slip have I not made it more my business to seem Religious then really to be so how much of the Patience of God have I abus'd refusing his calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the grace of God into wantonness In stead of returning gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am Asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebell and a Traitor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justice even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O Spare me for thy mercies sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justifi'd if Thou lay Judgment to the line and equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted againe Bring me to the Bloud of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowleg my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned o Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy son or thy servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in thine For this I am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physitian of Souls from thy Pitty alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy mercifull hand doe not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devill and my Lusts and without thy Succor can never hope to get free O Lord for give my Sin and heal my Soul deliver and save me for thy mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy mercy thou hast mercyfully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhorr my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy H. Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon then we can be to Repent T is thy Delight and Glory agreable to thy nature and declared Name as a God gracious and mercifull slow to Anger and of great Kindness fergiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy thro the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowfull Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer erre from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will o God and write thy Law upon my heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evill of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which thro the power of Temptation and the deceitfullness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and robb'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider wither it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more then ordinary kindness of his Providence c. and impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your watchfullness the neglect of serious closet devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vaine Company venturing too far in lawfull or indifferent Things too much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuell incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinfull least by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return againe with seven worse then himself and so your latter end be worse then your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out againe when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhorr the Sin and resolve to quitt it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therfore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfullness and every morning implore divine succors against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amaleck will prevail againe assoon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strengh and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gaine by your loss stand the faster by your
which way to turn he hath made my Path plaine Under sinking Disapointments he hath commanded Succour and been a present Help in the time of Trouble In Great Perplexities his Eye hath been my Guide and his own Arm hath brought Salvation it may be by the Ministry of his H. Angels obeing his order and giving unusual Intimations of very great and otherwise unsuspected Dangers or sending Relief and Deliverance by such small unlikely and unexpected Means as carried the name of God visibly ingraven on them Innumerable Calamities he saves me from which Others groan under and as many Blessings am I favor'd with whereof they are destitute He Spreads my Table and fills my Cup and gives me All Things richly to enjoy when many Excellent Persons of whom the World is not worthy are fed with the bread of Affliction and the Water of Affliction Others have only Necessaries or but few Conveniencies in Comparison with the Plentifull Provisions God hath made for my Chearfull Obedience to Him. And shall I not Praise Him for the precious Things of Heaven the blessings of the Earth the dew and the deep and more especially for the Goodwill of Him who dwelt in the Bush to sanctifie and sweeten All Wherby Common Mercies become the pledge and fore-runner of better Things as the fruit of his Special kindness the witness of his Truth and the seed of Peace and Joy and Righteousness and Praise by reason of his Blessing on all that I possess which otherwise would prove a snare and a Temptation and be intermixt with a Curse And besides the ordinary and Continued Bounty of every Day in the midst of how may Difficulties and Dangers Deut. 33. v. 13.14 have I felt the dear obligations of his Preserving Mercy abroad and at home in forreign Countries as well as my own in the midst of Enimies and among Friends in all Places and at all Times He hath prolonged my Health or made my Bed in Sickness He hath often granted the Desires of my Heart when ever it was for his Glory and contradicted my wishes and disapointed my Endeavors in other Instances when it was more to my Advantage From how many Mischiefs hath he sav'd me by such Things as I deprecated and would have hinder'd How many Evills hath he turn'd for Good He hath heard my Cry in the day Adversity and set my feet in a large Place He hath Chasten'd me for my Profit His Rod and his Staff have comforted me He hath spoken comfortably to me in the Wilderness Affliction hath been usefull and necessary Physick made an Instrument of Vertue and so a token of his Love. Therfore I will sing of the Mercy of the Lord for ever and with the voice of Thanksgiving will make known his Faithfullnes He hath all along conducted me by his Wisdom guided me by his Providence and the Angel of his Presence hath directed my Path and ordered all my Goings He hath been a Cloud to me by Day and a Pillar of Fire by night he hath helped me in my Straits and suppli'd my wants and comforted me in all my sadnesses His powerfull and gracious Presence hath been my constant Guard and his Soveraign never-failing Goodness hath compast me about with Mercy on every side For which