not onely in the aliens reprobates but euen in the domesticks of the houshold of faith in thy most inlightned and best disposed children euen in the Elect themselues and those that are sealed vp for the Day of Redemption Wherefore I must say freely as I may truly I am thy workemanship not onely of thy power as all other creatures are but of thy mercy also created in Christ vnto good workes whereof he is the sole Author and Actor working effecaciously in mee both the will and the deed according to his good pleasure O Lord giue me a liuely Faith thy Gift alone which hath power to quicken my dull to enlyue my dead to purifie my impure heart Giue me grace stedfastly to beleeue thy Word to take sure hold of thy promises euermore to cleaue and sticke fast to thy goodnesse Kindle this fire in my soule which will inflame my loue of all good duties on the one and on the other side waste and consume eate vp and de uoure my concupiscence and all my carnall desires and cause them to returne into that dead sea whence they were first exhaled Renew a right Spirit within me Hee whose spirit is deserted by Gods Spirit loseth the vigor and viuacity of his spirit his spirit waxeth old crooked in him Sinne where it inuades makes such spoile and hauocke of all goodnesse and vertue in the soule as it cannot subsist vnlesse it be timely repaired and truly renewed by repentance When a man lyes groueling vpon earthly and houering vpon fleshly desires his spirit which should directly 〈◊〉 vpward is bowed downe and made crooked A 〈◊〉 spirit then is a sincere and vpright heart raysed and lifted vp into heauen and heauenly things What is sinne else but an obliquity a depriuation or deprauation of that rectitude and vprightnesse which was originally and should be continually in the soule if it were throughly purged and purified I haue impayred this rectitude and vprightnesse which once I had in some measure by my heynous and enormous transgressions and therefore resort to thee for helpe who onely art able to renewe and repaire it againe Giue me O Lord a spirit rectified in it selfe directed by thy Spirit corrected by thy discipline and erected to thy glory a spirit firme without failing constant without varying and durable without decaying that I may happily choose new waies walke in them carefully and perseuere in them constantly giue me grace to turne ouer a new leafe as they say to abandon the old man with the lusts and affections thereof and to put on the new man and so to serue thee in holinesse and newnesse of liuing all the dayes of my life hereafter I doe wittingly and thankefully ascribe the purity of my heart to thy Creation the vprightnesse of my spirit to thy renouation alone as to giue thee thy due honour so to preuent and anticipate the proud and fond conceit of those men if any such there be or shall be hereafter who to grace thēselues wil abate the power diminish the lustre of thy grace who though they cannot but confesse that they neede the assistance of thy Spirit that they are holpen by thy both preuenting and following grace yet betweene those two graces for their own credit will needes vainely interpose or rather violētly intrude mans reason whereby he chuseth what is good and mans will whereby he assenteth to thy diuine power in the blessed worke of regeneration But hereby I take secret comfort in my selfe to preserue my perplexed soule from vtter despaire that I discerne the foulenesse of my heart feele the weaknes of my spirit and therefore pray earnestly for a purification of the one and a renouation of the other for I know I cannot craue either of those graces without some measure of grace As the sunne cannot be seene but by the Sunne nor the light be perceiued but by meanes of the light so neither can I begge a full cleansing of my heart without some cleanenesse in it nor a through-renouation without some newnesse in my decayed spirit at least in true affection and vnfaigned desire Cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy holy Spirit from me I feare and cannot but feare thy face and yet I feare withall to be cast from thy face 〈◊〉 presence Mine owne 〈◊〉 makes me on the one side to feare the face of a seuere Iudge and my worthlesse weaknesse on the other being not able to subsist at all without the light of thy countenance makes mee desire thy presence and sight What-euer thou doe with me while thou lookest vpon me I shall indure though not without feare and perplexity But if thou cast me quite away from thy presence I am vtterly vndone for euer The presence of the Physicion is a present if not helpe yet comfort to the sicke patient But thy presence Lord being the soueraigne Physicion ministers all comforts and cures all maladies both of soule and body Therefore I loue the habitations of thy house and the place where 〈◊〉 honour dwelleth As the hunted and chased Hart desireth the water brookes So longeth my soule after thee When shall I come and appeare before thee O how amiable are thy Tabernacles My soule euen longeth and fainteth for the courts of the Lord. One day in thy Courts where thou art present and resident is better then a thousand elsewhere I had rather bee a dorekeeper there then to dwell at liberty and in iollity in the tents of the vngodly The priuation of Gods presence is the position of all misery and the withdrawing of his countenance drawes with it all manner of discomforts Heauen it selfe were not heauen if thou wert not there present and Hell could not be hell if thou wert not absent thence To bee cast out of thy presence is to be cast out of ioy into sorrow out of light into darkenesse out of life into death not the first onely but the second also out of heauē into hel The very sight and vision of thee is of it selfe and in it selfe the height of happinesse In thy presence is the fulnesse of ioy and at thy right hand is plenty without satiety of pleasure and delight for euermore Wherefore though I haue multiplyed and increased my contumacie beyond all measure yet I beseech thee O Lord not to excommunicate me I submit my selfe with teares in mine eyes and anguish in my heart humbly and wholly to thy discipline I am content to endure any penance rather then to bee banished from thy presence What the want of this presence is none can know but he that feeleth and he that feeleth cannot make another know by any relation Hee may indeuour to shaddow it out slenderly but hee is not able fully to expresse it If the Master turne his seruant out of doores if the Father abandon his sonne from his fight if the King command his subiect from the Court that hee come not within the Vierge how
