saith blessed Mr. Bradford it must be such a trust as may be called a Dwelling Here you must stay here you must abide not suffering your Souls to be outed by violence of temptation nor voluntary giving up the possesion â— is a wonder I say again that when the wind of temptation blows high and strong Psal 62.9 Poor Man lighter then a feather lighter then vanity should be any note found Or that grace should ever be able to shew its head when fiery scorching heats of temptation smite the heart Yet so it is The secret of the most high is a place above all destructive storms the shadow of the Almighty is no Jonahs Gourd but a thick a safe shelter from the scorching beams of temptation the fiery darts of the Devil Wait on the Lord oh my Soul hope in his mercy here stay here wait here dwell in waiting let no force nor fraud of Hell perswade thee to depart hence and thou art safe for ever I have shewed already how Satan missed of his design which he had upon me in his first delusion He would have had me being greatly afrighted at the thoughts of Hell to give up my hopes of Heaven and as a means to effect that did to my apprehension present to my view the Lord Christ departing from me This he did whiles I was under bodily weakness from which God mercifully set me free But as I said before and find since by long and lamentable experience his malicious purpose in that delusion did not end when the terror of it was abated His practice upon me so filled my thoughts for many years after that it wonderfully hindred me from receiving my Lord Christ in that faithfulness as I should have done He departed from me so as that the violence of his temptations were nothing so great as in the time when he first was let loose upon me but so much of them still stuck and staid behind as did make me drive on but heavily in the wayes of God filling me with many slavish fears and doubts and thereby making my closure with Jesus Christ upon the offer of the Gospel the more difficult and his own entrance at another season more possible and easy The Lord indeed gave me a gratious deliverance but Satans war with poor souls is not ended after the first battle His hopes are that that fort which is not won at first onset may be conquered at last He was not out of hope of finding a fitter season to renew his temptations against Christ the head though he found he had enough of him in the first Combate Luke 4.13 The text saith when the Devil had ended all the temptations he departed from him for a season How little doth the thoughts of this affect our hearts we are apt to fall asleep as soon as the fit of trouble is over as if our enemy were afraid to shew himself any more or as if his second attempts would be no worse then the first or we our selves in a better posture for resistance Whereas there is nothing more true then the contrary nor any thing more unbeseeming a Christian then to forget his past dangers or remit his dilligeâ—ne and slacken his hand in services of his God and his pretious soul To grow careless negligent and secure after such deliverances or indeed at any time Is 1. Sinful 1 Thes 5.6 Let others sleep as they will Jesus Christ will not have his people do so Math. 26.41 To watch is a duty then which none more frequently enjoyned A duty that carryeth much mercy in the bowels of it A watchful frame will beget and maintain a praying frame wherever it is And both together will be a good means if not to keep off yet at least to keep up the soul under the heavy load of temptation our blessed Lord who himself hath suffered being tempted and is able to succour us who are tempted Heb. 3.18 Hath yet thought it fit to employ poor souls this way during their lucid intervals and quiet hours Encouraging us thereunto by this It may be a preservative from entring into temptations Watch and pray and pray least ye enter into c. Math. 26.41 2. A careless behaviour after deliverance is not only sinful but foolish The folly of it appeareth in these considerations 1. The Devil himself is not at quiet he is rallying up his forces after every Conquest he is renewing his war again with greater fury What he doth in this matter he knoweth he shall gain nothing by but the fulfilling of his malicious and revengeful pleasure in the downfall of our immortal souls And shall he be thus active in a matter of so small advantage to himself and we remain stupid when the gain is an immortal matchless gain and that our own gain too oh how unbeseeming how foolish a thing is this we may well collect how Satan takes his ejectments out of the souls and bodies of Men by the account that the Disciples brought back to their great Master touching the success of their ministry Luke 10.17 Lord say they even the Devils are subject to us through thy name This was the return they made and the text saith 't was with joy Christ allows it to be matter of rejoycing because hardly effected v. 18. And he said unto them I beheld Satan as lightening fall from Heaven To be permitted to rule in man is the Devils Heaven To be cast out thence is a torment next to Hell It is not more contrary to the nature of flame to move downward then to that evil spirit to be removed out of his place in man meer force mighty force must fetch him thence his fall is as the fall of lightening 2. It animates and armes our enemy for a sooner and sorer onset Satan needeth not stay long to find advantages against a sleepy soul The bed of sloathful security will aford room enough for him but none for Jesus Christ And the onset is like to be more sore as well as more soon Old sores not healed every touch goes to the heart Cant. 3.1 24. Ch. 5.2 c. The spouse had more a do to get â—id of her second disertion then of the first although victorious in both Security and unwary walking in a time of peace when there is liberty and leisure to fortify our selves is but a sorry posture for such especially whose enemies are upon the march Of all enemies none carry greater dread or greater danger then those that come on the sudden Gen. 49.17 As Dan that Serpent in the way and Adder in the path dealt with the men of Laish who dwelt careless quiet and secure Judg. 18.7.10.27 So the Devil that old Serpent the fiery red Dragon abours to do with souls negligent to secure â—heir spiritual peace In a word an heart so stupid after deliverance as not to be deeply and durably affected with its past danger and future duty of love to Jesus Christ and pressing after a more distinct
why say you my way is hidden from the Lord and my judgement passed over of my God know you not or have you not heard that the everlasting God the Lords of the ends of the Earth is neither weary nor fainteth but giveth strength to him that fainteth the young men shall faint and be weary but they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength and lift up their wings as the Eagle they shall run and not faint In that day when the Mountains of the Lords house shall be established above the Mountains of the Earth for which glorious day I shall not cease to pray for O thou eternal being of beings whose name is Jehovah the Lord of Hosts who hast made the Heavens the earth the great sea and all the Creatures therein for the manifesting of thy blessed self in thine excellency that so by the displaying of thy glorious attributes we might know thy power wisdom and goodness and fear thy great and glorious name and truly Lord thou hadst done a most sweet work in the day wherein thou beheldst the works of thy hands and said they were very good O the great engagements of love and obedience thou hast laid upon us in that day when thou hadst advanced us and made us not only Lords of the works of thine hands and for our use putting all things in subjection under our feet but making us after thine own Image in righteousness and holiness whereby thou didst enable us to the performance of worship and obedience thou requirest at our hands But O the great dishonour and Rebellion we acted against thee our Creator in breaking thy holy Law which thou gavest us to keep as the Tryal of our obedience and by giving more credit unto Sathan in believing him and what he said then the threatnings of thee our God and therefore O Lord how righteous wast thou in thy judgements upon them and us their posterity in delivering us into the hands of Satan so that we who came from their loins came so deformed with that cursed Image of Satan that we are born thine enemies children of wrath and heirs of vengeance and bringing upon our selves a woful necessity of sinning against thee O Lord how justly mightest thou laid upon our first Parents and we their posterity to have born thy righteous punishments for ever without Redemption But blessed Lord thou didst in judgement remember mercy in condescending to treat with our Parents letting out that gratious promise That the seed of the woman should break the serpents head revealing mercy by a second Adam to come and so entring into a new covenant not of works but of grace that believing in him we should have eternal Life O gratious Father how didst thou magnifie thy mercy over the works of thine hands and didst do a work more wonderful then the Creation in giving the eternal word the brightness of thy glory the express Image of thy self thine only begotten Son by an eternal generation to take upon him the nature of man and to be born of the blessed Virgin that so he might by an Hupostatical union joy the humanity to the diety that so he might be enabled to undergo the work of mans Redemption a work so wonderful that all the Angels could not have devised and into which they pry into with admiration that thereby he might make such an attonement that might satisfie for the sins of man to the utmost and