O most Mercifull Father my Soul and all that is within me desires to speak thy Praise Ps 89. v. 1. The advantagious Circumstances of many divine Favors do raise their value and deserve to be particularly observ'd and and acknowledged How suitably how seasonably how wisely hath he conser'd his Benefits with what Tenderness and Kindness with what Freedom and Readiness Of his own bounty and goodwill without any Necessity or Obligation on his Part without any desert and Sometimes without so much as a Prayer on mine And what is more notwithstanding my Ingratitude and Forgetfullness of Him and great Provocations heigthned by the abuse of so much Mercy demanding nothing after all in requital of so much Kindness but my Acceptance of his Love and gratefull sense of his Goodness and the sweetest and most reasonable Expressions of it by Thankfull Obedience More especially would I Bless the Lord for Inlightening my mind in the Great Mysteries of Religion disposing in wonderfull Wisdom the several means and methods wherby he brought me to the Knowledg of the Truth by Parents Ministers Friends Acquaintance Books Afflictions c. Beginning with me in Childhood awakening and cultivating the inbred notions of God and natural Religion of Good and Evil Rewards and Punishments by the carefull Instructions of Parents or others concern'd in my Education giving me the advantage of Good Examples Counsels and Encouragements to know and do well with more assistance and less hindrances and diversions then to many Others Particularly for the Excellent Priviledge and inestimable Blessing of his H. Word and Sacraments the liberty of the Christian Religion in the Purity of it in most of those Places where God hath been pleas'd to cast my Lot. Causing me to lay down in green Pastures and leading me beside the still Waters Instructing me in the Revelation of his Will and Grace by J. Christ acquainting me with the sublime Principles and Articles Precepts and Rules Promises and Hopes of the Gospel in order to Eternal Life I bless Thee O Lord and shall for ever do so that with any or all these advantages and helps thy H. Spirit hath taught me to know the Truth as it is in Jesus heartily to believe and obey it That by thy Grace I have been convinc't of Sin and brought to Repentance showing me the necessity of a Saviour to make my Peace with Thee the All sufficiency of his Grace the fullness of his merit the freeness of his Love and his readines to receive me to mercy inviting and calling me to it and enabling me to accept his gracious Invitation and obey his Compassionate Call making me willing by a Powerfull and Victorious Grace drawing me with Cords of Love and so effectually persuading me to consent to thy Covenant and comply with thy message on the gracious terms of the Gospel Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord J. Christ who thro his abundant mercy hath begotten me againe to a lively Hope having humbled my proud Heart and conquer'd the perversness of my Stubborn Will and brought my Soul to an entire Subjection to himself Who took pitty on me when he saw me in my Bloud spread his skirt over me cast a mantle upon my nakedness washed me from my Sins and put his own Comeliness upon me by sanctification who open'd my Eyes when I was leaping blinfold into the pit of Destruction who healed my Soul when I was fick unto Death who rescue'd and recover'd me from the slavery of the Devil when I was led Captive by him at his will. Shall not a ransom'd redeemed Slave be thankfull to his Deliverer shall not a miserable undone Sinner who is receiv'd to mercy be thankfull for a
Pardon A wake O my Soul and utter a song of Praise to Him who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and erowneth thee loving-kindness and tender mercies Hath he made thee pertaker of his own renewed Image and likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a Relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physitian thy Sun and thy shield and thine exceeding great Reward Ps 103. v. 2. and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been mercifull to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins hath he gathered me with his arm and carried me in his bosome hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the H. Angels the Curse being removed and the hand writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the breach made up the mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious pardon thro the Sacrifice of my B. Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his incomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank Thee most Holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerfull and dangerous Temptations that by preventing mercy or Restraining Grace Esa 43. v. 14. thou hast kept me from many Scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a warning and a Caution to me an argument to humility and a motive to watchfullness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing usefull to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefullness of any of thy Servants wherin as a member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any support and comfort to me or Any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy name sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succor relief and victory with respect to the snares and buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation and practise to question the Truth of the H. Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of men by Evil Company Intemperance secret wickedness c. I bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wanderings and by infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited Favor that thou mayst heal my Back slidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Soveraign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Bloud cleanseth from all Sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing vertue awakening me to make holy vows and calling upon me by thy word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I Bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of Peace when by the terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the apprehensions of thy deserved wrath I was ready to despair That tho thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy salvation and chase away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the finisher of my Faith and therfore tho thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy Lovingindness thou hast not taken from me or suffer'd thy Faithfullness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God