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A43613 The ceremony-monger his character in five chapters ... with some remarks (in the introduction) upon the new-star-chamber, or late course of the Court of King's Bench, of the nature of a libel, and scandalum magnatum, and in conclusion, hinting at some mathematical untruths and escapes in the common-prayer book, both as to doctrine and discipline, and what bishops, were, are, and should be, and concerning ordination, humbly proposed to the consideration of the Parliament / by E. Hickeringill ... Hickeringill, Edmund, 1631-1708. 1689 (1689) Wing H1799; ESTC R20364 90,871 81

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Rule blows will never cure his Blindness Besides Uniformity is an unnatural impossible and therefore an irrational wicked and vain attempt Go teach God to make a new Heaven with Uniformity of Stars and Skies spangled uniformly they are now all of different Forms and Features Go reach him to make Men uniform they are all now of different Forms and Features Go teach him to make a new Earth and set a new Face on it The Landskip now looks so much the more lovely by the Variety which God and Nature seems to delight in And wilt thou thou silly Ceremony monger and Projector be wiser than God If thou hadst seen our blessed Saviour sometimes stand and pray sometimes kneel and pray sometimes ly on a Bed or Couch and eat the Holy Supper sometimes fall on his Face and pray if thou hadst seen this variety thou wouldst have Excommunicated him then caplass'd and jalled him if thy fierceness had not kick't him and spurn'd him up hadst thou but had an Act of Uniformity to back thee We are bound to honour God with our Substance In Works of Charity the greatest Duty but how much when and how in particular is left to the discretion and liberty of every Man no rule of Imposition is or can be made about it We are obliged to honour God with our Bodies the least thing in true Worship for bodily Exercise profiteth little but how much when and how in particular is lest to the discretion and liberty of every Man no Rule of Imposition is or can be made about it Then you 'l say the Church of England was mistaken in one of her XXXIX Articles that says The Church has power to appoint Ceremonies And also the King and Parliament were mistaken in the Act of Uniformity that enjoint all Bishops and Clergy-men on pain of Deprivation to subscribe assent and consent to all and every thing as true which is contained in the Common-Prayer Book Here is a heavy Charge Convocation-House and Parliament-House both upon my back but come one at once and I 'le deal with them both one after another as well and as fast as I can First then I say in general that any Decree under Heaven that is either unlawful or Impossible to be obeyed is not at all Obligatory This is so plain that it needs no further Proof it is like the Light of the Sun self-evident if the Sun shine no man doubts it but he that is blind or winks on purpose lest he should be convinc'd And as to that Article viz. The Church has power to enjoin Ceremonies it confounds all the Ceremony-mongers amongst us And in all my Travels Reading and Discourses I never met with any Man Bishop Priest or Lay-man that ever did could or durst explain what is there meant by Church If it be taken for the Clergy either in or out of Convocation or Synod viz. That they have of themselves a Jus Divinum a Divine Right to enjoin Ceremonies to the People of England they all incur a Praemunire that claim such a Power and justly for they there by set up a Legislative power independent of and distinct from the King and Parliament the only Legislators and is of most pernicious Consequence and found to be so in all Ages And by the Statutes of Provisors made both by Popish and Protestant Kings and Parliaments condemn'd as most pernicious and insufferable by invading the only Legislative power Kings Lords and Commons the great Fundamental of our Government and setting up a Thing called A Church independent of and equal with or above the State and bearding the State if it be so bold as not to please them or should dare to displease them Better it is not to be a State than to be such a pitiful State at this precarious rate that dare not but be Priest-ridden Our Noble Ancestors in Popish Times scorn'd the motion and were true English Men This distinction of Church and State is a Popish and pernicious distinction two higher powers