Repentance arme me with strong confidence in thy mercie against desperation AMEN A Meditation how Iesus was sent vnto Pilate MED XI Like an offender Iesus Christ is a Mat. 27.2 bound And b Mark 15.1 sent to Pilate Pilate doth confesse That Christ is c Math. 27.24 guiltles Nothing could be found To proue that Christ their d Luk. 23.14 law did ere transgresse NOw let vs returne from weeping Peter to meditate vpon my louing Iesus who remained all night in the house of Cayphas where hee was scorned with opprobrious words and buffeted and beaten with cruell blowes no man spake in his cause no man pleaded his case hee sustained their iniuries with meekenesse hee did beare their intollerable reproches with mildnesse Now in the morning my innocent Iesus was brought before the high Priest and others who sat in counsell to examine him as a pernicious traytor not worthie to liue but worthie of a most cruell death And after they had reuiled him with proud words and haled him too and fro with cruell hands they cried out in their madnes and roared out in their furie he is worthie of death let him be led bound vnto Pilate that hee may pronounce iudgment against him to die a most shamefull cruell death Oh how was my sweet Sauiour molested for my sake how was his soule afflicted for my sinnes I was the cause that thou vvert conuented before the counsell of the high Priest and my sinnes did send thee to Pilate Oh let mee weepe in the morning when I awake out of sleepe and make my bed to swimme with teares when I lie downe to rest because I haue beene delighted with that as my chiefest felicitie which caused thee to abide the bitternesse of all their crueltie and vvill be the cause of mine owne endlesse miserie vnlesse my wounds be healed and my sores salued with the pretious balme of thy sauing mercie Teach me oh Lord to suffer any affliction for thy sake with alacritie and to sustaine the malice of persecution with cheerefull humility which shal be by Sathan raised against me or by his instruments inflicted vpon me for thy cause Let the patterne of thy perfect humilitie be alwayes placed before mine eyes let the memorie of thy patience neuer depart out of my minde Oh ye vvicked Iewes Oh ye false accusers oh ye lying caluminators oh ye periured wretches How maliciously how vniustly how spitefully how impudently doe yee accuse my Lord ye raile vpon him as if hee were a most damnable traytor ye reuile and curse him as if hee had complotted some horrible treason or inuented some notable mischiefe when as his hands were neuer stained with any euill action nor his heart tainted with any wicked cogitation his words were nothing but verity and truth and there was no guile to be found in his mouth who alone is good the author of goodnesse and the fountaine of euerlasting happines Tell me ye deceitfull and spitefull accusers what euill hath he done what vvicked deed hath he committed Enquire of them vvhom hee deliuered from the vncleane spirits vvherewith they were miserably tormented aske the blinde vvhom hee had made to see demand of the deafe whom he made to heare aske the Leapers whom he clensed and the dead persons whom hee reuiued let them answere your false accusations and ouerthrow the forged testimonies of your criminall obiections Are ye so vvilfull that ye will not acknowledge his mercy are ye so blinde that ye cannot see his miracles If an vngodly man can performe such mercifull deedes then you may iustly accuse him as a vvicked doer and condemne him as a dangerous malefactor Thou seest my soule vvhat cause thou hast to vvater thy cheekes vvith continuall teares and to ouerwhelme thy hart in deepe streams of vvofull sorrow vvhen thou dost thinke vpon the afflictions of thy blessed Sauiour and meditate on the cursed torments executed by the cruell Iewes against thy innocent Iesus Was there euer any Traitor so execrable to men for his bloodie deeds or any vile wretch so odious for his vitious life vvhich sustained so many opprobrious vvords scornfull derisions bitter taunts and grieuous torments as the furious Iewes inflicted vpon my mercifull Iesus Oh my blessed Sauiour and louing Redeemer what did moue thee to sustaine such a heauie burthen of afflictions what was the cause that thou didst submit thy selfe to so many miseries I know my most gratious Lord it did flow from the fountaine of thy vnmeasurable loue in tendring the wofull estate of me a most wretched sinner and because thou vvert moued with the bowels of compassion towards mee a most forlorne and miserable creature Thy exceeding loue vvas the cause of thy admirable humilitie and thy vnspeakeable mercie the soueraigne medicine to cure my miserie Therefore grant me my humble and lowly Iesus vvhich am thy poore and most vnworthy seruant that I may suffer any contempt vvith humilitie for thy cause endure any vile reproach vvith alacritie for thy sake esteeming it my chiefest honour to be scorned for thy loue and accounting my selfe most happie vvhen I suffer any persecution for thy holy name Possesse my heart vvith true humilitie that my thoughts may not thirst after vaine glorie nor mine affections hunt after worldly honour For I know oh Lord that thou doest resist the proud and that thou giuest grace to the humble Iames. 4.6 Pro. 15.25 and I know oh Lord that hee vvhich desireth to ascend to the place of euerlasting glorie must ascend vnto it by the steps of humility Therefore thou vvhich art onely able teach mee that I may be truly humbled so that my minde may not swell vvith pride in time of my prosperitie nor any ambitious thoughts find any harbour in my heart in the time of my peaceable tranquility that I may sing vvith the sweet singer Dauid It is good for mee that thou hast humbled me And that I may more easily learne to leuell my thoughts by the rule of humility inflame my heart vvith thy loue for if my heart be incensed and kindled with thy loue my desires will be ready to performe thy wil and I shall be chearefull to walke in thy vvayes vvhich doest teach mee to be lowly in minde and humble in heart A Meditation how Pilate caused Iesus to be scourged and hovv aftervvard he pronounced sentence of death against him MED XII Though Pilates mouth did Iesus a Luke 21.4.14 iustifie And Pilates b Mat. 27.19 wife the like did testifie Yet c Mat. 15.15 scourg'd he is therewith not pleas'd they crie His bloud on d Mat. 27.25 vs and ours him crucifie VVHen Pilate had strictly examined my innocent Iesus and could finde no cause why the cruell Iewes should so grieuously accuse him but knew that they had deliuered him for enuie and did spite him for malice he was vvilling to haue set Iesus at liberty but the furious Iewes did so greedily thirst after his
wholy depresse thee which art willingly tumbled into the filthy Mire of infernall stincke and hellish sauours bee thou ouerwhelmed vvith the horrible darkenesse of comfortles and in consolable sorrow which hast wittingly cast thy selfe downe into a gulfe of such beastly and luxurious pleasures Wallow thou in the whirepoole of bitternesse which hast sported and delighted thy selfe in the puddle of lasciuious filthines Oh yee horrible terrour terrible sorrow vncomfortable mourning muster your selues against mee assault ouerwhelme vexe couer trample vpon me It is iust it is iust my wicked deeds haue deserued it I haue with impudent boldnesse disdained and contemned your forces and with shamefull sensuality haue procured your displeasure yea rather I haue prouoked God and not you and now with lamentable repentance I desire you to poure your full measure of vengeance vpon me Torment and torture the guilty that my soueraigne Lord may be auenged whom I haue so highly offended Let the vitious Fornicatour feele before hand the Torments of Hell which hee hath deserued let him taste before hand that which hee hath prepared let him haue some smacke of those tormenting pangs and passions which hee shall abide and suffer hereafter Extend and augment thou immoderate and vnsatiable sinner thy sorrowfull and dolefull repentance vvhich hast so farre enlarged the leprous vncleannesse of thy odious and detestable vices Tumble thy selfe and throw thy selfe againe into the vvhirle poole of ceaslesse sorrow bitternesse and dolefull distresses vvhich hast so oft throwne downe thy selfe into the filthy pit of thy lustfull desires and carnall pleasures Consolation securitie delightfull pleasure and ioy doe yee now no more approach neere vnto mee I hate and loath your delectable company vnlesse pardon of my sinne shall reconcile and restore you Let heauy pensiuenesse and bitter mourning bee still at hand like cruell Tormentors and bloudy executioners to vexe mee in my growing youth and to trouble mee in my vvearisome age VVould to God vvould to God it may be so I vvish pray desire it may be so If I bee not vvorthy to list vp my eyes towards HEAVEN when I put vp my humble supplication truly I am not vnworthy to obscure them and to put out their light vvith the streames and fountaine of teares and lamentable vveeping If my minde bee confounded with great shamefulnes of my guiltie Conscience that it cannot pray and craue for mercy it is meet that it should bee ouerwhelmed with the tempest of exceeding sorrow and dolefull sadnesse If it feare to come in the sight of God grieuously offended it is iust that the vnsufferable torments prepared for rebellious sinners should alwayes appeare and be presented before it Therefore let my heart thinke and thinke againe what hainous treason it hath committed what endles torments it hath deserued Let my vnderstanding descend into itselfe make a priuie search in euery corner before it goe downe into the land of darkenes which death obscureth with his grosse and mistie vapours and meditate who doth attend and wait there for my wicked soule let it behold and view see and be troubled What is it oh God what is it which I behold in the Land of misery and darkenesse Horror Horror What is it which I doe view where no order but wofull confusion inhabiteth Woful are the out-cries of some howling out with lamentable voyces Wofull is the noyse of others gnashing their teeth tortured with intollerable torments Lamentable is the sight of the confused multitude sobbing and sighing out woe woe How many and how many woes Woe for that fire which burneth with brimstone whose flame is neuer extinguished and wofull is that obscure and darke Dungeon where there dwelleth euerlasting darkenesse With what terrible roaring doe I see you oh Wormes tossed and turned about liuing in that flaming fire which continualy burneth What direfull and greedy desire doth inflame you to returne out of it whom yet that fire of fires cannot so burne as that euer yee shall be consumed Oh yee Deuils burning together with them roaring vvith burning and raging with fury wherefore are yee so terrible and cruell to them which are tumbled and rowled vp and downe among you Oh torments intollerable Oh extreame sentence of Iustice insupportable shall no meane no remedy no end mittigate or asswage you Are these the things oh great and powerfull God which are prepared for filthy Fornicators and wicked contemners of thee of which I am one I I am verily one of those Oh my soule tremble thou with terrour faint and faile thou my vnderstanding with quaking feare and thou oh my heart cut and wound thy selfe with immoderate sorrow Whither doe yee hale and tog maye cruell tormentors while you execute your fury and wrath against mee for my great and grieuous offences Whither dost thou deliuer mee oh my sinne Whither dost thou deliuer me oh my God whither dost thou deliuer me If I haue effected by my hainous and detestable rebellions that I should be thy guilty offendor could I also bring it to passe that I should not bee thy Creature If I haue robbed my selfe of my chastitie haue I also robbed thee of thy Mercy Oh Lord Lord if I haue lost that for vvant whereof thou mayest condemne mee a grieuous offender hast thou also lost that whereby thou art wont to saue a penitent sinner Doe not Oh LORD doe not so narrowly attend to my vvickednesse that thou forget thy vvonted goodnesse Where is it true oh true GOD vvhere is As I liue I will not the death of a sinner but rather that he be conuerted and liue Oh Lord thou vvhich doest not lye Lord what is I will not the death of a sinner If thou doest burie in Hell a sinner which crieth vnto thee or is it to throw a sinner into the Lake of neuer-ceasing Torments I will not the death of a sinner Or is this I will that a sinner be conuerted and liue I am a sinner oh Lord I am a sinner If therefore thou wilt not the death of a sinner what doth compell thee which thou wouldest not that thou deliuerest mee to death and destruction If thou vvilt that a sinner be conuerted and liue vvhat doth let thee to performe that which thou willest namely that I be conuerted liue and be saued If the enormitie of my sinne doth constraine mee to doe that vvhich thou hatest doth it also hinder thee to doe that vvhich thou desirest when as thou art a God omnipotent Farre be it oh God farre be it oh Lord my God that the wickednesse of a repenting and lamenting Sinner should preuaile more then the sentence the Omnipotent Remember oh iust holy and mercifull God that thou art mercifull and also my Creator and Recreator Therefore good Lord remember not thy Iustice against thy sinner but remember thy vvonted clemencie towards thy poore creature Remember not thy anger against a guiltie offender but be mindfull of thy accustomed commiseration and mercie towards a miserable sinner