making me to hear thy voce which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better then wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and My God. And to have any Communion with thee since in publick or private Duties For all these innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the taste and earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter O how great his his Goodness that he hath laid up for Those that fear Him And now Lord what wait I for my Hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant what thee I will magnifie the Lord and my Spirit shall rejoyee in God my Saviour Return unto thy rest O my Soul for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with me While (a) Psal 104.33 I live I will praise Thee and sing praises to my God while I have a being O come and behold the works of the Lord what he hath done for my Soul the Lord liveth (b) Psal 18.46 Blessed be my Rock and let the God of my Salvation be exalted Let my Heart be glad and my Glory rejoyce for the Lord is not asham'd to be called my God. Thanks be to God who hath caused me to triumph in Christ Jesus Sing unto the Lord O ye his Saints and give thanks at the Remembrance of his Holiness (c) Ps 30. I cryed unto thee and thou hast healed and sav'd me I will give thanks to Thee for ever (d) Psal 119.62 I will show forth thy Lovingkindness in the morning and thy Faithfullness every Night For the Lord is Good his mercy is Everlasting and his Truth endures throout all Generations O enter into his Gates with Thanksgiving and his Courts with Praise be thankfull unto him and bless his name Bless the Lord all ye his works in all places of his Dominion Bless the Lord O my Soul. Let me add for a Conclusion that the particular Deliverances Supports and Consolations which at any time God hath given in cases of great Exigence or in answer to importunate Prayer ought never to be forgotten Many experienc't Christians have been wont to write down such remarkable Appearances of God for them with the particular Circumstances that did recommend and enhanse the mercy wither Spiritual or Temporal as an encouragement to trust in God in future difficulties and have afterwards found the Comfort and Advantage of being able to have recourse to such Papers This practice I recommend as what hath been usefull and Consolatory to diverse Christians for many years afterward and to some others of their more intimate Friends to whom they might without vanity be imparted What experiences might be recorded of signal returns to Prayer and seasonable manifestations of the Truth and Goodness and wisdom of God if all the Instances therof were duely recollected and preserv'd And how sweet and pleasant would the work of Prayer and Praise then be with what rejoycing and delight should we set about it live in it if the constraining Goodness Love of God and a Thankfull sense of his unspeakable mercies did bring us to him and indite and animate every word what support and comfort and probable hopes at least of the special Love of God might we derive from the various passages of his Compassion and kindness And hereby we may be able more heartily to give him thanks for Pardon Sanctification and Adoption which we commonly mention with too much doubt and fear It may likewise be advisable to examine and record the workings of your own Spirit under such Dispensations What Thoughts you then had of God what acts of Faith Love Thankfullness you did then manifest what Evidences of God's favor and what discovery of your own Sincerity you have had at such Times when and how and by what means you were cured of your uncomfortable unbelief and raised from your despondency what Promises you had recourse to for relief what Considerations were most helpfull to you what Frame of Spirit you kept up in Prayer before and after what Resolutions and Engagements you made to God to love and trust and praise and serve him and give up all to his dispose for the future and what consequent obligation may be infer'd from thence to acquiesce in the Will of God and resign our selves entirely to Him saying This God is our God for ever and ever and He will be Our Guide unto Death THE END
yeild our selvs an easy prey to his Temptations till our latter end be worse then our Beginning Oh what a change doth one year let us see in Persons as well as things in our selvs as well as other Men And as it is with Man himself so with every thing that he values himself upon or for which he is esteemed by others and even this esteem and Reputation is also changeable and uncertaine Not to Instance in Riches but in what is nobler Learning and the Improvements of the mind by study how soon may the violence of a Diseas disturb or stupifie the Braine to that degree as shall reduce the greatest scholar to the Pittied condition of a Fool or Bedlam and where is his Reputation and Renown in such a case But much less then that will blast the fairest Reputation with the far greatest part of the world it may be lost by unwary mistakes by falss reports by envy and malice by the subtle hatred of Enemies or by the weakness and credulity of Friends who will listen to every Backbiters story or by one or two indiscretions of the man himself and no man can be certaine to secure his Reputation while he lives much less after he is dead People will talk of us as they please and their opinions very often change from one extreme to the other But he who hath the loudest Fame shall only be talkt of a little longer then his Neighbors and that by a few dying Men that must themselvs be ere long forgotten And how small a part of the Inhabited world is acquainted so much as with the name of the greatest men in Europe and how different and Contrary are mens Opinions and Discourses of them where they are known and talkt of And how many holy excellent persons are buried in oblivion or mis-represented as unworthy to live on earth whose names will be found in the book of Life Our Life is yet as mutable and uncertaine as any of thes Our Breath is in our nostrils and tho there be room enough for it to goe out we have no assurance that we shall have power to draw it in againe III. Of the uncertainty of Living to the Period of another Year The vanity of this Life the swiftness of Time and how to be improved I Now begin another year but what Assurance have I to out live it I cannot say how soon my Soveraign Judge may call me hence and summon me to appear before his Righteous Bar. Oh let me not defer my necessary preparations for Death which may be nearer then I imagine let me mind the Great things first