where God has been pleas'd to cast my Lot. Causing me to lay down in green Pastures and leading me beside the still Waters Instructing me in the Revelation of his Will and Grace by Jesus Christ acquainting me with the sublime Principles and Articles Precepts and Rules Promises and Hopes of the Gospel in order to Eternal Life I bless Thee O Lord and shall for ever do so that with any or all these Advantages and Helps thy Holy Spirit hath taught me to know the Truth as it is in Jesus heartily to believe and obey it That by thy Grace I have been convinc'd of Sin and brought to Repentance shewing me the necessity of a Saviour to make my peace with Thee the all-sufficiency of his Grace the fulness of his Merit the freeness of his Love and his readiness to receive me to Mercy inviting and calling me to it and enabling me to accept his gracious Invitation and obey his compassionate Call making me willing by a Powerful and Victorious Grace drawing me with Cords of Love and so effectually persuading me to consent to thy Covenant and comply with thy Message on the gracious terms of the Gospel Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who through his abundant Mercy hath begotten me again to a lively Hope having humbled my proud Heart and conquer'd the perverseness of my stubborn Will and brought my Soul to an entire subjection to himself who took pity on me when he saw me in my Blood spread his Skirt over me cast a Mantle upon my Nakedness wash'd me from my Sins and put his own Comliness upon me by Sanctification who open'd my eyes when I was leaping blindfold into the Pit of Destruction who healed my Soul when I was sick unto Death who rescu'd and recover'd me from the Slavery of the Devil when I was led Captive by him at his will. Shall not a ransom'd redeemed Slave be thankful to his Deliverer Shall not a miserable undone Sinner who is received to Mercy be thankful for a Pardon Awake O my Soul and utter a Song of Praise to him * Psal 103. v. 3. who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and crowneth thee with loving-kindness and tender Mercies Hath he made thee Partaker of his own renewed Image and Likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physician thy Sun and thy Shield and thine exceeding great Reward and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been * Isa 43. v. 14. merciful to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins Hath he gathered me with his Arm and carried me in his Bosom Hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the holy Angels the Curse being removed and the Hand-writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the Breach made up the Mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious Pardon through the Sacrifice of my Blessed Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his ineomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank Thee most holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerful and dangerous Temptations that by preventing Mercy or restraining Grace thou hast kept me from many scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a Warning and a Caution to Me an Argument to Humility and a Motive to Watchfulness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and Delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any Opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing useful to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefulness of any of thy Servants wherein as a Member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any Support and Comfort to me or any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy Names sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succour Relief and Victory with respect to the Snares and Buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation and Practice to question the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the Mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of Men by Evil Company Intemperance secret Wickedness c. I Bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wanderings and by infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited favour that thou maist heal my Backslidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Sovereign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Blood cleanseth from all sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing Virtue awakening me to make holy Vows and calling upon me by thy Word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I Bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of peace when by the terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the apprehensions of thy deserved Wrath I was ready to despair that though thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in Mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy Salvation and chace away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the Finisher of my Faith and therefore though thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy loving-kindness thou hast not taken from me or suffer'd thy faithfulness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God making me to hear thy Voice which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better than Wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and my God and to have any Communion with thee since in publick or private Duties For all these innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the taste and Earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter O how great is his Goodness that he hath laid up for those that fear him And now Lord what wait I for my hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant with Thee
