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A19241 The defence of conny catching. Or A confutation of those two iniurious pamphlets published by R.G. against the practitioners of many nimble-witted and mysticall sciences. By Cuthbert Cunny-catcher, licentiate in Whittington Colledge. Greene, Robert, 1558?-1592. 1592 (1592) STC 5656; ESTC S105058 30,088 38

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our ordinary Tauerus do not t●ey make poore men connies that for their currant mony giue them counterfeit wine What say you to the Butcher with his prickes that hath pollicies to puffe vp his meate to please the eye is not al his craft vsed to draw the poore Conny to ryd him of his ware Hath not the Draper his darke shop to shadow the dye and wooll of his cloth and all to make the country Gentleman or Farmer a conny What trade can maintaine his traffique what science vphold it self what man liue vnles he growe into the nature of a Cony-catcher Doo not the Lawyers make long Pleaes stand vpon their demurres and haue their quirks and quiddities to make his poore Client a Cony I speake not generally for so they be the ministers of iustice and the Patrons of the poo●e mens right but particularly of such as hold gaines their G●d and esteeme more of coyne then of conscience I remember by the way a merry iest performed by a Foole yet wittily hit home at hazard as blinde men shoote the Crow A pleasant Tale of Will Sommers KIng Henry the eight of famous memory walking one day in his priuy Garde● with Will Sommers his Foole it fortuned that two Lawyers had a sui●e vnto his maiestie for one piece of grounde that was almost out of lease and in the Kinges gift and at time put vp their Supplication to his highnesse and at that instant one of the Pantry that had been a long seruiture had spyed out the same land and exhibited his petition for the same gift so that in one houre all the three Supplications were giuen to the King which his highnesse noting and being as then pleasantly disposed he reuealed it to them that were by him how there were three Fishes at one b●yte and all gapte for a benefice and hee stood in doubt on whome to bestowe it and s● shewed them the Supplications the Courtiers spoke for their felow except two that were feed by the Lawyers and they ●articularly pleaded for their friendes yelding many reasons to the King on both sides At last his maiestie sayd hee would referre the matter to Will Sommers which of them his Foole thought most worthy of it should haue the lande Will was glad of this and loued him of the Pan●rie wel and resolued he should haue the ground but the Foole brought it about with pretty iest Marry quoth he what are these two Lawiers I Will saide the King then quoth the Foole I wil vse them as they vse their poore clients Looke here quoth he I haue a Walnut in my hand and I wil diuide it among the three so Will crackt it and gaue to one Lawyer one shel and to an other the other shel and to him of the Pantry the meat so shal thy gift be Harry quoth he this Lawyer shal haue good Bookes and this faire promises but my felow of the Pantry shal haue the land For thus deale they with their clyents two men goe to two and spende all that they haue vpon the Lawe and at last haue nothing but bare shales for their labour At this the King and his Noble men laught the Yeoman of the Pantry had the gift and the Lawyers went home with fleas in their eares by a Fooles verdite I rehearst this Act to shew how men of Lawe feede on poore mens purses and makes their country clyents oftentimes simple connyes But leauing these common courses and trinial examples I wil shew you maister R. G. of a kinde or Conny-catchers that as yet passeth al these There bee in Englande but especially about London certayne quar●t pickt and neate com●anions attyred in their apparel eyther alla mode de Fraunce with a side Cloake and a hat of a high blocke and a broad brimme as if hee could with his head cosmographise the world in a moment or else Allespanyole with a straight bombast● fleeue like a quaile pipe his short Cloake and his Rapier hanging as if he were entering the List to a desperate Combate his beard squared with such Art eyther with his mustachies after the lash of Lions standing as stiffe as if he wore a Ruler in his mouth or else nickt off with the Italian cut as if he ment to professe one faith with the vpper lippe and an other with his nether lippe and then hee must be Marquisad●d with a side peake pendent eyther sharpe lyke the single of a Deere or curtold lyke the broad ende of a Moule spade This Gentleman forsooth hanteth Tabling houses Tauerns and such places where yong nouices resort can fit his humor to all companies and openly shadoweth his disguise with the name of a Traueller so that he wil haue a superficiall insight into certaine phrases of euerie language and pronounce them in such a grace as if almost hee were that Countryman borne then shal you heare him vaunt of his trauels and tel what wonders he hath seene in strange countries how be hath bin at Saint Iames of Gompostella in Spaine at Madril in the Kings Court and then drawing out his blade hee claps it on the boord and and sweares he bought that in Toledo then wil he roue to Venice and with a sigh discouer the situation of the citie how it is seated two Leagues from Terra frenia in the Sea and speake of Rialto Treuiso and Murano where they make Glasses and to set the young gētlemans teeth an edge he wil make a long tale of La Strado Courtizano wher the beautiful Curtizans dwel discribing their excellency and what angellical creatures they be and how amorously they wil entertaine strangers Tush he wil discourse the state of Barbary and there to Esc●●tes and Alcaires and from thence leape to Fraunce Denmarke and Germany After all concluding thus What is a Gentleman saith he without trauaile euen as a man without one eye The sight of sundry c●untries made V●isses so famous bought witte is the sweetest and experience goeth beyond all Patrymon●es Did young Gentlemen as wel as I know the pleasure profit of 〈◊〉 they would not keep them at home within their 〈…〉 but visit the world win more wisedome in trauelling two or three yeeres then all the wealth their Ancestors left them to poss●sse Ah the sweet sight of ladies the strange wonders in cities and the diuers manners of men and theyr conditions were able to rauish a yong Gentlemans sences with the sur●et of content and what is a thousand pound spent to the obtaining of those pleasures All these Nouelties doth this pip●ed Bragout boast on when his only trauaile hath been to look on a faire day from Douer Clifts to Callis neuer hauing stept a foot out of England but surueyed the Maps and heard others talke what they knew 〈◊〉 experience Thus decking himselfe like the Daw with the faire feathers of other birds and discoursing what he heard other men report hee grew so plausible among yoong Gentlemen that he got his ordinary