Weepe for thy selfe bewaile thy sinnes lament thy transgressions for they indeed were the tyrants that compelled thee to beare so heauy a Crosse they vrged thee to abide the penalty of so bitter a curse Touch my heart oh Lord touch my heart with the sting of a serious and restlesse compunction that I may no longer lye lulled a sleepe in the lap of careles security fetter my feet that I may runne no more in the broad way of iniquitie Mannacle my hands that they may be deteined from cruell and impious actions Snaffle the vnbrideled motions of my minde that it may be restrained from all idle scelerous and wicked cogitations keepe the doore of my lips and hedge in my tongue that it may not run without the bounds of reason Stop the passage of mine eares when they are allured to listen to any loose or lewd discourses Dispell and disperse the thicke clowdes of blindnesse from mine eyes take away the grosse scales that darken my sight so that now I may see the vgly and deformed shape of my sinnes that I may cease to loue them begin to dislike and to loath them which caused my Sauiour to endure the heauy wrath of his Father which lay so heauie vpon his soule and body that the weight of it pressed blood out of his veines mingled vvith water Luke 22.44 so ponderous was the burden of our iniquity so dolorous was the extremity of his bitter agonie for neuer was there sorrow like vnto this sorrow Let my sweetest musicke be continuall mourning let my songs of ioy be turned into wofull lamentations let it be all my pleasant melody to muse on the miserie of my soule and multitude of my sins which made thee discend from the highest heauens and will throw me downe to the lowest hell vvhere the firie lake burneth that shal neuer be extinguished whose flames is so fierce that it cannot be greater by any augmentation neither is it subiect to any diminution If all the torments vvhich bloody Tyrants haue inuented could be inflicted vpon me at one time and my body vvere able to feele the paines of all them at once yet all of them vvould not be so horrible as one sparkle of this terrible fire it needeth no fuell to nourish the flame as it selfe neuer is wasted so nothing iniected into it is euer consumed No tongue is able to expresse the horrible pangs of the damned soules which are tormented in this euerlasting and vnquenchable fire Let the horror of it be fresh in my memory and the meditation imprinted in my thoughts so that my hands may tremble and shake for feare and my whole body quiuer and quake vvith terror of it when any euill imagination is hatched in my heart or any wicked deed should be acted with my hands that I may be terrified from nourishing sinne within my bosome that layd so heauy a Crosse vpon thy shoulders yet vvhen feare hath cast me downe let the gentle hand of thy mercy raise mee vp so that in my last deadly agony I may still lift vp my heart and hands towards the seat of thy mercy and though remembrance of my haynous transgressions do present nothing vnto mee but cause of feare and terrour yet al my vnfained repentance cause me to taste of thy infinite loue and boundles mercy Teach me oh my sweet Sauiour to follow thee with fearefulnes to the place of execution and to take vp my Crosse with alacrity on my shoulders But if thou wilt haue mee to follow thee oh my most gratious Lord then draw mee after thee For vnlesse thy Father and thou doe draw me I am not able to follow thee Iohn 6.44 I see mine owne infirmity I feele the defects of my great imbicility the cup of affliction is bitter vnto my taste if it doe but once touch my lips I am ready to refuse it I will none of it I am loth to feele any paine I couet nothing but wanton pleasure Oh how doe I begin to storme if I be but crossed with an vnkind word much lesse am I able to beare the crosse of a malitious deed How is my minde troubled the temper of my senses distempered if any thing fall out crosse to mine expectation or contrary to my desire so that oftentimes my mouth is filled with cursing my heart with grudging and all my words sauour of nothing else but bitter repining I am willing to be thy disciple my blessed Sauior so long as I may dwell in peace and reape a plentifull haruest of prosperitie but alas I am weary of thy company if I feele but a little blast of aduersitie teach me oh my sweet Iesu and I shal learne if thou be my schoolemaister to know that it is the lot of those which will be trained vp in thy schoole to be vnder the rodde of correction and that none are worthy thy to receiue a Crowne vnlesse they be willing to take vp thy Crosse those that belong vnto sweet spices which send forth alwayes the most odoriferous smell when they are brayed and brused in the morter they are like vnto stones which must be hammered hewed and squared before they can be fit for the building of thy holy Temple yea they are like vnto gold mixed with much drosse and can haue no glory before they be fined and refined seauen times yea seauenty times seauen times in the fire of affliction Arme thou my hart with christian fortitude my minde with constant patience oh thou which art mine omnipotent Redeemer that no torment may be so great no affliction so grieuous no miserie so vnmeasurable but I may couragiously suffer it to publish the glory of thy name and constantly endure it to manifest the fidelitie of thy loue Teach me so to carrie thy Crosse in my heart and let the remembrance of it be so deepely imprinted in my minde that I may daily crucifie my carnall concupiscence wanton vanities and worldly desires Oh let my soule be so rauished with ioy by the sweet meditation of thy mercie and all my senses so well pleased and ioyfully delighted with the odoriferous sent of thy loue that I may seeke nothing thinke of nothing so much or speake of any thing so often as of my crucified CHRIST who onely of his free mercy and gratious bountie died a most vile painefull and ignominious death for mee a most vvretched miserable and desperate sinner that by his pretious bloud and blessed though bitter PASSION I might be made partaker of Euerlasting Saluation Graunt mee oh my sweet CHRIST some taste of it here vpon earth that I may patiently waite for the full fruition of it hereafter in HEAVEN Amen A Meditation declaring the bitter and cruell crucifying of our Lord Iesus Christ performed on Mount Caluarie MED XIIII View here the wounds of Christ vpon the a Luk. 23.33 Crosse His head his hands his feet also his b Ioh. 19.33 side Bleeding amaine Consider eke the losse c Luk.
sauage cruelty without mercy so their words and speeches were vnciuil void of all modesty Some cry out He saued others let him saue himselfe if he be the Sonne of God the Souldiers disdainfully deride him and scornfully mocke him saying If thou be king of the Iewes saue thy selfe Also they that passe by nod their heads at him reuile him bitterly and blaspheme him saying Ah thou which doest destroy the Temple of God and in three dayes dost build it againe saue thy selfe If thou be the Sonne of God come downe from the Crosse Oh how cruelly was my innocent Sauiour tormented with their vnmercifull hands oh how was his righteous soule woūded with their malicious tongues their words do sauour of Gall and their speech is more bitter then wormwood But so great was their malice so grieuous was their indignation so deadly was their hatred against my louing Iesus that they thought all their cruell deeds were too litle to be inflicted vpon him and that all their words were not halfe bitter enough which their venemous mouthes did spue out against him But as my blessed Redeemer did patiently suffer the extreame tortures of their merciles hands so hee did meekely beare the bitter taunts of their reuiling tongues Oh let the memory of this thy exceeding patience bee so deepely sealed in my minde that my thoughts may stil meditate on thy infinite loue let my teares often flowing out of my eyes be true tokens of my inward sorrow and let my grieuous groanes be as faithfull messengers to declare my true repentance For it was my horrible transgressions and hainous offences my kinde and louing Sauiour that made thee to abide the tyranny of their bloody and murthering hands and to feele the sting of their sharpe and malicious tongues But alas mine eyes are so dry that they cannot shed a teare and my heart so hard that it cannot yeeld a groane vnlesse thou moysten the one with the gratious raine of thy graces and mollifie the other by the vertue of thy spirit Now not onely the irreligious Gentiles who were actors of this bloody Tragedy and the enuious Iewes who were authors and Spectators of all their cruelty did disgorge the bitter choller of their malice against my crucified Iesus but also one of the malefactors hauing no remorse of conscience for his owne offences nor pitty on my Sauiour so grieuously taunted and spightfully scorned of the basest of the people began to raile vpon him without modestie to vse these tearmes against him full of vile indignitie If thou art Christ saue thy selfe and vs Luke 23.39 But his other fellow touched with sorrow for his sinnes and freely confessing that they had both worthily deserued did iustly suffer death for their transgressions began to reprehend him for his blasphemous impietie and to iustifie my Iesus for his blamelesse innocency And when he had rebuked his fellow for such great inhumanity he turned to my Sauiour to implore his mercy that he might be made partaker of the ioyes of his heauenly Kingdome vttering this short and sweet prayer Lord remember me when thou commest into thy Kingdome And hee had scant ended his short petition but my mercifull Sauiour made him this gratious answere Verely I say vnto thee this day thou shalt be with mee in Paradise Luke 23.43 But now let vs consider oh my soule with deuout attention and behold with attentiue deuotion what riches of infinite bounty what large promises of vnmeasurable liberalitie what a blessed inheritance my bountifull redeemer doth promise vnto this poore naked and true though late repenting sinner How might this blessed promise mittigate the sorrowes Oh thou sorrowfull sinner of thy perplexed minde How might it ease the soares of thine afflicted body for as faith bred in thy heart a true contrition and opened thy mouth to make that humble petition so no doubt it sealed such an assurance vnto thy wounded conscience that thou didst stedfastly beleeue his promise and faithfully looke for the performance But how may my speech extend it selfe to the length of thy boundlesse liberalitie my most liberall Redeemer How may my words measure the bredth of thy vnlimited mercy yea how can my thoughts sound the bottomlesse Sea of thy benignitie in thy first words vttered on the Crosse thou doest pray thy Father to forgiue thy cruell tormentors and in thy second words thou doest bountifully giue Paradice vnto a sorrowfull sinner Oh who can worthily estimate the dignitie of the gift who can sufficiently extol the bounty of the giuer although my sweet Iesu thy whole life was the merit of our saluation yet at thy bitter death thou didst pay the full price of our redemption Oh happy theefe that had such a sweet tast of thy mercy Oh blessed soule that wert made partaker of such infinite bounty Oh what great graces excellent vertues were infused into thee that thou didst beleeue my Iesus to be the true Son of God thy Creator whom thou didst see to die the death of a miserable creature As thy faults were intollerable in thy dissolute life so thy faith appeareth admirable at thy sorrowfull death For what but faith was the motiue to moue thee to sue to him to be remembred in his kingdome of eternall felicity who to thy outward eyes appeared nothing else but a spectacle of wofull misery and as thy confidence was great and thy loue much so thy Iesus doth speedily assure thee to enioy a bountifull reward Therefore I pray thee my most bountifull Iesu so to inspire my minde with thy grace and so to kindle thy loue in my brest that I may be contented to be crucified with thee here vpon earth that I may be receiued by thee into thy kingdome of heauen And grant that I may so truly lament for my trespasses and shed such bitter teares for my sins that I may faithfully say with this penitent theefe Lord remember mee when thou shalt come into thy Kingdome For I confesse O Lord I haue beene no better then a Theefe for I haue robbed thee of thy honor I haue bene vntrue vnto thee concerning thy glory My lips are defiled with lying my hands haue wrought the workes of deceipt I haue often beguiled the widdow and defrauded the Orphane I haue sought to make my selfe rich by oppression I haue beene disobedient to my gouernours and would not liue vnder their lawfull subiection Oh Lord remember not my great and grieuous offences let thy mercy blot them out of thy memory that they may not be laid against me when I shall be summoned to appeare before thee Remember me according to the multitude of thy mercies as thou didst this late-repenting malefactor whom thou hast left vnto mee as one rare example of thy infinite mercy that I should not dispaire in regard of thy iustice and that I should not presume to sin in respect of thy mercie Oh let me remember this rare example of thy extraordinary goodnesse so that I may