my self once more to be the Lord's more unfeignedly more firmly than ever I have hitherto done that the Bonds of God upon me may be strengthned and my Soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lord's O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affair of my whole Life by thine aid and Grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breathe upon my Soul most Holy Spirit the Power of the Highest that there may be no Hypocrisie or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and Holy Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Lovingkindness is better than Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy Word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most merciful God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightful Lord acknowledging thee as my Almighty Wise and bountiful Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctify me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yield my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual Avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Handmaid Though other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All-sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Blood. I now acknowledg and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfy for my Sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his Will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy merciful Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of Life and Glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath to come I acknowledg thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy Yoke upon me for it is Easie and thy Burthen which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Cross and follow thee whithersoever thou shalt lead me through the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labour grudge at no Suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. O shed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easie for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Blood. O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his Merit Satisfaction and Righteousness to justify my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and alsufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the Divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purify my Heart and to sanctify all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were Servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the Blood of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Believers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O blessed Spirit be thou my Witness that though I have violated the Law of God and defac'd his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospel yet by thine Aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self henceforward to be the Lord 's in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once again dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those which I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy Will making it my business to be fruitful in good Works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his appointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward Temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even Eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord
Goodness in preserving them to the beginning of another and withal excite them to pray for his Protection and Blessing for the New Year on which they now entred Maimonides the famous Jewish Rabbin thinks the sounding of Trumpets at this time was designed to signifie some such Exhortation as this (a) Canones de Poenitent cap. 3. can 6. Arise O ye sleepers out of your sleep and you that slumber awake out of your slumbering Search your works and turn by Repentance Remember your Creator you that have forgotten the Truth and have exchanged it for the Vanities of the World and have all your Lives wandred after Vanity which will not profit or deliver you Consider your Souls consider your Ways and Works and let every one of you forsake his evil way and his thoughts that are not good Some have imagined a typical Representation of the two Covenants in this Feast The Old Covenant figured by the Year passed and the Covenant of Grace or the Gospel state by the New Year then begun and that by the sound of Trumpets was prefigured the future Preaching of the Gospel according to that of the Apostle Their sound went forth unto all the Earth and their words unto the end of the World and so the Feast of Trumpets is abrogated by the Preaching of the Gospel if that were typically signified by it The publication of the Gospel is the joyful sound Psalm 89.15 And Ministers are to lift up their Voice like a Trumpet Isaiah 58.1 the discharge of their Office as Watchmen is exprest by setting the Trumpet to their mouth Hos 8.1 Ezek. 33. When the Jews shall be converted to the Faith of Christ it is said in that day the great Trumpet shall be blown and they shall come who were ready to perish Isaiah 27. ult 'T was the Office of the Priests to sound these Trumpets Numb 10.8 The publick Dispensation of the Gospel is committed to Ministers set apart for that Work as the Sons of Aaron for theirs We read but of two Trumpets at first for Eleazar and Ishamar the two Sons of Aaron Numb 3.4 But David added many musical Instruments And in Solomon's time at the dedication of the Temple we read of one hundred and twenty Priests who sounded with Trumpets 2 Tim. 5.12 Without supposing any Type here in a strict and proper sense we may yet farther consider the Parallel and observe how the Joy and Gratitude of these Trumpets did excite is exceeded by that greater rejoycing promised and foretold by the Prophets when the glad tidings of the Gospel of Salvation by the Messiah should be publisht to the World Isa 54.1 Luk. 2.11 Gal. 4.27 which hath been in part accomplisht And will be more compleat in that Kingdom of Peace and Purity which Christ will establish upon Earth toward the end of the World And shall be finally perfected at the end of Time when Days and Years and Time thus measured shall be no more When the Messiah our B. Saviour having finished his mediatory undertaking as to what concerns Earth shall come again from Heaven with the Trump of God to raise the Dead and summon all the World to their final Judgment Then shall he deliver up the Kingdom to his Father And the Faithful enter into the Joy of their Lord and be for ever with him There is a Tradition among the Jews mentioned by Maimonides (b) Canones de Poenit. ch 3. can 5. that on the first day of the New Year God enters into Judgment for the Sins of the Year and Life past That every ones Faults are weighed against his good Works He that is found Righteous is sealed unto Life And he that is found Wicked is sealed unto Death And 't is a general Custom that hath obtained among the Jews for the ten first days of the New Year to rise out of their Beds in the Night and to continue in their Synagogues praying and worshipping until break of day The superstitious and ridiculous Ceremonies of the (c) Vid. Ceremones Cout parmi les Iuifs d'aujourdhuy par 2. c. 53 modern Jews on this Day I shall not repeat However vain and groundless superstitious and absurd many of their Customs and Practises are on this Day Yet this blind Devotion of the Jews may justly shame and condemn the Christians of our Age Who commonly spend the Beginnings of every Year worse than any other