pleasing because they were offered with a louing and sincere heart vnto thee Thou doest not accept the person for the sacrifice but the sacrifice for the persons sake The truth and sincerity of the heart is all in all with thee Lastly that it is not so much any vprightnesse in me in regard of the worth and dignity much lesse of the perfection and purity of it that ministers this comfort vnto mee but as it is a fruit of thy fauour and a token of thy loue not it selfe so much as that whereof it giueth me assurance and that in two respects First as it is a signe and seale of my Adoption assuring me that I am thine adopted child For my regeneration whereby this sincerity is wrought in me doeth ratifie and seale vp my Adoption the old man harboureth no such ghest None are thy Adopted but such as are thy regenerated children and on the other part all that are thine by Regeneration are thine by Adoption also Now as earthly parents loue their children not so much for their wit and comelinesse as because they are theirs so doest thou O God loue thy children because they are thy children If thou doest not loue them before they haue they shall neuer haue any thing to make them bee loued of thee So then this beginning of true grace argueth thy child and a weake child of thine being yet thy child as well as a strong may in that regard expect a childes portion in thy heauenly inheritance Secondly as it is an earnest or Gods-penny of my glorification For this sincerity is the earnest of that Spirit which thou giuest me before-hand for full 〈◊〉 of the faithfull performance of all thy gracious promises afterward Therefore as a penny giuen in earnest bin deth as strongly as a pound the person that giueth it being a sufficient man Euen so the least measure of true grace being thy earnest bindes thee to the faithfull ac complishment of all thy fauours promised to all thy faithful seruants whatsoeuer It is thou only ô Lord that preparest my heart and workest this truth in it and thou wilt neuer frustrate the desire that thou thy selfe hast there wrought As no man canseeke thee but hee that hath found thee so no man can desire grace but hee that hath grace for euermore hee that desireth Grace hath grace to desire it It is thy gracious Proclamation The Lord God will be mercifull yea hee hath beene alreadie and is mercifull to those that set their hearts aright that desire to feare his name Whereupon I take heart and say Then shall I not bee confounded when I haue respect to all thy precepts and when I am vpright with my God The louing kindnesse of the Lord is from euer and for euer vpon those that thinke vpon his commandements to doe them and therefore vnto such also is ioy in plaine termes promised The righteous shall bee glad in the Lord and trust in him and all without exception that are but vpright in heart shall reioyce And therefore hauing by warrant of the blessed Spirit pronounced them blessed not that neuer sinned but that haue sincerely repented their sinnes and in whose soule there is no guile I conclude with an Iniunction awarded vnder the seale of the same Spirit and laid vpon all such to reioyce Be glad ye righteous and reioyce in the Lord be merry not onely in your owne selues and soules but euen with acclamations and iubilations shout for ioy all you that are vpright in heart The summe of all is I doe not finde my heart so free from sin or so full of grace as it would and should bee but I finde it to be true plaine and vpright wherein I appeale to thee O thou searcher of hearts not such as hath no sinne for it hath in a manner nothing but sinne but such as loues no sinne not such as wants no grace but such as is hum bled for want of grace hauing the grace to feele that want 6. In the secret of my heart thou shalt teach me wisdome or Thou shalt teach the seacrets of wisdome in my heart or hidden part THe conscience of my vnfained sorrow for sin on the one side my true desire to serue thee better hereafter on the other doe raise my dciected soule and make me beleeue and hope that thou in thy gracious goodnesse wilt teach me more wisedome euen the mystery of godlinesse and art of Religion which is the soule of the soule in the secret of my heart I say thou shalt because I begge earnestly and hope confidently that thou wilt teach mee such Wisedome The teaching of the inward man by the true instruction of heauenly wisdome the end wherof is eternall saluation belongeth to thee alone It is thy proper and peculiar worke whereupon thine elect ones are termed The taught of God for flesh and blood reueales not these things vnto me Hee hath his chaire in heauen that teacheth the heart and to thy schollers it is only giuen to know the secrets of thy Kingdome Therefore I trust thou wilt teach me thy wayes and thy statutes thou wilt open mine eyes that I may sce the wonders of thy Law thou wilt giue me true vnderstanding and send me thy good Spirit as a perfect Pylot to leade and guide me into all truth goodnesse This is the wisedome of the heart and brest not of the head and braine whereby I shall become not more learned or politicke but more godly 〈◊〉 vertuous not more able to discourse and dispute but to doe and liue well 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 become righteous that is by a little variati on of the word right wise For whē all is said done That is right wisedome which makes me wise vnto Saluation That is not seeming and shining but sound and solid wisedome that is reall and operatiue not speculatiue and formall wisedome The true information and thereby Reformation of the soule is the soule of wisedome It is neuer taught enough which is neuer sufficiently learned and this wisedome is of that nature that the soule is neuer satiated therewith but is still hungry and couetous of more I haue heard and read many lessons by way of instruction in this wisedome but either through my dulnesse I could not apprehend them or through my obliuion I could not remember thē or through my infirmity I could not practise them Howbcit by the supereminent authority of thee the Teacher the excellencie of the matter taught and the increase of my diligence all happily concurring together I hope at length to attaine the depth of wisedome in the deepe and secret corners of my heart 7 Purge me with Hysope and I shall be cleane THe tongue wil be licking where the tooth is aking the finger will be touching where the paine is fretting The Leprosie of my sinne is so irkesome and lothsome vnto mee as
extremity of cold in the cleere water that distilleth from the cloudes Thy celestiall ayre and light which surpasseth all bodily and naturall whitenesse being gathered into my soule when it is melting into the teares of repentance makes it cleere and bright euen to admiration Christ by washing my soule hath taken my spots out of mee vpon himselfe hee himselfe remaines all 〈◊〉 and stained with my sinnes insomuch that the Spouse is amazed at it and wondring demands Wherfore doest thou weare garments all spotted and dyed with blood like vnto them that stampe grapes in the wine-presse Thy seruant Moses out of his kinde and vndeserued loue tooke an Aethiopian woman to his wife No wife is deformed in her owne husbands eyes if he be such a husband as he ought to be The mysticall Moses who in loue hath married himselfe vnto his Spouse the Church not onely blacke and deformed but vgly and filthy in her selfe hath by his gracious election of her though neither by her beauty nor manners recommended vnto him made her because he so esteemeth her faire comely and graceful he hath changed her color and complection yea and her nature and condition too so as she sticks not to say I was black by nature but I am faire by grace Can that which is blacke as Pitch or Ebeny become perfectly white and whiter then snow yes verily for my state by adoption and regeneration in Christ is of more perfection then Adam his happiest condition in Paradise This might and did faile that can neuer alter or decay but abides firme and sure to all eternity Blacke by the art of man can take no other hue nor can this whitenes by the fraud or force of the prince of darkenesse be euer either darkned or defaced Snow is white