forbear to aggravate my torments regard my afflictions and my travel and forgive me all my offences Lord I suffer in my groanings I mingle my Couch with my tears I am pierc't with afflictions on the bed of languishing The earth is not capable to deliver me out of this extremity The heavens alone have the glory of the medicines that are requisite for me Make hast then to come to my deliverance my God who doth dayly comfort me in my distresse and shelter me in all my stormes Lord I am afflicted that I cannot depart more than that I cannot live But good God who hast freed from death the great Shepheard of the flock by the blood of the perpetual Covenant turn thy compallionate countenance towards my torment and cause it to shine upon me in joy and in salvation Lord thou hast instructed me to understand my end and what is the wretchednesse of my dayes But good God since thou hast ordain'd that I must die cause me to depart in thee that Imay live again I have sinned my God I have displeased thee I have a thousand and a thousand times every day provoked thy fury but thou art the God of my deliverance I am washt I am sanctifi'd I am justified by thy grace in the name of Jesus Christ who hath taken my sorrowes upon him and charged my offences upon himself I am a fellow-Citizen of the Saints of thy Houshold I am built upon the foundation of the Prophets and the Apostles Pardon then my sinnes Lord in the name of thy well-beloved Son correct me not in thy displeasure neither chasten me in thy fury have mercy on me that am destitute of strength I beseech thee my God in the bitternesse of my Soul in the words of the Propher David Lord heare my request and make my supplication come unto thee Hide not thy face from me in the time that I am in calamity encline thine ear unto me in the day that I cry unto thee hast thee to answer me for my bones are dryed as an hearth and they cleave to my flesh by reason of my groaning and my time vanisheth away like smoke and as a shadow which passeth away and as for me I am become withered as the grasse Lord I said once again with David Eternal reprove me not in thine indignation thine arrowes have pierc't me and thy hand hath overwhelm'd me there is no entire part in my flesh there is no rest in my bones by reason of my sinne for mine iniquities are gone over my head and are too weighty as â—n heavy burthen above my strength I am bowed down and swerve beyond measure I am weakned and bruised more and more Lord all my desires are before thee and my afflictions are not hid from thee Forsake me not my God be not far from me hast thee and help me All my hope is in thy mercy Lord thou hast spoken by the mouth of thy Prophet Esay I have heard thee in an acceptable season and succoured thee in the day of salvation My God now behold the agreeable time see now the day of salvation Be thou now Lord my Rock and my Fortresse be thou my Deliverer and sure Retrait The snares of death hath surpriz'd me destruction hath environ'd me but I lift up my self to thee my God hearken to my supplication from thy holy place and let my cry enter into thine ears Give me by thy free mercy the wages and entire reward notwithstanding that I entred not into thy Vineyard till at the close of the day shew me thy sight give me life eternal after this fleeting languishing and cransitory life and assure me of heaven to the intent that the grave swallow me not up for ever Grant me my God that when the Saviour of the World shall appear I may appear with him in glory Grant me that I may accompany that infinite number of thine which shall be before the Throne cloathed in long white Robes holding Palms in their hands and that I sing with a loud voyce with them salvation is of our God who is set upon the Throne and of the Lamb. Wash my garment and cleanse it in his innocent blood to the end that I may eternally serve thee in his holy Temple wherein I shall never suffer hunger nor thirst that I be no more molested nor distemper'd with the Sun nor with the Winter nor with miseries my tears and my pains wip't away with thy hand O Lord I am at the last gasp of my life in the agony and shadow of death to thee I direct my latest vowes my last words All my actions have not been better than vanity in respect hereof Good God arme not thy self with vengeance against me I render to thee my penitent Soul deploring languishing which savours of nought but earth and dust to which this carcasse shall be incontinently reduc't I oppose my cryes my tears my requests my plaints and my groans against my condemnation and my fall Let the confession of my mouth the contrition of my heart cause thy Sword to tumble out of thy hands let my gasping move thy goodnesse magnifie not thy power and might against a languishing attenuated immoveable carcasse against withered grasse laid on the earth expecting nought but to be driven away by the smallest blast I am at my end I neither have more power nor heart to offend thee but I may still serve thee to publish thy elemency the foundation of my hope and thy bounty the spring of my life I am thine from the Cradle thou hast sanctified me I have been redeem'd and ransom'd by the blood of thy Son who died innocent to give life to the guilty by the blood of thy Son who must open to me the door of felicity I have my recourse to him I beseech thee in his Name It is not reasonable that my sinnes should violate me in so holy a Sanctuary Rouse thee good God a rise speedily the extremity of my affliction will not admit any delay to the end that these sinnes be not too powerful for me hearken to my prayers give me strength to prevail against these billowes that drive me off from the heavenly shoar hast thee to absolve me preserve in thy hands my Soul lest it remain a prey drive these sins our of thy presence which are the work of thine enemy and Lord pardon me that am the work of thine hands Lord I