parts of them and instead of any solemn Retirement for Prayer and Meditation which might assist them to number their Days and prepare for Eternity instead I say of such seasonable Exercises how do vain and hurtful Sports and Pastimes or trifling and unedifying mirth and fruitless conversations consume the greatest part of the Days and Nights too of the beginning of the Year And thus when the first fruits of the Year are offered up to Sin and Vanity 't is no wonder if the following parts of it are imployed to no better purpose without any due concern for the Soul and an Everlasting State. To endeavour some Remedy to those disorders and give some Assistance to them who desire seriously to make Religion their Principal Business is the end of publishing these Reflections I most heartily beseech the God of all Grace to influence by his Holy Spirit the Conscience of every Reader that some such effect may be attained Having found the Practice recommended to be of some use to my self and my own Heart warmed in composing the substance of these Papers tho' without any Intention at that Time of exposing them to the World 't is not unreasonable to hope That what hath been beneficial to one may be helpful to another It cannot certainly be unadviseable or improper to Begin the Year with God with whom we should begin every Day 'T is decorous and becoming to Dedicate our selves to Him in a more solemn manner than ordinary at such a Time Thankfully to acknowledge the Favours and Blessings we have particularly received the Year Past And to recollect the Sins we have been guilty of to aggravate them with Humility Contrition and deep Remorse to renew our Covenant with God to repeat and fortifie our Resolutions of living better imploring his Grace to assist us in it to reflect seriously on the Mutability Frailty and Brevity of our present Life to consider the Swiftness Uncertainty Irrecoverableness and consequently Value of our Time to look forward to a Blessed or Miserable Eternity one of which we must share in and to confirm our Faith in the Certainty thereof and consider our near Approach to such an unchangeable State to think what Improvement we should make at the Death of others especially of Relations and Friends who have lately been called home To make the Supposition in good earnest that we may follow them this Year and dye before another New Years-Day to imprint such a Thought on our Hearts and the Inferences that may naturally be deduced from it to beg of God to inable us to Redeem
spend my whole Life in Diversions from the main business of it Have I nothing else to do but to gather Shells if they were Pearls the absurdity were still the same and pile them upon heaps till I am snatcht away past all recovery Shall I be regardless of an Eternal State and run the hazard of being undone for ever by sollicitous care about pretended Necessaries for a long abode on Earth Much less for Superfluities when I am not certain of the Possession this one Year Shall I magnifie and admire what is so soon to be parted with Value my self upon these things so as to despise those that have less and envy such as have more and suffer my Mind to be distempered and my passions immoderate on every Change of these things Tho' I know besides my own Mortality that to inforce the Argument there is a principle of Corruption in all these things that our very Manna here in a little while will stink and Bread which is the staff of Life moulder our richest Garments wax old and rot Silver and Gold rust and the greatest Beauty wither and every thing that is Earthly decay and perish And shall not this teach me to sit loose from all such things Can I imagine that in my last hour it will be easier to part with much than little or better in the day of Judgment to have a great Estate to answer for than a lesser one We read concerning the Patriarch Abraham who rightly understood the transitory nature of Riches and his own mutable Condition that the only purchase he made with his Riches was a Grave chusing to take Possession of the Land promised him rather by a mark of his parting with it than of his possessing it Did I think oftner and more seriously O my Soul of tarrying here but a little while I should more easily be perswaded that a little of this World were sufficient to carry me through it I should consider more that my Heaven-born Soul is made and designed for another an endless World and therefore should not so far forget his own People and Fathers House as eagerly to pursue and seek what is suited only to the Body for a little while and whereof a little with Contentment will be sufficient The same Reflection may be useful to contract our Thoughts to present Duty that we may not perplex our Minds with long designs and Projects which if we dye this this Year will come to nothing Our great Business in this World is adapted to the little portion of Time which is allowed us Not that good Designs for the publick Benefit may not be begun by one and finisht by others or that we are not obliged prudently to provide for those who shall come after us by attempting many Things of probable Advantage to Posterity But considering the shortness and uncertainty of Life not only should the most necessary Things be first minded and not put off by prosecuting such designs as may signifie somewhat to others when we are Dead But we should not now omit that which we may hope to compass our selves to begin such things whose accomplishment must depend on the Pleasure of our Successors Consideration and faithful Counsel would in this case have prevented the fruitless Expence of many Mens Time and Money which if otherwise imployed might have turned to good account to themselves and others And this heightens our Folly that while we pursue great Projects in reference to this World and dye without effecting them our preparations for Eternity are neglected and so we are suddenly cut off in the midst of our Folly and all our Thoughts perish How easily how soon may they do so The difference and distance between Death and Life being no more than that of a Candle lighted from its being blown out and if it is exposed to all Winds how quickly may that happen XVIII The consideration of the certain near Approach of an Everlasting State amplified and prest to inforce an Holy Life IN this World we begin a Year and quickly come to the end of it and ere long the little number of our Years and Days will be expired But when Death conveys us into the World of Spirits the day of Eternity shall never be closed with an Evening Of how fearful consequence is that