without and within on euery side Thy Grace will make mee not like a painted sepulcher faire without and foule within not hypocritically specious but really sound and sincere and the beauty of the soule thus washed will infinitely exceede the whitenesse of any body yea euen of snow it selfe Make mee to heare of 〈◊〉 and gladnesse c. O Lord I beg of thee the whole tree of life growing by the riuer side in the Garden of Eden whose roote is iustification by remission of my sinnes and whose fruite is true ioy and consolation in thy gracious fauour There may bee a roote without a stocke as when a Tree is hewne downe a stocke without 〈◊〉 as in the winter season but nor fruite nor stocke where no roote is The forgiuenesse of my sinne is the root of all my ioy O Lord giue me the fruite of that roote and that will assure me of the roote of that fruite Vnlesse thou make me I cannot heare Vnlesse thou open mine eare the voice of gladnesse will not enter or if it goe in at the one it will go out at the other eare I shall be neuer the better for hearing Thou must not only tel me the tale but finde me eares also thou must not onely present the obiect but enable my faculty also to perceiue or receiue it The Adder or Cockatrice is as some say naturally as some others cunningly deafe laying the one eare close to that ground stopping the other with his tayle purposely to preuent the skill of the Charmer who seekes to enchant him in such sort as he shall not be able either to bite or sting So man in his pure or rather impure naturals is either sencelesly deafe and cannot or voluntarily deafe and will not heare any voice that tends to the spirituall solace of his soule no not the sound of sound ioy not the melodious noise of true gladnesse vnlesse thou that sendest the tidings of Grace doe giue him the grace also to entertaine those tidings Now what is the end and indeuor either of this corruption by nature or peruersenesse by will but that none of thy words or spels O God none of thy holy Spirit his motions or inclinations may haue power wickednesse being so powerfull to charme or inchant me but that I may still bite and sting still hurt and annoy both my selfe and others I desire ioy and gladnesse doubled that is both of soule and body and I cannot rest contented with one or two or a few comforts I seeke to haue them multiplied that as my tribulations were increased so in like proportion my consolations may be inlarged and I terme this ioy and gladnesse indefinitely because this is the onely solid ioy and true gladnesse All other ioyes are but toyes like false fires and counterfet 〈◊〉 such as deserue not the name of ioyes at all I beseech thee O Lord not onely to blot out my transgressions and to take away the guilt of my sins but for the raising of my deiected the relieuing of my distressed soule to let me know so much also let me heare this ioyfull Word in the eare of my heart from thine owne mouth by thine holy breath and Spirit Thy sins are forgiuen thee Not onely bee vnto me a Sauiour but say vnto my soule I am thy saluation For I may stand pardoned and iustified in thy gracious 〈◊〉 and certaine resolution and yet not know so much and not knowing it how can I be but grieuously perplexed fearefully distracted in my conscious distrustfull cogitations Wherefore O Lord let thy Spirit certifie my spirit that All is peace Let my soule sensibly feele though it cannot fully conceiue this peace which passeth all vnderstanding To a Prisoner conuicted and condemned for high treason to cruell death and euery houre expecting execution according to course of Iustice what greater ioy can there bee then to heare of a gracious and free pardon of all his offences from his Soueraigne This is the true character of my selfe and euery other sinner in respect of our spirituall condition Wee were damned before wee were borne in sinne since our birth wee haue liued in sinne we haue multiplied sinne vpon sinne wee haue drunke vp iniquity as a fish drinketh vp water wee haue committed sundry hainous and horrible treasons against thy diuine 〈◊〉 to say nothing of other capitall crimes wee haue after all this wilfully drawne downe thine indignation and called for thine eternall vengeance vpon vs In this deplorable and euen desperate case what more welcome tydings then to heare of this Iubile Sinne doth not onely bring me into a dull slumber but euen into a dead sleepe also In sleepe all my sences are bound vp as it were in chaines when I am fast asleepe I heare nothing at all Wherefore awake me O Lord and make me to heare Make mee to heare thy Word the conduit of comfort openly taught with such diligence and deuotion as is meete make mee to heare the secret whisperings of thy blessed Spirit with such reuerence and obedience as is requisite make me so to heare as I may beleeue faith commeth by hearing with thy blessing
Loue it selfe in the abstract The extent of thy goodnesse loue and mercy is such as hath no bounds the depth is such as hath no bottome The influence of it will make me feele that which no eloquence can vtter no intelligence can containe No man can tell how sweete hony is but hee that tasteth it I see O Lord great fruite of thy rich roote of Mercy For were not thy mercy exceeding great few or none could liue here the life of grace or there the life of glory Looke how many Saints there be in heauen or on earth by inchoation here in perfection there So many worthy examples so many infallible demonstrations there are of thine vnspeakeable mercy without which they should 〈◊〉 haue perished and sunke downe to Hell If therefore thy Iustice lift vp it selfe as the high Mountaines to eclipse the light of thy gracious countenance from mee I will raise my selfe yet higher in confidence of thy Truth which reacheth to the clouds and thy Mercy which mounts euen to the heauen of heauens I will frame this comfortable consequence to my distressed soule if thy mercy bee magnified aboue thy Iustice it must needs bee farre aboue my transgressions O Lord I haue caused my sinne to abound farre beyond the bankes and bounds of thy Law but it is thy property to pardon and the property of thy Mercy where sinne abounds there to superabound Thy mercy doth euen crosse and controule thy Iustice and as the highest Orbe doth by violence carry with it the inferior Spheres against their proper inclinations and motions So the force of thy powerfull mercy doth ouerrule my naturall and wilfull courses running to wickednesse and in that race hasting to iust condemnation My sinnes therefore how great soeuer cannot stop the flowing of thy vast Ocean of Mercy When I fall into computation and comparison of my sinnes on the one side and thy mercies on the other I finde by diuine Arithmetike and the true Iacobs-staffe to my singular comfort that my sinnes how great and how many soeuer yet may bee both measured and reckoned but on the other part that neither the magnitude nor the multitude of thy mercies can be either fathomed or numbred I beg thy great Mercy because thy lesser mercies will not doe the turne which my miserable condition requires For they may ease me of lesser miseries of afflictions in body of distresses in estate of other incumbrances in the world but it is thy larger Mercy that must forgiue not my lesser only but my greater sinnes which haue prouoked thy iust and heauy indignation against me Thy wayes O God are not as mans wayes nor