sure you do not neglect to read and pray by your self morning and evening and labour to mind what you are come into the world for Endeavour to get the Lord for thy God make him the chief of thy joy and delight When thou art to pray or read or hear the Word look upon those services as thy priviledg not as thy task as thy duty and yet as thy dignity that thou maist go to the great God of Heaven and Earth as to a gracious and loving Father in Christ When thou findest thy heart backward to any good duty go to God and beg of him to help thee and quicken thee c. Be cheerful and mind thy duty to God the good Lord bless thee and do thy poor soul good so shall it be well with thee for ever Good Child don't neglect to read and pray c. The Lord bless you and keep you bless your soul with spiritual blessings that you may be still doing something to further your souls good Another of her Daughters she thus bespake Redeem all the time that possible you can to secret prayer and often read the Scriptures which will make you wise to salvation and will afford you pleasure at the last when all things here will fail I shall pray for thee and thy dear Sisters that you may all grow in all the graces of the spirit and may be wrought and made meet for the heavenly glory c. 12. As concerning her care to prepare for the Sabbath and her great love to Gods Ministers Word Preached and Ordinances c. IN preparing for the Sabbath I have then been up when others in the Family where I have been have been in bed Of late by reason of my illness and weakness I have lain sometimes longer on Sabbath-day mornings than ordinary but it hath troubled me and the Reason was because sleeping little in the night I found when I rose earlier I was ready afterwards to be sleepy and more unfit for Gods service But if when I had more time and health and strength I had not been more abundant in the service of God and more earnest after Heaven and the things of Heaven than I can be now my spirit would even sink within me Gods Ministers I love dearly yea so dear are they to me that it does me good to see their faces and I could even fall down and kiss their feet and compel them to come into my house and methinks my house is the better when they have been in it Oh I dearly love them Being when I was in the Country invited on a Lecture-day by an honourable person to Dinner the best feast which I had that day was at the hearing of the Word for I had it made appear to me there that I had made entrance into Heaven and I was so comforted that I could have found in my heart to have fallen down at the Ministers feet and have thanked him It did me good at Dinner to hear him speak c. I have never been better satisfied nor pleas'd than when I have been hearing the Word Preached and meditating on it and conferring with the people of God and praying in secret and hearing counsel and direction for my soul and it has been my prayer as I have been going to hear that God would make out some counsel and instruction or reproof to me and the Lord hath heard me counselled me and comforted me I do so love the word of God it is so sweet to me when I meditate on it and I do so love Gods Ministers and it does so rejoice me to think of Mr. Merrills coming to my House A worthy Minister in the Country deoeased I hope he will come I must say as Lidia to Paul If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord come into my house c. And tell him if I dye I would not have him neglect any more to see such as do so much desire to see him as I do I long to see him c. He is an eminent Minister one who is firm to his principles fears neither mens frowns nor regards their smiles c. He hath been instrumen al of much good and comfort to my soul God was the efficient he the instrument c. I cannot see how the prizing of Gods Word and not to prize Gods Ministers can stand together I am sure I prize both and pray that God would incourage his Ministers Ordinances have been very sweet to me God in and by them hath come to me and met me that I could say with Peter It is good for me to be here And I have thought the time very short I have been hearing the word hath so comforted-me I have gone under trouble but have return'd refreshed Being one day very ill and desiring her to stay at home she answer'd that must be the last place I go to And in a sickness before she said it grieves me I went no longer though she went longer than well she could Oh! how much did she rejoyce and how glad was she to go into the House of the Lord How blessed did she count those who dwelt there Oh! I made account said she to be ready betimes and I shan't get in c. How ready and willing was the spirit when the body was weak I got cold says she by going at such a time to hear but I do not repent for I had a sweet refreshing there blessed be God Thus how lovely amiable and desirable to her were the Tabernacles of the Lord of hosts And how did her soul long yea even saint for his courts I How truly might she say with David Psal 26.8 Lord I have loved the habitation of thy house and the place where thine konour dwelleth and one thing have I desired of the Lord that will I seek after that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life to bekold the beauty of the Lord c. And how truly might she call Sabbaths and Ordinances her delight she had there seen God and his face his power and glory his goings in his sanctuary yea Sabbaths were to her as the Subburbs of Heaven Ordinances are not in Heaven but Heaven she hath many a time met with in Ordinances and she drinks but that Wine new now in Heaven which she began to drink in Ordinances here Matt. 26 29. 