that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have Eternal Life And now dear Father thou hast given us the word of reconciliation the witness of thy truth wherein thou hast made known to us that thou hast given us eternal Life by Jesus Christ that immaculate Lamb of God who hath laid down his Life upon the Cross to answer thy justice and by his sufferings merits and Righteousness Resurrection from Death to Life hath cancelled the Law of condemnation taking down the wall of partition and making admission for sinners to come to the Throne of Grace with boldness And now hast given us pretious promises that what we ask in the name of thy son shall be done for us And now dear Father of Heaven what was I or my Fathers family but a sinful generation of men That thou shouldst choose me to salvation before the world was and in due time to call me to the knowledge of this mistery of mans Redemption and by the witness of thy word and blessed spirit should seal unto me the pardon of sin in the day when thou deliveredst me out of the hands of that roaring Lyon And after my seeking thy face for many years with doubtings and fears under many desertions and dreadful temptations and many various dispensations which thou most blessed God hast turned all to my advantage breaking into my Soul with so much love that I know not whom of the sons of men did ever receive a greater mercy And now Lord of thy goodness hast called me from the ways of the world to be of the number of those whom thou hast chosen to eternal Life and therefore having tasted so abundantly of thy strange Love a Love to admiration a Love we are not able to apprehend in the acknowledgement whereof and that I might declare what a God thou art according to mine engagement and that I might exalt thy glorious name and declare thy loving kindness to me to the ends of the earth have made bold to present these lines to the publick view for the magnifying of thy mercies to me the worst of the sons of men and the greatest of sinners if thou shouldest charge my sins upon me and be thou pleased to accept of what I have written in good part and let thy blessing so go along with it that the delusions methods devices and temptationt of Sathan that old cunning Serpent may be so discovered to poor souls that lye under his cruelty may receive advantage thereby When they shall read this small discourse of thy gratious actings with me O let thy blessing be upon iâ— that they may receive comfort thereby that thy goodness may be magnâ—fied which thou knowest Lord to be the only cause I have given it to the publick view who never thought my namâ— should have appeared in such a way And now dear Father I humbly beseech thee manifest thy glorious Gospel of thy Son to the ends of the Earth that all Nations may know thou art a God through Jesus Christ forgiving iniquity transgression and sin and to that end I humbly beseech thee fulfill thy word in pouring out thy indignation upon that whore of Babylon who hath dyed her garments red in the blood of the Saints that we may say Babylon Babylon is fallen and upon all the powers that oppose the righteous Scepter of thy Son the Gospel whom thou hast made King of Kings and Lord of Lords and hast given him the Heathen for his inheritance and the utmost ends of the earth for his possession who
to the Deliverer To have God deserting a Soul and permitting Satan to Rage and Rule so far that it believeth all his suggestions and is not able to believe the contrary expecting nothing but the lowermost Hell This was my condition and when I have told you so though you might perceive something of my sad and wearysome Life yet cannot the misery be expressed by me nor conceived by you a thousand worlds had I been owner would I have given for a Free Spirit a heart enabled to shake off the meditating and pondering upon Hell torments as the things that methoughts I should for ever dwell with Now I say when all this lay upon my Soul and I expected no deliverance then for the Lord my God to surprize and break in upon me with so glorious and unexpected a mercy who can but set forth the loving kindness of so gratious a God and Saviour I may therefore boldly say to any poor Soul let his distress be never so great yet if he have but so much faith as to believe the Scriptures and that Jesus is the Son of God and died for sinners though he hath no assurance for himself no more hopes then I had not a spark of Grace in his own apprehension Is 50.10 Yet let him trust in the name of the Lord and stay himself upon his God Let him wait for the Lord will come Is 8.17 And such a faith is sufficient for such a Soul in that condition In my distress before my God gave me experience of Light Love and Salvation I engaged by promise that if my God would give me deliverance I would declare to his Saints abroad what he had done for me and that as Satan suggested to me before that I should be a shame to Professors so would I declare his wiles and devices and what a lying unclean and murdering Spirit he is that in what I could his designs of ruine against poor Souls might be frustrated and the Lord having heard my vows setting me at liberty a strong temptation fell upon me to pray that God would assist me in performance of them nor were my prayers single or alone I had the help of such as feared God about me my body at that time was very much disordered Yet he that prepared my heart to pray enclined his Ear to hear enabling with speed and ease to the wonder of some to Write the ensuing discourse I here present to open view with much hope that the same hand that made it easie to me will make it useful to many who may be troubled in Spirit For the comfort of such and the discovery of Sathans subtilty the good of them and hurt of none but Him are the ends I have in publishing this experimental Relation begging that the Lord would exalt his great and glorious Name in magnifying his Mercy to all Eternity by dealing thus with many poor Souls as he hath done with his poor servant Charles Langford The Captive delivered Or a Relation of the great things which the Lord the mighty God of Heaven and Earth did for his poor Servant C. L. in delivering him out of the midst of violent and dreadful temptations April 16. 1669. witnessing to his Soul the greatness of his mercy in the midst of his sins and magnifying his free-grace in sealing it with the comfortable perswasion of his being one of Abrams believing seed and this when under great unworthiness and unbelief all which he now desires in thankfulness and according to his vows in the day of his distress to declare to the people of God and to as many as shall read it CHAP. I. Of the Original cause of all troubles what share the Authour had therein Why seeing all men are by nature the children of wrath do not all thus feel the weight of it the particular occasion of his first awakening Satans design in it Gods over-ruling and turning it to good VVHen I consider the sad estate wherein all the sinful Sons of Adam lye how through the most righteous judgement of God for our wilful transgression of his holy Law which he gave for a rule and tryal of our obedience miserably they are deprived of a most blessed estate Gods Image and blessed presence once had and enjoyed and how dangerously depraved and swollen up into an enmity against God their Maker their nature is I am so far from wondring at the horror that sometimes here and there one is surprized withall that I must confess 't is a far greater wonder to me that any are found to live at ease Dread and horror are the best fruit that can be had for eating of the forbidden tree If meer justice ruled the world the thickets would be every mans habitation Magor Missabib might be the fittest name for Adams race Jer. 20.3 fear round about now degenerated into a brood of vipers 'T is a wonder sin hath not found out and frightned the sinner upon earth that caught him in and cast him out of Paradice If it spared him not there how should it pass him by here if it turned him out of his walk his most delightful walk with the God of bliss there why hath it not tumbled him down into a bed of fire â—ere sure I am sorrow and distress of conscience is as much an attendant upon sin and guilt as the shadow is of the body as hear is of the fire as dark shadows were of the night by this the children of the day are transformed into those of the night and the heirs of God into haters of God and children of wrath and such are all men without exception in a natural condition These considerations make it less to be wondred at I say that any man should groan under the burthen of sin which lyes so heavy upon all it being a far greater wonder as I said before that the just holy and righteous God should so long suspend the execution of the antient sentence past upon Adam and his posterity or that any of the inhabitants of the earth should not sear their dropping into Hell and dread their danger I for my part must to the honour of my strong Redeemer take to my self the guilt of that first transgression and acknowledge that from the loins of the first Adam hath a venemous empoisoned nature been conveyed unto me Let no man say or think that any part of my past misery sprung from any other fountain then this evil nature I know that amidst the numberless number of Satans artifices this is one of his main engines whereby he would keep poor captive souls from the ways of life and peace He labours to bring up an evil report of such ways representing religion as the great incending as well in the Consciences as in the Kingdoms of Men and with as much confidence avers it as wicked Ahab did of the good Prophets that profession of the Gospel attended with it's required strictness is the grand trouble of the world