Death by which an Eternity must be decided What attention what seriousness what diligence what care doth the dicision of so important a matter call for ETERNAL what will be the next word O my Soul how much am I concerned to know it will it be Blessedness or Misery will it be Life or Death This one word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the unspeakable delight of blessed Saints and the confusion and despair of condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder then we but our Immortal Souls shall endure beyond the utmost limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose duration there is no end Shall I then exist and live though my Body perish and see corruption Shall my Soul my Self exist beyond the Grave in Felicity or Misery and that for ever and according to my present Actions What am I then most concerned to mind What am I to chuse What am I most to fear to wish to do What is a shadow of Honour and Reputation among dying Men What are a few drops of fleshly Pleasure for a Moment to eternal Rivers of Pleasure at God's right hand What are the sufferings of an hour or two to the pains and anguish of Eternity What can the World Flesh or Devil give me comparable to eternal Life What can I suffer in the way of Holiness that may be set in the Balance against an Everlasting Hell And yet how often O my Soul how boldly how unconcernedly how foolishly do I hazard the one and forfeit the other for the Sins and Vanities of this World Whereas one prospect of Eternity should make every thing that is Temporal appear little in my Eyes the highest elevation of earthly Greatness abundance of Riches the great Affairs Business and Imployments of the World Pomp and Splendor and Reputation and all that now flatters the Senses and the vanity of Mankind Oh that I could but live as believing and expecting an Eternal State as having it in my Eye managing all my affairs with a visible reference to it discovering to all the World by my Behaviour and Deportment that I do in earnest believe it certain for be it never so Certain if I do not apprehend and consider it as such it will no more affect me than a Fable Neither is it enough to consider it as certain but as near for the most weighty the most terrible things apprehended as at a great distance will little move Thinking of the long Interval between the advantage of being exempted from such Evils for so long a time will please me
a Change do we think it would work upon us But if we will nor hear Moses and the Prophets Christ and his Apostles neither should we believe tho one came from the Dead XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our desires and endeavours after greater Meetness to possess it DOth one year after another hasten me to the end of Time And doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend on the Communications I now receive from God On the Preparations I now make and the Meetness I can now attain for Eternal Felicity in the Presence of my God and Saviour O with what Intenseness of mind should I now prosecute that glorious Object with what unwearied diligence should I run the race that is set before me lest I fall short of the Incorruptible Crown of Life How should every thing be undervalued and rejected that would divert retard or hinder me from pursuing this end Lord be not a stranger to my Soul in this distant Wilderness state Let me see more of thy Light be transform'd more into thine Image experience more of thy Love feel more of thy vital Presence and quickening Spirit let the Divine Life in my Soul be more powerful and the Characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it by the daily exercise of Faith and Hope and holy Affections carry me through this World till my Pilgrim state be over and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness And let the believing fore-thoughts of it till all the Powers of my Soul with Joy and Wonder Desire and Love Give me Lord to think a right of the Heavenly Glory as a confirmed State of positive perfect Holiness of heavenly Light Love Liberty and Joy with the satisfying Vision of God in the Face of Christ and his impressed Likeness dwelling for ever in the direct and steady view of his transforming Glory with compleat conformity of the Soul to Eternal Goodness Truth and Love as its Perfection esteeming nothing desiring nothing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an intire Subjection to his Will adherence to him Rest and Confidence in him swallowed up in the Love Admiration and Praise of God and our Lord Jesus living in joyful repeated Acts of Subjection Adoration and acknowledg'd Dependance ravisht to behold the Glory of God in the Face of Christ to see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints c. When all the present Blindness of our Minds the Errors of our Judgment the Perversness of our Will the Disorder and Rebellion of our Passions the remaining Aversation from God and Disaffection to him which in this World we complain of shall all be done away The Flesh shall no more Lust against the Spirit or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds but an everlasting Tranquility and holy Peace take place a Peace which passeth all understanding without any outward Molestation or inward cause of Disquiet Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth Mire and Dirt as now we shall have no more vain or wicked Thoughts no more sinful Fears or foolish Hopes unbecoming Heats unruly Desires sensual Inclinations earthly Affections feeble slothful spiritless Duties dead and heartless Prayers cold Thanksgivings c. but as we shall then know God without Error and see our Lord Jesus face to face so we shall love him without reserve more than now we can think and serve him without Dulness and Distraction and Praise him without Weariness the spiritual Actings of our Souls shall have no allay of Dross And thus shall we be with him and admire and injoy him without end Thus when Death is swallowed up in victory and what was imperfect is done away and what was Corruptible and Mortal hath put on Immortality God in Christ shall be All in All And when it is truly and perfectly so Then it is Heaven The blessedness whereof is unconceivable A Blessed Person is not exprest in the singular Number by the Hebrews but in the abstract and in the Plural Beatitudes instead of Blessed because the Blessings are as many and great as they have Powers and Capacities to partake of Blessedness so will it be in Heaven A Word tho commonly used as little understood as Holiness