which are of absolute necessity to be done sometime or other before I dye This perishing Body which I have pamperd and indulged at the expence of so much cost and Time may be putrifying in a silent Grave before half this year be past Lord bless this thought to awaken my diligent endeavours to secure the Blessedness of Eternity to mortifie the desire of Great things for my self in future years by the considered possibility of dying before the end of this For no glass is more brittle no Bubble more vanishing no Ice more dissolving no Flower more sading no shadow less substantial no sleep or dream more deceiving no sound more Transient nothing more vaine and more uncertaine then Life on which all other things in this world depend We sleep every night in the outer chambers of Death and in some diseases sleeps which is the image and picture of death is taken away to give place to the Original and make way for death And every year every week every day are hastening to our final change which may overtake us ere we are aware Every word we speak is formed of that Breath whereby we live and we may not live to pronounce another sentence but the lamp of life be extinguisht and blown out by a sudden blast Every thing we do carries away some sands of our little Glass of Time and how little may remaine Or how soon may the Glass be broke our souls are in our bodies as a little air inclosed in a thin bubble how easily is that broken and where are we How many who are now a live in health and vigor who deliberate on their meat and drink and are curious of air and exercize to maintaine themselvs in health and pleas themselvs with the dream of years to come shall never see another New-years day it may be not another moneth or week or morrow When I lye down to sleep I hope to rise stronger and fresher and fitter for work but I know with all I may rise no more And may not my name be on the Roll of those who shall next be called at least some time this year Let me not then neglect or foolishly delay my Principal Business to provide against a change which is inevitable but the time of it altogether doubtfull Ought not my first and chiefest care be imployed to make my Peace with God. He alone can be my Happiness to his final Judgment I am hastening His Favor alone can give me support and Joy in a dying hour To his mercy I must trust when I leave this world and can have no advantage more by any thing in it that he may mercifully receive my soul at Death and be my everlasting Portion Do I know my Life is thus vaine and transient and shall I not seriously improve it to such a Purpose Shall thes thoughts leave no Impression upon me Do I breath continually in this Element of vanity and yet forget where I am and remaine insensible of so near a change Shall thes thoughts pass away as a vanishing Cloud and distill no softening drops on my soul Shall the Image of Death which meets me every where be only like an appearing Ghost or Phantasm that startles and scares a little but is presently gone and no more considered Oh! let me now remember to make God my friend and secure an intrest in his Eternal mercy while the Day lasts yea while my Reason and understanding are free and not disturbed and clouded by Fear and paine and the disorders of the Body as commonly they are in sickness if God should vouchsafe me that warning which yet I may not promise my self to have for I may be cut off by a sudden stroke before the end of this year I now begin IV. Of the seeming Difference between so many Years Past and the same number of Years to come WHen I look back on the preceding years of my Life how easily can I grasp them all at once they are even as Yesterday when 't is past But so many years to come hath something great and vast which fils my thoughts and affects my mind after another manner Such is the difference between past Injoyments and the Expectation of future Let me suppose the same term and duration of Years and yet how different are my Apprehensions of what is past and of what is
humble preparation for it with the greatest strictness and severity of Life during all that Time it were infinitely less then to spend an hour or two in preparing for the greatest Dignity and Imploy on Earth which can be injoyed but for a few years at longest For to these an hour hath some proportion but an hundred or thousand years have none with an Everlasting Duration Therefore to consider how many years of toyl and pains and diligence many bestow on the probable prospect of some Temporal Good should reprove and shame my negligence and remisness in providing for Eternity XIX The Punishments of the Damned considered as intolerable and Everlasting and as unquestionably certaine What the Reflexion upon Hell-Torments may and ought to teach us THe Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom the entrance into the way of Life as it is ordinarily one of the first means to awaken the soul to a serious concern for Eternity let me therefore first consider the Endless Punishment of the wicked in the other world before I enter upon the Ravishing Prospect of the Blessedness of Heaven promised to the Righteous And with what serious trembling dâ—â—â—ld I think of the Terrors of 〈◊〉 Everlasting Destruction which 〈◊〉 Lord shall be revealed from Heaven to render to All who know not God and obey not the Gospel When the wicked shall goe away into Everlasting Punishment as the righteous into Life Eternal The Dreadfulness of that Punnishment the endless Duration of it joyn'd to the consideration of its unquestionable Certainty deserves the most attenitve Thoughts of every man who loves his soul and would manifest he doth so by securing his greatest Interest The description of that misery under insupportable and Eternal Torments demands more then a transient view because no words can sufficiently express the Horror of that State. What is it o my soul to be banisht from the Blessed Sight and Presence of God for ever and all the Impressions of his holy Image and likeness and to know that this is the fruit of my own choice that I lost it by my own Fault and Folly that I deserved to lose it that the sentence is as Just as it is irrevocable Who can fully imagine the dismal Despair of a condemned Sinner under this anguish of a Guilty self-accusing Mind while under the stroke of God's Allmighty revenging Justice with a distincter view and knowledg then now of God and his Excellencies of himself and his own vileness and malignity which must greatly increas his rage and Torment add to this his being inraged by the accusations and cries of wicked Acquaintance and Relations and his being