neuer be that any vniting onely of flesh and blood should haue found a dispensation from that Law that bindeth mind and conscience Honour thy father and thy mother Exod. 20.12 The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife signifieth vnto vs that most holy Coniunction of vs and Christ with his Church Ephes 5.25 Seeing that this is a Coniunction both of body and soule then such as are christian parents ought to bee carefull that their children may reioyce in it How should that marriage speed well when the bridegrome marrieth such one as to whoÌ„ hee may not say God speed because she is none of Gods friends 2 Iob. 10. 1. Cor. 7.39 But how doe they marrie in the Lord who do marrie the Lords enemies howsoeuer it liketh other to marrie their children yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues that they may knit their minds in religion where they make their bodies one that so their marriage may bee to them as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ Saint Paul giueth this generall rule to all that will marrie that they marrie in the Lord. And to marrie onely in the Lord is not to be led by flesh and blood with fauour credit honour friendship riches or beautie but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God and in the fellowship of the Church of Christ where true christians liue by one faith professe one religion and serue one God Now let vs a little call to our remembrance what fruit such vnequal marriages haue brought forth froÌ„ the beginning The sonnes of God Gen. 6.2.11 As the Iewes might not marrie with the Chananites so christians may not marrie with them which are like Chananites Gen. 24.3 and 28.1 Mal. 2.11 Ezra 9.12 saw the daughters of men that they were faire they tooke them wiues of all that they liked This aduenturous marriage in strange religion did so infect the world that all flesh had corrupted his wayes For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse law vnto the people of Israel as touching all the Inhabitants of the land of Canaan Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes Deut. 72.3 4. Exo. 34.16 Surely they will turne away thy heart 1. Kin. 11.2 Ezra 9.1.2 c. and 10.1.2 c. reade the places We may not here thinke that this inhibitioÌ„ serueth now vnto vs as touching Pagans Turkes or Infidels but rather we must assure our selues in the trueth and know that no people in the world are more within the coÌ„passe of this law theÌ„ the papist superstitious idolater The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters If adulterie may separate marriage shal not idolatrie hinder marriage which is worse then it and such as are of a strange religion And how can he then permit that wee should marrie with them He commandeth straightly that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing 2. Cor. 6.14 which to doe is as vnseemely as an oxe and an asse to be yoked togither to plough Deut. 22.10 And how can wee possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull We are charged To offer vp our bodies a linely a holy and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God Rom. 12.1 But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists wee then shall make them one flesh with the Papists and then we may be sure that no corrupt sacrifice can bee a sweet smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God Parents may not giue their daughters to a man vnsanctified Gen. 34.14 Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider that the strengthning and constant standing in religion of their children is onely of God and from God and not of themselues and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously and thinke they are so well grounded setled therein that they cannot bee remoued and drawne froÌ„ their sound profession yet they must beware that they doe not tempt God venture their children to walke in that way which so many haue fallen in How can they assure themselues that their children shall abide constant and stand vpright if they shall consent that they may couple themselues in Marriage with Papists Sampson was borne by Gods promise consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death made Iudge of Israel a Deliuerer of Gods Church and a Reuenger of his enemies very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him that it should be continued yet when he would attempt to marrie one of a strange religion he lost his honour and became a laughing stocke vnto the enemies of God Iudg. the fourteenth Chapter and first verse c. and 16.4.17.18 c. Salomon was a wise man Miserable is that man which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion as euer was any before him or after him God had indued him with heauenly gifts and had set him vp as a figure of his Sonne Christ yet when he had married with Pharaohs daughter a woman of another religion and a stranger from the Common-wealth of Israel he then fell from worse to worse till at the last hee became a miserable Idolater 1. King 11.4 What was the cause that Ahab King of Israel did worse then all the Kings before him He feareth not sinne which doth not shun occasions he is worthy to be snared which leadeth himselfe into temptation â—o maketh a trap for himselfe Luke 11.4 a man euen sold to worke wickednes in the sight of the Lord aboue all his idolatries and walking in the