render praise for that thou hast made me capable to participate of the heritage of Saints in thy light for that thou hast delivered me from the power of darknesse and hast transported me to the Kingdome of thy well-beloved Son in whom I have deliverance and remission from my sins Lord I perceive the establishment of thine assistance I feel my self replenish't with thy Holy Spirit who effaces my transgressions and ravisheth my Soul even unto heaven to shew him the inheritance which the mercy of thy Son hath bestowed on me in thy presence O good God! how blessed shall I be to hear from thy Holy Spirit that the last of my dayes shall be the first of my repose that I am not farther from my satisfaction than the length of the last groan of my life I am approaching Lord to thy Throne of grace with assurance to obtain mercy by the vertue of my High Priest who hath compassion on my infirmities I am coming to behold thee face to face whereas now I discern thee but darkly as in a mirrour I am quitting these miseries for a fulness of delight from these dolors into the Mountain of Syon from this Militant to the Triumphant Jerusalem from this World to the City of the living God I voluntarily cease to live on the Earth to survive in heaven I contentedly part with this wretched life for that which is most happy I chearfully quit my self to follow thee I abandon this carcasse and render my Soul into thy hands FINIS
and contempt will not he break up his Family from whence he reaps nought but vexation So the Master of the world who is without intermission affronted by our vices will he not withdraw from the midst of us his graces the testimonyes of his presence will he not approach us in his anger to destroy and to afflict us under his stormes He is Just he is Omnipotent his power marcheth equal pace with his pleasure he will crush his enemies he will terryfie them after such a sort as to disable them to Rally or reunite he will cause them to tremble under his sword as eares of corne under the siccle their bodyes torne and dismember'd with wounds shall be a pray to salvage beasts they shall serve as food for Ravens he will inflict on the children the rigour of his revenging lawes for their fathers offences he will punish the transgression in the Race who shall shrivel and fade with a shameful brand on the brow of the Nephewes and in vain would men ward his blows in vain will they sly before his face For neither the thundering Cannons nor the sharp sword nor the high Bullwarks nor the most inaccessible Mountaines nor the whole universs rang'd in battel array can preserve them of whom he hath vowed to take vengeance Let all the ungodly rally themselves let them assemble he would destroy them at one stroak he would reduce them into one handful of ashes ☞ into nothing such is his force that he can vanquish his enemies and not onely overturne them but entice and dragge them and their Armies and tumble them for ever head-long into the gulph of darknesse belching with fire and carcasses fil'd with despaires and horrours wherein they shall be tormented without intermission without having a thousand millions of yeares of exquisite torments to be esteemed as one only point of eternity in which they shall languish suffer and endure perpetually with rage the racks the flames and what ever can be imagined dreadful The Lord is living in truth saith Jeremiah he is living in judgement and justice erem 4. wherefore cloath you in sack-cloth lament and howle Direct the ensigne toward Sion retire together and tarry not for feare lest his anger break forth as fire and that it doth not inflame by reason of the wickednesse of your deeds Let us beware then that we be not of those accursed flourishing like the lawrell but are suddenly vanish't Psal 37. suddenly they are no more and are in a Moment destroyed with their transgressions Let us beware that we are not of those reprobates which have been beaten and have felt no smart Jerem. 5.3 warn'd and hardned their hearts rejecting admonition and refusing to turn unto the Lord Num. 2.4 nor contemning the riches of his goodnesse of his patience and long-suffering which excites us which calleth us and which so long a time envites us to repentance God liveth for ever He is Great He is Omnipotent He is Dreadful He will be Redoubted will you not feare me saith He will you not tremble before my face I can do all all things are in my hand I have plac't the sand for limits to the Sea I have fixt his waves within the shore that they may not passe beyond them what then shall we persist still in our crimes shall our own feet search out the snares of our desolation what shall we again lance out selves into the depth of the torrent to the end that the stream of the water overslowing may carry us away shall we again thrust the sword into our bosomes that our own hands should give us a wretched death we did I say from whom God hath taken the vaile from our eyes on whom he hath bestowed holy and manifest instructions we allyed to the Divinity Shall we abandon heaven shall we quit the faithful and saving counsel of that truth to plunge our selves into the world and precipitate our selves into these vices God hath instructed us in his wayes He hath taught us his paths He hath with his own mouth cutsed the wicked we know that we ought to love him with all our hearts and with all our mindes that He ought to be Renowned for his judgments that our salvation should be more deare and precious to us than all the vain pleasures and false treasures which can sustaine this perishable earth How is it then that we follow the Prince of Darknesse which worketh effectually in us as the children of rebellion How do we swerve out of the course how break we out of the Park to expose our selves to be abandon'd to Wolves What considerations can deliver us up to the concupiscence of our flesh without judgment