mockt and insulted over and tortured by malicious damned Spirits with a clear understanding of that glorious Felicity he despised refused and forfeited with a deep sense of his former Madness in preferring the sinfull Pleasures and Advantages of this world and this after so many warnings and invitations and calls from God to have prevented it never to be diverted one moment from the consideration sense and feeling of his misery and the duration of it to have all his Passions let loose with the greatest violence and nothing to satisfie them and continually to preserve an Hell of wickedness and Horror in him self and to indure the reproaches convictions regrets stinging Reflexions of Conscience the Gnawing worm which shall never dye who can conceive the unspeakable misery of such an accursed State So great Calamity yet Everlasting How long doth one Day or Night now seem to a man under some violent racking Paine in any one part of his body tho he be under the means for cure and have his friends about him to pitty comfort and assist him with the hopes of ease in a little while and the certaine knowledg that it cannot last long Vide Mr. Baxters Saints Rest part 2. chap. 4. Oh what then will be the dismal state of tormented sinners in Hell how infinitely must it exceed the most Terrible Idea we can now frame of it to languish out a long Eternity in that Gulph of Darkness and Despair under unpitied intolerable Torments without Intermission or hope of End Miseries without measure Judgment without Mercy Pains and sorrows intense and yet Endless without the least succour or relief relaxation or remedy diminution or change without a drop of Comfort without a moments Rest without the smallest beam of Light or the least glimmering of Hope Perpetually dying and never dead under unsufferable Wrath which yet will be for ever Wrath to come seeking Death and never able to find it but Eternally to indure all that Calamity which the Conjunction of Death and Life together can render dreadfull what Groans and Cries will these Thoughts and these sufferings wring from their Hearts But no Refuge will then be found no excuses admitted no prayers no intreaties will then prevail no Tears move pitty He that made them will show them no mercy and he that formed them will show them no favor When once delivered over to that prison of God's wrath they shall no longer be prisoners of Hope Judgment shall be brought forth unto final victory and the Redemption of the soul shall cease for ever Might we but suppose that one of those Miserable Souls in the place of Torment did let fall but one Tear in an hundred thousand years and if after he had by this means wept so much as that his Tears would equall the drops of water in the whole Sea his Misery should have an end this were Hope this were Comfort But alas after that period his Misery will be as far from an end as when he first began to feel it It will then be but the Beginning of sorrows which will never never never End. Think o my Soul that this is the Portion of the Sinners Cup this is the wages of Sin and the certaine doom of final Impenitence and unbelief 'T is no politick Cheat or melancholy dream but the express repeated word of God and Christ the holy Prophets and Apostles and the voice of Reason too supposing but the Immortality of the soul and the power of self-Reflexion the punishment of Sinners must needs be Everlasting as carrying continually an Hell within them unless God work a miracle to prevent it which there is no ground to imagine he will or shadow of reason why he should God hath pawn'd his Truth and his Eternity Deut. 32. c. 40 41. to execute this sentence of his threatned wrath He is a God of infinite mercy 't is true but he hath told us how far his Mercy shall extend He will not exercise one Attribute to the dishonor and the disparagement of the rest That obstinate and impenitent Sinners shall thus perish is not because the Goodness and mercy of God are not infinite but because his other Perfections are so viz. His Holiness Justice Truth Soveraignty and wisdom Was it wisdom and goodness to annex such a penalty to the
by the glory of his Father be meant that of the Divinity as the Original and Author of all things in nature as Creator of the World and by the Glory of his holy Angels be understood that of the Legal administration the Law being given by the disposition of Angels and by his own Glory that of the Gospel as he is the Messiah that in the Glory of all these he shall come to Judgment we have a summary account of the three different Revelations which God hath made of himself to mankind by the Light of Nature that of the Law and the more manifest one of the Gospel According to which every man is to be judged at the last day Tho we cannot distinctly tell what or how great our Lord's Glory will then be we may be certaine it will be suitable to the dignity of his Royal person suitable to the grandeur of his Fathers Majesty with the splendor of a Triumphant Prince who is Heir of all Things and hath all power in Heaven and in Earth committed to him the Great Lord of both Worlds Head of Angels an men and suitable to his glorious office as Mediator and the apointed Judge of Quick and Dead If at his Transfiguration his Face shone and his Rayment was white and glittering how much more splendid will his last Appearance be When the Bodies of his Saints shall be seven times brighter then the lustre of the Sun and if his Members shall then be so glorious how transcendently more so will their Head their Lord appear If the delivery and promulgation of the Law on Mount Sinai was accompanied with such circumstances of terrible Majesty how much more may we suppose the Great Assize will be attended with When he comes to judge for the violation of the Law and the contempt of the Gospel And if even Moses did then exceedingly quake and fear what will be the consternation and trembling of the wicked World at the Coming of Christ When he shall be revealed from Heaven in flaming Fire with a glorious retinue of his mighty Angels as so many bright Stars about the more glorious Sun of Rightousness The lights of Heaven shall be Ecclipst the visible Sun shall vail its blushing head as infinitely out shone the present glory of the Creation be all benighted by reason of his transcendent Brightness Yea the Heavens shall be wrapt up as a scrol the Elements melt away with a mighty noise the Earth and all its works be burnt up and the whole universe as one great Bonefire to adorn the Triumph of our Lords Appearance And this ushered in by the voice of an Archangel proclaiming his approach and the