13. As concerning some further evidences for Heaven I Have a great deal of comfort in this That I am as willing to take Christ for my Lord as for my Saviour and that I desire and endeavour to my utmost to obey him and have heart-risings against sin both in my self and in others and desire to hate and abhor all appearances of sin I have desired to walk before the Lord in uprightness and have walked with God sincerely though not perfectly and I would not offend God nor dishonour him but have desired to glorify him obâ—y him and to be ruled and
do that thou maist hold out the longer The loss and hindrance I have been to my family she meant by reason of her long sickness the Lord will make it up to thee and thy Children do but trust in him c. The Lord will direct thee what to do do not trouble thy self beforehand he will make thy way plain before thee She spake to those about her as followeth Make Religion your business walk with God get a Covenant-interest in Christ do not neglect secret prayer I have found much comfort in it prize the Word by which you may be saved hear it as often as possibly you can and hear it and do it Live comfortably and contentedly together It is good to store up Cordials and make provision against times of affliction To give all diligence to make our calling and election sure and we had need in times of health to provide for sickness and death and all little enough It is one thing to talk of death and another thing to be willing to dye c. I would have you all bless God when I am gone that I shall sin no more sorrow no more c. She said to one of her Grandchildren about four years old poor Child the Lord give thee a Covenant-interest in himself If I live I purpose to do my endeavour to teach thee to know God and love God and Jesus Christ but if I dye Sirs do you take care and let him not play on Sabbath-days let all his play-things behind c. To her Daughters Maid she said be instructing these poor Children learn them good things c. the Lord has a blessing in store for my Children and the little ones One of her Daughters being out of the Town and supposing she should see her no more Tell her says she I hope God will carry on the work he has begun and give her grace to fear him c. I would have her labour to get that good work finished and to eye God in all his dealings and to do his will to ask counsel of God for body and soul for temporal and spiritual affairs and let her trust in God Take heed c. God expects we should follow some employment here and not to fall upon business causes to grow melancholly and discontented there are many snares in living out of a calling An idle life is pleasing to the flesh to take no care nor pains but it will be sad afterward c. my dear Husband my dear Children but I can't speak now c. She prayed earnestly for her Husband Children little ones and for Gods Ministers c. I pray all the blessings of Heaven may be upon thee upon soul and body and that he would make up the want of all Relations by himself The Lord bless thee the Lord bless thee out of Sion and recompence all thy love to me a thousand-fold with his tender compassions The Lord prosper thee in the work of thy Ministry that thou maist win many souls to him The Lord make my Children truly gracious and comforts to thee The Lord give them grace and the shinings of his face and that will be better than the life of a Mother The Lord carry my Daughter Shayter who was then near her time through her great work and bless thee my Son and make my Daughter a blessing to thee and the Lord bless the little one and make it an Heir of Heaven one of Christs Lambs I leave my blessing and prayers for the little ones and you all One of her Grandchildren coming to her she said to him Farwell my Lamb my dear Lamb farwell farwell the Lord make thee a comfort to thy Mother And one of her Daughters being near her she prayed the Lord bless thee out of Sion and give thee an everlasting Covenant-interest in himself c. She prayed for Gods Ministers That he would spare their lives incourage them and bless their labours c. More particularly for Dr. Jacomb That God would bless him and his ministry and recompence all the good he had done her she much desired to see him once again who coming to her and praying with her his praiers and presence were very refreshing to her Towards her end she grew somewhat light-headed but still had excellent expressions and spake sensibly of God and the things of God she often cryed O my God O my God pity me O my God help me for thy mercies and compassious sake Remember me O my God how long yet O my God have mercy on me c. The day of my redemption draws nigh and I am now near home my God help me help faith c. The fear of death is taken away blessed be God and the