without reason Bethink with our selves that Satan does surmount that he blinds and besots us We are of those of whom Paul speaks who having known the righteousnesse of God which understand that they which commit such things are worthy of death and neverthelesse plunge our selves therein we are inexcusable saith he for that having the knowledge of God we glorifie him not as God neither render him praise for his benefits but are vain in our discourse having our our Hearts filled with Darknesse Let us then remember how we have been enlightned that we have been partakers of the Holy Spirit that we have tasted of the heavenly gift the Word of God and the power of the World to come and that all his blessings having been heap't upon us we again crucifie the Some of God in following the tracts of iniquity Heb 6.4 and as much as in us lies exposing him to contempt Come then let us force Fountains of teares to issue from our eyes let us from the bottome of our hearts cause sighths and regreats to arise which may produce the fruits of repentance 'T is time to set our affaires in order the houre presseth us the season hasteth us the mischief is at hand if suits not our purpose to slumber the defluxion of this poison choakes us Let us awake awake our selves from death Ephe. 5.41 2 Tim. 2.26 that Christ may enlighten us and cause us to escape the snare of the Devil by the which we have been taken for to accomplish his will Be we not like to rebellious people disobedient Rom. 10 22. gain-saying which turne our backs on the Lord while he calleth us and stretcheth out the hands of his mercy towards us Let 's walk altogether according to the Spirit Gal. 5.16 chasing away the covetousnesse of our flesh we very well understand which is the sure path for the conduct of our worldly affaires and can we not also discern that which is just and what is necessary for our salvation since 't is thither that we ought to move our hands whether our cares should tend where all our labours should terminate since we understand nothing is more happy for man than what is proposed To follow the way tract him out by the finger of God
surprise us hell attends to torment us within it's horrours and the dreadful gulph is prepar'd to open his jawes eternally to consume us in his flames Meditations upon Repentance MY Soul Jerusalem the heritage of the Lord the beloved City hath transgressed she was not cleansed from the pollution of her feet neither hath she been mindful of her end wherefore she hath been rendred desart solitary and a prey to the Gentiles My soul Corah Dathan and Abiram for not having obeyed the Lord Num. 16 were punish't by the earth who opened her jawes and swallowed them in her gulph Mat. 24.25 The servant supriz'd in debauchery is punish't separated and ranck't with hypocrites Mat. 25.1 And the Virgins for being but a little separate from the Bridge-groom have found the door for ever clos'd against them These are the Judgments pronounc't by the Word of God who is High Penetrating and Effectual These are the Judgments pronounc't against them who stop their eares at the voice of the Saviour of the World Mat. 4.17 Who cryeth on the Earth amend you for the Kingdome of God is at hand Act. 3.19 Mat. 3.7 Amend you and be ye converted that your sins may be effaced Fly from the wrath to come bring forth fruit meet for repentance My soul be apprehensive then of the judgments of God Consider of thine own salvation apprehend so many new plagues which from the incensed heaven thou beholdest tumbling upon thee Consider so many woes that environ thee and such numberlesse fore-runners of future miseries Prevent the vengeance of God by humility and penance that so thou mayest not be prevented by his wrath Imitate the humble Dove who creeps into the bottome of the shrubs beholding afar off the ravenous Eagle cutting and dividing the aire with his wings and hasting to surprize her Fill the aire with thy sighths and regreates for thy vices even to the very bitternesse of thysoul cast forth cryes of displeasure and repentance demean thy self as altogether dejected altogether wasted perfectly penitent even at the foor-stool of the Lord spread forth thy hands toward his mercy addresse thy voes and most ardent supplications unto him to divert from thee the flames of his wrath and to appease his indignation Importune thy Saviour with so many plaints with so many sacrifices of praise thereby to shake the Sword out of his Hand Force the Kingdom of heaven and ravish it with violence Mat. 11.12 whil'st a means of reconciliation is open and be careful not to procrastinate till the day when the door shall be most securely bar'd Go to then my Soul defer not longer make hast to cover thy head with ashes and lamentations cause to distill tears of acknowledgment of thy sinnes and raise up thy meditations on high to avoid thy Destruction Retire thy self from the presse of the World and dispose thy self as the Pelican who seeketh the least frequented the most solitary places Come out of Babylon and follow the way of the heavenly Jerusalem propose for a pattern Jacob Abraham Moses Elias who retired from Mesepotamia from Caldea from Egypt and from the Court of Samaria Imitate the great Legislator of the Hebrewes Moses who separated himself from the multitude and went to the Mountain of Sinai the more freely to converse with God My soul be not like the inhabitants of Corazin and Bethsaida who shall be more rudely handled in the day of Judgement Mat. 11.21 than those of Tyre Sydon and of Sodome for that they were not reformed at the Word of the Lord. Contrarily immitate those of Hierusalem Mat. 3.5 of Judea and of the Country about Jordan which ran unto St. John who prepared the path of the Saviour of the world Oppose to the Justice of God his proper succours oppose the bloodshed by his Son oppose thy prayers thy vowes thy fasting and thy repentance