I punished and pinched at the verie harte euen because I am vnable to answere thy benefits so great and so manifold Oah that I could euen but once worthelie and thoroughlie thanke thee for all these things But what maie proceede from him in whome nothing is An emptie vessell can minister no drinke What then shall I doo Something I must giue For it is not lawfull to come before God with an emptie hand Because the Lord abhorreth the vngratefull man Oah that I could finde something in this world to giue you that might be acceptable in your sight Oah my Lord whome in hart I loue what would you that I should giue you As for anie good thing of mine you neede it not And whie then exact you a gift at mine hands For riches none is comparable to you and yet require you some-what of mee L. That which I demaunde is euen your selfe wholie For so it is expedient if you would purchase my fauour I will giue grace to you and you shall showe grace to mee and so loue shall be continued betweene vs. Giue mee your selfe and you haue giuen euen all S. O good Iesus the fountane of all goodnes the fountane of life the fountane of grace the fountane of sweetenes the verie fountane of aie lasting wisdome powre vpon mee euen at this instant I beseech thee the gift of thy celestiall grace and teach mee to be gratefull and to giue my selfe before all thinges wholie vnto you for this is the deerest thing that I can render This I doo knowe and acknowledge Therefore receaue mee lo I am wholie thine and all that mine is is thine Onlie one thing there is which I cannot giue and that is my sin which is mine indeede properlie and therefore not to be imputed vnto thee Sinne mine is and all defaultes within me are to be ascribed to me onlie but glorie and for all thy benefits thankes be vnto thee But nowe in calling thy benefits into minde of manie I gather onlie a fewe and those which doo most of all moue mee and appeere in my mind For neither wil the time suffer to recite neither can my thoughtes comprehend them all Because for number theie are infinite for greatnes incomprehensible and inestimable for goodnes For bought theie cannot bee because theie are freelie giuen And therefore onlie thankes be required for them otherwise all shall be taken awaie as from that vngratefull one First therefore and afore all things I thanke thee ô Lord my God creator of all things for making mee a man after thine image and similitude and for placing mee ouer the workes of thine hands This is the great and first benefit bestowed vpon mee and that of thy meere goodnes For I made not my selfe but thine handes did fashion mee theie brought me into this world through my parents whome thy will was should serue thee herein And lo I am better than other creatures exalted aboue the beastes of the fielde and birdes of the aër in that I am facioned after thine image endued with eternall wisedome and naturallie participate of the light vncreate and of the vnchangeable truth Wherefore for my beeing liuing and vnderstanding I giue thee euerlasting praise wishing and desiring herewithall that all creatures both in heauen and earth maie euerlastinglie commend thy glorious and most excellent name I blesse thee ô Father Lord of heauen and earth who of nothing through thy onlie begotten Sonne Iesus Christ in the holie Ghost hast created all things Yea al things thou hast made not of necessirie compelled but of pure and special loue moued therunto therby to showe thy power vnto the sons of men and by thine inuisible and coëternall wisedome with thee thou hast most perfectlie disposed this visible world Let all thy creatures subiect in all things to thee and ordeined for the vse of man blesse thee For at thy commandement both raine falleth from heauen and fructe springeth from the earth The sunne shineth brightlie in the daie time the starres giue light by course in the night The fountanes spring the riuers flowe and fishes of diuers kindes doo swim The birdes not onlie flie but sing also and the goates the coltes and hartes doo spring vpon the mountaines The sheep and other cattell dop ioie in good pasture and diuers other liuing creatures doo run about the groaues The ground waxeth greene the fieldes prosper and trees of the wood doo yeeld both bowes and fructe O Lord which onlie doost woonderous things euen all these are thy woorkes Another benefit which thou hast bestowed vpon mee is the mysterie of incarnation the worke of my redemption the price of our saluation euen the fructe of thy passion and death O greate worke of mercie Oah worke of moste excellent loue moste abiect humilitie of moste rare patience No man could merit nor Angel procure this thing The Prophets haue wondered at it the Apostles haue seene taught it the faithfull haue embraced it and the elect especiallie doo loue and call it into minde The due consideration of this benefit stirreth vp good desires inflameth the harte nurisheth deuotion inlighteneth the minde purgeth the affection draweth on to heauen-ward with-draweth from the world driueth vnto God and vniteth the soule with Christ. This benefit far excelleth the aboue mentioned yet there is one which gaue each and hath bestowed both of them vpon vs euen our Lord Iesus Christ. For what the better had I bin for my life if I had not bin redeemed with the pretious blood of my Sauior Christ Therefore the grace and mercie of God grewe vpon me and plenteous redemption was made for the corrupted nature of man without the aide of God his maker could neuer haue bin repared O Father of mercies and God of all comfort thou to redeeme thy damned seruant hast giuen thine onlie Sonne to the death O wonderfull I kindnes of thine to vs ward vnto which neither the wit of man nor the vnderstanding of Angels can attaine But alone sweete Christe who art the beginning and the ende of our saluation and alone couldst helpe the miserable and damned thou alone art priuie to the same For thou didest vouchsafe to appeere vnto the world in the likenes of a most vile seruant and for mortall wormes euen of meere pittie receauedst with a willing minde the iudgement of a cruell death O good Iesus thou which art the fountaine of mercie the light of aie lasting glorie the pure glasse without spot of God his maiestie kindle mine harte with the meditation of this vnspeakeable benefit bestowed vpon mee and vpon all mankinde But this as was the former is generall sufficient to saue all but not effectual in all by reason of the incredulitie and malice of manie howbeit it saueth and is profitable to all the elect for whose sake all things
ouer mine hart which forthwith driueth out the cloudes of all wicked cogitations whereby I doo enioie the long desired cleerenes of God his light Because no vncleane nor filthie thing can stand where he entereth in for hee loueth puritie and is the ingraffer of the same so that of necessitie all satanicall illusion together with the pomps of this world must be packing Therefore my passions and tentations which I did endure being supprised I began both the more euidentlie to knowe and the more earnestlie to loue and the more hartelie to praise him for vouchsafing at the length to beate back the damned crewe of the wicked from assailing mee For theie doo disturbe my peace and sin dooth so shut vp my mouth that I am ashamed to speake vnto my welbeloued But in vaine doo theie bend themselues against his power and wisedome because euen in a moment he can slide downe into mine hart and poure in secretlie good motions that I maie both contemne and vtterlie neglect all their priuie whisperings O my faithfull and all happie freend take mee so vnto thee whensoeuer thou shalt perceaue mine affections to be either pressed downe at anie time with the waight of sin or to be held with vnnecessarie busines that I maie not wander far astraie from thee after the swarme of wicked cogitations and so ouerhastelie be depriued of thy grace without which I shall not be able to enioie thy freendship For thou art my Lord and my God which by thy word doost both heale and sanctifie which holdest my soule in life and sufferest not my feete to slip but deliuerest mee from the euill daie and from the snares of death Oah how manie haue bin cast off and vtterlie perished that haue bin much more innocent than I am And therefore my soule praise thou the Lord and all that is within mee blesse his holie Name My soule I saie praise thou the Lord and forget not all his benefits It is all too little and far vnsufficient whatsoeuer thou shalt either thinke or speake or promise to his praise For hee exceedeth all praise and is much sweeter than anie musick Wherefore my soule cleaueth to thee alone and loueth thee aboue all other gifts notwithstanding it be exceedinglie beutifull and sweete which of meere good will thou hast sent vnto mee For thou alone art the spouse as for all things else theie are gifts and arguments of loue In steed of thee I will not loue them neither will I beleeue that anie thing or all things in the world can suffice mee if I haue not thee for in so dooing I maie perchance forgoe thee with them too Thou giuest me leaue to vse manie things for thy sake but I maie not enioie so much as one thing in thy steed And therefore ô Christ my sweete spouse I haue preferred thee afore all other things and my care hath bin aboue all things to loue thee Wherefore grant that blessedlie I maie enioie thee and in that vnion euerlastinglie to triumph in happines together with thee But how far am I come I haue lengthened my speech more than perhaps you would But pardon me good freend For I haue bin carried aloft through the loue of mine especiall and onlie freend and would to God it would please him still to lift vp both mee and you too in contemplation Let him prouide an heauenlie ascension but let vs not keepe a base going downe M. Aske you mee whether I am forsaken at anie time of my beloued S. Yea I saie so M. But how doo you behaue your selfe in trooble S. I take all things as patientlie as I can expecting his comming Naturalie I am grieued but as touching my spirit I haue inward patience that my griefe prooue not incurable For I forget not how hee that loueth liueth in paine I liue by faith I beleeue the holie Scriptures I giue credit to the words of comfort And although I endure affliction yet I doubt not neither in deede ought I to doubt but that God when it pleaseth him can send mee ease For true and to be credited are those woordes which are declared Because the verie sancts themselues haue bin exercised in manie and proued in like things Nature continuallie dooth wish for quietnes and seeketh to be comforted in some thing but the spirit notwithstanding is readie to sustaine whatsoeuer the wil of God is I should endure If therefore I shall be lesse zelous and lesse willing to doo good my punishment shall be the more greuous Though he slaie me saith the wiseman yet will I trust in him If I loue virtues patience is a great virtue therefore let patience euermore bee retained For the more praise we purchase the more paines we take in bringing things to passe And that our virtue maie be proued and made the more glorious we are commonlie exercised by contrarie euents Therefore whensoeuer anie such triall shal happen be not out of hart neither fall downe but reteine thou patience and extoll the righteousnes of God The Lord is not so hard and pittilesse that he can suffer you to abide long vncomforted Onlie haue a care that you neither lament immoderatlie nor yet murmur against the righteous and iust God because you are forsaken least the wicked spirit doo send vnto you more greeuous tentations of your faith whereby being ouerfearefull you shall extreemelie bee afflicted Wherefore beare a little and suppresse your sorowe although the griefe both of your hart and bodie be neuer so great Abide constant in that good purpose which at the first you intended to keepe For it is good especiallie at such an extremitie to cast all confidence vpon the beloued Looke thou patientlie for God his heauenlie comfort so shall you speedelie perceaue a speciall fauor and sight of God Lo you haue a faithfull witnesse saieng I waited patientlie for the Lord and hee inclined vnto mee and heard my crie And that in your neede you maie finde the like fauor I doo wish you both earnestlie to praie your selfe and desire others to praie for you also and so commit your selfe wholie and is priuie vnto the things to come Euen I the Lord which haue doon all things in measure number and weight I am the creator both of heauen and earth the ruler of this world the knower of hidden things the reuealer of secrets the possessor of the whole world and the beholder of the causes of all particulars I am God and change not who haue continuallie with me the causes of all changes in the world I am God the almightie whose power is inuincible I am God the most high whose highnes can not bee attained I am God the most righteous whose beeing can not be conceaued I am for my presence euerie-where and yet no where to be seene I am the most spirituall and farthest from the senses of man I
