well why only if it was for any thing it was to read of the Controversie of Mr. Goodwin Yet as it prov'd by the all disposing Providence it was indeed for another business For as soon as I was in my Chamber I was exceedingly melted for those former sins Oh happy time Oh blessed spirit that led me not with my Saviour into the Wilderness to be tempted but to the Table of my Lord to feed on his fat things Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name On Friday before Easter 1651 I had no small joy in prayer never to my remembrance found I such a spirit of indefatigability before O praise God my soul and hie to God! And elsewhere he writes I have found in the various dispensations of Gods love and his dealing with me such a temper as this I have gone to prayer and laboured under such indisposition of soul and hardness of mine heart that I could not tell how to speak to God all sparks of faith as to the casting of my soul upon God seem'd to be extinct all breathings after God and Christ seem'd to be dead sin seem'd as nothing I sought to lay them to my charge yea and according to their aggravations I laboured to set Hell as to its torments before me that by them I might be startled Mine heart was so hard sin and its aggravations did as it were rebound back and convictions would not stick Methought Hell and its torments in this case no more frighted me than a sword at a blind mans throat would startle him I sought indeed that mine heart might be softned yet then but in word desires came not kindly from mine heart and in such a case I left praying this being night The next morning I went to duty again with a perhaps God will be gracious but found my soul hard as before and having pray'd a while and finding no comfort in it I was thinking to break off and so I should had not God prevented me by putting such an argument into my mouth as this Lord canst thou that hast said thou art a Father of such tender bowels suffer thy poor child thy poor creature to plead thus with thee for a broken heart and thou with hold it so stifly from him Upon this mine heart was exceedingly full and broken dissolved even into tears Oh ye Saints remember that Gods workings are arbitrary XXV As he records the failings and comforts he had before in and after prayer so we have him noting It is a good means to keep a mans soul up in a constant frame If he every day call his soul to a question How he hath walked with God that whole day And those sins he finds he hath fallen into that day let him resolve to watch against more strictly the next day and beg strength against them and by doing of this he shall quickly find a growth in grace and victory over his corruptions He adds When thou art ever pleading with God against sins remember that they are Gods enemies as well as thine Tell God he hates sin and wickedness and these are the enemies that thou art conflicting with and assure thy self God will not stand as a neuter but will take thy souls part as David in the fifth Psalm And again consider that thy soul is as a Common-wealth Christ the King thy corruptions the enemies now you know that the King is as much or rather should be more engag'd against the enemies of his Kingdom than the subjects are because the destruction of them or their victory strikes more upon his honour XXVI It is an hard thing to believe that a mans prayers are heard except he finds some warmings in his spirit in prayer either in solid joy or an hearty mourning Here these cases came to be resolv'd viz. Seeing the Children of God are often drawn out in prayer at By times a poor soul begins to reflect upon his own experiences and finding no such matter perform'd by himself is apt to be discouraged and to doubt whether God ever loved him First Thou must know though such dispensations are ordinary yet not necessary The Spirit can work without them as doubtless he doth in many Secondly Perhaps it hath not been Christs want of love to thee but thy negligence towards him He hath knocked and thou hast not opened Oh! this is a repulse to the King of Glory a sad dealing with thy Jesus with a Christ that was all a-sweat for thee and had his sides running out water and blood for thee to let him stand and knock without and give him no lodging Object Yea but the soul may say I have often watcht mine heart and markt the breathings of my soul whither they tended Godward or no but alas I was hard and blind a sottish creature Ans First Let such a consideration as this serve to humble thee but not to deject thee Know that there is a time when God will not be found and that is upon thy slighting of his former tenders Oh! when ever thou findest thy self in such a case forementioned Go and bewail before God thine hard and rough dealings with him Secondly Consider that upon such a reflexion on thy self and finding thine heart dead and listless to prayer it is very probable that the Spirit of God calls thee out at that time to prayer against thine hardness thy listlesness and blindness as to the discoveries of thy self and Gods love towards thee Oh! take heed of slighting such a tender as this Perhaps thou maist never have more of such tenders as these are and that thou maist wrestle a blessing out of Gods hand urge God with his own promises in the 54th Chapter of Isaiah it is a most spiritual and raising Chapter Here it may be Queried How to know that God hides himself out of love to me This to me is a strong evidence that God hides himself out of love to me after some miscarriage of soul 1 When God by my fall into a sin makes me more cautious of that sin for the future 2 God by that sin discovers my base heart to me 3 When God draws out my soul to beg earnestly for strength of him against it But a man after he hath fallen into some sin may take up resolutions against it and yet fall into it again 'T is true there is scarce a Saint but hath experienc'd this very thing and the reasons of it are not dark 1 On Gods part he will make his Saints to know that resolutions nor prayers nor any duty else can conquer sin He would have them acknowledg when corruptions are subdued it came from God that so they may put the crown of mortification upon his head 2 On our part let us examine our selves whether we did resolve in the strength of Christ If not it 's no wonder if we fall If we say we did Let 's examine our souls whether we did apply our selves to God
a Lamb do there they saw thee in their ravenous jaws about to tear thy heart to suck out all thy blood and leave thee dead Have I not sat and read and read and wept in viewing over the story and could they forbear that with their watry eyes saw this scene then acted But whither O whither O ye blinded Jews are ye dragging this my Lord My spirit begins to faint I now can look no longer my heart now begins to swell with grief it must now break or I must vent it at mine eyes in streams Look see the Hammer and Nails the Hammer lift up to strike Bloody man thou durst not sure surely thou dost not know whose hands and feet thou art now piercing it is the Prince and Saviour of the world Foolish heart see how thou art mistaken look see it 's done the nails are driven to the head see how the crimson tears run trickling down his hands and feet and see how hardened hearts be laughing at it Oh silly foolish blinded men what laugh you at This very Christ whom now you mock shall be your Judg this very man Jesus whom you have thus abused shall come attended with thousands of Angels with the sound of Trumpets and shall sit upon your life and death Him whom you now have nailed to a Cross hath God exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour What then will you do when that great and terrible day of the Lord shall come How will you look him in the face whom you have spit on How will you dare to speak a word for your selves to him whom you have nailed to a tree and crucified His wounds in hands side and feet shall all bear witness against you and his innocent blood that you have spilt shall cry aloud about the throne for vengeance against you your flouts shall then be turned into tears and your taunts into lamentations And how will you then look and cry when God passeth sentence on you and thrust you down to Hell to bear the punishment of your sins this is the Lord that came to spare your lives yet your wickedness spared not his and how at length can you think to escape with yours But once again look up my soul and see what is become of thy nailed and crucified Lord Ah me he is not quite dead look how he gasps and pants for life Oh how his looks are changed How pale and wan do I see his cheeks the blood and all the spirits are quite drawn from them Methinks he should be dead for see how weak his neck is grown that it is not able to support his head that lyes a dying on his bleeding breast What yet not dead see how he shakes and stirs his dying limbs what gasps and groans do I hear him fetch as if his soul were strugling to get out Hark hark he speaks Oh let me catch the last breath of my dying Saviour What saith my Lord Hark what dost thou not hear what My God my God why hast thou forsaken me I am amazed to hear these words How couldst thou suspect thy Fathers love How could he be far from thee who was one with thy self But Oh! this is but the voice of his Manhood and not of his Godhead It was the voice of the dying and bleeding Man Jesus not the voice of the God Jesus But Oh my Lord what are those pains and gripes thou feelest that brings forth these complainings But why do I ask this question hath he not been all this while a drinking up the cup his Father gave him the bitter and sowr and poysonous cup of his Fathers wrath which I and all the world had else drunk of he just now swallowed down the last mouth full of the dregs whose bitter noisome taste hath sent forth these doleful lamentations for mark he had no sooner spoke these words but he gasped his last The causes of his Death And must the Son of God be humbled thus must he that was from everlasting raised and advanced above every name in heaven and earth he that lay in the arms and breast of God loved by the Father and his only Son honoured adored admired and beloved of ten thousand times ten thousands of Angels But must this God leave all this glory and change that sweet Heavenly and delightsome Palace for so mean so low so dirty a cottage as to be born a man And must his entertainment at first be no better than a stable or a manger could give him No sooner must he begin to live but must an enemy assault his life Must he travel up and down this earth and spend his time and strength in preaching glad tidings to miserable undone men and fill the world with signs and wonders and not deserve so much of men as a house to dwell in or a hole to put his head in and after all this humble holy long-suffering life must he be thought of by this unthankful and unbelieving world as one not worthy to live and not have a breathing in that air which he both made and gave them to breathe in but must he at length be laid hold of by a traiterous Judas that he had once taken for one of his own Apostles and must he suffer all this But ah alas what is this must he be also crowned with thorns and must he sweat and bleed Oh far more than tongue can utter Oh astonishing condescension thus did the Son become a servant and learn'd obedience by his sufferings and served a three and thirty years apprenticeship in the pain and travel of his soul here on earth a longer time than Jacob served for his beloved Rachel and that because he loved us better and therefore gave a better dowry for us But had I lived to have seen this Prince of Glory thus disguis'd this Eastern Sun thus benighted in a cloud this glorious God thus wrapped up in rags of flesh should I have known him or not my sensual heart I doubt thee much wouldst thou have cleaved to him loved him better than thy life and have said Though all leave thee I will not and with Paul I am willing and ready not only to be bound but to die for thee What thinkst thou Oh my soul couldst thou have left Husband Wife Father and Mother and all the rest of thy friends and have sold all that thou hast and followed him what him whom the Prophet foretold Isa 53.23 He hath no form or comeliness in him that you should desire him he is despised and rejected of men a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefs Tell me tell me couldst thou have divorced thy self from all and have taken this seemingly uncomely person for thy Lord and only Husband Ah me I do not know my heart but surely had I known him as I do now know him I should not have stuck at any thing for him For what if his Face did want comeliness seeing it came so with tears and grief
same and before this age did not our Fathers and Grandfathers and great Grandfathers and so continued a testimony of ages from the time that they were done to this day witness to the truth of them and that so unanimously and resolutely that ten thousands have rather chosen to lose their lives than the truth of them Now put all these together and tell me canst thou doubt Away I see thou dost but trifle confess the truth or I am resolved to heed thee no longer Come take and embrace that crucified Jesus account all things else but as loss and dross and dung in comparison with him stick not at his outward meanness scruple not at his ignominious dying it is the very Christ the Saviour of the world Oh why shouldest-thou thus torment me Dost thou not see all thy fellow-Christians to glory in that Cross and in that Christ that died on it Do they not bear it as a badg of honour and shall it be to thee as shame Do not all the Christian World eat and drink as often as they can the Symbols of this their dying Lord And do they not all sing and joy and triumph in it and wilt thou the while lye vexing thy self over a company of needless fears and scruples Farewell all needless doubts and tormenting questions I see my faith is built on a Rock blow winds beat waves you cannot now remove me Blessed God! I thank thee for thy Son thou hast given his life for the spoiler thou hast bowed his back to the enemies long furrows have they plowed upon it and the day of his calamity they laughed at Lord thou hast wounded him for my sins and bruised him for my iniquities These speak the depth of thy counsels and the ways of thy mercy past finding out and the tenderness of thy Bowels Thou hast made him my Rock and my shield and my strong tower and in the day of my sorrow through him thou wilt hear me To thee O God will I make my vows and to thee will I pay them I will humble my self before thee I will always lye at the feet of my Redeemer Lord his Cross and his shame shall be no more a stumbling-block to me I will take it up and follow him it shall be my Crown my Song and the glory of my rejoicing I will enter into thy Courts with joy and in the Congregations of thy Saints shall be my delight I will remember thy loving-kindnesses of old and the days in which thou didst afflict thy only Son for the sins of my Soul I will call to mind the Covenant of thy Grace and my heart shall praise thee when I see it founded on blood Then will I betroth my self to thy Son join thou Lord both our hands and hearts and we will strike up a match for ever Praise thou the Lord Oh my soul and all you that love and fear him praise his holy name The SACRAMENT The Dress Lord where am I What! all the Children of the Bride-chamber up and drest and I slumbering in my bed Tell me ye fairest what make you up so early Alas our Lord was up before us all He called us up by break of the day and wondered that we were not triming our lamps knowing with whom we were to feast this day Oh! well then I will rise up too Oh what a shew do these bright and glittering Saints make in mine eyes What a brightness do these pearls and diamonds cast in mine eyes they do strike me into amazement Oh what a lovely humble look doth crown their brow and what a comely countenance hath joy and Heavenly delight cast on their cheeks surely they did not thus dress themselves it was my Father that made them thus prepar'd to entertain his Son But where are my Clothes Now for the fairest sweetest robe of thoughts and wishes that can be found or that the wardrobe of my Father can afford me Oh how naked am I But where are my silken golden twists of Faith to hang the jewels of joy and love and humility upon I am never drest till they be on Oh where where are they I saw them by me but just now I laid them by my heart before I went to bed Oh what was I so long a reasoning about Oh what long and many threds did my reason spin even now but to make these twines to tye up my joy and to raise up my love and to hang my Heavenly delight upon But ah I fear this envious world hath with her vanities stollen them away or hid them from me or the envious Devil or unbelief have been ravelling or snarling of them that now I am as far to seek as ever Whither O whither shall I go to find them out Now will the Bridegroom come and I am not ready I cannot dare not go to day Now will my Lord be angry and ask me why I came not and I have no answer to make him And if I go undrest he will ask me where is my Wedding-garment and then I shall be speechless Ah foolish simple heart that thou wouldst take no more care but to let these thoughts of earth so intangle themselves with thy so pure and Heavenly contemplations Now how to get them loose again thou knowest not this thou mightst by heed and care have prevented but now what help Lord I have sinned O holy Father pardon this time and I will take more heed Oh come and unty my thoughts from this earth and come and dress me up as best pleaseth thee Come be not discouraged Oh my soul Let but thy attire of Grace be whole that is sincere thy God and so thy Saviour will accept thee Though thy garments are not so much perfumed with heaven as thy brethrens are but yet if they are but white and free from the spots of flesh and spirit thou wilt be looked on and liked of well enough Thy Lord doth know that all have not talents alike and where he gives but a little he expects but little A Faith that is richly embroidered over with love and delight is not given to all and is not expected from any but from those to whom it is given Thou hast an honest willing serious heart that thinks it doth despise and trample under feet the nearest dearest pleasures profits and glories in the world in compare with him that gave himself to death for thee and hadst rather anger flesh and blood the dearest friends and all the world than him by sinning against him in the least If this be true fear not thou hast thy Wedding-garment on thou art well clad as mean soever as it is it is such a one as Heaven gave thee and such a one as thy dear Redeemer can and will embrace thee in The Presence-Chamber Fear not O my soul I charge thee do not faint Let not thy weakness and the poverty of thy grace discourage thee see how thy Lord draws nigh Fear not I say he will not ask
