of God is all in all unto her and without it all things are as nothing seeing she 's only content with the will of God The Soul that truly understands this Truth lives always well pleas'd in the changes of this Life observing therein the order of Gods Providence wherewith she is well satisfied and resolv'd to be indifferent to every condition If we be not content with a low vocation as well as with great Graces it proceeds from interest and self-love Great Saints of God your ways are high and sublime and mine are low and ordinary in which however I live well pleas'd without aspiring after your elevations because I taste a sweetness in Gods order that contents my heart To abide in interiour peace and tranquility with submission to the Orders of God by a strong union with his good pleasure in all things is not the work of a day we must fight couragiously many years with all sorts of enemies before we can gain so great a victory In my judgment there 's nothing more dangerous than to leave the order of God and to aim at greater things than he will have us But a Soul content with Gods good pleasure is well pleas'd with any state wherein is no Sin nor beloved Imperfections But our Pride is the source of a thousand disturbances and we continually trouble our selves if we will aim at too high a perfection or run too fast to that which God discovers to us by light from Heaven A pure Soul must desire nothing but the pure satisfaction of God and not her own interest though she find in her self much imperfection Jesus Christ to whom she has absolutely given her self such as she is is all perfection this is enough for her she will find in him her repose her tranquility her beatitude without troubling her self too much with her defects and failings I know not how it comes to pass but I am content and imperfect both together and yet my imperfections do not please me neither by the Grace of God shall they disquiet me I do not seek for the object of my contentment in my self but in my God and Saviour the only love and center of my Soul CHAP. XVI The practice of the Presence of God for the seven days of the Week THe solid foundations of a Spiritual Life are Mortifications pure Virtue to shun excess of business though never so good to converse with Holy Persons but above all Prayer and the love of Solitude which affords more liberty to attend to the one thing necessary The Soul that loves cannot but suffer at the absence of her Beloved and therefore love sets her to Prayer to make him present And the better to converse with God and entertain him with amorous discourses she applyes her self sometimes to the Being of God sometimes to this or that Divine Perfection considering him as the Being of Beings who only is of himself and before whom the whole Creation is nothing Sometimes her Meditations present him to her all-powerful with his only word creating and conserving all things And then again she considers him as infinitely wise ordering all things by his wonderful Providence Sometimes as infinitely merciful and patient bearing with our manifold sins and provocations And then again as infinitely loving and amorous of our Souls in a manner unspeakable Sometimes as infinitely just hating iniquity with an implacable aversion not sparing his only Son being a Sacrifice for sin Lastly as infinitely good and merciful pardoning our innumerable sins and transgressions Each day of the Week may take up one of these considerations in mental Prayer if God do not suggest to the Soul some other matter of Meditation The first Day The Being of God IS it so that we live move and are continually in the bosome of God In ipso vivimus movemur sumus and yet think so little of him He vouchsafes to dwell in our hearts and our hearts run after Creatures to rest in them that is in nothing for the Being of all things is nothing else in respect of God but as shadows about us What takes up the greatest part of the World does consist but in imagination as Honour Dignity Praises Reputation c. so much beloved and admired There be other things have a Being to our Senses visible and palpable yet but corporeal and corruptible to day here and gone to morrow however poor Creatures as we are we set our hearts upon them as if they were eternal There are other things whose Being is more permanent and elevated above sense as universal Verities which consist in the understanding however not eternal nor immense nor without defect O my God I elevate my self as I am able to find you and I discover that your Being depends not upon imagination or sense or reason but you are above all this Incomprehensible O Eternal Being You never had beginning nor ever shall have end O infinite Being You are nothing of what we see or know here below You are an Infinity to whom nothing is wanting to whom nothing can be added from whom nothing can be taken away Your Perfection is Infinite O immense Being You fill all things without