am so often wounded through whose absence I am so grieued through whose gratious visitation so refreshed sometime Where is my God whome euen once to see is to knowe all things Where is my God in whome both mine hart and my flesh doo so earnestlie desire to reioice Where is my God for whose loue I suffer such paine and sorowe His verie remembrance is sweete but his presence is more louelie and expelleth all sadnes fro mine hart Where is mine hope and my crowne Is it not in thee my God and in thy blessed countenance Oah showe mee once thy glorie and thy face so will I cesse to complaine If I contende a little with thee ô blame mee not extreeme zeale of good will hath manie woonderfull deuises I am driuen to expect and moued still to long and so this ioiefull combat dooth continue CHAP. 21. 1. The delaieng of the happie is patientlie to be borne 2. The felicitie of the life to come 3. with a Praier for the same O Lord I haue loued the habitation of thine house and the place where thine honor dwelleth How gladlie I would be with thee thou knowest full well ô my God and how entirelie I desire the same I am not able sufficientlie to expresse I wish it not onlie when I am euill at ease but also what prosperitie soeuer I enioie my desire is to bee with thee But how shall my longing be satisfied Heere it greeueth mee to continue and yet of necessitie I must but my desire is to be with thee and I maie not yet And therefore I see no remedie but that I am with patience to endure this delaie and to refer my wishing to thine holie will For what Is it meete I should murmur when it must be so God forbid Againe I haue the examples of manie of Gods children which haue vsed long patience in this life and yet their harts were in heauen Therefore if thy will be to prolong my pilgrimage I am willing to abide and obeie your pleasure Howbeit that with lesse griefe I may beare my longing to be with thee I will till that time still meditate with my selfe of that celestiall habitation Yet I presume not to pierce into the least of those ioies which thou hast prepared for such as loue thee but of this and that I will meditate to the end that mine affection being pressed downe and infected oftentimes it maie be stirred vp and lifted into the hope of eternall blisse O that that daie had once shined whether then had the ioies of heauen rauished mee How merrie at the hart should I be then and how happie should I thinke my selfe How happie should I then bee enioieng a continuall peace From thencefoorth should I make none enquirie for anie thing seeing no secret could be hid But my life is spent in darkenes and therefore no maruell though my sight doo dazel betweene the cloudes of glorie Notwithstanding I will lift vp mine eies and though a far off behold and salute that holie citie Ierusalem builded in the heauen euen of liuelie stones namelie of holie angels and men replenished continuallie with praise mirth and magnifieng the Lord their God for euer and euer Now therefore my soule take vnto thee the wings of desire and flie vpward flie I saie from all bodelie senses ascend from the visible forme of this world vnto the holie house of God euen vnto the newe Ierusalem builded substantiallie in aie lasting peace crowned with glorie and honor and blessed with the abundance of all good things Lo wonderfull and vnspeakeable are the things of heauen which no man either can or maie vtter No sense is able to conceaue neither can the vnderstanding of man attaine to knowe howe God is in his sanctes glorious and woonderfull in his maiestie Mount thou in cogitation euen vnto the hiest things stretch thy desire into the euerlasting eternitie and saie with the Prophet Glorious things are spoken of thee ô citie of God There whatsoeuer can be wished of man is had and what is once got is kept without care God there is beheld face to face cleerelie trulie continuallie and eternallie There the blessed and all glorious Trinitie in one vnseparable vnitie which of all the blessed citizens of heauen is woorshipped praised and magnified is perfectlie knowen There is mine onlie and right singularlie beloued freend which is more pretious to mee than all riches and the treasure aboue all to bee desired euen my Lord Iesus Christ the immortall spouse of the Church in whome are hid but yet reuealed to the sanctes from the beginning of the world the whole treasure of wisedome and knowledge O how iocund are the sanctes now before the face of the most holie who is the cause and spring of their blessednes For there hee speaketh vnto them not in parables but plainlie of the Father Hee is their booke euen the woord which in the beginning was with God teaching all things and performing all things so that theie want nothing in glorie O blessed and euerlasting glorie not of small remembrance but all happie in God his presence There is also the most glorious Mother of our Sauior and constant virgine Maâ—â—e bewtiâ—â—eng the whole celestiall courte with her comlines and bewtie compassed and accompanied with troupes of virgins as with sweete roases and lilies of the valies There be the angels and archangels placed in order who moste cheerefullie sound forth the praises of God â— There bee the Patriarches and Prophets euen theie which beeing filled long ago with the holie Ghost did foretell of Christ his comming whome nowe theie both knowe and euermore confesse to be their Lord and Sauior the King of kings and perfect God There theie behold eie to eie their Redeemer whome long theie looked for and for whose comming theie longed There be the Lordes Apostles and Disciples those most reuerend and renowmed Fathers which were filled with holines and grace and laide a strong foundacion of the Catholique faith There especiallie shineth that reuerend man Iohn which baptized our Sauior Christ and was a speciall freend of my Spouse There is Peter and Paule and Andrewe and Philip and Thomas and Iames and Iohn and all the other Apostles and Euangelistes pillers of the Church To keepe the faith and to follow the example of these men is the readie waie vnto euerlasting life Moreouer there be the valiant Martyrs enriched with their proper blood and euerlastinglie blessed with Christ whose bodies though theie were most cruellie flean yet could not their soules by anie torments be seuered from Christ. Also there be the noble Confessors which contemned this present life that theie might be in heauen There be the great and glorious Doctors that were so carried aloft in contemplation of which many haue left a liuelie image of holines in their wrightings There be yong men and
as to be accepted into thine holie warfare Thou canst ô almightie and all mercifull God who hast of nothing created mee and foreseest the fall and infirmitie of man thou art able I saie and that thou wilt I beseech thee forgiue the sins which I haue committed supplie what I haue omitted restore what I haue lost heale what is sick cleanse what is vncleane lighten what is darke assuage that which swelleth inflame what is quenched repaire that is broken recouer that is neglected amende what is awrie make plaine what is rouged restraine what is curious call home that which wandereth place what is out of order yea and alter the whole state of my minde that nothing be wanting to my former purpose and let all occasion of euill worke for the best vnto mee I moste humblie desire thee This change is made by the right hand of God this is God his visitation this is the manifolde conference of the diuine goodnes In steede of all thankes accept the deuoute seruice of thine holie Church where-so-euer with the sweete praises of the whole courte of heauen And let all the sanctes from the beginning of the world which thorough thy grace haue bin enlightened and called yea and all the faithfull and Christian people which either be in the world or haue bin afore vs or shall liue hereafter let them I saie together celebrate and praise thy all sweete and glorious name which is aboue all names to be blessed Let them repeate againe and againe with greate ioie repeate all praises dulie and deseruedlie to be saide of thy name and that so manie times as there be either in the heauen stars or in the sea fishes or in the earth cornes or in the Bible letters And all this being doon yet must I saie theie haue not praised thy name sufficientlie the which I desire to commende euen to the vttermost of my strength and by all meanes to extoll vntill I attaine vnto those praises which now cannot be expressed by the voice of mortall men So that thou seest now my Soule the greatenes and the excellencie of God thy creator and redeemer his benefits the which no creature nor all creatures may recompense whome hee hath made vnto the praise and glorie of his eternall and blessed name who needeth no glorie but is alone all sufficient for himselfe hee that is what he is is his owne glorie The number of his benefits was so greate that I could not place them all before thine eies and therefore of a greate manie I choase three pretious giftes euen as the Wisemen did which were about to offer to the Lord wherein I thought good to comprehend the rest For euerie benefit of God if you marke well is either of nature or of grace or of superexcellencie and whatsoeuer else is maie fullie bee referred vnto one of these three kindes In the Creation you haue the benefit of nature in the Redemption the benefit of superexcellencie in our Iustification note the benefit of grace For all which and for euerie of them glorie be to thee ô sacred Trinitie one equall deitie both before all worldes nowe and for euermore Amen The ende of the fourth Booke A Table of the contents of euery Chapter conteined in this Booke ALonging of the Soule after God The incomprehensible maiestie of the Lord. An exhortation to the loue of God Chapter 1. Page 1 Of God his distinct iudgement at the ende of this world The cursed state of the vngodlie Chapter 2. Page 14 An humble confession of sinns with a Praier for grace to repent Chap. 3. Pag. 19 A lamentation of the Soule for her weakenesse and vnstaiednes in the race of virtue Chap. 4. Pag. 25 Of the shortnes and miserie of this present life A praier for grace to renounce the world and the vanities of the same Chap. 5. Pag. 30 An ardent desire of the Soule to be loosed from 〈◊〉 and from the trouâ—â—◠〈…〉 this world Chapter 6. 〈◊〉 37 A godlie desire for a good death Chap. 7. Pag. 44 A meditation of one dead vnto the world yet aliue in Christ. Chapter 8. Pag. 51 A desire of the Soule that no earthlie creature may carrie her awaie vnto vanitie Chap 9. Pag. 59. A comparison betweene earthlie and heauenlie ioies with a praier for grace to contemne this transitorie world Chap. 10. Pag 63 That all comfort and pleasures are in God A praier that all people maie glorifie the Lord. The blessed state of good men That we are to be readie against the comming of our Sauiour Christ. Chap. 11. Pag. 71 The desire of the Soule after God The properties of God by the sundrie titles ascribed vnto him None commeth vnto God vnlesse God draweth him Chap. 12. Pag 80 How and when the Soule and God are vnited together The miserie where God is not present Chap. 13. Page 92 A lamentation of the Soule for the want of grace Chapter 14. Page 101 Touching the fruite of freendship The benefits of Christ vpon man The true felicitie and ioie of the Soule The affinitie betweene Christ and the Soule of man Chapter 15. Page 107 The more wee loue Christ the more we maie Tentation and when Happines of the life to come How to beare affliction Chapter 16. Page 118 The maiestie and omnipotencie of God How and whie the Lord afflicteth his children Chapter 17. Page 133 The confidence of a true Christian. God iustifieth the vngodlie Giueth whatsoeuer good is to man Will haue no man to despeire but that all sinners should flie vnto his mercie Chap. 18. Pag. 147 The desire of a Christian Soule is neuer satisfied till God bee enioied No comfort anie whit comparable to the spirituall ioie Chapter 19. Page 156 A complaint of the Soule for the want of her blessed state What weeping pleaseth God Who trulie blessed A description of God Chap. 20. Page 162 The delaieng of the happie is patientlie to be borne The felicitie of the life to come with a praier for the same Chap. 21. Pag. 171 A godlie meditation concerning the accesse vnto the holie of holies euen Iesus Christ the king of angels godlie petitions for the forgiuenes of sins Chap. 22. Pag. 180 A godlie praier and commendation of our Sauior Christ. Chapter 23. Page 187 A Praier for comfort vnto Iesus Christ. Chap. 24. Pag. 194 That for God his benefits we are to thanke him Chap. 25. Pag. 202 FINIS ⧠AT LONDON Printed by Richarde Yardley and Peter Short dwelling at the nether ende of Bredstreete at the Signe of the Star 1592 a Psal 73 verse 28. b Psal. 73 28 c Luk. 18 19 d Math. 6 21 Coloss. 3 1. 2 e Phil. 4 7 f 1. Iohn 2 16 g Rom 8 35 36 c. 1. Cor 13 4 5 c. h Psa. 73 25 MAN SOVLE MAN i Psal. 26 8. SOVLE k Psal. 94 8 9 10 Psal 119 12 l Psal. 94 12 m Iam. 4 6 n Mat. 11. 25 o 1. Cor.
