deserve to be heard because they require a civility that they will not pay As they are uncapable to speak what is fine themselves so they are to understand it when spoken by others And it must be beliv'd they would not speak so many ill things if they would give themselves more leisure to hear those that are good And however there are too many to be sound who affect and are proud of this impertinent Tattle who think it a sign and proof of much Wit to speak much and a disgrace to listen with silence to the discourses of others Yet I fear not to say to them a truth which may be very useful tho it be not very pleasant Those of this Humour are incapable of any trust they can keep nothing secret of their designs or business That which is only in the thoughts of the Wise is in the Mouth of the Imprudent And no otherwise than as they say of the Dead Sea that nothing there will go to the bottom and whatever is cast upon it instead of sinking down floats at the top of the Water It is just after the same manner with some tatling humours they can keep nothing to themselves instead of concealing wisely what is important they make all appear both in their looks and discourses See here the unhappiness of those that talk much in an entertainment Let them consider as much as they can their discourse it is next to impossible but that in saying a great many things some of them will be such as ought not to be said As it is difficult in removing the hand often not to lay it sometimes upon the part that is ill so 't is as difficult in speaking much to avoid touching sometimes upon our most secret and important designs And if unthinkingly we many times lay our hand upon a place that is in pain we as unthinkingly let our Tongue run into the predominant Passion of the Mind I know well enough there are those who promise themselves they will never discover their Secrets tho they do give themselves leave to talk much in Company Imagining 'tis enough for the avoiding this to put themselves upon general matters and to propose the speaking of things indifferent But there is no manner of safety in this sort of Conduct for tho they think themselves speaking only of Common things they that have any measure of Wit above a very low degree will easily remark some traces or shadows of their thought The secret meaning appears through this Veil And as we see the Needle touched with a Loadstone tho far distant from the Pole yet turning that way and pointing towards when it does not touch it so our Speech has always I know not what of our Thought and will shew it in the most distant Harangue and among the matters that are the most Universal Let us set our selves as much as we will to dissemble and feign after we have flutter'd a while about the secret of our Hearts like a Flie about the Candle yet at last we shall there burn our Wings We lose our selves like them there where we trifle and play I am extreamly in love with this Comparison because those Women that are so much addicted to talk do mightily resemble those little Creatures who are made up altogether of Wings who have no solidity of Body who have nothing but Colour to derive to their young ones and discover their weakness even by their lightness But if the Arguments I make use of do seem to be weak I will give them a most excellent Example which perhaps will have more effect than all the Precepts of Morality For let them cast their Eyes but a little on her that ought to be the Rule as she is the Ornament of their Sex they will perceive that the Holy Scripture does not mention her speaking more than four or five times in her whole life It may be this will seem to them very difficult and I believe it were a miracle in some if they could only hold their peace with discretion so many times as the Blessed Virgin is said to have spoke and if they did abuse their speech but as seldom as she made use of hers They are alas too far from arriving at this perfection Instead of an imitation of it in not speaking but out of Charity or Modesty as she did they hardly ever speak but to say something ill of others or to boast something good of themselves Their Discourse is all made up of Condemnations or Praises that are both unjust It is nothing else but Vanity or Evil speaking There is no doubt then to be made but that many must be at great pains with themselves to restrain as they ought the Liberty of their Tongue From whence it is very hard for them to succeed well in entertaining and the indiscretion of their discourse does very often expose them to the railery or hatred of the Publick It is also the unhappiness of those who have not prudence enough to examin their own speeches that they are yet less able to consider well what they hear said by others Their liberty is blind and utters upon all manner of occasions and in all companies Yet I do not design to say in this matter that there are not certain rencounters wherein they may speak with more freedom than in many others BUT IT OUGHT to be very well observed to whom we discover our sentiments when there is danger in having them publisht And it would be to us an occasion for a most bitter repentance to find that in the mouths of all the World which ought never to have fled from our own It seems to me therefore that the remedy for this mischief that you may not be continually subject to the alarms of other peoples obloquy nor yet forced to live always under a violent constraint is this to chuse well those whose company you intend mostly to frequent and not to make acquaintance indifferently with all sorts of persons And to speak my thoughts concerning the Election that ought to be made of the Wits or Humours capable of your Conversation I find there are two sorts of persons whom you ought absolutely to fly they are the Vicious and the Ignorant Because the Conscience is not safe with the former nor the Mind contented with the Latter The entertainment of those who want Religion or Knowledge ought to be entirely suspected and we have reason to judge that it must have some grand design to excuse two so great defects as Impiety and Ignorance This Evil Choice offends the Vertues either Moral or Christian For is it not true that in communicating as freely with the meanest Spirits as with the most excellent we oblige neither the one nor the other because the latter are offended at this and the former will deride and abuse it This is imprudently to afford matter either to Hatred or Railery you will in this way obtain the approbation of no body while