is one too much But if by the Church in that Article be meant the King and Parliament the Representatives of the whole Body of the people the Convocation and Canon-makers will by no means acknowledge that for that makes them Cyphers and as many people account them useless Tools And never did King and Parliament neither make Laws coercive in matters of Religion or Uniformity in Religion but Confusion Divisions Schisms Tumults Sedicion Blood Ruine and civil Wars were the dismal consequences in England whereas there would be none of these no dissentions no penalties no complaining in our Streets if the Legislative power unsuborned by Priest-craft make no Laws but what are proper for their cognizance and for the peace welfare good manners and good abearing in the State And then where there is no Law there can be no Transgression and those odious Names of Dissention and Sedition Conformist and Nonconformist will find an eternal Grave I 'le give but one Instance in that same Act of Uniformity which requires all Clergy-men to give their assent and consent to all and every thing for Truth which is contained in the Common-prayer Book But who made the Kings and Parliaments of England infallible Popes since the Church of England confesses she may Err And how irrational and unaccountable is it for men that confess their ignorance and yet with the same mouth will vote a Law or Imposition of their Sense in Religion upon all Mankind under their Jurisdiction For ought they know they may command and enact that all Clergy-men shal assent in their Judgments and consent in their Wills to a palpable error lie or untruth or else take their choice to starve lie down and die for Farm they may not Thrash they cannot and if they Beg they are sent to Bridewel And this is our very case this day We may not chuse what Chapters for Lessons what Collects Epistles and Gospels we list to read but must read those that are appointed for the day And the last year they were all falsly appointed or else those words in the Common-prayer Book are false that fixes and ascertains Easter Sunday the Aera or beginning of the Account whence all the Lessons Collects Episties and Gospels are computed nominated and appointed But that is not only silly and uncertain but false and contradictory in the Common-prayer book and therefore both the said Aera's cannot be true As for example by one Common-prayer Book Rule the last Easter Sunday should have been kept upon April 8 because Easter Sunday whence all other Feasts Lessons Collects are computed all the year after is always the first Sunday next after the first Full Moon which happens after March 25 which was April 8 last past But by another Rule in the Common prayer Book it was and so we kept it upon April 15 last past They cannot both be true but one of them is a Mathematical untruth and which no body can deny yet Bishops and
Church as well as the better half of the Kingdom and consequently has made the Church so little so schismatical so divided and therefore weak dull and dark as being so mainly dedicated to the spurious and irrational Whimsies of his Ecclesiastical Noddle and Invention But how Nonsensical soever his Whimsies are he has made true steps thereon sometimes to mount to the Pinnacles of the Temple and there secure as well as engross the Honours and Priviledges of the Church as a Monopoly to himself if possible and to the Men of his scantling and little way Have we not the like Con●●lsions in 1●89 a● in 1639 both in Church and State and from a like Cause too The then Star-chamber was reviv'd in the late King's Bench and the High-Commission Court sat again in the Council Chamber the Popish like Ceremony-monger has again debauch'● the Virgin Purity of Primitive Religion and ravish't her mo●● impudently in the very Church where we that have se●n both the Years 39 and 89 may well be affrighted to see the Ghost of little Doctor Laud that occasion'd the Commotions of Civil War first in Sco●land afterwards in England now again to our great astonishment to walk in the Church I have done my endeavour to lay the Ghost and charm it down let it go to Rome its birth●place what does it do here in a Protestant Church where if my Ceremony-monger Sin before all Rebuke before all nay rebuke them sharply saith St. Paul 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 cuttingly The Corruptions are great and deeply impo●humated a Gangreen may well be feared and if I have with sharp