him in the way of his judgements And now publick assemblies which were wont to be a great solace to me in my distress being not to be enjoyed in that purity I expected and the practise of the publique ministers being so contrary to my judgement and conscience I neither could nor would upon any terms become a hearer of them and thereupon did rather choose to expose my self to the scorn and displeasure of men in keeping meetings every Lords day in my Family Spending that day in prayer and praises and as occasion was offered dayes of humiliation These duties having most of them been my practise for many years wherein I served the Lord withall my might though sometimes under much dejection about the beginning of April my good God through the purchase made by the bloud of his Son that blessed seed of the Woman through whom he had covenanted with out first Parents immediately after the fall to give eternal life having by earnest prayer and intercession I humbly claiming this from the Lord that he would account and make me righteous through that purchase and redemption made by Christ now resolved to take up and put an end to the quarrel which he had against me for all my sins yet to let me know my deserving and to manifest a further work upon me did suffer the enemy to break in again upon me in most dreadful manner Charging upon me that one sin as formerly named above others with such violence and power That I believe I was in as great despair for the time as ever man was My soul by that malicious enemy to mankind being stuffed with all abominations of hellish thoughts injections cursed instigations with other base and abominable vile immaginations he at last infused into me as much malice against my blessed God as possibly he could I thought now I was utterly forsaken living in expectation of nothing but the lower most hell and brought now again almost to blaspheme When I saw that I was in this most dreadful case fearing I should I have wilfully blasphemed I could have been well content that God should have damned me and thrown mâ— into hell fear of being over tempted and thereby to blaspheme God made me weary of life When my Wife would put me on to pray for a blessing upon my meat I did it feignedly being willing to be starved if I could And now in this dreadful condition so dreadful that I believe few Sons of Adam were ever in a worse that did not do the things that I feared i. e. blaspheme God and destroy himself I say being in such a condition and the sin so often spoken of lying still heavy upon me and shame withholding me from revealing it for many years it pleased God to over-rule my spirit that I sent for a worthy Minister of Jesus Christ who coming to me the day before my deliverance I acquainted him with that sin which did so lye upon my Conscience and never was revealed before Well remembring how holy David Ps 32.3.5 who while he kept silence his waxed old through his roaring all the day long did but say he would confess his sin and the Lord forgave his iniquity So the Lord the very next day came and set my soul at rest The comfort and help that I found from my natural relations and friends this woful condition was none at all but instead of pitty I met with reproach from many only my dear yoke fellow was my fellow sufferer of whom I can say the Lord gave her to me for such a day as this to be his blessed instrument of my deliverance for when I was even distracted she laid the glory of the Lord deeply to her heart and did daily bring the word of God to my soul reading with great dilligence the holy Scriptures Which being done then powring forth her soul to the Lord with ardent affections and with a mighty faith in our gratious God who had manifested his great love to her in former troubles the experience of which encouraged her to go on still in earnest and frequent prayer and expectation that the Lord would accomplish the work of deliverance And upon the sixteenth day of April 1669. a day for ever to be solemnized as glorious and honourable to the Lord by me his poor creature she going on in her constant course of prayer after she had given the Lord his holy and reverend titles using Moses his arguments brake forth into these words My Father my Father what wilt thou do with mine husband he hath been speaking and acting still in thy cause oh destroy him not for thine own glory Oh! what dishonor will come to thy great name if thou do it Oh! rather do with me what thou wilt oh do with me what thou wilt but spare my Husband c. Thus laying hold of that word of God in the Prophet With a lively faith concerning your Sons and your Daughters command you me and striving mightily in prayer the duty being eâ—ded the Lord immediately appeared and then that Lyon of the tribe of Judah that blessed seed of the Woman that second Adam that promised Messiah the Son of the living God who had formerly broke the Serpents head he who in a single duel had disarmed the Devil in the Wilderness tâ—od the Wine press of his Fathers wrath alone this Jesus the Saviour who knew how to succour tempred souls made hare his holy arm and his own right hand brought dâ—liverance he delivered me from my strong enemy and saved mâ— from him that hated me He that is pleased to stile himself a God hearing prayer and in most of his great works delights to advance his own power by using small and unlikely means after long tarrying and in a time when I looked not for him came now and owned his own ordinance crowned the cryes and faith and patience of a poor Woman with such success that my praise shall be continually of him The proud mâ—y scorn but the humble shall hear ther of and be glad That roaring Lyon mine adversary the Devil that old Serpent that red-Dragon that unclean Spirit that Lyar Accuser Murtherer from the beginning that Apollion to the Geeckâ— Abbaddon to the Jews and destroyer to all for as are the names given him by the word of truth so is his nature and so hath he laboured mightily for a long season to shew himself in me even now when he thought himself almost seated in the pâ—ssâ—ssion of his long sought Dominion and that there was no casting of him out of my soul which â—e abused making it his dunghil whereon he laid all the filth of hellish thoughts and abominations that he could wanting nothing but my will that Fort-royal to have put me under an eternal vassalage to his long laid desigâ—s now I say was that accursed enemy to God and me his poor creature sent to his own place by my dear Lord Christ that holy Son of the blessed God who took
upon him my nature that he might become my Lord and King Saviour and Redeemer who brake the doors of Brass rescued me from the Rape of Hellish furies cast them out delivered my darling soul from the power of the Dog and barred the Gate that he could enter no more to stuff my thoughts with his detestable injections although he attempted a return Thou hast thrust fore at me oh mine enemy that I might fall but the Lord helped me many a time may I now say have these things afflicted me from my youth many a time have they afflicted me from my youth yet they have not prevailed against me The Plowers plowed upon my back they made long their furrows but the righteous Lord he hath cut asunder the cords of the weeked one I was brought low and the Lord helped me He hath delivered my soul from death mine eyes from tears and my feet from falling Oh Lord my God I will give thanks to thee for ever CHAP. V. Concluding the whole experiment with an account of the unconceivable sweetness of divine consolations the usual consequent of long and sort temptations a more then abundant reason to abide Gods leisure under the heavy load of dâ—sertions Of the cause of writing ANd now at last when the Lord my Lord of whom the Father said sit thou at my right hand until I make thy enemies thy foot-stoolâ— had set my soul at freedom by his mighty power he sent his blessed spirit the holy Ghost that most glorious self evidencing and sweet comforter whose sweetness no heart can conceive but he who hath tasted how good he is who shewed me from the Father and his blessed Son that all the miseries afore mentioned pressing me down were the delusions of Satan and whereas he intended to have made me a shame and reproach to all that should know or hear of my overthrow that now my God hath taken advantage of the greatness of my sins thereby to magnifie his mercy in pardoning thereof according to my cry in the day of my distress and that now I was of Abrahams Family numbred among the spiritual Children of Abraham a priviledge which I often especially under my troubles prized highly and desired earnestly to be partaker off The blessed spirit bearing witness of these things wrought in my soul such unconceiveable joy that in the words of Thomas I cryed out my Lord and my God so ravishing were the kisses of those divine lips of love that my heart was silled with joy unspeakable and glorious my mouth with laughter my body much weakened by the anguish and horror of my soul so that I kept my Chamber for many dayes together was now revived and my youth renewed as the Eagle that casteth her Beak so that I became as lightsome as if I had not known sorrow to the great admiration of my Friends who had known my long confinement to my Chamber by reason of sorrow and heavyness My heart my sorrowful heart of which I was wont to cry out None so fad none so disquieted as thou was now through the joy of the Lord quite altered The spirit of my God now covering me with the glorious robes of his Sons righteousness turned my mourning into dancing put off my Sackcloath and girded me with gladness gave me a garment of praise for the spirit of heavyness so that then and since being upheld by the same hand I could say I carry about me a chearful