Soliloquium Animae The sole-talke of the Soule Or A spirituall and heauenlie Dialogue betwixt the Soule of Man and GOD. Which for the great affinitie it hath with other bookes of the Auctor published heeretofore in our natiue tongue is now entituled The fourth booke of the Imitation of Christ. Translated and corrected by THOMAS ROGERS Neuer before published ¶ At London Printed And are to be solde in the Royall Exchange at the Shop of Andrew Maunsell 1592. To the Christian Reader BEing much and earnestlie requested heere-vnto I haue published in our vulgar tongue another of Malleolus alià s Thom. de Kempis or Kempisius workes not that I confesse which of some well weening though not so well deeming persons was commended vnto mee I meane that in the old English translation and in some Latine copies too called The fourth Booke of the Imitation of Christe which in deede is altogether De sacramento altaris and so entitled but the next to that in Kempisius workes namelie the Soliloquium animae This I haue tearmed for the great affinitie it hath with the bookes of Kempisius by mee heeretofore diuulged The fourth booke of the Imitation of Christ. In the dooing whereof I haue as little as might bee varied froÌ„ the auctors words and phrazes and no where from the sense but where himselfe hath varied from the truth of God and I doubt not would haue redressed had hee liued in these daies of light as he did in the time of most palpable blindnes And this haue I doon with the greater alacritie because I finde and thou maist reade it also in the Auctors owne Preface that hee not onlie doubted that hee might vtter some things both fonde and offensiue but also wished to haue some godlie corrector of his faultes and praied vnto almightie God gratiouslie to reueale such thinges offensiue either vnto himselfe or vnto some other Whose godlie praier God hath heard and discouered those things for thy benefit and testification besides howe Kempisius the Auctor howsoeuer liuing in a Popish time was yet in hart no Papist but would like well of that which is doon as I trust thou wilt whose aedifieng and spirituall comforting I haue onlie aimed at And reaping this comfort to thy soule by the reading or hearing of this treatise bee thankefull vnto thy God that giueth thee some taste of the caelestiall ioies in this miserable and all-trooblesome world to whose gratious protection I doo most humblie commend thee and my selfe The Aucthors Preface I Haue gathered together into a little booke for my comfort sake certaine deuoute sentences the better so to commit them to memorie I haue also disposed them as into a plesant orchard set out with all sorts of trees and bewtified with al varieties of goodlie flowres where-into I might now and then enter both for to chuse and behold at my neede such matter as my hart desires for the refreshing of the minde grieued at anie time and ouerwhelmed with pensiuenes Now the more cleerlie and readilie to finde vnder which arbor I might repose my selfe or which floure were best to be culled out I haue made the heads of euery Chapter to glitter as it were with red titles I haue likewise with varietie of words as nowe talking nowe reasoning praieng nowe nowe conferring now in mine owne now in another mans person bewreathed about the text with a sweete and delightsome stile Wherefore I entreate them whosoeuer shall reade it first that they be not moued with indignation at that which the writer hath doon for it was his minde wholie to talke with his God Next that theie wil pardon the imperfectioÌ„ and plainnes of the stile considering that God is more delighted with words that be simple and pure than with those that be artificiall And if happelie the sense in anie place appeare either not sounde or not cleere enough my desire is to haue a godlie corrector of the same telling him withall that what fonde matter soeuer he shall espie it hath escaped from me not of purpose but rather for that I was not heedie enough in marking what I writ Moreouer forasmuch as man in that iudgement of his which is most probable maie be deceaued vnto thee ô God almightie and father of lightes doo I thine humble disciple make recourse and this Sole-talke of mine doo present before thy diuine Maiestie to the ende that thou maist both approue the things well said and disproue what is doon amisse and insinuate also either into my selfe or some other faithfull seruaut of thine more rightlie to obserue whatsoeuer things are offensiue My request is also holie Father that I thy poore seruant may obtaine at thy hands both time and space to abide in the all plentifull pastures of the Scriptures which be and shall be my chiefest comfort vntill that daie of aeternitie appeere and the shadowe of mortalitie doo decline awaie And therefore withdrawe thou fro me all vnprofitable cares worldlie desires hurtfull affections and what else may hinder mee fro my desired leisure For he must haue a free minde and a quiet that would meditate of hidden and heauenlie matters Wherefore that I maie be worthie to attaine my sute vouchsafe thou my God to endue and fill me with the grace of thine heauenlie ioie that I maie speake to thy glorie and to some comfort of my owne soule The fourth Booke of the Imitation of Christ. CHAPTER 1. 1. A longing of the soule after God 2. The incomprehensible maiestie of the Lord. 3. An exhortation to the loue of God SOVLE AS for mee it is good to drawe neere vnto God O short and ô sweete saieng embracing God and abandoning the vniuersall world What more can be said And what more-ouer is to be desired Would it not suffice if that were performed which now is spoken And were other yea many other things vttered should not all in the end be reduced vnto this one thing Therefore my soule saie thou with the Prophet As for mee it is good to drawe neere vnto God O my God thou art mine onlie felicitie thou alone art good and sweet vnto mee To speake of thee it delighteth the louer to thinke of thee it liketh the religious whose hart is not fixed vpon the world but hidden with thee in the heauens to the end that both thou alone maiest be his true peace and inmost ioie and he not vexed dailie in this world where false concupiscence doth prouoke vnto sin O my God how is hee affected which is inflamed with thy loue How doth hee reioice that hath no pleasure in anie vaine creature Are not these the words of such a man in that Psalme whereout the beginning of my speech was taken euen these his words Whome haue Iâ—in heauen but thee and I haue desired none in the earth with thee MAN O holie soule ô zealous soule so longing after God! What is that I heare what is that thou saiest Are the
molested thy seruants struken with an horrible feare Then shall they vtterlie bee confounded which laying a good conscience and honestie aside gaue themselues to vanitie and wantonnes They shal suffer punishment then which haue loosed the bridle vnto the flesh Then shall they roare towardes heauen which now are cunning in vaine musick and daunces Then shall that bee turned into moorning which hath bin contracted by inordinate pleasure They shall be bound vp in bundles together to be burned then which haue bin companions together at dronkennes and bellie-cheere And whome loue hath bound in wickednes the reuenging fire shall roule together in torments O yee foolish and wretched ô yee frantike and blinde louers of the world what doo yee what is your meaning how will yee escape the vengeance of the Lord Why for a little pleasure which you doo loue doo yee hasten vnto euerlasting torments Whie feare yee not hell which doo so feare a little penance And you which flie the death of the flesh whie aforehand doo yee not take heed of the eternall death of the soule Vnlesse therefore yee doo conuert and repent yee shall neuer escape these horrible and firie torments of Gods displeasure When I consider the daie and houre of the generall iudgement my bones doo shake for feare because entreatie then shall not turne awaie the wrath of God but hee will be a righteous iudge to all O God most holie mightie and mercifull Sauiour saue mee from that bitter death and giue mee grace to repent that I may vnfeinedlie bewaile my sinnes before I departe our of this present world ⸫ CHAP. 3. 1. An humble confession of sins 2. with a Praier for grace to repent MY sorowe is euer before mee O my God foulie haue I spotted my life with manifold sinnes but Lord behold my teares which I shead before thee because I haue so much offended thine holines For I know that in mee that is in my flesh dwelleth no good thing and that so long as I carrie about a mortall bodie I am not free from wickednes I therefore doo sinne and offend daie by daie and which is more lamentable I suffer manie sinnes to passe awaie without sorow and due repentance For being busie most commonlie and encombred with affaires of the world and vane curiousnes I am not able so speedelie to returne vnto wholesome teares Whereof it is that the darkenes of sinne doth encrease so mightelie against mee the which both stop vp the fountaines of grace hinder the streames of heauenlie comfort from comming vnto mee LORD And is that a small offence SOVLE No my God it is a great sinne and so much the greater as it passeth the sooner from the heart and doth not prick mee with sorrowe But Lord wilt thou not regard this my wicked dealing How long shall I delude thee and thus deceiue my selfe Wilt thou alwaie be silent where is thy rod where is thy spur where is thy wand O Lorde why doost thou withdrawe thy iudgement and the paines of hell fro mine eies Were these things alwaies in my remembrance could I bee so retchlesse Thy silence and patience is for mine amendment but if I still bee negligent wilt thou not then punish mee seuerelie Surelie thou wilt punish mee if not in this world yet in the world to come For nothing shall passe awaie vnreuenged neither small neither great offence But much better heere in this world where both weeping is profitable the paine is short the satisfaction more accepted and reconcilement sooner had And therefore spare not the rod but with a sharpe water annoint mine eies and reserue not my sinnes vntill the time to come least then I bee deliuered vnto the tormenters vntill I haue paide the vtmost farthing Better is it nowe a little for my profit to be pricked than hereafter to feele the bitter paines of hell fire Wherefore I am to mourne and to conceaue a great sorowe for my sinnes For manie things I haue to bewaile but no cause at all to laugh The darkenesse of mine hart the slipperines of my conscience my proanesse vnto wickednes my want of grace doo wish mee yea rather of necessitie doo enforce mee to weepe and to lament Furthermore the remembrance of manifold temptations and of assaults to sinne should make me haue little lust to be merrie Spare mee ô Lord spare mee For though I weepe beeing touched inwardlie with sorow it is no maruell because the time is now to weepe O happie is the houre when I conceaue sorow for my sinnes Blessed are the teares which doo flowe from the griefe of heart at the consideration of the foulenes of a guiltie conscience And who is able to sound the bottom of this depth and to reprooue the hidden filthines without feeling O my God the true light thou canst lighten all the obscure places of mine heart yea and burne vp all the spots thereof in the spirit of heate and iudgement It is in thee to giue a newe heart to create a new spirit and there to prepare a secret habitation that it may bee a place for thee to rest in and a tabernacle of thy name which art the louer of cleanes and the ghest of the good conscience But forsomuch as willinglie thou doost not visit a disordered house but commonlie leauest the same to bee illuded with beastlie affections I am the more carefull least that betide mee But helpe mee ô mercifull and gratious God to repare the ruins of this mine house Woe to him from whome thou departest awaie offended But peace to him vnto whome thou descendest and with whome thou abidest I miserable wretch now placed in the middes of snares and loaden with the shacles of wickednes what counsell is best for mee or what remedie to be vsed but onelie to lift vp mine heauie eies vnto thee that my crie may be heard in the heauens For a polluted conscience shall neuer finde or haue a better medicine than bitterlie to slaie it selfe in praier And how can extreeme tentation more profitablie bee cured that it preuaile not than by powring continuall petitions vnto thee and by humbling our selues But who can giue mee these blessings I meane to praie and to weepe as I ought to doo Where may I attaine that humilitie and abundance of teares Doubtlesse of thee Lord with whome is mercie and great redemption O Lord my God the giuer of all grace grant that I maie as I am bound bewaile mine offenses seeme they neuer so small and to amend all without vaine excuses aswell those offences which are secret as those that are well knowen Let this mine hartie repentance get mee thy fauor againe and prepare vnto well doing and to that which tendeth vnto saluation CHAP. 4. 1. A lamentation of the soule for her weakenesse and vnstaiednes in the race of virtue THine eies did see mee when I was without forme O Lord my GOD