Lord does comfort me and I am comforted within and am glad I am going home c. She spake a great deal more but we could not now well understand what she said Now the doors began to be shut in the streets as Solomon speaks how good is it to open them to purpose whiles we may and the daughters of musick to be brought low and those that look out of the windows to be darkned because she was near to her long home but blessed be God not an everlasting home December 13. she was under great pains and groan'd much and spake little neither could what she spake be understood but she often fixed her eyes stedfastly towards Heaven for some time together Afterward going to prayer by her and begging of God if he saw it good to release her c. she lift up her eyes and one of her hands toward Heaven and the other hand being in one of her Daughters hands she pluck'd it out and lift up that also both eyes and hands with great earnestness and intenseness unto Heaven where her soul was now near entring I was with her that night till about twelve or one of the Clock and not knowing how to bear it to stay with her any longer I then went with a sad heart away from her not expecting to see her here any more alive but blessed be God I enjoyed her so long so truly pious prudent loving tender careful saithful and dearly affectionate Wife but though I departed from her I left her with him whose Angels were now waiting ready to transport her soul into the bosom of her blessed Redeemer But one of her Daughters remained still with her to the last which was not long after I was gone away her Daughter could not get her spirit willing at first to promise to bless God if he would take her to himself But when God had once brought her to be willing she soon after about two a Clock in the morning December 14 1678 expired and went triumphingly to Heaven an entrance being ministred to her abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of her dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ And thus she is now entred into peace and is taken away and secured from the evil to come she is passed from
me betimes an hatred of what was evil and a love of what was good and I then dearly loved those that feared the Lord and spake of what was good but I could not delight in vain Company I was fearful to offend God c. It is good to set out and begin with God betimes I chose God when I was young and then my endeavour was to do what he commanded me and I was grieved when I slipped my greatest sorrow was for sin and nothing troubles me more now than that I ran no swifter then in the ways of God If my work was now to do and my evidences to seek what a sad condition was I in And if I had not spent more time for Heaven when I had time and health and strength it would even sink me now Thus this blessed Saint Remembred her Creatour in the days of her Youth Eccles 12.1 he had her golden age the prime of her Years the chief and choice of her days and who indeed should have these but God who is the best and chiefest of all And there was in her whilst a Child found some good thing towards the Lord God of Israel 1 Kings 14.13 and then even while young and tender she began to seek after the God of her godly Parents 2 Chron. 34.3 whose care it was to train her up betimes in the way she should go and she bare the yoke in her youth and so did not bear the reproach of her youth Lam. 3.27 Jer. 3.19 in neglecting then to do God service and to mind her everlasting concerns when was the chief time for it but had the comfort of her youth And this is Gods due the chief and choice of our days The first of the first fruits were to be offered to God Exod. 23.19 repeated 34 26. and youth is the time which of all times God does chiefly require and most delight in his Soul desires the first ripe fruit Micah 7.1 and early fruits are very acceptable c. God prizes the services of young ones and it exceedingly pleases him to see plants grown up even in their youth Psal 144.12 and he especially bespeaks young ones to give him the heart my Son give me thine heart c. Proverbs 23.26 So my Daughter you young ones c. and this is given as one Reason why that title my Son is so often used in the Book of Proverbs because God does there especially speak to young ones c. and we while young experiencing bounty and kindness from God there 's all the reason he should have duty and service from us Can we while we are young live without him And why therefore should we not then live unto him and as he is the guide of our youth so make him the God of our youth and truly our whole time is so short all our days so few but as an hands breadth Psal 39.5 that God may well have all and a poor pittance too for him who intends an eternity of felicity for us O how many have repented they began no sooner but who ever repented for beginning so soon And is it not safest to begin betimes is not youth the seasonning age And does not the vessel retain longest the savour of what it is first seasoned with When Children grow crooked at first while young they are hardly ever set straight again afterwards Few instances of old ones converted c. Besides old age says one is the time to spend grace Youth to get it old