what S. Jerom says concerning the Education of the young Pacatula and which may be of great use to those of her Sex As soon says he as She shall have passed the Age of seven Years let her learn the Psalter by heart and let the holy Scripture be all the Treasure of her Soul She ought to begin to be instructed he adds as soon as she begins to blush As soon as they are capable of Shame they are capable of Discipline From the Time that they show the Marks of their Conscience upon the Countenance it ought to be believed that Remorse has taken place of Innocence since they already know to put a Difference between Good and Evil. See here the Opinion of that holy Man which perhaps may seem too severe to a great many But let the World think of it what they will the Corruption of Education which we commonly see is an unparallell'd Disorder When we may see Young Persons allow'd all manner of Liberty and that they are praised for that which they ought to be corrected for and as if there were a Fear that they should not learn to sin soon enough they are accustomed to see and to do Evil to the end they may have the less Fear when they shall be arrived to a riper Age. THAT NONE MAY accuse me of too much Severity I declare that too great a Restraint is often very dangerous and the Danae whom the Poets tell of was corrupted in that Tower where her Parents had shut her up to keep her safe This Solitude was more dangerous to her than Company might have been I own that as Waters pent in rush with the greater Violence when they get loose so those humours that have been too hardly used fly out with the greater License when they can meet with a favourable Occasion Lastly I grant that there ought to be Moderation used in this Matter That they ought not to have all things permitted nor all forbidden them that Prudence should shew us a certain Path between Licentiousness and Tyranny and that we should mannage wisely our Promises and Threatnings our Sweetness and Rigour BUT HOWEVER in my Opinion Restraint is more safe for this Age than Liberty And if one has not a very good Understanding the Chains of Fear hold us to our Duty much better than the Cords of Love Gentleness is good for those who have some Knowledge and a good Wit but to those that want these it is very dangerous If they have a good Nature Liberty may corrupt it If a vicious one they want nothing but Occasions or Opportunities to do ill It seems to me convenient to treat young Persons as they do those that are sick We must have regard to what is profitable to them not to what would be most pleasing There is too great Hazard in committing them to their own Conduct Distrust in this Case is one of the fittest Parts of Prudence which ought not only to regard the Evils impending but also those that are possible so as to make Provision against them By keeping them at a Distance from Temptation and Opportunity at least we take from them the Effects if we take not the Desires If the Venom stays with them of a vicious Inclination it is hinder'd from hurting And that we may the better make it appear how far the Fear of Danger ought to extend let us observe that S. Jerom did forbid to the young Pacatula not only the Company at Balls and Comedies but also even the Assemblies of the Church when there was Danger These in truth are Holy Places but there are in them sometimes Spectators and Occasions that are Profane BUT IF WE enquire further into the Original of Evil we shall find that the greatest Danger of Corruption for young Children is very often Domestick And if many Daughters have the Vices of their Mothers this is by Imitation as well as by Resemblance in Disposition A bad Example has no less Power and Influence in the Matter of Education than the Blood has upon the Birth I blush when I consider the Disorder of the Age. How is it possible that this Child should not be addicted to Gaming who has perhaps hardly ever seen his Father without the Dice or Cards in his Hand And how can this Daughter be Chast who knows her Mother daily sighing after her Gallants who sees her every Moment receiving Love-Letters and never hears her speak but of Walks and Assignations that are suspected Besides this How can we reprove them for a Vice who have seen us committing the same To speak the Truth Whatever Menaces whatever Lectures we give them still the Example shall have more Power to carry them to Ill than Corrections or Forbiddings can have to withhold them from it As the Vine lifts it self upon the first support it can find so Childhood conforms its self to the first Model that it sees Not being yet able to act by reason it moves by Example Childhood receives the bad Impressions easily but they cannot be defaced again but with a great deal of Difficulty And if the Apostles seem'd to find it difficult to drive out a Devil from one that had been possess'd from his Youth we ought to believe this a Miracle very rare The Conversion