He had decreed the sacking and ruine of Ninivâ— yet notwithstanding as soone as thy had bewaild their faults he suspended his decree sanctifie then a fast my sonne rend thy heart with teares and lamentations in the presence of thy God Returne unto him He is mercifull he is pityfull slow to anger and abundant in kindnesse In ancient times by a perpetual Ordinance 't was expresly commanded to his people to celebrate a fast on the tenth day of the seventh month which was the solemne feast of Propitiations He had ordained them to afflict their souls and to refrain from labour For as much as the Priest made a propitiation for them to the end they might be clensed from their sinnes in his presence This day my soul is the feast of propitiations to thee wherein 't is thy duty to be converted to the Lord. Imitate then the people afflict thy self masserate thy flesh with watchings and fastings to the intent thou may'st be the more strong and cry with the Priests who wept betwixt the Portck and the Altar Joel 2.16 Pardon me my God and expose not thy Heritage to Reproach Lord I lament before thee I seek by amendment of life to take a resolution to follow thee I humble my self I abase my self to attaine even unto the heavens But Lord for to approach to thee it 's requisite I retyre altogether out of my self and that I can no way effect without the succours of thy hand Lord the very Angels tremble in adoring thee and I wretched and abominable sinner manifest no token of astonishment I quake not I have not an humbled heart nor eyes drowned in teares I much desire it my God I heartily wish it but it 's impossible without thy grace For if thou Prevents not the wicked by thy compassion he can never amend A man revolted and slip't into disobedience returns not unto thee without the conduct of thy spirit Enlighten them Lord my soul by the operation of thy holy Spirit prevent its cold and slothfulnesse Pierce it with a thousand stings and thousands remorces of conscience to the end he may discover his malady unto thee and that to thee he may make his heat and anguish appear to obtain remedy Lord thou art the wise Pilot of my squiffe tottering at the mercy of the waves thou art not ignorant of the stormes and the floods that batter this fraile vessel thou art the bright and shining lanthorne which must be the Bear-star in all extremityes to guide to direct this poore Barke on this raging Sea Guard me then from ship-wrack rebuke the winds who mutiny against me and confederate together are set against my sayles Strike from the highest heaven one considerable stroke to engrave in my heart the lively impressions of the love of thee and to dispose my spirit to thy service Open my eyes as thou did'st the servant of Elisha encline my eares to thy Word arme my conscience against my flesh and make to arise out of this stone a childe of Abraham Mine iniquities are now against thy pleasure but then shall my
am the prodigal child famish't covered with raggs I have sinned against thee embrace me my Father Extinguish with thy hand these burning Torches which consume me these fire-brands of desolation these so abominable crimes To the intent that these chaines of my captivity being broken I may recover my liberty in thy grace to my salvation to the glory of thy Name and the confusion of Satan Lord my end is certaine if thou stanch'st not the blood which streams from my wounds Banish me not from my presence turne no thy countenance from me with-draw not thy clemency which sheweth it selfe after thy displeasure and which should not be of use if men lived innocently Drive far from me that cursed spirit who from the beginning separated thy creature from thee Chase away that old enemy whose ambushes are so prom't and whose assaults so rude Adorne and Decke my heart with the spoyles of my sinnes dispose me to walke with thee from the dawning facilitate my teares and fill me with a desire of my salvation Cause me to forsake all mundane contagion and plunge me in the pleasant streames of a holy and a peaceable life give me an esteeme of this chast and ravishing penetence which opens me a passage into thy holy habitation which may bury my transgressions and swallow my vanities under an eternal oblivion Lord I lament bitterly before thee I poure forth my teares of complaint which without drying drench my soul in bitternesse and dissolves it in displeasures I present my self to thee with an humbled and frozen spirit a soul afflicted and touch't with true repentance Receive then my God this penetent sinner be thou apt to pardon destroy not thine own worke Approach unto me my God cause to wither in me this multitude of plants of perdition who produce these fruits of iniquity and helpe my Mallady without indignation Manasses prostrated himself before Idols he profaned thy Altars yet never the lesse he being converted unto thee and repenting his impieties he appeased thee Thou delivered'st him from the hands of the Assyrians and from the fetters wherein thou had'st caused him to fall and returnd'st him a glorious King commander of Palestine And I Lord I present thee my homage with a contrite spirit stifle and choke not then my heavynesse and my life Exercise not thy power on me to my destruction who am thine cause not to descend on me thy punishments from heaven stigmatise me not with an eternal infamy but open Lord unto me the gate of thy mercy Dan. 10.12 and give eare to my supplycation as thou did'st unto Daniel from the first day he afflicted himself before thee Thy coming was to call sinners to repentance Luke 5.32 Thou commandest thy Apostles to go unto the lost sheep Mat. 10.6 I am of that number cause me then in the midst of this displeasure to experience thy comiseration Luk. 8.24 the Tempest is descended on the lake my bark leakes I am in hazzard awake thy self my God rebuke the wind appease the waves and make it calm