drunke thereof the sharper shall his torments bee because the whole pleasure of this world shall more speedelie passe awaie than the winde and leaue to their louers paines and burnings Therefore out of my sight thou deceiptfull glorie of the world and all foolish pleasure of the flesh Manie you doo drawe and deceiue but in the ende you leaue and destroie them Woe to them which beleeue thee woe to them which be there drowned But come and come nigh mee most holie humilitie and the full renouncing of all worldlie pompes and neuer doo thou leaue mee ô thou sweete remembrance of my present pilgrimage What am I but ashes and earth and whether tende I but towardes earth Oah how wretched am I become how iustlie maie I lament when I thinke vpon my pilgrimage and how little I am priuie how I shall ende the same If I liue well and continue so there is no cause whie I should feare an euill death But who can glorie of a good life and of a pure conscience Hee which knoweth himselfe to be such a one let him reioice in the Lord and take compassion vpon mee a sinner To liue I haue no desire because miserie enuironeth mee on euerie side to die an euill conscience is affraide for to answeare God it hath not one for a thousand The Prophet was not so in a feare which said Mine heart is prepared ô God mine heart is prepared O Lord the God of my saluation let my life come vnto a good ende and prolong not the daies of my lamentation With sorowe I came into this prison and without griefe I shall not get out S. Long doo I thinke this life and the rather because of the continuall miserie and troubles which I finde therein but in truth it is not long for it passeth awaie more swiftlie than a Poste To a man that liueth in paine and miserie all time is long and hee compteth a daie for a yeere This maketh my life tedious vnto mee and so much the more it dooth trouble mee as the more trulie I consider all the miseries of the same But if happelie anie consolations and ioie come betweene it standeth mee vpon to looke about whether they bee of God or no If they beâ— of God I accept them gladlie but yet I knowe not how long they will continue yet howe shorte soeuer they bee they like and please mee well But would to God hee would powre them largelie vpon mee and cause them to continue with mee a long while But the ioies and pleasures which are not of God are vile and vading albe to the showe they appeare sweete and pleasant Thus euen thus passeth awaie this life replenished continuallie both with good and euill things Therefore so long as I liue in this world I am a poore pilgrime I cannot trulie saie I haue enough because presentlie there is saâ—ietie of no good thing but the good thing which I looke for thou art in whome I beleeue So that when thy glorie hath appeared and replenished mee then euen then I will acknowledge that I haue enough But in the meane while because this word is hidden fro mee much griefe and sorowe dooth enuiron my soule And therefore beeing mindfull of thine holie saieng I repeate this often-times My soule is verie heauie euen vnto the death Well were it with mee if this houre were come and that neither griefe nor sorowe did possesse mee But Lord I beseech thee let thy goodnes conserue mee CHAP. 6. 1. An ardent desire of the soule to bee loosed from sinne and from the troubles of this world BRing my soule out of prison The greatnes of my sorowe will not suffer mee to bee still For whie doo I yet liue in this world I knowe not what I can doo heere Slowlie God hee knoweth I go forward in virtue naie would to God I went not backward O Lord what a pleasure shouldest thou doo mee if speedelie thou wouldest take mee out of this life that a woorser thing come not vnto mee My life alas sigheth in paine and in weldoing amendeth not If thou looke for my conuersion I repent not by the same but doo abuse thy long sufâ—ering if thou punish mee I doo â—ardlie show patience because thou pursuest drie stuble Whie then doost thou not quite take awaie thy seruant Whie doo I liue vpon the earth that is whie doo I dwell among good people and yet reforme not my life and manners Whie so vnwoorthelie and dangerouslie keepe I the place of some better person and yet walke so careleslie and so coldlie in this life Thus powre I out this wofull thing which I consider of in the eares of my God Yet gratious Lord crie not out in thine anger against me Cut downe the tree and cast it into the fire I accuse mine infirmitie before thee that I maie finde grace in thy sight through my confession It is my part to accuse but it belongeth vnto thee to show mercie It is my part to weepe and to sigh bitterlie but it belongeth vnto thee Lord mercifullie to comfort Wherefore my Lord and God either giue mee more grace in this life or take me speedelie out of this world that the rent bee not woorser For to liue long and not to cesse from ill liuing is but to augment the punishment of hell Neither can I awaie with such a life as knoweth neither how to proceede in virtue nor to bewaile wickednes For that partie which leadeth an holie and righteous life is greeued at the heart whensoeuer hee offendeth and that he maie in grace and virtue encrease more and more it is alwaies his desire What shall hee doo which knoweth himselfe dailie to offend and that his flesh greeuouslie dooth rise against the spirit who also beeing ouercome with tediousnes sometime and cooled with negligence and idlenesse dooth giue ouer to resist or else laieng aside the spirituall weapons dooth folow the swing of the flesh whether his owne wil dooth drawe him Alas Lord and God such a one alas draweth nigh vnto the gates of death and liuing in the flesh runneth into the death of the soule Oah how is euerie one to take heede that hee bee not seduced and supplanted of the enimie No man is suâ— from temptation no man is pure from sinne but all the sort of vs are fraile But Lord thou which art almightie and knowest all things raise vp the broken in heart and clense the vncleane from all filthines renue a new spirit within his bowels that all faintnes and lazenes may leaue him that spirituall zeale may returne and that thy loue may continue vnmooueable within him vnto the ende For he onlie wanteth thine assistance who is peâ—sed downe with his owne waight neither is hee able to cast off the loade of sinne vntill thou sende strength from heauen of power to loase the hard fetters
of carnall affections And this my request is to obteine for without thy speciall grace wee shall neither leade a good life in this world nor liue eternalie in the life to come And whereas I now liue in the bodie it is no ioie to mee for better it were for mee to die than to liue because through this life I am debarred the farder from eternall life which cannot come vnlesse that death doo destroie the life present yea and death also it selfe bee destroied Hence it is that my desire is to heauen-ward and mine heart seeking eternall rest fetcheth deepe sighes and crieth It is now enough Lord take awaie my soule which thou hast redeemed with thy pretious blood Open to mee the gate of thy kingdome and let in a poore pilgrime returning vnto thee from exile Listen to mee Lord and loase me from the band of the bodie What should I longer doo heere I am good neither to my selfe nor to others Whie then doo I liue To my selfe I am burdensome to others troblesome What shall become of mee I wot not Lord whether thou hast foreseene anie better thing of me wherefore my longing should bee lingred I doo allow thine ordinance because it is good but in mee onlie I finde the euill whie it greeueth and troobleth mee to liue in the world For dailie I doo sinne I heape sinne vpon sinne and yet as I ought I repent not If therefore I were loased from this bodie of sinne and coopled to thee in heauen neither should I offend anie more nor thou bee offended but be praised continuallie Notwithstanding as yet thou bearest with mee and showest all patience I know my fault because through my sinnes I maie not enter into thy kingdome For none vncleane thing shall enter thereinto But when shall I be without sinne When shall I throughlie be cleansed that I maie not feare to bee prohibited but reioice rather to bee let in If I goe not forward more zealouslie nor bee more carefull than hetherto I haue bin I am affraide mine hope will be little enough But Lord thou which wilt that no man should perish but that all should bee saued grant mee more grace to the amendment of my life and to hope for celestiall blessings giue mee the spirit of inward fatnes Let not mine heart heere reioice after the flesh but in fearing let it expect for death Let no care or creature hold mee back but let thy desired presence drawe and comfort mee Blessed is the man which trusteth in thee ô Lord but more blessed is hee that is passed out of this wicked world for he shall no more either feele or feare anie trooble ⸪ CHAP. 7. 1. A godlie desire for a good death O Lord thou art mine hope euen fro my youth In this hope I flie vnto thee vntill the last houre and time of my resolution shall come Oah that I were so well prepared that I might euen now die vnder the hope of grace Oah that I had ended this life with an happie departure and laide off the loade of this bodie how manie dangers and feares had I then escaped Happie is the man whome thou hast chosen and taken vp who is now gone out of this world vnto the father from banishment vnto a kingdome from the prison vnto the palace from darkenes vnto light from death vnto life vnto securitie from dangers from labor vnto rest and from all manner miseries vnto euerlasting felicitie Happie is the soule that now enioieth her reward triumphing in thee her Lord But alas that my contrie is so long kept fro mee How gratiouslie and mercifullie shouldest thou deale with mee if quicklie I were called awaie and bidden to come vnto thee that where thou art I might be also Oah that I had bin taken out of this world before euer I had knowen the filthines of the same and before I was affraide to offend euen in small things how happie then had I bin But now the longer heere I liue the more I wander from thee and doo sinne in too too manie things Wo is mee what haue I doone Alas I haue folowed the desires of the flesh and haue drawen vanitie to my selfe with roapes but godlines I haue abandoned abhorred innocencie and added sinne vnto sinne so that now to my griefe I finde that true which I haue sometime read Woe be to the wicked it shall be euill with him Too too late almost I haue returned vnto my God yea verie late it was eare I began to amend and then too but slowlie went I on I was not zealous enough in my proceeding I did not encrease in zeale but which is woorser I waxed cooler and cooler Hence it was that manie times I was verie loath to die because my guiltie conscience still tolde mee I had not liued as I should haue doone Notwithstanding in consideration of the dangerous temptations wherevnto I am subiect and that my sinnes might not encrease manie a time haue I wished for death and into these woordes haue I burst sayeng Oah that now God in mercie would take mee out of this world that I might sinne no more vpon earth Oh that God speedelie would vouchsafe to take mee awaie and make an ende of my labors in what an happie state should I then bee But Lord all things must bee euen as thou wilt If thou minde to doo that which I require it shall forth-with bee accomplished but if otherwise thy will bee doon I maie vtter out my desire and the miserie which I endure not as to him which is ignorant thereof but that thereby I may finde some comfort to my soule I knowe I am not yet readie as I ought to bee for my conscience is greatlie out of quiet And what maruell though I a sinner doo stand in feare seeing manie euen of the holie fathers were affraide because thou iudgest not as man dooth But how shall I prepare my selfe It were good for mee to prepare my selfe against that time which may come this daie before to morow for anie thing I knowe Therefore I will more firmelie alter my purpose I will bewaile all my negligences passed I will sacrifice my selfe to thee and wholie and henceforth commend my selfe vnto thy mercie ô Lord. O Lord my God all my works doo stand at thy mercie and without thy mercie I haue no merits And this is mine hope this is all my trust But how fareth it with a good and pure conscience What saith the chaste and deuoute soule Come saith she Lord Iesus ô come and tarie not vntie my sinnes loase my fetters bring me out of prison out of the lake of miserie and mirie claie I haue waited patientlie for thee ô Lord incline to mee and heare my crie Leaue mee not anie longer in this wicked world Let it content thee that hetherto I haue striuen that so long I haue bin