heart and a much more healthy body notwithstanding the great disappointments I in my worldly condition then met with and still lye under Being now enabled by faith to apprehend my self justified through the righteousness of God even the righteousness of Jesus Christ imputeth to poor sinners the guilt the obligation of my sins to punishment being taken away I can now through the tender mercy of God whereby the day spring from on high hath visited me comfortably give a challenge to Death and the Grave Oh Death where is thy sting oh Grave where is thy victory my dear Lord having ransomed me from the power and fear of the grave and helping me in despight of him that hath the power of death that is the Devil to look upon my self as one of those whom God the Father hath given to the Son as part of the travaile of his soul so that the Lord Christ delights in me as the gift of his Father and the purchase of his own bloud And my God loveth me with the same love wherewith he loveth his Son and all the promises of grace made to sinners in the holy word through Jesus Christ I have an interest in and expect to have fulfilled to me as far as it shall tend to his glory and my good He that gave me his Son will freely also give me all good things Well may I therefore take up the words of the Prophet Oh Lord I will praise thee for though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away and thou comfortedst me For the iniquity of my soul thou wast wroth with me and smotâ—st me but now thou hast healed me and restored comforts to me the Lord Jehovah is my strength and song he also is become my salâ—ation I waited patiently for the Lord and he encâ—â—ned his ear to me and heard my cry he drew my feet out of an horrible pit out of the miry clay and hath set me upon a Rock and established my goings What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits I will call upon him as long as I live I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people When the Lord Jesus is pleased to go away to withdraw the comfortable warm beams of his love and presence from the sight and sence of his poor people Joh. 16.6 like the Apostles their hearts are filled with heavyness they think every day a week and every week a month and every month a year the time seemeth tedious till he return till he lifteth up the light of his countenance till he restores comforts to them like the mother of Sisera they are putting forth their heads crying why are his Chariot wheels so long in coming But oh that such would remember what I now find that it is expedient for them that he should sometimes go away from them withholding his consolations for the holy Ghost the Comforter shall one time or other come to such as wait for it with such joy and peace that passeth all understanding of eye ear and heart of man And then long time spent in waiting shall seem but a little moment Is 40 2. and they shall receive double pay for all the punishments of their iniquities The Children of this world in this are wiser in their generation then the Children of light no discouragement of wind or rain can make them forbear their seasons of sowing in hope nor can the interposition of many perillous months delay work a dissolution of the hope that
particulars would be long In a word thou thinkest possibly as once good David in another case that all men are liars thy temptations may beget such hasty expressions as to say the case hath not been with others as they represent it or to doubt their deliverance to be but feigned at the best or else a short parrole a meet reprieve not a discharge from the like or worse enthrallment Or if things have been truly related it only proves what God can do not what Hell will do as if the mercy of God did not bear an equal proportion with his power Think of what thou wilt or canst that may make against thee and yet I shall continue to beg Give not up your hopes hold on seeking after God you have not yet waited forty years he will come in a time when you look not for him Your case is not yet desperate 'T is not so bad with you but 't was as bad with me 2. My earnest suite is also that in stead of regarding dreams visions voices and other delusions you give credit to the un-erring word of God and oppose that against them all The generall drift design and scope of the book of God is to perswade man unbelieving man that God is mercyful That sin never damned any man yet simply and of it self but as qualified by wilfulness and unbelief That though God be a consuming fire a jealous God yet fury is not in him Is 27.4 His jealousie he puts upon him as a Cloak a meer covering a loose garment and this he never puts on till provoked by the obstinate refusals of love and mercy Even under the dark and terrible administrations of the Law how clearly did this doctrine shine forth Exod. 34 6 7. The Lord the Lord gratious and merciful long suffering and abundant in goodness and truth Keeping mercy for thousands forgiving iniquity transgressions and sin This is his name for ever this his memoriall to all generations This the strong tower of souls hungring and thirsting after righteousness Oh le ts not be beaten out of this perswasion by any Hellish suggestion What great advantage the Devil makes of dreams visions and the like now under the Gospel wherein God speaketh to us only by his Son Heb. 1.1 2. the woful experience I have doth in some measure manifest The overmuch credit I gave to the delusion laid upon me in my first sickness was the root of all the rest This is my second request oppose the word of God against all such Hell-hatcht conceipts as would put you upon the wrack of affrighting doubts Fly from these to that least you suffer as I have done 3. Moreover let me begg this that you stand not to hear what every one saith about Religion but fall thou upon the profession and practise of real Godliness with all the speed thou canst He that is a professor in truth and not in hypocrisy to which conscience it self is able most commonly to bear witness hath the name and glory of the Lord engaged for his relief He that beareth his testimony for Gâ—d and his truths in sincerity God cannot find in his heart to do by him what in justice he might The sins of such as these strike high at the honour of God and therefore well might the Lord destroy and blot out their names for ever But yet he will not Dan 9 18 19. They bear his name upon them what would the more wicked part of the world say if God should arm himself with fury against his own would they not say where is now your God what is become of all your prayers and all your services which you pretend were done for his glory The merciful Lord foreseeth this and his own glory restraineth the hands of the destroyer Deut. 32.26 27. I said I would scatter them into corners and blot out their remembrance from among men were it not that I feared the wrath of the enemy God will not doe against the Professors of his name as much as he can for fear least the enemy should say and do more then he ought Our God is seldom employed in long and wrathful rebukes of his own when they are exposed to the outward rage of their enemieâ— He spareth them then however they escape at another time Oh! then let me intreat thee to make choice of the wayes of holiness as the best and safeest wayes to walk in Run not to seek for shelter from your fears and sorrows amidst the prophane rout of merry worldlings Their sparks of joy cast but little light and how soon shall that be put out alas poor souls the way of peace have they not known City of refuge The horns of the Alter is the likeliest place for security against the Avenger of bloud Consort thy self with those that walk in the truths of practical piety according to the mind of God plainly revealed in his holy word My deliverance God wrought for his own name sake There were sins enough in me fuel enough to maintain the fire of divine displeasure for ever But the name and glory of God are pretious to him If thou hast made profession in sincerity and truth thou maist expect deliverance more then others A sincere professor under teoubles hath more reason to hope then others for the glory of the Lord is engaged for his defence 4. I have this further to add from my own experience That though thing expectation of deliverance must be from God yet not without the use of means 'T is the God of peace alone that can make peace in thy troubled soul or else all thy labour will amount to nothing The lips and labours of the most learned are but fruitless Is 57.19 till the Lord create the fruits of them both and make them yeild peace Cent. 1.18 And yet 't is good to feed by the Shepherds tents A faithful Gospel ministry is an unvalluable mercy Their gifts in preaching and writing are the purchase of the bloud of Christ From the fountain of sacred truths are these Buckets filled And all for the use of poor weak souls that want skill and strength of their own God hath crowned the labours of such and made them men of renown for conversion of souls their labours are the issue of the blessed spirit Ob then lets not rob the Lord of his glory in raising up such lights who have spant themselves in guiding our feet in the ways of peace by their pretious labours the word of God hath been so unfolded and the glorious attributeâ— so explained and sweetly applyed that if poor souls have not been much advantaged the fault hath been too much their own Let me begg of you then to praise the Lord for and to make use of and shew all the due respect you can to these they are the horsemen and the Chariots of the Gospel-Israel the best visible assistance that Earth can afford for management of our spiritual war against the powers of Hell By the