and cu●●ing Words sometimes gone to the very bottom of the Sore why should they roar so 't is but to let out the Filth my Ceremony-monger will thank me if he overlive his Ulcer was it ever before now drest to the bottom They 'l say my Style bites Yes truly I have made a File of it for the very nonce to file off the Rost of an Iron Ag● I have lent a hand to polish it Let them call it an Incision Knife a File or what they will a Besom if they please I care not so it do but help to sweep down the Futile and frail Church Cobwebs though they hang aloft And tho I have anointed my Incision-Ka●●e with Weapon Salve to cure as it cuts yet I But as Bellarmine in a far it is but wise foresight to ●eek some noble Shelter and where better than under Your Lordship's Patronage and Protection To which I might make some remote and modest Title by Consanguinity for no Man was ever counted Vain or Arrogant in making claim to his Bl●th right one half of the Blood in my Veins my Mother ●●ing a Troutbeck is lineally descended and derived from the Noble Blood of the Trout●eeks the Autient Earls of Shrewsbury whence you derive half of your Noble Blood and all your Noble Title But as ●ellarmine in a far greater Case having writ several Treatises of the Merit of Goods Works concludes that in reference to the Soul's Salvation The best Title is Free Grace so in this far Inferiour Case to protect and save this little Treatise from the desperate Assaults of devilish and wicked Men by your Noble Patronage The best Title I can make to it is your own Free-Grace and Generous Goodness which be pleased to vouchsafe to My LORD Your Lordship 's most devoted Servant and Admirer E. Hickeringill The INTRODUCTION AS Black as my Ceremony-monger is here describ'd he is neither Moor nor Tawny-Moor Infidel nor Jew but a Protestant-profess'd he may be a Papist or worse an Atheist in Masquera●e but his Face is Protestant I grant that I have Censur'd Condemn'd and Hang'd him up in Effigie yet I have drawn no Blood done hurt to none for my Man is a Man of Clouts a Man in the Clouds a meer Individuum Vagum so that no Man alive can be offended because let his Guilt be never so great in being like my Whiffler-Ecclesisstical though ●e●●ip him to the very Heart and fly in so much influance the Throne come thither and make him blush yet he is as sate as a Thief in a Miln except he come into Court and confess himself to be the Man which is here for his guilt Expos'd and Sentenc'd If the Fool Confess he must Suffer like that silly Wit-all who shal he nameless and not being content to be a Cuckold he must needs Wind his Horn and Proclaim his own shame in open Court by good Evidence and so he remains a Cuckold upon Record like the silly Snall who had never been taken for a Cornudo or Horn'd-Brute if he himself had not thrust out his own Horns If such Disasters behappen a Wise Man his Wisest way is to make no Words on 't but to cover the shame as decently as may be and put his Horns in his Pocket This Brute with his Irrational Ceremonies should belong to a Protestant Church and Constitution but like an out-lying Deer which are usually the ●ustiest and fattest of all the Brutish Herd has through Wantonness or greedy Ravage broke out of the Pale of the Church where if he would be content to keep 〈◊〉 would be safer for him and my design is in pure Love and Kindness to his Welfare thus gently to Hunt him Home and so he will acknowledge it surely But what Gratitude can a Man in Reason expect from a Brute who hears no Reason but is guided by furious Passion and Appetite And I deny not but that he may owe much of the Flesh on his Back ●o his Rambling after Popish like Ceremonies when Popery did so much influance the Throne in the happy days of the two Castle-mains and Fa●her Peter who not being able to bring in Popery Bare-fac'd therefore the Quid pro Quo the something like it and near it must be countenanc'd ●d preferr'd And my Ceremony-Monger is now as loth to depart with ●em his Dear dear Silly and Illegal Ceremonies for old Acquain●nce-sake as with his old Dog or old Horse that though past Service yet ●e retains them for old Kindness and old done Deeds And yet they are such as neither the Laws of God nor Man ever made ●d therefore must be Condemn'd and Executed if brought to the Bar of ●ly Writ and right Reason At which Bar no Man has a better Commission of Oyer and Terminer to ●raign and Judge him than my self as being lawfully into the Sacred ●der of Priest-hood Ordain'd and the Holy Bible then put into my ●nds by the Learned Saunderson then Bishop of Lincoln and now I ●bt not a Saint in Heaven though he was Nick-nam'd the Presbyterian an Bishop and of a Captain both perswaded me and made me a Priest saying Take thou Anthority to preach the Gospel There 's my Commission and let any Man Pope or Bishop shew a patent more Authentick to Teach all Nations and I will never Preach nor Writ Divinity hereafter but there are but
