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A65616 The wheel of fortune: or, Nothing for a penny Being remarks on the dawing [sic] the penny-lottery, at the Theatre-Royal, in Dorset-Garden, with the characters of some of the honourable trustees, and all due acknowledgments paid to his honour the undertaker. Written by a person who was cursed mad he had not the thousand pound lot. 1698 (1698) Wing W1597C; ESTC R221991 3,173 13

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THE Wheel of Fortune OR Nothing for a Penny BEING Remarks on the dawing the Penny-Lottery at the THEATRE-ROYAL in Dorset-Garden with the Characters of some of the Honourable Trustees and all due acknowledgments paid to his Honour the Undertaker Momento turbinis exit Macrus Davus Pers Written by a Person who was cursed Mad he had not the Thousand pound Lot LONDON Printed in the Year 1698. Price three pence THE Wheel of FORTUNE OR Nothing for a Penny DAme Fortune assist If you please or you list Whilst I sing in the praise of a fancy Which has gather'd the Croud Rich Poor and Proud From her Grace down to Susan and Nancy We should do 'em much wrong Not to praise the dull Throng And admire how the Devil so many Could venture together In these sharp times and weather And all for one pitiful Peny But the thing which in chief Will suspend our belief Because so uncommon and rare Is that this happn'd out When the Rabble and Rout Should have paid their respects at Horn-fair For the Cit was afraid Should he with Fork and Spade Like a true London Cuckold advance Some more lucky Sot Had march'd off with his Lot And that was the Thousand pound Chance But no more of the Cits If we 're in our right Wits And Reverence the Sword and the Mace For Sir H won't suffer Nor Flouter nor scoffer Those he 's the chief of to disgrace Wherefore let us proceed To give those who can read An account of the wise Undertaker And as far as we dare Tho' the Cuckolds we spare Make bold with the brisk Cuckold-maker The Wheel's being plac'd And Lacker'd and grac'd Like a Chariot of Triumph or State The Mob Sir and Gentry At one time make their entry And promiscuously take each their place Here Sarah and Moll Sit with Richard and Paul And a Person of Quality by 'em Who with Hat lowring down Casts many a frown Because Sir his Honour 's so nigh ' em But no matter for that They ne're mind his Hat But keep gaping and talking and staring Whilst state keeps the Lord From saying one word And much trys his Lordship's forbearing Look ye Sarah says Paul Our Old Master's Hall Is a booby to thick zame vine place Zwounds Girl thick holds more Than his by zome score And looks in a much better case Vaith if yonder Dame Vortune Behind that zame Curtain Will a thousand pound give for my Penny Why mun Thee and I Shall have mony to buy A Barn that will hold full as many I vow and indeed If I shou'd zucceed We'd have Roast-meat besides upon Zunday And e cod Girl a Witch Said I should be rich As the Parson himself should be one day When up flew the Curtain And shew'd Goddess Fortune Triumphantly plac'd on a Throne Lord how each beg'd and pray'd For her Ladiships aid Tho' they had as well let her alone For regardless she sate ' Midst her Pomp and her State Nor dar'd promise any her Favour Whilst a Goddess sate by And with piercing eye Observ'd her designs and behaviour For the Deity Justice Sate over the Trustees And his Honour the noble Inventer And upon my word Her Scales and her Sword Would have been too hard for bad intent here Beneath Fortune that Goddess Stood one not over modish With his Hat in his hand and beseeching That her Ladiship wou'd Use his words which were good And his Prologue to make her speech in 'T was a Poet it seems With his Fancies and Dreams But Lord what a figure he made How he squeez'd when the Lady Was not over ready And repeated not what he had said As the Prologue was spoke Without good sence or joke So a Lord of high Title and Birth First vow'd he was just And in Sirs he thrust The Tickets which caus'd mighty mirth Those who were before sad Look'd jocund and glad Not doubting but right would be done Since a Peer who laid claim To Honour and Fame Swore all should be paid that was won For tho' we all knew 'T was certain and true That the Tickets should all be drawn out Yet some were afraid They would never be paid And at what time they will 's yet a doubt There was none but could read What his Lordship had said In the Majors boon Air and his Mein For how could he do wrong Who had such a fine Tongue And whose face and whose hands were so clean Tho' some who were there Did not stick to declare That his Honour was not a great Wit Yet I vow and protest Hes as wise as the best If they can ne'er be foolish who get For what needed he mind Whether Lame Sick or Blind The one Thousand pound Ticket should win When all of us knew He himself would gain two If I said more it could be no sin In a close Mourning suit Majestick and mute Like a true man of breeding he sat And would not so much As offend with a touch The Mob or his Wig with his Hat But a Doctor whose head Was not so well bred Cock'd his Felt to a Hair on his Crown And swore 't was not Law To be kept so in awe Of the scum of the Land the Mob's frown With his eyes on his nose His worship arose I should say his Honour for he Tho' he 's lost all his places And at Court in disgrace is Has gain'd the name of a Trustee There 's nothing that 's evil Said Man of Law Civil Intended by small or great Wheel Can you think a Lord's Brother Will do as another Or Quality act any ill By Digests and Codes There are no greater Odds Than one Thousand eight Hundred to One And that is not many For a Lot's but a Penny And I stand here to see Justice done Can ye think Sirs one bred To write and to read As I will pass by a deceit No I 'll lay a wager His Honour the Major Has not a bad thought in his Pate Why Sirs I am known To Country and Town And have pleaded for Pirate and Thief And tho' Judges and Jury Would not hear me I assure ye I can't but deserve your belief The folks could not say no ' Cause he made such a show And was one of the fam'd Overseers Tho' he might then have known What they thought would be done Had his eyes but kept watch with his Ears For those who were told How clam'rous and bold He had been in his Advocate 's place Thought his condescention To such an Invention Had very much alter'd the Case And in troth it was mean For him to be seen For a poor sorry penny chance pleading Who ne'er would make a plea Without a pound Fee And very good drinking and feeding But some who would excuse Said he ought not to refuse A Place of such Honour and State Since he would never lack No good Fowls or good Sack Which men of the Law never hate But this may fuffice As the Pulpiter crys Who nothing sufficient has shown For both I and you know That Crimine ac uno The faults of the rest may be known The Lots and the Prizes Of all sorts and sizes Being plac'd in the Wheels as design'd A Boy at each Wheel Stood ready to feel If her Ladiship Fortune was kind But me thought the Undertaker Made a mighty mistake here In sending for Boys from a place As the house of Correction To give their inspection In a thing of such Grandure and Grace For how could he suppose Any credit from those Who are bred amongst Thieves and are taught To sink and to palm Without any Qualm And whose livelihood is to be nought Tho' some thought it just That they should have that trust As aggreeable to the plot laid For the Devil a bit Did the Men of Wit If they won believe they should be paid The fair Mrs Wise Got the Fortunate prize If Post-boys and Post-men are true Tho' what she 'll receive Gentle Readers I leave To such Politicians as you This I am sure of that she May have you him or me If they justly and honestly pay her For a Thousand pound Sterlin Will make any Girl in The Kingdom succeed in her prayer But have it or not She 'll ne'er like such a sot As the Person who writing now is For it is his damn'd fate Neither splay-foot nor strait E're yet fell in love with his Phiz Wherefore Fortune and Justice Vndertaker and Trustees And Cashiers and Bankers adieu For it is but fitting There should be some greeting At parting between me and you I have no more to say If you will you may pay If you wo'nt you may take to your heels For Zouns I have lost Ev'ry Jack to my cost And along with your damn'd Wheels FINIS