extension without quantity without parts or composition 't is You alone in whom is the eternal source of Life and Being When I search for you if I go out of your self what do I find but privation and nothing O my God what damage what annihilation is it when we fall into sin or imperfection For this is to go out of our Being to plunge our selves in the Abiss of nothingness Ad nihilum redactus sum O my Soul wilt thou always commit folly Wilt thou daily run after deceits and vanity that is the Grandeurs and pleasures of this World Wilt thou continually tire thy self to follow a shadow that flies from thee And wilt thou forget God the Being of Beings who is every where present and offers himself unto thee O my God so take me up with your presence that I may forget all other things to think on you my only Happiness The second Day The Omnipotency of God 'T Is no better than a Prison to confine our Souls within the small limits of created Beings 't is a slavery to be tyed to the intollerable yoak which the World and Vanity impose on their Servants 't is a Hell to be precipitated into the dungeon of exorbitant Passions and filthy Vices But 't is a Paradice and glorious liberty to be taken up with the Thoughts of God where we may walk at large finding all in him to be infinitely great his Goodness his Beauty his Sweetness and to apply our selves to admire sometimes This then That perfection This day O my Soul let us contemplate the Omnipotency of God wherein we may behold so many wonders O how the effects thereof are admirable in the Production conservation and operations of all Creatures 'T is by this Power the Immense Machine of the World is upheld upon
obscurity of Faith She must therefore keep her self in an Indifferency rising and falling according to the conduct of Gods Holy Spirit Always esteeming her self unworthy of the least Grace and never pretend by forcing her Spirits to the extraordinary favours of high Contemplation But when she has a call to such elevations in Prayer the way to arrive thither is by a perfect death to all things and a Faithful imitation of Jesus Christ in his Crucified states of Abjection and Poverty with a Love of Solitude as much as our condition will permit There 's a great deal of difference between that Light and Fervour which is imparted to a Soul in the elevations of passive Prayer and that Light which is procured by the ordinary Grace of Meditation That is more in time and piercing and full of Heavenly Benedictions This however suffices to acquire Virtues and serve God in the state of our Vocation 'T is our duty to attend to our present condition with Peace and Humility and submission to the Divine Will and let God alone to order as he pleases the time of his Visits and our manner of Prayer Sometimes this will be by simple Thoughts sometimes by Discourse sometimes by Faith alone and sometimes by passive Illuminations But whatever is given us we must receive from the hand of the Divine Goodness with great respect and Thankfulness acknowledging our selves unworthy of the least good Thought That which a Soul ought to do both in and out of Prayer is to be very attentive to Gods Holy Inspirations and follow them with Courage and Fidelity If she find that God elevates her to extraordinary Contemplation let her yield to those Divine impressions If she be kept in an ordinary way let her there abide If she be left in Aridities let her also sit down without complaining The great secret of a Spiritual Life is for a Soul to purifie her self so as to comply with the motions of God who is our Alpha and Omega our Origen and final end There are things sufficiently declared as the Commandments of God and the Church the Duties we owe to Obedience Charity or Necessity There 's no need to expect immediate Light from God for the performance of these things But only in such which are neither commanded nor forbidden And in these great Purity of Soul is necessary to discern the motions of Grace for fear we be deceiv'd by our own imaginations Those Saints who by the Impulses of Gods Holy Spirit have writ Spiritual Treatises to direct Interiour Christians in the wayes of God oftentimes affect us with their Thoughts and Sentiments because they Pray in Heaven for this Blessing on their labours on Earth and therefore t is Beneficial to read their Books to advance our Devotion But do what we can we shall never know what that Prayer is by what those Books write of it unless by the practice and Light of the same Prayer We know well enough in general that Prayer is the source of all Virtue in the Soul who leaves that off falls into Luke-warmness and Imperfections Prayer is a Holy Fire that warms the Heart and Affections which without it must of necessity grow cold in Devotion In Health or Sickness Joy or Sorrow we must always Pray except we have a mind to fall from Grace to our utter ruin CHAP. III. That we ought to be indifferent to what manner of Prayer