thought the good Woman was Drunk or a Fool to talk to her self but she designed only private prayer But certainly the Master of the Ceremonies is either a Fop or a Mad-man or else takes all the People for a Fop of his own making to have only a handsome gaze at the person whilst he Acts his Mammery in the pulpit Why does the pulpit stand alost But that the preacher should lift his Voice like a Trumpet that all the Church may hear or else what does he do there The papists indeed do vindicate pictures in Churches as being the Lay-man's History though he know not a Letter in the Book his Eyes may read by seeing a picture and thus my Ceremony-monger brings up his Fops in Ignorance and Ignorant Devotion they know nothing of the matter and cannot say Amen to they do not know what It is no matter for that for just like popish Mass called Secreta which the priest mumbles to himself so our Foppish Ceremony-monger that must be like a popish pri●st or else perhaps he had never come to so high a pulpit and place in the Church he must mumble too his prayers though in pulpit to himself because 't is just as the popish priests do that make as if the people need not pray nor believe the priest prays for them and believes for them keep them blind says the priest and then you may lead them by the Nose which way you please O poor English Fops To be fopt by an Old Fop that is as much or more an Hypocritical Knave than a Fool. And I am the more apt to believe it now because the mumbling Hypocrites never mumbled so much and so long in the pulpit-prayer before Sermon as now a days in this Juncture and Revolution in the Kingdom and change in the Throne to pray for the Abdicated King would be to own him and Popery with his Mouth but he dare not do that they have only his heart at present And to pray for their Sacred Majestle's our Soveraign Lord and Lady King William and Queen Mary they are such Strangers to his Heart that he chuses rather not to pray at all in his own prayer before Sermon or not at all to be heard till such time as it may be guess'd he had done it to himself talking as they say Witches do to himself in the Pulpit most prophanely mocking God and the People by pretending to speak when he only mumbles with his Lips for if his Voice be heard the crafty Hypocrite thinks that some Body will tell because the Tongue tells who he is for Where as now the Fox lies learing and lurching to see which King will get the better and then and not till then he will declare himself and in the Interim his Ambo-dexter reserves himself for he is true to no Interest nor to any Religion but that which most tends to the Advancement of his only God Mammon and his Curate only runs the Risque in praying for King William and Queen Mary In short for I am quite tired and sick of him his Church-Work is just like his Church-Clock moved extraneously by outward Weights Wheels Springs or Plummets but has no inward or spiritual Life or Motion such is his prayers such his Sermons though he have a Budget-full Dead Dull spiritless lifeless frigid and perfunctory Devotion he never converts any Man except to silly Ceremonses Because himself is not converted to any thing else his Words die before they reach the Heart of his Hearers for how can they well come to the Heart of his Auditors when they never came in nor from his own Head nor Heart he is the great Stock-Logg of the Church that has neither Fire nor heat within the little he has is all out-side superficial and without it takes up a great deal of Rome indeed but 't is good for nothing in the World but the dung-hil he is that Salt that has quite lost it's Savour if over he had any and good for nothing but to be troden under Foot of Men and relish'd by none but such as have lost their Taste or never had any I 'll tell you how you may be quit of this Ecclesiastical Copy-holder all his Tenure and Title to the Pulplt is Copy-hold get but his Notes or his Copies from him and the Pulpit will not hold him he must