voice of God supplying the use of a Trumpet to raise the Dead and possess mankind with an awefull Reverence of their Judge Thus in triumph as a Conqueror and a Judge shall he come againe who once appear'd in the form of a Servant to be judged and condemn'd by Man. Then he was called King in scorn now he will appear as much above all Earthly and Humane Greatness as once he stoopt for our sakes beneath it Then the Contempt of Nations and no way esteem'd Desireable when he came from the womb of his Virgin-Mother now the Terror of the World when he comes againe from the right hand of his Father No more to be subject to a state of Meaness but to render vengeance to all 2 Thess 1. chap. who know not God and obey not the Gospell and to be glorified in his Saints and admired in and by all them that believe The Holy Scripture doth frequently and expressly assure us that he will thus come againe and for these ends He is exalted and gone to Heaven as the Head of his Church and the King of Glory and when he foretold his Ascension he gave a promise of his Return The Heavens are to containe him till the Restitution of all things By his Providence and by the H. Spirit he now carries on the designs of his Death and when these are accomplisht he will appear to the Joy of Believers and the confusion of the Wicked He is entred as our Forerunner Heb. 19 â—â— 10. c within the vail to prepare Mansions and to take possession for us and will not allways leave us in this dark and defiling World. He knoweth our sorrows and heareth our prayers and bottles our Tears takes notice of our groans and in all our Afflictions he is afflicted Being reconciled by his Death at his first Coming we shall be saved by his Life since he lives to make good his word of coming againe How confortable is the news of it how joyfull will be the meeting to such as expect and prepare to see him When the Sea and the Graves shall yeild up their Dead and all the Prisoners of Hope lift up their heads arise goe up and meet the Lord in the Air and ascend with him to the Heavenly Glory But who can express how dismal a Sight this will be to the secure and the Impenitent to all who dye in their Sins to behold their Judge who formerly offered to be their Saviour upon a glorious Throne and all the Children of Adam summon'd to his Tribunal to have nothing to answer against his charge and no way to escape his condemning sentence they despised him as a Lamb offer'd in Sacrifice to take away the sins of the World but shall no longer do so when he comes as the Lion of the tribe of Juda to devour and destroy the Enemies of his Crosse Now they will not own him for their Lord but shall then find he is so by the vengeance he will execute As a Jesus as a Saviour they rejected him making light of his Salvation despising his Mercy refusing his Grace but the neglected Gospell will then be a more killing Letter then the Law. He who by his Ambassadors doth now intreat Sinners to be reconciled will then be as deaf to their Intreaties as they have been to his Because they would not turn at his Reproof hearken to the call of his word and obey its voice they must hear the sentence of Condemnation and feel the Execution of it wither they will or no. Yea the bloud of his Crosse will upbraid accuse and plead against them And what ever foolish Evasions they now make to continue in security they shall then be speechless and self-condemned Nothing will be able to hide them from the amazing Presence of their Judge or from the Wrath of the Lamb. Who will inflict an intolerable and righteous vengeance an Everlasting Destruction upon all the Ignorant and ungodly World. The Greatest the Stoutest the boldest of them shall then be humbled and stand before Christ's Tribunal upon an equal Level with the meanest seized with horror filled with Guilt Anguish and Despair and find to their Eternal Confusion that the Judge is no respecter of Persons but every man shall receive according to his wâ—rks The Mighty shall not be
spared for his Greatness nor the mean man for his Poverty O Fool o Wretch that I am shall many then say who now brave it out in Pride and vanity unconcern'd about a future Judgment not to be persuaded by the Terrors of the Lord which I was so often warn'd and foretold of what refuge of Hope can I now flye to what can I say for my self what can I doe to escape to dye to exist no longer I would have no compassion on my own Soul I would not so much as consider its Danger I shall now find none from Christ I can expect none his Mercy is gone and gone for ever I am lost undone tormented and must Eternally be so O the amazement Horror and Despair of self condemned Sinners in that day of Vengence O my Soul what is there of greater Consequence or of greater Certainty from the word of God then that I must appear to Judgment when Christ shall come againe Lord teach me to believe it firmly to consider it often to lay it seriously to Heart to act under the influence and power of it as long as I live that at the Great Resurrection from the Dead I may lift up my head with a joyfull Hope and find the Judge to be my Friend my Advocate my Jesus and not my Enemy and Destroyer XXIII Meditations of the Glory of Christ in his Glorifyed Saints and of the thankfull Admiration of Believers when He shall come againe from Heaven which shall be continued to all ETERNITY THe Terror of our Lords Appearance to Judgment cannot be greater to the wicked then the comfort and Joy it will be to the Saints When they shall see him whom their Souls love ascend with him to Heaven and be wellcom'd according to his promise with those indearing words Matt. 25. Come the Blessed Children of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from before the foundation of the world 'T was for your sakes I assumed flesh lived on Earth and dyed on the crosse to purchase this Glorious Kingdom for you which I now come to give you the Possession of 'T was for this I prayed and suffered on Earth for this I interceded ever since in Heaven I was heard in that prayer accepted in those sufferings and my Intercession granted that where I am you may be also to behold my Glory Come therefore Good and Faithfull Servants enter into your Lords Joy. O what Ravishing words will thees be what an Extasy of Love and kindness is implied in them What matter of Rejoycing may it now give me to admit the Hope that my Blessed Saviout will say such words as these to me and bid me stand upon his Right Hand among his sheep O what an exulting frame of soul will such Expressions raise how shall all my doubts and fears and sorrows be scatter'd in a moment and cease