God is pleased to give us WE ought to shun two Extreams equally vitious The one is to covet more Grace and Perfection than God intends us so as to be troubled and disgusted to see others more elevated in Gifts of Prayer than our selves The other is not to co-operate faithfully with the Grace vouchsaf'd us either for want of Courage in the Difficulties that occur in the practice of Virtue or of Attention to observe the Motions of Grace or being observed by too easily diverting our selves to other matters and so neglecting the Mercies of God When a Soul is well purified and hath experience of the Impulses of Grace in her and can distinguish them from the motions of Nature she must give free ingress to the rayes of this Light from Heaven that she may be throughly illuminated and warm'd in her Devotions For to do otherwise under a pretence of Humility and fear of deception is not to yield to the Conduct of God's Spirit who inspires when and whom he pleases 'T is then our Duty to be entirely passive that God may fully work his Will in us When these Divine Illuminations are withdrawn from a Soul for the Glory of God and her good and so left in darkness or when her own Imperfections have made her not so capable of supernatural Lights she must rest contented with these privations till it pleases the Sun of Righteousness to shine upon her A purified Soul is satisfied and resign'd on such occasions because God only is her joy and not his gifts which he by his infinite Goodness communicates to her when he pleases And this is the reason that she loves not her inward peace and joy when she is deprived of heavenly Irradiations and Gifts in Prayer He who gives himself up to his Prince for his sole interest and satisfaction without seeking his own peculiar concerns and contentment does not much matter what Service he renders and what Rewards he receives provided his Prince be well pleased and satisfied If he keep him near his person to caress him he is content not that he is caressed but because it is his Princes pleasure If he imploy him afar off in troublesome Affairs he is content not to be so far from his Person and in a hazardous Employment but because this is the Pleasure of his Prince whose Content he only had an eye to in giving himself up unto his Service This is the true case of a Soul that desires to serve God purely for the Love of God If God caress her in Prayer with Visits full of Sweetness she is content because this is his Pleasure if he affords not his Presence but leaves her in Darkness she is content because 't is the good pleasure of God If God call her to the exercises of Charity in a life more active and laborious than the contemplative she is content because this is the good pleasure of God which is the only thing she seeks and desires in his Service This indifferency disposes a Soul to receive great Graces for by this means she sometimes arrives to a total oblivion of her self and all creatures without any reflection on her own Interests Temporal or Eternal haveing nothing in her eye but the good pleasure of God and desiring him alone insomuch that if any thing of self creep in at any time as soon as she discovers it 't is distasteful to her This is a state of great Nakedness and entire Mortification and a perfect disposition to most sublime Prayer whether God elevates a Soul whom he sees ready to submit
Desarts This makes one a Citizen of the whole world every place is indifferent to such a Soul for being not attach'd to any Creature God alone is what she desires whom she knows is all in all and his presence alike in every place When we are sad for the absence of any Friend 't is for want of light from Heaven seeing our greatest Friend is continually with us And indeed 't is injurious to God present in us to be troubled at the absence of any Creature and it is as much as if we should say to God You alone are not sufficient for me 'T is an excellent means to bring us to a denudation of all Creatures to be willingly content with their absence yea hardly to think upon them by reason of the veneration we have of the grandeurs of God who being infinitely present with us we cannot voluntarily be taken up with any thing else without some sort of injury to his infinite Majesty 'T is a great Mercy when Divine Providence orders our affairs so as to bring us off from vain occupations seeing we can never possess God fully unless we be dead to worldly things As long as they flatter us and go on as we desire they take us up too much and we easily forget God but his amiable Providence has a thousand ways to make them disgustful to us by losses by maladies by falseness of friends by ill success of affairs by the substraction of sensible favours and by a distast and bitterness which at last we find in all worldly contentments We who understand not his amiable designs do oftentimes our utmost endeavours to shun these things as no small miseries and yet this is