come down and hire a Journey Man of more Skill if any such can be had for Money so to debase himself to be Surrogate to a rich Fop that with his silk Cassock and Scarlet Hood runs away with the Galm whilst poor Thred-bare Crape takes all the pains Yet even these are scarce to be had for Love or Money for the Ceremony-monger has so polluted the Fountain of Learning the Universities that where shall a man sooner meet with noysie Impudence and gingling Nonsence a sounding Brass and rinckling Cymbal than in the two great St. Maries Pulpits in the Universitiis So that if God be not the more merciful and Their Sacred Majesties the more careful of their Academies the generality of the Clergy must be like the Scribes and Pharisees in our Saviour's time painted Sepulchres Gay without fine Ornaments without but within nothing but Rottenness and dead Men's Boues Just as we were in the Church of England I remember fifty years ago in the Reign of that great Master of Ceremonies little Doctor Laud that did so discountenance lively and edifying Sermons or almost any Sermons that a Man must have travell'd for it and far too if he heard any thing but the Common prayer and Organs above four times in a Year Indeed now there is to many Sermons in Print that we have plenty in the Pulpit though generally such discrepant Heterogeneous and Immethodical Stuff as being compos'd of several printed Sermons a patch here and a patch there describ'd that they are like a Beggars Coat or a Tallor's Cloak bag made up of party-colour'd Lists and Parches they are so dis-compos'd by the Plagiary in wise Prudence like a Thief that takes By-Roads for fear of being known pursued sound out and taken by the Hue and Cry. Therefore this Plagiary Reader conscious of Guilt disguises all discovery if possible like the crafty Hare that makes false Steps and Doubles in the Snow when she is near her form for fear of being track'd by her Steps and Trac'd Thus this Chattering Jay has nothing good about him but the Gay Feathers his Carcase is worth nothing but to Dung the Land so that the Church you see can breed Vermine as well as the Barn. CHAP. IV. Of Reading of the Psalms Te Deum Althanasius's Creed c. Alternately every other Verse by the People THis is such another Nonsensical Ceremony that it is Point-blank against Holy Scripture as well as against Reason and edification and neither Canon of the Church nor Rubrick or Rule in the Common-Prayer Book to vouch it and punishable therefore by the Act of Uniformity If so then where
all Languages As Mat. 1.21 Thou shalt call his Name Jehoshua Joshua or Jesu all one Hebrew word Besides That Holy Text doth not say in the Name Joshua but in the Name of Joshua 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 but my Ceremony-Moneer does not bow at the proper Name of our 〈◊〉 or Joshua to wit Emmanuel or God with us which 〈◊〉 both his ●ivinity and Humanity nor at the found of the word Christ Messiah c. but stands as unconcern'd and as 〈◊〉 as a Stake Besides he does not how the Knee but like the Papists nods his Head or puts off his Cap or Hat as the Popish Jesuites do when they Preach every time they mention the word Jesu if they do not forget which they commonly do and as commonly Sin if that Foppery be a Duty Besides That Text says Every Knee shall bow in Heaven and Earth and under the Earth but there are no Knees in Heaven and those in Graves in the Earth and under the Earth are too stiff to how Come 't is Nou sense and Ridiculous all over and as a very Specimen of my Fop as any other For as there is no Scripture to Vouch for him so no Reason What shal Christians be like that Hystaron Proteron Herb. which Physicians as toolishly call Filius ante Patrem The Son before the Father Do we well to blame the Arrians for placing the Father above the Son Do we well to believe the Unity and Equality of the Holy Trinity And yet do we bow at the Name of the Second and not at the Name of the First and Third Person of the Holy Trinity Nay Is Christ divided do we pay more Reverence to the Name Joshua the N●me of my Foot Boy then to the Holy Name of Jesu namely Messia Christ or Emmanuel For shame do not pretend a reason for such Foppish Adoration And if neither Holy Writ nor right R●ason be of thy side Mr. Ceremony-Monger thy Canon will be noll'd by the Statutes the Acts of Uniform●●y that makes it very Penal even deprivation 〈◊〉 for thee to follow thy Trade of making Coremor●es which God never made nor