most wretched wayes of Jeroboam the Scripture layeth this to his charge euen as his greatest sinne that he tooke the daughter of the King of the Sidonians to his wife 1. King 16.28 29 30 31. And least such parents as either haue or hereafter shall marrie their children to Papists should thinke their case to bee better then his because though they marrie theÌ„ to Papists or to Atheists yet they doe not marrie them to any Pagans The wife must be meet as God said Gen. 2.18 But how is she meet if the husband be a Christian and she a Papist Let them consider what the Scripture teacheth them more Iehoram king of Iudah hee maried neither with any Sidonian nor Egyptian neither with Pagan nor Infidell but with one of his owne people and of the Tribe of Israel yet because she had corrupted her religion in her fathers house the Scripture sheweth this to be the cause of all Iehorams sin He did euil in the sight of the Lord because the daughter of Ahab was his wife 2. King 8.18 Yea the Scripture maketh this sin so great that Iehosophat a good king was yet defiled with it and it is reported as a great blemish of his vertuous doings that euer he suffered his sonne
looke to their households that they should serue God with them and did constantly performe it that then they had no seruants at all Was so great a man as Iehosua without seruants when hee promised before so many witnesses that he his house wold serue the Lord Was Dauid left alone and constrained to doe all himselfe when as being a mighty King hee bound himselfe vnto it by that song which he made for the same purpose wherein hee saith Mine eyes shal be vnto the faithfull of the land that they may dwell with me Psal 101.6 7. he that walketh in a perfect way he shall serue me there shall no deceitfull person dwel in mine house he that telleth lyes shall not remaine in my sight Had not Abraham a great household Gen. 14.14 when hee was able of the sudden to carrie forth with him of theÌ„ that were borne brought vp in his house three huÌ„dred and eighteene men in armour to rescue his brother Lot Of whom notwithstanding it is said that he would teach his household the way of the Lord. As it appeareth he did indeed wheÌ„ by his only perswasion at the word of God â—hap 18.12 All the males were contented to be circumcised and to receiue that Sacrament vnknowne before and painful also ignominious to the flesh if they had looked only to the outward signe and must not that worthy Captaine of an hundred ItaliaÌ„ souldiers needs haue a greater family theÌ„ many of these that cauill at this doctrine of whom the spirit of trueth reporteth That hee feared God Act. 10.2 and all his household Obiection What shall wee thinke of all these men Shall we ignorantly presume to the further deceiuing of our selues and hardening vs in this sinne that the times were then better good seruantes were more plentifull Or must wee needes confesse as the trueth is indeede Answere that these men vsed more meanes to make their seruants the seruants of God then men doe now adaies and that so the blessing of God was greater vpon them And is it not set downe in writing for our learning to shewe vs what is that which we might looke for at Gods hands if we would walke in the same way that they did seeing there is no respect of persons times or places with him Secondly hee must set an order in his house for the seruice of God to witte that morning and euening before meales and after meales prayers and thankes may bee made vnto God and so hee acknowledged to bee the authour not only of all spiritual graces that belong to a better life but also of al temporal blessings that belong to this life for seeing that it is Gods good hand ouer vs that doth defend vs and all our family in the night froÌ„ outward dangers and giueth vs freedome from feares and terrors and from Sathans rage and also giueth vs rest and comfortable sleepe for the refreshing of our fraile bodies is it not meete wee should begge it at his hand by prayer before we prepare our selues to rest and praise him for it when wee rise from it Againe seeing that euery day we are subiect to innumerable dangers which we know not of and both wisedom strength to follow good and honest callinges and also the blessing vpon our labours to make vs prosper by them are from God alone should we not beginne the day with suit vnto God for his gracious protection and for his mercifull blessing of vs 1. Tim. 4.5 And seeing meates and drinks are sanctified vnto vs on Gods parte by the worde and on ours by prayer doubtles though God hath by his worde sanctified them they are vnholy vnto vs when we doe not for our part sanctifie them by faithfull prayer and thankesgiuing And this was Dauids practise Psal 55.17 Euening morning and at noonetide will I pray and make a noyse and he will heare my voyce If any say it is sufficient for the gouernour to charge euery one in his family to do it priuatly by himselfe so might the Prince say it is inough to do as Darius did to charge euery one in all his dominions Dan. 6.26 to worship no God but Daniels God Yet godly Princes thought it their dutie to set vp the worship of God in their dominions to take order that God might be worshipped publikely ioyntly of al in their land So did Iob for his household Iob. 1.5 6 not onely bid his children pray to God by themselues but he appointed set times of