thy mercies as mans mercies Mans mercy is short and scant mingled with hardnesse and maymed with sundry imperfections In ciuill matters some man will forgiue the interest but not the principall some man will forgiue the halfe but not the whole debt some man will forbeare to demand the debt yet will not forgoe the Bond hee will keepe that to curbe his debtor vpon all occasions In matters criminall one will forgiue the fault but not the punishment another will remit a part but not all the penalty a third will forgiue but not forget the iniury But thy Mercy O Lord is great large free and absolute intire and indefinite or rather infinite Thou forgiuest both the fault and punishment royally and really all is acquitted and discharged at once in accomplishment of that comfortable clause in the cloze of thy new Couenant Thou wilt remember our iniquities no more The multitude of my sinnes occasions me to parallel them with the multitude of thy mercies that there may bee a medicine for each malady a salue for euery sore I touch still vpon one and the same string though with some variety because the meditation and modulation of this mercy of thine is as sweet Musicke in mine eare and a ioyfull Iubile in my soule I striue to expresse one and the same thing in diuers words or phrases great mercy and a multitude of mercies being all one in sence and meaning for great mercy comprehends a multitude of mercies and a multitude of mercies amounts to one great masse of mercy The greatest mercy that the greatest person can doe to the most miserable wretch vpon earth is not to bee compared to the least of thy mercies which thou affoordest to the holiest man that liues in regard of the infinite disproportion that is betweene the Offendor and the Offended the Creator of Heauen and earth and dust and ashes Howbeit euen in thine infinite mercy as it hath relation to sinfull man there be degrees whereof we cannot better take the skantling then by our greater or lesser offences committed against thy diuine Maiesty for the Law of gratitude amongst men teacheth mee to acknowledge that thy loue is greater to them to whō thou forgiuest greater thē to such as thou acquitest of smaller debts Therefore as my more heynous sinnes at the Tribunall of thy iustice do call for seuerer punishment so at thy throne of mercy which is aboue thy seate of iustice and to which I appeale as to thy Court of last resort they begge and craue for thy more great and tender compassions Debt is a burthen and a great debt is an heauy burden hee that beares an honest minde cannot be quiet in minde so long as hee continues in debt My sins are my debts and that scoare runnes still in my minde whereon I haue runne so fast and so farre I professe truly that my sins haue gone ouer not my body only but my head also and that they are a burden too heauy for mee to beare I know O Lord thou keeper of men that thou markest what is amisse in me thou scorest vp my sinnes my wilde and wandring thoughts my vaine and wicked words my foule and filthy actions thou keepest a day and a debt-booke of them to charge mee by way of account whensoeuer it pleaseth thee thou settest them downe in capitall and red letters to declare thine anger thou grauest them with the poynt of a Diamond and writest them with a pen of Iron both in thy Registry of Heauen and in the Tablet of mine own conscience on earth placing on the right side thereof the straight rules of thy Law and mine Obliquities on the left each as a foile to set forth the other Debts must either be paid or forgiuen else they cannot be discharged Pay O Lord I cannot I am become bankrupt I am not able no not by way of composition to answer thee one for a thousand Therefore it remaines onely that I beseech thee whose propertie it is to haue mercy and forgiue to crosse this debt-booke to wipe out the score to cancell the hand-writing and deface the record that is against me to put away and blot out my transgressions that there may remaine no memory of them either to prouoke thy heauy vengeance or to affright my
distressed soule Wash mee wash mee againe and againe or wash me throughly from mine iniquity and cleanse mee from my sinne As my sinnes being in nature of debts are registred in thy book and set vpon thy score so like spots and staynes they blemish and deface the Image of thy diuine nature ingrauen in my soule at the Creation of it in such sort as thou canst hardly discerne it to be thy workemanship and therefore I intreate thee to wash me often and throughly that I may appeare cleane and holy in thy pure and piercing eyes There is nothing so pure O Lord as thou art in thy diuine nature nothing so foule as I am by naturall and actuall corruption Wherefore I thinke nothing too much to bring the most defiled thing on earth to the 〈◊〉 Essence in heauen and that makes me to beg againe and againe that thou wilt wash me againe and againe Sinne is filthy to thinke of more filthy to speake and heare of most filthy to act and commit there is nothing in it or any part or passage of it but vilenesse basenesse and filthinesse All the washings in thy Leuiticall Law were types and figures of this Spirituall washing in the blood of the Lambe slaine from the beginning of the world Wash me O Lord with the water of thy grace with that water whereof whoso drinketh shall neuer thirst wash mee with the water of mine owne teares with the water of thy Word with the water of thy Sacraments I know O Lord that vnlesse thou wash mee I can haue no part or portion in the. e Wherefore I beseech thee to wash not my feete onely but my head also and all the parts and members of my body yea to rince and scowre my soule and all the powers and faculties thereof that I may present both soule and body an holy and acceptable sacrifice vnto thee It is thy blessed busines O Christ to 〈◊〉 me in this worlde that thou maist render me spotlesse to thy Father in another world I sinne daily and therefore had neede of daily washing I sinne continually and therfore had 〈◊〉 of continuall washing for the word including a multiplication of washing doth imply a multiplication of sinning For if my soule lothing the filth and mire wherewith shee hath soiled her selfe euen to vglinesse take a course by the teares of contrition for the cleane washing of her face how soone doth the old dirt of sinne spurt into her visage againe So that the businesse of the soule in this life if it be a life of repentance is neuer at an end being indeed nothing else but the washing of that which is foule and the fouling of that which was washed There be as it is reported in the story of nature certain flying fishes whose wings by flying waxe dry and being dry lose their flying so as they must euer and anon returne to the Sea by the moisture thereof to enable their flight againe Euen so my soule washed in the lauer of regeneration and mounting vp towards heauen through this wicked world her wings euen her best purposes cogitations and conceptions easily grow dry by the contagion of earthly conuersation vnlesse they bee often bathed and moistened in the waters of repentance to carry her thorow to her iournies end So then my case and condition is such as in regard of many sports howerly falling and deepely staining my ill fauoured and disfigured Soule 〈◊〉 haue iust cause to pray earnestly that I may bee both often and throughly washed and by thee who canst alone make me cleane