By the example of Daniel with fasting sackcloth and ashes I addresse my face toward thee Thou strong Thou great Thou terrible God I have sinned I have committed iniquity I am estranged from thy Law Lord to thee belongs Justice to me confusion but mercies and compassions are likewise from thee Turne away then thy displeasure and indignation hearken to my supplycations and cause thy holy Spirit to shine on thy desolate servant I belong to thine election I am an inheritor of the merit of thy Son and have my lot and portion in heaven Regard me then Lord in him for in his countenance in his wounds thou canst not deny me pardon The father defers till the last to cut off his members He weeps he grones in severing them Thou art my Father good God suspend thy stroaks restrain them have compassion on my ashes who am lesse then ashes and of the lees and scum of the world Purifie them after such a manner that they be not annihilated let them not be forsaken of thee who have deserted thee If they be reduc't to nought thou canst not extract glory from them for in nothing nought is found but nothing it self I say not my God that thou hast created these eyes to make them endure so much and to dissolve themselves into streames For Lord their eye-lids have exalted themselves against thee They are the reason that thou assistest me not farther with thy favours after such a manner that they ought to distill into teares untill they have encountered the port of thy clemency which now files them and with-drawes it selfe away from their sight Lord wilt thou be stedfast in thy wrath wilt thou wage war with an earth-worme wilt thou regard the weight of my offences and not that of thy goodnesse I am guilty of errours and crimes but I am cover'd with ashes and teares I am a sinner but created with the sweet and fragrant breath of thy mouth I am cover'd with offences but thou art the Father of grace the Father of salvation the Father of compassion and in saving me thou conservest the work of thy hands in blessing me thou repleatest thy selfe with joy and delight Receive then Lord my prayer that it be not lost and vanish into ayre Hearken to my mouth and my throat which consumes with crying and give eare to their groans Give remedy to that distemper whose birth I ought to avoyd stretch forth and abase thy hand here below to succour me drive back by the powerfull motions of thy browes the plagues which threaten me Speak unto me as unto the Paralitick and save me by thy grace I resemble blind Bartimeus Mat. 10.47 who lifted up his voyce to thee and redoubled his intercessions equal to their reproofs and rebuks to the intent he should hold his peace My offences by the brute of their obscure gloominess will drowne the cleernesse of my voyce but being fortified by thy holy Spirit I take courage I reinforce my self and attaine the victory Mat. 5.1 Lord thou hast expelled Legions of unclean spirits out of their bodyes who presented themselves before thee Chase then from the those offences which I cannot tame drive away these miseries which by a divine vengeance vissibly torment me Lord glory not in thy Puissance against me to make thy self Renowned Display not thy force against me since with one glance of an eye thou may'st discomfit me neither can I sustaine thy presence Rifle me dart thy flames from heaven I acknowledge I have deserved more The World But Lord this great City would become desolate if nothing should remain is' t but what thou would'st absolve in the severity of thy justice and thou art the pitiful Father who givest more terrour than stripes and delightest rather to restore than to destroy Thou hastest to receive the cryes of one penitent sinner if he repents himself thou pardonest him and as he addes
this spiritual wine which giveth me an eternal Paradice which returneth me from death to life which giveth me so perfect a recovery that there remaines no scar in my ulcers which conducts me unto an estate wherein I shall not more suffer the temptations and approaches of sinne where I shall be no more subject to change where I shall be a Citizen of the Kingdome of heaven I prostrate my self then before thee my God who art my Judge my Creatour and Redeemer all in one give me I beseech thee both heart and lips and that I may adore thee with all the affections and all the faculties of my soul Drive away my disobedient humours fill me with true zeal and with sincere intentions to thy service and scatter far from me these desires of the world who entangle themselves in my cogitations and thwart my holy resolution I am happy my God Isa 22.7 to enjoy that which so many Kings Nahum 1.15 and so many Prophets desir'd to behold I am happy to possesse that holy Heritage which they having but obscurely seen and saluted by faith they have cryed out with vehement desire Rom. 10. â— 15.5 Oh how beautiful are the feet of those who preach the Ghospel I am not Lord in the extremity of the poor Paraletick who attended so many yeares to have the first place in the Bath troubled by thy Angel I receive immediately my recovery of the blood of my Saviour and there is no need that one more sound than my self take me in his armes to embrace and carry me into the water For the Faith which thou hast given me lifts me up even unto heaven She thither conducts my soul which washeth her self in this pretious blood and comes forth clean and white I sinne continually and have cause of humiliation and to dread and apprehend Death and Hell and I am ever cheered with hope by the memory of that Eternal Sacrifice But my God make me so perfect that I receive not thy Manna unworthily that I take it not in contempt of thy Word and thy glory to be punish't in thy wrath as he who was devoured of a Lyon having contrary to thy command eaten bread in the house of the false Prophet to be punish't as he who was bound and cast into darknesse inasmuch as