praying togither sacrificing and commanded his children to come prepared thereunto Againe if the master lay the matter vpon the consciences of such as be of his familie then if they bee negligent God shall haue no honor worship in that familie But we reade of Abraham that wheresoeuer he became he built an altar to God Gen. 12.7.8 13.8 21.33 22.9 where God should bee worshipped ioyntly of his family If God should measure out his goodnes to thee as thou measurest honor and glorie to him in what a case wert thou Hee doth giue a charge to his Angels to keepe thee he commaÌ„deth the earth to allow thee meat for thy sustenance but his commandement is an effectuall word that maketh them to doe the thing that he chargeth them withall Wilt thou now only bid thy seruant or sonne to serue honor God and not see that he do it helpe him in it Then thou dost not measure out vnto God as thou wouldest haue him measure to thee This dutie then belongeth to a christian head of a familie to worship God with all his familie to take order that when he shal be absent vpon necessary occasion it may be done reuerently and duly by some one in his familie that by reason of wit and age may be meet for it The neglect of this dutie letteth into families many grieuous enormities and outward miseries while God in his iustice refuseth to blesse such as by their carelesnesse in seruing of him doe shew that they take not him to be the author of all welfare to soule or bodie but thinke to do wel inough without him or else thinke to haue their turnes serued without requesting The third dutie Priuate instructing which the chiefe gouernour must performe to all in his familie is priuate instruction dealing with theÌ„ in matters of religion for the building of them vp in true faith and for the inuring bringing of them to a coÌ„science towards God that they may not onely know and professe religion but also feele and shew the power of religion in their liues This dutie hath these specials belonging to it First a familiar plaine opening vnto them the principles of religion after the manner of a Catechisme This dutie the holy Ghost layeth vpon parents Ephe. 6.4 Traine them vp in doctrine and holy precepts drawne out of the word The like was commaÌ„ded to parents in the old law
19. â— Mark 10.7 1. Cor. 6.16 Ephes 5.31 straighter then any other coniunction in the societie of mankinde Insomuch that it is a lesse offence to forsake father and mother and to leaue them succourles which notwithstanding ought by Gods commandement to be honored then it is to do the like toward his lawfull maried wife Wherfore let them looke well what they doe that are readie for light and small causes to separate maÌ„ man and wife seeing that Christ himselfe saith Matth. 19.9 That whosoeuer is separated from his wife sauing for whoredome and marrieth another committeth adulterie This is a thing worthie to bee remembred both on the behalfe of the Suter and Woer as also on her part that is woed namely that they deale plainly and faithfully one with the other and not guilefully and craftily goe about to deceiue one the other in bodie or goods for so doing they shall neuer vse one the other so louingly and commodiously as they hoped and desired they might when the one hath fraudulently and deceitfully inticed and beguiled the other either in bodie or substance for naturally wee hate him or her that doth beguile vs. Neither is there any thing that displeaseth a man or woman more then to lacke and faile of the thing they both hoped and looked for And therefore it were conuenient and also much better that both parties should disclose the one to the other such imperfections infirmities and wants in either of their bodies as also the mediocritie and meannesse of their goods and substaÌ„ce as in truth it is yea though it should be with the perill and losse one of the other rather then the one to obtaine and get the other with fraud guile and discord But before wee shall come to speake of the causes of mariage we purpose God so willing briefly to shew how euery one that entendeth to marrie should chuse him a meete fit and honest mate for there lieth much weight in the wise election and choise of a wife Gen. 2.18 As hee that will plant any thing doth first consider the nature of the ground in the which he mindeth to plant euen so much more ought a man to haue respect to the condition of the woman out of whom hee desireth to plant children the fruits of honestie and welfare The first thing that is to bee remembred of such a one as mindeth to marrie is Such as are of kindred in the flesh may not contract matrimonie that hee doe not chuse his wife within such degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie as are by f Leuit. 