of a Person debauched from his Childhood Whenever the Education is bad Vice gets so deep rooting in our Souls that it is in a manner impossible to get rid of it And let it be judged what Hope there is of saving a Person when a vicious Habit is added to a vicious Nature To oblige Mothers to think the more seriously of this Matter we have many Examples as well sacred as profane which might be produced but I shall content my self to shew them that of the Eurydice in Plutarch This illustrious Lady being now well advanced in Years made her self be taught the Arts and Languages to the end that she might be able to teach them her self to her Children She did not at all think it sufficient to give them Life by bringing them forth if she did not also render them vertuous by their Education How lovely is this Example From hence we may learn that the Mothers who have no Merit nor Goodness ought to acquire it at least on purpose for the Instruction of their Children And if a Heathen had so much Care for the teaching of her Children to speak well how much more should the Christian Ladies have for the Instructing of theirs to live well Of an Equal Mind under Good and Bad Fortune IT IS NOT a small difficulty to determine whether the Women are more capable of Moderation in a good Fortune or of Patience in a bad one Whether they are more subject to Despair under Affliction or to Insolence when they are Prosperous since to speak the truth both Grief and Pleasure sometimes do no less harm to our Spirits than Frosts or great Hearts of the Sun do to Flowers and as a Flame goes out by
of the Books we read Our humour is alter'd while we think not of it we laugh with them that laugh we are debauch'd with the Libertine and we rave with the Melancholick To that degree are we influenced as to find our selves altogether changed with our reading of some Books we entertain other Passions and Steer another course of life The reason of this is not difficult to be found out for as teeming Mothers cannot look intently upon some Pictures without giveing their Infants some marks of what they observe why should we not easily believe that the Lascivious stories in Romances may have the same effect upon our Imagination and so leave some Spots upon the mind I grant indeed that we know what we read to be meer fiction yet it fails not for all that to give real motions while we read it the inclination that we have to evil is so strong that it improves by examples of evil tho we know them to be false ones As the Jvy mounts and supports its self by the hollow and dry Tree as well as by the sound and green one so our natural corruption and irregular Appetites carry us so strongly to what is forbidden that even a false and feigned History is sufficient to encourage and animate us to the most wicked undertakings As the Birds were invited to peck at the Painted Grapes of Xeuxis so our Passions take fire at the Amours that are described in Romances The reading of so many wanton things in those Books heats a Person by little and little and insensibly destroys that reluctancy and horrour that should always possess us against all that is evil We grow so familiar with the Image of Vice that we fear not when we meet with the thing it self And after a Man has lost the modesty of his mind he must be in a great deal of danger to lose also that which his modesty alone could have preserved As the Water infallibly runs west when the Banks that restrain'd it are broken down so our affections escape with all manner of liberty after that this honest fear which should govern them is remov'd This licentiousness indeed is not always form'd in a moment nor do we become vicious all at once by this reading The contagion of these Books gains upon the heart almost by insensible degrees it works in the mind as Seed does in the Earth first it spurts then it shoots out and grows every day stronger and stronger that it may bring forth at last the pernicious Fruit of wickedness But this is not yet all the evil that attends the reading of Romances But after it has render'd us bold enough and given courage to do ill in the next place it renders us ingenious and cunning we derive from thence subtilty with confidence and do not only learn the evil we should be ignorant of but also the most delicate and charming ways of committing it And to speak with reason how can it be imagin'd possible to read some Paragraphs in those Books without a great deal of danger When we often see there this Woman quitting her Country and her Parents to run after a stranger whom she fell in love with in a moment Or read how the other found ways to receive Letters from her Gallants or to give them their guilty assignations These are nothing but Lessons of Artifice and skill to teach persons how they may sin with subtilty And for my part I am not able to apprehend with what appearance of reason any can justify so dangerous a Reading On the contrary the Lacedemonians forbad the hearing of Comedies because they present sometimes Murders sometimes Thefts or Adulteries and because in a well regulated Common-wealth nothing ought to be suffer'd that is contrary to the Law not even in fictions or plays Why then are these Romances permitted where we read almost nothing but actions that are dishonest examples that are lascivious and passions that are extravagant Shall we dare to read those things in Books which the Heathens forbid to be represented on Theaters Shall it be said that Christians have less love for Vertue than Infidels And if they were afraid lest the People should be debaucht by such sights have not we reason to fear that weak minds may be corrupted by so filthy reading Nevertheless some may accuse me of too much severity