and clense me from my sinnes As I haue a great debt to be discharged much filthinesse to bee washed so haue I a loathsome Leprosie of sinne to be clensed wherefore I pray thee O Lord to clense mee from from my sinnes This Leprosie and the cure of it were shadowed out and figured also by sundry purgations clensings in thy Leuiticall law all poynting to that blood of the Lambe whereby my sinnes are purged The Leprosie as Physiicans tell vs is an hereditary disease descending from the Father to the Child An ignominious and odious disease banishing the Leper from all company a contagious disease spreading from man to man 〈◊〉 then the Plague a dull and stupid disease that makes him insensible altogether and a dangerous or rather desperate disease 〈◊〉 or not at all to be cured In all which 〈◊〉 sinne may fitly bee resembled to a 〈◊〉 for sinne comes by propagation from our first Parents to all their posterity It separates vs from thy presence from the company of thy 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of Angels and all good men It infecteth others and poyloneth not onely with the breath but with the sight of it too It benums vs so as wee feele not thy fearefull iudgements It is vtterly incurable otherwise then by the blood of the Lambe It hath been obserued that the teares of a Vine when it bleedes are a very good medicine for curing of the bodily Leprosie 〈◊〉 so the teares of the heart 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and lies lowe as doth 〈◊〉 Vine that 〈◊〉 and mournes in humility for sinne auaile much to 〈◊〉 clensing of this Leprosie of the soule My sinne as a Leprosie doth ouerspread both my soule and body from the crowne of the head to the sole of the foote from the highest faculty of my vnderstanding to the lowest affection of my will there is no sound part in mee my disease is growne to the height to full ripenesse or rather foule rottennesse it hath put out the scabbe as they say by enormious and scandalous actions Wherefore I beseech thee who art the prime and soueraigne Physician to looke vpon me with the eye of pitty and to clense and cure mee of my Leprous sinne and sinfull Leprosie 2. I know mine owne wickednesse and my sinne is euer before me or my sinne is euer against me BEfore the Prophet Nathan was sent as a speciall Bailife to summon me by a writ ad meliùs inquirendum I cast mine eye carelesly I did not fixe it fully I looked slightly and superficially as in passage not sadly and mournefully vpon my grieuous sins I did not behold them so seriously as I ought to haue done I saw but the Epitome or grosse summe of them I did not viewe them in the large volume written at length or rathere painted out as now they are in their true shapes and colours Euery man by the light of nature must needs see somewhat of this kinde in the glasse of his owne conscience but through the corruption of nature no man is willing to take a perfect suruay and make a full portraiture of his own transgressions There is in man an affected ignorance and blindnesse in this behalfe and who so blinde as he that will not see who so ignorant as hee that will not know As wee put off the euill day so long as we can so we put by the euill obiect so farre as wee may
the nocent cannot but yeeld and submit to such as in the same and in all other kindes are innocent and faultlesse Wherefore against thee onely haue I offended who only maiest aske confidently Who can reprooue me of sinne Now albeit thou know O Lord my sinnes not only before I confesse but before I commit them too yet I sinde that thou art well pleased to take knowledge of them by my acknowledgement and that thy Saints haue euer held it a poynt of honest policy to make thee propitious by confessing whom they could not find ignorant by denying or concealing their faults Finally though the hurt redound to many men 〈◊〉 the sinne is committed a gainst thee onely because thou art supreme Lord and soueraigne King the transgression of whose iust Lawe giueth being and birth to all sinne In which regard I may truly say that against thee thee only I haue sinned I haue done this euill in thy sight Since I professe to know mine owne wickednesse I will yet confesse it more freely because the more vile I am in mine own the more acceptable I shall bee in thine eyes By doing this euill by falling into this enormous sinne I haue fallen into a kinde of Atheisme at the very name whereof I tremble for although I haue not blasphemously and shamelesly spokē with my mouth yet haue I impiously and sinfully said in my heart There is no God or which is tantamount all one in effect God hides his face and will neuer see Which when I call to remembrance mee thinks I heare Nathan the Prophet againe fearefully thundering and directly charging me Thou art the man that thinkest There is no God For to deny expressely or tacitly thy science and wisdome who art all eye and wisdome it selfe is to deny thy very essence and being Whereupon my soule euen melteth within me and resolueth it selfe into teares to thinke that I could bee so impudently bold and insolently carelesse as in thy sight and presence thogh none else beheld to commit such foule and vgly offences Hee is held a desperate Malefactor that commits an outrage in presence of the Magistrate and before the Iudge his owne face Such in true iudgement is my case and this consideration alone if there were nothing else ought to be instead of a bridle to restraine and in stead of a bogle to terrifie me from all sinfull and wicked actions I was loth that man should see me and yet not afraid that thou shouldest behold mee whilest I did those foule and odious facts which in my better iudgement I finde to bee so grosse an absurdity as I am exceedingly both agreeued and ashamed that I forbare not to doe that when thou lookedst on with thy pure eyes which I should haue bin abashed to haue done if the meanest seruant in my house or the basest groome in my stable had been by A franke and sincere confession such as this is a full and direct conuiction in it selfe and of it selfe in courts held vpon earth and before men in foro fori as the Lawyers speake Wherupon the Iudge hath no other part to act but to pronounce sentence of cōdemnation But in foro Poli in thy court of Heauē the course of proceeding is far otherwise the best way there is to confesse before accusation or when thou art impleaded by and by to pleade guilty for a free confession moues thy gracious compassion and that without any more adoe grants forthwith a full and finall absolution This confession of mine doth imply of congruitie or rather of necessitie a profession and a kinde of obligation of forsaking such sins in time to come as I confesse my selfe to haue heretofore committed Else is my confession idle and counterfeit such as may deceiue mee that make it but not mocke Thee to whom it is made The heathen man by the dusky light of nature deriued from the nature of thy supernaturall light can say If I were assured that neither men should know nor gods would punish what I did yet would I disdaine to commit an act in it own nature foule and filthy How much more ought a faithfull man who besides the obscure glimpse of nature hath the pure light of thy Spirit and the bright lampe of thy Word shining vnto him to bee carefull and wary that he doe not wittingly and willingly or rather wilfully offend in the sight of thee the omnipotent and omniscient