downe and consorted vvith the sonnes of darkenesse Why hast thou refused sweet Hony to feed on Gall and wholesome food to cloy thy stomacke with stincking dung At that time oh sweet Christ thy Family was cleared thy Houshold purged when such a leaprous person and deadly diseased creature went out into the world from the company of the Angels societie For then at last were the thirsty soules of that blessed company plentifully filled with sweet flowing streames of thy Diuine Word and vvith the most pleasant liquor of thy true celestiall Nectar which thou art alwayes able and euermore willing to giue vnto thy faithfull Seruants when hee was worthily cast out from thy most holy and blessed Family whom thou didst know to be vnworthy to taste one drop of that liuing water which quencheth the thirst of all sinfull soules for euer when thou of thy free loue dost afford them to drinke of that blessed Fountaine be their thirst neuer so great or the people neuer so many which resort to receiue refreshing by it SECTION X. NOW when thou hadst giuen a new Commaundement to thy louing Disciples that they should knit their hearts together with the true vnion of perfect loue Iohn 13.34 and arme themselues with patience against the approaching day of their fiery triall and also hadst disposed the kingdome of thy heauenly Father to thy faithfull Brethren thou cammest to the place with them well knowne vnto couetous Iudas that Traitour which did betray thee into the hands of the cruell Iewes who were as greedy to buy as he was couetous to sell thy innocent and precious bloud Yet thou diddest not audaciously obiect thy selfe vnto suddaine danger or desperately throw thy selfe into perill but thou wert willing to offer and lay downe thy owne life to deliuer vs poore condemned vassals from the heauy doome of eternall death knowing all things which should come vpon thee Iohn 18.4 Oh vnsearchable profundity of thy infinite loue Oh glorious beames of thy gracious mercy For like a tender-hearted Father thou haddest willingly cast thy selfe into suddaine danger to haue deliuered thy Children from some imminent perill or if thou haddest aduentured thy life to haue rescued thy friends from threatned death this without doubt had beene a deed of true naturall affection and excellent loue But that thou shouldest of thine owne accord offer thy selfe to death to saue thy deadly enemies and willingly shed thy bloud to ransome thy mortall foes This oh sweet Sauiour is a miracle of superadmirable kindenesse beyond the compasse of all vnderstanding SECTION XI VVHen thou wert come to the place where wretched Iudas had bargained to betray thee into the hands of the wicked Iewes thou wert not ashamed to confesse the heauy pangs which thou didst sustaine by thy approaching Passion in the audience of thy Brethren which thou wert willing to endure not for thy owne desert but by thy owne desire for our sakes and our sins saying My Soule is heauy euen vnto death Mat. 26.38 So ponderous was the burden of our iniquities so heauy was the weight of mine yea of all our sins layd vpon thy shoulders And there bowing thy knees on the ground and falling downe with thy face on the earth thou diddest in thy bitter agonie offer vp thy humble petition to God thy Father saying My Father if it be possible let this Cup passe from me Matth. 26.39 Indeed that Cup contained a deepe draught to be taken of thee for the health of our languishing soules more bitter then Colloquintida to the mouth or Gall in the maw And no doubt but the bloody sweat which trickled downe on the earth by drops from thy most holy flesh did plainely declare the sorrowes of thy perplexed minde and the anguish of thy sorrowfull Soule Luke 22.44 Oh powerfull Lord Iesus what meaneth or what is the cause of thy lamentable supplication Didst thou not wholly of thine owne accord offer vp thy selfe for a Sacrifice to thy Father and willingly shed thy bloud to pay the price of our ransome Yes verely oh gracious Lord it was thy exceeding great loue and onely mercy that did moue thee so patiently to vnder-goe the wrath of thy Father that thou mightest deliuer vs condemned sinners from his iust and heauy displeasure that by thy stripes wee might be healed and that by thy free and voluntary death wee might be restored to a second and euerlasting life But we thinke that thou didst willingly taste the bitternesse of our miseries and in thy selfe expresse vnto vs a true passion of our weakenesse for the comfort and consolation of all thy feeling members that no man might dispaire or let goe the Anchor of stedfast Hope when our weake flesh fainteth and our naturall faculties faileth but yet the spirit is ready to abide the painefull pangs of any passion and to suffer the conflicts of any affliction whatsoeuer Truly thou didst expresse the naturall weakenesse of the flesh in thy selfe by those tokens vnto vs that wee might the sooner be prouoked to embrace thee with more loue and gratefully to yeeld thee greater thanks Whereby also we are taught that thou didst truly beare our diseases and infirmities and that thou hast not runne through the thornes of grieuous passions vvithout the sense of painefull afflictions For that voyce seemeth to be the voice of the flesh not of the Spirit by that which thou hast added The Spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weake Marke 14.38 And thou diddest openly declare that the Spirit was willing to suffer the deadly pangs of thy grieuous passion when thou diddest goe forth of thine owne accord to meete those bloudy minded persons conducted by their damnable General trayterous Iudas in the night time furnished with lanternes torches and weapons seeking without any cause raging vvith malice to destroy thy harmelesse life and cruelly to shed thy innocent blood and there didst openly discouer thy selfe to their eyes and offer vp thy selfe to their bloudy hands least they might thinke themselues beholding to their bloudy guide and that by his craftie pollicie thou hadst beene suddainely and vnwillingly apprehended For thou diddest not repell or put backe that cruell monster comming to kisse thy most holy mouth but diddest gently put thy mouth in which there was found no guile to his mouth abounding with venome and filled with malice who vnder token of loue pretended nothing but deadly hate and with a dissembling kisse to betray thee into the hands of those who were ready armed to kill thee And although desperate Iudas became his owne hangman Mat. 27.5 yet many doe follow his steps and desperately runne to their wilfull wofull destruction Oh innocent Lambe of GOD how couldest thou endure that such a rauenous Wolfe should come neere vnto thee that came so greedily to deuoure thee What fellowship hath light with darkenesse What agreement hast thou with Beliall But this oh Lord was a deed of thy gracious benignitie and an act of thy exceeding
afford him any refreshing in his iourney he was so highly displeased that it made so faire a shew and bare no fruit that he cursed it and so it withered and became barren for euer Wert thou oh my gracious Lord so highlie displeased with this fruitlesse Tree and wert thou not grieuouslie offended with the vnthankfull Iewes No doubt but thou hadst iust occasion to haue cursed that vngratefull Nation whose hearts were so barren that they did beare no fruit and their mindes so deuoid of all common humanitie that although they euer stood in neede yet they did neuer deserue any drop of thy sweet and comfortable mercie Oh Lord who can worthilie land the immeasurable largenesse of thy infinite mercie who can throughly taste the sweetnesse of thy most excellent bountie It was thy desire to haue wonne them by mildnes it had beene thy delight to haue conuerted them by kindenesse thou diddest curse that barren tree which had store of leaues but no profitable fruit to teach that gracelesse Nation what thou did dest expect at their hands and what thou mightst haue iustly inflicted vpon them for the hardnes of their harts whose mouths were often filled with religious words their hearts and hands being euermore emptie of charitable works Be thou wise therefore oh my soule thinke not that thou hast done enough if thou vtterly condemne those inhumane and hard-hearted Iewes who had not so much kindnes as to offer thy Sauiour a crum of bread or a cup of colde water vnlesse thou thy selfe make some prouision to entertaine thy louing Iesus whensoeuer hee shall vouchsafe to come into thy Cottage to visit thee in kindnesse Oh how happie shalt thou be if thou art prouided to welcome so good a Guest whose acceptance shall bring thee eternall blessednesse and who is so kinde that he will dwell with thee for euer and where he remaineth their store is alwayes increased their riches are multiplyed in abundance he cannot he will not be chargeable vnto thee if thou wilt shew him infallible tokens of thy true loue and make any prouision be it neuer so meane to receiue him with chearefulnesse he expecteth no sumptuous preparation hee longeth for no daintie cates hee regardeth no magnificent pompe hee hateth vaine ostentation and outward glorie he can neuer abide to make any abode in that house which is not furnished with true humilitie Oh happie is that soule that is not vnprouided at his comming but standeth alwayes ready at the doore to open vnto him whensoeuer hee knocketh and is willing to enter Consider also ô my soule the great paines and diligent labours of thy industrious Sauiour who continued the day time in the Temple preaching and teaching the people and in the night praying or instructing his Disciples therefore if thou wilt shew thy selfe a faithfull seruant to so good a Lord and a louing Disciple to so kinde a Maister set him alwayes before thine eyes as a perfect patterne and liuely example to imitate him in the carefull execution of thy lawfull calling Weare not out the moment of thy poasting life in carnall delights fulfilling the lewd desires of the wanton flesh accounting worldly pleasure thy chiefest treasure and making thy bellie thy God for the end of such is eternall damnation God hath giuen man an vpright countenance that hee should lift vp his head and looke towards Heauen therefore derogate not so much from thy dignity as to haue thine eyes and thy thoughts still fixed vpon the earth like vnto the bruit beasts neuer well pleased but when like a Mole thou art turning ouer thy siluer and golden heapes Thou seest oh my soule that thy louing Sauiour Iesus did seeke by all meanes to benefit the Iewes his vnnaturall Country-men and to do them all good but they were alwaies so froward that they were euermore forward to doe him nothing but mischiefe and hurt who hauing exiled tender pittie from their eyes all humane compassion from their harts had not onely so much kindenes as to offer him a morsell of meat to refresh his weary body at night when he had laboured all day to feed their soules with spirituall bread but most vnkindely their chiefe rulers and the Scribes held a Councell against him complotted many strange inuentions forged many odious calumniations and imagined many false crimes cruelly to depriue him of his harmelesse life and to accelerate his speedy death because the good deeds which Christ did daily to the people were vnwelcome newes to their eares and bred nothing else but sorrow in their enuious mindes Therefore they raged with fury and conspired in bitternesse of their malice how they might entrap Christ Iesus by craft and subtiltie and so like an innocent Lambe lead him away to the slaughter for so fell was their hatred to the life of our Sauiour so greedie were they to hasten his death that had they not feared that the people would haue hindred their wicked purposes interrupting the course of their malicious practise they would haue vented their swelling spite and disgorged their full stomackes surcharged with malice against him on the feast-day but they suspected their cruell deede at that time would haue stirred vp greater tumults amongst the people which did reuerence Iesus as a Prophet for if they might haue had their owne will and satisfied the longing of their enuious humour they would haue spared no day nor regarded any place so they might haue split his innocent bloud Oh with what damnable counsell and diuellish deuises doe I heare thy furious enemies consulting against thee my innocent Iesus thou Lord of eternall glorie What false imaginations what monstrous inuentions what hellish stratagems what forged accusations did they coyne against thee their hearts burning and their hands itching to cut off thy blessed life to staine the earth with thy precious bloud and to worke as they wickedly wished thy finall destruction How cruelly doe these faithlesse Iewes conspire against thee those impious wretches said within themselues carried away with the violent current of their irefull imaginations let vs oppresse that righteous man let vs swallow him vp in our rage let vs sodainely deuoure him in our madnes let vs set traps to take him and lay snares to entangle him let vs roote him out from the land of the liuing that his name may neuer be remembred any more because he is obstinate in contradicting our words and peremptory in carping at our workes Wee cannot wee may not tollerate his arrogancie wee will not brooke his oppositions Hee layeth open our sinnes to increase our shame he professeth that hee hath the knowledge of God and nameth himselfe the Sonne of God He discloseth our secret thoughts hee is loathsome to our eyes wee cannot abide him in our sight the course of his life is opposite to our Lawes he is an open aduersary to our Decrees hee abstaineth from our wayes as though they were wicked defiled with vncleannesse and polluted with vices We are