assented to vanitie and so quicklie forsaken thee which art the truth Oah how greatlie haue I sinned euen in this that I haue not sticken to thee alone neglecting all things else For I was made to loue and to enioie thee but by following after creatures inordinatelie I haue lost thee and found no rest for mine hart in them neither But turne mee vnto thee ô Lord and leaue me not in earthlie things thou which hast vouchsafed to promise celestiall things to such as folowe thee CHAP. 10. 1. A comparison betweene earthlie and heauenlie ioies 2. with a praier for grace to contemne this transitorie world MY soule hath refused comfort Wander thou not after deceiptfull vanities madnes ô my soule but turne vnto the Lord thy God for hee is the fountaine of all comfort Whatsoeuer thou seekest either among men or among creatures thou shalt leese it and shalt well perceaue it to perish For though I graunt theie maie yeeld some showe of comfort yet sure I am nothing dooth continue Whie so vanelie wilt thou bee deceaued It is egregious follie to beg of a begger when he that is rich will giue abundantlie Euerie creature is but poore to minister comfort vnto vs but God which is rich in mercie giueth to all men liberallie and reprocheth no man if thou for thy part diligentlie doo seeke and patientlie expect his leisure Returne ô my Soule returne downe vnto Noah in the arke euen vnto Christ in thine heart because it is not good to abide long abroade See thou refuse outward comfort if inwardlie thou wilt be refreshed Doo not thou with the crowe abide without the arke but with speede auoide the carcase Returne thou an hungred and Christ so will feede thee with the bread of life If vrgent necessitie or weakenes hold thee abroade take heed thou make no staie but with speede get thee home least thou be either ouerwhelmed with the flud of words or comprehended in the snares of diuelish tentation Manie traps are laid for the wandering soule and great safetie hath the quick returning dooue which not finding where to set her foote made haste to come back vnto Noah in the ship Go thou therefore vnto thy secret place and abide there yea let it bee a griefe for thee to bee else-where Oah blessed is the soule which hath a cleare conscience before God and is not delighted with anie vane thing which is neither polluted with louing anie thing nor wearied with extremelie hating anie man Blessed is the soule that seeketh no comfort of creatures but fixeth all her hope in the Lord Blessed is the soule which refuseth all outward and temporall quietnes and whatsoeuer belongeth vnto the welfare of the bodie and which for the loue of Christ dooth willinglie embrace both paine and pouertie Blessed is the soule which commendeth her selfe to God that hee maie doo with her euen as hee thinketh good Blessed is the soule which at no time seeketh her owne glorie which desireth at no time to haue her owne will doon but continuallie mindeth loueth and preferreth the glorie and will of God aboue all things Blessed is the soule which dooth esâ—ange her selfe from whatsoeuer is temporall and keepeth her selfe pure and vndefiled before God in all her dealings O reioice and be thou much glad thou which art such a soule for thou maist abide in secret and celestiall cogitations and so magnifie the Lord daie and night Blessed and blessed againe is the soule whose desires are to heauen-ward whose hands and armes are out-stretched euen as the two wings of the Cherubims whose eies are pure to behold God whose inward power and strength dooth goe altogether and ascend and returneth not vntill it haue him whome onlie she loueth before all things And when she hath found him she foloweth him whether soeuer hee will haue her And when he speaketh he reioiceth to heare her make answere saieng I am thine onlie beloued of thee elected I am thine exceeding great reward Bee thou neither proude in prosperitie nor impatient in aduersitie Consider how theie which loue mee are comforted of mee How sweetelie thinkest thou I will entreate them when theie shall be receaued vnto the eternall rest after that the troobles of the bodie and soule are laide aside Oah that I enioied such pleasure as dooth the holie soule when the senses beeing asleepe shee is carried aloft and eleuated aboue her selfe beloued and coopled to God by the bonde of most hartie frendship O my God which art the treasure of mine heart thou knowest right well how this would bee the onlie comfort of mine inward griefe But thou art the geuer and the pourer in of this ointment Thou teachest thou exhortest thou cherishest thou comfortest thou carriest thou vpholdest thou guidest out and bringest back thou doost with the soule whome thou hast chosen euen as thou wilt and whatsoeuer thou doost and wilt it is all good But I who am as a sowre vessell altogether vnworthie to receaue th'infusion of thy good spirit doo humblie craue that plentifullie it maie so spout forth vpon mee that I maie both taste the sweetenes of thine inward loue and also perceaue those sacred pleasures the which I doubt not the religious soule dooth feele by thy grace I did smell the celestiall perfumes a far off when I did meditate certaine inward cogitations of the minde concerning the soule but Lord thou knowest how sildome how litle I doo thinke of eternall things how often words doo wither how rude the vnderstanding how vnquiet the conscience how my hart is troobled darkened and irreligious and onlie through mine owne default Notwithstanding sometime seeking a waie vnto spirituall matters hauing taken my cogitations with mee in secret I begin seriouslie to call into my remembrance the good things of the blessed soule how great are the celestiall ioies and spirituall delightes which are in her heart what peace what tranquilitie what hope and reioicing in God her Sauiour whose words be sweete and face bewtifull And these cogitations though short theie endure yet when theie come blessed is the houre And I thus thinking and thou enlightening my darkenes I doo finde iust complaints vpon my selfe and by priuie holes of grace I perceaue how such and such is the soule inwardlie vnited vnto thee and thaâ— so and so thou hast spoken to her She is still from all things sensible and thou in the spirit speakest to her of inuisible matters She seemeth as it were to be forsaken of all creatures and after an vnspeakeable manner thou doost comfort her So that I said againe in mine hart wo to the sinfull soule to the grieued conscience to the man which is neither hote nor colde destitute of the light of grace and of spirituall comfort seeking teares and yet finding none But peace be to him which vnfeinedlie dooth loue Christ
thou often takest thy flight For thou departest suddenlie out of her hands when she cannot laie holde vpon thee I doo praise thee but in this how shall I praise thee If thou hast anie praise and sweetenes whie doo you seeme to forgoe it in this deed If thou wert not she might be offended But she can take none offence at thee who so mightelie doost loue her If therefore anie good reason be signified vnder that lesson ô God showe it mee For gladlie would I vnderstand the same neither do I thinke it vnnecessarie to learne though it be but little Because no man of himselfe can behold thy secret iudgements but it is thy light which dooth both inlighten darke and driue awaie hurtfull things What therefore may the cause be that sometime so secretlie you withdrawe your selfe from the soule she not witting thereof Doo you loue her or no If you doo loue her then whie do you leaue her my beloued If you loue her not whie then haue you visited her before time Againe if you loue her not whie doo you make returne whie knock you at the doore whie enter you in againe What is it of lightnes that you doo so both go and returne God forbid But so often change dooth not a little greeue her yea much it dooth disquiet her Yet the griefe would be the lesser if thou wouldest saie plainlie I doo goe and will come vnto you your harts shall reioice and your ioie no man shall take from you But now you cast out neuer a by-word onlie she thinketh vpon that speech which she well perceaueth to be performed in her selfe how Iesus hid himselfe and went out of the Temple A fewe things I haue against you but my complaint dooth spring out of a good roote I humblie request to be instructed I loue not to contend And therefore when occasion serueth make answere I beseech you Also let the godlie soule saie for her selfe somewhat for her learning Likewise make you answere boldlie when your part requireth O my soule answere thou thy beloued boldlie For thy freend will patientlie heare and meete thee with milde words that you maie suffer none hinderance For if hee bee not thy comforter who will comfort thee And who more fauorablie will beare thine infirmitie than hee which beareth all things and yet is not burdened And to whome more safelie can you reueale your miserie than to him which perfectlie knoweth all things Or in whome maie you put more confidence than in the truth which deceaueth not Now if anie stranger or one that is not a freend to the spouse shall heare these things let him be driuen from the doores But if hee loue the spouse if he be faithfull if deuoute and spirituall let him haue free ingresse If hee bee a keeper of a good conscience a louer of virtue and discipline if hee bee pure in hart and cleere in iudgement if humble in himselfe and good towards others if he can neither wickedlie carpe at vanelie extoll rashlie reprooue impudentlie maintane nor proudlie commend things but contrariwise if he haue learned both the things which hee conceaueth not to reuerence and also rightlie to interpret obscure and mysticall matters let him haue entrance and heare the communication For the affection of the hart through the sound of words ought to be noted rather than the qualitie of voices And therefore tell me ô soule how doost thou feele thy selfe wanting now the grace of thy beloued I for my part doo see that hardlie I can take it well if he keepe himselfe long awaie and I conceiue the like of you If you thinke good let vs sit heere together and confer we heereof to our comfort CHAP. 14. 1. A lamentation of the soule for the want of grace MIne hart breaketh for desire What is it thou saiest Why saiest thou Zion the Lord hath forsaken mee Feare not daughter Zion thou louing and religious soule lo thy king and welbeloued freend commeth to thee Arise stand vp and beholde the ioie which commeth toward thee from thy God S. I haue sought saith the soule and haue not found I haue called and he hath not answered and therefore I doo breake for thought M. Then said I this is the voice of the Turtle hauing lost her mate It is not now with you as it was yesterdaie and earewhile when you sang the songs of mirth S. The morning is past night commeth and the spouse resteth himselfe at noone tide yet maie I not come nigh him M. Your woords are sorowfull and your eies shed teares O soule thou art grieued and hast neede of comfort But speake whence commeth your griefe S. I am not troubled either for gold or siluer or anie worldlie matter neither for lucre nor for hurt neither for iniurie nor for pouertie for I am now dead and crucified to the world M. If I bee not deceaued long since you renounced the world But whether in all things perfectlie you haue denied the same and art come euen into a verie hatred of your selfe I would faine knowe S. Verie fewe haue that gift and it is especiallie looked for at your hands M. Whie therefore are you so pensiue What haue you forgon If it be for your freend his sake I must needs confesse you doo well to be sad neither should you take delight in anie thing vntill he returne and visit you againe But in the meane while how doo you susteine your selfe vpon the beloued ô sweete soule And sure I am hee is not alwaie present at a wish Therefore while he is absent what comfort haue you wherein doo you take delight Tell me your secrets be theie neuer so grieuous That you beare the absence of Christ heauilie no man doubteth but he onlie that loueth not Now you are sad I take it not for this world but for the spouse Christ. And I knowe full well that when hee shall returne you will be merrie againe because hee will not alwaies forget you For he hath said I will not leaue you comfortlesse but I will come to you Therefore your wordes are not vane being vttered with such griefe but theie declare a louing hart and strike the cold affection which is not inflamed with the loue of Christ. For your voice is the voice of a Turtle not the crieng of a murmurer And therefore I trust you shall finde him whose losse you so lament Notwithstanding I demaund What saie you of him whose absence you doo so bewaile Is he good or no S. Doubtlesse hee is good and singularlie good too righteous and faithfull in him there is no wickednes neither can be M. Whie therefore lament you for the good in whome is no deceipt S. I weepe not for the good in respect that hee is good but I lament mine owne miserable condition because I haue lost a good and a faithfull freend I euen I haue deserued this but alas alas that I kept not his fauor