refuse the seal thereof I know I am vile I am vile but thou hast pardoned me Lord I have abused thy love a thousand times refused thy offered self and withstood the tenders of thy Grace but thou hast covered all my sins thou hast freely justified me by thy Grace and made a full attonement for me by thy blood this is that thou freely biddest me take and I have freely drunk it Never was Wine so full as this is Never was Bowl so full of pleasure as this I have swallowed down my life and pardon at one draught I took it from my Saviours hand it was a cup of his own preparing If ever drink was sugared this was I never tasted better rellisht Wine in all my life The richest Cordials cannot match this draught Divine Spirits of pearls dissolved would but dead this Wine Oh when my hopes but kist the purple dews they hung and cleaved so As if they were loth to let thee go They strove and strugled to get near my heart As if intending there to take a part I dare not say them nay blood from that bowl May the best room command within my soul What a sudden strange yet happy alteration do I find within my languid spirits are revived my winter is over Methinks I feel my life and joy to spring amain My Aarons Rod a dry stick but now doth bloom and flourish My newly ingrafted soul is full of Infant-clusters Blood at the root of Vines They say produceth richest Wines Oh! if my Lord will undertake to dress this Vine and trickle down his blood into my root then draw it up into each branch of Grace by the warming beams of his reviving love then let my Dearest come let him come as he hath promised and bring my Father and his Father with him and sup both with me and in me Let them come and I will bid them a welcome I shall have a fruit to present them with which they themselves shall say is pleasant I shall not send my Father away now so oft complaining I came to seek for grapes and fruit but behold wild ones The Conclusion Oh! how unwillingly do I rise methinks I could sit here and feast my heart and eyes for ever What running-Banquets doth my Lord afford me here surely he should not need to fear that I should surfeit on himself But alas I must be gone what shall I do in yonder hungry soul-starving world again I have been feeding on my Paschal Lamb and now I must go and eat my sowr herbs but if it be his will I must obey if it be so I must arise I know thou hast prepared the endless feast above where I shall ever sit and enjoy thy love and glut my hungry eye and heart on the Banquet of thy everlasting self As yet I am now on earth my toil and work lyes heavy on my hands I have yet an afternoon to labour out God knows my work is hard too hard for me my self to perform I scarcely should have lasted out so long but that sometimes at such seasons as this is he repaired my sinking spirits by pouring in the Cordials of his Blood Now I must go and perhaps find as sharp conflicts with my self as ever I know the World and Hell have been laying their snares and gins to catch my new-fledg'd soul and all conspire against my welfare Now it is well if I escape a fall a bruise a breaking of my bones in which sad plight I have so often lain that my Lord might have took me for dead but that my groanings told him loudly I lived Lord must I leave this feast must I go Take me then by the hand and lead me if I must walk let me see thee by me that I may know I walk with my God Lead me away and I will go with thee and let me not go till thou bringst me hither again I cannot will not live without thee And do thou Lord say I must not shall not If both our hearts in love so well agree What then shall separate my Christ from me A Meditation on the Death of Christ Preparative to the Sacrament Pen'd for his private use BUT is he dead Oh sad yet joyful news how strangely is my soul amazed and diversly mov'd and troubl'd by these contrary passions methinks I could pull up the floodgates of my sorrow and vent it out in tears but something bids me hold Shall I mourn for him that 's just now past his state of mourning He 's dead and what of that And so are all his griefs his bloody sweats his sighs and groans concluded He hath drunk on the brook in the way bitter while they were in his mouth and he was living but sweet now they have sunk into his belly and and he in Heaven Sweet to him because it was his work and he hath finisht it and sweet to me because it was the potion of sorrow death hell that I must have taken And canst thou mourn methinks if thou didst love thine heart should rather sympathize with his He is singing and shalt thou be sighing He is joying that his work is done and now is welcoming into Heaven by God his Father and shouting up by Angels voices as the great Conquerour of the hearts of men on earth and that now in triumph he is returned And will a mournful weed a wet eye and a cloudy brow become thee at these times of Festivals Shall the Heavenly Angels be joyful and thou sad How strangely will this be construed Will it not be said thou dost not love him or thou dost envy his recovered glory that he had left and now again hath taken Or that thou canst not endure to see him wear his Princes Crown in Heaven that for a time he had laid aside to come down to the earth to fetch thee thence to Heaven But ah my Lord thou wilt not sure interpret sorrow thus thou hast not sure forgot to give a meaning unto tears to teach a sigh to speak and then to know its language Hath my Lord forgot so suddenly that he was on earth and that he sweat and groan'd and wept and bled as well as I do now What though now all tears and sorrow and sighing is done away and he ceaseth to be any longer subject to our infirmities yet sure he knows it is not thus with us I am not yet in Heaven nor am I yet quite past the vale of sorrow and it cannot then be strange to him if he sees sometimes our faces look of a sadder hue than those that are in Heaven But why should thus my tears be check'd and my throbbing heart be chidden were it for a thing of nought I might be counted fool or child but shall my Saviour die and vent his soul in a stream of blood and all in love to me and shall he thus forsake the world and die and then be laid in the grave and I be denied the liberty of following
God had not mixed a discovery of Love with Majesty I could not have been able to endure the sight of his glory Therefore it is the best way for a soul in this case to beg earnestly for a discovery of Love and Majesty leaving it to the wise God who knows how to compound these together for the comfort and establishment of his Saints to measure out the degrees of them Oh! I cannot I cannot but admire the greatness and goodness of God and the poorness and meanness of the creature and I can set my seal to that truth That They know not what to ask aright XI That Afternoon going to a friend with whom we met some others who discours'd of the aspersions which carnal men cast upon our meetings calling us Blockheads Sots despisers of learning mine heart did fly out into vanity in laughing at such things which should rather have drawn out my soul to mourning and sighing to consider how my God whom I professed so much love to should be dishonoured by wicked men After which being come home I was dead in prayer which I lookt upon as a check to the lightness of my spirit Yet before I went to bed God did as eminently raise me and draw me out in meltings for that forementioned vanity that I could not but say the Spirit of God helped me with sighs and groans unutterable for mine heart was so full that I could not utter it in words I was very much humbled and truly I may say to his honour God did lift up my soul in a great measure above mine humiliation so that I lookt upon it as nothing but as given in upon the account of Christ Oh my soul Praise the Lord XII It is very natural for young Converts to think they are never better than when doubting and calling their state in question Ah! poor souls let me ask you what do you get by these vexatious Questions If they come with power they terrifie and then those that have them desire heartily they might be off again instance O. Again what assurance of Gods love and comforts to your souls do you get by them If thou say'st thereby thou shakest off security Let me tell thee that in shunning that rock thou fallest upon one as bad For in cherishing of such doubts thou cherishest unbelief And I dare say there is no sin doth more vail that mystery of Justification of God in Christ reconciling the world unto himself than unbelief We are to live upon Christ above all fears and are not to cherish a doubt any more than a temptation XIII Object But you 'l say What use should we then make of the examination of our hearts Answ This should be the Vse By it learn thine own misery that by the sight of it thou maist the more exalt Free-grace For this is the great mystery of the Gospel to exalt the love and free grace of God In order to which mans self must be abased Now by this abasement is not meant a sorrowful troubled and vexatious temper but such an one as is joined with humility and for tears sobs and sighs they are but accidental or rather a consequent of this Humiliation and self-abasement and not essential Wherefore you shall observe that your highest Christians they can live cheerily and yet enjoy abundantly more of God than a doubting Christian Be careful therefore of being too solicitous for troubles of spirit XIV There is another miscarriage in Saints which keeps them from a full closing with Christ and that is the multitude of their sins If think they my sins bad been but petty sins I could have gone to Christ but they are aggravated sins against love I have had hard thoughts of God blasphemous risings of heart against God such had O. who after this manner reasoned I answer That thou lookest upon Gods pardoning of sins with too carnal an eye and thinkest that in this he is like to man that because it is hard to man who is unwilling to put up the third offence as he hath done the first and second therefore it is so to God Alas this is a most gross mistake wherefore know as there be no degrees of hatred in God who is infinite so God is as fully angry at one sin as at ten thousand and may as soon punish a man for one as for a million because he who is absolutely perfect admits no degrees of love or hatred Therefore when thou lookest upon thy self as offending love as sinning against mercy eye God as making the Covenant of Grace in Christ immediately and to thee in Christ and from that aspect thou maist draw this Inference That though I change yet God cannot change For the Covenant of Grace stands firm still for he with whom God made it taking in that which some call the Covenant of Redemption stands as firmly as himself and so unmovable Whereupon my state is firm by virtue of that Covenant Now this consideration is very rational for if God made his Covenant immediately with us every time we should sin God must renew his Covenant for we should lack still a New Mediator but saith God I have made an everlasting Covenant with you which is upon the consideration of an ever-standing Christ XV. If you would know whether there be security mixed with your Faith and your dependance upon God as for the welfare of your soul 'T will be a good way to put this Question to the soul Whether it could trust God with its body in case of exigency Suppose thou didst want outward sustinence suppose God should call thee out to lay thy body at the stake for him For this is very common to Saints they can find in themselves that they do fully resign up their souls to God yet in the proposals of such cases they will find their faith begin to stagger Wherefore if thou findest thy self in this case to doubt trust God And assure thy self that he who hath drawn out thy soul in dependance as for the one will also do it for the other See as to this case Psal 78. and compare the condition of the Israelites to thine and see whether thou couldest have believed God in those things which they did not XVI Sometimes Saints are still and quiet as to the risings of corruptions as passions viz. anger c. and think it is mortified because it 's still upon applying of the soul to the blood of Christ yet if so be that particular corruption do afterwards rise again they are apt to conclude that sin was not mortified Answ Yet first we may conclude That mortification and the rising of corruption are not wholly inconsistent but may be in the same subject in different degrees For this is certain that corruptions cannot be totally subdued in this life If thou saist Why may they not be totally mortified as to the risings of them as well as for a time For I remember they were still as to the risings of them
thee Friend how camest thou hither not having on thy Wedding-garment He sees thy heart and sees thou hast it on Oh he comes and it is but to whisper thee a welcome in thine ear it is but to fall about thy neck and kiss thy be-tear'd cheeks and bid thee a kind welcome to thy bleeding Lord. Soul Oh did I think to be thus much made of I thought he would not have minded me but I did no sooner appear and set my feet within the doors but he ran to meet me he took me in his arms he brought me hither and set me here Is this a house or is it a Palace Is this a Court for Princes or for Angels Never did place more ravish me into amazement than this place Beautiful are thy gates O Zion O how pleasant is the habitation of the most high Is it the place or the company that strikes me into astonishment Now I can say most feelingly say with David My delights are with the Saints of the most high and the most excellent of the earth Their poverty their disgrace their contempt amongst whom they live do not puzzle my quick-ey'd Faith these are the Kings Daughters that are all glorious within their garments are of needle-work imbroidered over with pure gold fine-spun gold These O these hovv poor and mean soever they are or may seem to be these shall sit vvith Christ to judg the World Oh! hovv my foul is ravished vvith delight to see and look on those with whom I shall live for ever If they are so lovely now what will they be hereafter when our God shall take them and scowr off their rust and wash their Garments bright in the Sun-shine of his countenance and change those mortal and corruptible bodies into immortal and glorious ones and set them upon Thrones about himself and lade their heads with Crowns of massy gold and when I shall hear them warbling out the everlasting Praises of the Lamb whose Body and Blood we all sit down to feed on Communion-Plate Never was Gold or Silver graced thus before To bring this Body and this Blood to us is more than to Crown Kings or be made Rings For Star-like Diamonds to glitter in The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat 't is the sweetest dainties dearst morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord. Welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own heart can wish Take eat this morsel it cost my life it 's a portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his love to thee He bids thee remember a Fathers love I a Saviours He hath a heart to give thee and so have I. Take this in earnest of them both in one Take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have asked thee for thy Wedding-garment knew I not thy heart or if I were uncertain of thy love I would have scorn'd thee as unworthy of my presence did I know thou lovest any thing above me I would have hid my face and never have spoke thee a welcome so feelingly and kindly to thy soul Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost and above Father or Mother Wife or Child Lands or Living or Credit I know thou dost And wilt thou not take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I see and know the labour of thy love I remember the pains and travel of thy soul I saw thee follow me on thy knees in tears and begged my life rather than thy life I know thy heart I saw it bleeding before my Throne I took it in my arms and bound it up and in that breast I remember I put it up again I saw thee when no eye saw thee I heard thee and had compassion on thy groanings whilst thou wert complaining that I had shut out thy prayers I well remember since thy heart did first fall sick with love since the time thy flesh began to die and since thou laidst thy self in the grave down by me and wert willing to die to all this vain empty glory of the world because I died and left it I know thee well enough Thou art mine and I am thine Take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and whilst thou feedest remember the love of thy dearest Redeemer Soul Oh 't is the sweetest meat that ever tongue did tast it sends a rellish to my very heart I find it digests as it deseends I feel my nerves and sinews strengthen I never knew that bread was the staff of life till now Oh how fit is my soul now for Christ How easie do I now find his yoke how light his burden Methinks I could watch or pray or read more earnestly resolvedly believingly than ever Oh! methinks I can take his Cross and bear it strongly and take the shame and despise it fully Oh 't is a feast of fat things The richest banquet of love that ever I was at it was but a little that I took and it fills me full my hungry stomack now crys 't is enough I find it now verified to my soul and spirit that he that eats of this bread shall never hunger more Well I need not starve when there is such bread in my Fathers house I need not I will not I cannot feed any longer on husks with the swine of the world I fed on air and smoak before I never tasted substantial bread till I tasted of this This is the staff of my life and upon this will I support my self to my very grave The Wine Christ Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledg me I have broached my side and drew it on purpose for thee This is a Wine of mine own making when I trod the Winepress of my Fathers wrath It is my blood but take and drink it it was the cause of my wounding but to thy soul it shall prove healing I died and bled it was but to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-cellar and my Banner over thee shall be love Fear not take and drink thou hast an ulcer in thy heart and this shall cure it spots and stains of guilt on thy soul and this shall purge them away thy spirits are faint this shall revive thee thou art afraid to see thy Fathers face this shall make thee to draw near the Throne of Grace with boldness Drink I charge thee drink on thy love and loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy heart to mend thy wounds to cure thy spirits to revive thy fears to scatter thy soul to love and obey me take O take this cup into thy hand taste it and praise my love Soul Lord I have taken I have drunk as thou hast bid me I neither could or dare deny thee Can I refuse thy blood when I have accepted thy self Or can I accept my pardon at thy hands and
in the blood of Jesus for the pardoning of that sin and strength against it If not we may very well suspect that we did not resolve in the strength of Christ XXVII Says a poor Saint I have gone to prayer many a time and have been exceeding low and have pray'd with much carelesness just as if I were talking or telling a tale What shall I do in such a case Answ First That neither raisedness nor flatness in prayer is the reason why God heareth thee And therefore consider That in prayer thou art to approach a God-mediating a God-man and not a meer creature but thus thou dost if thou thinkest God will not hear thee except God raiseth thee thou makest raisedness the ground of thine acceptance which is but a meer created being as all other graces are Oh! Take heed then of depending upon Ashur say Ashur shall not help me but on the Lord will I depend Secondly Consider this for thy corafort that though thine heart is straitned here on earth towards God and in mourning as to thine own vileness yet Christs bowels are not in heaven straitned towards thee He is not so capable of mutability as thy condition Though thou losest thy first love yet he is the same yesterday to day and for ever Thirdly Consider that 't is Christs Intercession and pleading with his Father for thy prayer and not thy raisedness that is the ground of the return of thy prayer The consideration of Gods former dealings and dispensations of love is a good argument to move God in prayer when a soul is at a loss for love now or for strength or when God seems to hide himself as to the answering of thy request to say Lord why art thou so strange to me now Time was that thou borest me as a lamb in thy bosom and carriedst me into thy banqueting house and feedest me with love Time was that thou enravished'st my soul with a glance of thine eye what is become of thy former love hast thou shut up thy tender mercies in wrath see the Psalmist thus pleading in Psal 77. XXVIII I have been in such a temper that I have found mine heart in prayer even contradicting my tongue If for mortifying of pride in parts in learning mine heart hath been ready to say to its self that there could be no joy except in exaltation of self as good to have no learning as not to delight in it and applaud self by it truly this hath been the language of mine heart But I bless my God that he hath given me a joy and that above all that joy which creatures can possibly afford It was my non-experience of Gods love to me it was for want of spiritual enravishments that mine heart became so vain in its imaginations Oh that I could magnifie my God for this his love and goodness Again I have been sometime so carnal that I have even thought that there could be no Feaven more sweet pleasant and desirable than that which might be made up of created beings as to enjoy pleasures and never to be tired with them to please my taste in feeding and never be weary of feeding to hear the most sweet and melodious musick and never weary of hearing to delight mine eye in seeing and never be weary of seeing Thus have I delighted my soul with foolish imaginations as they soon appeared to be when God pluckt off these earthly and sensual scales from mine eyes He shew'd me more true joy in a smile of his reconciled countenance