who will be vext to see me ravishing from them their beloved Idols in taking away their Romances who will be griev'd no less for their losing of these bad Books than the Women of whom the Holy Scripture speaks that were weeping for the loss of Jammuz A falsehood shall often have more of the Vogue than truth and they will more willingly read those Books that corrupt the manners than those that regulate them and there are many Ladies that learn to tell without Book the Stories of Amedis while they neglect those of the Holy Writt Lastly they take much less pleasure in the best Sermon than in a sorry Comedy and go oftner to hear a Buffoon than a Preacher Straton complain'd very justly that he had fewer Scholars than Menedemus because there are many more to be found who seek the School of Pleasure than there are that follow that of Vertue and we love rather those who flatter us and make us laugh than those that make us sad and menace us tho for our advantage AND THAT I may conceal nothing that is to the purpose It is extreamly unhappy to mankind that it is enough to raise a curiosity for the Reading of any Book to know that it is forbidden as we observe by daily experience I think the same Evil Spirit who deceiv'd the first of Women possessing her to her destruction with the pleasures of the Tree of knowledge does still inspire others after the same manner promising their eyes shall be opened and they shall see admirable things in what is forbidden them and making them believe 't is out of envy alone that such reading is forbidden them This errour corrupts a great number of those who are persuaded by their Flatterers that as weak persons are always in danger even in the midst of things that are good So the most able Spirits are never in danger no not among a multitude of things that are bad and therefore all reading is to be forbidden to the one sort and all is to be permitted to the other But for my part I must needs think the contrary and declare that whatever measure of Wit any can have they are not withstanding always oblig'd to flee from danger And I doubt there are very few that have the strong constitution of Mithridates to nourish themselves with Poison and live upon that which is mortal to all others I approve no more of the Poets than Romances when there is any thing of ill in them In what ever Period or Page I find any thing of Vice it is my intention to make War with that And let the World think of this
much Confidence And to give a touch at the Principal Vices which are contrary to this Vertue Those Women that kill themselves are not courageous but desperate this is to give way instead of defending our selves It is to yield our selves to an Enemy without putting him to the trouble to conquer us There is no great need of Resolution to lay hold on Death for a rememdy to it self There is no great strength of Spirit to practise upon our selves the Office of an Hangman It is better to seek the end of a Disease in good Medicaments than in Poison otherwise this is not a resistance but a flight this is not to seek a remedy but to render our ruin the more Infallible As we count the Body weak when it sinks under a small Burden so we ought to believe the Mind cowardly when it faints under an Affliction It is indeed upon this ground that many accuse the Women But the Men have no Reason to Reproach them for a Vice which themselves are often guilty of As Lucretia kill'd her self for the Loss of her Honour Cato did the same thing for the Loss of Liberty And why should they blame a young Lady for that which many have so highly commended in a Philosopher And to say the truth though some have set themselves to invent Slanders for the disparagement of the Women it ought to be own'd that they are more firm to their designs than the Men. At least let us learn from the Holy Scripture that upon an occasion which required the greatest Affection and Courage towards the Service of God One might have seen three Mary's under the Cross where there was but one of Twelve Disciples Of Constancy and Fidelity THOSE THAT HAVE been possest with a belief that Levity is natural to Woman when they read this Discourse which undertakes to prove the contrary they will perhaps think that we pretend to find Stability in the Winds a good foundation upon the Waters or strength in Reeds But setting aside their Opinion since it is not our Design or Commission to rectify all those who are in an Errour we will make it appear that as to what concerns Inconstancy that Sex are more in danger to be injur'd by it than to be guilty of it And that their distrust is very just in an Age when the Friendships that are promised with a great deal of Ceremony are without Truth or but of a Moments Duration Constancy is not used but in good things and Obstinacy in those that are evil otherwise Wickedness would be Eternal and Repentance should be forbid for fear of a change When an alteration is just it is a matter of Choice when 't is not so it proceeds from Levity As it is not reasonable that they who are sick should remain always in that condition that they might not be inconstant so likewise I do not think there is any more fault in forsaking an ill Opinion than in getting rid of a Fever And I believe that to Repent may be as necessary to the Mind as Medicines are sometimes to the Body What danger is there in preferring a greater merit to a less or to own that the Sun has more of light than the Stars Otherwise the first things that we shall happen to see in the World would put a Shackle upon our Liberty even to the taking away from us the right of Chusing or to the making us love that which may be worthy of Hatred Those that highly esteem'd Nero while he manag'd himself