not holde it But if you could not hold it confesse that you receaued it from aboue And therefore ascribe all the honor to the mercie of God and openlie confesse how without mee you can doo nothing Consider both in what steede I stand you and how able also I am to confirme you in all goodnes Where were you before I called you but weltering in sin and wickednes And now how would you wander if I directed you not Yea and when also went it well with you if you had not my fauor S. And I said At no time sweete Lord. Thou alone art my singular good freend in all things and aboue all most faithfull L. Whie then did you purpose so wickedlie with your selfe to go after strange louer What misliked you in mee was it either my maiestie or my bewtie S. Ah Lord there is none comparable to thee either for bewtie or for glorie or for riches or for auctoritie neither in heauen nor in earth is anie like vnto thee For thou onlie art most hie ouer all creatures The heauens are thine the earth also is thine thou hast laide the foundation of the world and all that therein is Much it is that thou hast imparted vpon thy creatures by which thy bewtie wisedome and goodnes doth appeere but yet in comparison of thy blessed and glorious presence it is nothing So that by experience I haue learned now that I cannot lack thy companie one houre together but with much griefe to my soule L. Returne therefore vnto mee thou hast hetherto wandered enough about Let not hence-forth to be more staied and milde and faithfull yea and to trust in mee not onlie in the daie of my gratious visitation but much more in the night of tentation I haue let you slip that beeing wearied you might returne vnto mee the more speedelie and beeing frustrate of outward comfort at length vnderstand how much you are bound vnto mee that so often haue called vnto you And therefore liften now at the last for it is not without cause that sometime you are forsaken that you are cold sometime in zeale that it irketh you that you are ouer-wearied with tentations that on all sides you are afflicted that you can neither finde anie counsaile nor feele comfort but are enforced to endure anguish and miserie at all times and in all places I am absent to the end you may knowe how needfull it is that I bee present with you not onlie in one matter or in a speciall cause but in euerie action in all places and times so well earlie as late wheresoeuer you shall become goe or stand For this will teach you to walke warelie with your freend to absteine from vanities and to take heede of offenses I doo leaue you that you maie well vnderstand how much you are bound to loue mee that is that you maie see a manner how to loue mee in deede It is verie true you thought your selfe more stout and happie than in truth you were but when I did once withdraw mine aide from you a litle it then appeered to the world how you were verie poore and miserable How shall your loue be knowen vnlesse you beare my yoake with patience Sometime I see you to waxe sluggish and therefore I doo hide my selfe for an houre like a freend standing behinde the wall that you maie be stirred vp the more zelouslie to seeke mee I knowe for my part and I see all things but troublous trials which are good for manie causes doo make you the more heedie and wise in all your actions Moreouer if you loue mee you will not waxe the more sluggish in seeking mee for all this if you like mee you will seeke mee What Wot you not how riches painfullie come by are kept most carefullie Who so wisheth rest as the wearied man Who loueth so kindlie as hee which hath sighed most heauelie And is not that iewell which was lost and is found againe much more esteemed than before it was So euen so is the ioie duble and the mirth dubled at the long wished presence of the beloued And therefore it is much for your profit that I withdrawe my selfe because I doo it not for anie ill will to you-wards but vpon verie good cause so do I dallie with my freends Let it suffice you at this time that you haue bin in my fauor to heare so much at my mouth Besides when you haue neede returne vnto mee and feare not For I neuer shut mine eares against that person which humblie and earnestlie crieth for mine assistance CHAP. 18. 1. The confidence of a true Christian 2. God iustifieth the vngodlie 3. giueth whatsoeuer good is to man 4. will haue no man to despeire 5. but that all sinners should flie vnto his mercie MY Lord God will helpe mee therefore shall I not be confounded S. Let it grieue no bodie though I loue much to speake with my Lord God whose goodnes hath allured and inflamed mee both to praie and to meditate in such sort that me thinks I should be too hard and vnkinde if I made none answere vnto his woords But happelie some one will saie against mee Therefore neither doo you feare God seeing you are a foule sinner vnworthie euen to liue in this world Whence is it that you dare so presume in your hart And being the least and vilest of all others with what face can you thrust forth your selfe so to talke with your Lord God Whome doo you make your selfe Oah my louing Lord doo thou answere on my behalfe For the mouth of the wicked is opened vpon mee If I would iustifie my selfe mine owne mouth shall condemne mee And though I were cleane yet did not my soule knowe so much Oah Lord thou knowest my follie and my shamefastnes Speake thou on my behalfe and I full gladlie will keepe silence L. Giue thou none heede to the woords of the wicked but rather doo thou remember how I haue saide I came not to call the righteous but the sinners vnto repentance Am not I to doo what I will Who maie resist my pleasure If I thinke it good to showe fauor to thee-ward though little thou deserue the same at mine hands who shall reprooue me therefore Hee that is without sin let him throwe the first stone at thee But if theie all the pack of them are sinners with what face can theie finde fault with my fauor to thee-ward You haue not chosen mee but my mercie did preuent you Dareth anie yet murmure against you for comming vnto me Comfort thy selfe his murmure is not against thee but flatlie against my person because it is I that receaue and â—eate with sinners And whie ought you not to chaâ—enge mine acquaintance the which 〈◊〉 reioice to offer rather than to withdrawe from anie one S. Oah gratious Lord laie not this â—in to their charge but to mee and to
mine hart bee acceptable in thy sight What can bee more comfortable What more ioiefull to the faithfull Soule than still deuoutlie to meditate vpon her Lord God that whome she cannot as yet behold in a cleere and blessed sight at the least she maie as it were make him present by earnest calling him into minde Therefore let her behold him as in a glasse darkelie whome she is not to see face vnto face And albe she maie not haue a full sight of him in his maiestie yet let her search for him by types in the Scriptures Oah that the care to seeke the face of the Lord did neuer waxe cold within me but dailie more and more encreased Howbeit the soule that loueth God hath a wonderfull desire to enioie the sight of God For to see him is happines in deed and the absolute felicitie Wherefore she desireth this blessednes that her whole appetite hauing attained her ende she maie be satisfied and at quiet for nothing in the world is able to content her For long experience hath taught her that the more she estraieth from celestiall happines the more vnhappie and vnquiet she is in asmuch as in this world nothing is permanent or durable that maie assuage the heate of her affection So then let her make returne vnto him that made her and let her desire to be blessed of him who at the firste created her For doubtlesse he that made the soule must satisfice the soule with good things Because such a desire hath he instilled into her that hee beeing gon nothing will content her nor anie ioie comfort her greatlie And therefore soule of mine stand not heere still for this is no place of rest for thee but mount aloft ascende vnto him that made thee For he hath now sent his messengers and biddeth thee to ascend So manie desires of eternall life as he inspireth so manie messengers he dooth sende Which beeing entertained prepare thy selfe to the iornie Then goest thou on when thou desirest to see him when thou laborest to please him when thou renouncest this world when thou doost whatsoeuer thou doost euen of pure loue to him-ward For had he not first sought thee and powred holie cogitations into thy brest thou couldest neuer seeke him For that soule dooth languish not for loue but through wearines which is not inlightened with the beames of the eternall Sonne But if through the sweete blastes of the Southren winde her frosen coldnes and sorowe be once resolued then by reason of the light inspired and incomprehensible diuinitie she beginneth to sweat through the hotnes of loue Oah infinite heate of the true Sonne what boilings doost thou cause then within the hart of the louer Thou dissoluest the darkenes of a sorowfull minde and bringest the laborsome toile vnto nothing The long time and daies of pouertie thou doost comfort and that abundantlie with one simple beame of thy glorious light O salue of the sorowfull ô shining light of such as wander and seeke Shine thou continuallie vpon me prepare thou a mansion place within me euen till thine euerlasting light doo appeere Oah how sweete and how comfortable will thy presence bee seeing euen of a little remembrance so vnspeakeable ioie dooth arise Howe gladlie can I turne vnto thee how frankelie doo I renounce euen this world that I maie be comforted with thine heauenlie fauor For it will be none hard matter for the soule which longeth for the sight of thy countenance to bereaue her selfe of all outward pleasure when she shall either feele nowe a greater in the minde or verie shortlie expect with a perfect faith for the same Furthermore none is to be so foolish as to thinke that thou wilt leaue the deuout soule anie long while vncomforted or that the gifts of thy fauor which she is to receaue for all her conquests ouer nature shall be small for no earthlie comfort whatsoeuer it bee or whence soeuer it arise is anie whit comparable either in the qualitie or quantitie of sweetnes to the heauenlie ioie And therefore labor thou ô faithfull soule to showe thy selfe such toward thine heauenlie spouse Christ that hee maie continuallie be gratious and fauorable vnto thee for through him and in him you shall in most abundant manner finde that which exceedinglie shall minister comfort vnto you in all extremities The oftener you haue accesse vnto him and the nigher you doo approch vnto his side the sweeter hee will appeere and the more amiable in your eies But if you withdrawe your selfe then the losse wil be your owne and he abiding in his beautie shall feele neither griefe nor trooble You stand in neede of his but he of no mans goodnes So that you maie become blessed through him but so cannot hee by your proceeding Hee alone sufficeth himselfe hee alone can neither bee augmented nor diminished Through his goodnes all things are whatsoeuer bee whether theie haue life sense or vnderstanding And therefore iust it is that all creatures euerlastinglie should blesse him Oah how gladlie would I discourse and speake of him vnto thee if I were able sufficientlie so to doo But what He neither is nor maie be vttered Againe as he cannot be vttered by meanes so can he not be conceaued in minde Which being so thinke notwithstanding of thy Creator so well as man maie taking the remembrance of his abundant sweetnes for a comfort vntill such time as hee reuealeth the sight of his owne countenance vnto thee in the heauens CHAP. 20. 1. A complaint of the Soule for the want of her blessed state 2. What weeping pleaseth God 3. Who trulie blessed 4. A description of God I Said in mine hart I am cast out of thie sight Mine hart is wounded within me throgh the long differring of thy glorie I will speake therefore and reason with my grieued Soule The great zeale of loue compelleth mee to speake and suffereth nothing to be concealed from thee What then shall I saie Lo my God in peace is my most bitter bitternes Hee that is ignorant wotteth not the meaning heereof But it is not so with mee I knowe and I vnderstand it and therefore I am not ashamed to sing with the Prophet I speake to thee my Lord who knowest all things and giuest both knowledge and vnderstanding according to thy good pleasure that neither I maie glorie more than is meete I should nor the foole aduance mee when in truth I am simple I maie confesse then what I haue receaued from thee And yet what neede haue I to tell you thereof when as you are neither ignorant nor can take anie pleasure of the same Againe what comfort can come vnto you which art the comfort of the comfortlesse So that the profit is mine which doo lack the consolation of woords thereby to stir vp mine affection to thee-ward and to finde some ease for my desolate soule For seeing I maie not behold thy