he came to the marriage without being cloathed with a Wedding garment Lord I know that 't is recorded in the Gospel that who so eateth of this bread and drinketh of this cup unworthily shall be guilty of the body and blood of Jesus Christ thy Son But my God Thou art Wonderful in thy mercies Thou rejectest no man Thou abhorrest not the Thief who confest thee nor the sinner who wept nor the Canaanite who accused her self Mary Magdalen nor the Disciple who denied Jesus nor even they themselves who persecuted thee insomuch as they repented And I Lord I confesse my sinnes I condemne them I accuse my self I beg thy pardon I entreat thee to behold thy goodnesse not my demerit Lord Thou hast vanquish't death thou hast raised my soul from the grave thou hast drawn me out of the pit thou hast opened to me the gates of eternal life Supply then my defaults with thy blessings and grant me that in thy Temple in the Assembly of thy faithful ones I may worthily receive with faith this heavenly food and this spiritual drink and that I take with zeal and reverence the bread and wine which are presented to me by him who hath the honour to preach thy Word and whose mouth is the breast of thy Church A Thanksgiving after the receiving of the Sacrament My Soul blesse the Lord who dayly filleth and loadeth thee with his treasures Blesse God who causeth the sweet dew of his Clemency to distill on thee My Soul blesse the Saviour of the World who hath loved us who hath washed our sinnes in his blood who hath made us Kings and Priests to God his Father Blessed be the Lamb who sitteth upon the Throne Apoc. 5 13 to whom shall resound prayses for ever under the Vaults of heaven and his Sacred Name shall be Celebrated and Magnified from age to age Oh my glorious God how much satisfaction do I receive in casting and overthrowing my self at thy feet how happy am I to approach thy holy Table 'T is thou oh my God who hast tamed the Hidra of my miseries who hast preserved me from the devouring knives of the Devil who hast succoured me in my bloody agony who hast recented my afflictions seeing me exposed to the Savageness of the infernal Tygers who had reduc't me to the cruel darts of death I was buried in despair and in the grave swallowed and overwhelmed in the jawes of a miserable servitude overtaken with the storme of so many mis-fortunes But my God by thy singular compassion though I bedewed not my face with tears nor filled the ayre with my complaints Thou hast restored me to my first condition thou hast imbellish't me with-the splendour of the graces of thy countenance and pollish't me with the first lustre of my natural beauty I was overwhelm'd under my proper ruine I was entomb'd in the gulfe di gged with my own hands I had cast my self within the horrible Den of Satan but thou hast restored me thou hast lifted me up and delivered me from my extremities I was captive and now the gate of liberty is open to me my vessel was on every side batter'd with the Tempest It was ready to split it self against the bancks and now saileth gloriously on the water and cuts and divides the waves driven by a prosperous gale I was the prey of Satan and now triumph through thy mercies above all his temptations above all his ambushes and all his powers I cry out now Lord with Simeon let thy servant depart in peace according to thy Word for mine eyes have seen thy salvation which thou hast prepared before all men to be the enlightning of all Nations and glory of thy people Israel Lord I render thee such thanks as I am able not such as I ought I am oblidg'd to magnifie thy Name for ever with a thousand sacrifices of praise to humble my self all contrite at thy feet to enflame my heart with repentance and sacrifice the ashes to thee Thou hast cleansed me wash't me from my offences made me approach thy holy Table and partaker of thy merits there remaines nothing after this Sacrament but to be united to thy glory Grant me Lord that I may submit to thy pleasure the remainder of my dayes Grant me repentance of my offences not for a day but which may last even unto my Sepulchre that I may continually addresse my vowes to thee that I may exalt thee without ceasing and that for ever I may be at thy feet to do thee homage as my God my Soveraign and my Redeemer Grant me Lord that I may be attentive to the reading of thy holy Scriptures to the
the only vertue whereof shal fix establish this handful of earth higher than the heavens I already perceive the rayes of his divine grace which begin to shine over my soul I feel in my self the assistance of his holy Spirit Away then all worldly cares get you behind me be packing and approach no more You are nothing but corrupt water but rottennesse then infection in respect of those heavenly beauties of those odorifferous and fragrant flowers which cast forth so sweet a sent which surpriseth my spirit and ravisheth me in the contemplation of them But good God pain and torment cuts off my speech whilst I implore thee consider my malady which reinforces it self which redoubles its violence It appears to me that my feavour is obstinate to revenge on my flesh and on my bones the offences committed against thee the heat stifles me the chilnesse causeth the members of my feeble carcasse to shiver to sustain and endure a thousand torments I can do no more but sighth and bemoan my self I languish all wounded quite undone and my vigour hourely wasts and decayes I am thirsty my mouth is dry I can find nothing that can quench my infinite drought my feavour takes away from me the relish of every thing all liquors seem bitter all food is against stomach their very sight is nautious not so much as the thought I swallow my spittle instead of all nourishment Alas Lord I well perceive what will become of me I cannot longer resist the assaults of so many evils all the succours of the earth are too feeble to heal me my