than in a Paradise made up of all the sweetest flowers which may grow in Natures garden can possibly afford me Magnifie the Lord Oh my soul and all that is within me praise his holy name For he hath been better to me than ten thousand worlds I will rejoice in thee so long as I have a being Oh my soul praise the Lord XXIX At sometimes it is hard for a man after the committing of some sin to believe that sin is pardoned and withall to mourn for it And it 's grounded on this thinks the soul what should I mourn for that which is not Answ Fear and sorrowing for sin may well be consistent with closing with a promise by faith for the taking away of guilt Observe therefore that the freeness of grace and the fulness of a promise ought no way to take off a Saints watchfulness over sin and the mourning for sin Further consider although God pardons the sin yet he ceaseth not to hate sin therefore mourn for sin because it offends him Again it is difficult for a man to think that he hath acted faith upon God for pardon of a sin when he hath not in prayer against that sin felt himself raised or his heart melted As for example after thou hast sinned whether in letting thine heart rove upon worldly businesses when thou hast been in duty at Church c. and apprehending it to arise from a carnal soul coming home thou goest to God by prayer to beg a pardon of that sin and for spiritual strength to subdue it and observing in that prayer that thine heart is not raised either in love to God or breathings after the discovery of love or else that thine heart is not melted for that sin in such a case it is hard for thee to conclude with thy self that thou hast acted faith upon Jesus Christ for the pardon of that sin For Answer I confess it is a difficult case but yet the soul may be exceedingly deceived in it Therefore it is good for such a soul to mark this that notwithstanding his present indisposition or blindness as to the discovery of pardon yet in a secret manner he may have pardon given in and hereby you shall know it That if God do afterwards a week or a month or more deaden and crucifie that corruption for thee thou maist conclude thou didst act faith in that application of thy soul to God The reason is clear because actings of faith do always accompany true Faith The instance of this is plain in Hannah she went to God to beg a Son 1 Sam. 1.7 10. And when she had done she knew not whether or no God would answer as appears from vers 11 12. but in the latter end of ver 9. we read that the Lord remembred Hannah And another example of this we have in Cornelius Act. 10.2 'T is said He was a devout man and one that feared God and pray'd to God alway And yet we read not that Cornelius knew that his prayers were accepted until the Angel came and said to him vers 4. Thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God Hence the Inference is clear That God may hear a soul and see him acting faith for a mercy when as perhaps the soul that prays could never judg of it himself But it may be objected 'T is true God may hear a soul and the soul not discover it but as for acting of
you in this case and mark his dealings with you herein that you may admire him When a man begins first to set his sace Zion-ward yea and afterwards when he hath made some progress in those ways the Devil doth exceedingly labour with such a soul to afflight â—im from the ways of holiness in suggesting that his former company will despise him and in these new ways there must be more strictness of life more tentations and trouble of spirit which kind of arguments will be apt to stagger such a soul very much because as yet they are but weak and have not such powerful principles infus'd into them as may make them strong enough to find the yoke of Christ easie Therefore it will be the best way for such a soul to resolve still to go on and assure himself that there are more joys to be found in God than in all his former courses and withall pray earnestly for the strengthening of inward principles in his soul and more spiritually in his heart to carry him through the strait gate with ease XXXIII This may be the temper of some souls that have had some assurance of their good estate that if afterwards some sin is set home upon their souls they are exceeding loth to dive into their own hearts which is accompanied with this slavish fear lest they should find all their former hopes to be meer flashes and that they have been in a carnally secure state even until now some have div'd into their hearts at such a time and God hath shown them some hypocrisie or selfishness in their former walkings whence they have concluded that if God had let them die in such a condition they had been damn'd and so after this discovery if they have had a clearer discovery of the baseness of their heart they have concluded the like of that estate By this kind of reasonings there are these disadvantages happen to such a soul First He can by no means make Gods former dealings with him subordinate to the innervating of his present condition and without a special work of the divine Spirit a man shall not gather any ground for his present condition Secondly By this he loseth a praising Spirit and he also deals disingenuously with God in not owning all his gracious dispensations to the soul The direction that I would give such an one should be this Let him know that the least grace is true grace Grace in the seed is as true grace as grace in the bud and grace in the bud as true as grace in the blossom Shall the blossom contemn the bud because it is not so fragrant and so flourishing or the bud the seed Oh! take heed of a non entertainment of divine Love I have had such quick checks of conscience that they have forc'd me to Duty to Prayer to Church to Chappel private Conferences and now I am afraid lest all these actions come meerly from checks and not from inward principles Of this thing if thou wouldst satisfie thy soul ask it whether thou hast not a Will contrary to this fleshly temper and it carries thee out to pray earnestly against that I mean not to the stilling of conscience but that God would discover to you that your duties came from more filial principles of love Bless then God for the quickness of conscience and press for strength to obey whatever conscience dictates to be according to right reason and the mind of God but on the other hand take heed of daubing it with any light gloss from Scripture as some species of good if thou do'st thou sinnest XXXIV Seeing that all the mercies of Saints have divine Love mingled among them Now I enjoy worldly blessings I know not whether they are given to me out of love to me says some poor Saint I Answer There be these three marks whereby a soul may see whether his earthly blessings are mingled with spiritual love First Mark whether they were given to you upon the account of prayer Did you beg them of the Lord upon your knees So that you may say all your mercies are the children of your prayers the births of your entreaties your health your meat and drink were wrestled for at a Throne of Grace After this manner did Hannah procure her son Samuel as we may read 1 Sam. Chap. 1. reflect now upon your self and see whether your outward mercies come this way if they do O how sweet and comfortable will they be to you you shall never look considerately upon them but your heart shall be warmed with the love of God Here you may say is a mercy and there is a blessing which I pull'd out of the bosome of divine Love as it were with mine own hand this child and that child this crumb of bread and that drop of drink are all pledges of Gods love to me these are divine influences and sparks of the flames of Gods loving-kindnesses What Adamantine heart would not such discoveries melt into love towards God what soul would not such chains of gold enravish which were both made and put about its neck with the lovely fingers of Christs hands What soul would not such a Cordial comfort which is compounded of love and goodness Mine heart is enravish'd within me whiles I think of this love and every thought that I have of it bespeaks admiration this is that which Angels admire and in which glorified Saints are immers'd these are the Chrystal streams which run before the throne of the Lamb every drop of which presents a jewel of inestimable price It is a thing rather to be admir'd than talk'd of here I could be content to dwell to eternity but I am call'd off to the second mark to discover this love in outward mercies and that is this Ask your soul this Question Whether it hath been drawn out in praises for that which you have received of God Can you say that you love God the more for them and do they engage you to serve God more if they do you may assure your self that Gods love is in every mercy you receive Thirdly Can you see them given to you upon the account of Christ Can you say that God loves you in Christ therefore God gives you this and that mercy this is one of the highest attainments of a Saint on this side glory This speaks fulness of comfort O! how sweet is it to see a reconciled Father hold forth his hand full of mercies to hear him come and say Child take this mercy and that mercy and when ever thou lookest upon them remember that I love thee O how pleasant is such a voice This cannot but work up the soul to love God and to breathe after God more than ever It is hard to distinguish betwixt an holy waiting upon God for the answer of our prayers and a kind of security which is apt to seize upon mens souls after prayer Now for answer consider this That waiting doth not impair breathings of
soul after God security doth Again Patience makes the soul more cautious of its walkings to take heed of offending God Security doth not Let a man therefore in his waiting seek for an holy restlesness of soul after God I found it in my practise hard to distinguish betwixt these two cases 1650. XXXV Men go to Ordinances as Reading Hearing Praying c. and meet not God in them The Reasons of which distemper are 1. because of the distraction of their thoughts in them and that ariseth from the temper or rather distemper of the soul exercis'd in thoughts of those things before they went which in Ordinances do distract them As for instance Perhaps a mans studies or affairs of the world and his thought of them distracts him it 's a sign he had been thinking of these things either immediately before he came or else his heart was too much carried out in the week-days after them 2 Thine heart was hard when thou wentest to hear or read and it 's no wonder if the seed falling on rocky ground that it do not grow up and bring forth fruit 3 Because thou wentest not with an open mouth and an hungry soul to the Ordinances that 's another reason why thou art neither filled nor art satisfied with divine Consolations few have gone to hearing with a full intent to hear what God would speak to them there and so have come away empty It is ordinary for Saints in a weak and low estate to put up Petitions to God as low as they themselves They think it presumption to ask the great things promis'd as Adoption Assurance c. and they are apt to think they do well in it then doubtless this came from an unbelieving heart which would seal the fountain which God hath open'd and close those arms which God hath spread open to receive sinners and to cover the breasts of consolation with a vail of modesty which God taketh not well at our hands Many Saints will complain of their hardness of heart listlesness to praying reading hearing and this is the burthen which they lie under Now if I were to advise such a soul it would be thus Let him cast all these distempers of soul upon his own self as the cause of them Let him reflect upon his conversation hath he walked close with God or hath he not given way to loosness either in his carriage he hath been too light or in his tongue too vain If he say he hath set a watch over himself and resolv'd to walk more strictly and yet hath fal'n Ans But didst thou not first let fall thy watch and then fall into sin or art thou not conscious to thy self that thou could'st walk more strictly if thou wouldst Thine own thoughts shall condemn thee thy conscience tells thee thou mayest pray more if thou wilt thou mayest read more and meditate more on what thou readest and pray more over what thou meditatest if thou wouldst O man thy judgment herein is just XXXVI It is a general complaint of Saints that they cannot get up their hearts as to mourning for the sins of others And for Answer This may cast down many a poor Saint but I would have such an one to take notice of what temper his soul is as to his own sins and if he finds his heart hard and not able to mourn for his own sins it is no wonder if it mourns not for the sins of others So then I would have thy soul in this case as thou wouldest in the other Now as for thine own sins thou canst satisfie thy self as to this case that thou canst remember God hath drawn thee out in a melting frame for them So then think thou whether at any time when thou hast been in an humble melting temper thou could'st then mourn for others sins But withall take notice of this that a mourning temper for others sins is an high attainment Therefore pray thou for it that thou mayest continually be in such a temper and that upon this account because thy God thy Father is dishonoured by their sins labour for a tender regard to Gods glory And as to mourn for the sins of others so it is hard in praying for another Saint if one hears that soul hath received that which he prayed for to believe that his prayers had an interest in his deliverance and this is the reason why he cannot find his heart carried out in praises to God for the deliverance of that soul Let such a soul take up only this consideration and know that his prayers have as much influence upon another as upon himself and so let him resolve himself But in our praying for mortification or comfort in our souls we are apt to miscarry in determining Gods time in our souls for the giving of it As for instance Suppose I pray for strength against my passions I am apt to determine Gods time to the next time I have an offer to my passion and this occasions great dejection to some who are apt to think that God did not hear neither did Christ intercede nor the spirit help in that prayer Therefore this is the advice I would give to all Saints in this case let them pray for that which they want but be sure let them withall adjoyn patient waiting upon God to the giving in of an answer Or thus I would have a man be resolv'd that God will give in an answer but let him be undetermin'd as to the time It is very difficult for a soul that hath been praying againstany particular corruption and that for a long while and yet finds his corruptions to overcome him or to get head to persuade himself that God hath heard his prayers and that Christ interceded for those prayers yet thou maist know whether Christ interceded for thee in those prayers First if thou art carried out in thy dependance upon God notwithstanding these prayers are not answered directly as to the conquest of thy particular corruption Thus he dealt with Peter saith Christ I have pray'd that thy faith fail thee not And that the prick in Pauls flesh was not quickly took away yet he had an answer Gods grace was sufficient for him Secondly If he keeps up thine heart in a continual praying against this corruption For we must know that every breathing of the soul after mortification is purchased of the Father by the death and intercession of the Lord Jesus Christ Thirdly If God answers thee as to the mortification of any corruption though not in that which thou prayedst against in particular Suppose thou prayed'st against anger or pride perhaps God will answer thee in deadning thine heart to the world and by these signs thou mayest discover the beams of love though there be a cloud that interposeth XXXVII Now we have given you a taste out of his own journal in his own words how this Pious Virtuoso besides his Philosophical and Theological studies was exercised in gathering experiments for the
the Presbytery and Prayer in a great Congregation at St. Mary-Axe Church London like a good Husband-man as he was careful when he had sown his seed with diligence in Preaching of the Word to see how it sprang up so he was to prepare the ground for the receiving of it by Catechizing his people which he was very zealous to carry on successfully as you may see by the Epistle before the short Catechism he recommended in the words he then printed To all the Inhabitants of the Parish of Newington-Butts Grace and Peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ My dear Parishioners GOD is my witness how the Salvation of your never-dying Souls is desired by me If I could not have compassionated you as men and women drawing near to that Tribunal where you shall within these few days receive your final sentence either to everlasting Happiness or Torment I had never been so earnest and importunate with you in my Pulpit for your hearty entertainment of the Lord Jesus in a sincere obedience to his Laws and unfeigned love of his person and benefits as the only way to eternal life And if the same love and tenderness had not continued in me I would never have ventured upon this toylsome laborious work of sending for you family by family to instruct you in the knowledg of that Jesus Christ through whom only you expect to find salvation If God shall be pleased to make you as willing a people to learn as he hath made me willing to spend and be spent in this service of teaching you I shall have cause to praise him to my dying day The God and Father of our Lord Jesus perswade your heart to receive his teachings of you in your Ministers that you may not shut the knowledg of himself in the Gospel out of your doors which will prove of more sad and dreadful consequence to your Souls than you imagine Amen So prays one that unfeignedly loves you and that is willing to sacrifice health strength ease and all I have in the service of your Souls Thomas Wadsworth AT the end of the Catechism he adjoyn'd an Admonition I have here presented you but with a few things to commend to your memories but if through age or other weaknesses some of you cannot get this little without book let me desire you to perfect your selves in the Creed the Lords Prayer and the Ten Commandments But however if you are Parents or Masters and Mistresses of families let me entreat you to command your Children and Servants to get the rest and to hear them say it once or twice a week you may make it part of your Lords-days work and adjoyn it to your Praying Reading or Repetition of what you heard when you come home Having laboured much in this and other ways with great success to reduce the Inhabitants of that great Parish from their disorderly living to the obedience of the Gospel After a profession of their faith Printed singly after the example of the Ministers in the Worcester-shire Association he engag'd those instructed who were willing to joyn in all Ordinances to signifie in these words I do consent to be a member of the particular Church of Christ at Newington-Butts whereof Thomas Wadsworth is Teacher and Overseer and to submit to his Teaching and Ministerial guidance and oversight according to Gods word and to hold communion with that Church in the publick worshipping of God and to submit to the brotherly admonition of fellow-members that so we may be built up in knowledg and holiness and may the better maintain our obedience to Christ and the welfare of this society and hereby may the more please and glorifie God XLI You see what pains and cost he was at for the good of the Souls under his Charge at Newington where you had before from his Hearers in Mr. Baxters Preface to his Two last Sermons a more particular account of his most exemplary and unwearied industry in his Ministerial-office And then on the Lords day in his own family when his great work was over in the publick Congregation he us'd to have Sermons repeated and he himself prayed and Sung Psalms with them yea and being well instructed of his Lord and Master who knew how to speak a word in season to him that is weary and remembring the Apostles charge for Preaching the Word 2 Tim. 4.2 to be instant in season and out of season reprove rebuke exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine He did in a time of an extraordinary long Frost when poor Watermen were sorely put to it for a subsistence set up an Expository-Lecture for four or five mornings in a week at least two months together When it pleased God to manifest his special presence with him in this seasonable work for it prov'd the means of turning several from their evil ways unto God and some who had liv'd loosely before can to this day with humility and thankfulness testifie that a work of grace was then wrought upon them So that they were seals to his Ministry and to that truth of the Wisemans Prov. 25.11 A word fitly spoken or seasonably on the wheels is like Apples of gold in Pictures of silver This was extraordinary but the other was his course whiles he continued at Newington which was till Mr. James Meggs who vouch'd himself to be Legal Rector of it forc'd him to resign that Benefice to him in August 12. Carol. 2di and put an end to all Suits only he yielded that Mr. Wadsworth should Preach there till Septemb. 29. next ensuing Though Mr. Meggs sometime before his death could not but acknowledge that however he had given Mr. Wadsworth trouble he had not before that real and legal title to Newington he had made the world believe he had But our Practical Divine had learn'd to suffer rather than to do any wrong XLII However the great God who had made much use of this choice instrument in his work would not let him as yet lye by useless For after he was remov'd from Newington by no fair dealing as before of him that succeeded besides his Lecture on Saturday mornings at S. Antholins yea and for some time likewise there at five of the Clock in the evening of the Lords days and for a Winter or two on Monday nights at Margrets Fish-street-Hill London where by the concourse of Auditors 't was evident his labours were much valued though he had low thoughts of the apprehension of men He was by the Parishioners in whose power the presentation or nomination then was chosen to be Minister of Laurence Poultney where he continued and being then a Widower and removing from the House of his intimate friend Mr. Sedgwick then marrying liv'd in the family of his worthy friend Mr. Robert de Lunà Merchant till the frowning Bartholomew 1662. when he was ejected thence and out of his Lectures as 2000 of his Brethren were elsewhere because they could not assent and consent