18.6 c. Gods law forbidden Secondly g Deut. 7.3 2. Cor. 6.14.15 c. Religion and faith must be considered least he make diuorce of the true faith or bring it into perill For although hee thinke himselfe as wise as h 1. King 11.4 Salomon and as strong as i Iudg. 16.17.18 Sampson yet may he bee ouercome as they were Therefore great aduisement before hand is to be taken in this behalfe least afterwards with much griefe and sorrow of hart he doe too late repent Now if any that hath matched himselfe with a wife that is an infidell irreligious or of a corrupt religion and would put her away for this matter herein he deceiueth himselfe 1. Cor. 7.12.13 c. 1. Pet. 3.1 as the Apostle manifestly proueth for wee must put a difference betweene that mariage that is made and done alreadie and it that is yet to doe Wherefore he that is snared and matched with such a wife as is either froward wayward or els is poysoned with superstition and poperie in such a case he must call vpon God and liue in his feare in faithfulnesse in patience and with discretion and godly counsell labour to winne her from the same For like as that Husbandman doth with great labour and diligence till that ground which hee hath once taken to farme although it be neuer so full of faults as if it be drie if it bring forth weedes bâ—ambles or briers or though the same ground cannot beare much wet yet through good husbandry he winneth fruit thereof Euen so in like maner he that hath maried a wife that is irreligious or froward if he shall vse like diligence to instruct and order her minde if he diligently and courteously apply himselfe to weede out by little and little the noysome weeds out of her minde both by holesome and godly precepts and by Christian conuersation it cannot bee but in time he shall feele the pleasant fruit thereof to both their comforts for as it is commonlie said a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. Euery one therefore that purposeth to marrie ought also to remember that there be three maner of riches in man Three maner of riches in man 1. The riches of the minde 2. The riches of the bodie 3. The riches of temporall substance The best and the most precious are the riches of the minde as without which the other two are more hurtfull then profitable The riches of the mind Riches of the minde are the feare of God faith Gods glorie knowledge of his will sobernesse liberalitie chastitie silence humblenes honestie and such like vertues These vertues lie not still neither hide themselues wheresoeuer they be but will break out diuers waies so that they may well bee spied and discerned As a traueller hath markes in his way that he may proceede aright so likewise the man or woman that intendeth to marrie haue also marks in their waies by which they may make a right choise There bee certaine signes of this fitnes and godlinâ—s both in the man and in the woman So that if the man be desirous to know a godly woman or the woman would know who is a godly man then let them obserue and marke these sixe points Sixe rules to be obserued in the choise of a good wife or a good husband 1. The report 2. The lookes 3. The speech 4. The apparell 5. The companions 6. And lastly the education and bringing vp which are like the pulses that shew whether a man be sick or whole well or ill 1. The report 1. Report name or fame he or she hath had and yet haue and what opinion honest folkes haue of them because as the market goeth so the market-men will talke A good man and a good woman commonlie haue a good name Prou. 10.7 and 22.1 Preach 7.3 because a good name is one of the blessings which God promiseth to good men and good women Psal 112.6 but a good name is not to bee praised from the wicked Luk. 6.26 And therfore our Sauiour Christ saith Woe be to you wheÌ„ all men speake well of you that is when euill men praise and commend you for that is a plaine argument that you are ambitious vain-glorious and of the world For the world liketh and praiseth her own Ioh. 15.19 Neuerthelesse it is conuenient that euery Christian should so
A GODLIE FORME OF HOVSEHOLDE GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods word Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner The seuerall duties of the Husband towards his Wife and the Wifes dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their Children and the Childrens towards their Parents The Masters dutie towards his Seruants and also the Seruants dutie towards their Masters Gathered by R. C. ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BARNARDE What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy name of thy Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour CYPRIAN It profiteth a man saith he nothing at all to professe vertue in words and to ouerthrow the trueth in his deeds AT LONDON Printed by Felix Kingston for Thomas Man 1598. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL MAISTER ROBERT BVRGAINE OF ROXALL ONE OF her Maiesties Iustices of peace in the Countie of Warwicke to the right Worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the Worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple-hall in the Countie of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the father by Iesus Christ and constancie in the trueth of the Gospell to the end and in the end HAuing collected and finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising verie carefully with my selfe to whom I might dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage thereof then some such meetest persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall Charges the seuerall poynts and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherevpon calling to minde the holy exercises daylie vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all ioyntly Patrones hereof First for that I acknowledge my selfe beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintance with you therefore least I should deserue the blame of vnthankefulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of mariage so also you are and haue beene a long time inseperably knit in a zealous sincere profession of Gods word and religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly would yet least I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeres in an idle condition or to hide my tallent in a napkin I haue been no lesse careful then willing to labour otherwaies to doo what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purport of my writings For such Householders as pretend to be great protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long inough talke of discipline and stil complaine of the want of Church-gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their own houses according to the direction handled in this Treatise and so to suffer the holy religion of God to take place amongst their families at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profit little For although there bee neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising and discipline in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in trueth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in trueth they were disordered and are still corrupted and mard at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnesse which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden dutie are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to bee practised within their seueral Households For if Parents and Householders shal performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meat drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and Infidels do yeelde this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullocks should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a christian Householder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants a much more christian care then he hath ouer his dumbe insensible beasts that so he may take a singular comfort from the daylie contemplation of their encrease in spirituall graces Oh what a sweete and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder as when he hath been so diligent and carefull in the trayning and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and waies of the Lorde that hee may rightly deserue to haue this worthie report commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly namely that he hath a church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed As the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly House-keepers Aquilla and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16.5 1. Cor. 16.19 As also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and Householders are in the Lorde to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of the couenant or at least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education and information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alasse many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing mooued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know and learne that if
or disquiet in marriage he answereth no his reason is For the vnbeleeuing husband is sanctified by his beleeuing wife and the vnbeleeuing wife by her beleeuing husband And this he proueth by affirming that the children issuing of such a marriage be holy that is to say partakers of the couenant of God and consequently accepted into the fellowship of the Church Onely he addeth this exception Jf the vnbeleeuing man depart and forsake the beleeuing wife shee is not subiect to follow him And yet must this be vnderstood where such departure ariseth eyther vpon hatred that he beareth to the true religion that his wife professeth or vpon a desire to vse his polluted and false religion For herein cannot his wife follow him without danger of defil◠〈◊〉 â—riuing of her selfe of the profession of the 〈◊〉 â—ogither with the food of her soule Liâ—â—â—â—se where Saint Paul speaking of the husbâ—â—d and wife 1. Cor. 7.11 both beleeuers saith If the woman depart from her husband let her remaine vnmarried or bee reconciled to her husband He therein meaneth not that it shall be lawfull for the woman because shee cannot beare the troublesome nature of her husband or to auoide strife and debate to depart and liue as a widdowe but onely he sheweth that when the husband vpon such like occasion shall put away or cast off his wife yet is not she at her libertie to marrie another but must remaine vnmarried and labour to be reconciled And therefore are those women which vpon the hard dealing or troublesome dispositions of their husbands do forsake them greatly to be reproued as thereby giuing occasion of great mischiefe and trouble as also are those husbands who vpon like occasion doe forsake their wiues For seeing nothing may make diuorce but Adulterie euery purpose and determination to part vpon any other occasion or reason is restrained by Gods ordinance the law of marriage And for as much as it is not lawfull for vs to continue in such separation the whole course of our liues neither is it lawfull so to abide at all eyther so much as to enter thereinto If therefore vpon such occasion the husband forsake his wife or the wife her husband rather then to continue the mischiefe begunne let them returne togither againe and thinke that the shortest follies doe least hurt Obiection If they alledge