presence I will bewaile thine absence because euen this is a token of loue and a great pleasure to the louing soule Now then the sense of this sentence appeareth Because it is rightlie said of the louing soule how the more feruentlie she loueth and the more earnestlie she longeth after eternall things the more trulie she feeleth the power thereof working within her Theie are not cold woords but to the vnkinde soule neither deafe organs but to the hardened hart The louing and zelous soule knoweth this well and is so often inflamed in hart as she is pricked with the desire of eternall peace And therefore shee speaketh to thee her Lord God not to men of whome she would not be knowen And although sometime she talketh with men yet that which theie heare is to the outward sense But whatsoeuer she saith to thee it is to the verie soule and rather by sighing of the hart than by sounding words Lo saith she in peace is my most bitter bitternes As if she said After that of thy goodnes I returned vnto the peace of minde the transitorie state of the world began to be still more grieuous vnto mee For I see in this peace how far I am separated from the soueraigne peace And in deede beeing first busied with earthlie desires and mooued with diuers passions I was greatlie hindered from spirituall cogitations and so from heauenlie contemplation after which I should haue much longed but that could I least of all doo because through slothfulnes I did forgo all sense of inward sorowe But nowe seeing the troobles of idle thoughts are taken awaie I doo somewhat rest in the peace of conscience and am drawen vnto heauenlie matters with mine whole hart and I do more lament that I do not enioie the good things of God than erst I did moorne being vexed with the troobles of this world So that it is bitternes to my soule euen to liue in this world and to go vnder the heauie burden of sin But it is bitterest of all when somuch as I maie all mine affections being gathered together I doo enioie now the good things of the hart and bend my selfe euen with hartie zeale toward the armes of eternall peace and yet maie not attaine thereunto because of the bonds of my mortall state And this makes mee euen with griefe of hart to crie vnto thee and to saie O wretched man that I am who shall deliuer mee from the bodie of this death There is none so greuous a burden vnto me as stil to wander frō thee by liuing in the world for laboring in loue I wish for no comfort beside thee For by good experience I haue long sithence learned that my soule can neither be satisfied with the good things of this world nor yet be blessed vntill she be ioined vnto thee in the celestiall habitation For as exceedinglie she doth loue burne and vse contemplation while she is in the bodie so will her desire be insatiable vntill the bodie be laide off And therefore her ende must be made perfect by attaining the souereigne felicitie and the light of thy countenance O King of heauen so amiable in all respects ô my all louelie beloued euen wholie to be desired when wilt thou fill mee with the light of thy countenance when wilt thou satisfie my longing with the well of life My soule hath much thirsted after thee and greatlie will be troobled vntill she attaine thee Liuing in the world and not seeing thee I can take no comfort of whatsoeuer I beholde so greatelie dooth zeale waxe hot that not once but often I breake into these words When shall I come and appeere before the face of my God And this loue of mine cesseth not but encreaseth more and more in such sort that I am driuen euen to weepe night and daie while continuallie I doo thinke with my selfe Where is now my God For it is a comfort to the louing soule to weepe for thy sake while she must want her desire and still expect thy comming And these teares doo more feede and refresh the louing soule than if she enioied all the things of this world For did she loue them she would not weepe for thee Oah how blessed and pleasing to thee is the sheading of such teares For theie doo both kill the desires of secular and temporall ioies and also theie obteine the celestiall consolation And therefore none doo shed such holie teares but theie which are both singularlie in loue and verie notablie religious Far of another kinde be the teares of such as miserablie be troobled in this world For one man weepeth because he is sick another for that he is oppressed another because he is iniured another because his minde is contraried but it is thou religious soule onlie which powrest forth teares euen of pure loue to thy Sauior-ward as for temporall damage and worldlie causes theie trooble thee not for thou submittest thy selfe to the righteous iudgement of God and art thankefull And for so dooing let no worldlie creature iudge thee either foolish or impatient because thy teares doo not greeue but comfort theie doo not blur the face but wash it theie hurt not the eies but theie purifie the sight of the minde Howbeit let others conceaue heereof as theie will I cannot but thinke otherwise than well of you for I doo wish to drinke deep of such teares S. If you wish to weepe with mee then maie you bee comforted with mee Oah that your soule were as I am you could neuer forget what I doo feele I knowe whome I credit and sure I am it is a more easie thing to denie that there is anie heauen and earth than that there is a God And I knowe also hee is my full happines and that I shall neuer bee blessed vntill I haue an absolute sight of his maiestie Whose sight because it is not yet granted me nor alwaies assured me doth make me to lamēt inasmuch as I am depriued of happines wrapped in the darknes of this life and downpeised with the waight of mine owne infirmitie that I am not of power to suffer that wonderfull light and that whatsoeuer I do think cōcerning the glorie of heauen is so litle and ouershadowed as it were with a cloude Hence it is that I dooble my complaint in steede of a song and while theie still saie vnto mee Where is thy God my spirit is the more troobled For thus I thinke then Where is my felicitie where is the full ioie of mine hart where is my true peace and reste Where be all the good things that are vnspeakeable but onlie in my God And when shall I enioie them vnlesse I be ioined vnto him hauing nothing betweene Yea when shall I there bee I knowe not but I beleeue well I doo hope well but yet I haue not Whie then where is my God whome I loue so and yet I see him not Through whose loue I
maidens old men and children praising the name of the Lord continuallie and ascribing the goodnes which theie had at anie time vnto his mercie There theie are I saie alwaie gratefull alwaie zelous alwaie iocund alwaie religious neuer loathing but euer louing the Lord. Oah howe glorious is this kingdome where all the Sanctes doo raigne with Christ araied with the firste roabe and be without care of the other There theie folowe the Lambe wheresoeuer hee goeth for theie cannot part but reioicing euerlastinglie shall ioie in the Lord. O my Soule muse thou vpon these things and cast thy thoughts vpon heauenlie matters That place in deede is an holie place and God is in the same There is surpassing ioie and peace good things abound and euils there be none Oah if thou couldest euen a little comprehend the vnspeakeable ioies of God his sanctes then should you finde some comfort For in mee you shall be sure to finde nothing but labor and sorowe and tentations with troobles of this world Oah that the giuer of supernall light would vouchsafe to enspire some porcion of these ioies into you and not send you back vnto my newe withering foode but according to the riches of his superabundant mercie purifie and rid you of all materiall formes and bring you yea by force into the deepe of his eternall brightnes Would to God you could carrie back from that heauenlie sanctuarie a forme and example of true holines which you might imitate For better and more true are the examples of celestiall and strong things than theie which are confirmed by earthlie demonstrations Therefore grante Lord that I maie sauor and knowe what the perfect felicitie of sanctes is not so much by written bookes thereof as by the holie Ghost which teacheth of celestiall secrets in such sort as no sense of man is able to reach thereunto Grante also that from henceforth I maie lift vp my minde more feruentlie vnto heauenlie things and amiddes my grieuous troobles valiantlie beare the garland of patience till the debt of flesh being paid I maie attaine through thy mercie vnto this felicitie that I so desire CHAP. 22. 1. A godlie meditation concerning the accesse vnto the holie of holies euen Iesus Christ the king of angels 2. godlie petitions for the forgiuenes of sins THou art my King ô God Arise now my soule come and enter into the wonderfull tabernacle euen into the house of God For it is meete that omitting other things thou with all reuerence doo proceede to salute our Lord Iesus Christ thy Sauior and redeemer which is the head of all principalitie and power the ioie and crowne of all sanctes the assured trust and certaine hope of all the faithfull He it is which hath made and redeemed thee he it is which hath for thy sake both labored striued and ouercome He is thine aduocate and the propitiation for thy sins He is thy comforter thy prouider and thy Lord He is thine onlie singular freend that feedeth among the lilies and loueth to reste him vpon thy breastes Who euer hath doon the like for thee who euer loued you so entirely Come thou vnto him offer your selfe to him open your whole heart and vnfold euen your hidden secrets vnto him For no man will better either declare or else reueale how you should behaue your selfe in this world in the which things fall out so strangelie Let your wishes and praiers be directed vnto him and in him let all your counsailes abide Vaine is the hope of man but hee is the vpholder of peace Through him wee haue open accesse vnto the Father and from him wee receaue all goodnes and virtue Whether you mourne or whether you reioice make continuall recourse vnto him Hee is the glasse of life the rule of righteousnes the light of the soule the loue of shamefastnes and the ioie of a good conscience If thou louest him it will be none hard matter for thee to despise the vane pleasures of this world if thou louest him all soure things will seeme sweete all heauie things will seeme light and that which otherwise you should mislike you will like right well for his sake To be briefe of him and through him and for him are all things The principall ende both of all our thoughts and of all our actions and of our speech and of our reading praieng meditating and speculation should be Iesus Christ. Through him you attaine saluation and euerlasting life For his loue you will neither feare to die nor refuse to liue because you are to commit your selfe wholie to his trust and to prefer nothing before his loue and honor Wherefore come neere and giue thanks to thy Redeemer S. O moste sweete Iesu aboue all things to be loued I salute thee most religiouslie I commend thee most highlie and I blesse thee now and euerlastinglie with all thy creatures O moste renowmed Iesu howe can I praise thee as I ought When shall I thanke thee as I am bound in that thy mercies are so infinite to mee-ward Againe whatsoeuer I giue it is thy gift and I receaued it from thee But little or nothing it is that I haue and can I then sacrifice of nothing Howbeit accept I beseech thee mine humble base and vile sacrifice and let my gifts be ascribed to thy goodnes Let the quires of heauenlie angels attending about thee sound forth thine infinite praises on my behalfe also let the soules of the righteous repeate the same In the meane while what shall I doo in memorie and praise of thy most sacred name Much I ought to doo and for manie things I am greatlie bound yet am I not able to performe the least And therefore I will reade of thee ô my sweete Sauior I will write of thee I will sing of thee I will thinke of thee I will speake of thee I will worke for thee and for thee will I suffer In thee will I reioice thee will I praise thee will I magnifie thee will I glorifie As it is meete I will worship thee because thou art my God in whom I beleeue whome I doo loue seeke and haue alwaie desired Giue mee some good signe that mine eies maie behold thy goodlie countenance in the heauens Humblie I doo throwe downe my selfe at thy feete in hart earnestlie with teares desiring thy fauor that thou wilt vouchsafe to be good vnto mee Write my name in the booke of life and let that neuer be out-blotted which thine holie hand hath written I wretch that I am and far inferior to anie of thy sanctes yet trusting boldlie vpon the more than excellent prerogatiue of thy mercies beseech thee that at the leastwise I maie be compted among the basest and woorst of thine elect I confesse my life and conuersation is not such that I dare presume anie thing of my selfe and therefore all mine hope