indeed the Paradice of holy Souls whereby they find God who is most present to that heart where no Creature finds entertainment And when such a Soul tasts the sweetness of God she disgusts the Creatures and though they importune her she generously contemns them and 't is a punishment to give any attention to their allurements When a Soul does not engage her self in worldly affairs but by the order of God her Interiour will receive no prejudice for she is always in a state to return to God whom in a manner she does not leave in those employments And the same light which discovers to her the intime presence of God makes her see also the orders of God in respect of external affairs to which she yields a peaceable and ready obedience For she is for doing what God would have her though she must lose for some time that sweet repose which she possesses by the enjoyment of God What makes her retire into her internal quiet is not the quiet it self nor the sweetness thereof but the order of God who is pleas'd to unite a Soul to himself by intervals and gives her a gust by his presence that he is her centre and final happiness But when God will have it so she changes also her operations and leaves God in a manner to converse with Creatures She is so dis-engaged that she willingly moves not but by God's motions which carry her whither he pleases either to enjoy him or do good to others all is indifferent to her because she seeks nothing but to please God Nevertheless 't is true that a poor Soul enamour'd of the sweetness of God's presence and of the internal peace of this enjoyment does not without some regret return to exteriour Objects and sensual Functions She then neither speaks nor hears nor takes refection without some reluctance because being sensible of this infinite Good present with her and finding nothing in the Creatures but misery and dissatisfaction she cannot well quit this excellent Object to turn to the deceitful figure of sensual things Her Treasure being within her all her thoughts and her affections are there also I have sometimes felt in my self desires to be blind deaf and dumb to the end I might be more entirely separated from all Creatures and more intimately united to the Creator present in me experiencing with grief that my Soul oftentimes forgets this Divine presence when she makes sallies out upon the Creatures by the Gates of my Senses Well then I must keep them shut that my Soul being cloister'd up within her own walls may be wholly taken up with God alone CHAP. IV. That the presence of God is clearly seen in a purified Interiour THe Idaea of a Looking-glass is very pertinent to explicate this matter For God makes himself sometimes to be seen in the Interiour of the Soul as in a well-polish'd Glass in the same manner as the Sun or rather its figure is visible in a Fountain of pure Water The Soul sees not the face of God that is the priviledge of Glory but she beholds him there more clearly than elsewhere God painting his resemblance in her in the same sort as the Sun shews his visage in pure water But the purity and peace must be very great in the Interiour of such a Soul to present the impression of this presence For as the breath darkens the Looking glass in like manner voluntary imperfections sully the purity of the Soul And as the least motion that troubles the Fountain makes it lose the Image of the Sun so the extroversions and sallies out towards Creatures makes the Soul lose the sight of the Divine presence in her When God manifests himself so present to a Soul she must regard nothing but him otherwise she loses her happiness it being not possible to behold the Image of the Sun in the Fountain together with those that pass by the way We must let them pass without gazing on them whatever Friends they be otherwise we shall find that our Beloved will veil his face from whom we our selves have turned our eyes There is a time to speak and a time to be silent Let us therefore in this happy moment speak to no Creature and give this reverence to the presence of God in us as to regard It only and nothing else It sometimes happens that God permits the Devil to shew his visage in his place This is when the Soul is molested with black thoughts wicked representations foul temptations fond imaginations and then she must guard her self with patience in the acknowledgment of her unworthiness and confess that she deserves to be continually banish'd from God's presence But if our fidelity be great in this state of darkness and interiour disquiet it will not be long e'r God shew his face and make fair weather There be some who loved others so passionately while they were alive that they go to Magicians to procure a sight of them after death and are ravish'd to behold them in their enchanted glasses A Soul passionately enamour'd on God is ravish'd to behold him though but for a moment in her Interiour and fears no Motifications nor the loss of all Creatures if they do but purifie the glass to shew God to her According to the degree of