had a Diuell These thy children my most louing Iesus doe sit like Oliue branches round about thy Table They sate downe with thee lincked together with the bond of perfect loue the mindes of all them being faithfull vnto thee and all their affections longing after thee onely Iudas was an odious Traytor and thou knewest well enough that he should betray thee They all eate with thee the meat set before them and they eate the pure Paschall Lambe after the manner of the Iewes Oh blessed house oh happie supping-parlour worthy of great honour in which my gracious Lord vouchsafed to make his blessed Supper Wherefore was not I there then my sweet Sauiour to attend vpon thee and thy faithfull Disciples I would haue esteemed it as my greatest honour to haue done thee any seruice Certainely I would haue gathered vp some of the crummes which fell from the Table of my Lord. Oh how ioyfull would it haue beene to my hart Oh how would it haue pleased mine eyes to haue had but a view of thy amiable countenance I would haue fallen downe flat at thy feete and with Mary Magdalene I would haue washed them with my teares And thou oh my most mercifull Lord which didst not despise the teares of a sinfull and a sorrowfull Woman wouldst not haue reiected mee a poore Publican and grieuous sinner and as thou wert compassionate towards her so thou wouldst also haue beene mercifull to me Oh how comfortable would thy most pleasant speeches my sweet Sauiour haue beene to my sorrowfull soule how quickly would thy most wholsome words wherwith thou didst refresh thy louing Disciples haue healed the wounds of my grieued conscience What did my Lord beginne to speake what were thy first words when thou wert set at the Table Thou saist I haue earnestly desired to eate this Passeouer with you before I suffer Oh how great is thy Charitie how immeasurable is thy loue my louing Iesus Thou didst earnestlie desire to eate with thy Disciples but it was not to slake thy hunger or to refresh thy feeble nature thou hadst no such neede of corporall food but it was thy meate to doe the will of thy Father Thou wert desirous to leaue some tokens of thy exceeding loue with thy louing Disciples before thy departure and to seale them an euerlasting assurance of thy continuall prouidence ouer them let the precious balme of thy soueraigne mercie heale the deepe and deadly wounds of mine iniquitie Oh my God open thy pittifull eares to heare my petition answere me graciously and despise not my prayer Command my wandring heart to come out of the broad way that leadeth to Hell and damnation and to returne into the narrow path which conducteth to heauen and euerlasting saluation so that being once againe returned into it it may neuer hereafter wander out of it Shut all worldly cares and wicked cogitations out of my heart that neither the heauie burthen of them may so depresse my minde that the deuotion of my Prayer cannot ascend vp vnto thee nor so stop the passage of my soule that the comfort of thy grace cannot descend downe vpon me Draw mee vnto thee my most louing Iesus thou which art mine assured saluation in the day of my greatest miserie and my onelie comfort and consolation in the last and latest houre of my deadly agonie for I am wounded and my heart is consumed because I haue forgotten to eate my bread which should haue nourished me to euerlasting life Indeed I haue beene altogether forgetfull of thee my beloued Iesus for I haue not called to my minde thy most holy Passion with any zealous or serious meditation I haue had no delight to thinke vpon thy precious wounds which thou didst suffer to heale my sores neither haue I found any comfort in the pure streames of thy innocent bloud powred out to wash away my sinnes and to purge my corrupted soule I haue not looked after my beloued in the day I haue not longed for my Bride-groome in the night I confesse my gracious Lord I haue not beene mindefull of thee my thoughts haue beene wandring abroad my minde hath not been exercised with any sweet meditation of thy mercie my spirit hath not beene troubled with sorrow for my sinnes mine eyes haue shed no teares nor my heart sent forth any sighes for my manifold transgressions Therefore what shall I doe I will returne to the Lord my God and I will call vpon him I will not cease to reiterate the most holy Name of Iesus vntill thy voice sound in mine eares there there Come therefore oh good Iesus and haue mercie vpon me Heare oh sweet Iesus the prayer of thy seruant infuse and dip my heart in thy bloud and diffuse thy grace into my soule oh most mercifull Iesus let my heart oh most louing Iesus be like waxe melting in the middest of thy bloudy side Cloath my minde with the mourning garment of thy Passion and let my zealous affections burne like fire in my serious meditation Leade me oh my most milde and kinde Iesus to thy most holy Supper where I may heare thee speaking to thy Disciples sitting at thy Table after thou haddest washed their feete Tell mee oh my soule if thou hast read what the Lord my Iesus did when he sate downe againe to the Table after the washing of his Disciples feete Verily while they were yet eating Iesus tooke bread and giuing thanks he blessed it brake it and gaue it to his Disciples and said Take and eate this is my body which is giuen for you doe this in remembrance of mee And when hee had giuen euery one a morsell hee tooke the cup and powring wine into it giuing thankes hee likewise gaue it to them saying Drinke yee all of this for this is my bloud of the new Testament which is shed for you and for many for the remission of sinnes and they all dranke of it Let vs pause a while oh my soule and with deuout meditation ponder in our mindes and treasure vp in our hearts the wonderfull things which our blessed IESVS hath done for vs for our mercifull and gracious Lord hath made a memoriall of his wonders hee hath giuen meate to them which feare him Oh wonderfull Supper in which so many admirable things were done and effected This was thy last Supper oh most sweet Iesu which thou didst make when thou wert about to depart out of the world to thy Father How many admirable wonders of thy exceeding loue how many miracles of thy infinite mercy are presented vnto vs in this thy blessed Supper but thou hast most speciallie ordained this mysticall sweet delightfull and heauenlie sacrament of thy body and bloud that the memorie of thy Passion might remaine for euer in the mindes of the faithfull Oh wonderfull Sacrament in which is contained such abundance of all kinde of sweenesse no sweetnesse be it neuer so dilicious can come neere it in goodnesse no pleasure be it neuer so incomparable is
soule turne thine eyes from thy Sauiours humilitie and take a suruey of his bitter pangs in his grieuous Agonie whose heart was inflamed with heate and all the parts of him so vexed with paine that streames of sweate mixed with drops of bloud ranne downe from his sacred bodie Luke 22.44 Oh would my head might be turned into a fountaine or teares and my bowels melt with tender compassion in this my sorrowfull meditation when I thinke vpon the dolorous pangs and dolefull paines which pressed drops of bloud out of the innocent flesh of mine afflicted Iesus Oh how was thy bodie pained how was thy minde perplexed how were all thy senses tired in this great worke of our Redemption How heauie is the weight of my sinnes that dissolueth the blessed bodie of my Lord vnto such a wonderfull sweat How is the beautie of thy face which the Angels doe behold with ioy and gladnesse changed with rednesse through excessiue heate how immoderately is it moistned with showers of watrish and bloudie sweate Thou diddest but speake the word and thy word was a worke at the first Creation Gen. 1.3 But now I see thee sweating toyling yea thy heart aking while thou art acting the worke of our Redemption Oh wretched man why am I so carelesse of the health of my soule when it cost thee so deare a price to redeeme it What shall I say what shall I doe my good Iesu my heart is as hard as iron and my bowels no softer then brasse I haue no sense of tender compassion nor any feeling of sorrowfull compunction mine eies are as dry as the Pumise stone I cannot shed one teare to weepe for my sinnes which were the source of thy sorrow and the cause of thy passion Indeed my heart should distill drops of bloud and mine eyes should trickle downe teares when I meditate in my minde on the intolerable paines which thou didst suffer to satisfie the Iustice of thy Father for my grieuous sins and to saue my guiltie soule Oh how can I excuse nay rather how should I but accuse my wretched and vile ingratitude Where shall I hide my head for shame where shall I shrowd my selfe from thy presence My conscience is a continuall witnesse against me that I am an vncleane and polluted creature I may not I dare not approach vnto thee vnlesse thou wash me in the sacred Lauer of thy precious bloud for then I dare and may appeare before thee Wherefore haue mercie vpon me shew me some pittie my compassionate Iesus giue me a Fountaine of teares that I may weepe for my forgetfulnesse towards thee all the day and water my bed for mine vngratitude with my weeping all the night and so deepely imprint in my minde the paines of thy Passion that I may account all the time ill spent and the day quite lost wherein I doe not meditate on them teach me to imitate thee my mercifull IESVS that with bended knees and an humble heart I may make my earnest prayer before thee inspire my minde with thy holy Spirit and then teares of true Repentance shall flow from mine eyes Send thy Angell oh Lord to bring mee consolation in the distressefull time of my tribulation for thou hast ordained them to assist vs in our prayers and to comfort vs in our sorrow And as thy Angell appeared to comfort thee Luke 22.43 so also thou wilt neuer faile to send thine Angell to comfort vs if wee pray vnto thee with true humilitie of minde and sue vnto thee with heartie sorrow for our sinnes Instruct mee also after thine example my blessed Sauiour not to despaire of thy mercie although it be long before I receiue any comfort Thou didst pray three times before thou hadst any consolation in thine Agonie or any answere from thy heauenly Father and as the fiercenesse of thy grieuous Passion was augmented so the feruencie of thy most holie prayer was increased Mat 26.44 that by thy patience our courage might the better bee cheared and our Christian Magnanimitie more firmely resolued to tollerate Famine Nakednesse Persecution or any affliction whatsoeuer with constancie and meeknesse building our hope vpon a firme rocke of a stedfast resolution that wee shall eyther haue deliuerance out of trouble or comfort in our tribulation all in good time day houre yea minute and moment which the Lord hath appointed It is thy owne worke it is thy onely mercie my mercifull Sauiour to corroberate our mindes and confirme our hearts with this constant and Christian resolution Wherefore I beseech thee for thy bountifull mercie for thy mercie is my onely merit to work such a resolute constancie in me that in the bitter brunts of affliction I may depend vpon thy wakefull prouidence and wholie submit my selfe vnto thy diuine will knowing that nothing can happen to thy Children but that which thou hast determined to be most expedient for them whether they liue at rest in prosperitie or be tryed like gold in the fire of aduersitie A Meditation how IESVS arising from Prayer went to meete Iudas and of the multitude which came to apprehend him and how Peter cut off one of their eares MED VII The Prince of peace the Lambe of God a Math. 26.47 betraid Expos'd to murderers by a traytours b Matth. 26.49 kisse Iudas c Matth. 27.3 restores the price the Priests had paide Despairing d Matth. 27.5 hangs himselfe Traytors marke this AFter IESVS had receiued consolation by his Prayer he went forth to meete false-hearted Iudas who had solde him for a prey to the bloud-thirstie Iewes for he knew that the time did approach and that the houre drew neere wherein hee should glorifie his heauenly Father and accomplish the wonderfull worke of our Redemption Here oh my Soule the first matter of our Meditation is the monstrous ingratitude of a gracelesse Disciple towards his gracious and louing Master how odious is his deede vnto my thoughts how doth his hellish madnes torment my minde Oh that my tongue might be more bitter then gall to exclaime against the dissembling hypocrisie of such a deceitfull Disciple and my speech more sweet then honie to proclaime the singular sinceritie of so louing a Master that our soules might abhorre the infidelitie of the one and our hearts for euermore imbrace the faithfulnesse of the other Oh thou most wicked wretch thou wretched stubborne and obstinate Traitor thou Childe of the Diuell thou Sonne of perdition what furious malice hardened thy heart How wert thou brought to such raging madnesse how could the light of thy reason be so darkened how couldest thou be so grosly seduced that thou should'st betray thy most louing Master and my most gracious Lord Was there no sparke of grace left in thy breast had impudence so blinded thine eyes and crueltie taken such sure possession in thy heart that nothing could change thy bloudie minde and stay the rage of thy franticke moode wherewith the Diuell had bewitched thy soule and