Hell Gates and yet are delivered Let me put you in remembrance of these two or three duties 1. Oh see that you ingage your hearts unto the Lord I will love the Lord with my whole heart I will love him dearly Ps 103.1 c. Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not all his benefits who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseases who redeemeth thy life from destruction who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies Oh pray that your love to him who hath delivered your souls from the snares of cruel death and pulled your feet out of the miry Clay where there was no bottom may encrease and abound more and more Josh 24.14 Sincere affections and dissobedience are the only returns that God looks for Deny not these in the highest degree 2. Give up your lives for the Lord. Be content he shall dispose of them in the way he knoweth best for his glory If he shall call you forth to suffer death for a testimony of your love to him and the Gospel of his Son think it not too much for him Well mayst thou undergo ten thousand natural deaths were it possible for Jesus Christs redemption from the hands of thy spiritual enemies is cause enough for thee to serve him without fear of what man can do unto thee Look upon thy past deliverance as things never no never to be forgotten nor sufficiently to be required by thee 3. Take care now thou hast found him whom thy soul loveth oh take care for his undisturbed residence You know what it is to want the comforting presence of Jesus Christ let those who know not the terrors of the Lord and the fearful consequents of his forsakings venture the displeasure of him by their slighting of his precepts and slothfulness in his paths but let not us do so we that know what it is to be thrown into the depths of horror and how hard as well as sweet is our recovery thence oh let not us dare to sleep upon the top of the mast but rather keeping fast hold upon our beloved by the hand of Faith beg of him that he would not depart out of our hearts lay a strict charge over all the cares and comforts and companies and conditions of this life Canticles 2.7 by the Roes and by the Hindes that they stir not up nor awake our Love until he please 4. If the Lord Jesus Christ shall please for his own glory to walk a while out of your hearts again if he shall at any time withdraw the comforts of the Holy Ghost loose not in Satan again by unbelief distress not your selves overmuch by giving way to the least mistrust as if he would never return Ps 77. and more remember his loving kindness and his works and wonders of old think he never goes away but when it is expedient for us Joh. 16.7 and having already sealed us by the holy spirit of promise given us eye-salve enlightning our understandings in the knowledge of his love whereby we are perswaded our names are written in the book of Life Râ—m 11.29 The gifts and calling of God are without repentance 2 Cor. 1.10 He that hath delivered may well be trusted that he will do so again John 10 29. No Man or Devil can take us out of the hands of God John 13.1 Whom be loveth he loveth to the end Phil. 1.6 He that hath begun a good work will carry it on to the day of Christ 5. You have been delivered from the violence of temptations but remember that yet we carry about us such sinful natures the Fruits of our first Parents transgression that would again put up his head against God and his most righteous Laws yea and take part with Satan against him and our selves too there is yet an unregenerate part the remnant of the old Adam remaining in the best and holiest of mâ—n after all the forty years temptations of Israel in an howling wilderness and when they are brought into the Land of rest Judg. 3. yet there the Amorite will be found nothing but dissolution will fetch the leprosie of natural corruption out of our earthly tabernacles Lev. 14.45 and especially will this cursed corruption annoy us with offers to do the same things that Satan before he was dispossessed would have done my experience tells me some of the old filth still sticks behind The wise God will have it so that the vileness and greatness of our old sins might not be forgotten that we may be poised down with humility and put a longing after natures dissolution till which time sin now twisted with our nature will not be removed this remnant of the old man with its stirrings cannot choose but be an heavy burden to the new Rom. 7.24 't is such a body that it made the very soul of a Paul groan and cry out for a deliverance Ex. 17.16 This â—malck God hath sworn it that he will have war with it for evnr As good Souldiers of Christ our Captain let us be perswaded to hold on our war against this party of corruption yet abiding in our natures and in so doing we have the comfort of these ensuing considerations 1. That this remainder of cursed nature though it be not utterly destroyed yet shall it not have dominion over us so as to bring forth Fruits unto death or to be charged upon our persons to condemnation Rom. 8 2. For by Christ our Lord we are dischargea and set at freedom from the Law of sin and death being under the Covenant of grace we have received the spirit of life and power even that blessed spirit that raised our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead which hath quickned us and put life and power into us in a good measure enabling us to crucifie the flesh with its affections and lusts Gal. 5.24 so that its dominion is taken away though its life be continued for a season 2. And it is but for a season that its life is continued in us the war will not hold always there is a time coming when we shall be delivered from this bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the sons of God Rom. 8.19 c. 23. and not onely we but those very Creatures the Heaven and the Earth shall be set free from that bondage of corruption which lyeth upon them by reason of the sin of man in that day we shall be made like unto the Son of God in our measure The transfiguration upon the Mount seemeth to be a resemblance of that glory wherein Jesus Christ shall appear as he was the Son of David when he shall come to take the Kingdom unto himself then shall the poor benighted Sons of the day welcome in that joyful morning with a new Song and Psalms of tryumphant victory in their hands Rev. 15.3 then shall all the enemies of our Souls be totally subdued and even
GODS Wonderful MERCY IN THE MOUNT of woful EXTREMITY OR The Recovered Captive BEING A plain Relation of Gods unspeakable goodness in rescuing one of the meanest of his flock from the paw of the roaring Lyon and pangs of unconceivable horror through long and strong temptations and spiritual desertions Published 1. For the encouragement of poor distressed consciences worried with temptations and almost quite wearied with waiting 2. For a caution to secure sinners lest they also come into such or sorer torment 3. For a call of all in whose hearts are the ways of God to bear a part in the high praises of him whose wonders are in the deep By Charles Langford I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever Ps 89.1.17 Knowing the terrours of the Lord we perswade men 1 Cor. 5.11 Thou hast turnea for me Ps 30.11.12 London Printed for Anna Brewster at the Golden bellows in Fore-street at Moor-lanâ—â—end 1672. To the Reader THe ensuing Narrative is intended for the good of all and therefore may well expect freedom from the scornfull censures of any But 't is primarily published for the benefit of such who are apt to think feeling the weight of their own sin as of an heavy burden Psal â—8 4 or the wounds of their own Spirit made by the Arrows of the Almighty sent â—rom the Devils bow and poysoned so that â—hey become fiery darts drinking up the â—pirit Job 6.4 that never any man was in â—uch a case as they none ever went so far â—nto the Valley of the shadow of death and â—eturned alive as they are gone for the â—roken in Spirit those whom the terrours â—f God have to use Hemans words distracâ—d and cut off Ps 88.15.16 for the good of these are the ensuing pages penned and therefore from these may they expect the choâ—â—est entertainment 't is no small favour Heaven shews that besides those fixed monuments of mercy erected in the word oâ— truth such as David Job Heâ—â—an yea and the blessed Jesus all which as they were plunged in the depths of Terrors so were they delivered from their fears every agâ— of the Church should have some living test monies of deep calling unto deep and that as Sathans malice so Gods mercy enduâ—eth for ever that some have deep gashes made upon their peace and those unhealed so long till hope seemeth to be cut off and tâ—e cuâ—ed at the last I am sure will be thy meâ—cy O thou afflicted tossed with Tempest and not comforted however others look upon it Examples in this as in other cases make the deepest impression the understanding here being ever annoyed by the loud and hasty clamours of a misgiving conscience may not be able to make so long a stand as to hear all that the tongue of the Learned have to say for the relief of their weary Souls the judgement must needs be weak when passions are strong Now for such a one to hear that others hunted by the terrors of the Almighty set in array against them to the very brink of desperation and hope even just ready to quit the field have yet through the mercy of the Most High put Sathan to flight won the day recovered their peace and lived in the sweet possession of the Spirit of a sound mind and all this after many a doubtful combate and in a time they looked not for it I say to hear of this exemplefyed in the case of others will at least do thus much service for tottering spirits as to perswade not to make too much hast to run away to hide themselves and that yet