in several particulars 1. Sorrow is the proper consequent of sin Christians therefore so far as freed from sin are necessarily in a state of freedom from sinful sorrow slavish fear c. That liberty 2 Cor. 3. latter end is fixed to joy nothing so genuine and characteristically appendant to the state of an Adopted Child of God as joy because having the spirit he ought to rejoyce evermore and that with joy unspeakable and full of glory 2. I grant also that Saints ought to joy in one anothers society with a spiritual delight considering the Wisemans saying Prov. 15.16 Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasures and trouble therewith The company of such should be all their delight Psal 16.3 Christ himself speaks of his rejoycing in the habitable parts of his earth and his delights with the sons of men Prov. 8.31 This might be more at large evidenc'd from Scriptures 3. I must as I have had too sad a cause put in this much That as Christian liberty in other things through Satans policy is abused too too much for an occasion to the gratifying of the flesh and vanity of heart which should not be Gal. 5.13 so in this which I account if it be brought to the face vain laughter Which I shall describe in brief and then leave to spiritual judgments There is such a frame of heart in many precious Saints as this viz. Acertain sudden indeliberate and rash leaping of heart carelesly blindly and unadvisedly transported with fleshly apprehensions of some sensual ridiculousness in somewhat though never so spiritual without the soul an unreasonable jocundness a shameful discovery of the hearts nakedness and inconsiderable jovialty a carnal unaccountable tripudiation in cases never so serious yea sometimes when most serious a delightful frenzy an irregular itching of the laughing faculty Alas I cannot but say I have sound mine own heart sometime like a feather following the puff of any ridiculous object up and down according to the less or greater impression which any vain foolish matter made upon my sense I had occasion to cry out June 18. O the filthy emptiness of my weak heart arising from those troubled steams within me This I could then count nothing but a fuzze of vanity a bubble of corruption a carnal dancing of the careless sons the bane of reason and poyson of Religion Carnality therefore and vanity are the formal Constitutives of this distemper Vanity I say and lightness in an untameable predominancy The internal cause of it is the loosness and rottenness of such a soul as is void of the actual exercise or power of reason discretion and judgment but it is promoted cherished and enlarg'd from some particular circumstance in the object ab extra let into the unsetled mind and indisposed heart by the quick convoy of the bruitish senses which causes this lightness I speak of or an unaccountable or over-powerful frame of laughing upon the presentation of the imagination or understanding either of a very serious thing grace or carriage of a person apprehended under the notion of his being usually familiar or light or more nearly I mean spiritually related to the soul thus distempered having for its external rise or occasion ex parte objecti that very thing ordinarily which to a rectified and considerative mind should rather be a cause of sorrow or serious humble rejoycing namely sometimes 1. Anothers expression of the like vanity 2. The more precious serious or so apprehended Saint his casting his eyes fixedly upon thee 3. Such a familiar Saint his relation either of some great sin or some special act of divine grace in any spiritual working of soul or his putting a light soul on any more singularly advantageous duty suppose Prayer out of a serious heart 4. The external efficient cause of this distemper is Satan who perceiving the heart loose at the bottom easily disposed to lightness of spirit makes it more vain and causeth other objects to take 5. As the cause of this distemper is very bad because corruptio optimi est pessima so the effects are and proportionably worse Take it thus in the lump It 's scandalous and a temptation to others it makes one uncredible as to any spiritual thing done or urg'd by one in such a frame yea it renders a more serious mood suspicious upon the same account it grieves true Saints and delights the Devil In respect of ones self it causes accordingly as it is more prevalent a general indisposition to all acts of Religion and sense of God it deprives a man of all spiritual communion either with God or his Saints for it takes away seriousness which is the considerate fixedness of the soul as to acts of reliance on Christ for strength against it and lastly it hinders sympathizing with other Saints especially as to mourning 6. There be connexed with this distemper while it is in act upon the soul 1. Pride self-applauding no self-abasing apprehensions 2. Security of heart no sense of the Lords being dishonoured Having seen these particulars opening the nature of lightness or carnal laughter the concerning Question is XLVI How may I distinguish betwixt Christian joys and this kind of laughter Answ First Spiritual joy and the expressions thereof be it in smiles or other gestures is still competent and consistent with the hearts well-disposedness towards God and all spiritual things because it is the fruit of the spirit Gal. 5.22 This doth as it were oyl the Chariot-wheels of the soul disposing it better to communion with God and all spiritual activity Yea seeing it ariseth from some love of God and Christ in him darted into the soul it fits the soul more for Christ and inflames it towards him by this the apprehensions of God are not extinguished but sweetned not diminisht but rather enlarg'd Whereas è contra the frame before mentioned dims the light of grace which by the spirit hath been sown in the soul it quenches the spirit of divine Union and so estranges the soul from God it sets the door open to backsliding and profaneness of heart and we see it is the nurse of profaneness in our spiritual backsliding Get a soul into never so high an attainment this will cast him down and betray him so that the soul hereby is brought to a strange loss seeing the spirit through such vanity of mind is sent away with grief and sadness I could produce a most remarkable instance of one a most precious one amongst us who by this means and the subtilty of Satan was cheated of very much spiritual comfort Secondly Spiritual joy and the expression thereof in cheerfulness consists with prudence and discretion so that a man may be spiritually joyous and yet behave himself fuitably to occasions persons and circumstances but this laughing frame puts a soul upon absurd unbeseeming and unsuitable carriages as laughing when one goes to sympathize with a soul broken for sin See Partic. 3d. above Thirdly
of his Father but March 25. 1672 he follow'd his Mother Upon the loss of him then his only child whom he greatly affected his mournful but religious Father set a fair copy to others of much Christian patience and submission to thei will of God He had staid three years a Widower from the death of his second and then Decemb 14. 1670 took to his third Wife with the good liking of her Parents Anna sole Daughter to Colonel Henry Markham one of an ancient Family and a Gentleman of his Majesties Privy Chamber By whom he had first Anna then Hester afterwards Thomas and lastly Nathaniel all these four he left alive but this last Son when he was about a year and an half old departed this life to go and rest with his Father gone about a twelve-month before LIV. It seems this famous servant of Christ was in Decemb. 1672 well nigh four years before his death by some illness at Theobalds admonisht of his frailty and being come to London as to preach his usual course so also to advise with a Physician for his health upon those symptoms were then upon him during which time in his house at Pickle-Herring he was suddenly surpriz'd with a kind of fainting fit that occasion'd some failure of spirits and sweatings which did a little startle him Hereupon by and by he call'd for a Candle went up stairs and retir'd himself into a private room not permitting either his Wife or Sister then to accompany him but addrest himself to God alone as one summon'd by him it might be shortly to appear before him Then after a while return'd to his dear Wife c. upon his coming down they observ'd an admirable raisedness of spirit in him who then greatly blessed God for a cold sweat and a trembling pulse which had occasion'd him to look more narrowly within where finding all well to his great comfort he behav'd himself as one that was not afraid then of an arrest to Judgment We find him indeed in his Memorials upon a former sickness from March 6th till the 16th recording I was cast into a fit of sickness God brought me into a wilderness but spake kindly to me He afflicted me but for a moment About a week after he adds I was exceeding well much melted having an eye open'd to see God in prayer by faith as if I spoke to any of my familiars This humble confidence of going to God as his Father was rais'd as he elsewhere where notes from discoveries of mortification and purity in heart And besides this he lays it down afterwards That Nothing speaks Adoption fuller than the discoveries of Gods love either to the answering thy prayers with reference to mortification and strength in grace or comfort Joh. 15.15 And adds The readiest way to come to spiritual disveries of the Mystery of the Gospel-promise is to do the commands of God Joh. 7.17 He was a sincere doer of Gods will and such God heareth LV. When in perfect health he would be thoughtful of changes and therefore would often pray that God would prepare him and his for sickness death and parting About half a year before his last sickness when he had exceeding sharp pain he said He would not have been without it to have been without those joys he felt by it Being resolv'd to leave his more expensive habitation at Theobalds to live in Southwark nearer to his old charge It seems the Family and Friends talking somewhat cheerfully of their removal his Eldest Daughter Anna then a Child betwixt four and five years old said unexpectedly What if my Father should go to London and die He was so apprehensive of a dying hour that he said after His Girl whom he had a great love for was a true Prophetess 'T was about three weeks and odd days before he died that he came to his house at Pickle Herring Stairs having preacht the first of those two last Sermons published on the eighth of October and the last on the 15th 1676. The next day following he was chearful in the morning but then afterwards that day his pains came upon him he possessed his own soul in more than ordinary patience And was not willing to confult a Doctor till the 24th after a week of extream pain night and day then with great importunity he was prevail'd with to send for one in great reputation for skill and practise Who conceiv'd at the first visit that it was the Stone not questioning at all but that he would do well notwithstanding This was on the Tuesday Octob. 24th That night after he slept well whereupon with a thankful heart to God he told some of his friends how he had been carried through Saying I am like a man who had gone over a precipice and looking back trembled to see the danger he had past through For saith he when I was in pain God supported me and now I stand amaz'd how I got through it He indeed did use often to say when he had seen others in great pain he was afraid of dying i. e. of the antecedent pains he might pass through but he was not afraid of being dead He knew full well that Death which was the dissolution of his soul and body would only open the passage to his soul to be for ever with the Lord. LVI On Wednesday 25th he rose pretty cheerful and spent some time in reading but after dinner his pains return'd again when he began to complain of sin saying Ah! vile sinner God is carrying me back again into the Wilderness to afflict me expressing some sorrow of heart but without any murmurring Then he bid his Wife to read the 88 Psalm by that time she had done Justice Reading and some other friends came to visit and condole with him Afterwards about seven of the Clock that night came in his second Wifes Brother Mr. W. Gibb's going for Bristol the next morning and his dear Wife Mrs. Sarah Gibbs who greatly respected and dearly loved this choice Servant of the Lord she indeed was a gracious Woman of a most sweet temper a choice one of his dear flock who since went to rest with him her faithful Pastor in glory Jan. 27. 1679 These were discoursing about his taking a Countrey-house nearer to London than Theobalds To which he replyed with much composure of spirit Yea God will provide me a Countrey meaning an Heavenly one Then his former Wifes Son Thomas Sharp 〈◊〉 about to go to Sea and come into the room He told him It was not likely they two should meet again here Whereupon he gave him with tears a most Pathetical Exhortation to mind his souls spiritual and eternal welfare and to serve God holily righteously and soberly in this present world which shew'd his great and conscientious solicitude for the real happiness of this young man committed to his charge The night after his great pains did again return with much acuteness And LVII On Thursday morning 26th he had sharp pains
some of your lights But yet I must needs tell you that when God doth deprive you of so many hundreds of as Pious and Laborious and as learned Ministers some of them as any are in the Vineyard I say when God deals thus with you I cannot think that it is in mercy to you but in judgment The Church of England is a great people and there are many poor souls in it that are as firebrands in the fire that have great need to be pluckt out And as there are blessed be God many Eminent Ministers at this day in England to snatch poor souls as firebrands out of the fire yet I say that where there is one we have need of ten He liv'd to see the prediction verified in the great Plague the Dutch War and what succeeded till 1676. What evils have been since they who love the Lord Jesus in sincerity can well observe 5. A Sermon in the Supplement to the Morning-Exercise at Cripplegate about Practical Cases of Conscience viz. Sermon XII published 1674. wherein he hath clearly shew'd how it doth appear to be every Christians indispensable duty to partake of the Lords-Supper From 1 Cor. 11.24 This do in remembrance of me 6. A Sermon in the Morning Exercise against Popery viz. Sermon XXIII published 1675. on Heb. 10.12 But this man after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever sate down at the right hand of God Whence he made it evident against the Papists That Christ crucified is the only divine and proper sacrifice of the Gospel and being once offered was so compleatly efficacious as that it took away sins fully and for ever 7. Separation no Schism being a full and sober vindication of the Nonconformists from the charge and imputation of Schism in Answer to a Sermon preached before the Lord Mayor by J. S. This Printed 1675. 8. His Last warning to secure sinners being his two last Sermons concerning the certainty and dreadfulness of the future misery of all ungodly sinners wherein his fervency of spirit in serving of the Lord is very conspicuous This last was published shortly after his death LXII Concerning these Posthumous Remains which now appear abroad though they have not those Polishings which might have been given to them by the last hand of their excellent Author yet they should not be under valued 'T is very well known he was no slave to his syllables As to that which he himself published of the Souls Immortality in his Epistle to the Reader he there tells him He must not expect from him a fine set of words or flourish of phrases and that he was not for the pleasing of the fancy with such toys yea in a Epistle oâ— his to his Hearers prefix'd to his serious Exâ—ortation to an Holy Life He tells them in Print sometime before he left Newington I tell you I dare do any thing for your sakes yea hazard the reputation of my discretion rather than be thought defective in my care for your never-dying spirits Great souls regard the substance more than circumstances and the attaining their great end more than acquiring some trivial plumes of reward you may be assured there hath been all care and sincerity used in what in this Preface or elsewhere hath been transcribed out of his own Copies to give you his genuine sense in his own words But where there may be slips and defects discovered which the learned Author himself could have easily rectified had he been alive and design'd to have made these things useful in this way Candid Readers who have a love to the deceased will be ready to overlook them without any impeachments of the Authors worth or the Publishers integrity the doing of good to souls being the design of these last as well as of him whose Memory is blessed And if any hastily conceit some particulars might have been left out they would do well to consider that particulars are more pungent and affective than generals and how that the choicest Saints of God in the Scriptures did note their own infirmities and by what means they had helps against them and were victorious over their corruptions Further This may engage serious Christian Readers more especially Relatives to watchfulness and resolutions of practising according to such examples as have through Christ behav'd themselves acceptably to God For as one said well The lives of holy men do teach us what ought to be done and at once convince us that it may be done And therefore another hath pertinently observ'd That the Historical parts of the Scriptures are little other than Annals and Descriptions of the Lives of the Patriarchs Judges Kings Prophets c. The Meditations here published most of them were gotten into the hands of Booksellers two several Copies of which we have seen besides the Original These might with the Letters and some of the Poems which were also in several hands have crept abroad more to the disadvantage of the Author whose happy memory hath herein been sincerely consulted so were the two Sermons taken in Short-hand and offered for gain to be Printed being they were greatly desired by some of his dear friends and beloved people which things laid together with good hopes they may be useful occasion'd a yielding they should be Printed as they now are Errors of the Press excepted knowing the holy Author did evermore seek the profiting of others rather than any praise from them to himself In the close of his little Manual for an holy life his own words are I write not to please all but to profit some If the Lord shall please to bless it to that end it will content me though it doth not thee In his Meditations as you have them you find he is very Pathetical and in his Poetique vein we may easily discern he did all along breathe after that heavenly state he is gone to possess And who knows how much his sanctified fancies and holy ejaculations may raise the affections of others that read them to the life of God He being somewhat musical did compose and in private make use of these Hymns c. for that purpose In his own Memorials out of which much of this Preface is compos'd he hath left this general direction I shall here subjoyn in his own words viz. That soul who would be true to himself as to the enjoyments of God Let him labour to get up his heart into a praising temper For doubtless there is nothing speaks more pure Saintship and Holiness in the soul than when it is carried out in Praises My reason is this because Praises do purely terminate upon God without any reflexion upon such actions as are most purely holy And here examine this case whether a man can love God absolutely for himself or only relatively as he doth discover himself to a soul He wrote some other things as particularly an Answer to a piece of Mr. Pen and Whitehead at the instance of a Theobalds neighbour to whom he gave