countenance droops its extinct my members begin to feel the rigour of death I tosse and tumble up and down I stretch my self and am no more I court a little repose a little sleep but it flyes me I can obtaine none Alas formerly my repose descended and dropt so pleasantly into my eyes The night was accustomed to bury all my cares to give truce to my labours to enclose all my torments in a grateful slumber I ever adjourn'd my trouble untill the day untill the Sun came to open mine eyes But now Lord I cannot with great difficulty close my eyes to slumber but instantly I waken my self affrighted with the terrour of a thousand dreams with a thousand horrible visions which appear before me successively The silence of the night which was so agreeable to me at present redoubles my horrours my eye-lids are inclined to watch perpetually my infirmity increases dayly its rigour and violence recovers new force every moment and oppresseth me the more it gains upon me Lord thou hast made adversity as saith the Prophet Amos thou hast created it as saith Isaiah and nothing comes upon us but by thy just providence as Job hath acknowledged in the extremity of his affliction Alas my God thy judgments are perfect I feel the effects of thy fury the weight of thine Arme I submit and render my self to thy mercy cure not my evil by another apply not remedies more sharp than the distemper have pity on my sufferings At least Lord prevent that the tediousnesse of my pain discompose not offend not nor overturn my spirit continue my judgment to me to the intent that I may employ that little time which remaines to meditate and consider thy graces and to beg my pardon Lord thou hast caused waters to flow out of the rock and to refresh thy people in the Desart cause to spring out of my faith a fountain to refresh my scaldings and to give intermission to my evils to the end that my soul fil'd with a divine zeal may wholly raise up her self to heaven and civert from this carcasse the sense of its miseries Lord Lord approach thee near to me my voyce cannot convey my sorrowes even to thy eares and so my miseries shall surpasse my plaints Lord from thy Royal Palace from thy holy and sacred Throne thou considerest all that is acted here below Alas incline thy countenance to my aid assistance redouble not more the extremities of my feavour augment not my sufferings I understand good God that by the destruction of this carcasse my Soul must enter into its felicity but cause what remains to dissolve easily cause that my natural faculties diminish by degrees and that my Soul may depart gently and from the midst of this bed she may fly to thee Lord my breath is so short my infirmity is so violent my dissolution is so near that I behold nothing but the shadow of my Coffin and the depth of my grave which attends me My half dead body makes me utter interrupted speeches my words vanish in my mouth and willing to continue my complaints I cannot make an end Alas good God I fear that my voyce will forsake me strengthen me for awhile or at least be so gracious that in my Soul I may acknowledge my faults and obtain thy pardon Grant me that the short time I have to live may be nothing else but a penitence for my sinnes and a meditation of thy goodnesse that I may not delight but in the sound of thy voice that thy holy volume may be in lieu of a pillow that my heart that my spirit may breath forth and contemplate thy praises Lord my distemper is so violent that it suffocates me yet notwithstanding it oppresseth me not so much as the vast number of my sinnes which I observe hasting before me and the punishment that followes I tremble when I turn my eyes toward thee great God revenger of iniquities which enlightneth and pierceth through the shadowes and remarkest the tracts of all my offences Thou beholdest my conscience without any vail without ornament all my cognitations are open to thee the past and present are both alike before thee thou readest during the course of my life the train of my offences that I have committed thou beholdest thy enemy in my habitation thou findest him inclosed in my bosome My voyce should ever sound in thy eares it ought incessantly to cause thy praises to eccho upon the earth on the contrary my mouth hath ever been open to blasphemies closed to thy Word Thou hast given me a spirit to know thee a heart to adore thee hands to stretch forth to the support and relief of my neighbour I am revolted from thee I have despised the afflicted and have avoided the path of the poor and needy fearing their ran-counter I have avoided their company as if I had dreaded to behold them When thy heaven hath thundred I have stopt my eares I have rendred my self deaf When thy Sun hath cast forth his beames upon me I have made my self blind when thou hast sought after me I have fled away when thou hast called me I have not answered when thou hast corrected I have been hardned at thy stroakes Inlieu of sacrifising my life for thine honour I have continually betrayed thy service I am abandoned to vices I have serv'd riches the follies and vanities