tongue did not cease to prattle when multitudes did flocke after thee through the Cities and when the base people did swarme after thee through the villages and desarts And art not thou hee which preaching to the rude multitude in the Temple and pleasing their giddie humor with thy long orations was so impudent to inueigh against vs Pharises Doctors of law and Rulers of the people calling vs hypocrites checking vs rudely for our Manners and reproouing vs rashly for our Doctrine neither respecting the dignitie of our persons nor dreading the force of our authoritie Now behold wee haue thee sure enough thou canst not escape our hands thou art bound for feare of starting we are no babes to be wonne with faire wordes Now we haue thee thou wretch as thy wicked deedes haue deserued such shall be thy recompense Wee are none of the rude and base multitude thou canst not gull vs with thy flattering speeches nor beguile vs with false apparitions Suppose oh my wofull soule that thou doest heare the cruell Iewes bellowing out such bitter taunts against my harmelesse and innocent Iesus in the heate of their rage adding more cruell deeds to their cruell words for all of them like mad-men rush vpon him in their violent furie Some thumpe him with their hands some spurne him vvith their feet some strike him on the necke and as their hands vvere nimble to load him with blowes so their tongues were not idle from rayling and reuiling him with scornefull words Oh how wonderfully is my Lord derided how vnworthily is hee scorned Yea some so barbarous was their mindes and so brutish was their manners do spit in his face Who euer did see such grosse inhumanitie who doth not abhor such beastly inciuillitie They all striue who should doe him most hurt and contend one with another to doe him most mischiefe seeking by spightfull words to vexe his minde and by cruell blowes to wound his bodie Oh my louing Iesus how bitter are their speeches direfullie breathed out against thee How terrible are their practises so bloodilie inflicted vpon thee Why are not my vitall spirits damped with woe why are not mine eyes drowned in a flood of teares and why is not my soule ouer-whelmed with the waues of sorrow in this my sadde Meditation of thine afflictions and deuout contemplation of thy humane miseries Wherefore gush forth oh yee teares from the inward fountaine of my heart and ouerflow mine eies with your plentifull shewers But art thou made of flint Oh my hard heart that thou doest not breake into pieces Is thy substance of marble that thou doest not cleaue asunder when I meditate vpon these cursed inuectiue reproches and wicked deedes done to my innocent Iesus by the stony-hearted Iewes Alas for mee a most wretched sinner that my Lord should suffer such great and grieuous affliction for my sake and yet that I should still remaine sencelesse in my sins and haue no remorse of conscience for my hainous offences Haue mercy vpon mee most mercifull Lord because I call all these things to minde and haue them in my meditation but for want of true loue I am depriued of true deuotion and my hard heart is without all sense of sorrowfull contrition Therefore wound my heart my louing Iesus that I may be grieued with thee and suffer for thee that thou maist vouchsafe to shew me mercie that I may with more boldnesse approach vnto thy Maiestie Thou wert humbled and I disdaine my brethren vvith pride Thou wert pinched vvith hunger and I surfeit with abundance thou wert afflicted with torments and I spend my dayes in wanton pleasure Thou didst weepe to thinke vpon the vvofull destruction of Ierusalem but I am not touched with any tender affection of mercie when I see thousands oppressed vvith miserie I can finde no place my sweet Iesu to hide my face from confusion I can finde no remedie for my deadly maladie but in the vertue of thy comfortable mercie Oh cure my disease with this excellent medicine and salue all my vvounds with this pretious Balme that all mine affections may be so kindled vvith thy loue that I may reioyce to suffer and suffer vvith reioycing for thy glorious name vvho wert content to bee scorned and scourged to be accounted as an abiect amongst the vile and wicked that I might be raised out of the pit of endlesse miserie to be exalted for euer vvith thee in the Pallace of eternall glorie A Meditation how Peter denied his Maister three times in the house of Cayphas and of his weeping for the same MED X. Trembling with feare caus'd by a silly a Iohn 18.17 Maid Once twise yea b Luk. 22.60.61 thrice Saint Peter doth deny His blessed Lord c Mar. 14.72 Remembring what Christ sayd Goes forth repents and d Mat. 26.75 weeps most bitterly NOw let vs cease a while to meditate on my Sauiour and consider how Peter carried himself in the afflictions of his Master He was loath to leaue him because he did loue him and therefore although at the first hee fled yet hee returned againe with the other Disciple who by friendship brought him into the Pallace of the high Priest and as Peter stood there by the fire a maide looked vpon him and said to them that were by This man also was with Iesus of Nazareth But Peter who not long before had made such great brags of his loue was now so daunted with feare that he flatly denied his seruice saying I know not the man And a little after another sayd vnto him Art not thou also one of his Disciples So that now Peter was not content simply to denie him but hee beganne earnestly to forsweare him Now within a while after another came and said Verily thou art one of them And then Peter began to curse and sweare saying I know not the man whom thou speakest of and immediately the Cocke crew And the Lord who stood not far off in the hands of the wicked looked back vpon Peter not refusing faint-hearted Peter to be his seruant although he had denied and abiured him for his Maister Then Peter remembred the words which Iesus had spoken to him and he went out wept bitterly Mat. 26. Now let vs seriously meditate on the frailtie of Peter that seeing so stout a Souldier so soone daunted with feare we may take heed not to presume too much vpon our owne weakenesse lest we play the cowards and start backe as he did when wee are put to our tryall Consider oh my soule the feruency of his loue and greatnesse of his feare the willingnesse of his minde and weakenesse of his might I dare not say but that Peter did loue his Lord and was sorry for the distressed estate of his master although his heart fainted and his stomacke failed in the time of danger hee thought hee should haue beene able to haue performed in deedes that which he had so boldly boasted in wordes but alas hee
did not know his owne imbecilitie his eyes were blinded that hee could not see his owne infirmitie the spirit indeede was willing but the flesh was weake He began to shew some courage when he drew his sword and cut of Malchus his eare but alas it was soone abated and he fled from his Maister when hee saw him in the hands of his enemies and surprised by his cruell foes And albeit hee was so bolde spirited then that hee durst resist a multitude of men yet hee was so timerous now that being terrified with the voyce of a Mayde hee did renounce his gratious LORD and flatly denie his louing Maister so soone were his boasting words turned into cowardly deeds the professed constancie of his loue found most inconstant in the day of tryall So we may note that Peter presumed hee was able to haue done great exploits while hee was with Iesus but we see the vigor of his courage was soone diminished and the heate of his loue cooled when hee was separated from his Lord Iesus so long as he did enioy peaceably his blessed societie so long he dreaded no danger he liued in securitie In time of peace he thought of no war In time of calme weather he feared no suddaine storme But when he entered into the house of the high Priest where hee saw his poore Master spightfully derided mocked and cruelly scourged then his courage was cooled his haughtie words proued no deedes and hee became a starke coward Learne thou also oh my soule by the example of Peter to loue thy Lord Iesus but so to loue him that no affliction or calamitie may compell thee to leaue him But say with the Apostle Who shall separate me from the loue of Christ shall tribulation or anguish shall persecution or hunger I am readie not onely to be bound but also to die in Hierusalem for the name of the Lord Iesus Learne likewise by the example of Peter not fondly to vaunt of thine owne courage or to boast of thy strength let the remembrance of his fall be as a bridle to restraine thee from running headlong into the like fault Say not in the prosperous time of thine aboundance vvhen all things succeede happily according to thy wish and nothing falleth out contrarie to thy desire I shall neuer be moued least afterward thou be constrained to change thy note vveeping vvith bitter teares for thy folly and lamenting for thy presumption with sorrowfull sighes saying Thou didst turne away thy face from mee and I was troubled Teach mee oh Lord to know mine owne weakenesse open the eies of my vnderstanding that I may see the frailtie of my flesh and ficklenesse of my minde when any cloud of persecution doth appeare ouer my head or any dread of future affliction trouble my heart I often presume vvith Peter that I could goe to prison vvith thee abide any torment for thy sake yea lose my life for thy loue my louing Sauiour but alas I see by the frailtie of thy beloued Disciple that I should proue but a dastard when I come to fight thy battell and begin to seeke some couerture to hide my head from danger For how can I boast of my valour or bragge of my manhood when as one of thy stoutest Souldiers who had beene so long trained vp vnder thee and had receiued so many encouragements by thee began to faint at the word of so weake an enemie that hee did denie the seruice of so good a Master onely for feare before he felt the bitternesse of affliction What is man that hee may boast of his strength or be proud of his vertue when the best is so vnable to performe a good action that he is altogether vnable to conceiue a good motion Lighten thou oh my gratious Lord my darke and obscure vnderstanding that I may not fondly runne into the snares of temptation through a vaine confidence of my owne power or through a fond presumption of my owne strength seeing I am so weake that I cannot conceiue any good thought in my heart nor do any good deed with my hands vnlesse thy diuine grace doe gouerne mine affections and direct the course of my actions But oh my most mercifull Sauiour although the allurements of the flattering world should so intice me the pleasures of the wanton flesh so ouercome mee and the feare of persecution so terrifie me that I should be ashamed of thy liuerie and denie so gracious a Lord yet vouchsafe oh my sweet Iesu to turne thy fauourable eies towards mee that my faith may not vtterly faile though it begin to quaile and that thou wilt neuer leaue mee vvhen I begin to shrinke from thee Oh let me not presume of thy loue nor dispaire of thy mercy Let remembrance of thy words wound my heart and awake my sleepie conscience that my soule may be cast downe with true sorrow and that I may vveepe yea vveepe bitterly vvith sorrowfull Peter Luk. 22.62 for my sinnes that I may be made partaker of the benefit of thy comfortable mercie and obtaine remission of my grieuous transgressions by true Repentance as he did Thou hast left this example of the fall of thy louing Disciple recorded in thy holy word not to animate vs to commit the sinne of presumption but to comfort vs that wee runne not into the pit of wofull desperation when wee are ouertaken with the like fault and haue committed the like folly therefore teach me oh Lord so to presume of thy mercie that I may alwaies stand in awe of thy Iustice I am not assured that thou wilt turne thine eies towards mee as thou didst towards him so that my heart may be smitten with sorrow and mine eies streame forth bitter teares of true Repentance and that thou wilt receiue me into thy blessed seruice againe as thou didst him after I haue denied thee to be my Lord and Master It was thy free mercie to afford vnto him such an vnspeakeable grace of thy extraordinarie loue he could plead no worthinesse of words nor merit of workes to deserue thy fauour But oh most gratious Lord if my guiltie conscience doe at anie time tell mee that I haue or doe commit the same offence yet vouchsafe that I may resort to the euerlasting fountaine of thy plentifull mercie that there my thirstie soule may bee refreshed with the sweet waters of comfort so that it may neither be drowned in the Sea of excessiue sorrow nor wounded with the Darts of curelesse dispaire Now consider thou oh my soule the place where Peter was and the conditions of the people who were vvith him vvhen hee made such a fearefull defection from his gracious Lord and failed in his loue towards his kinde and louing Master He was in the Palace of the high Priest who sate in counsell with the Scribes and Pharises against the Lord and his annointed amongst a wicked crewe of these cruell Ministers vvhose mindes were incensed with furie and hands armed with crueltie to
torment my innocent Sauiour Marke how soone he was infected by their vvicked manners how soone his soule was corrupted with their naughtie conditions for now he began to protest with swearing and to affirme with cursing that he knew not his louing Maister to whom not long before hee had made a solemne vow not onely to forgoe his libertie for his cause but also to loose his life for his sake Luke 22.33 Oh fearefull downfall of so great an Apostle for if his louing Master and mercifull Sauiour had not beene more constant towards him in his loue and tenderly compassionate towards him by his mercie hee had neuer recouered himselfe but had perished for euer No man can touch Pitch but hee shall be defiled no man can tread vpon thornes with barefeete but he shall be pricked nor any man holde his hands amongst fierie coales but they will be burned Euen so no man can remaine amongst lewd persons and conuerse in the companie of the wicked but his minde shall be stained with the spots of impietie his conscience wounded with the thornes of sinne and his soule made loathsome vvith the botches and blaines of iniquitie But so soone as my beloued Iesus had turned his eies towards Peter and vvith his lookes had awakened his drowsie memorie then perplexed Peter remembred the words of his Master so that his heart being surcharged vvith sorrow and his eyes flowing with teares he left that wicked companie and went out and wept yea he wept bitterly Luk. 22.62 Teach me oh Lord to leaue the dangerous societie of the wicked neither let mee desire or delight to dwell in the Tents of the vngodly Let me also learne by the example of thy sorrowfull Disciple to goe into some secret place and with-draw my selfe from the people when I call my selfe to reckoning for my transgressions but alas I am negligent in casting vp this account and begin to sorrow for my sinnes and to shed teares for my grieuous offences that all impediments may be remoued from mine eies and as much as is possible all vaine and vvicked cogitations out of my heart vvhen I come before thy presence oh Lord to prostrate my selfe before