a Copy of it for his satisfaction He was also in hand with an Answer to Mr. Lamb's Stop to Separation shewing the weakness of his arguings We find also some solid reasons of his own practise in dissenting from the present National Ecclesiastical establishment in the point of Conformity And that he was drawing a parallel of Mr. Medes and Dr. Hammonds Expositions of the Revelation with an Examination of Dr. Hammonds And somewhat more particular he was writing concerning the Millemium and the right stating of it as he apprehended carrying it always with great mildness and kindness towards those Brethren from whom he did in any thing dissent about these controverted points lest any unseemly heats amongst Evangelical Ministers should occasion people to have less regards to those undoubted truths and essentials of the Christian Institution wherein they were cordially agreed But though he had made some progress in these and other things yet he did not live to finish them However the last doth appear to be pretty well compleated We shall conclude having prayed that these now published may do good to souls especially those who desired them with that of the beloved Divine Rev. 14.13 Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth yea saith the Spirit that they may rest from their labours and their works do follow them An ELEGY on the Lamented Death of the Reverend Mr. THOMAS WADSWORTH sometime Minister of St. Mary Newington-Butts and after for a short time of St. Laurence Poultney London October 29. 1676. WELL may the Church now wash her wounds with tears When her best blood from every vein appears If the sound members be cut off so fast Sure the whole Body 'll pine away at last For when our dear Right Hands and Eyes are gone The sorry stump will seek Consumption And every one like that Disciple cry Joh. 11.16 Let us go Partners in his fate and dye The Ark is Israel's Chariot but when Death Pursues its chiefest Horsmen out of breath Well may our Wheels be taken off and we Be driven to despair of Remedy If God proceed to fill his Garner so With Lab'rers whom we need so much below Such chaff as we almost justly fear God hath no Isra'l to be gather'd here And if provoked Justice should begin To whet its â—word and thrust its Sickle in Oh dreadful Harvest when the Reaper claims The whole for fewel to Eternal flames God's naked Vineyard cannot but decay If skilful Dressers be thus call'd away And how can we expect but that they will When we 're thus barren in a fruitful Hill Laden with such Wild Grapes as vengeance hath Adjudged to the Wine-press of his wrath The firmest stakes in all our Hedg we see Pluckt up by the same hand successively And God's just counsel sure of us in store Is to lay waste and to replant no more Hedges of thorns there are not for defence But only set to gore our Innocence Wild-Bores of ' he Roman forrest may invade By us there can be no resistance made For at these Breaches they 'll come in and then Whose skill or strength shall drive them out agen The little Foxes spoil our tender fruit And who can take them ' nless the Keepers do 't Doctrine and Worship like two Clusters stand Exposed to be snatcht by ev'ry hand And they who boldly dare call evil good May give us poyson next instead of food Well may the Philistins now proudly boast When all our Champions leave the wounded Host Now that the danger 's greatest and they think In heat of War to give us blood to drink So we who hop'd to see Goliah's fall Follow our Leaders to their Funerall When such as these defie God's mighty Name Who shall stand forth to vindicate the same For they that knew it best have left us here To strive at once with Ignorance and Fear Suspecting Error 't is an easie crime In weaker eyes to shun the Truth sometime And when our light is gone men in the dark Will bring their Tinder to a Wild-fire spark When Reason climbs the Throne we stand in doubt Whether our Faith may cast this Hagar out But now those Eagles face the Sun whose flight Hath made their Faith to vanish into sight No Veil within that Temple therefore they Have open vision and perfect day These Palm-trees once adorn'd our Sion-Hill And though by Death cut down they flourish still But in another soil and Countrey where They only now a weight of glory bear And other pressures taken off they soare Above those skies they could not reach before No other Canaan now but that is known With Milk and Honey always overflown Rivers of pleasure run on ev'ry hand Like channels cut throughout this promis'd Land From future Evils they 're escap'd while we Survive to feel the threaten'd misery For 't is most certain when the Bridegroom's friends Are called home God's Marriage-Treaty ends Which after such remisness and neglect Is but what foolish Virgins might expect Thus what they feared and predicted too May be accomplisht in our final woe And though the Messengers are gone we find Their message in full force shall stay behind Like to that Church above Truth will appear To shame Despisers yet Triumphant here Among that throng whose souls have lately fled Out of their Bodies to embrace their Head This Man of God hath taken wing to taste Whether the best Wine be reserv'd till last There he is proving what he prov'd before Now in the Ocean then upon the Shore That Immortality of which each line Partakes and thereby proves it self divine Thus in his Book beside his own intent He rais'd himself a lasting Monument Wherein his Name shall live and Readers come Like devout Pilgrims visiting his Tomb. And as his Faith the fears of Death ' orecame So shall those Papers evidence the same For what he had by Reason taught long since He after learned by expertence His Agonistick Tortutes and his Pains Screw'd up his joyful foul to higher strains Of Triumph and when nature struggled he Obtain'd by Grace the greater victory Wonder and Pity both were mov'd in those Who were spectators to his pangs and throws Well might all such conclude that saw him then That dying Saints are somewhat more than men For when he smarted most by 's Father's Rod Still our dear Thomas cry'd My Lord my God As seeing now his wounded hands and side Whom he had preacht through weakness crucify'd Thus Patience had its perfect work at length Like one whose Conflict had increas'd his strength He triumph'd over all and did commit His soul to him that had redeemed it His Course so finisht he at last sat down And he that first won souls then won the Crown These Works now follow him while he 's possest Of 's full reward in Everlasting rest Faithful in all God's House like Moses still H' obey'd the Sov'raign Legislative Will Observ'd the Pattern in the Mount
although Men's wanton fancies would not have it so But by God's Post attempt to set their own As if that were too weak to stand alone 'T was not Event but Duty which his Eye Fixt as the measure to be guided by His Courage in this warfare was so great Nothing could ever force him to retreat But still he kept his ground as who should say If I lose that I also lose the day Therefore let Enemies do what they can My fear of God hath drown'd the fear of Man Thus did he sow in tears till now at last To him this low'ring stormy season 's past And his full sheaves of Glory make amends For light afflictions with what far transcends He liv'd belov'd and dy'd bewail'd and such Wh ' enjoy'd him most enjoy'd him not too much His Body's Earthen-vessel henceforth must Be laid up silent in its native dust Until that matter when the Trump shall sound Start with another form out of the ground He walks in his uprightness but the sense Of this his sleep should make our Diligence That when with Christ the Judg among the train Of Saints and Angels he shall come again Then in that General Assembly we May sing these Sion-songs eternally S. O. Not worthy to unloose The Latchet of his Shooes To the Reader on the Picture and Book HERE you may see some Lines of Wadsworth's face More of his thinking pow'r sublim'd by Grace His Sacramental thoughts in Prose are sweet His Sermons lively Fancies walk on feet His Letters great affections shew'd when young Yet all fall short of Wadsworth's Pulpit-Tongue A Pathetical Meditation on the Passion of Christ to be read by Communicants before their reception of the Sacrament of the Lords-Supper Quest WHat is the Sacrament of the Lords-Supper Ans It consists of two visible signs Bread and Wine which by the Lords appointment was to represent to the receiver his bloody death that so his Disciples may keep it fresh in their memories Q. But is it only to remember that there was a Christ and that he was crucified and no more Ans Experience tells us that such a bare remembrance as that doth little move upon the heart and upon the affections and so will do little or no good It is not the remembrance of any mans death that doth of it self affect me but as I consider him as a father or as a husband or as a friend with many other expressions of his love to me when living this will exceedingly work upon the heart so as to cause sorrow and grief and the like Quest What is it then that I must call to mind when I think upon a bleeding and dying Christ so as to affect my heart Answ The cruel and bloody nature of his Death here you may consider the whole story of his Arraignment his being betrayed by his own Apostle his being spit upon and crowned with thorns his being mocked and jeered by putting a reed into his hand instead of a scepter afterwards his bearing of a Cross and his being nailed to it in his hands and feet after that his being pierced through with a spear this Mat. 27. will fully acquaint you with Secondly the causes of his Death it was no natural disease neither was it for any evil done of his own but for us He bore our iniquities upon the cross Thirdly the effects of his death which was to obtain power of his Father to conquer the Devil and pull us out of his hands to break our hearts and to conquer us to himself to pardon our sins and to give unto us eternal life with himself in glory and this upon our faith and sincere repentance Now from all these things are your Meditations to be raised before you come to the Sacrament and when you are receiving of it An Example of Meditation I have here set you down as followeth Away these wanton wandering worldly thoughts you are clogs to my soul Away all trifling worldly business I cannot now attend your call my heart hath now something else to do Adieu my Friends farewell my Husband Wife and Child I must go see my bleeding Lord that 's dearer to me than you all Come now my soul thou art alone thou knowest the way make hast and speed look yonder see how the people flock cross but this vale and climb but up this Mount thou wilt soon arrive at bloody Golgotha where thou shalt see thy bleeding and dying Saviour to sigh and linger out a dying life on the Cross in love for thee This this might Oh my soul have been thy day and thou might'st have been the prisoner this I say might have been the day in which thou might'st have drunk the bitter cup of the fierce anger of God But look yonder there he goes that must drink up the dregs and all for thee Look again there he goes that must lay down his life that thou maist be reprieved But come my soul draw up a little nearer thou canst not see him well at so great a distance stand here and thou wilt see him passing look there he goes with a train of Virgins following But see how cruelly these barbarous Jews do use him they make him bear his Cross himself and press his wearied fainting limbs above his strength see how they laugh and scoff and wag their heads as if he were their May-game Methinks my heart boils up with rage to see these cruelties revenged Oh! how could the blessed God forbear to see his blessed Son thus wronged Why did he not send twelve Legions of Angels for his rescue Why doth he not send down fire from Heaven upon the heads of these his Sons enemies and so consume them But stay my foelish heart thou knowest not what spirit thou art of this debt was owing and it must be paid God requires so much and it must be given or thou canst not be saved Thy Lord did know this well enough for this he came from Heaven and committed himself to the rage of men he knew he must endure all these revilings and doth it grieve thy soul to see him thus abased Stay but a while and thou shalt see him more look up my soul come tell me what thou seest Oh I cannot sorrow tyes my tougue I cannot speak I see and hear those things that I want a power to utter I see a troop of Virgins following him their weeping eyes their blubbering lips their sighs and throbbings speak them mourners I see my Lord looks towards them and kindly chides their loving sorrow Why weep ye Oh ye Daughters of Jerusalem weep not for me My Lord what need was there for that question Should not they weep when thou must bleed Would not their eyes have been flints if that then they should not drop tears for thee when as thou wert about to pour out thy life and blood for them Ah! could they chuse or do less then weep to see thine innocent self among a herd of Tygers what should
sentence thou canst not send me into worser than flames or punish me longer than everlastingly Christ answers Oh how my bowels turn this sinner knows not what is in my heart he thinks I am his enemy Sinner shake off thy fears and wipe thine eyes thou shalt not die The Sinner speaks again Oh thou glorious God or Angel or I know not what to call thee do not delude or deride a poor Caitiff wretch in the midst of misery Why wilt thou raise me to such a pinacle of hope to cast me down and make my fall the greater My Judg hath passed the sentence I must die and who can reverse the doom Ah! I must go see my prison-door wide open the smoke and flashes come to meet my despairing soul half way Christ speaks And now my heart begins to break my love can keep no longer in how causelesly doth this wretch torment his heart he knows not who I am I must reveal my self Sinner I love thee I say thou shalt not die Come feel my heart and pulses how they beat and tell how strong my love within doth act them Dost thou not see I have left my Throne and am come down to the Bar where thou standest condemned But why dost thou weep Come let me wipe thine eyes and bind up thy bleeding and despairing heart I tell thee thou shalt not die If Heaven will have blood it shall have mine so it will but spare thine Sinner if thou knewest who I am thou wouldst not doubt one tittle I tell thee I am his Son his only Son that but now condemned thee I know he is just and justice must be fatisfied But do not thou fear if one of us must die it shall be I I will pour out my blood a sacrifice for sin and appease his wrath and make you friends again Ye innumerable company of Angels yet servants at my Fathers will why do ye rejoice to see my prisoner sent to Hell this cursed soul over whom in glory you do now triumph I do resolve to die for and to buy her to my self a Spouse and to make her blessed with your selves and give her a Princess's place on a Throne that is by my self Sinner speaks Is this a dream or am I waking the goodness greatness glory of this sudden unexpected blessed change tempts me to doubt whether it be true or whether it be some unruly fancy that doth delude this wretched heart of mine What! for the Son of God to debase himself so low as to take my nature and so my cause and become the prisoner What! and though he knows he shall be cast Will he hear the sentence and quietly bear bolts and shackles and chains which should have fettered me Yet more than this Doth he know it is impossible to get a reprieve from his Father and Judg and that he must most assuredly drink the bitterest dregs of Death more bitter than Devils or damned souls in Hell as yet ever tasted of For it is impossible the Cup should pass And can he will he dare he venture But stay I must be a Spouse to be exalted from this Dunghil to be a Princess to the Son and Heir of Glory Hold hold here 's enough it is a Dream an idle fancy of a distempered brain I shall never find a heart to believe one syllable But yet methinks if it be a dream 't is a Golden one Is it possible that such a damned wretch as I could harbour such silken gilded thoughts of such love grace mercy and tenderness of the Son of God Oh my heart if they were not true how came they into my mind or how came they to stay or could they if but meer fictions make such a change in my heart Could they so victoriously conquer all my fear silence all my doubts allay the heats of a scorched and be helled Conscience But why a dream poor wretched heart Didst thou not see him step off his Throne Was it a time to dream or sleep in when thou wert before the Judgment-seat while God was frowning and the Devils dragging thee to and fro to get thee away to Hell Oh then just then he stept down drew near and took thee by the hand and spoke these reviving words to thee Doubt this and doubt thy judgment But why a dream I am not now in Hells torments whither I was just now sentenced My heart is now at ease and quiet surely something must be the reason why the Devil that but now had hold of me hath left me Where is the Conscience that but now was burning in me But Oh cannot the presence of the Lord put me out of doubt Do not his words that were so kind his tender dealing with me doth not his stooping to me taking me by the arm and the gentle lifts that he gives to my drooping soul speak him present Oh! do not my head eyes arms heart breast and the ease of every joint and limb about me witness the same A way my unbelieving heart what a stir is here to make thee believe a thing so evident Doubt my mind and freely doubt I'â—e give thee leave when thou hast any occasion or reason for it But why should I doubt that which is past all doubt May I not believe my senses I both saw and heard him speak the words or shall I misdoubt his faithfulness I know he is the Son of God he cannot lye But is it true yet my God I pray thee be not angry with my scrupulous heart thou seest in tears I make the doubt let it be an argument to me of sincerity I do not ask that question as one that would be fain perswaded it's true Canst thou think my Lord that I would not be reconciled and cheerfully accept of Grace when thou so freely offerest it Oh but Lord speak these words to my heart which thou hast already spoke to my ear and thou wilt melt it into love and thankfulness and I shall never doubt it more Object But yet but what can Heaven love so much Answ Thou silly worm how idly dost thou question must Heaven and so its love be bound up to so narrow and contracted thoughts as thine are What can God love no more than thou canst Love is a perfection and God is infinitely perfect so must be infinitely and incomprehensively loving Thou fool go found the Sea and tell me its greatest depths give me the height of yonder Stars this possibly thou maist do for the Seas are not so deep but they have a bottom nor the Stars so high but they may by art be known But Oh the heights and depths and breadths and lengths of the love of our Redeemer He is God and his breasts are so full of love that they flow and overflow with love they have no bottom Do but try my soul cast thy self into this bottomless lovely Ocean into this endless Bosom and when thou hast been sinking millions of millions of years tell me whither