thee That is to say let thy care be to be lost in me and I will take order for thy affairs Such a Soul does not spend much time in the things of this Life but in the praises of God Her exercise being a pure consideration of Divine Providence in whose arms she quietly reposes her self fearing nothing but infidelity CHAP. XIV How the perfect abandon of our selves to God makes us find a Paradice upon Earth SO much as a Soul is faithful to this abandon so much doth she abound with consolation For she is content with the state wherein Providence has put her and is well-pleased with all God's Ordinations concerning her self as are most for his Glory and has a tender love for the Decrees of God's will who from all Eternity has determined to conduct her in this way which she would not change for one more elevared though one sigh would gain it Moreover such a Soul takes much delight in knowing that many Souls are conducted by more excellent ways whereby God may be more glorified For seeing she desires purely the Glory of God she is well-pleased that God is glorified by others and rejoyces at it saying with great resentment Omnis spiritus laudet Dominum Let every spirit praise our Lord every way every state This resentment somewhat resembles that of the Blessed in Heaven where the Angels rejoice more at the Glory which the Seraphins render to God than at their own service And that great difference which an Angel sees between himself and a Seraphin does not raise in him the least desire to be a Seraphin and his joy is greatest in that the Divine will has made him only in the Order of Angels Thus it ought to be with holy Souls on Earth who participating of one anothers good are content with the graces God bestows upon them and sees no good dispositions in themselves or others which does not comfort them O what profound peace is here There is but little difference to be in the state of blessedness or in a perfect abandon to God's good pleasure because there is nothing can afflict such a Soul and she can want nothing that contents the heart Great Saints do not wait for Paradice with impatience having in a manner found it upon Earth by a perfect abandon to God's good pleasure O holy Virgin how were you content that your Son should ascend into Heaven without your company Had not you as much right to follow him as the holy Fathers detained in Limbo They were his Servants only but you his Mother also and yet you remain upon Earth to partake of Miseries and they mount to Heaven to possess Joys eternal and a Crown of Glory How different is this distribution Your own dear Son holy Virgin vouchsafes to go to Limbo to assist the holy Fathers and carry them from thence with him and you who are so near him who have serv'd and accompanied him during his mortal life even in his Passions and Ignominies now he is full of Glory leaves you here And what I more admire you amorously acquiesce in this abandon and are content to want his corporal presence with spiritual joy O what marvels do pass in your Soul O admirable Mother which transcends our understanding All that we can discover is that you are as well content with the privation as presence of Jesus to remain in Jerusalem among his Crucifyers as the company of Angels who sing his Praises when 't is the good pleasure of God and the Eternal Father has so ordained O my Soul when shalt thou be perfectly abandon'd to God's good pleasure Dost thou find thy self as equally content in privations as enjoyments When wilt thou be satisfied with all events dis-engaged wholly from what is not God and value nothing but his good pleasure Seeing that the Mother of God is content to be deprived of the visible presence of Jesus because he will have it so oughtest not thou to desire solely the will of God with an indifferency to all things else If thou might'st choose thou ought'st rather to embrace Desolations than Consolations Neglects and Contempts than Honours and Endearments seeing Jesus and Mary have most loved a suffering life But this perfect abandon this holy indifferency to any state this union with the good pleasure of God is yet a Mine of greater Treasures 'T is the sublimest purest perfectest disposition that can be in the Soul 't is of more worth than other dispositions and they without it are of no value yea in some sort are but imperfections Contemplation a desire to be charitable a will to help our Neighbours in spiritual things are good and holy disposition however God does not always require these of us When God is pleased to leave a Soul in aridities poor and desolate she would be unfaithful if then she should attempt such matters but union to the good pleasure of God can never lead us to imperfection but always elevates us in grace and therefore ought to be permanent in us When a Soul has lost all she may believe she has lost nothing