thee in submissiue humilitie desiring thee to passe ouer mine offences and to forgiue me my sinnes through thy infinite mercie Then oh my good Lord so deepely vvound my conscience vvith horrour of my detestable sinnes that I may offer vp a broken and contrite heart vnto thee because thou art alwaies vvell pleased vvith such a Sacrifice and it sendeth vp a sweet sauour into thy nosethrils Now consider oh my soule that as the trespasse of Peters deniall vvas great so his sorrow vvas grieuous as the remembrance of his fall vvas sowre so the streames of his teares vvere bitter yet they vvere not so bitter vnto him for feare of punishment as they vvere bitter because hee had denied so sweet and so louing a Master the remembrance of his horrible ingratitude vvas more bitter vnto him then gall and more vnpleasant then wormewood his teares vvere bitter vnto him in respect of his presumption who promised so much and performed so little and they vvere bitter vnto him vvhen he thought vpon the sweet loue of his Master and the great benefits hee had receiued of him And yet their bitternesse vvas mixed vvith sweetnesse because they were signes of his hartie sorrow and tokens of his true repentance for where true repentance goeth before remission of sinnes alwaies followeth after Eze. 33.19 Thou seest also that the lookes of the Lord did draw out teares from Peters eies Neither is it any wonder for the eies of the Lord were as a flame of fire and the eies of Peter as Ice vvhich began to melt into teares by the influence of their heat as true tokens of his sorrowfull relenting and penitent heart Oh happie are thine eies my blessed Sauiour vvhich doe so warme the coldnesse of our harts that they may bee able to haue some sense of thy loue and doe so illuminate our dimme vnderstanding that we may see our errours and seeing may sigh and weepe for our transgressions Oh how soone doe they dissolue the Ice and melt the frost of our hard harts and turne it into the waters of bitter lamentation and sorrowfull deuotion Oh my most bountifull Iesu oh my most mercifull Lord haue mercy vpon mee pitty my vvofull case shut not the dore of thy compassion against mee oh let me taste of the sweetnesse of thy wonted clemency vvhich haue so often so stubbornely renounced thee through the peeuishnes of my will so often denyed thee by my wicked words and most often forsworne thee by my wretched deeds Haue mercy vpon me oh my most sweet Iesus let the beames of thine eyes make their reflection towards mee that mine eyes may melt into teares as the rocke did gush forth water when Moses smote it with his rod Exod. 17.5 that I may weep for my sins and bewaile my transgressions which haue so often refused thy seruice because I vvas loath to leaue the vanities of the wicked world or to forsake the pleasures of the wanton flesh Heale mee oh Lord for I am full of sores and my bones doe rot away with corruption Stay me vp oh Lord when my feete begin to slide and lift me vp when I am downe vnlesse thou support mee I cannot but slide and vnlesse thou doe lift me vp I cannot rise againe when I doe fall I can doe nothing vvithout thee thou onely doest heale those that are bruised and thou alone doest raise them vp that are fallen Therefore looke towards mee and haue mercie vpon mee for I am desolate and poore Neither turne away thy face from me but let thine eyes be fixed vpon me If thou wilt vouchsafe oh my most kind and louing Lord to shew me this mercy and to regard the wofull estate of mee a most wretched creature then oh Lord I shall call my transgressions to remembrance mourne for my grieuous offences that I haue committed against thee Raise mee vp oh Lord out of my dead sleepe of carelesse securitie as thou didst Lazarus out of his graue Ioh. 11.43 44. open the eyes of my vnderstanding that I may see to tread in the pathes of thy commandements Be thou as a strong Pillar to support and stay me in my weakenesse for I am so feeble that I cannot stand without thy helpe and euery moment I shall bee ouerwhelmed vnlesse thy strong hand doe support me Let thy eyes oh my louing IESVS be euermore turned towards mee that I may euery day returne vnto thee by true and harty repentance sorrowing for my sinnes that are past and endeuouring by thy grace to take better heed to my wayes in time to come so that I may do that which is agreeable to thy sacred law and acceptable to thy holy will Oh my GOD let thy seruant Peter his falling put me in continuall minde to take heed to mine owne standing and his
submit thy selfe to such slauish cruelty not sparing to shed thy most pretious bloud to compound of it a most soueraigne Medicine to cure my desperate malady Now what measure of wordes can be so great or what voyce so vehement as may fully expresse the extreame impietie of the bloudy Iewes towards my blessed Iesus When such hellish fury did rule and reuell in their fiery harts that in the middest of so many bitter paines and pangs of his body and insupportable anguish of his soule they did impose so ponderous and heauy a Crosse on his faint and feeble shoulders being framed extraordinarily in respect of the matter and also vnvsually in regard of the forme More gently were the two Theeues vsed which were led along with him who were constrained to endure no such labor for we may wel think they would vse more kindnes to those wicked persons then to my holy Iesus For we doe not read that they were put to the toile to beare their Crosses whose bodies vvere more able because they had not felt one fit of the grieuous paines nor suffered one iot of the great tortures wherewith my sorrowful Sauiour had beene all the night before extreamely vexed and cruelly tormented Heere thou hast iust cause oh my soule to cry out against the monstrous inhumanity and brutish crueltie of the Iewes acted against thy despised Iesus What imagination can sound the bottome of their sauage tyrannie What tongue is able to make a perfect relation of their horrible furie Was it not a most ruthfull Spectacle forcible enough to haue drawne streames of teares out of the dryest eye and to haue incited a multitude of heauy groanes out of the hardest heart to see my beloued Lord carry so heauy a burden vpon his painefull shoulders yet bleeding with cruell wounds lately without any meane or mercie inflicted vpon them was there euer cruelty like vnto this Oh my louing Lord Oh my most beloued Iesu thou art now become a laughing-stocke to the barbarous Gentiles and matter of derision to the perfidious Iewes They scorned despised flouted and derided thee bearing thy heauy Crosse with patience towards the place of execution whereon thou shouldest suffer a most bloody bitter and shamefull death And so went my Lord Iesus with constant humanity towards the place where he was to suffer the deadly pangs of their extreamest tyranny whose knees were so weake and legs so feeble that they were not able to support the weight of so heauy a burthen which with such disdainful indignation they had imposed vpon him that thereby they might so much the more increase his derision and multiply his dolorous affliction Oh yee most cruell tormentors doe yee neuer cease to molest vexe my humbled Lord Iesus Could not one cruell death haue quenched the flame of your blood-thirsting malice Oh vvhy doe you abuse his meeke-minded patience by compelling him to feele so many deadly passions Now when those malicious persecutors saw that my vvearyed Christ was so surcharged vvith his heauy Crosse being so weightie in respect of the ponderous substance and also so cumbersome in regard of the extraordinary length that although hee had a willing minde yet that he had not sufficient strength to carry so heauie a load then they compelled Simon of Cyrene the father of Alexander Rufus to ease him of his burthen and to follow my tyred Christ with that painefull Crosse What did their stonie hearts now begin to relent vvith any motiue of compassion towards my poore afflicted Iesus No for the Curres were more curteous that licked the loathsome soares of hungry Lazarus that lay crying and dying for want of foode at the gate of their churlish maister then those vncircumcised Gentiles and stiffe-necked Iewes were to my innocent Iesus For how should their mindes be affected with any sparke of pittie whose harts were drowned in so deepe a sea of impietie But because they were loth that my Sauiour should end his tedious life before hee came where hee should suffer a most painefull pittifull and shamefull death they graunted him a little ease that he might goe with better speed and make a little more haste to the place of execution where they should play like the infernall Furies the last act of their bloody Tragedie Oh my sadde and sorrowfull soule how canst thou calme the waues of thy flowing sorrow how canst thou how canst thou asswage the pangs of thy turbulent passions when thou dost meditate how many miseries mischiefes calamities and distresses were violently inflicted vpon my beloued Iesus by the hatefull handes of those bloudy tormentors Oh my most mercifull Iesu Oh my most louing Lord Oh why was not I with thee at that time my sweet Christ that I might haue carried thy heauy Crosse Oh how happily should I haue shut vp the last euening of my short and gloomy dayes Oh how blessedly should I haue finished my restles course if I had died with thee on thy sacred crosse Oh how sweet had the sharpe deadly pangs and dolorous paines beene vnto mee how ioyfull had dolefull death bene vnto me a sorrowfull sinner if I had died with thee my bountifull Lord and blessed Redeemer It may be thou wouldest haue bequeathed me some liberall gift of thine indulgent mercie as thou didst vnto that true though late repenting thiefe vvhich was crucified with thee For at that houre thou didst franckely bestow the riches of thy bountiful mercy and then thou gauest the treasure of thy mercifull bountie Then sweet streames of pure vvater did flowe out of the cleare fountaine of thy mercy comfortable to coole the heat of a thirsty tongue and medicinable to cure the spreading malady of a leperous soule infected with sinne Oh vvould I had bene there to haue had some sweet taste of that blessed fountaine If I had drunke neuer so little it would haue beene enough to haue quenched my thirst and yet I should still haue thirsted to drinke more although I had drunke neuer so much If the cursed churle damned glutton had had but one drop of this caelestiall water it had bin sufficient not onely to haue cooled the tip of his flaming tongue but also to haue extinguished the fire of his euer neuer-dying soule and of his continuall burning and neuer consuming body tormented in Hell fill my soule oh my sweet Christ with this comfortable vvater that may cure my sinfull soares and mittigate my deserued sorrow But as thou didst go toward the place vvhere thou shouldst offer vp thy selfe for a compleat sacrifice to appease the vvrath of thy angry Father to make an euerlasting attonement betweene him and vs his disobedient children thou saydst vnto those mourning women who could not containe their trickling teares nor deteine their sorrowfull sobs to see their louing and dearely beloued Lord so doggedly haled and currishly handled Weepe not for me ye daughters of Ierusalem weepe for your selues your children Luk. 23.28 And now thou sayst vnto me
my bosome that being dead he may be carried out to his graue that my soule may be infected no longer vvith his carnall impietie and that I may no longer wilfully loue but willingly loath and for euer leaue his damnable company But now oh my sorrowfull soule turne thine eyes towards thy crucified Iesus meditate seriously in thy minde let it be the perpetuall matter of thy thoughts to thinke how thy louing Sauiour was most pittifully martyred and cruelly mangled tortured vvithout any pittie scorned at his death vvith vile indignitie and thought vnworthy of any mercy or kinde humanity that thou mayest mourne for thy sinnes in the morning and repent for thy misdeeds in the euening vvhich were hard-hearted and bloudie-handed executioners to crucifie thy innocent Iesus Crie out oh my vvretched and vvicked soule trembling at the vgly sight of thy grieuous sinnes and troubled vvith the horrour of thy guiltie conscience Cry out saying Oh my sweet Iesu oh my milde and mercifull Iesu how exceeding painefull are the pangs of thy Passion how violent are the streames of thy afflictions how cruelly is thy body wounded and thy soule pressed vvith the heauie vveight of my sinnes Oh how horrible how detestable how innumerable are my transgressions that tormented my Sauiour vvith so many heauie afflictions What a deere price didst thou pay for my Redemption At what a high rate hast thou bought me a most wretched sinner no summes of gold had it beene neuer so much no heapes of siluer had they beene neuer so great could rid mee out of Captiuitie It vvas onely thy pretious bloud that might pay the price of my ransome It was onely thy innocent death that vvas sufficient to purchase my freedome How is the naked body of my louing Redeemer and kinde Reconciler stretched out vpon the Crosse to deliuer mee from the bitter curse vvhich vvas due vnto me for my monstrous impiety and the execution of it readie to be serued vpon me for my intollerable iniquitie How firme are thy harmelesse hands fixed vnto thy Crosse how hard are thy innocent feete nayled vnto it Thou hast onely liberty to moue but Alas no where to lay downe thy weake and vvearie head Thou liest naked obiected to the blasts of the vvinde and storme of the weather thou hast no cloathes to keepe thee warme thou hast no shelter to keepe thee from harme Thou wert poore indeed at thy birth but now thou art more poore at thy death for at thy birth thou hadst a Stable for thy Chamber and a Manger for thy Cradle thou hadst swathling cloathes although