through the merits of his Death and sufferings Come tell me is not this thy language I know thou darest not to speak so much in words But ah my Heart I find thou hast got a Tongue as well as my Mouth that often mutters and speaks a different language But tell me if thy unbelief hath any ground for it What makes it then that thy self is so free from fears and terrours when thou shouldst believe the Almighty of thy Bodies Death Resurrection and coming to Judgment if thou thoughtest him not thy friend and reconciled to thee in his Son if not methinks thy fears should fright thee and trembling seize on every joint and yet thou wilt foolishly mutter against thine own feeling Soul speaks O blessed God! I feel thou hast overcome I yield I yield I have not left a word to speak against thy love thy Son hath offered satisfaction and thou hast accepted it thou hast laid down O my Saviour thy life for mine and thy Father and my Father is well pleased with it Blood is paid Justice is satisfied Heavens doors are widened thine arms opened to receive me nothing is wanting but my heart make it such as thou wilt have it and then take it to thy self Come up my soul thou hast an heart and there is a Christ the Father thou feest is willing and the Son is willing give but thy consent and he is thine for ever Fear not thy hardness blindness deadness loathsomeness all these cannot hinder if thou be but willing He hath been in the world to ask the worlds consent already and also thine thou canst not doubt of his good-will speak but the word and he hath thine too What stickest thou at surely thou art a sluggish spirit what dost thou ail Half of this ado would find a heart for a little mire or dirt or something else that is worse and is not Christ better But ah yet I feel a spice of unbelief still working in thy very bowels as if that Jesus that died at Jerusalem were not the Son of God and the Redeemer of the world And is this all O were I certain thou wouldst ne're doubt more how freely should I make satisfaction But Oh! I faint and tire with the trips and stumblings of my unbelief But mount my soul thou must resolve to tire and put to silence all thy unbelieving bablings or they will thee which if they do never expect an hours peace or quiet more thou must resolve to conquer thy unbelief or to be conquered thou knowest her tyranny too well to let her go away the victoress He was not the Christ thou sayest but tell me why Object His Parentage was too low and mean what the Saviour of the world a Carpenters Son how can it be Answ My unbelief in the first place thou lyest his Mother was a Virgin and her Conception knew no Father but the Almighty power of the overshadowing Holy Ghost he was more truly the Son of God than Joseph's Son And was his birth thinkst thou so mean whose Parentage was so glorious Object His birth but mean and beggarly no sooner born but cradled in a manger and could Heaven suffer this Answ It is confest But yet it was as glorious for did not a Star proclaim him born and did not a whole Host of Angels sing and shout it up for joy and did not wise men yea and Kings bring Incense Myrrh and Frankincense being but as so much tribute unto the new-born King and heir of all things as if by instinct they knew they held their Crowns of him a greater honour than ever any new-born Prince hath yet received before him or ever shall or will do after him Methinks my unbelieving heart I could dare to tell thee that room was no stable it was a Palace and did not the cost presents and glorious presence of Kings speak as much Object But his days were spent in poverty meanness and disgrace and can I dare I trust my soul with such a one and take him to be the Son of God Answ And now I wonder at thee it's true what thou fayest if thou lookst upon him one way his life was such as thou tellest me of but 't is a strong argument against thy self for just such a one was the Christ to be according to the Prophets the 53 Chapter of Isaiah shews as much But yet if thou truly understandest what true pomp and glory means even to an eye of sense as well as to that of faith Solomon's life imbroidered with all his glorious acts was not comparable to this life of his Was it not filled with miracles and wonders was he not proclaimed the Son of God with voices from Heaven did he not conquer Devils and therefore the Kingdom of Hell Was ever Prince on Earth honoured with so great a Conquest Were not his miraculous Feasts more splendid than those of Princes the fare was but poor and mean but the miracles made it rich and glorious Had I been present should I not have wondered and gazed more at the Master of this Feast and have taken more pleasure to have seen him sit down with these five thousands than with a Table full of Princes and great men Alas it were a trifling sight to this Methinks my unbelief that pleads so much for sense sense it self pleads too strongly against thee for thou canst not argue one syllable Object But would the Son of God be hanged and crucified could Heaven have suffered this could not the Saviour of the world save himself how could he then save me Answ Hadst thou not the blindness of the Jews thou couldest not reason thus like them but was it not necessary it should be so Did not the Prophets foretell his death and such a death Had he not died and died as he did I might then have had some ground to doubt him whether he were the Messias or not for it was needful that the Prophesies should be fulfilled Dan. 9. But yet as wretched and as contemptible a going out of the world as he had and his manner of dying on the Cross how vile soever it seemed to be yet was there not enough to silence all the doubts that could possibly from thence arise and much for the confirmation of my faith in the wonderful Eclipse of the Sun the rending of the veil of the Temple the opening of the Graves the raising of the dead and afterwards his own rising the third day and ascending up to Heaven in a Cloud If my faith might have staggered in seeing him on the Cross dying it could not when it saw him risen and in the Clouds ascending Object But were those wonders true and certain Answ But hast thou any ground to doubt them are they not written in thy Bible and art thou not certain that it is the word of God or hast thou not sufficient reason to believe it to be so But hast thou not a whole Nation yea Nations that do believe the
earnestly beg of God on thy knees as if thou wert pleading for thy life that God would humble thee and give thee more love to himself and to the rest of thy brethren and take heed likewise of angering them O that thou wouldst but practise this truly truly I should rejoice Angels in Heaven would rejoice as it is written The Angels rejoise at the conversion of a sinner Secondly Look that thou readest the Scriptures diligently every day and let this be thy first work in the morning and the last at night And if thou canst not understand go to God and beg that he would give thee more light and if thou dost this likewise happy shalt thou be And seeing it is late before you go to supper and bed therefore thou maist set apart some time for this duty in the afternoon And this you must do and then wait upon God for a blessing And truly do but reflect on your self and tell me what 's the cause of all that gross ignorance which is in you Truly 't is because you read little in the Scripture and other good Books And if perhaps you read a Chapter now and then it is either because you are forc'd to it or because you would read some story in the Old Testament only to recreate your carnal mind Let me but ask you this one question Do you when you take the Bible in your hand consider it is the book of God and if you do not practise what you read it will turn to your condemnation Do but consider this thing seriously and the God of Heaven bless it to your soul Now I pray and entreat you not to slight this which I have said but turn it into practise And it will be my desire thâ—t you will write this out fair that thou maist read it sometimes and maist know that thy brother loves thy soul as dearly as his own What I have now writ unto thee in particular thou wilt do well if thou communicatest it to all thy brethren that they may not be wanting in these things which I have here desired of thee in particular for I could desire that thou mightest begin to lead the way to Heaven in that family but especially let this be known to my Sister Anne I pray her not to think much that I direct this to you and not to her for I thought you would write to me and I questioned whether she hath not forgot but if she doth write I assure her if my soul and body can do her service it shall I shall not mention my Sister Mary because I have hinted her case in my Fathers Letter The God of Heaven be with you So I pray who am Your tender and most affectionate Brother Tho. Wadsworth Dear and Loving Sister IT hath been such a great interval of time since we last exchang'd Letters with one another that I know not whether to charge you or my self with negligence but I hope neither of us are guilty of forgetfulness God is my witness that I daily make mention of you in my prayers and I assure you it will exceedingly raise my heart in praises if God will but answer them upon your soul And truly my expectations are very great towards you and the rest of my friends I know not who they shall be either in that family or some where else but rather there for God of late hath shewn me much of his goodness as to the answering of my prayers as to particular persons And I am assured that he hath several times drawn out my heart as much if not more for that family So that I live in continual expectations of hearing of the Sun of Righteousness to rise among you and the day star of holiness and purity to break out of some of your souls And to this purpose I have sent you this Letter that you among the rest might be one that may fulfil my joy in the Lord. I am sorry that all this while I have not heard from my Brother John I hope that the Lord will stir up his heart likewise Heaven-ward Tell him that I would have writ to him but that I had so much to write to others so that I was fain to steal a little time to write these few lines As for your self for the present I shall only desire you to read Scripture much and pray constantly if possibly you can twice or three times a day For directions herein I desire you to peruse seriously my Sister Anne's Letter which I have here sent her Lastly Take a special care of my Sister Mary labour to get her to pray though she can but chatter God can hear He hears the young Ravens when they cry and feeds them and will he not much more hear a young child To whom I pray you commend my love very kindly I have no more at this present but that I am Your ever Loving Brother Tho. Wadsworth Loving Sister AS the Letter was with great affection desired so was it as gratefully received by me Neither was it so much because that you did write but because you writ so well and heartily And I shall here assure you that you cannot rejoice me more than in letting me see such sentences dropping from your pen as did in the last Letter And I am likewise as certain that your discovery of them proceeding from your heart carries in it a far more exceeding weight of joy to your own soul I shall have but one or two things to you at this time and I shall conclude First Be constant in Prayer morning and evening and labour not only to speak words but let your words express your heart Secondly Before and after Prayer join reading of the Scriptures Thirdly Take heed of vain and foolish discourse be as little in talk as may be without it is in good discourse I shall now only desire you to write to me every week or fortnight and I doubt not but you will find your parts encrease and abour but to put Letters in practice and you shall find likewise your graces encrease And with this I conclude only desiring you to remember me to your Brother and Sisters and I shall be as I ever was Your Loving Brother T. W. A SERMON PREACHED BY Mr. THO. WADSWORTH Taken in Short-hand REV. XII 1. And there appeared a great wonder in Heaven a Woman clothed with the Sun and the Moon under her feet and upon her head a Crown of twelve Stars IN these words you have a description of the Church of Jesus Christ on earth the Church of Christ is of all Societies of the world the most glorious it is a Society founded by the Counsel of the great God a Society that is purchased and bought by the blood of the Son of God 't is a Society called out of this wicked world to worship God in spirit and in truth 't is a Society that is to God himself as the apple of his eye 't is a Society
sin How come they then to be tempted the Apostle telleth Every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lusts and inticed You are tempted of your selves and of the Devil Lay your sins at your own door God hath no hand at all in them 3ly God cannot be the author of the evil of sin Why because it is so contrary to the nature of God It is so contrary that it would even destroy God if it were there A sinning God is no God at all for the very notion of the Godhead doth imply all Perfection in him Now sin is the palpablest imperfection in the world an imperfect God is a weak God and an impotent God is no almighty God and that which is not almighty is no God at all It is a hard thing for any creature to put off its nature or that which is essential to it now righteousness is of the very essence of the Godhead How hard a thing is it my Brethren for you to think or conceive of a Sun without light or to conceive of fire without heat so hard and impossible is it for you to conceive of a God without holiness a God without righteousness yea without perfection of righteousness And therefore the Apostle to the Hebrews doth reckon sin in God as an impossibility it is impossible for God to sin he instanceth in the case of falseness or a lye Hebr. 6.18 that by two immutable things that is his word and his oath in which it was impossible for God to lye Now what the Apostle here saith of the sin of lying I may say of all sorts of sin it is as impossible for God to do unjustly as it is impossible for God to lye it is impossible for these reasons you see it clear that it is impossible for God to be the author of sin Well then how must it be taken by evil must be here meant the evil of punishment Why is punishment called an evil for this reason because that punishment doth deprive us of our good things now that which taketh away our good things is an evil thing punishment taketh away our good things strippeth us of them all both spiritual and temporal Therefore punishment is called an evil so then the sense is this Is there any punishment in a City is there any evil of punishment is there any plague is there any judgment that doth befall a City saith the Lord I did them I will own them You are not ashamed of your sinning and I am not ashamed of my punishing of you for your sin You are not ashamed to provoke me to wrath and I am not afraid to tell you when I am in wrath with you Now there are several sorts of these punishments that God doth inflict for sin and God doth own himself to be the author of them all there are none of them to be found in the world but God will own himself to be the author of them There are some evils of punishment that do light upon the soul and where ever you see of them in a City the Lord is the author of them All the evils all the soul-plagues that are upon a City they are of the Lord. What are these soul-plagues why judicial blindness judicial hardness of heart judicial unconvertedness so far as these are judgments so far God is the author of them And alas how much of this plague is upon London this evil of judicial blindness hardness of heart unconvertedness unhealedness But will God own himself to be the author of this yes he doth do it by his own Son Joh. 12.40 He hath blinded their eyes who hath blinded their eyes God hath blinded their eyes he hath God hath blinded their eyes He hath hardened their hearts God hath hardned their hearts that they should not see with their eyes nor understand with their hearts and be converted and I should heal them This is strange is it not my Brethren that God should be the author of the blindness of the mind and the hardness of the heart I say it is as true as strange for so far as blindness is a judgment so far as hardness of heart is a judgment not as it is a sin but as it is a judgment God is the cause of it but if you should be startled as to wonder how possibly it could be that God should be the author of blindness and hardness if you will but compare this phrase unto that other kind of phrase which the Apostle useth in his Epistle to the Romans Rom. 1.26 the matter will be clear Christ saith God hath blinded them the Apostle he expresseth it by a phrase of giving up to sin God he then blindeth and then hardeneth when he giveth up to blindness that is that blindness that men have contracted when he giveth them up to that hardness of heart that by sin they have contracted to themselves For this cause saith the Apostle God gave them up unto vile affections God gave them up to them for even their women to change their natural use to that which is against nature God gave them up to it All the Villanies that were acted among the Heathens all those abominable sins that they polluted themselves with God gave them up in judgment to commit them And truly when you look over this City of London and you find all sorts of sins in a high degree to abound when you hear of sins that are not to be named though these sins are of mens own wicked hearts yet as they are judgments so they are of God God gives them up to drunkenness and up to swearing and up to adultery and uncleanness so far as these are judgments they are to be attributed to God God gives them up to them And it is like that other phrase that the Prophet Hosea useth Hos 4.17 Ephraim is joined to Idols let him alone If you would know when God giveth up a people to blindness and giveth them up to hardness it is then when he lets them alone in their blindness when he lets them alone in their hardness when doth he let them alone when he taketh off friends from reproving them and Ministers from exhorting them and Conscience from troubling them giving them up to searedness of Conscience when he takes off the Spirit from striving with them then he lets them alone So to let a people alone in their blindness to give them Priests after their own hearts to give them those that will sew cushions under their elbows and will flatter them in their sins and tell them it is an easie matter to please God and get to Heaven and therefore need not be at the expence of much trouble When God giveth them up I say to such Priests and such friends as will flatter them in their sins daub over their iniquities then he lets them alone then he is said judicially to blind their minds and harden their hearts that they should not be converted and healed Oh