so that she lose not this disposition of union with the will of God which indeed cannot be lost if our hearts be elevated above all earthly things Such a Soul can say truly with some great Saints Deus meus omnia O my God! you are my all in possessing you I have all things else How ignorant are we in complaining of the loss of whatever this world affords seeing the loss of them if we be not our own Enemies may make us find a more pure union with God's good pleasure For we never advance more in Virtue than in a state of denudation And if we desire nothing but the will of God and are content with that whatever it be we can want no disposition to perfection Every state every gracious disposition hath its proper worth they are good and pleasing and ought to be valued though some have more excellency in themselves than others But we must be content with those God is pleased to vouchsafe us in peace submission humility and indifferency to every state reposing our selves in the will of God as in our center A Soul in this state somewhat approaches to the Peace and Felicity of the Blessed in Heaven CHAP. XV. How the Beauty that is in the Order of God contents a Soul I Never yet have well understood this verity so often repeated Not one hair of your head shall fall to the ground without the will of your Heavenly Father The clear and full understanding of which will make a Soul happy on earth and the crosses which before did afflict her Spirit will be a joy unto her and cordial comfort For then she tasts the wonderful sweetness contain'd in the order of God to bring her to Happiness so that Paradice without this order would be as a hell unto her and to be in a suffering condition with this order will become a Paradice The order
vast spaces of nothing 't is by It the Heaven and Stars observe their motions without deficiency the Elements and Plants and Animals are constant in their Productions Without the influence of this Omnipotency no Creature could subsist one moment or have any operation In a word so great is this Power that in an instant it could by one silent word produce a thousand new Worlds out of nothing O Divine Omnipotency how little art thou considered and yet how able to ravish all considering hearts O my Soul let us consider that we are always in the hands of an Omnipotent God Shall we then be discouraged with the difficulties we meet withall in this Life of Miseries Shall we be afraid of our own frailties and weaknesses and the Power of our Adversaries Is not Omnipotency able to uphold us Who can pluck us out of our Heavenly Fathers hands If God be for us who can be against us This is our hope this our comfort O my God I am very sensible what a weak Creature I am and how Potent are my enemies but this does not terrify me because You my strength and supporter are Omnipotent in whom only I put my trust Omnia possum in eo qui me comfortat I can do all things as St. Paul assures us through Christ strengthning me The third Day Of the Wisdom of God O My Soul let 's this day contemplate the Wisdom of God which is able to ravish us if we consider a right the beautiful order of the Vniverse O what admirable Oeconomy is there in the order of Nature of Grace of Glory O how all the dispositions of the Divine Wisdom do appear therein most wonderful We cannot seriously reflect or meditate on any of Gods works but we shall find his Wisdom to be incomprehensible and this does ravish a devout Soul and makes her often cry out O my God how well is this done how wisely is that ordained If my Soul fixes her thoughts in Heaven to contemplate there the admirable order of that Holy City in the various ranks of Angels the several Glories of the Holy Patriarchs Apostles Martyrs Confessors Virgins who are themselves transported in admiration of the Divine Wisdom herein can we but cry out O infinite Wisdom how profound art thou in thy dispositions If from Heaven we descend to Earth how is the Soul ravish'd to observe the unspeakable bounty of Divine Wisdom in the order of all things bringing about the great work of mans Salvation so infallibly and sweetly To see God himself in a manner annihilated to purchase for sinful Creatures Infinite Grandeurs by his Humiliations to behold the triumphs of the Cross of Jesus Crucified over the World sin and hell and the powers of darkness to see and consider these things must needs make us cry out in admiration of the Divine Wisdom incarnate O sapientia quae de Caelo ad terram descendisti O Wisdom which descended from Heaven to earth what wonders have you wrought for mans redemption What Praises what Thanksgivings O my Soul wilt thou render what returns wilt thou make to God for all his benefits and ordinations concerning thee We must conform our selves to the Divine Will and say O my God righteous are you in all your ways 't is well done because so order'd by your Infinite Wisdom Do we live or die are we afflicted or comforted Sit nomen