which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World. But will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood by the Blessed Saints as the Malignity and intrinsick Evil of Sin shall be by the damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my Soul by a farther Participation of his holy Image and Conformity to his Will by more vital Effects of his indwelling Spirit in my Soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own delightful Residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Covetous and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the Mark When I seriously examine my own heart had I nothing else to prove the weakness of my Grace and the sinful remainders of Unbelief but the low desires and few comfortable Thoughts the seldom joyful prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it of my low attainments that I breathe with no more Impatience after that Blessed Holy Rest in the injoyment of God and Christ and labour no more in preparing for it When we profess to believe that all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix'd on Him and filled with Him as our Infinite and Supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in endless Admiration Gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and Vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of Change. And by consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to give a relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this World is by comparing a Man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiors But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such Foil to set it off no such Comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively Sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and wonderful Change. And what was at first delightful will for ever be so and not be disdain'd or lessen'd by a continuance as it happens in this World from the Emptiness Shallowness and Vanity of the Creature An Affectation of Variety and desire of Change proceeding always from a Sense of Want. But Holy Souls shall never be weary of seeing loving and injoying God his blessed Presence will afford us undecaying and endless Satisfaction Pleasure never to be interrupted or abated and never to cease The blessed Object is absolutely Infinite and so will be always new to a finite understanding and
continual fresh Communications from his infinite fulness must needs make our subjective Happiness to be always new and eternally such Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent Endeavours after a greater meetness to injoy so great a Bliss And to that end consider whether any of those happy Souls who have finisht their Course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost Diligence Patience and Perseverance during their short abode here to secure the Blessedness of an endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the Trouble they were at the Care they used the Difficulties they met with the Sufferings they indured to conflict with the World and the Flesh to resist Temptation to watch over their Hearts and Words and Ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithful to him c. They find to their unspeakable Comfort and everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither Yea they find that they were not Diligent and Humble and Patient and Circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his Glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and Opportunities of doing and receiving Good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the transcendency of the blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more than the most Active Zealous Christian upon Earth did ever do in order to it Lord quicken my Resolutions and Endeavours by such thoughts as these Inspire my sluggish carnal Heart with holy Light and Life and Zeal and Fervour that looking to the things which are not seen which are Eternal I may * 1 Tim. 1.19 lay up a good Foundation against the Time to come and so lay hold of eternal Life But alas How much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy Meditation How little skill and experience have I in it How tastless and insipid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or Advantage have I by contemplating his highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retain the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this World be to me how comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring Snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and resist ' em with what an unconcerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintain such a frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious Contemplation of Divine Mysteries in Fervent Prayers and other Solemn Duties of Religion when the acts of Faith were strong and lively my Heart set on fire with love to God and holy breathings after him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in particular when he brought me to the very Suburbs of Heaven tho alas how seldom by the delightful Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be here this is no other than the Gate of Heaven Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart fly off how soon did the flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth again sunk down from the Bosom of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and imbrace a Dunghill 'T was not on my own Wings O Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the breathings of that holy Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the Wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me Pant and Groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible Desire and Joy unconceivably mixt with Sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the World to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming Zeal of the stony Ground the rapturous Joy of an Hypocrite from the Power of Imagination and a heated Fancy from the workings of meer natural Self-love upon mistaken apprehensions of God and a false Opinion of Heaven but by the holy effects let me be assured of the Cause and Principle that it was of God! Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his appointed Ordinances to argue to my self what that most ravishing Satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the Soul. Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less than we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the Lustre of the Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtain so near a View of his Glory and feel such sweet Communications of his Grace how much more of this Consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim State the Gifts and Graces and Comforts of the Holy Spirit are so refreshing O! what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in our Heart after such a manner how much better shall I love him and feel the influence and evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him Face to Face If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping Soul O what shall I know and see And how shall I rejoyce when the Vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and Jesus Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the Earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the full Possession of it If the Hopes of that glorious Day by holy Meditation be so transporting what will be the end of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a Cordial what will be the whole Vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all
an indefinite hereafter Do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found Or am I content to dye through an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more than possible 't is easy to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the Light of the Gospel who never suspected their Danger How ordinary how common a thing is it for Men to be thus deceived how successful is the Devil in this stratagem against the Souls of Men Is it not then a most criminal stupidity to be contentedly ignorant and unresolved whether I am reconciled to God or no whether I am led by the Flesh or the Spirit whether I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary ends that is whether if I die in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an enquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible or my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my Soul till I am leaving this World the unfittest time of all to begin so important an Affair what am I to whom do I belong whose Image do I bear how have I lived and what do I do what do I love most what do I most constantly desire and choose and seek how doth the Pulse of my Soul beat is it quickest towards God or towards the World whither am I going what will be the final upshot and issue of my present course is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by dying what security have I got for Eternal Life what provisions have I made what foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and seldom or never bethink themselves in good earnest and for any time with a setled composed exercise of thoughts which of these Two is like to be their Lot. Or if they begin to search and try themselves they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluck off the Plaister as soon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or having escap'd the grosser Pollutions of the World judge too favourably of their own ease They commonly do the work but by halves and so go from the Glass and forget what manner of persons they were Let me therefore O my Soul sequester my self from the World to commune with my own heart to reflect upon my past life and look into my present state to recollect and review the most considerable passages of my course and time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practice is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most serious Concerns about it And how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the end of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this World in their Generation than the Children of Light Who is so exact in his Accompts between God and his own Soul as Trades-men in their Dealings with one another Who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State Who doth at set times once a Month or once a Quarter or even once a Year take a just view of Himself his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know whether he thrive or decay whether he increase or decrease whether he go backward or forward wherher he be Richer or Poorer this year than the last And is it not a symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of jealousie and suspicion that you are behind hand because you are loath to inquire whether you are or no and unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a Determination at what uncertainties must we live and how unconceivable an hazard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run And how reasonable how necessary is it that we should know and in order to it prove our selves We must therefore bestow Time and serious Diligence about it that we may examine matters to the bottom and come to some Result so that we may form a right Judgment concerning our own case He that would do it to good purpose must endeavour to understand clearly the terms of the Covenant on God's part and on ours and take care not to Judge of himself by mistaken rules by a false Standard that God will not justifie or by any such characters as will not conclude But most men are unwilling to bring themselves to a Trial or to let Conscience deal plainly and faithfully with them They are stupidly secure and see not the necessity of this duty Or do not suspect themselves They presume they need not be at that Trouble or are so taken up with the World that they cannot find time and leasure for it And many men dare not bring their Hearts and Ways to a Trial. There is commonly some secret Lust indulg'd which they are loath to let go But most go on in sin and perish Eternally because they think there is no danger of perishing and never Repent and make their Peace with God because they fancy and presume 't is done already Therefore let me beg of thee whoever thou art who readest this to put the case to thy self seriously to admit the doubt whether you are not mistaken make the supposition that you have not hitherto sufficiently considered the State of your Soul. You are confident that all is well and thereupon are unwilling to examine farther but for that very reason you ought to question whether it be so or not Do but ask your selves seriously what is the ground of your good Opinion concerning your self For what reason can you thus conclude Did you ever seriously lay to heart the Characters and Description which the Scriptures give of those whom Christ will own at the last day and of such whom he will reject and reprobate With unfeigned application to your own case have you therewith prov'd your selves and come to a setled Judgment after a deliberate Enquiry And was the Conclusion to your Comfort and Joy If so what influence hath it since had upon your Heart and Life Hath it promoted Purity Thankfulness Heavenly-mindedness Contempt of this World and stronger Desires after the Image Love and Presence of God and the Glory of Christ Moreover consider Is not this