God who dost not only threaten the losse of thy fauour but the execution of thine eternall vengeance for the breach of thy commandements That thou maist be iustified in thy sayings and pure when thou art iudged And thus I make this franke acknowledgement of my foule faults as to ease mine oppressed soule so to vindicate thine honour from all vniust aspersions For as the scandall lies vpon the Iudge when punishment is inflicted vpon an innocent person so the ingenuous and voluntary confession of the partie touching his owne guilt preuents and excludes all imputation that may bee cast vpon the Iudge or iudgement My desire is as it is my dutie to take my sinnes wholly to my selfe and vpon my selfe I will yeeld the glory to thee to whom it is due I will reserue the shame to my selfe to whom it appertaineth I know O Lord that thy iudgements are right that thou hast afflicted me iustly I cannot impute any thing to thee O most iust God whose will is perfect iustice that thou hast either prouoked me to this enormous euill or consented to the committing of it for euen thy permission of this was a iust punishment for my other sinnes Mine owne fraile and peruerse nature my inbred corruption cast in the seed mine owne will or wilfulnesse rather cherished and nourished it mine own consent and delight fashioned it in the wombe of my sinful soule and at last brought it to light as one of Satans bastards to my iust confusion But thou O Lord art euer and euery way iust and so to be esteemed Thou hast dealt iustly in all that is come vpon me it is I that haue done wickedly I cannot say that thy seueritie or rigour is ouermuch against mee I haue deserued more then is laid vpon me He that is aware of his owne ill desert and weigheth it in an indifferent ballance doth rather thankefully wonder at thy indulgent mercie then vnpatiently repine at thy rigorous seuerity O Lord thou art iust when thou speakest pure when thou iudgest True it is that the wicked cease not to grunt and barke against thee though they cannot bite thee There is an ouer-great boldnesse and naughtinesse in men that they desire nothing more then to lift vp themselues and cast out ill words against thee at all aduentures The creatures passe their bounds so farre that thou the Creator must needs be blasphemed and reproched and thy creatures O indignity must become thy Iudges But yet for all this thou art and euer
I cannot but it erate my earnest Petition and re-enforce my humble Prayer to bee purged thereof and for the fitter application and better operation of the purgation to bee purged with Hysope Thou O Lord didst appoint Hysope to be vsed in thy Law for diuers purposes In the institution of the Passeouer the blood of the Lambe was appointed to bee sprinkled vpon the doore cheekes with a bunch of Hysope and with a Scarlet lace In the purgation of the Leper the bunch of Hysope was to bee dipped in the blood of the Sparrow In the burning of the red Heifer which was to bee chosen without spot or wrinckle the Priest was to put in Hysope besides Cedar wood and Scarlet By the blood of the Lambe the Sparrow and the red Heifer the blood of that immaculate Lambe was vndoubtedly prefigured and represented By the bunch of Hysope the besprinkling of the soule with that blood and the applying of it thereunto by faith by the red or crimson lace the vnion and communion of thy Saints was shaddowed who are tyed together by a True-loues knot and sprinkled with that same blood for the remission of their sinnes Whiles I suruey the vertues and qualities of this herbe to vnfold this riddle of thy Law I may iustly take occasion as to magnifie thy goodnesse O God who hast prouided so powerfull a medicine to cure all mans corruptions so to obserue thy wisedome who for our better apprehension hast so fitted the signe and figure to the thing signified and represented thereby Hysope whence I borrow this Allegory hath many things whereby it doth aptly and neerly resemble Christ. It is obscure base and low the Hysope as the lowest herbe is opposed to the Cedar as the tallest tree In the person of Christ I haue said I am a worme and no man the reproach of men and despised of the people all they that see me doe scoffe at me they 〈◊〉 a mowe with the lip and they wagge the head Hysope growes of it selfe among stones not planted by man Christ was hewne out of the Rocke without hands Hysope is bitter and sowre vnpleasing to the taste so Christ his Crosse by which we are crucified to the world the world vnto vs is harsh and vnsauourie to flesh and blood Though Hysope bee sowre it is wholesome for the body The bitter medicines are euer the better so the Recipe of repentance albeit odious to the flesh is most profitable to the soule The doctrine which is seasoned with salt and Hysope is fitter for vs then that which is sweetened with honey For on the one side honey was neuer appointed to be vsed in any sacrifice on the other side not any sacrifice but was to bee seasoned with salt Hysope as Physicians tell is powerfull to purge the lungs The humility of Christ like Hysope doth purge our pride which floteth in the lungs and is discouered by the fuming puffing and blowing thereof Hysope being hot in operation doth cut and extenuate the grosse and flegmaticke humours of the body So true grace takes away all the dulnesse and drowzinesse of my Spirit makes me feruent in prayers and zealous in holy duties Hysope euacuateth the body nourisheth the natiue colour cureth the biting of Serpents prouoketh the appetite sharpeneth the sight warmeth the blood cooleth Feauers So grace purgeth by contrition spitteth foorth by confession warmeth by charitie seasoneth by temperance quencheth the fiery inflamations of vnruly passions maketh vs hungry after righteousnesse quicke-sighted to discerne our own errours and faults yeeldeth remedies against the stings of concupiscence restores againe that spirituall vigour which we daily lose by our manifold transgressions Hysope hath many vertues and properties if well vsed for the health of our bodies But that which is shaddowed by it towit the bloud of Christ cures all the diseases of the soule and clenseth vs from all our sinnes With Hysope this blood is sprinkled vpon vs that is by faith it is applied to our consciences to purge and purifie them from dead workes 7 Wash me O Lord and I shall be whiter then snow BEcause I finde my selfe so spotted with the staines so polluted with the dirt and drosse of my sinne so soone soyled againe after my washing euen in the teares of repentance so prone with the Dog to returne to my vomit with the Hog to the myre wherein I formerly wallowed therefore I harpe still vpon this string which I touched before I doe iterate this Petition also and cry againe Wash me c. If thou Lord bee pleased to wash mee often and thorowly I shall not onely be freed from the foule blacknesse which my grieuous sinnes haue cast vpon mee but I shall become neate faire and white yea whiter then snow If I wash my selfe with snow water saith holy Iob and make my hands neuer so cleane yet shalt thou plunge me in the ditch or myre that is thou shalt discouer an vncleannes in me which was not perceiued before and mine own clothes shall abhorre me But if thou Lord bee pleased to wash me I shall be whiter then snow that is I shall abandon all euill affections and preserue my heart pure and holy consecrating all the faculties of my