humble our selves by confessing it was justly done Take the course that Daniel did upon a Fast-day as this may be when he was interceding with God for the people of Israel to bring them back out of Captivity as you are this day that God would not burn it again he did it by confessing of sin and all sorts of sin Dan. 9.5 O Lord saith he thou art a great God a God on thy part keeping covenant and promise to them that love thee and keep thy commandments but as for us we have sinned and committed iniquity and done wickedly and have rebelled even by departing from thy precepts and from thy judgments neither have we hearkened to thy servants the Prophets which spake in thy name to our King and Princes and Fathers O Lord righteousness belongeth to thee but to us belongeth confusion of face To us who of us to our King to our Princes to our Fathers all deserve to be put to shame why because we have sinned against thee This is our work this day to humble our selves before God to humble our selves for our sins here in this City against God whereby he was provoked to burn our Habitations Thirdly Is God the cause of all punishments and are all punishments for sin then from hence you may gather that London is a very wicked City Why because God is very angry with it and it is certain he is never angry without great cause men may be angry without a cause and we may chide one another without a cause yet God never is angry without cause and in as much as God hath shewn himself angry with London it is a sign London hath given God a great deal of cause for his anger What cause hath London given God to be angry with them Truly when I begin to think of London's sins they are so many that it puzzles me where to begin or where to make an end but however let us name some of them why did God burn London for London's pride London had lifted it self up in pride against God and God pulled London down he pulled it into ashes to make the proud ones of London know what they are and what their Cities are nothing but dust and ashes My Brethren God is a great enemy against pride for the great King of Babylon's pride he took away his reason and turned him into a beast and turned him a grazing with the Cattel Pride God resisteth the proud he is a great enemy to the proud a great adversary to them and to their projects and designs but he sheweth grace to the humble Wherein doth London appear proud proud in their Apparel proud in their Houses proud in their gestures proud in their Professions they are guilty of all these sorts of pride I cannot stand to speak much of it but the Lord open your understandings and your hearts that you may see where the guilt lyeth the fantastick dresses of many of the Londoners that is one sort the pride of their hearts that 's another sort The next sort of sins are London's luxury drunkenness gluttony their excessive feasting their prodigal expences London is a wanton City instead of worshipping God in spirit it is a City for a great part that sacrificeth as it were unto Bacchus and Ceres they make their belly their god Oh the drunkenness of London the gluttony of London Is it not so Again the covetousness of London God was angry with Israel for being covetous why you covet gold more than grace covet earth more than heaven Oh the injustice the wrong-getting the lying the perjury in getting of Estates Oh the covetousness in keeping in not laying out proportionable to what God gave you to do good to others God hath given you a Talent and you wrap it in a napkin or which is worse you prodigally spend it upon your lusts that make nothing of ten or twenty pounds to bestow upon a vain feast and grudg to give an Angel or twenty shillings for the help of any of the poor servants of God is not this a sin do you think when you are so liberal to your own lusts and you are so heart-bound and hand-bound towards God and his people yea certainly and an highly provoking sin too Again London's prophanation of the Lords-day God all the time of the Law was very zealous for his Sabbath and he had a Controversie with Israel often upon the account of his Sabbath and there are many Promises that he gave them to encourage them to keep his Sabbath If thou wilt keep my Sabbaths and count them thy delight the holy of the Lord honourable I will make thee honourable and great in the world but if not I will pull thee down and destroy thee and make thee the tail and not the head Hath not this been one of London's great sins How full of walkers have the streets been on the Sabbath how full have the fields about this City been on the Lords day what playing what drinking what drunkenness at every Alehouse especially your by Alehouses in London and in the Fields How few in London do strictly observe the Lords-day that pray with their Family in the morning that take care that their whole Family wait upon God all that day in his Ordinances that when they come home at night are careful to see what they profit by what they hear How few are there in London that spend the Lords day as they should do God hath a Controversie with you for this What account can you Masters give of your servants souls What care have you had over them either all the week days or else on the Lords day What have you done for them For your sinful neglect herein God is angry with you For the adultery and uncleanness of London for the whoredoms of Israel the land mourneth for the whoredom of London London was burnt God punished the City with one fire for the sin of another that is the fire of lust But my Brethren it is not barely these sins that God hath been angry with London for but for the aggravations of them Why wherein First For the brazen-facedness of them alas we know that these sins may be found every where ay but we are grown impudent sinners brazen-faced sinners we are not ashamed of our sins but we can be drunk with boldness and commit adultery and boast of it We can sin as Absalom lay with his Fathers Concubines in the face of the Sun before all Israel Here is the aggravation of the sin now it is not the drunkenness only of London and swearing and perjury and Sabbath-breaking but London's shamelesness in it As God when he came to reprove Israel and threatens Judgments upon her saith he Thou hast a brazen face thou hast the looks of an harlot thou dost sin and thou dost not blush at it Truly this hath been London's sin they will swear and receive no reproof be drunk and scorn a reproof it is the very mode of
man would have done it 2 And was not God himself slighted by those that were invited to the feast Was not Christ worse than slighted and was not Paul called a Babler and the Gospel foolishness 3 But consider further Is not the Gospel and the God of it slighted in thee the message thou knowest is not thine but his that sent thee 4 And think is it not natural for the carnal mind to have unsavoury dark foolish thoughts of the Gospel was it not always so did not Christ wonder seeing their unbelief 5 But think it 's God in Christ or the strictness and spiritualness of the Gospel that they undervalue and think nothing of the excellency of They say it 's thou speakest nothing they would say the other but they dare not speak out and so they cast it on thee and art thou not willing rather to suffer than it wouldst not thou have interposed thy face to Christ to have received the spittle and kept it from him and thine head to have been crowned with thorns and what dost thou shrink in taking of this 6 But think what reason have they to charge thee with a nothingness and impertinency in preaching what mean so many to follow thee they may hear nothings and impertinencies nearer home Wherefore go on chearfully and boldly in thy work and regard not what some few scoffers say when thou art carrying on that work for the good of souls which the Lord will own and bless HYMN I. WHat ails my soul to look so wan My vitals they are fled What faintings do I feel within My heart as 't were is dead Love-beams do shine full in my face From off the throne above They sparkle glories round my soul Yet yet I cannot love I see the Heavens open wide My Lord upon his throne I see his Saints all cloth'd in gold Bedeckt with glittering stone I fee a Crown held in his hand To set upon my head If once I were laid low in grave Yet yet my heart is dead What my distemper is God knows It 's cause I can unfold My heart lay down upon the earth And there it caught a cold This this alone had been enough My health to overthrow But I of flesh a surfeit took Which made my grief to grow Lord what compassions in thy looks What pearls stand in thine eye Like a kind friend thou turn'st away As loth to see me die No cordials can my sp'rits revive Those glorious sights do'nt move Oh I am lost there is no hope I see yet cannot love My God! my God! don 't me forsake If I must needs then die Whil'st I am breathing out my last Oh! do but thou stand by Help help thou great soul-curing God In languishments I lye Speak but the word my heart revives Oh yet I shall not die I find my native heat restor'd My wonted joys return I love thee Lord I love thee now With love my heart doth burn Oh what are all the things below What toys they seem to me When shall I leave them and come up To dwell my Lord with thee HYMN II. The Souls Farewell to her Body TIr'd with a body now at last In travel on my road I must take Inn and rest my self I must of flesh unload I see my prison-walls fall down And mold'ring into dust I feel my chains of flesh break off As eaten up with rust Oh! I am going help my God! A little respite give Reverse thy sentence add some years That I on earth may live Ah! foolish soul how fond of life Dost thou thy self betray Why a few minutes more dost thou With tears for life thus pray Are not the years enough thou ' st been A Pilgrim here below Thy Father calls bids come away Ah! fool thou wilt not go What seest thou in this wicked world That thus delights thine eye A father brother or dear friends Thou ' lt find them all on high Thy Saviour hath a Palace there Imbost about with Gold Thine's but a den where now thou dwell'st Whose walls scarce keep out cold What canst thou see more than thou hast The same Sun runs its round The rivers ebb and flow alike No new thing can be found The pleasant faces of thy friends Thou feest but o're again The sweets of meats and drinks thou tasts Are but the very same Yet these sweet and beloved things Have thorns been in thy side Their Prickles have so torn thy heart Thou scarce could'st them abide But Oh thou lump of Gold my Soul How full of dross and tin Thy Father would but melt thee now And purge thee of thy sin Thou art my Soul a ball of light Here in dark lanthorn place't God in a golden socket would Thee set to burn not waste Arise my Soul come shake thy plumes Prepare thy self for flight Like a fledg'd Eagle mount aloft And bid the world Good-night Farewell then dearest friends farewell Farewell fond world I say Lord now I come Oh take me up With sighs and groans I pray HYMN III. The Resurrection of our Blessed Lord. ON Golgotha that fatal day While Christ on Cross did bleed The whole Creation groan'd they say To see that bloody deed The Earths big heart with sorrow swells Which burst out in earth-quakes The Sun his eye hides in a cloud The lowring Heaven shakes The bodies of the dead arise Most ghastly look and wonder Because mens hearts nor garments rent The Vale doth tear asunder Yet one thing do I admire more To see a God-man dead His breathless royal trunk they took And laid in grave deaths-bed Like conquer'd captive there he lies In th' prison of a grave Three days the tyrant death him holds In fetters like a slave So long said he I 'le lye then cry'd Hell grave death do your worst Fast tye me bind me chain my hands I 'le all your fetters burst Rowl rowl a stone upon his tomb The Jews of Pilate pray Set watch and ward lest that his friends By night steal him away With bills and lanthorns there they stand With scoffs they him deride See how he riseth jeeringly They flout one very side At length the third days morn doth dawn Our Lord begins to ' wake Whilest the hard stony Cover-lid Away the Angel takes Look look the watch-men see they run As frighted hark their crys The buried Jesus he is risen We saw him with these eyes Shout shout for joy ye Saints of his This is your Saviour dear When you this wretched life must leave Graves Coffins do not fear This day a perfect conquest he Of grim-lookt death hath made Your moulder'd rotted bodies he Can raise as he hath said HYMN IV. Of our Lords Ascension into Heaven I Sometime wondred why thou Lord Those forty-days didst stay On earth betwixt thy Grave and Crown Or thy Ascension day It seems most like a Captain great After some bloody fights Who walks to shew his friends he lives And puts his Host to rights Thus all things
setled up he mounts Upon his Royal Steed Who prancing through the streets is prais'd For his victorious deed Just so my glorious blessed Prince With vict'ry on his side Being won with ghastly gaping wounds In triumph he must ride Down with a Chariot made of clouds From th' Palace-yard on high His Father sent to setch his Son In great solemnity Before he steps up to his seat Like Royal Prince he gave Rich-wonder-working gifts to 's friends And then he took his leave Strait at command the foaming winds With prancings up they fly Proud of the burthen that they drew A load of Majesty When he got home Oh! with what shouts Of joy did Heav'n resound When th' Father sat him on his Throne And there himself him crown'd Angels and Saints do all at once The Song of the Lamb sing As worthy of all honour praise Yea worthy to be King Sit there thou great Victorious Prince At thy Fathers right hand Bring down thine en'mies to thy feet Rule all by thy command HYMN V. The Souls Access LOrd hear my knocking 's hark my crys Want drives me to thy door Oh! chide not do not say Away I was here once before Where shall I go thou only hast That life none gives beside I went about the world to beg For life but all deni'd Thou art my God and Saviour To thee I naked creep Besmear'd in blood and tears I lie Lord pity see I weep If I have sin'd Lord thou hast di'd To free me thou wast sent And thou hast said I shall not die If that I will repent Justice Oh hold a while thy stroke Suffer a sinner plead It 's for my life one word and then Strike on and make me bleed If I had sin'd and would not yield But stoutly stand it out Thy wrath might then have broacht my heart And let my life run out If I had heard a Christ was come With open arms to save Had I not run for refuge there Mercy I might not crave Now Justice strike 't is done but see Where I incircled lye Within the folds of Jesus arms Strike in his arms I 'le die Chear up my heart the storm is o're Justice is ris'n and gone All thy accusers creep away Thy Christ is lest alone What blessed voice was that I heard My Son rise off thy knees Thy sins are pardon'd thou art free And I have paid thy fees Lord what a quick dispatch hast thou In grace giv'n to my cause I am arraign'd acquit set free By thy most gracious Laws Had I not guilty dar'd to plead Though fraught with Angels skill How sure my impannel'd conscience would Have sought and found the bill HYMN VI. The descent of the Spirit WHO knows the winds from whence they come Or whither they do go The holy breathings we receive Are from the Spirit ev'n so Sometimes its cooling gales we feel On Conscience all on fire Sometimes its cooling heats we find Our nummed hearts inspire This is that Holy Ghost that Christ Did promise for to send This is that pow'rful Spirit that Our stubborn hearts must bend Jerusalem the City was Design'd for his descent Thither the Christians at th' command Of th' Heavenly Angel went No sooner were they set but straight A mighty tempest rose Shook the foundations of the house Which they for pray'rs had chose Struck with amazement soon there fell Flames shap't both flat and long Which hovering light upon each head Much like a Cloven-tongue Those little fiery bushes were But wonders for to shew That th' wonder-working Spirit was Come down to men below For straight he tun'd each Christians tongue All Languages to speak The Parthians Medes and Elamites To them their minds might break Thousands of Salem flock to see This strange unheard-of thing They flock too fast for they forget Good hearts with faith to bring Some are amaz'd but others scoff Some praise but others say They have too much of tongue they 'r drunk With much new wine to day Oh injur'd God! how can'st thou bear These dreadful Blasphemies These wonders speak thy Gospel true They say it 's nought but lyes Scarce fifty days now past thy Son With nails they Crucifi'd And now to heap up sin on sin Thy Spirit they deride Instead of wrath Gods bowels yern Yet thinks them thoughts of Grace The bleeding Christ while Peter preacht The Spirit gave them chace Three thousand hearts at once he struck Who bleeding came and cri'd What shall we do we do believe On Christ we Crucifi'd O holy conquering Spirit thou Those souls did'st captivate This is a second wonder wrought Which we with Songs relate Oh let me find thy heats within As a refiners fire Purge from my heart all dross and sin This this is my desire HYMN VII First Part. THOU dreadful Judg whose Majesty Angels themselves adore That can't with open face thee see But clap their wings before When thou with whispers dost but chide The arch of Heaven doth quake Big-bellied clouds forth lightning bring And into thunders break When that thy wrath it doth but breathe Great storms of whirlwinds rise Hail snow and rain come tumbling down Whilest th' trembling sinner flies The lofty mountains stoop their heads To hide them in their vales Great men and Princes shrink for fear Their hearts and courage fails Some high and mighty Angels hatcht Treason against his Crown He spar'd them not but from their Throne With vengeance pull'd them down He chains of darkness on them laid As pris'ners doth them keep Against the great and terrible day When hardest hearts shall weep When the old world thy name forgot And laid aside their fears The gentle wrathful Heavens wept Drowns it with showers of tears When Sodom and Gomorrah burnt With fires of wanton lust With flakes of fir'd brimstone thou Those Cities burnd'st to dust Sion it self that darling hill In Salem that did stand Them both for slaying of thy Son Thou mad'st a fire-brand Our bleeding carcasses thy sword leaves reeking on the ground Yet after this we no more fear Than men fall'n in a swound Second Part. When thou O mighty God shalt come Riding upon the wind To judg the world Oh! in what place Will th' wicked refuge find How shall we hear thy shrill voice't trump Cleaving th' air asunder To wake our ashes in their graves With noise like claps of thunder Lord what a glorious train is that That on their wings do ride Look how they post in full career Thronging on either side Oh! they 're the Angels of the Lord Egypt's first-born that slay'd That took poor Lazarus soul that di'd And him in bosom laid The Trump shall sound and Michael then Th' Archangel strait shall cry Arise you dead to judgment come The Lord your lives must try Look how the wicked's bodies crawl Like Toads out of their den What ghastly fearful looks they bear They look like frighted men Why do you sinners now thus quake Call for your
