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A29785 Physick lies a bleeding, or, The apothecary turned doctor a comedy, acted every day in most apothecaries shops in London : and more especially to be seen by those who are willing to be cheated, the first of April, every year : absolutely necessary for all persons that are sick, or may be sick / by Tho. Brown. Brown, Thomas, 1663-1704. 1697 (1697) Wing B5068; ESTC R36385 19,706 33

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Physick lies a Bleeding OR THE APOTHECARY turned DOCTOR A COMEDY Acted every Day in most Apothecaries Shops in LONDON And more especially to be seen by Those who are willing to be cheated the First of April every Year Absolutely necessary for all Persons that are Sick or may be Sick Vmbricius Artibus inquit Honestis Nullus in urbe locus nulla emolumenta laborum Vbi Pharmacopola est Grammaticus Rhetor Geometres Pictor Aliptes Augur Schenobates Medicus Magus Juv. Sat. 3. By THO. BROWN London Printed for E. Whitlock near Stationers-Hall 1697 The Names of the Principal Actors Iohn Galen Dr. of Physick and Fellow of the Royal College of Physicians London Tom Gallypot An Apothecary by Trade but practises Physick as a Doctor near Garden Lancet Pestle An Apothecary by Profession but boldly undertakes to be a Physician and Surgeon also to all his Patients that want the Assistance of either living in Market Retorto Spatula d' Vlceroso An Apothecary in Lane but pretends to be a great Doctor Surgeon and Chymist valuing himself much upon his Foreign Birth and Education Iack Comprehensive An Apothecary living in street who professes himself only to be a Doctor Surgeon Chymist Druggist Distiller Confectioner and on occasion Corn-cutter c. Trueman A Gentleman of honest Principles endeavouring to shew each Person their Faults and perswading them to act in their own Sphere only Messengers Glyster-Pipes Mortars Saws Forceps's Boxes Bolt-Heads Crucibles c. and other Attendants The SCENE Apothecaries Hall The Epistle Dedicatory to that Worthy and Ingenious Gentleman Dr. J. B. Doctor I Am heartily glad that a Person of your Learning and Parts has taken up the Cudgels against the whole College of Physicians and notwithstanding your great Modesty have set your Face against so Learned and Ingenious a Society I must confess I have a prety good stock of Confidence my self and perhaps dare attack any single Person whatever nay even Mr. Bays himself but to attack such a Body of Men of Learning and Sense I must yield is a Task only fit for your Management who I dare boldly say can rail as bluntly as any Oyster-Wench at Billingsgate Therefore as you have began to make 'um appear a parcel of Sots and perjured Villains as your witty Queries seem to import I beg the Favour of you to go on without any Consideration as you have done already and perhaps in time you may prove 'um all Whores and Rogues Vagabonds Persons that had neither Fathers or Mothers and what not For if any can prove it I believe it must be you no Body else daring to attempt to prove Matters of so great Consequence because they want your Learning and Knowledg to go through with it Take only this Caution Dear Doctor in the Management of your Affairs Let not the Multitude of Business distract your Regular Thoughts your Head being a little out of order sometime lest you grow apt to forget what you have said of 'um before and as you have in the Lump call'd 'um a parcel of Perjur'd Villians so don't publickly talk and say that the're about 10 or 12 Honest Fellows amongst ' um This w'ont do my Friend to say they are all Rogues and some of that All are honest Men is a little Illogical neither doth it savour much of an University Education thô it may suit well enough perhaps with Yours The Irish Evidence that ignorantly swore a Person of Quality into the Popish Plot thought he could make no juster Retaliation to him than by swearing of him out again Now if you intend to follow the steps of this worthy Evidence and as you have stigmatized the Fellows of the College with abundance of hard Names so to make 'um amends you will endeavour to give 'um as good Characters as Moral Honesty and Christianity obliges you to do I think you propose a fair method of Reconciliation and perhaps even against their own Inclinations out of meer Compassion and not respect to your Merit they may vouchsafe to admit you into their Society This Advice my Friend I think is very seasonable and were I a Member of the Colledge I would endeavour all I could to procure your Admittance upon your Submission but if you will still continue in an obstinate and perverse Humour of railing I think you will justly forfeit that good Opinion which Indifferent Judges have of the Hardship of your Case if any such there were and be fit only to be bray'd in that necessary Instrument of your former Profession a Mortar These are the real Sentiments of Your Loving friend T. B. Physick lies a Bleeding OR The Apothecary turn'd Doctor c. ACT I. SCENE I. Enter Dr. Galen and Trueman Trueman DOctor Good Morrow What News do you hear about the Plot who are taken up who are Evidences are there any Persons of Quality concern'd in it d' ye hear Dr. Galen I mind no Plots not I but a Plot to get good store of Patients if I can but I think they never were so Healthy Tr. So what you seem to speak a little concern'd and look as if something had vexed you what 's the Matter Doctor Dr. Matter Let me tell you Mr. Trueman I have been a Physician in London almost Forty Years and I never knew so little Business to do in all my Life-Time 'T is a Damnable Healthy Town grown since I knew it first I have known the Time when I could go out and pick up 10 or 12 l. in a Morning come Home to Dinner and empty'd so out again after to Replenish But I am sure the Times now are so hard that if my good Father had not conveniently step'd aside I could no more have brag'd of living by my Wit as some Men do than the D s of N can of her Chastity Tr. Pray Doctor not too severe Why Damnable Healthy Do you wish the Nation a Plague or an Epidemick Sickness purely to promote your own private Interest Such Expressions methinks become not Men of your Education nor indeed savour much of Religion Dr. What do you talk of that to a Physician I thought you had known the World better than so Is not every Body for their own Interest be Religion what it will Do's not the greatest Pretenders to Holiness cheat with Yea and Nay as oft if not oftner as he that says Dam me it cost me so much when he knows that he Lies at the same time he Swears and all this to promote a Trade All the Excuse being a Man must live Customers always expect some Abatement of what we ask Nay I have known an Apothecary set down 4 s. 6 d. for a Specifick Bolus when it has been about a Farthing-worth of Crabs-Eyes in a little London-Treacle Tr. Ay Doctor that may be That 's 4 s. for the Word Specifick and 6 d. for the Bolus Pretty cheap on my Word But this is not to the purpose to explain what you mean by Damnable Healthy Dr. Why Sir are you