soule and members of my body to thy true and sincere seruice Can the Blackamore change his skinne or the Leopard quit his spots If that cannot be yet thou O Lord canst so wash me that I shall be whiter then snow That which is impossible by nature is possible and factible by grace That foulenesse which is propagated to mee by discent and bred in me by naturall generation as also nourished and increased by continual actuall transgression is not only remooued but quite changed by free iustification and supernaturall regeneration If my sinnes bee as red as skarlet thou canst make them as white as wooll if they bee like crimson thou canst make them whiter then snow O wonderfull mysterie O incomprehensible miracle that blood should make me white that the washing and bathing of my soule in the blood of that immaculate Lambe should make wee whiter then snow that euen the garments of thy Saints by washing in this blood should become white which yet shall bee reuealed to and wrought vpon thy Saints I shall bee white heere by grace yea whiter then snow I shall bee bright heereafter in glory brighter then the starres yea then the Sunne in the firmament grace heere shall be the beginning of glory there and glory there shall bee the complement and perfection of grace here This is arcanum 〈◊〉 diuini a secret of thy Diuine state and gouernement which thou shalt I am hopefull thou wilt not onely teach by infallible demonstration but also worke by thy blessed Spirit his powerfull operation in the secrets of my heart The cause of the snow his whitenesse is held by Philosophers to bee the store of ayre shut vp by the
and then I shall not faile to heare of this redoubled ioy and gladnesse which my sorrowfull perplexed soule doth so much hunger and thirst after I doe the more earnestly desire and affectionately long to heare of this ioy because it is an assay and foretaste of that ioy which I hope fully to enioy in heauen it is not the pawne or pledge that must bee returned againe but the earnest or Godspenny which continues still with the receiuer of a farre greater ioy heereafter and where thou giuest earnest thou neuer failest to performe the bargaine This ioy is great in the present exhibition far greater in the future expectation no meane ioy in the meane time while I liue in this valley of teares the life of grace but glorious and vnspeakable ioy hereafter in the life of glorie such ioy in the end as shall be without end in the heauenly 〈◊〉 where there shall be peace without trouble plenty without want light without darkenesse health without sickenesse melody without discord security without feare felicity without misery ioy without interruption or intermission ioy vpon ioy ioy exceeding all ioy without or beyond which there is no ioy at all If I heare this word of comfort in this life which giueth mee title and interest Thy sinne is forgiuen thee I shall be sure then to heare the warrant for possession and fruition Enter good seruant into thy Masters ioy Without this ioy there is nothing but disquiet and discomfort nothing but 〈◊〉 and horror nothing but apprehension of wrath and vengeance The wicked who heareth nothing of this ioy feeleth no serenitie or tranquillity of minde but as holy Iob saith is like a woman that is alwayes in trauaile like the raging sea still foaming and casting vp dirt and myre on the other part the penitent sinner who in anguish of soule harkeneth after these tydings deriueth ioy from the wel-head where there is Gods plenty as they say fulnesse of most sweet and delightfull comforts euen a torrent or strong running streame of pleasures flowing perpetually He shall haue incomparably more ioy than the worldling whose corne and wine and oyle are increased and therefore may lay him downe in peace and rest in security because thou makest him to dwell in safetie Such as the matter is whereof ioy ariseth and consisteth such is the ioy it selfe If the matter bee slight flitting and momentary as the world and the flesh are how can the ioy be constant solid and durable On the other side the ioy that is grounded vpon so precious a foundation as remission of sinne and reconciliation with thee how can it bee but vnchangeable and inexplicable This ioy will eate vp all false ioyes and flitting delights which men fansie to take in the pleasures of sinne as the Rod of Aaron did deuoure the rods of the Aegyptian Sorcerers This ioy like water will quench and extinguish all the hot desires and fiery lusts of the world and the flesh whatsoeuer That the bones which thou hast broken may reioyce I made my moane heeretofore that my bones were sore vexed that there was no peace or rest in them by reason of my sinne I now professe that they were not only crushed and bruized but euen disioynted and broken that is the most strong able powers and faculties of my soule and body which I describe by the name of bones haue been oppressed battered as it were with the terrible pangs and restles tortures which I haue suffered by the hammer of thine indignation conceiued against my grieuous and enormous transgressions But if thou Lord wilt now be pleased after my vnfained repentance to make me heare of this ioy and gladnesse all these bones 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 with the 〈◊〉 and marrow of thy 〈◊〉 shall in iust 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 cry out Lord who is 〈◊〉 vnto thee It is thy 〈◊〉 and manner of proceeding O Lord with thy dearest children Thou makest the wound and bindest it vpagaine thou smitest and healest againe thou killest and quickenest againe thou castest downe to the nethermost hell and thou raisest vp againe to the heauen of heauens shewing and declaring thereby thine irresistable power to worke mine humble obedience 〈◊〉 vnspeakable wisedome to breed my reuerent admiration thy seuere Iustice to beget mine awefull feare thy supereminent tender mercy to purchase mine affectionate loue towards thee The deeper mine humiliation is the greater will bee mine exaltation the sowrer the sorrow is the sweeter will the succeeding gladnesse prooue when thou shalt please to affoord it vnto me for not my spirit onely but all the parts of my soule and body will exceedingly reioyce when after these tempestuous stormes I shal safely arriue at the hauen of rest and contentment For as water is more grateful to the way-faring man after a long drought and a calme more 〈◊〉 to a sea-faring man after a terrible tempest so will my deliuerance bee after my tribulation O how beautifull will thy mercy appeare after the depth of my miserable affliction How shall I reioyce 〈◊〉 euer I was sorrowfull How shall my bones bee glad that euer they were broken I shall gratefully acknowledge that thy 〈◊〉 and thy staffe haue 〈◊〉 mee that is I shall take comfort that euer I was chastized with them and that according to the multitude of my griefes thy consolations haue made my minde ioyfull that is for euery sorrow that I receiued in time of my tribulation I shall receiue a consolation after my deliuerance O then what a madnesse is it to buy a little vaine idle frothie and momentany pleasure at so deare a rate as the vexation and anguish the terrors and tortures both of soule and body which none can conceiue by imagination but he that feeleth and he that feeleth is not able by any representation to expresse Hide thy face from my sinnes and blot 〈◊〉 all my transgressions Because my sinne is the source of my sorrow and the bane of my blisse I make this the burthen of my song and doe reiterate my Prayer for pardon I beseech thee once againe O Lord either to remooue thy sense from the obiect or the obiect from thy sense hide thine eyes from such an vgly sight looke another way behold any thing rather then it or if being all Eye thou canst not but see all things that are and so all my sinnes if they be at all O Lord blot them out let not them be to be seene blot them out all and at once vna litura with one dash of thy pen efface all my transgressions Hide thy face not from me but from my sinnes Thou hast charged me louingly Seeke my face and I haue answered resolutely Thy face Lord will I seeke If thou withdraw thy face from me woe is me I shall bee like those that goe downe into the bottomlesse pit wherefore still shew me the light of thy countenance looke vpon thy