to witness this day That I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul. This I again ratifie and confirm without any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God. Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Spirit XXIX Practical and Consolatory Reflections on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God. I Have this day solemnly avouched the Lord to be my God to walk in his ways thereby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my Deut. 6. c. 17 18. House and All that I can persuade to be of my mind will serve the Lord. I intend desire and hope never willfully to violate the Faith which I have now plighted in the presence of God but to continue stedfast unmoveable always abounding in the work of the Lord c. Should I undertake any new Imployment or enter into any new Condition or change the place of my Abode where I might see more of God's dishonour and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin and be called to the performance of more difficult duties greater watchfulness and self-denial c. I would hope hereby to ingage the presence of God with me and his Blessing on all my Affairs on which depends the success of all that I undertake and would hope the better to preserve my Integrity not only This Year but in all the remaining portion of my Time by the abiding sense of my Covenant with God thus seriously renewed This is the method I have been often advis'd to for Peace of Conscience under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual State to put the matter out of doubt by again accepting the offered mercy and Grace of the Gospel and heartily consenting to the new Covenant giving up my self to God in Christ to be ruled and saved by him Blessed be God I have now done so Lord say Amen to thy part of the Covenant that Thou art and wilt be my God as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine that I will be thy Servant But beeause Articles are sooner consented to than made good tho I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live that having sworn I will endeavour to perform it that this shall be my Everlasting Choice never to be recanted or alter'd yet considering the sad Instances of my former weakness and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adversary I again implore the succour of Divine Grace to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians never to be reversed I have given up my name to be Thine O put thy fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart that my obedience may be uniform and universal unwavering and perpetual suitable to so honourable and near a Relation to Thee I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee who givest liberally to All without desert and upbraidest not with present unworthiness or former faults O lead me not into Temptation but deliver me from Evil. Stand by and Strengthen me in the Hour of Trial lest I forget my vows and deny Thee O that my Soul may never draw back lest Thine have no Pleasure in me I can serve no better Master O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine house as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 't is my Duty I am sensible 't is my Privilege and Honour I am convinc'd that 't is my Interest and Felicity my Soul my Life my present and everlasting Welfare and All depends upon it that thou shouldst be my God for ever O conduct me by thy Holy Spirit of Grace that I may walk and act as having heartily consented he should be so and direct my Heart into thy Love and the faithful keeping of thy Commandments That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a Good Conscience and discredit the Religion of my Lord by their shameful Falls thou mayst make me to stand and improve the warning of their Examples to walk humbly and while I stand to take heed least I fall Having thus surrendred my self to God what is there O my Soul that is ever like to prevail with me to go back and revolt from him Is the gratification of a Lust the securing of an Estate compliance with a Friend the pleasing of a Superior living in Ease and Honour and outward Prosperity for a little while the saving my Body from Suffering or my life from Violence or what ever else be the Motive of my unfaithfulness to God and Apostacy from Him Is Any is All of these any way considerable compared with the Blessedness of having God to be my God For thereby I have the forgiveness of all my Sins and the Assurance of his Favour the certainty of present Protection and Provision all Creatures reconciled to me and to be imployed for my Good as the Friend of God All things to work together for my Advantage and by the evidence of my Adoption a well grounded Hope of Eternal Life God as my Sun and Shield will give Grace and Glory and with-hold no Good Thing So unspeakably Comprehensive are the Privileges of so near a Relation to God in Christ O happy are the People who are in such a case Blessed are the Persons whose God is the Lord. Do I resolve to abide by my Choice and to trust in Christ for persevering Grace and shall I not ought I not to take Comfort in it Shall I not give God the Glory of his infinite Goodness by adhering to him and rejoycing in him notwithstanding all Temptations to the Contrary Casting all my Care upon him and quieting my self in the Alsufficiency of my Heavenly Father having a God in Covenant who will supply all my wants and take care of me as his own Shall I not give him the glory of his Truth and Power by trusting him in every Condition By confidence in his Promise Dependance on his Word Faithfulness to his Interest and Constancy in his Service to the end Is it not a most encouraging Thought That God doth never Abandon any who do not first forsake him And after such strict Engagements as I have laid upon my self shall I ever strike the fatal stroke with my own Hand Shall I be off and on say and unsay promise and retract And after I have proceeded thus far shall I forsake the Fountain of Living Waters and turn again to broken Cisterns After I have examin'd my self consider'd my ways confest my Sins and upon serious Deliberation am come to a Resolve and in pursuance of it have devoted my self with such solemnity to be the Lord's shall I ever after this forsake Him and my own Mercies and lightly esteem the Rock of my Salvation Now I have