for ever O Glorious Day when my Blessed Lord shall thus publickly acknowledg me for his own and plead my cause against all the accusations of Satan and the malicious Calumnies of all his Instruments when I shall be able to say of all my Sins and sufferings as my Lord upon the crosse It is Finished It is Finished My warfare being accomplisht being more then Conqueror over all thro him who loved me and dyed for me and now is come to wipe away all Tears from mine Eyes as it were with the Napkin that was bound about his Head when laid in the Grave all being the fruit of his Meritorious Death Then shall I have nothing more to fear or wish or beg I shall offend provoke and dishonour him no more or by my folly and scandal discredit his holy name and Gospell But by consummate Holiness be fitted to Rejoyce in his Presence Love and celebrate his Praise for ever I shall never more lament his Absence or complaine of his Anger never see a cloud on his Face or a Frown in his look any more Now I must wait and pray struggle and strive labor and suffer desire and expect believe and hope c. but then perfect Rest and Holiness love and joy vision and fruition bliss and glory unutterable and everlasting shall take place All the Attributes of God all the wonderfull Perfections of Christ will then be glorifyed in Believers and admired by them His invariable Truth will then be honoured which they trusted to and waited for for now they shall know and find they did not wait in vaine they hoped in his word and ventured their Salvation upon it and now they shall receive the End of their Faith and Hope infinitely beyond what they ever expected or believed The Glory of Divine Wisdom will then appear when the Constitution Administration and design of the Mediators Kingdom shall be fully known in the admirable order and beauty of every part of it with the exact tendency of all the particulars to one Glorious end and the whole undertaking crownd with so blessed an issue What is now a mystery even to Believers themselvs and hath a vail upon it shall then no longer be so all the riddles of Gods Graee and Providence be plainly understood O how transporting a view must it needs be when the Glory of all the divine Attributes which God intended to accomplish in and by Christ shall be manifest to his Redemed Saints The whole method of our Salvation will then appear to be the fruit of unscearchable Wisdom when we shall all see the reality and substance and intire scheme of all that God designed in and by him all that was typified of him and foretold concerning him in the old Testament How will it all appear to be the Manifold Wisdom of God. Ephes 3. c. 10. As in uniting Heaven and Earth together in the Person of our Mediator fullfilling the Truth of a terrible Threatning in his death by the same way accomplishing many gracious Promises Vid. Mr. Charnock of the Div. Attrib Wisdom Satisfying Justice and at the same time showing Mercy manifesting infinite Grace and kindness by shedding of bloud conquering Death by dying and disarming the Law by obedience to it c. afterwards subduing the world to the Faith of the Gospel by the foolishness of preaching making men wise to Salvation by the knowledg of the Crosse and spreading that Faith the more by all the opposition made against it c. how wonderfully will a clear view of these things discover and glorifie the Wisdom of God. But the Love and Grace of Christ the infinite Goodness and Compassion of God will then be magnified in an especial manner What but Soveraine Love in the whole Contrivance and Counsell of God about our Redemption what admirable Love and Grace in the whole management of that design what unparrallel'd kindness in the accomplishment of it by the sacrifice of the son of God and how glorious will this Love appear when he shall come againe to give us the full Harvest of all his Purchase with what admiring
me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and H. Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Loving kindness is better then Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most mercifull God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightfull Lord acknowledging thee as my Allmighty Wise and Bountifull Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctifie me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yeild my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Hand maid Tho other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Bloud I now acknowledge and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfie for my sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy mercifull Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of life and glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath come I acknowledge thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy yoke upon me for it is Easy and thy Burden which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Crosse and follow thee whither so ever thou shalt lead me thro the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labor grudge at no suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. Os hed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easy for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Bloud O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his merit satisfaction and Righteousness to Justifie my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and all sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purifie my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the bloud of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the H. Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Belivers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O Blessed Spirit be thou my witness that tho I have violated the Law of God and defac't his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospell yet by thine aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self hence forward to be the Lords in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once againe dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those whic I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy will making it my business to be fruitfull in good works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his apointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day that I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul. This I againe ratifie and confirm with out any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God. Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the H. Spirit XXIX Prastical and Consolatory Reflexions on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God. I Have this day solemnly avouched the Lord to be my God Deut. 6. c. 17.18 to walk in his ways therby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my House and All that I can