wisely in the first five years of his Empire Were they oblig'd for this to love and Honour him also when he was become a Tyrant After he had cashier'd all his Vertue must they still owe him Friendship I did love this Man for his Merit this Face for its beauty this Flower for its Colour this Man is debaucht and become vicious this unhappy Face is grown ugly this fine Flower Alas is wither'd why would you have me to be still fond of an object where the lovely Qualities are no more to be found And can the Building stand when the Foundation is taken away If this be a due preserving of these Melancholy Laws of Constancy They who love a curious Picture would be oblig'd to admire the Cloth too after that the fine Draught were defaced There is no Religion in that Love which obliges to pay an Honour to such Relicks any more than as our Affection may be changed into Pity with the decay of the Object or unless it were to avoid Ingratitude rather than Inconstancy It is for this reason that they who love nothing but the Beauty of the Body have a great deal of difficulty to live long in Love It is only the Beauty of the Mind and the never fading Charms of Vertue that can lay hold of us for ever Faces as well as the Years have their Seasons How agreeable and lovely soever a Spring may be we must expect to see the Flowers wither'd away and to endure a Winter after the fine days NEVERTHELESS there is no ground to condemn so noble a Vertue and a quality so necessary to the World as Constancy without which all the Love in it were but Treachery and Deceit Let it then be taken how it will whether as Men are wont to do or according to reason I say the following Examples will shew that the Men are very injurious when they give the Names of Vices to the Vertues of the Women when they will needs call them obstinate or fickle tho they have reason to change or not to change Sinorix being deeply in Love with Camma the Wife of Synattus he employed all his Arts to win her consent to his Passion But when all his endeavours together with the Luster of his Quality were not of force sufficient to shake the Resolution of this Woman he imagin'd that if her Husband were but taken out of the World he should then easily possess what was now refused him He kill'd him and after that Cruelty he so importun'd the Parents of this Widow that by their influence she at last consented in appearance to the Marriage of Sinorix When they were come then to Celebrate the Marriage and that they must go to the Temple of Diana This Chast Lady brings out a Cup of Wine of which she drinks a good part to Sinorix and gives him the rest he received it joyfully and drank it all not imagining in the least that it was poisoned Camma seeing her design now accomplisht she threw her self upon her Knees before the Image of Diana to whom she gave her thanks and made her excuses after this manner Great Goddess thou knowst with how great a Constraint and with what Design I have consented to marry with this Murderer If Grief would kill as often as it is extream I should not have been now in this World where nevertheless I have not refused to stay a while that I might take vengeance on this perfidious Man whom thou
entangled the Thread is Prudence and Ariadne that gave him it represents to us those Judicious Ladies that often withdraw their Husbands from those extremities out of which they were not able to help themselves When Jason was to have become a Prey to those furious Bulls that guarded the Golden Fleece was it not Medea that enchanted them and made an easie way for this Prince to carry off that which no man before durst attempt By these Bulls we are to understand those dangers that often hinder the getting possession of excellent things by the Fleece is meant the designs of men and what they pretend to by Medea the Women of Wit and Spirit who know to charm these dangers without making use of any other Magick for this purpose but only that of their Prudence and Conduct to the end they may deliver those that resemble Jason that is to say such as have more Boldness to undertake Business than Address and Skill to succeed in it The Ladies are not only capable to know what is of Importance in Business or Trafick but even to apprehend whatever is most Subtile or Solid in the Highest Wisdom If the Oracle of Apollo declar'd Socrates the wisest among men Socrates himself afterwards freely confest that his Diotima had taught him that Prudence which the Gods themselves had thus judg'd Incomparable It is not a little to the Advantage of that Woman to have instructed a Philosopher whose life was so full of Vertue and whose Morality agrees better with Christianity than any other And we cannot see more to this purpose either in Histories or Fables than experience daily shews to them who are willing to judge without Passion BUT IT IS NOT enough to prove that they are capable of this Vertue it is more Important to them to know the means to preserve it After we have seen how natural it is to them we must shew also how necessary it is too After we have shewn the excellency of it it will be good to examin its Use and Effects There is nothing then more true than this That Prudence and Fear are in a manner always inseparable And that as Rashness often puts the most able persons into great danger so Distrust sets the weakest in safety The Pallas of the Poets who ought to be an example of Wisdom to the Women was always armed to shew those of her Sex that it would be best for them to be every moment upon their Guard And that because they have so many Enemies they have always need to defend themselves The Women have no less cause to tremble like those that are covetous even at the shadow of a Reed that is for