there is hope in Israel concerning this thing If in every circumstance of the following Narrative thou find not thy self concerned yet thou wilt in many if thou be one that hast had any experience of the Spirit of Bondage yea and in the main of all thou art troubled in Spirit thy everlasting welfare fare stands bleeding thy hope is giving up the Ghost blasphemous injections the very spirit and humour of hopeless damned Souls haunt and affrighten thy wracked mind thy flesh trembleth for fear of Gods wrathful Judgements all his waves and his billowes pass over thee thou art weary of thy life and yet tormented at the thoughts of death this was the case of the Authour of these following lines 't is hard to conceive a more dangerous condition or that the God of his Salvation should suffer his Faithfulness to thee to fail Wait on the Lord be of good courage Let Satans suggâ—stions be what they will hold this for a certain truth established in the very heavens and irreversible by the gates of Hell Blessed are all they that wait for him Isaiah 30.18 That any should look upon discourses of this kind as matter of scorn and reproachful contempt is matter of sorrow and lamentation that the common enemy to the Race of Adam should find so much Friendship and Folly in the hearts of men yet such there are men that side with their greatest Foe accounting all experiences of this sort as meer Fictions and the issue of a melancholly brain But poor Souls the hour of trembling will come to you at last when you have slept out your sleep upon the lap of lust the Philistines will be upon you and your pleasant dreams of security shall bring you to the King of Terrors let the ensuing narrative be your preservative happy they can discern the vileness of sin and devices of Satan in the clear glass of another Mans Soul confounding terrours one main end of this is thy warning if unhappily thou shalt despise it and thy Faithful Monitor seem to thee as one that mocketh it is no new thing thus it was in the days of Lot Gen. 19.14 even those whose Office should oblige them to better things have been sometimes ignorant in the case of Gods withdrawings Cant. 5.2 smiting and wounding and taking away the Vail have been their work when sympathizing hath been their duty However to be of the Family of Abraham to inherite the blessing is more then sufficient Armour against the persecuting scoffs of Ishmael As for such as truly fear God 't is hoped they will not be offended to see that done by any which is incumbent upon all to declare the works of God with rejoycing and to tell what great things he hath done for our Souls Mark 5.14 is a Law shall stand in Force when the Heavens and Earth shall reel into a change nor will they stumble at the plainness of delivery all have not alike abilities to express themselves Exod. 18.5 gaudy paints of eloquence may sometimes be taken for Ornaments but they are best put off when we have so nearly to do with God Goats Hair and Badgers Skins Exod. 25.45 where there are no better are a good offering for the Sanctuary And to speak truly 't is not in well set words and sentences but in clear experiences true learning doth consist To say any thing
that heavy hand of temptation which lyeth upon them to draw the natural principle of self-love to a composition and rather then remain a close prisoner in such bondage to change it for a Vassallage to one of these common principles of Hell 1. That there is no such thing as Heaven nor Hell 't is a meer fixion and therefore but a meer folly to trouble our selves about them Or else 2. T is better for a Man to take his share in the pleasures of the flesh allowing God and our selves so much service and care as our Forefathers and others have done And not concern himself so deeply in the affairs of eternity If I am elected I cannot be damned if reprobated not saved To these or some such prisons the Devil shifts souls wearied with terrors And it matters not him much in which they are may he but be the keeper 4. Or lastly if all these fail yet Satan hath a further design If he find that the Garrison cannot be won by storm that still there is a resistance made against all his attempts He cannot drive the soul to utter despair of mercy or to yeild its members servants to divers lusts and pleasures Yet nevertheless he hopes that the breaches the wide gashes that he now makes may be a way for entrance in times to come That a long life shall not be able to make them up again he knows that upon every falling into sin he shall have a fâ—ll blow at the soul thus troubled and that the greatness of the doubts now raised may prove a mighty impediment to the hearts closing with Christ by faith This last have I found most true in my own case This first delusion ministred much strength to every following temptation 3. Satan the great enemy intended nothing but my final overthrow not the least good but the greatest evil and yet shall I here make bold to tell the world how much I stand bound to fear the Lord for his goodness in delivering me and disposing my fears for good For. 1. As soon as it pleased God that my body recovered out of its distemper I lay under much trouble by reason of the great fears before menâ—â—oâ—ed and this made me seek out for some advice now for my wracked mind And acquainting that blessed Man of God Dr. 〈◊〉 with my trouble he gave me to understand that iâ— was a meer delusion of Satan 2. I found iâ— my self serious thoughts of my eternal state of Heaven and Hell attended with endeavours to seek the one and avoid the other 3. And I sound not only the Lord comming iâ— by his bâ—essed spirit with conviction of sin but also reâ—sing in my soul an high estimation of his love and favour 4. I found my self stirred up to pray God enabling me by his blessed spirit therein so that now it might be said as once of Paul behold he prayeth I could then have spoken to God as one speaketh to his friend 5. Open profession of the truth of the Gospel followed hereon Gladly bearing the reproachful name of Puritan which was the name in fashion in those dayes to revile professors withall 6. Prayer in my Family was set up also by me when young and unmarried 7. Former sins did not only dislike me but also former pleasures and pastimes As Bowling and Cocking c. And. 8. Association with the godly was my delight the Men that feared God were the Men of my choice but especially with much content did I embrace acquaintance with and was much helped by one Mr. The. Hibben of Rowton above others a Gentleman eminently worthy for profession of the Gospel 9. Frequent was my attendance upon the word preached Often went I to Brompton Brrian to hear that holy Man of God Mr. Peirson So that by this time methoughts I could discern a work of God wrought in me whereby I found the new Man as well as the old 10. Going to Brompton I not only founâ— much help for my Soul by the Ministry of the word but it pleased God also to bring me into acquaintance with a noble Family eminent in those dayes for Religion Sr. Robert Harleigh Out of which he gave me a meet helper both for body and Soul Here was the first conflict wherein Satans malice was over matched by the super-abundant grace of God CHAP. II. Victory in and over temptation matter of admiration Satan disappointed in particular temptations Doth not cease them but suspend them Security the unbeseeming consequent of spiritual deliverance The Mother of more and greater miseries Satans Art may vary but his Aime that same the writers experience herein WHo can but admire the Wisdom Might and Mercy of God clearly manifesting it self in holding up poor weak and worthless Man under any one of all those heavy conflicts he hath with the powers of darkness Oh what policy what power what poison is every stratagem of the Devil managed with all how doth that evil one set his All at work that poor Man might be caught kept and confounded by him at once And that temptation might not rise up a second time But such is the heart of God towards Man in misery that he stands not by as an idle spectator of our sufferings but teacheth our hands to war and our singers to fight He makes us to understand what we could hardly believe 2 Pet. 2.9 That he knows how to deliver out off temptation That there is no desperate case with him That our unbelief cannot render the faith of God of none effect 2 Tim. 2.13 That though we believe not yet he abideth faithful and cannot deny himself such may be the anguish of spirit and cruel Bondage under disertion that as the Children of Israel could not hearken to the words of promise spoken to them by Moses Exod. 6.9 Though no condition more needing it so faith of Adoption may be much decayed the Breasts of promise may not let down their wonted consolations The Soul seemeth to be in a languishing condition by reason of its dissability to imbrace the promises 'T is brought to its wits end come to the utmost of faith and patience And yet for all this our God abideth faithful he cannot deny himself he is the only wise God And a Saviour of such as are gone to the utmost end of faith ready to drop away into total unbelief He that can but place Affiance in God the Saviour though God hath not planted Assurance of Salvation in him may yet abide confident of deliverance Dwell in stay thy self upon God by this faith and thou shalt find the want of Assurance may damnifie but cannot damne thee Mark well that passage of the Psalmist Ps 91.1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall ledge under the shadow of the Almighty Give him the honour of his being The most high And Almightiness shall be thy defence Trust in his mercy and thou shalt not need to tremble at his power But remember