Domini benedictum Seeing God will have it so his Name be blessed The consideration hereof O my Soul will teach us patience and resignation in all the events and changes of Mortality The fourth Day The Patience of God O My God how long is your Patience how profound and unsearchable Who but a God of Infinite Patience could suffer daily such provocations and contradictions from mortals and yet continue to do them a thousand favours to perswade them to amendment O patience of God how art thou unspeakable how art thou unconquerable O my God you know those who will hate and Blaspheme you eternally and yet you bear with them vouchasafing them your Sun and Light and daily Mercies still calling upon them with your holy inspirations to return unto you for their everlasting good Sustinuit in multa patientia vasa irae Your patience is wonderful to sinners we must blame our selves when we perish eternally On what side soever I cast my eyes from one Pole to th' other I see God every where offended contemned contradicted provoked blasphemed and in all the infinite triumphs of his patience sweetly working the Salvation of Sinners O what a long series of patience do I observe in the course of my Life To bear with me so many years wallowing in the mire of my sins when I deserved by Justice to have been cast into Hell To pass over all the resistances I have made to his holy inspirations To have waited and conducted me by his mercy to repentance O ye infinite Patience of God towards me 'T is to you I owe my Salvation or else I had been long since a lost creature for ever Are we not ashamed to see our passions and impatience with others when God notwithstanding our manifold provocations is so long-suffering towards us A single word and sometimes our sole imagination does put us in choler and we contend in heat without containing our selves 'till our anger be over O my God of Infinite patience if you should thus deal with us what would become of us poor creatures The fifth Day Of the Love of God COme my Soul let us walk this day in the pleasant and vast extensions of Gods love the holy love of our merciful God a love incomprehensible which is from eternity to eternity as large as his Essence and the self-same thing with it where ever I am I find my self surrounded with the effects of this infinite Love O my God I sometimes contemplate you as good to us and consider you as in your Creatures which you vouchsafe me for my use and delight But now I have an eye to you as you are in your self and I find my self so in you that I cannot go out of you for you environ me on every side you are in me and out of me and I cannot go from you but I must go to you How art thou beloved O my Soul how art thou beloved of God with an affection surpassing the love of a Mother to her Children The most she can do is to carry them in her bosome with a tender affection which is sometimes wanting But God does lodge thee in the midst of his heart and will never forsake thee O what benefits and mercies dost thou receive from this Infinite goodness Alas when shall I live in God alone and not in my self that he may only reign in my heart O my God I confess and acknowledge that you have the sole right to possess my heart entirely and 't is most mine when 't is wholly yours but be pleas'd dear God to defend your right
and Redeemer to lay out thy self upon the Creature and not correspond to his Inspirations who calls thee to himself What a horrible Infidelity would this be Let us not grieve the Holy Spirit by whom we are Sealed to the day of Redemption The subject of my third Prayer was the admirable Oeconomy of the Incarnation in that by the excess of Love and Goodness God was made Man and Man became God I had profound veneration for the adorable Humanity absorpt in the Divinity and with an amorous confidence beheld the Divinity as it were annihilated in the Humanity which seem'd to me as a Tabernacle of Honour where God dwelt with Infinite Delight This Humanity also in a manner diviniz'd takes Infinite Delight in the Divinity from whence it receives wonderful Impressions of Annihilation to be poor abject and despis'd Crucified For after God was made man he inspir'd the Humanity with ardent desires and love of Sufferings for us Men and our Salvation O Jesus when you communicate your self to a Soul she receives impressions from you which incline her to a love of Contempts and Sufferings And when a Soul feels in her self the greatest propension to Sufferings and Self-denyal 't is then she most participates of your communications and has the greatest assurance of them For O good Jesus your Spirit is full of such impressions from the Divinity and the Soul where you reign as King does Infallibly receive the like impressions from your presence In my fourth Prayer I was touch'd with a great desire to leave this Mortal Life so full of Sin and Misery and depriv'd of the Beatifical Vision of God my Saviour Oh how