a very little matter Since they carry a Treasure that is very easie to be lost and very worthy to be preserv'd And certainly how deserving soever they may be she that is without Fear is as a Town without a Wall as easie to be taken as it is difficult to be kept I do not here speak of the fear of those that are distracted which is a much greater evil than any which that threatens them with But I speak of that wise Fear which proposes Misfortunes to us without hurting the temperament of the Body or the repose of the Conscience I do not at all design that Prudence should put us always in a fright There is a certain Path between Fear and Temerity which this Vertue shews that we may prevent or avoid the Misfortunes that are impending And in truth there are some that are too credulous or too distrustful there needs but a meer Phantome to fright them they fear as impertinently as they hope We may see their weakness no less in the credit they give to Good than in that they give to Evil And these both proceed from the same Error which is that they know not how to examin well either the one or the other Since Prudence shews the point of Mediocrity for other Vertues so it ought to shew in this what is the Excess or the Defect But not to dissemble it seems to me that Distrust is more often join'd with Wisdom than Credulity and that if the former is not more Reasonable yet at least 't is more Safe This Vertue appears no less in the chusing of Good than in the fear of Evil. And altho we see nothing more common at this day than bad Elections whether of Freindships or Fortune Prudence is that which repairs this Defect as it is particularly employ'd to deliberate and to chuse Without doubt a great many have need of this Vertue and they ought not to wonder if Repentance follows their Affections when Knowledge and Choice did not precede them When this is wanting to them these Affections of theirs are meerly Brutal their Conversations are Dangerous and their Confidences very Ill Assured In this as in every other occasion where a good Conduct is required there is a certain Consideration which must examine all the Circumstances of a Design And if Prudence is the Eye of the Soul this discretion or discerning of things is as the Apple of that Eye this is the Flower of that Plant the Point of that Arrow BUT TO EXAMINE one of the Principal Effects of this Vertue Commonly those Women that would seem to be Wise are not so at all The best Wits ought to conceal the secret Springs of their Conduct lest people should be cautious of confiding in them and lest they rather defend themselves against than rely upon them This is a Treasure that we may enjoy and use as long as we hide it like the Sepulchral Lamps of the Ancient Romans which would give light a long time if they remained under the Earth but go out of themselves as soon as they come to the Air. This great Ostentation is usually join'd with Levity of Mind And those Women that boast of so much Sufficiency very often have little of it They resemble those Apes who are never more truly and remarkably Beasts than when they are disguised under the Habits of Men. What Reason had the Holy Scripture to require the joyning of the Wisdom of the Serpent with the Simplicity of the Dove That the former might be without Poison the latter without Folly that the one might not deceive nor the other be deceiv'd In truth these are two Companions that ought always to be inseparable since the one of them mightily recommends the other And because Prudence may take the Charms of Simplicity to render it self the more Amiable and Simplicity may use the Conduct of Prudence to render it self the more assured And to speak rightly If Address without Honesty is nothing else but Wickedness Simplicity also without Prudence is nothing else but Folly Of the Learned Women I AM NOT ABLE to refrain from laughing when I think of the Error of Francis Duke of Britain who testified an extraordinary Passion for Isabella the Daughter of Scotland when he undestood that she was an utter Stranger to Study
only out of Inclination do affront us they do not love us at all for any Merit in us since very often they love before they know us and become amorous before they can well know whether we are amiable or not This is an effect of their Temper rather than Choice and in my Opinion we have no great Obligation to them for the doing that which they cannot hinder HAVING thus shown what there is of Good on of Evil in these two sorts of Amities it will be very easie to observe what will be the best life of them It is not necessary to divide but only to regulate them It is true that these are to our Minds like the two fansied Poles to the Heavens on which they turn these are the Poles of our Thoughts and Actions And as the one Pole of the Heavens is under our Feet while the other is elevated above our Heads so it seems fit that we have less regard to Inclination than to Election and this latter ought to serve us for a Star to guide our Love and Friendship by They say the Great Alexander had two Favourites whom he obliged after a very different fashion He lov'd Ephestion tenderly as the Companion of his Pleasures and Craterus strongly for the government of his Estate and Affairs As Emperour he esteem'd the one as Alexander he lov'd the other It is necessary to join these two sorts of Love together to make a perfect one lest Love being without Inclination be constrain'd or being without Election it be too Imprudent If there be no Consideration Love is without Conduct If there be no Sympathy in it 't is without much Pleasure and Sweetness In truth it seems as if these two Loves are in one Soul after the same manner that those two Twins of whom the Holy