age to reap the fruit of Holiness youth to sow the seed of it and are not young ones in their youth dedicated and consecrated to God by virtue of their Baptism and is it not Sacriledg to impropriate the service of that to sin and Satan that is dedicated to God And do not young ones die as well as old and are there not Skulls in Golgotha of all sizes How many are taken away in the very prime of their days and flower of their age And young ones must appear before God at the great day of judgment as well as elder I saw the dead says John both small and great stand before God Rev. 20.12 they were all there c. And how well was it therefore for this precious Soul she began so soon 2. As concerning her sense of sin and sorrow for her soul-distempers THE distempers of my body trouble me and I am ready to complain because of pain but they do not sad me but the distempers of my soul they much sad me yea even sink me I am very much troubled with this body of sin and death and that I can do and receive no more good When I pray for health and the removing of the distempers of my Body then methinks I pray but slenderly in comparison but when I pray for the removing of the distempers of my Soul then I pray most earnestly so that when I have begun I know not how as it were to make an end yea I am so earnest in desiring God to cure the one that I am ready to forget to beg of him the cure of the other Sorrow for other things makes me sleep the more but when it is for sin I cannot sleep but the night is as the day Going once to a Lecture and hearing a Minister speaking of the signs of a Child of God and he answering a Christians complaint as concerning his sins But how says he dost thou wear them as a Gold chain or ornament or as an Iron chain and as Fetters that manacle thee and as that thou would'st fain be rid of c This though very sad and much troubled before so that she was loath to have gone What should such a one as I do going I shall but fill up room and do no good c. Yet this so comforted her that said she I even laughed for joy and though going late I stood all the while yet after that I was not weary I am much troubled at my unbelief impatiency And she being once in a special manner but tempted to a sin she had such an abhorrency thereof that it eaus'd her as she told me to shed a Thousand tears and it was as if a Sword had been run into her c. And how often did she complain not of her sikness but sius c 3. As concerning Satans temptations and his fierce onsets formerly WHen I was very young I had sometimes neglected prayer and I dream'd one night the Devil was pulling me to Hell and I trembled and quak'd and methoughts I was even at the Pits brink but some Scriptures comforted me and afterward to prevent the same I would get Scriptures by heart when I went to bed Satan hath often formerly much troubled me and I have been afraid of that roaring Lyon that when I went to sleep he would devour me but the Lord methoughts told me though he was mine enemy yet he was in Chains and so I have found him me thought I saw him at
greater blessing to my Relations and to get clearer evidences for Heaven c. So tender was she of the honour of God that when says she carnal people come to see me though I am ill and weak yet I strive all I can then to bear up and to be cheerful for why should they think the God of Israel is not a good God c I am willing to live if I may honour my God more and do him better service and receive more good then I desire he would spare me c. but if he please not to prolong my life I desire to submit to his Will I am afraid lest I should dishonour him by thinking my time long c. Where she lived before there being an Ale-house at next door where God was much dishonoured and his Name blasphemed it was a very great trouble and affliction to her and when she was removed though by reason of her great weakness and illness it was not without much danger and difficulty she very much rejoyced that now she should not dye among swearers and blasphemers O says she that we could more and more depend upon our good God and honour him more in a way of believing who hath manifested himself a God so ready to help and deliver his poor Servants in the time of their streights O that I could more and more honour him and it is the grief of my soul when any distrustful thoughts do arise and my great fear is lest I should dishonour God either by distrust or impatiency When thou art absent I want thy company but yet am contented may it be for Gods Glory and then it will be for our mutual good c. 6. As concerning her thankfulness and her being much in blessing and praising God ALways when I awake the first word I say is Blessed be God if I be at ease I bless him and if in pain I bless him it is no worse and I find much comfort in blessing of God and trusting in him And if God sees it good I should yet live I would live to praise him and speak good of his name I bless God he helps me to bear what he lays upon me I bless God my pains are not so great to day as they have been now my strength is less Dost not thou see God is making my passage ea sie I bless God Blessed be the Lord for ever that he will take such pains with such a poor