their intreatie in their opinion intolerable and their nature so contrary that they cannot liue without strife and debate Also that beeing asunder and quiet in conscience free from trouble they may the better applie themselues and imploy their time in praier Answere The answere is that such infirmities must not dissolue or breake the bond of marriage and their duties to liue togither but let them thinke that God hath called them to the exercise of patience which vpon heartie prayer be graunted to them Let them labour each to beare with other that they may liue in peace and continually pray to GOD to giue them grace so to doe Let them remember that the diuell transformeth himselfe into an Angell of light when by propounding a dutie to liue in quiet and consequently a meane to pray vnto God for the compassing thereof hee induceth them to gaine-say Gods prohibition and also to seperate that which God hath ioyned togither For as the coniunction commeth of God so the separation and diuorce proceedeth from the diuell If they reply that by liuing asunder so that they marrie not againe they breake not the bond of marriage let them remember that marriage being ordained for a remedie against fornication for the generation ad bringing vp of children and also for a helpe each to other in mutuall societie and inseparable conuersation of life yet doth there appeare no token or effect of marriage in those that liue asunder albeit they marrie not againe So that the benefite of marriage consisteth not only in the procreation of children but also in the natural societie of the two diuers sexes Otherwise it could not be said that there were any marriage betweene two old folkes This vnion of marriage yet teacheth vs another duetie common both to the man and to the wife Which is that their goods bee common betweene them That a common wealth may in some sort bee said to bee happie where they haue no vse of these words Mine and thine But in marriage especially they ought not to be heard If the wife haue brought most goods in marriage the marriage once consummate and made her part is gone and they are gone and they are made common as also are the debts whether hers or her husbands And therefore can neither of them say This is mine but this is ours When a woman hath brought great goods yet may shee not say I will doe with mine owne what I list for she her selfe is not her owne but her husbandes The husband as the head and chiefe guide of the familie must haue the custodie chiefe gouernement of the goods in the house yet may he discharge himselfe of the whole or of part as himselfe shall thinke meet and conuenient yet let him remember that hee intreat her not as a seruant by giuing her money as it were in mistrust or with condition to returne him a particular account For the husbandes mistrust doth many times prouoke the woman and the wiues vaine expence breedeth mistrust in the husband but the faithfull and discreet employment and good vsage of the wife and her husbands confidence in her will procure that as the goods be common to both so each alike shall vndertake the custodie and employment of the same Hereunto for a conclusion of this point we will yet adde two dueties common both to the husband and the wife The first that they dayly pray to God to giue them grace to liue togither in peace and loue and that each may be a helpe to others saluation Let all such as desire to enioy such a felicitie vnderstand that they must dayly pray to God for the obtaining thereof And let those that liue in strife and debate examine themselues whether they haue no cause to impute their miserable estate to their neglect of this dutie The second consisteth in the practise of the same which Saint Paul teacheth saying Let those that be married 1. Cor. 7.29 be as if they were not married But how By so enioying the commoditie and contentation of marriage that the benefite of their coniunction breed no diuorce betweene God and them likewise that thereby they bee not hindered or made slacke in any dutie toward God and their neighbours as also that no affliction depending or proceeding of marriage withdraw them or force them to resolue of any thing coÌ„trary to the vnion of marriage their christian profession that they bee the children of God The particular dueties of the husband toward the wife are first to protect her to haue regard and care ouer her c. Ruth 3.9 Secondly that hee vnfainedly loue
you of a great abuse which for the most part is committed in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neyther you your selues neyther your children nor seruants do knowe the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion is this deuotion becomming Gods house is not this all one as if a man should say stay GOD heere comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must doe my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till hee bee past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God this doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answere him for it Is there no time to shewe our dutie towards men but euen then when wee are about Gods seruice Why know thou when man standeth before God how honourable so euer hee bee hee is but dung and filth and not to bee regarded and let Parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to robbe God of his worship but there is an appoynted time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third chapter well admonisheth Eccles 3.1 To all things there is an appoynted time and a time to euery purpose vnder the heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33.9 that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knâ—w he his bretheren nor his owne children euen so beloued our eyes and our minds deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when wee are in his seruice that wee should not see or regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second chapter of the Gospell after S. Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull childe that euer was borne of woman yet when hee was about his fathers businesse hee saith vnto his mother Woman Ioh. 2.4 what haue I to do with thee which examples will teach vs that when we are a bout Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to bee obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place example of this wee haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the two strangers as it is written Gen. 18.8 And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which hee had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eat Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. Their fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this Mar. 10.17 1 King 2.19 4. The first thing is that they giue the chiefe place to their betters and to offer the same to others in curtesie 1. King 2.11 Luke 14.8.9.10 Pro. 1â— 33 and 16.18 6. Their last dutie is to vncouer their head And though wee finde no example for this in holy scripture as beeing not vsed in those former times yet seeing the thing is ciuill and comely and one of the speciall curtesies of our daies we will confirme it also with the authoritie of Gods word Phil. 4.8 Whatsoeuer things are honest whatsoeuer things are of good report those things do And again 1 Cor. 14 40. Let all things be done decently and according to order But this kind of ciuilitie is both decent and according to order as also honest and of good report and therefore warranted and commended by Gods word and so worthy to be followed Therefore if our children bee not thus trained vp in nurture while they be yong when they be olde they shall be found so head-strong that they will not be gouerned but this consequent must needes follow that all order shall bee taken away and then confusion must needs ensue For if nourture be neglected then our elders and gouernours shall not bee reuerenced if they be not reuerenced they will not be regarded if they be not regarded they will not be obeyed and if they be not obeyed then steps in rebellion and euery one will do what he listeth These vices and great abuses are to bee reformed and with speede amended not onely of many parents and maisters themselues but also that they labour with all diligence that they may be redressed and amended in their children and seruants first the grosse ignorance in the grounds of christian religion which yet remaineth in any Parents Maisters and their families who giue themselues to sleepe in the church to talke one with another to turne ouer their bookes there and vsing of their owne priuate deuotions or praiers in the time of publike preaching and prayer all which no doubt are greeuous sinnes and transgressions and besides many absent theÌ„selues from holy exercises and specially vppon the Lords day then lying in their beds haunting of Ale-houses and tauernes riding and going abroad about their worldly affaires for pleasure and profit beeing also wearie whilst they be present at prayers and preaching seldom do they preuent or come before prayers nay many come in the midst thereof to the great disturbance of the same and others that are there and some againe before the sermons are ended other some after the prayers made and before the singing of the Psalmes and the vsual blessing to be pronounced depart thence whereof they as wel as those that tarrie should bee partakers posting also out of the church as it were from a play or may-game as though they supposed that no more reuerence should be shewed there then in other places or that some part of diuine seruice belonged vnto them and not vnto other some whereas in very trueth euery one ought to be alike partakers of the whole And how should wee looke for any goodnesse from God where this that is the seede of all sinne and the nurse of al abhominations raigneth and swaieth so much Let such as are fathers and mothers and haue children know in what sort they must be carefull for them Their children are a good blessings of God they be members of the body of Christ Math. 16.14 and the sonnes of God The kingdome of heauen belongeth to theÌ„ God hath appoynted his Angels to guide and leade them and to shield them from euill and their Angels bee in the presence of God and do behold the face of their father which is in heauen They be fresh plants of the church Who knoweth what necessary instruments they may be in the house