thē I can performe I haue assumed and presumed to doe that 〈◊〉 is out of my power vnlesse thou O Lord bee pleased by thy gracious fauour to enable me for accomplishment thereof It is gracefull to me to shew my sefe gratefull to thee yea it is iust that for the singular benefit of thy Iustice in performing promised and vndeserued mercies I 〈◊〉 render all possible thanks and returne all manner of prayses vnto thee but this I am not able to make good without thy goodnesse As I could not repent nor beleeue so neither can I yeeld thankes or prayses but by thy gifts grace alone I am blinde and cannot see deafe cannot heare dumbe and cannot speake thy wonders thy words thy praises vnlesse thou open mine eyes eares and lips It is thou alone that must speake in mee that must worke in mee both to will and to do nay thou must do in me and for me what thou requirest to be done by me else it will be vnsaid and vndone thou must be all in all to 〈◊〉 else all will be nothing Who is hee among the sonnes of Adam that cannot sing and say any thing that is euill by his owne power and will by Satans instigation howbeit not without God his permission that cannot speak vaine and wicked words that cannot sing wanton and ribald songs scandalous and scurrilous libels that cannot blaspheme thee slander his neighbours that cannot flatter his superiours basely lye to his equals cunningly reproach his inferiours scornefully that cannot say and vnsay sweare and forsweare and what not But it is a good thing to sing prayses to thee That he cannot do nor say ought else that is good vnlesse thou put the thoghts into his heart and the words into his mouth Wherefore open thou my lips O Lord circumcise them vnty the strings of my tongue and 〈◊〉 not before my mouth shall shew forth thy prayse My lips shall speake thy praise when thou hast taught me thy statutes It is possible for a man that is stirred vp and preuented by thy grace to thinke and conceiue well what is to be said but to vtter deliuer that well is a further blessing and requires a new supply and helpe of grace for guiding and gouerning the tongue in that behalfe Nay there is yet a further and subsequent grace required to take a fit occasion and opportunity seasonably to vtter what is well conceiued and digested both in regard of the speaker and hearers that all interuenient impediments may bee remoued and taken away And in our case this is the more requisite because our prayers and prayses commonly goe together as is meete so as at one and the same time we are both to encounter Satan who is then most busie to distract and disturbe vs and God himselfe to whome by the feruent importunity of our prayers we must offer a kinde of violence as Iacob did when he was said to haue wrastled with thee Wherefore there is required a long Chayne fastened by many seuerall linckes of grace to binde together this blessed worke of setting forth thy iust and due prayses My mouth shall shew forth thy praise not onely in Psalmes and Hymnes with all manner of Iubilation but in the instruction admonition and correction of wicked and impious ones and the reduction of them to thy law and lore Nay I will play the Aduocate open my mouth for widdowes orphanes and other miserable creatures such as are tongue-tyed and cannot as are ouer-awed and dare not speake for themselues I will in earnest and effectuall manner recommend the care and protection of them also to all my subordinate Magistrates and Ministers He that speakes for such Clients may bee said to be thine owne mouth because thou 〈◊〉 the Patrone of all those that are oppressed for want of assistance and defence and men vndertake their causes by thy speciall assignement and deputation which redounds to thy prayse and glory in an extraordinary manner True it is that the thankfulnesse of the heart is the heart of thankefulnesse there is the well-spring The heart as a King commands this duty to bee done the tongue like an Herald sounds the Trumpet As the heart is the hart the tongue the trumpet so the life is the life of thankfulnes it must be acted indeede as well as proclaimed with the mouth Then will the tune be perfect when there is a true consort betweene the heart and the tongue and the deede The thankes and prayses must bee cordiall vocall and reall all together I doe sometimes in contemplation and admiration of thy wonderfull blessings bountiful fauours wherewith thou hast laden my soule as it were breake out into this exclamation and interrogation Quid retribuam What shall I render to thee Lord for all thy mercies In an amazed astonishment when I can giue my selfe no satisfactory answere knowing that all I can doe is lesse then nothing in comparison of what thou hast done to me or I should and would doe to thee yet thinking that I finde as it were something I resolue to make some shew of returne at least and to take the Cup of saluation or of health and call vpon the name of 〈◊〉 according to the custome of our Church and people who for benefits receiued vse to offer peace or thanke-offerings whereof they eate and reioyce before the Lord and at their banquets take vp the Cup of wine in their hands and blesse God called thereupon The Cup of Blessing When I seeke seriously what I might render vnto thee I finde nothing but what is thine already and therfore I must desire thee to giue mee to giue thee when all is done I must giue thee of thine own els I can giue thee nothing For who hath preuented thee or beene aforehand with thee Who hath giuen thee first Wherefore when the question is pursued and pressed yet further who hath giuen me this Cup of saluation I must ingeniously confesse that euen thou hast furnished mee with this kinde of retribution I cannot make this good without thy goodnesse I cannot praise thee vnlesse 〈◊〉 open my lips with the key of thy grace and tune my tongue and voyce to sing Praise thou the Lord c. O my soule I haue nothing of mine own to giue but my sin and that may not be presented vnto thee My sin is mine indeed and not thine I haue the full interest and ownership therof Whatsoeuer I haue else is thine and not mine thou art the sole Author and proprietary thereof Mine is only the fruition and vse by thy permission and as a Tenant at will I am but instrumentum animatum a meere instrument liuing by thy breath Thou must open my lips else my mouth cannot vtter thy praises The very sound and voyce in me is thine I am but the Eccho to resound and returne it againe As the Riuers flow from the the sea and reflow backe into it