worm to fit me for Heaven He is a God at hand and not a far off neither hath been as a stranger he hath given me much patience and quiet submission to his Will all along to him be the glory thereof When I am in great extremity and never a part free yet blessed be God he lays no more on me then he inables me to bear I bless God I find much comfort in my soul which does much support me Fearing she might too much waste her spirits with speaking I desired her to forbear but I cannot said she but speak good of my God whiles I can speak When I am gone though God should bring further affliction upon thee and thy family yet be thankful whatever you do be thankful Being one night under grievous pains she quietly resign'd her self up to God saying if he please to give me rest I will thank him if not I will submit to him That night prov'd a comfortable night to her c. She would often have that expression I desire to bless our good God and to be very thankful to our good God that word good God she often had and what do I do complaining when I have enjoyed so much health c. But it was not much she ever injoyed but a little is much to a truly thankful heart who looks upon it self as never deserving the good it receives but more than deserving the evil it suffers and he also turning that unto good Thus that which is her whole work now in Heaven was much her work here on Earth to be blessing and praising and giving thanks to God and that in every thing even when God was sharply afflicting her She had her Psalms of praise in the wilderness her songs in the night What then has she now in that inheritance of the Saints in light She glorified God in the fires Isa 25.15 That is in and under great afflictions What does she now in that place of refreshings Those Angels and heavenly Heroes about the Throne whom she is now praising and singing Hallelujah's with in Heaven she much conformed to even here on Earth here below and now she is wholly taken up with that blessed delightful work above where it is Hallelujah and again Hallelujah Blessing honour glory and power be unto him that sitteth upon the throne and unto the Lamb for ever and ever Amen Rev. 5.13 7. As concerning her weanedness from the World I am leaving this pitiful poor world this low valley the Lord hath weaned me from the things here below I could not say what it was I delighted in here but my delight was in God and in his sweet Word c. When I lived in the Countrey the Casement being one day open I was â—ooking into the Garden and I thought thus with my self Many they much delight in Gardens and Flowers c. but methinks I have no delight in these nor in any outward thing though the most I have had in any outward thing hath been in Gardens and to walk in the Fields Trouble me no more with these things I am now leaving all here below let me only mind now how to get to that heavenly Sion above c. I am seeking a City to come an habitation with God in whose presence is fulness of joy and at whose right band are pleasures for evermore Psal 16.11 Thus her way was above and she was still looking not at the things which are seen which are temporal but at the things which are not seen which are eternal 2 Cor. 4.18 By faith she overcame the world and was carried after higher and better things even those things hoped for and not seen which Faith is the substance and evidence of Heb. 11.1 These things were poor mean low vile things to her better being discovered even spiritual heavenly and eternal the things within the vail She was cloth'd with the Sun had true faith in Christ the Sun of righteousness with which she was adorn'd and now the Moon the World and all the mutable things thereof are under her feet and she treads on the worlds trash c. 8. As concerning her Humility Meekness Lowly-mindedness Charity c. I Am a dry stick a worm a poor worm a poor worthless worm I have nothing but in Christ I have all And his yoke she had taken upon her Matt. 11.29 and learn'd of him the lesson of meekness and lowly-mindedness There is says she a little Gold and a great deal of Dross Hearing how ill another was what am
have not felt the ground I have gone upon When my pains are greatest I have usually most peace and that upholds me Not long before her death she told one of her relations that she was so ravished with the contemplation of the love of God in Christ that it did even swallow her up so as that she was not able to bear it nor contain it but was forced to remit and let go her present thoughts thereof And the ground of my comfort is the assurance of the love of God which he hath given me And what is the assurance of Gods love worth It is more worth than a thousand worlds and I will not let it go it makes me for joy as it were to fly up and down Thus Gods Love was better to her than Wine yea than Life and the Love of God and the assurance thereof is indeed a Cordial that will revive when none other can nor will none to that This is the very life of our lives the light of our day the â—un of our firmament the spring of our year the joy of our hearts the solace of our souls the strength comfort and support of our spirits the mercy of mercies the blessing of blessings so much better than