persuade to be of my mind will serve the Lord. I intend desire and hope never willfully to violate the Faith I have now plighted in the presence of God but to continue stedfast unmoveable all was abounding in the work of the Lord c. Should I undertake any new Imployment or enter into any new Condition or change the place of my Abode where I might see more of God's dishonour and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin and be called to the performance of more difficult duties greater Watchfullness and self denial c. I would hope hereby to ingage the presence of God with me and his Blessing on all my Affaires on which depends the success of all that I undertake and would hope the better to preserve my Integrity not only This Year but in all the remaining portion of my Time by the abiding sense of my Covenant with God thus seriously renewed This is the method I have been often advis'd to for Peace of Conscience under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual State to put the matter out of doubt by againe accepting the offered mercy and Grace of the Gospell and heartily consenting to the new Covenant giving up my self to God in Christ to be ruled and saved by him Blessed be God I have now done so Lord say Amen to thy part of the Covenant that Thou art and wilt be my God as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine that I will be thy Servant But because Articles are sooner consented to then made Good tho I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live that having sworn I will endeavor to perform it that this shall be my Everlasting Choice never to be recanted or alter'd yet considering the sad Instances of my former weakness and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adversary I againe implore the succor of divine Grace to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians never to be reverst I have given up my name to be Thine O put thy Fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart that my obedience may be uniform and universal unwavering and perpetual suitable 〈◊〉 so honourable and near a Relation to Thee I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee who givest liberally to All without desert and upbraâ—â—est not with present unworthiness or former faults O lead me not into Temptatien but deliver me from Evill Stand by and strengthen me in the Hour of Trial least I forget my vows and deny Thee O that my Soul may never draw back least Thine have no Pleasure in me I can serve no better Master O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine house as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 't is my Duty I am sensible 't is my Priviliedge and Honour I am convin'd that 't is my Interest and Felicity my Soul my Life my present and everlasting Well-fare and All depends upon it that thou shouldst be my God for ever O conduct me by thy H. Spirit of Grace that I may walk and Act as having heartily consented he should be so and direct my Heart into thy Love and the faithfull keeping of thy Commandments That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a Good Conscience and discredit the Religion of my Lord by their shamefull Falls thou mayst make me to stand and improve the warning of their Examples to walk humbly and while I stand to take heed least I fall Having thus surrendred my self to God what is there o my Soul that is ever like to prevail with me to goe back and revolt from him Is the gratification of a Lust the securing of an Estate compliance with a Friend the pleasing of a Superior living in Ease and Honour and outward Prosperity for a little while the saving my Body from suffering or my Life from violence or what ever els be the Motive of my ufaithfullness to God and Apostacy from Him Is Any is All of these any way considerable compared with the Blessedness of having God to be my God. For therby I have the forgiveness of all my Sins and the Assurance of his Favor the certainty of present Protection and Provision all Creatures reconciled to me and to be imployed for my Good as the Friend of God All things to work together for my Advantage and by the evidence of my Adoption a well grounded hope of Eternal Life God as my Sun and Shield will give Grace and Glory and with hold no Good Thing So unspeakably Comprehensive are the Priviliedges of so near a Relation to God in Christ O happy are the People who are in such a case Blessed are the Persons whose God is the Lord. Doe I resolve to abide by my Choice and to trust in Christ for persevering Grace and shall I not ought I not to take Comfort in it Shall I not give God the Glory of his infinite Goodness by adhering to him and rejoycing in him notwithstanding all Temptations to the Contrary Casting all my care upon him and quieting my self in the All-sufficiency of my Heavenly Father having a God in Covenant who will supply all my wants and take care of me as his Own. Shall I not give him the glory of his Truth and Power by trusting him in every Condition by confidence in his Promise Dependance on his Word Faithfullness to his Interest and Constancy in his Service to the end Is it not a most encouraging Thought that God doth never Abandon any who do not first forsake him And after such strict Engagements as I have laid upon my self shall I ever strike the fatal stroke with my own Hand shall I be off and on say and unsay promise and retract and after I have proceeded thus far shall I forsake the Fountaine of Living Waters and turn againe to broken Cisterns After I have examin'd my self considerd my ways confest my Sins and upon serious Deliberation am come to a Resolve and in pursuance of it have devoted my self with such solemnity to be the Lords shall I ever after this forsake Him my own Mercies and lightly esteem the Rock of my Salvation Now I have learn'd in some mensure what Sin is by the sorrows and anguish of an Hearty Repentance now I have discoverd so much of the Snares and Devices of Satan wherby I have formerly been betraid now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerfull influence and Infection of bad Company the Treachery of fleshly Lusts the bewitching Temptations of the World and have tasted a little by my own Experience of the Pleasantness of Wisdoms Paths the Peace and satisfaction of Devotedness to God by the present Rewards of a calm Conscience the communications of divine Grace and