my duty and safety to become partner with the people of God in all the divine ordinances and providences that should be imposed upon them the sence of which duty made me tye my endeavours with theirs to draw the Ark of the God of Israel to its own place 1 Sam. 6.12 And although like the Kine went on lowing all the way yet to the best of my understanding I kept the strait wayes of the Lord and did not wickedly depart from my God After the intestive broils of those times were somewhat abated and leisure with liberty lay common for any man to be as good as he would Though I thankfully embraced the freedom of the Gospel as a singular favour from Heaven yet I must confess as matter of much sorrow that neither the many afflictions nor mercyes under which I was exercised were so well improved as they should But contrarily I forgot to return to God according to his benefits Not long after this I found my sins growing to so great a bulk that I could not look up My former sin began to grow fresh in my remembrance and the Lord to withdraw the light of his countenance which I had now for a good season and in a good measure enjoyed my communion with him began much to abate and his rod of affliction such as I had not known before began to smart upon my back In my former trials then which I thought once none could be greater I was not brought so near the brink of utter ruins as I was in this and what followed First the Lord began to lay on a load of sore and gauling afflictions upon my loines mainly By bringing a day of silence upon his Ministers from whose lips I had often received sufficient drops of that water of life to quench the thirst of my heart panting after God And blocking up the solemn assemblies of his Saints permitting things so contrary to my judgement to be introduced and added to his worship These together with some other heavy afflictions at home from some of mine own relations did so concur with my former tryals that I now concluded more then at any time before God had withdrawn himself from me Hereupon he was pleased to suffer that cruel enemy Satan that old Serpent to break in upon my soul with such dread and terror that he made my body to quake upon my bed so that I was fain to have one to lye upon me to keep me from shaking thinking then he had an opportunity to accomplâ—sh his hellish tragedy my self being so abused by his former delusions and still entertaining thoughts that God had forsaken me that cursed enemy to the most glorious and ever blessed God would have tempted me as once Jobes Wife dâ—d her husband to curse God and this he pressed with much violence but through the mercy of God was not able to accomplish his wicked design though he seemed to me to affirm with as strong affirmations and as bloudy oaths as ever were heard from any swearing wretch that I was damned territâ—ing me in the night with fearful dreams and visions of a spiritual nature which were most dreadful to my apprehensionâ— and not being be through the goodness of God to make my tongue his cursed instrument departed for a season as though he would have rented the Heavens and the Earth But reviving again his temptations she whom God had given me for a meet helper fighting against him by earnest prayer to Almighty God and likewise many Christian friends that came to see me he now began to desist and fail in that way and therefore began to try another viz. In relation to the former delution as though I should do some murtherous act And now shewing himself to be according as our God hath said of him a murtherer from the beginning he with strong temptations endeavoured to make me imbrue my hands in the bloud of my dearest friend who had been so helpful to me against his former temptations which was most grievous to my poor soul and fearing least his violent temptation might have overcome me I being so much in his hands desired her that she would withdraw her self telling her the temptation But she something amazed thereat undauntedly lifted up her soul to the Lord by holy ejaculations and resolved she would not give that enemy one inch of ground But casting us both upon the protection of the Almighty with a lively faith in the Lord Jesus vanquished the enemy at that time Yet this temptation continnued about two months in all which time my poor soul being most dreadfully afflicted I did again earnestly desire my Wife to get some company in the house by night but having little help or comfort from others she the more uncessantly acted faith and prayer until our gratious God had given us deliverance CHAP. IV. His strugling under and against temptations The means most used and blessed for his support Cast again the fourth and last time into the furnace of fiery hot instigations to blaspheme the means used and owned for coming thence An happy issue ANd having now passed some five or six years since the last grievous visitation all this time labouring for the pardon of sin in the use of means appointed of God to get out of that sad condition wherein I was still haunted with blasphemous and horrible injections and cursed instigations to curse and swear which that wicked enemy could not after his utmost endeavours bring any further then my tongues end Now I say labouring under these temptations and making my condition known to my Godly acquaintance they affirming that these were not my own but Satans suggestions some comfort I had from them labouring in the word of the Lord and prayer This was one good stay Making use also of those blessed streams flowing from the word of God I mean the works of those blessed servants of Christ who have laboured much in writing upon such subjects As namely Dr. Preston upon the attributes which I read above twelve times over Dr. Thomas Goodwins Child of light walking in darkness Mr. Bridges's lifting up of cast down Mr. Simonds his deserted soul And that pretious piece of that worthy Mr. Burroughs Saints walking by faith without sight and sence And Mr. Baxâ—ers thirty two directions traversing these books over through the Lords blessing Were a great comfort and support in bearing up my soul against the enemies cruel attempts and wearisome afflictions under which I strugled having no assurance of the pardon of my sins and lying still under the guilt of that great transgression so long past committed and under many more since Moreover though I could not pray with a free spirit yet under all this heavy load I still followed the Lord by earnest prayer that he would come and take away both guilt and filth of sin and destroy that cursed nature from which Satan took his advantage against me and help me though he tarry yet still to wait for
this Amalek of inbred corruption against which we have been fighting with the sword of the Spirit many a weary day Numb 24.20 I say then this Amalek the first of the nations that warred against Israel our souls his end shall be that he be destroyed for ever 3. Such a sence of sin remaining in us as hinders our rejoycing in expectation of the future glory or joyful thanksgiving for our present deliverances is not our duty but our sin God will not be robbed of his glory under a pretence of mourning for his dishonour as soon as God the Father hath delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the Kingdom of his dear Son Col. 1.12 13. 'T is then our duty to give thanks to him who hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance among the Saints in light He that readeth the book of the Acts and considereth how the holy Ghost takes notice of the affection of joy in the converts of those times Act. 2.46 Act. 8.8.39 Act. 9.31 Act. 16.34 may readily conclude that it is as natural for babes in Christ as soon as they are born to rejoyce as it is for others to cry The life of a real Christian should be a continual holy-day And therefore let us keep the feast according to that of our Apostle 1 Cor. 5.8 And follow the advice of that holy man Mr. Downam to that purpose in his Christian warfare who himself was not only troubled with this old man but also with blasphemous suggestions as he himself told me many years past when I went to seek comfort in my condition Let us submit lye down acquiese and be satisfied in the wisdom and goodness of God whose providence is every where and over ruleth all things in Heaven and earth for his own glory and his peoples good And rejoycing in our hopes of glory and interest in all the blessed promises of the word of God so go on in our Christian warfare with good courage not feating men or Devils as to perform out duties towards God and reach out after the end of our faith the salvation of our souls Christ in his word hath given us good assurance of our obtaining this In fidelity is the Devils greatest engine to destroy our rejoycing of hope Would the Lord but go on with his Conquest over unbelief and raise our faith into a more sollid substance of things hoped for Heb. 11.1 And a clearer evidence of things not seen Would he but teach us how to live by faith how rich a living would it afford us how sweetly might we in the contemplation of the truth and worth of that promised glory triumph over all adversities That state wherein poor man shall behold the face of the blessed God in such a fullness that the glorious Angels Heb. 2.16 are not capable of the like man who hath a nearer relation to Jesus Christ hath also a nearer standing to the very throne then the blessed Angels themselves Rev. 4.4 c. is so transporting so ravishing in the foresight thereof that we may well take up that triumphant song Oh Death where is thy stâ—ng oh Grave where is thy victory 1 Cor. 15.55 Behold what manner of love the Father hath loved us withall that we should be called the Sons of God Now are we the Sons of God And it doth not yet appear what we shall be but we know that when