cups and sing Scoff laugh deride your Preachers now Care not for Christ your King You worldlings call upon your gods See what your Gold can do Ye proud ambitious of the earth Judg whether Gospel's true Fear not you humble holy Saints This is your Marriage-day Your night is past your tears dri'd up Your sorrows fled away This day you heard of and believ'd At it your hearts did melt This wrath now come you beg'd to ' scape Whilest on the earth you dwelt Third Part. Lord I astonisht stand to think What brightness will thy face That day put on when thou thy self To mortals wilt uncase How will the bleeding mangled Christ On earth that seem'd so poor Outshine the Sun and put it out For it shall shine no more Then to the wicked he shall say See him whom you have pierce't It 's I whom you did scorn to fear And bid me do my worst You sin'd yet would not bow your knee Though I you pardon could You would go on and have your way Though th' danger you were told I must not rule you you had got A better Lord than I I cri'd I call'd but you were deaf Why sinners will you die How long did I your leisure wait With hope you might repent Ah sinners now it is too late My patience is quite spent You hope 't to find a Lamb your Judg And of my love to share You shall me find a Lion now That can in pieces tare Go cursed cursed from my sight I 'le never see you more I would have wip't off all your debts Now you shall pay the score Ye Angels that attend my will Bind them in chains about Now cast them in the dreadful gulf They never shall come out Loaded with sins now get you hence Sink deep sink deep in flames Torments seize on your trembling joints I ever be free from pains Blow blow thou wrathful breath of God That kindlest Tophets fires Ye worms of conscience catch your hold Bite hard and never tire You poys'nous curled snakes arise Out of the sulphur'd Lake Torment them ever with your smells Their lives yet never take Bear witness sinners I your Judg Am free from cruelty I would have sav'd you from this death You rather chose to die Now you would leave your loved sins Have me at any rate Leave pride and drink and gold and life Ah! now it is too late Lord hear a trembling sinner cry While I on earth do dwell I thee will love and fear and serve Free me but from this Hell Oh! when I die grant me this wish That I thy face but see Gold honour pleasures here on earth I will forsake for thee HYMN VIII WHat if my Chests were cram'd with Gold My Chariots stood at Gate What if a thousand servants did Upon my pleasure wait What if my House a Palace were Its walls with Rubies shone My Chambers costly Tissue wore In-laid with Diamond-stone What if my Bed were cloath'd with Gold Befring'd with Pearls most bright What if some clouds of ruffled Silks Were Curtains for my light What if I drank the sp'rits of Pearl Eat of all sowls beasts fishes What if each day these were serv'd up In massie golden dishes What if I had espoused one So wise so good so fair That both in soul and shape she might With Angels well compare What if my numerous off-spring were Of Wits deeply profound Their outward carriage state did bear Yet all with meekness crown'd What if for one whole thousand years Our youth a spring-tide had What if that while no pains we knew That ever made us sad Yet ah my soul this thread of life At length would fret away A dark and sullen cloudy night Would rise upon our day This long-liv'd candle at the last Would to her socket burn Her flame would struggle for a life And then to smoke would turn My soul chuse rather to live well How long it matters not He that lives ill while he hath liv'd Hath done he knows not what Thou maist live well without this wealth Be good without this state Please but thy God and thou wilt think Thy death will come too late HYMN IX 53 Chap. of Isaiah Translated WHO hath believed our report Who hath the Lords arm seen When he his Son sends to the world By blood it to redeem He must spring up before his face As a most tender plant Out of dry ground he must shoot up Yet seem all form to want When one his visage shall behold He nothing there shall see Of that alluring beauty which May well desired be Men him despise and shall reject Add sorrows to his grief Of him asham'd they hide themselves So give him no relief Yet certainly he only was The man our griefs that bore But we thought he was smitt'n of God So paid but his own score For our transgressions he had wounds And for our sins was bruised By his chastisements we had peace For our health stripes he chused All we like sheep have gone astray And turn'd from God each one But God all our iniquities Hath laid on him alone He was afflicted and opprest Yet moved not his tongue Lay like a lamb when to be kill'd By butchers laid along From darksome prison he was took Who shall declare his birth For th' peoples sins he smitten was And cut off from the earth With wicked men he found a death Among the rich a tomb Because for ill nor done nor said He had receiv'd his doom Yet did it please the Lord to bruise And put him for to bleed Therefore he shall prolong his days And after see his seed Therefore the pleasure of the Lord Shall prosper in his hand The travel of his soul shall see His children at command By his knowledg my righteous Son Shall many justifie For he by suffering shall bear All their iniquity Therefore I him a portion With the great will divide Because to death his soul he pour'd His Kingdom shall be wide HYMN X. A Consolatory against the fears of Death THOU tyrant Death look not so stern Think not me to affright The giddy tumult thou maist awe With thy unconquer'd might I wear di'd in a Saviours blood A scarlet robe about Strike where thou wilt thy Serpents sting This robe shall fetch it out Were I to die but like a beast I think my heart would break But now I know my soul survives To fear it were but weak Were it not baseness for to think Of Saints souls though the least That after death they did enjoy No more than a poor beast If then I shall as joyful be And happier every way Than I am here why should I fear To bid that world good day But Oh! the fainting-fits and pains That I must needs go through Why what of that they 'r quickly o're Then what needs such ado They are not past some fourteen days Diseases come to height Be patient but for that small time Bid sorrows then
i' nt that I Do fear thou canst not save Nothing can hinder if thou please Nor Devil Hell nor Grave Nor do I doubt but 't is thy will To save some such as I For as vile wretches as I am Thy Son did freely die In the deep Seas of thy rich love Blaspheming Paul did swim He though thy Saints he sought to kill Yet thou didst pardon him The Harlot Mary Magdalen Who deeply ran on score Who did ten thousand talents owe Yet that debt-bond was tore A swearing cursing Peter thou Didst to thy mercy take That Son whom he did fear to own Thou pardon'st for his sake This makes me confident my God That Heav'n may be my place If thou would'st please to grant to me Maries or Peters Grace Give me O God to go aside And in some corner creep That there with Peter bitterly In dolors I may weep Give me but sinful Maries love Love shall my ointment be Which I upon my Lords feet will Pour out as well as she But ah my God! this is my fear Their faith and love I want My carnal proud and sensual heart Speaks me no penitent This only Lord I have to plead Those lusts my heart doth hate I long I wish to be set free From this sad sinful state Sure Lord I am no enemy To holiness within Thou seest my soul contend and strive To beat down every sin When that perchance my foot doth slip And thee I do offend Doth not my sin make me to mourn And don 't I strive to mend Had not I faith why should I fear The threatenings of thy Law Why should I dread thy Majesty And of thee stand in awe Had I not faith why should I long Thy face above to see Why should I praying sue so hard To get my liberty Did not I love thee why should I My loved self forsake Why should I loath my loved sins For thy beloved's sake Did I not love why don 't the shell Of duties me suffice In Sacraments and pray'rs why do I thus thy presence prize Did I dissemble to be seen Of men why doth my sin Which none knows but my self alone Me trouble that 's within Did I dissemble then my tears My sighs in company Would more be heard and seen then when My God alone stands by It 's true I love thee not enough Nor is my faith so strong But that with grief I do confess Thy faithfulness I wrong But Lord remember I 'm but dust In weakness here I live That little which I have thou gav'st The rest above shalt give Did not those Stars that now do shine With thee in Heav'n above While living on the earth complain Of want of faith and love Nay Lord do not I read that thou The hungry soul didst bless And it that thirsts for righteousness Such am I I confess But Lord remember he that thirsts And hungry is for grace He some degree of grace must want And I am in that case If he is blessed why not I My hung'rings thou dost see If thou hast said he shall be full Why sha'nt that word reach me I sin I sin but thou hast place't The righteous Christ on high To advocate and plead his cause That at his feet doth lye Lord there a sinner I do lye Thy promise I will trust For pardon and for love will hope Till I fall to the dust The Welcome I. WElcome my child on high Heaven joys to see thee here Be not afraid it is thy Fathers house And thy Saviour bought it dear It was for this he bled And his soul ' n offering did make When my Son thou didst accept this Jointure he thee made Now possess it for his sake Whyart thou asham'd come behold me behold me I have forgot thy sin And made thee clean within Now thou' rt arrived here above Of nought think but of love I shall ne're be angry with thee agen II. My servants that attend Put on his best attire Set a Crown on his brow in brightness that out-shines The clearest flames of fire Spread out that cloth of Gold His foot-cloth it must be If you have him drest come bring him set him here He must keep me company Have you done if you have bid him welcome bid him welcome He was our friend on earth And royal in his birth For whilest he lived I saw he Forsook all to love me And did truly serve me to his his death III. A child a bride a wife Ragg'd and adorn'd so soon From the Dungeon to the Throne how quickly am I rais'd And my midnight turn'd to noon Even now on my death-bed I sigh'd I sob'd I groan'd I weeping cri'd my God hath me forgot And by all my friends was moan'd What they think now on earth I do not know I do not know Nor for't do I much care What a weeping though they are Of little do they think I Do possess such glory That I 'm made so much-of here above IV. This is Jerusalem Pav'd o're with slates of Gold Her rows of houses like to towers stand It 's more stately than was told Here 's not a street but 's strow'd With flowers of Paradise Not a step that I tread but such sweetnesses I pownd More rich than Arabian spice Walls that her inclose are far brighter far brighter Than th' oriental flame Or a thing that wants a name Her sparkling gates are well known To be made up of such stone That the richest Diamonds doth excel V. Blest shades that here do dwell These mansions that possess I never till now a place or people saw That the God of Heaven doth bless Here 's not a look speaks care No sign of tear or grief Not a sigh or a groan through all the streets I hear Nor a beggar that wants relief All yet that I 've met are like Angels like Angels In clearness they surpass A Star or chrystal-glass Whose unsoil'd beauty doth seem To out-vye a Sun-beam Far Oh far more splendid than all these VI. Their locks like curls of light Their Lilly-necks hang o're Bedeckt with Ribbonds richer than of Gold I ne're saw such before Sweetness of spirit blooms And blossoms all the week In smiles of joy and love that do adorn In their flowrings on each cheek In mantles as white as the fair Moon the fair Moon They walk about each street And embrace all that they meet I never saw friends so love As they do here above Oh! I could lie at any of their feet VII I am where I would be In the City of my King This is the place I have desir'd to see And to hear the cherubs sing What lofty strains are these I ne're heard voice so lavish Not a note that I hear but melts me into joy And my heart doth in me ravish In the close when they shout Hallelujah Hallelujah Glory to God on high And the Lamb that below did die There 's warmth methinks in these names That melts me into
fire I soon with beams it crown'd So now my flame grew higher O what a warmth I felt Each pow'r about did glow My soul began to melt And round my body flow Lord cri'd I what a bliss What lavish glory 's this We feel when thou dost shake And dost our hearts to fitters break A Divine SONG I. COME O ye winged Angels from above Can you not tell me news of him I love Where he ascended When the Clouds him took And wafted him Beyond what we could look Did he not pass the Sun and pierce the sky Tell me Tell me For it 's the same that here did die II. What did he when within your gates he came Did he strip off his rags or wear the same Yea but much mended Each jag glory wore They are the same But brighter than before That very torn flesh now wears Majesty And shall And shall When time yields to eternity III. Go search the Thrones and tell me where 's his place You may him know by th' shinings of his face Is'nt he set higher Then all your degrees Of Seraphims Or Cherubs if you please Doth not his brightness Put your glory out And you And you Fall down to worship round about IV. Can you inform me what 's his business there Whether of us he taketh any care Doth there burn incense Are perfumes there sweet Are there the prayers Which we lay at his feet Doth he accept them and his Father too Tell me Tell me But nought but what you know is true V. You flaming fires that attend his will Can you inform how long 't will be until The winged winds shall Bring their Royal load Or how long he Will make with you his ' bode Are you preparing clouds whereon to ride Oh when Oh when Will you come flaming by his side VI. If you him see pray tell his longing bride Begs that he comes the world his stay deride We groan for freedom Their sins vengeance cries Since we are fit O will the Lord arise Will he come crown us and the wicked burn Or stay Or stay Till more stray-souls unto him turn VII If that's his meaning tell him then that we Wait still believing and will patient be We know he will not Quite forget us here We are belov'd Which will at length appear Let him but purge us scowr off our rust And then And then Let him but haste us to the dust A wounded Conscience I. CHide chide no longer I do smart Thy words my Soveraign they are keen They plow deep surrows in my heart And scatter seeds of wrath between Oh! what an harvest is here like to be Thou maist reap glory but I misery II. My sin is poyson rank enough Do not with it thine anger blend If thou wilt force me drink it up It will it self work out my end If thou would'st have me die thou need'st not go But to my Conscience whence doth venom flow III. If thou intendest to torment Thou need'st not send me down to hell Keep thou but up an angry look It 's pain enough where e're I dwell Where thy beams shine not but keen angers flame Must make hell-torment or a pain wants name IV. Guns fire nor sword doth Soldier fright The Mariner laughs in a storm The Shepherd fearless is by night The Martyr counts his fire but warm If thou but cast'st a frown my spirits fail My heart it panteth and my looks wax pale V. Though my Spirit doth rocky seem If thou in anger dost it smite It gusheth forth in briny stream That even suffocates my light Thy frowns may well cause dews in flinty mind When at thy blows hard marble tears can find A Petition for a prospect of Immortalities HUmbly my God! I beg of thee I might Discharg'd a while from prison take my flight Into those regions where I may converse With naked Spirits let my conceptions dress Sit close and comely to each thing that I With a clean mind shall venture to descry While Earths dull off spring children of the night To coop their thoughts in shades of sense delight While Owls and Bats are flut'ring with their wings About this gross dark world for earthly things Oh! let me snatch a glimpse of that above And steal a glance of thee thou God of love Why is my half a spirit if that I May not converse with Spirits till I die May I converse with thee thou dazling Sun Father of Spirits why not when I 've done May not I look upon the Stars and take A view of their less brightness while I ' wake Why should my Taper sweal away for nought But me to gaze on things scarce worth a thought Scarce worth a thought if but compar'd to thee And that retinue that in Heaven be O charge me not of niceness that I fain Of other worlds would some small knowledg gain Pass me not home if thou a Pilgrim find Me in my travels alas my wearied mind Is tir'd with this world this muddy smoke From Earth doth ev'n my languid spirits choak Let me but take a little air that I May be refresht then home again I 'le hie I do conceive a vast extended Sphere Farther above the Stars than we are here Repleat with matter some thick some thin and light In which are bodies some opake and bright Tumbling about so doth our earth where we As on a float swim round the world we see In th' center of which orb as in a Throne Sits the adored Triad all alone Shooting their Omnipresent beams about Filling the Sphere within and space without Without I dare not say they idle are For God is pleas'd not only here but there Yet we are sure throughout this golden ring His beams have been faecund in ev'ry thing And do continue chearing as a Hen Her Chicks does nourish in her father'd den But their productions vary some opake That eyes may see nose smell and hands may take Others so fine so rare that no sense can Grope out a touch such is the sp'rit in man Such are the Angels spirits more refin'd From earthly tincture than the humane mind Such that no razor knife or sword can wound Where was the carcass of an Angel found As glassie Scissers would clip off a ray Just so keen steel may cut a spirit in tway Spirits through steel can freelier pass than light Can through that Scisser that it takes its flight In fire they burn not having no flesh to fry Where did you see an Angel Martyr die They sport about the belly of the deep And yet their sides no briny-tears do weep Just as I 've seen the Sun pass through her beams And pierce the bosom of clear crystal streams Yet have they liv'd unquench'd nor have they been Moistned with th' cold dampy parts within Cast them in pits ram them up fast with earth From these dark wombs they 'l find a pass for birth Clap them in dungeons lock them up in chest Stop up
arise Out of a pit by which a Beldam lies Stirring her urine thence doth darkness fleet Baffling the light making the day retreat Clouds in the air ingender double charge Themselves with thunder then themselves enlarge In sheets of flame thence follow winds That strike amazement to the hearers minds What shall I say of Wizards that are whirl'd In cloudy chariots round the airy world What of Amantius and Rotarius set Perched on tops of Oaks bemir'd and wet Whence in a trice from out the shepherds sight A wind them snatches and then take their flight Like two cock-sparrows 't length were seen to hop Upon a towring lofty houses top One trembling th' other laughing bid him cheer It was as safe to be in th' air as there Thus was Mag. Warrin hackned on the back Of some foul Fien that made the welkin crack With storms and tempests as he her did rear A loft jolting along yet void of fear Lighting at last on th' top of a tall oak Was seen condemn'd and in a rope did choak Wondrous is' t easie tell me to conceive That air should thus condense it self then heave Such weighty bodies upward or bare words Or ceremonious charms make them as birds To course about the air ma'n't we with ease Rather imagin sp'rits t' produce all these Strike sail my muse thou 'rt now in sight of shore Laden with traffick hath inricht me more Than Indian voyage knowledg of sp'rits to me Is far more sweet than Arab spices be They may embalm the body what care I Let body rot and stink my soul can't die Spirits are all immortal so 's my soul It cannot wast nor die Bells they may toul Their mortal knells for Bodies but I have What the Father of Sp'rits alive will save Welcome ye Angels then 't is for your sake That I in part this tedious voyage make My undisturbed reason free from doubt Spirits hath seen in flesh and some without Lord when this prison falls and I am free Let me i' th' number of just spirits be FINIS The TABLE A Preface of the Authors Life and Death An Elegy on the Authors death Octob. 29. 1676. Verses on the Picture and Book The Contents of the Book viz. Three Preparatory Questions about the Sacrament Pag. 1 An example of Meditation about the sufferings of Christ Pag. 2 c. The causes of Christs death consider'd in that Meditation Pag. 6 c. A Colloquy 'twixt the Judg Sinner and Saviour Pag. 14 c. Objections about Gods love c. answer'd Pag. 20 c. The Sacrament particularly the Dress Pag. 31 c. The Presence-chamber Pag. 33 The Communion plate and the Bread Pag. 35 The Wine Pag. 37 The Conclusion Pag. 40 A Meditation on Christs death preparatory to the Sacrament for private use Pag. 42 Three pious Letters to his Sister when he was but a young Student at Christs Colledg Pag. 50 A Sermon on Rev. 12.1 Of the Church compar'd to a Woman Pag. 58 A Sermon on Amos 3.6 Preach'd Sept. 2. 1673. Pag. 81 A Meditation for raising his heart under slightings Pag. 123 POEMS Hymn 1. On the Souls Love-sickness Pag. 126 Hymn 2. The Souls Farewell to her Body Pag. 128 Hymn 3. The Resurrection of our Blessed Lord Pag. 130 Hymn 4. Of our Lords Ascension into Heaven Pag. 132 Hymn 5. The Souls Access Pag. 133 Hymn 6. The descent of the Spirit Pag. 135 Hymn 7. Of Gods Providence and Judgment Pag. 137 Hymn 8. The vanity of created enjoyments Pag. 142 Hymn 9. On Isaiah 53. Pag. 144 Hymn 10. A Consolatory against the fear of Death Pag. 146 Hymn 11. Comfortable at the death of a dear friend Pag. 150 Hymn 12. Of Thanksgiving for the restoration of health Pag. 153 Hymn 13. Remedies against discontentments in four Parts Pag. 156 Hymn 14. The desire of Assurance Pag. 161 The Welcome Pag. 166 Mortality Pag. 172 Self-estimation Pag. 174 Contempt A Dialogue 'twixt Flesh and Spirit Pag. 176 The Alarm Pag. 177 A Song of the Pilgrim Pag. 181 A Spiritual Song of Triumph Pag. 182 A description of Paul 's Shipwrack Act. 27. Pag. 184 A sinners unregenerate inside turn'd outside or the language of the Kingdom of darkness Pag. 192 The Rout of Demetrius Pag. 195 The Flint Pag. 200 A Divine Song of the Brides stay for her Beloved Pag. 202 A wounded Conscience Pag. 205 The Petition for a Prospect of Immortalities Pag. 207