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mercy_n lord_n miserable_a sinner_n 6,143 5 8.8461 4 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A54514 The tales and jests of Mr. Hugh Peters collected into one volume / published by one that hath formerly been conversant with the author in his life time ... ; together with his sentence and the manner of his execution. Peters, Hugh, 1598-1660.; S. D., One that hath formerly been conversant with the author in his life time. 1660 (1660) Wing P1721; ESTC R19180 17,396 40

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Being desired by Oliver Cromwell to repair to an appointed place there to preach it suddenly fell a raining whereupon Cromwell offered him his Coat To which he replied I 'le not have it for my part I would not be in your Coat for a thousand pounds How Mr. Peters jested at his friends hurt Mr. Peters coming by one time where he espied a friend of his deeply cut in the head who engaged too far in a foolish fray he began to check him for his indiscretion But saith he 't is too late now to give you Counsel come along with me to a Chirurgion a friend of mine where I 'le have you see you drest and then bid you farewel Where being come the Chirurgion begins to wash away the blood and search for his braines to see if they were hurt At which M. Peters cries out what a mad man are you to seek for any such thing if he had had any braines he would never have ventured so rashly into so unlucky a Skirmish How Mr. Peters defaced a shoulder of Mutton Being invited to dinner his Stomach invited him into the Kitchin to take a slice before dinner where espying a Shoulder of Mutton began to cut a peice of that and to deface it at which saith the Maid O Sir cut not of that because it is old Say you so quoth he then I will have a piece of it to chuse for age you know is honourable How Mr. Peters mistook in reaching to the top of his Pulpit Mr. Peters preaching immediatly after the death of Oliver Cromwell in his Sermon brought in this Expression that he knew Ol. Cromwell was in Heaven as sure as he could then touch the head of his Pulpit and reaching up his hand came short thereof by half a yard How Mr. Peters advanced the Cause of Oliver Master Peters for the maintenance of the Army under his Master Oliver used often times to exhort the people to be liberal in their Contributions and having used his utmost endeavours in London he endeavoured to stir up the wellaffected in several Counties alwayes intermixing somewhat of mony in his Discourse but one time above the rest having provided himself with a pair of breeches without pockets onely holes cut in the places where the pockets should be and his Auditory being most Women he affrighted them exceedingly with the terrible Characters he gave the Cavaliers and at length out comes a whole bunch of Rings which he had hung on his codpeice button And my beloved quoth Hugh these Rings the Women of such a Town gave me and shaking them a while in one hand pretended to put them up but standing upright in the Pulpit he took them through his breeches in the other and see here saith he beloved Sisters these the pious minded Women of another Town gave me to subdue the wicked Cavaliers by this peice of Sophistry he would preach his ignorant hearers out of large sums of money which it may be supposed he treasured in his own coffers XLV How Mr Peters went to Heaven and Hell Mr Peters in the midst of one of his Sermons dives down and rising up again faith My Beloved Where think you I have been now I le tell you I have been in Heaven and there 's my Lord Bradshaw and many other worthy persons of Note then diving again Now saith he I have been in Hell and there were a Number of factious Parliament men and that they might believe it to be true as that Gospel shewing a Paper-Book with Notes bound up like a Testament XLVI How Mr Peters shared with the State He was wont after his Collections to carry all his treasure into one Roome where there was two Chests then would he take one Bag and flinging it into one of the Chests this saith he for the State and flinging another Bag into the other Chest quoth he this for my selfe This would he so frequently do that an ingenious fellow his servant noted it to imitate his Master would commonly before he gave his Master his accompts do the same having provided himselfe with two Chests or Trunks would cry This for my Master and this for my selfe insomuch that in short time he had heaped up a great treasure and taking himselfe to be somebody more then formerly attempted to make love to a Gentlewoman related neerely to Mr Peters whereupon Mr Peters checks him for the presumption saying She had a great fortune and was a pitch above him Sir quoth the servant I am not so despicable as you may thinke nor shall her fortune exceed mine say you so saith Mr Peters make that appeare and you shall have her Why Sir quoth the servant I have done as you taught me you used to say this for the State and this for my selfe so I would cast into your treasury one Bag and two into mine own sayest thou so replyed his Master Believe me I commend thee and clapping him on the Back saith he say no more thou dost deserve her But whether they were married or not my Intelligencer cannot informe me XLVII How Mr Peters was served by the Butchers wife Mr Peters ingratiating himselfe with a Butchers wife who was somewhat handsome did with much intreaty gaine her consent to be her visiter at midnight and she ordered him to come at such a time and put his hand under the doore where he should finde the Key which should open a passage to her chamber he comes at the appointed time but this crafty woman instead of the Key had there layd a Trap and Mr Peters looking for the Key did unluckily thrust his hand into the Trap and could not get it out till by his calling for helpe he was heard and disgracefully released XLVIII How Mr Peters prayed against the Kings Armes Praying in a Country village he espyed in the Church the Kings Armes whereupon he brings in these words Good Lord keepe us from the yoke of Tyranny and spreading his hands towards the Kings Armes saith he Preserve thy servants from the paw of the Lyon and the horne of the Vnicorne XLIX How Mr Peters discoursed against Organs Mr Peters discoursing of Church Ceremonies brake into this expression Yee must have Musick too but indeed when as ye say Lord have mercy upon us miserable sinners ye may well vary the words a little and let your Petition be Lord have mercy upon us miserable Singers L. How Mr Peters preached three houres on a Fast-day Mr Peters having on a Fast day preached two long houres and espying his glasse to be out after the second turning up takes it in his hand and having againe turned it saith Come my Beloved we will have the other glasse and so wee 'le part LI. How Mr Peters said the word of God had a free Passage Discoursing of the advantage Christians have above Heathens and shewing that they were guided only by a Naturall Instinct but we have the word preached to us and indeed saith he the Gospel hath a very