Scripture speaks were in the Womb of their Mother These are two Brothers of which the one is foremost in the Order of Nature but nevertheless he must not have the advantage of this The one is the more violent and impetuous the other is the more gentle and prudent And it is the unhappiness of our Minds as it was of their dying Father to encline more to the side of that love which is the more natural and which proceeds from Sympathy But as the Mother of Jacob gave him means to supplant his Brother iâ— ought also to be that reason should direct as how to regulate Inclination to the 〈◊〉 that Election may be the Mistress of it After all if any should demand of me the Rules that are most necessary to be observed in our Amity as well for the satisfaction of the Conscience as of the Mind in my Opinion there is no better than this To believe that our Affection is unjust whenever it is contrary to that we owe to God As the Ark was between the Cherubims so 't is necessary that God be present between two Hearts that mutually love This ought to be the Knot of our Loves that we may render them strong and reasonable And to say as that Reverend Bishop who has writ so Divinely on the Love of God Love is the more commendable on Earth by so much as it is the more like that which is between the Wise and Pure Inhabitants of Heaven Of the Complaisant or Pleasing Humour IT IS TRUE that there is nothing of more importance than to know the Art to Please and to make ones self beloved in all Companies As we have all an Inclination towards Society we ought to enquire after the means to succeed well in it and to gain the Affection and Esteem of those we meet when we are in Conversation or in Business It is true that among all the Qualities necessary to this there is not one that seems more requisite than Complaisance or Courteousness since without that all the other are without Gracefulness and are as it were dead But it is also very certain that the Use of this is very difficult Most easily does this offend either in Excess or Defect If it be not attended with a great deal of Judgment and Discretion then the Ladies that are too Complaisant pass for Loose or Affected and if they are not enough so they shall be thought to be Disdainful or Uncivil There is not less danger in receiving this than in giving it Those Ladies that render too much Complaisance are liable to be troublesome those that receive too much are in danger to be seduced There are those that will mingle Flattery with Complaisance to bring them into Error as Wine is mingled with Poison to draw down the deadly Draught There is therefore danger lest many should take the Poison for Food and lest they drink the Flattery while they think themselves receiving only a simple Complaisance Commonly the one of these is so strictly join'd to the other that there is need of a great deal of Prudence to be able to separate them And that we may the better succeed in this it seems to me convenient to examine in the first place what there is of Good or of Evil iâ— the Complaisant Humour to the end we may learn with the better method and the greater facility wherein the Use of this is allow'd or forbidden to us AS THE Complaisance which I must condemn is nothing else but the Art to deceive pleasantly it must be acknowledg'd that the most pernicious of its Effects are that it makes an appearance pass for truth and a feigned Friendship for a true one Those Spirits that are most dissembled constrain themselves to appear Genuine and Sincere to the end they may gain the Credit of Confidents and Friends But it is herein that their Artifice is discovered and it comes to be known that they have not that Freedom and Ingenuity they pretend to in that they over-act their Pretences to iâ— Though Patrâ—â—lus made use of all the Armour of Achilles and some of his Weapons yet he would not venture to use his Javeline because this was of such a sort as that Achilles alone was well able to manage it In like manner though a dissembled Person does take all the appearances of one that is Vertuous yet she should not dare to meddle with the pretence to Freeness or â—â—genuousness of Temper This is a quality that cannot possibly sit well upon her she cannot counterfeit Plaâ—â—ness without betraying that she wâ—â—â—â— it As the Câ—â—â—leons take all sorts of Colours from the things they lie upon excepting only the white so â—â—â—se disguised Souls will take all sorts of â—â—â—pes will appear under all forms of Countenance but after all their Artifice it will be always observ'd That it is impossible to serve themselves well of a pretence to Freedom and Candour As upon painted Faces we may commonly see both the Paint and the ugliness too so we may see at the same time upon the looks that are too Complaisant the plain traces of Dissimulation and Knavery The Ladies have but too much experience