the King and Parliament or right reason ever made Besides there are several 〈◊〉 of Provisors and then he incures also a Prem●ire to set up the Mi●re above the Crown the Bishop and Priest above the King and the Convecation-house above westminster-hall And this Sawey and Priestly Petulaney deriv'd from Rome makes my Ceremony-monger many times very troublesome to the State and to the Crown which he will obey like Thomas a Beck●t with a salvo honore Dei that is many times as far as he list and when he list or in any thing that is for his own ends and his own honour nor a jot further of which I shall give no late instances here of those that could strain at a G●at when against their Interest though for and against Gods glory and yet could swallow a Camel if sent from that Court if it would but advance their Dominion and sway or at least not hinder it witnesses their publishing in Churches the Sports that may be used on the Lords Day c. when this Spirit possesses my Ceremony-monger he is not only troublesome but dangerous and insufferable which will make me repeat some o● my own Speech Printed Anno 1681. p. 3.4 In Vindication of my Book called the naked Truth though I am no Erastian concerning the Keys the the Keys of the Church which some said was true but unseasonably urg'd surely 't is now seasonable what was then said to the Arch-deacon viz. And first like a Churchman of the old stamp he will permit his Majesty to come into the Church that 's more kindness than old St. Ambrose Bishop of Milan would show sometimes to the great Emperour Theodosius when he did not do as he would have him to do nay this Arch-deacon opens the doors himself to let his Majesty into the Church but he will nor trust him with the Keys as who should say we will open the Church doors to your Majesty and come in and welcome whilst we continue good friends But they that keep the Keys and can open the Church-doors to let his Majesty in can also whilst we have the keeping of the Keys upon displeasure lock him out well for this very trick and for another late Scotch trick it I were a Privy Councellour I would advise his Majesty as Head of the Church and the Governour thereof to keep the Keys of the Church in his Pocket or hang them under his Girdle if it be but because this Prclatical Champion this same pitiful Arch-deacon like another Pope or Sr. Peter w●●● keep the Keys of the Church and will keep his Majesty from them and we would f●●● perswade him that our Laws to use his words p. 2. of the Proeme Excludes the purely Spiritual Power of the Keys from the Supremacy of our Kings except it be to see that Spiritual Men do their Duty the 〈◊〉 Belike this same Arch-deacon carries the Leges Angi● the Laws of England in his belly and greedy gut for I am su● he carries the● 〈◊〉 or no where he carries not these bulky L●ws of England in his 〈…〉 no gues in his brains For I pray Good D D. where goes our Laws 〈…〉 ●urely Spiritual Power of the Keys from the Soptemacy of our Kings if our Kings ●ke good King David or wh● King Soloman shou● have a mind to be ●cclesia●tes In the days even of Popery I never heard of a King shut our even from the Topp●n-Pulpit if he had a mind to climb so high stone Henry the 3d. made 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 ●he Pulpit took his Text Psal 85.10 Righteousness and Peace have kiss d●each other and then in his Sermon ad Cierum to the Le●rned M●ks of the Cathedral Church of Winchester when he had a little self end too as some Pulpiteers have also had in the case namely to C●jole the said Monks to Elect his Brother Athelmar Bishop of Winchester Paraphrasing and enlarging upon his Text and saying to use his own words 〈…〉 To me and other Kings who are to govern the people belongs the rigour of Judgment and Justice to you who are men of quiet and Religion Peace and Tranquillity And this day I hear you have for your own good been savourable to my requ●● With many such like words I do not know whether the King had got a License to Preach from a Bishop It seems the Clergy then too would favour Kings in what was for their own good and if it were for their own good would also permit the King to take a Text and preach in their Cathedral Church how hard hearted or strait-lac't soever our Archdean proves and will not suffer our Kings to have the Keys neither of the Church nor Pulpit I say therefore some Kings would therefore keep the Keys of the Church themselves and trust never a D. D. of them