what in the ende will become of mee seeing dailie I doo offend When shall I amend my life as I ought to doo When will it be better with mee When shall I waxe strong And when shall I ouercome I am cast head-long into the deep pit of filthines Who can thinke there is yet hope left to arise againe to amend to goe forward and to come vnto the ende Surelie touching my selfe I am out of all hope ah that mine hope were stronger in thee I greatlie dâ—o despeire because my weakenes encreaseth through long troubles and I see no ende of my sorow and sinne And though I saie lo nowe I will begin to amend lo it is nowe time I will doo my best to reforme my selfe straight-waie alas sinne standeth before mee the enimie lifteth vp himselfe against mee and wicked custome keepeth mee back with might and maine contrarie to my minde O Lord behold howe I am cast downe and troden vnder foote behold the troubles which I doo endure Lift vp thy right hand and deliuer mee fro my persecutors for they are too strong for mee My wisedome is perished and my strength hath failed mee Mine arme is broken neither can my swoord saue mee I see not vnto whome I may flie and that will receaue and heale me I knowe none Thou alone continuest my refuge but I dare not approch for shame because I haue offended thee I haue sinned ô God forgiue mee I am sorie yea hartelie sorie that euer I did transgresse thy lawes Giue mee that which seemeth right in thine eies and bee mercifull Thou didest iustlie in forsaking mee and iustlie thou didest commit mee into the hands of mine aduersarie But Lord remember that which thou hast made amende that which is decaied for of it selfe it can neuer stande Marke my groaning and my troubles let the paine and griefe of mine heart at no time be out of thy remembrance O mercifull Father cast an eie vpon my thraldome and imprisonment vpon the miserie and crueltie which I doo endure and bring mee out that am bound from the prison-house and wretched bondage Though a man should liue manie yeares what will hee bee the better thereby And who knoweth whether hee shall amend his wicked life or be worse and worse Man woteth not howe hee shall proceede and ende and his continuance is verie doubtfull because of the manifold chances of euils and dangerous tentations Manie at their first conuersion from sinne are good and humble which afterward become froward and rebellious At the first they were modest and deuoute zelous and silent and in the ende prooued carelesse and dissolute bablers and barbarous And they which at the beginning did bridle their wicked affections at the length had scarse anie care at all either what they said or did And so by little and little wickednesse taketh roote and encreaseth while it is not preuented at the beginning Who therefore but should feare and be circumspect seeing such vnluckie chances doo come vnto the good and modest Againe who thoroughlie doth knowe whether hee bee elected or hath strength to beare all things Wee are all to be tried and who is sure that hee shall not be burned seeing tentation is a fire So that all must feare and hope alike of the better but none is rashlie to presume nor yet prowdlie to bee secure In deed the gold which is tried shall be preserued but I aduise thee ô man to consider well of what metall thou art The celestiall purger will purge hee will fine the sonnes of Leui euen all that are his seruants It is not alwaies gold which hath the color of gold neither is it alwaie stuble or naughtie siluer which endureth beating and beareth the flaile For God beholdeth the verie cogitations and the hearts by them most commonlie working woonders which in the opinion of manie are but castawaies O Lord God what ioie can I haue in this world when I thinke vpon the vncertaintie and frailtie of all things vnder heauen Notwithstanding this am I sure of that thou art good and that thy mercie is from generation to generation on them that feare thee For thine infinite goodnes and mercie is greater than all my sins And this shall be my comfort while thou giuest me space to amend my life CHAP. 5. 1. Of the shortnes and miserie of this present life 2. A praier for grace to renounce the world and the vanities of the same LEt mee vnderstand the shortnes of my daies So long as I am in this world I am wicked and while I continue vpon the earth I am poore a stranger and a pilgrime I brought nothing into the world and certaine it is I can carrie nothing thereout for naked came I out of my mothers wombe and naked shall I returne thether againe As a shadow which passeth awaie and as a fether which is tossed vp and downe with the winde and as a ghest of one night so suddenlie shall I passe awaie All the time wee haue heere to liue is but as the shortest night Fewe and euill are my daies and after a little while they shall ende and bee as though they had neuer been And when man is dead what is in man but filthines Who will haue anie care of a stinking carkas Or who will enquire of the absent being dead whereas beeing aliue hee was accounted of A small while is man remembred either of his freends or of strangers but vndoubtedlie the righteous shall be had in euerlasting remembrance because hee shall be euerlastinglie linked to God who is alwaies the same and shall neuer die Therefore happie is hee which putteth no trust in man nor yet reioiceth in anie worldlie thing but hath his hart fixed in heauen for what soeuer is in this world is transitorie and vane Call into thy minde those which haue liued since the world began vntill nowe and tell I praie thee where they bee And those whome you see and heare to liue now how long thinkest thou will they endure Saie therefore of all Euerie man that liueth is but vanitie O miserable and wretched life ô fraile and lamentable life which good men doo suffer rather than desire and wicked men albe they desire it yet can they not long enioie the same Oah vanitie of this world when wilt thou haue an ende when wilt thou cesse Yet the time will come when all the elect shall be set free from the bondage of corruption though now they doo lament because they are estranged from the kingdome of Christ Would to God the whole world would euen wither vp in mine hart and my Lord God euen mine immortall spouse seeme sweete vnto my soule Vndoubtedlie the fleeting ioie of this present life is but a false and a most bitter potion Let them drinke thereof that list for afterward they shall feele a most bitter flixe And the more one hath
my sins I cannot denie but deseruedlie â—heie conceaue ill of mee yea I doo â—penlie acknowledge this withall â—hat I am much more wicked than â—nie man dooth knowe L. You doo well thus to humble your â—elfe For in so dooing you shall euer gaine and more easelie obteine my â—auor Notwithstanding I will not thereâ—ore cast you awaie because you are 〈◊〉 sinner and faultie albeit that should â—ake you both to thinke baseâ—â—e of â—our selfe and alwaie to haue in mind what great sins you are polluted withall But that you perish not through desperation consider howe manie righteous men I haue made of sinners freendes of enimies choosing the humble and refusing the proude I haue no neede of anie gift of thine onlie this I require at your hands namelie that you loue mee with a pure hart and I am satisfied S. I am cleane dashed for alas there is nought within mee to stir vp your loue thus to mee-ward L. I doo neither respect nor require the things that this world dooth offer to get fauor withall if you doo loue and that your loue be feruent and constant it is all that I aske But I praie thee whose are the things that doo or maie adorne a man Are not all things mine whatsoeuer doo glitter either in the bodie or minde As for that of the world and which set out the bodie theie ought litle to trooble your minde But the things which belong to the beutifieng of virtue it standeth you vpon to seeke that you maie please the Lord in the light of the liuing Howbeit you haue well doon in humbling and accusing your selfe so well outwardlie as inwardlie before the face of my maiestie by confessing vnfainedlie your great weakenes and wickednes and by fetching deep sighes for that you are verie vnworthie to chalenge the fauor of my familiaritie euen but one houre beeing as I am a glasse pure without spot and you are a great sinner and vncleane euen from your infancie And therefore be euer mindfull both of your fraile condition and of my glorious maiestie and so with humble reuerence approch boldlie into my presence For I am hee that putteth awaie thine iniquities and will not remember thy sins it is I that iustifie the vngodlie and this I doo for mine holie name sake yea and I am still readie to minister greater gifts of mercie vnto thee Because I doo euer choose to showe fauor rather than displeasure as one who had rather spare than punish Yea all this seemeth but little in mine eies neither am I so content with the first grace that I will not add a second or a third rather yea in verie deede as I can set none ende to my mercies so neither can the number of my gifts and benefits bee recited Last of all after that I for my part haue pardoned sins and men for their partes by their goodnes haue testified to the world their vnfained repentance then doo I restore for the most part the comfort of mine healthfull countenance by powring in most plentifull manner the grace of mine holie Spirit And although a sinner doo abide still in the flesh yet doo I receaue him into my familiaritie so that he is not to feare the vtter confusion for sins committed but rather to thanke and praise God that old things bee passed awaie and that all things are become newe So gratious and mercifull am I that alwaies I am more readie to forgiue than thou art to beg forgiuenes at mine hands more readie to giue than thou art to aske Therefore whie feare you What dismaieth you to approch vnto the side of such fauor And whie doo you estrange your selfe from so greate kindenes offered vnto you so francklie of mine owne accord Doubtlesse though you did certainlie vnderstand that I were purposed to giue you the deniall yet ought you not to desist from praier nor yet to be out of all hope of being heard but so much the more earnestlie to be instant in crieng vntill you were heard For my mercies are infinite and what I denie at one time maie bee granted fauorablie at another How knowe you whether I will turne my face vnto you and grant you the desire of your hart And what saith the Prophet concerning mee Approch vnto him and be illightened so shall not your faces be confounded Wherefore accuse your slowe comming vnto mee rather than your often approching and rather your fearefull shamefastnes than your prompt presuming of forgiuenes To hope well of my goodnes is a verie token of true humilitie and of a great faith This doo I speake that you maie not offend and that when you doo offend you despeire not but rise againe with speede For yet you haue hope and an aduocate with the Father What Looke you to be all woorthie before you make accesse vnto mee And of your selfe when will you be so If onlie such as are good and worthie and great and perfect should approch vnto mee to whome should sinners and publicans approch So then what saith the Gospell There resorted vnto him publicans and sinners to heare him Therefore let the vnwoorthie approch that theie maie become woorthie let the wicked approch that theie maie be made good let the weake and vnperfect approch that theie maie prooue strong and perfect yet let all and euerie one approch that theie maie receaue from the abundant streames of the well of life I am the well of life that can not be drawen drie He which is a thirst let him come vnto me and drinke And he which hath nothing let him come and buie without siluer and without monie Hee that is sick let him come to be healed Hee that is neither hot nor cold let him come to be inflamed Hee that is fearefull let him come to be encouraged hee that is sorowfull let him come to be comforted Hee that is withered let him come to be fatted hee that is wearied with cares let him come to be refreshed with ioie Lo my delite is to be with the children of men Hee that desireth wisedome let him come vnto my lessons Hee that seeketh riches let him come to receaue those which are eternall and vncorruptible Hee that hunteth for honor let him come to get an euerlasting name in the inheritance of heauen hee that wisheth for felicitie let him come and hee shall taste the soueraigne eternall and infinite happines I euen I it is which giue all temporall good things yea and besides that I giue eternall riches in the heauens And what I promise I will performe at such time as my commandements are dulie obserued And hee then shall be crowned gloriouslie in heauen that hath foughten couragiouslie in this world CHAP. 19. 1. The desire of a Christian Soule is neuer satisfied till God bee enioied 2. No comfort anie whit comparable to the spirituall ioie LEt the meditation of