they vvere course that might defend thee from colde and cherish thy tender body But at thy death thou art cruelly robbed of all thy garments thou hast not so much as a ragge to lay vpon thee the sharpnesse of the aire nippeth thy skin the furie of the windes stormeth against thy naked body thou hast no roofe to couer thy head from the blustering windes thou hast no place of harbour to protect thy body from the stormie weather Oh how hard is the bed thou liest vpon at the houre of thy death How hard is the pillow that lieth vnder thy head when thou art readie to yeeld vp thy breath How is thy blessed body debased by wretched men heere vpon the earth which is so highly honoured by the Angels in Heauen Oh how should my heart faint vvith bleeding vvounds of sorrow for my sinnes How should mine eies make my bed to flote with a flood of teares when I begin to call to an audit my hainous trespasses and to cast vp the infinit summes of my transgressions which caused my Lord to passe through such a great Campe of miseries and to abide the bitter brunts of so many calamities for vvhat hadst thou done oh my most sweet Lord what hadst thou done that thou should be so spitefully despised so maliciously martired so extreamely tortured and so cruelly tormented What wicked action had thy pure hands committed nay what good deed had they omitted that they should be so pittifully wounded How had thy innocent feet transgressed that they should be so seuerely punished How had any little particle of thy blessed body offended that it should be so grieuously tormented Truly thy deeds my blessed Sauiour were alwaies acted vvith integritie and thy words did vtter nothing but truth and sinceritie thy hands were alwaies cleane from sinfull actions thy heart vvas alwaies pure from vvicked cogitations It vvas thy meruailous loue thy miraculous mercie thine vnspeakeable pittie that did induce thee to suffer those torments vvhich were due vnto me for mine offences It was I my sweet Sauiour it was I my selfe that had so grieuously sinned It was thy wonderfull charitie it was thy charitable mercy to shed thy pretious bloud to cure the desperate disease of my deadly miserie But such oh such and so vile is the horrible ingratitude of my minde such and so great is the dulnesse of my memorie such and so hard is the stupiditie of my hart that I am vnthankfull for thy mercy forgetfull of thy bounty senselesse without any compassion yea quite colde without any zealous meditation of thy grieuous Passion Haue mercy vpon mee oh my most mercifull Lord haue mercie vpon mee Oh let the sweet dew of thy infinite mercie distill downe vpon my head yea rather let it bee infused into my heart that it may mollifie the hardnesse of mine affections moisten the drinesse of my bowels and fructifie my minde with the fruits of thy loue because I cannot yea rather because I am vnwilling to suffer vvith thee and loue thee so little vvho hath alwaies loued mee so much for I freely confesse I haue no sense of thy innarrable and innumerable sorrowes which thou didst suffer for the multitude of my sinnes Alas mine eyes are dry without teares my kinde Iesu my heart is so dead that it cannot breath forth any heauie groanes mine affections are starke colde without any heate of true deuotion so often yea rather so seldom as I enter into a meditation of thy bitter Passion and ruminate thy tedious paines and terrible pangs vvhich thou didst feele in thy most pretious body to reuerse the sentence of damnation pronounced against me for my sinnes and to purchase a gratious pardon for my condemned soule But pardon me forgiue me my most mercifull Lord I haue a hart of Iron my bowels are more hard then Marble vnlesse thou mollifie them they are vnapt to receiue any print of thy mercie or any impression of thy grace Take away from mee I pray thee my stonie heart giue mee a fleshie and tender heart that may be vvounded vvith the thornes of sorrowe for my rebellious thoughts yeeld forth dolefull groanes for my grieuous sins and bleed vvith the vvounds of compunction when my minde doth meditate on thy heauy Passion Oh why should not my heart my vvretched heart be pinched with some paine for the loue of thee vvhich didst vvillingly
vouchsafe to die for the loue of me Wherefore haue the sparks of my loue lien so long couered in the embers Or rather why are they almost extinguished Oh what seuere punishment should I take of my selfe for my monstrous ingratitude How is my tongue able to vtter one word yea one sillable of a word to excuse the coldnesse of my loue How may I blush nay how may my face be confounded with shame vvhich am so vvayward and vnwilling to suffer any little affliction for thy sake who endured so many extreame torments for my sinne I lie on feather-beds couered vvarme vvith cloathes and thou didst lie naked nailed to a woodden Crosse and that in the time of colde weather vvhen others doe vvarme themselues at a fire If my head begin to ake I lay it downe vpon a soft pillow to ease my paine lessen my griefe But thou oh my louing Lord hast not so much as a bolster of straw vvhereon thou mightest lay thy dying head pierced with sharpe thornes and bleeding vvith many wounds When I am sicke my friends about mee bestirre themselues to ease my diseased body and to reuiue my fainting spirits But alas my sweet Sauiour there vvas none about thee at the houre of thy pittifull and painefull death vvhich vvould proffer thee any kinde deede no not so much as a comfortable word They offer thee bitter vvine mixed with mirrhe and mingled with Gall. But although thy thirst was great caused by the extremitie of thy paines and immoderate effusion of thy blood yet vvhen thou hadst tasted of it thou didst refuse to drinke of their bitter potion How hard were their harts yea how dead without any feeling of common compassion that could giue vnto my sweet Sauiour no better then such a bitter Potion Such was the succour that they would afford thee at the houre of thy death This was the best Cordiall they would giue thee a little before the parting of thy breath What iust occasion hadst thou my mercifull Redeemer yea what admirable patience hadst thou that thou didst not bitterly inueigh against the bloudie Gentiles and vnbeleeuing Iewes who were so maliciously madded and bloudily minded against thee that all vvhich they sought and all which they wrought was to augment thy sorrow But whilst their hearts were inflamed with malice against thee and their hands labouring to crucifie thee thou wert so farre from accusing them for their sauadge cruelty that thou didst pray vnto thy heauenly Father that hee would remit and forgiue their iniquity saying Father pardon them because they know not what they doe Luk. 23.34 And this oh my sweet Christ vvas the first vvords vvhich thou spakest vpon thy bitter Crosse Indeede they knew thee not for their eyes were blinded that they could not see and their hearts were hardned that they could not vnderstand Heere maist thou meditate oh my soule with exceeding comfort vpon the wonderfull patience admirable mercy sweet words of thy louing Sauiour who was not so much grieued with paine of his owne afflictions as hee was earnest to pray for the remission of their sinnes Hee did not once open his mouth to make any iust Apologie for his owne innocencie nor to denounce any deserued malediction No not one bitter vvord against them for their dogged cruelty But in the extremest pangs of his bitter Passion his tender heart was moued vvith pittifull compassion towards them he opened the fountaine of his mercy that the sweet streames of his Benediction might flow vpon them Hee blessed them that cursed him hee shewed them a true token of his entire loue for their cruell hate he prayed for them as if they had been his dearest friends when indeed they were his deadly foes How should my feeble tongue like a trumpet oh my bountifull Iesu sound forth the wonderfull worthinesse of thy surmounting mercy How should mine vnable and barren hart conceiue the dignitie of thine vncomparable meeknesse How should the weake sight of my darke vnderstanding pierce into the hidden mysteries of thy gratious mildnesse vvhich surpasseth all vnderstanding How affable and ineffable is the sweetnesse of thy charitable prayer how bottomlesse is the depth of thy clemencie how vnexhaustible is the treasure of thy benignitie How large and spacious yea how infinit are the bounds of thy mercie For with what tranquility of minde with what piety and pittie of heart with what sweet milde and perswasiue words didst thou sue for their pardon vvho now were breathing out nothing else but curses against thee vvith their malicious tongues and euen now acting the extremity of their Tyrannie against thee with their bloudie hands Thou wert not discouraged by their iniuries thou wert not hardned with their reproches thou didst not rebuke them for their euill words thou didst not check them for their wicked deeds thou didst seeke to salue their soares who gaue thee deadly wounds thou diddest make intercession for their life who cruelly put thee to death thou wert full of pitty towards them whose hearts were empty of all compassion towards thee Oh with what wonderfull mildnes of mind with what great deuotion of spirit in what abundance of loue didst thou cry Father forgiue them Oh wonderfull worke of thy worthy mercy oh rare and memorable example of exceeding pitty oh perfect patterne of excellent charity oh let me poore wretched sinner taste the sweetnes of this hony reuiue my dying heart with this cordiall compassion relieue my sicke soule with this comfortable confection Cry out so for me my sweet Lord and kinde Mediator commend my wofull case and pleade my cause vnto thy Father saying Father forgiue him For in truth I know not what I do loue of the world hath blinded mine eyes desire of carnall pleasures is rooted in my heart and all manner of wanton vanities are rife in my minde I runne headlong in the broad way of destruction I cannot finde the narrow path which leadeth to Saluation Open mine eyes oh Lord that I may see to walke in thy wayes and direct my feet that I may tread in thy pathes Teach mee to follow the patterne of thy excellent patience so that I may not wish well onely to my dearest friends which dearely loue mee but also pray for my cruell enemies who deadly hate mee But alas how soone am I displeased how long is it before I will forgiue if I be once offended I am prone with enuious Cain to stain my hands with horrible murder I long for a day with rough Esau wherein I may slay my innocent brother I oftentimes fall out with my friend for a crosse word so that oftentimes in requitall I seeke to doe him a mischieuous deed I thinke my selfe the worse when I see him Oh how doe I disdaine to speake vnto him Teach mee to learne this hard lesson of patience purge the seed of malice out of my mind mellow the ground of my heart vvith the deaw of thy graces that it may not onely be
torture thy body and such furious tyrants to vexe thy soule how great oh my sweet Iesu are the tortures which thou doest patiently endure for my sake how painefull how shamefull and cursed vvas the death vvhich thou didst suffer for my sinnes the punishment was great wherewith thy body was afflicted the anguish was grieuous wherewith thy soule was affected the thornes vvere sharpe that wounded thy sacred head the whips were terrible that scourged thy naked body the nailes were painefull that entred through thy hands and pierced thy feete nothing but markes of cruelty appeared to thine eyes nothing but scornefull reproaches of thine enemies sounded in thy eares But as thy outward afflictions were vnspeakeable so thy inward sorrow was more intollerable vvhen thou didst thinke how forgetfull vvee vvould be of thy mercies and how vnthankfull we would be for thy benefits And as thou my most deare Iesu in the fiercest fittes of thine agonie and sorest pangs of thy Passion didst call and crie to thy heauenly Father for succour so teach mee to lift vp my deuout heart pure hands and a lowde voice towards the seat of mercy when any outward affliction doth pinch my body or any inward tribulation presse my soule teach me oh Lord in the stormie daies of my greatest persecutions to meditate on thy vvonted goodnesse and when my soule is most perplexed with the horror of my guilty conscience to thinke on the multitude of thy mercies But forsake mee not my sweet Iesu vvhen my strength faileth vphold mee when my feete begin to slide and raise mee vp vvhen I begin to fall thou doest neuer leaue them vvithout comfort in time of their trouble vvho come vnto thee vvith confidence of thy promises and faithfully craue thy succour Oh suffer not my soule to be cast downe vvith immoderate mourning or my mouth to be filled vvith murmuring when thy hand lieth heauie vpon mee Comfort my drouping heart with some taste of thy heauenly consolation vvhen either the sword of persecution doth vvound my body or sorrow for my sinnes doth afflict my minde Let mee remember that thy children are in this vvorld as the Israelites were in the Desart they shall haue many cruell foes abide hunger and thirst runne through many dangers and drinke of the bitter waters of Mara before they can come into heauenly Canaan and chaw the Wormewood of affliction before they can eate of the fruit of the tree of life more sweet then milke and more delicate then hony Let me remember that Abraham the Father of the faithfull was often afflicted that Iacob thy beloued was constrained to flye for feare of Esau his rough-handed and hard-harted brother and then vngently intreated and vniustly rewarded for his faithfull seruice by Laban his churlish Vnckle That Dauid thy chosen vvas often in danger of his life pursued and persecuted by furious Saul before he was aduanced to his Kingdome Oh let mee not forget the