the schoole to bee taught of the master if they learne it will be the better for them if not they haue the more to answer for what can we doe more But remember O man consider O woman whosoeuer thus speaketh for that sins sake and the want of prayer there may be a plague vpon the Pastors paines and a curse vpon the teachers trauell Children profit more by good example in one month then by instruction in a whole yeare If parents therefore would haue their children blessed at the Church and at the schoole let them beware they giue their children no corrupt example at home by any carelesnesse prophanenesse or vngodlinesse for whē examples are set before childrens eyes they are easily led away to that which is euill otherwise parents will doe them more harme at home then both Pastor schoolemaster can do good abroad for the corrupt example of the one fighteth with the good doctrine of the other which is by so much the more dangerous because that corrupt walking is armed with nature and therefore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side And further experience teacheth vs that children like or mislike more by countenance gesture and behauiour then by any rule doctrine or precept whatsoeuer Some there be that will not haue their children taught vntill they be ten or twelue yeeres old because as they say at that age they haue but an apish imitation To whom wee answere that although they cannot then deepely discerne nor profoundly conceiue things yet how many things before these yeeres will they both receiue and remember And we demaund if children be apish in imitating and following that whilst they bee young which they will haue the habit qualitie or propertie of when they be old may they not much better doe apishly good whiles they are young which they may carefully doe when they are old besides let them goe so vntaught and they will grow so head-strong that they will sooner be broken then bended and sure it is that one stripe or two words will doe more good to a child in time then a hundreth stripes afterward And here let parents be admonished of their vndiscreet correction who doe their children more harme in shewing a merrie countenance after their discipline vsed then they doe good by their chastisement of them whiles they doe correct them Neyther doe we purpose to take away naturall affections and a christian kind of compassion in all our censures for it is our great complaint of the brutish vnmercifulnesse of many parents herein but we would wish Christians to correct their vndiscreet affections herein by heauenly wisedome Neither are we so stoicall as to denie a more mild and affable kind of speech to bee both lawfully and conueniently vsed to children and yet we wish it to be voyd of all vnseemely lenitie and without all shew of foolish vaine and vnnecessarie behauiour To be briefe how needfull household gouernment is towards children may appeare by the slender thriuing smal profiting either of religion or vertue either in the Church or Cōmon-wealth Speake men of discipline neuer so much cōplaine they of the want of Church gouernment neuer so lowd preach they teach they neuer so much abroad vnles they wil begin discipline in reforming their houses and giue religion some roome at home they shall trauell much profit little And surely if men be carefull to reforme themselues first then their families if their charge be greater then their circuits and prouinces wherein the Lord hath placed thē it were the best way to moue the Lord to bestow reformation and discipline on his Church among vs and of all meanes that now may be hoped for this seemeth best for of particular persons come families of families townes of townes prouinces of prouinces Realmes so that conueying discipline thus from one to another in time that shortly it would come into the Church Well we say let there be neuer so good lawes in cities neuer so pure orders in churches if there be no practise at home if fathers of families vse not doctrine and discipline in their houses ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done cōplaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how would hope sustaine these men that others wil performe this duty for thē to whō this charge doth far lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remēber that therfore they haue disordered disobediēt childrē to thēselues because they haue bin disobedient childrē vnto the Lord disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou mayest haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember how that God which on his part protested to father Abraham Gen. 17.1 that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seed and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this of the couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seed then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seed of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may bee an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou O man O woman that mayst doe thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for him and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastours paynes and the Teachers trauell but if thou despisest these dueties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon thy child at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will bee thy God and blesse thy seed if thou beest faithfull thou mayest both hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seed and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seed is accursed Obiection But had not Jacob wicked children and Dauid godly sonnes and doth not dayly experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes Answere for