of the world the executioners of my life I have been immoderate and excessive in every thing which is contrary to thy pleasure without having other bound than an imbicility to advance farther My memory Lord is not sufficient to comprehend and enumerate such a multitude of crimes and I now have more bashfulnesse to nominate them than I had shame to act them Also Lord what need the trouble to recount them seeing they present themselves they oppose themselves against me accusing and confounding me seeing that the least but lately committed is sufficient for my damnation without the trouble to search after the past which serve not but for astonishment how the nature of man could invent and commit so many mischiefs Behold them Lord they fail not to passe into my remembrance and as an heavy burthen presse me so sore that I am ready to yield to give my self up to dispayre and to lose my self Lord I cannot so much as deny them I have committed them they were acted in thy sight in thy presence with a feeble fearful and astonish't voyce I acknowledge them and am vanquish't the fear that I have beholding their great number hath frozen my heart and appaled my countenance And on the contrary considering the rigour and strictnesse of thy judgments my sense fails me and I attend nothing but the hour of punishment I will willingly lye down instantly half quick in my grave and in expiring draw the earth over me to the intent I may remove my self from before thy Justice so much do I dread that thy hand will wax heavy against me to destroy me I am like the poor Publican who durst not lift up his eyes towards thee I dare not so much as entertain any imagination of remission for a criminal so culpable I dispayre to avoid them even as undergoing the exemplar-punishment of my abominable practises The depravity of my manners renders the severity of thy censures sharp against me and I know that no man hath place in thy eternal felicity but those that are clensed from sin who are not fullyed with the spots of iniquity who have submitted and dedicated to thy service their hearts and their toungs as for me I have done quite otherwise Neverthelesse Lord thou wilt not bruise in thine indignation those whom thou hast created after thine own Image Thou wilt not precipitate into the gulf and forsake abandoned to the roring Lyon those who are graffed and regenerated in that great Mediatour in the grand Saviour of the world On the contrary Good God! Thou hast commanded us to pray to thee in his name Thou hast promised to hear us in his name Thou hast assured us that when our sins are as red as vermillion nevertheless thou wilt make them as white as wool seeing we have recourse to that Treasure of our Justification to that only Redeemer to that only Authour of our salvation Now O Saviour of the world O Precious Stone O Spirit of my Spirits I embrace thee I discharge the burthen of my sins upon thee I ease my self upon thee Thou art purposly descended here below thou art clothed with out flesh thou hast made thy self man to the intent that I might be able to speak to thee Thou hast stretc'h forth thy limbs on the Crosse thou hast shed thy blood thou haft seen it distil from thy wounds all vermillion to heal my mortal sores to dround my sinnes to cloath me again with innocence Thou hast suffered death to give me the life Thou hast made thy self the oblation and most immaculate offering to take upon thy self the pains which I have meritted Thou hast yielded thy self captive to set me at liberty of immortal thou hast made thy self mortal to the intent that of mortal to render me immortal Thy vertue ever flourisheth that never waxeth old display it over me approach touch my sins and they shall dissolve away as wax before the beames of thy Sun they cannot remain near thee thy sight shall be their flight thy presence their dissipation Thou shalt efface their steps and their straglings Thy hand can bruise the gate of hell thy hand can lift me up into the heavens and make me to ascend by the ladder that appeared to Jacob Lord I cannot sufficiently comprehend thy infinite goodnesse towards persons so vile and unworthy If I contemplate the excellence of thy Divinity in thy descent unto the earth or whether I consider them to whom thou art come I admire the Grandure of thy charity and farther Ruminating thereon I call to mind the happinesse of thy humane condition The Creatour of heaven and of earth The Omnipotent who is not displeas'd but with man is descended for man and made himself man is come to save him from the torture of the fire and the horrors of hell and hath taken his forme the Physitian is hasted to the succour of the diseased the Master to ransome the slaves the streight path presents it self to the straglers Life offers it self to the carcasses enclosed under the Tombs the Shepheard is descended from the top of the mountain to seek the straying sheep He hath again lifted them up on high and enclos'd them in his Fold The Hen hath gathered her chickings under her breast hath made a shield with her wings to protect them from the Ravenous Kite Now good God drive far from me those doubts which Satan goes about to frame in me assure me comfort my spirit fortifie my faith redouble it's strength make her to vanquish all fears all the dispayres which he would suggest unto her Enable her to repel all allutements and assaults of all his temptations She must not longer be affraid she may not longer tremble hell can have nothing against me seeing thine only Sonne hath taken my sinnes upon him because he hath wash't me with his pure blood after it hath pleas'd thee to allow on mine account the value of his satisfaction If thou art pleas'd Lord to proceed with me according to my deserts I should be far distant from any such happinesse my salvation would be desperate There was never any contention with so much disproportion the weapons are too unequal my fault is extreame so is thy Justice But Lord thy mercy is infinite thy goodness surpasseth my mallice Thou coverest my faults with the body of thy Son by his merit thou hast satisfied thy Justice Thou hast given me life there thou concervest me I hold of thy clemency Lord Thou hast spoken by the mouth of thy Prophets that thou art nigh to such as are of a broken heart and that thou deliverest such which have contrite spirits Lord thou contemnest not the afflicted thou hidest not thy face from them forget not then my oppression forget not my afflictions which are violent and permanent forget not the sorrowes of my heart which are augmented Lord my Soul is consumed even to the dust my belly cleaves to the earth Hear then my God myclamour and my supplication and