irksom is it not to be in a capacity to contemplate at leasure this Infinite Beauty this Essence full of Infinite Perfections this only true Object of the Loves of Heaven and Earth O when shall I be deliver'd from this Prison of Flesh that I may behold Jesus the Light of my Eyes and Joy of my Heart Must I yet continue longer in this banishment What a cross is it to live here What a punishment is the delay Death how welcom wilt thou be in my embraces We must languish with Love after the Infinite Beauty of Jesus Christ and sigh to enjoy him O my Soul do not amuse thy self with Creatures love the Cross which is the high-way to Happiness Is it possible to believe in Jesus Christ and Love him and to languish with Desires to enjoy Him To stand much in fear of Death is a sign we have little desire to see the Infinite Beauties of God seeing Death only opens the gate of Paradice O Death thou art desirable come and put me in possession of the Object of my Love that I may live with Jesus who is the source of Life and the joy of the Blessed In the interim O my Soul let us have neither Love nor Life nor operation but what is in him and for him our Soveraign Happiness Vivit in me Christus Eighth Day Jesus our Light JEsus was present to me in my first Prayer as the Light of the World which discover'd to me such a Beauty in the Mysteries of our Religion with rayes of a new Light that I saw more then ever the vanity of the World and the strange Sottishness of such men who preferr'd the Darkness of Falsehood before the Light of Truth Insanias falsas The beams of this Light works wonders in a Soul for it leaves such impressions as bring her to know Truth in another manner then by the sole Light of Reason or Faith either If we be in the Closet of some great King in the dark we know well there be excellent pieces there we may know their number bigness and value of the Precious Stones the rareness of the Painting and what else we see not But when once the least light of day appears then we begin to have a view of all their Riches Beauties and Excellencies and the whole order of the Closet salutes our eyes and in admiration thereof we are taken with it in an extraordinary manner When it pleases God to give us a sight of his Divine Beauties discovering them to a Soul by the least Ray of his Heavenly Light then the Soul is wonderfully affected and being more then ever transported with admiration looks upon all things of the World as nothing Faith indeed gives us a certain assurance of her Objects but leaves in obscurity But one sole Ray from the Eyes of Jesus when he is pleas'd to dart it into a Soul doth confirm fortifie encourage and refresh her with Illustrations extraordinary and Soveraign consolations Accedite ad eum illuminamini We cannot approach to Jesus and not be enlightned I came to know in my second Prayer that when Jesus is pleas'd to manifest himself to a Soul he infuses a Light into her which gives her a marvellous Facility to believe the Verities of the Word Incarnate She has a certainty and as it were experience that his Thoughts his Words his Actions his Proceedings his Doctrine his Sufferings were Divine and brought a Soveraign Honour to the Divinity O Science of Jesus how art thou sweet and admirable All other knowledge in respect of thee is but ignorance and vanity I have by the great goodness of God had some little experience to know Jesus in this manner but I cannot express it The more this knowledge increases the less is it explicable The profound attention to Jesus does so take up my Spirit that it takes away my Speech It calls me from all Creatures to converse with him alone and draws me out of my self to be ravish'd with him O World how blind art thou not to see the Beauty of the Poor and abject states of Jesus His Doctrine and his Maxims are the only true Light All that thou hast O ignorant World seduced by the Prince of Darkness is but meer Darkness thy opinions thy imployments thy hopes thy fears thy desires thy entertainments are but Darkness and disorder thou stumblest almost at every step because thou walkest in Darkness out of which thou canst never get but by Jesus Christ For as the Sun is the principle of Corporal Light to the World so Christ the Sun of Righteousness is the source of all Spiritual Light and whom his Grace and Doctrine do not enlighten they wander in Darkness Ego sum Lux mundi qui sequitur me non ambulat in tenebris My third Prayer pass'd in continual astonishment in that I had so little known Jesus Christ and of that extreme blindness wherein I had liv'd At present I had almost a continual sight and a sweet and forceable inclination to regard this admirable Object so that I thought every moment lost which was not so imployed To behold him with amorous affections is a Cure for all my evils For when my Soul is afflicted with fears of loosing Gods favour or with experience of her Miseries or with difficulties about Perfection one