life that life it self without it is no better than death But this is life even in death and hence the Prophet David prays for this for his Cordial and comfort Psal 119.76 Let I pray thee thy merciful kindness be for my comfort c. And this was the cordial and comfort of this blessed Saint now in Heaven in all her tryals and afflictions while here 3. The word and promises of God These were to her as a banqueting or house of wine as staying flagons and comforting apples as green pastures and still waters c. Cant. 2.4 5. Psal 23.2 As that word Rev. 3.19 As many as I love I rebuke and chasten And Heb. 12.10 But he for our profit that we might be partakers of his holiness And Rom. 8.28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God c. One night she repeated over to her self several promises which she said God brought to her mind and were a very sweet cordial to her Such as Psal 34.22 The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate Vers 10. The young lyons do lack and suffer hunger but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing Isa 40.11 He shall gather the Lambs with his arm and carry them in his bosom c. Vers 29 He giveth power to the faint and to them that have no might he increaseth strength c. I am much comforted with that promise Isa 43.25 and I would even live upon it I even I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake and will not remember thy sins c. There were two places of Scripture which did more especially much run in her mind of late and were very comforting to her one was 1 Cor. 15.55 O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory c Vers 57 But thanks be to God who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ The other Job 19.25 26 27 For I know that my Redeemer liveth and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth And though after my skin worms destroy this body yet in my flesh shall I see God Whom I shall see for my self and mine eyes shall behold and not another though my Reins be consumed within me These words were very refreshing to her and were the words discoursed of by Dr. Jacomb at her Funeral though it being propounded to her she acknowledged her great unworthiness that any such thing should be done for her but it might she said do good to the living Those words especially Whom I shall see for my self and mine eyes shall behold and not another she often repeated and was much comsorted by For my self for my self And blessed be God now she sees God for her self even for her self and is in the actual possession of that blessedness of which the contemplation was so sweet to her here She is now seeing God in Heaven in her soul and though after her skin worms destroy her body yet she also shall in due time her body being rais'd see God in her flesh for her self and her eyes shall behold and not another though her reins be consumed within her But her soul is now at present injoying that vision indeed she beholds man no more here with the inhabitants of the world as Hezekiah spake Isa 38 11 neither sees she any more her near and dear relations but she sees a far better sight she sees and injoys God and shall do so for ever and so is now in the participation of the comfort wrapt up in that Scripture and knows experimentally what it is to see God which she had been so long praying and waiting for and to see him for her self for her self and not another as she repeated it Asking her once what it was that comforted her This said she that God hath brought home his promises to my soul and applied them to me he hath said this promise belongs to thee Isa 54.7 8 For a small moment have I forsaken thee but with great mercies will I gather thee In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment but with everlasting kindress will I have mercy on thee saith the Lord thy Redeemer O how full and sweet is this promise c. Thus Gods Word and Promises were very comforting and refreshing to her very sweet yea sweeter than honey and the honey-comb they were her songs in the house of her pilgrimage better to her than thousands of gold and silver and she rejoyced thereat as one that findeth great spoil Psal 119 54 72 162 111. And by those things as Hezekiah said She lived and in all these things was the life of her spirit Isa 38.16 and she might well say as once the Prophet David and as a precious Saint and dear sister of hers long since formerly said Vnless thy Law had been my delights I should then have perished in my affliction Psal 119.2 And the Word of God is the best Cordial in the world Thus that which supported them both was the Word of God and indeed in several respects * Mrs. Elizabeth Moor sometimes of Aldermanbury London who dyed now many years since and at whose funeral Mr. Calamy preached as she desired on those words Psal 119.92 Which Scrmon with several others on the same Text were long since extant And to them we annexed her evidences for Heaven both these dear Sisters and their cases were much a-like both examples of great affliction as also of extraordinary patience in which they possessed their souls both brought to such a sweet humble submissive frame as to be willing to undergo whatever the Lord was pleas'd to