of this as their Good nature renders them credulous so it does as often make them miserable What a deal of difficulty is there in Complaisance How much mischief does this carry iâ— it against others There is no Humour so wicked and ill with which this evil Complaisance will not testifie a Sympathy They â—eep with the Unfortunate they talk ill with the Slanderers they laugh with them that are pleased and rave with the Melancholy They know how to vilifie Vertue and to palliate Vice they have Ointments for all sorts of Wounds and Paint for all sorts of Faces To the end they may surprize and impose upon weak Minds they will make shew sometimes of reproving severely but their Censure is nothing but 〈◊〉 their Counsels have no 〈◊〉 as they have nothing of Sincerity or Truth To speak of them as they deserve we may say they resemble much the Hercule upon a Theatre who holds in his Hand a mighty Club but it is Hollow It is made but of Past-board and painted Cloth and may strike a Man without making a Wound and almost without making it self felt Certainly if the Holy Scripture calls the Complaisant Preachers by the name of Adulterers we may say the same of seeming and disguised Friends who do not speak so as to be useful to us but only that they may be agreeable who do not talk to do â—s a pleasure but to receive one from us Let a Man suffer himself to be enchanted as much as he will with the Complaisance of another and rely upon it and appear to do so yet he shall commonly find the Promises false and the appearances deceitful Those of this sort who make show of an Affection for all the World have indeed none for any body As we see nothing upon the Sepulchers of the greatest Princes but only Names and meer Titles of their Grandure so likewise the visages of these Persons carry as it were only the empty Names of Friends And as there is nothing to be found within those Gilded Tombs but only Dust or Rottenness so there is nothing but Treachery and Inconstancy under so Complaisant a Mien Let us elsewhere seek for truth and not please our selves with the embracing of a Phantasm This sort of wits are always somewhat selfish in their Designs they constantly follow Fortune and turn about with the Motion of her Wheel When Helioâ—â—balus commanded these fawning Flatterers to be tied to a Wheel and thrown into the Water he seemed to have a very right Opinion of them and to have condemned them to a very suitable punishment in making them to be cast into an Element of which they themselves have the pliableness and in tying them to a Wheel of which they have the Inconstancy It would be no wrong to them to compare them to the poor baffled Ixion who believe and rely upon these Complementers inasmuch as they experience that after all their Promises if they come to the proof of them they can find no effect in them they embrace in them but meer shaddows To embrace a Complaisant Person is to embrace a Cloud instead of a Juno HAVING thus taken Notice of a principal Effect of this Humour let us now observe one of the principal Marks of it The Complaisant aim at nothing but Ostentation and Show And as when we see the most Paint upon a Face we believe most largely of the Defects of it judging the height of the Malady by the Quantity of the Physick In like manner the more Study and Endeavour and the more Constraint we perceive in a Person 's Actions and Demeanour we may very well conclude we shall find in the same Proportion that their Designs are wicked and that the greatest Wickedness often seeks the fairest Mask for it's Disguise A Flatterer will make more Offers than a Friend and the false amity often glitters more than the true The Reason of this is not at all difficult to find It is because Art is more prodigal than Nature and Fiction than Truth Fiction willingly produces nothing but Appearances and Truth lays hold of nothing but Substance Men as well as Trees commonly bring forth more Leaves than Fruit and have a great deal more of Show than Effect The Art of Limning and that of Complementing do not much differ from each other both the one and the other employ themselves only about Colours and helabour nothing but Surfaces I do not at all think it strange to see the complaisant Persons prodigal of Complements a Man will be more liberal of Counters than of Angels and it costs a great deal less to gild the Statues which are made of Lead or Wood than to make them of solid Gold The most beautiful Roses have not the better Smell they that have so much of Colour have the less of Scent Nature her self divides her gifts and as if she were covetous or poor and feeble she seems to find a Difficulty is making the same thing very beautiful and very good We may say as much as this concerning the Truth and the Appearance of Friendship It is often found that the one is separated from the other and known that they who show so much Affection upon the Forehead have sometimes none in the Soul To speak the truth they are like those Cushions we lean upon that are on the out-side some costly Stuff perhaps but have nothing within them but only Chaff or Flocks These are Bats that fly not but in the Twilight that love neither the Day nor the Night but a third Season composed of both They are Peacocks which carry very lovely Feathers but have the Feet of a Thief the Head of a Serpent and the Yellings of the Devils They are Reeds that comply with every Wind and accomodate themselves to every Humour but they grow in the Mud they are weak and hollow they break under the Hand that leans upon them and wound it too COMPLAISANCE is not only Excessive but also Defective too and in both Cases Degenerates into Flattery It is Excessive in praising and Defective in reproving it speaks either too much or too little it equally abuses both Discourse and Silence It is like a Perspective that shows a thing great or little and sets it as at a distance or very near as one will It ascribes a great deal to the least Vertues it takes much away from the greatest Crimes it laughs and it weeps when it pleases and Aristotle says it is no less excessive in Pretences to pity than to Love There is no sort of Part but it can act Now it shall be defending Vice afterwards it shall be accusing Vertue One while it gives beautiful Names to things that are most ugly calling Rashness Courage Covetousness Thrist and good Huswifry Impudence a good Humour and then turning up the reverse of the Medal it will give the most infamous Titles to that which is highly commendable calling Eloquence Babling Modesty Foolishness and an ingenuous Freedom Insolence It