he shall appear we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is Oh! the length the heighth the breadth and depth the fulness of that love of Christ that passeth knowledge Now I come to the third sort of Professors â—nd they are such as have never been greatly â—roubled who though they have been scared â—nd lightly touched by the Arrows of the Almighty yet cannot say they have stuck fast â—ithin them and that the Poison thereof â—ath at any time drunk up their spirits To â—hese my request is that they would suffer a â—ord of warning from one who hath more â—â—eply drunk of the Cup of trembling That â—â—up which his Lord and master drank to the â—ottom that so in a little he might be conâ—â—rmable to his head and having obtained â—ercy might be found faithful The main of all I have to say to such is â—â—at my hearty prayer to God for them is â—â—at they all may be strengthened with all might according to his glorious power unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness Col. 1.11 That they may walk worthy of the Lord in all well pleasing Remembring 1. The gentler dealings of the Lord with them then with others calls for hearty acknowledgement of thanksgiving Judg. 8.16 He might have taught you with the bryars and thorns of the Wilderness whereas he hath led you with the gentle cords of a man Hos 11.4 Spared you as a man spareth his Son that serveth him Mal. 3 17. He hath made you free without serving a long and hard Apprenticeship under the yoke of bondage He hath gone an easier way with yoâ— then the way of the Philistins Exod. 13.17 you have not seen warr as others have done Let the miseries of me and others provokâ— you to thankfulness and fruitfulness in everâ— good work 2. Remember your condition is not yet 〈◊〉 safe your danger is not so farr over but thâ—â— you have need of caution your great caâ—â— should be that your latter end might be peaâ—â— Prize the peace of your Conscience aâ—â— while you are in with God oh keep in wiâ—â— him still if you let sin in you drive God 〈◊〉 of your souls And when he is gone all yoâ—â— peace is gone all your comfort of hope is gone too A privation of the light of his countenance will beget a dismal night of horror sin will tumble you down from your Heaven of Communion with God and then the valley of the shadow of death will be your walk and Hellish fiends shall frighten you there with continual alarums of your falling lower into the depths of Hell And how long it may be thus with you who can tell oh how will you be able to bear such changes as these are learn of me and others in like case and be wise think not that your present favour of men or gain of Silver and Gold or flattering pleasures of vanity will make you satisfaction for the harms done by sin Or that the remembrance of these will ransome you from or purchase you the least gentler usuage under the hand of terror Your profession is no priviledged condition Sin can find out the sinner even when he hath taken Sanctuary in Sion Is 33.14 Nothing but righteousness can deliver from death Prov. 10 2. Be found any where or doing any thing else and be sure your sin will find you out Num. 32.23 Those things that appear to thee to be plainly sinful or of the lawfulness whereof thou makest a doubt peremtorily refuse the one and patiently forbear till thou art well
satisfied in the other or eâ—se thou playest the Bedlam in hazarding the light of Gods countenance Hazarding nay if thou belong to God sure sure suffering one time or other and in some degree or other under the sad forsakings of the peace of thy own Conscience and the grieved blessed spirit thy Comforter Near relation to God will not carry thee an inch the further from his sore chastisements Judgement begins fiâ—st at the house of God 1 Pet. 4.17 You only have I known of all the Families of the Earth therefore will I punish you for all your iniquities Amâ— 3 2. Christians advanced to greater heights of gifts and grace then others Mat. 11.23 had need look better to their standing then others for if they fall it will be lower then others Such falls though it may not break the neck 't wil be sure to break the bones Psal 51.8 He said well but not all That 't is better for a man to loose a whole estate then to tell one lye But I say were the whole world a mans own estate t were better bid an everlasting adieu to it all let Wife and Children fare as they will then provoke one single God to be gone in his displeasure If he goes I partly can tell you what that is 't is that which I am not able to tell you for the greatness of its misery This is thy Benjamin If thou art bereaved of this then thou art bereaved indeed Gen. 43.14 3. Be ready to speak and spend to say and do all that you can for God Your goodness cannot extend to God but there are Saints in the Earth Ps 16.2 let these be to thee the excellent ones in these take thou thy whole delight By liberal things you may be made to stand Isa 32.8 God will not cast them out of his favour who have room in heart and house to entertain his Ministers cast out of all for Conscience sake Even Moab might look for a stability of his throne upon these terms Isa 16.4 5. Unmercifulness to the Ambassadours of Christ will turn his love into displeasure Luk. 10 16. He that troubles Kingdoms for unkindnesses shewed to these Ps 105.15 will not surely be behind with thee for thy love to them To see godly rich men miserable in the daâ— of their bretherens calamity is such a fight that the times of the Apostles had not the like Acts 4.32 Nor can disability to spare for such uses be well aledged while needless feasting unnecessary attendance costly apparel rich presents to great men purchasing of Lands are found among them Le ts take a measure of the greatness of this sin by the proceedings of the day of judgement Where sins of omission make up the whole inditement Mat. 25.41 c. Christ in his Ministers Christ in his members may be poor and sick and in Prisons and in want of Cloathing Slight him now and it shall not be forgotten You may hear of it when you would not consider well hath the long enjoying of the Gospel taken away the sweetness of it should it not be as sweet to you now as ever it was are not we as much concerned in it as they were in primitive days expect we not now as great rewards as they did then and have we not as good security for the rich returns of such disbursments as ever they had a Disciple of Christ a Prophet of God though but so nominally melted into wants and misery by the scorching beams of persecution is excellent water to cast your bread upon Eccles 11.1 When harvest comes you shall see what mighty Sheaves what full measures heaped and pressed down your small expence of bread-corn will amount unto He that cannot give a little how will he be able to sell all Mark 10.21 Let him that would have a Heaven of peace within here and peace above for ever think of these things 4. Pray oh pray and add to prayer watchfulness that he enter not into temptation Mat. 26.41 Fervent Prayer can do much with God and watching conduceth much to the fervor of our prayers Watchfulness will prevent the terror and danger of sudden surprizes It gives a seasonable alarme to the sleepy soul to stand to its arms He that knows what it is to pray in the Spirit Eph. 6.18 and how to watch thereunto with all perseverance hath such a jewel of grace that will preserve all other graces safe This is the Life-guard while our King walketh in his Galleryes Cant. 7.5 'T is that which though it cannot absolutely free the soul from the plots of the World Flesh and Devil will enable it to withstand them all Eph. 6.13 and stand fast after all This is truly the Wine of Angels and Poison of Devils In brief then Remember that you never suffer Satan to prevail with you for the laying aside of this blessed duty he will set hard upon you for that end Unworthyness of Person want of comfort weakness of faith unsuccessfulness after all one thing or other will the Devil plead to make thy tempted soul restrain prayer before God If he can but bring thee to let fall thy hands he knows what will be the issue of the battle Amalek did not more surely prevaile against the Armies of Israel then he will against thee Exod. 16.11 Oh! then pray and pray again lead us not into temptation My woful experience bids me tell you that 't is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God It may be by these means you may be kept from entring into the terror of temptation Having now ended all that I have to say to those who in sincerity making profession of the ways of God are called by his name My tender love to the glory of God the God of my salvation and my compassion of the souls of poor impenitent sinners puts me upon an adventure to write a few more words Who knoweth but some one or other of these may read what I have here written and in so doing see the case they stand in to be an evil case And what cause they have hearing what the sence of sin hath wrought in others with all their might and main to turn back from their eager persuit of perishing pleasures and â—â—y to Jesus Christs Person promises and paths to save themselves from the wrath that is to come Poor sinners be not offended at the name I could be willing to purchase a better title for you even the worst of you all with the expence of prayers and tears I reproach you not while I thus bespeak you nor factiously and proudly would I insinuate as if I or any upon nature's account deserved a better name or as if different sentiments about lower matters in Religion were a sufficienâ— cause to give out such wide distinguishing titles alas 't is no such matter I mean no other then such whose sence and feeling of the heavy weight of sin hath been so little that to this day