many miseries and bitter afflictions which tumbled in heapes vpon Iob thy faithfull seruant Let their patience calme the turbulent motions of my repining minde and let the remembrance of their deliuerance arme my hart with a confident and stedfast resolution that the eye of thy carefull prouidence neuer sleepeth nor slumbreth but continually watcheth ouer thy faithfull and beloued and that thine omnipotent arme is then stretched out to rid them out of perill vvhen they seeme to be in a desperate case past all hope and farthest from succour And let me know that affliction is the best hope that thy children may expect in this worldly Lotterie but yet let the anchor of my hope take such sure hold on thy promises in the time of my misery that I may alwaies be assured that thou art able and neuer vnwilling to cure my maladie if I call faithfully vpon thy name and waite thy appointed time with patience abiding constant in thy loue and confident in thy vvord Grant mee oh my Lord Iesus to crie out vnto thee in the daies of my trouble to craue thy strong aide in the houre of my tribulation O let mee drinke a deepe draught of the fountaine of thy mercie vvhen my poore heart is parched with thirst in this world of miserie Heare me from Heauen and let my voice sound in thine eares that I may receiue comfort when I am distressed helpe me vvhen I am oppressed and peace of conscience when my soule is afflicted that when I feele the sweet taste of thy mercy my lips may shew thy praise and my tongue declare thy glory saying With my voyce I cried vnto the Lord with my voyce I prayed vnto the Lord and hee heard mee A Meditation concerning the fift and sixt words which the Lord Iesus spake on the Crosse to wit I thirst and It is finished MED XVIII When Christ our Lord the a Zach. 13.1 fountaine of all blisse Had said I b Ioh. 19.28 thirst and that the houre was come That hee to Death must yeeld for our c Rom. 4.25 amisse He said It 's d Ioh. 19.30 finisht now and all is done HEere Oh my soule consider not onely the woes but mark the words of thy dying Iesus thou didst heare him cry vnto his heauenly Father with feruencie of his affection vttering the vehemencie of his affliction and now heare thy wofull Iesus speaking vnto the wilfull deafe-eard and dead-hearted Iewes saying I thirst And although enuie had so parched vp their hearts that they had no sap of relenting pittie yet let his words pierce so deepe into thy tender heart that it may be wounded vvith true compunction and stirre vp actiue and liuely motions of compassion vvithin thy bowels so often as thou dost thinke on his necessity and so often as thou dost meditate on his calamity but alas thou dost seldome or neuer meditate on his humane misery Oh what grieuous infirmities miseries distresses and calamities did our fraile assumed nature bring vpon thee my louing sweet and mercifull Iesu How many great and vnsupportable torments did our sinne yea my sinnes made thine by imputation compell thee to suffer What did cause thee to doe it my blessed Sauiour but the ardent feruour of thy exceeding loue What worthinesse of merit was there in vs as a motiue to mooue thee it was thine vnspeakeable mercy and nothing but thine inestimable mercy which did induce thee But canst thou oh my sorrowfull soule containe thy teares within the little caue of thine eyes and suppresse thy groanes and represse thy sighes within the hollow corners and cauernes of thy heart when thou doest thinke on the extreame thirst of thy louing Iesus and of the small compassion that was shewed vnto him by the vnmercifull Iewes wherefore cry out with the voyce of mourning and lament in thy crying say vnto thy beloued Iesus Oh my most louing Lord oh my most gracious Reconciler oh my most mercifull Redeemer how should my sad sorrowfull soule be afflicted with heauinesse how
offer vnto thee the wine of my true deuotion vvith the Mirrhe of mortification and gall of hearty contrition But as it might be dolefull vnto thee my soule to heare thy louing Iesus cry out Sitio I thirst so let it be ioyfull vnto thee to heare him take his farewel with Consummatum est It is finished Ioh. 19.30 Oh let the Meditation of this word be more sweet vnto me then the hony vvhich Sampson found in the carkasse of the Lyon vvhen he was hungry Iudg. 14 8. and more delectable vnto mee then the vvater vvhich hee found in the Iawbone of the Asse vvhen he vvas thirsty Iudg. 15.19 For now had my blessed Redeemer fulfilled the sacred decrees of the holy Scriptures concerning my saluation and appeased the wrath of his Father kindled against me for my sinnes Now he had cancelled the Obligation of my infinite debt and not vvith siluer and gold but with his owne most pretious blood purchased my Redemption And by his death conquered death hell and the deuill Oh happy death that hath redeemed mee to eternall life Oh glorious victory although my Sauiour obtained it so dearely Therefore let mee not be carelesse to sell that so cheape which my Sauiour hath bought so deare Let mee consecrate my soule and body wholly to him for they are his owne he hath dearely bought them Direct my spirit oh Lord by the leuell of thy perfect word let the meditation of my heart be day and night in thy sacred law that I may offer vp vnto thee daily the calues of my vnfained lippes speaking of thy meruailous kindnesse early in the morning and telling of thy manifold mercies late in the euening send downe a gratious raine of thy holy Spirit into the furrowes of my heart that the memory of thine innumerable benefits may perpetually flourish in my minde and thine euerlasting praises euermore sound in my mouth for thou alone art my Redeemer oh Lord God of my saluation A Meditation how CHRIST gaue vp the Ghost and of the wonders which were seene at his death MED XIX Strange a Mar. 15.38 wonders at our Sauiours death were wrought The graues did b Matt. 27.51 open and the dead came forth The Temple rent in c Luke 23.45 twaine Dumbe creatures sought T' expresse to blinded d Luk. 19.40 Iewes their makers worth LIft vp thine eyes oh my soule and behold how the countenance of thy Sauiour is couered with a deadly palenesse his sight beginneth to faile and his heart to faint yet a little before the departure of his soule and in his greatest pangs hee cryed out with a lowd voyce as if he had felt no paine saying Father into thy hands I commend my spirit and vvhen he had said thus bowing downe his head and closing his eyes he gaue vp the Ghost Luke 23.46 Now so soone as his blessed soule was dissolued from his breathlesse body the vaile of the Temple vvas rent into two peeces from the top the bottome the earth did quake the stones were rent the graues opened and many bodies of the Saints which slept arose out of their graues came into the holy Citie and appeared to many Awake thou now oh my soule lie no longer snorting in the bed of carelesse security vvhat wilt thou say what wilt thou doe oh my soule Thou seest that the earth trembleth quaketh that the stones doe cleaue in pieces and that the beholders are all amazed at the death of the Lord Iesus Oh! why art thou so senselesse oh my soule and as it were dead without motion at the recordation of the death and meditation of the Passion of thy Sauiour Oh let the sinnefull vaile of the Temples of thy head rend into peeces which couereth the eyes of thy vnderstanding let thy earthly body tremble with horror and thy stony heart cleaue in sunder with terror of thine impietie and now arise thou out of the graue of thine iniquitie let thine eyes waste and consume away with weeping and let thy heart melt away with sighing that thou mayest shew some signes of sorrow for thy sinnes and some tokens of true repentance for thy transgressions which caused the bitter Passion and procured the cruell death of thy innocent IESVS and cry out vvith the astonished Centurion Verely this man was righteous Hee was the Sonne of GOD Mat. 17. Lift vp thy hands crie out with a faithfull heart Oh my gratious Lord my sweet Sauiour and louing Redeemer how terrible were my trespasses how haynous were my transgressions that nothing but thy pretious blood could wash out the staines of mine iniquitie and nothing but thy death deliuer me out of the chaines of euerlasting captiuitie What shall I doe to gratulate the greatnes of thy loue how shall I perfectly rellish the goodnesse of thy mercy how shall I throughly tast the sweetnesse of thy compassion For how doth thy loue exceede in greatnesse how doth mercy abound in goodnes and how doth thy compassion excel in sweetnes that thou being the true and naturall Sonne of God shouldst be made man that we being sinnefull men should be made the sons of God yea when vvee were thine enemies vessels of sinne and vassals of Sathan And that thou being man shouldest be made subiect to the same passions to the same affections to the same afflictions that we are yea obnoxious to death to pay our debt but yet thy life was neuer infected with any sinfull action no not so much as affected with any euill cogitation Oh my kinde Iesu Oh thou innocent Lambe Oh my most louing Lord by how much the more I consider thy calamity by how much the more I ruminate thy mercy by so much the more cause I finde to be faithfully affected towards thee for the greatnes of thy loue and to be afflicted with thee for thy grieuous torments Oh let me behold in my serious meditation and see with the eye of mine vnderstanding how thy most sacred body is brused vvith cruell blowes thy tender flesh mangled with bleeding wounds thy venerable head perfored and pierced with a Crowne of pricking thornes thy beautifull forehead spotted and thy comely haire knotted with coniealed blood thy nosthrils offended vvith stinking spittle and thy blessed mouth distasted with gall and vinegar thy most bright eyes obscured with a vaile thy amiable face buffeted with fists and defiled with dust thy chast eares filled with reproaches thy naked body scourged with whips thy vveary shoulders shrinking and thy weake knees failing vnder the heauy burthen of the crosse thy most holy hands pierced thy blessed feet bored with sharpe iron nailes thy blessed side opened and thy heart wounded with a speare Oh let the remembrance of thy grieuous torments my louing Iesu let the memory of thy bleeding wounds and scornefull reproaches wound my heart with vvofull compunction and pierce into my hardened bowels that they may relent vvith tender compassion that I may feele some sense of painefull sorrow for thy
sake seeing thou hast suffered so much for my sinnes But before thou passe any further oh my soule doe thou not let it passe without earnest meditation how that although the hearts of the tormentors of mine afflicted Iesus were so poysoned with impietie and their hands so polluted with cruelty that they grieued his righteous soule vvith their scornes and reproaches killed his innocent body with their tortures yet that the fury of their malicious harts was so restrained and the violence of their cruell hands so repressed that they could not breake one bone of his blessed body as they did of the malefactors which were crucified with him because the sacred scripture had said they should not and therefore their hands were fettered that they could not Exod. 12.46 Num. 9.12 Zach. 12.10 Wherefore let this meditation comfort thy drooping heart oh my soule and consolate thy fainting spirits in the sowrest fits of any worldly misery and in the sorest conflicts of any affliction that can betide thee that no Tyrant be hee neuer so mighty or his heart neuer so malicious can imagine more in his cruell thoughts or act any more with his bloudy hands against thee then the Diuine prouidence hath predestinated and the counsell of the highest hath alwayes determined Let this resolution be as a pretious Balme to heale the wounds of thy sorrow and as a soueraigne Salue to cure thy soares that they may not fester with dispairefull repining or rancor with impatient mourning Let no dread of danger throw downe the Fort of thy hope let no Tempest of persecution shake the foundation of thy Faith and let no waues of affliction quench the flame of thy loue towards thy Sauiour but let the oyle of his sufficient grace so strengthen the sinewes of thy Faith when it waxeth feeble that thy heart neuer faile nor thy courage quaile when thou art molested with any sickenes or affliction of body or moued with any malady of thy mind being faithfully perswaded that no calamity can betide thee without his will nor no danger can come neere thy dwelling without his good pleasure and that no Tyrants although they be neuer so mighty can do but so much and no more against thee then hee in his wisedome knoweth to be profitable for thee For neither the prophane Gentiles nor the superstitious Iewes could doe any more vnto my innocent Iesus then he vvas willing to suffer who came to die for the sinnes of the people they could not do one iot more then was enacted in the highest Court of the Caelestiall Parliament determined by the secret Counsel of the Trinity confirmed by the euerlasting Statutes of the sacred Scriptures Confirme my mind oh Lord with a stedfast perswasion of thy power and comfort my weake nature with a resolute confidence in thy word that in the time of my aduersitie and day of my tribulation yea at the houre of my death I may commend my spirit into thy hands as thou didst thine into the hands of thy heauenly Father Oh what a consolation comfort may it be vnto me in my greatest misery to commend my soule into thy custody for there it shall remain in the safe harbor of eternal tranquility no more subiect to misery no more obnoxious to vanity the ioy that it shall possesse is vnspeakable the felicitie incomparable the continuance of it neuer decaying but alwayes durable without any change or ending Receiue my soule oh my louing Sauiour into thy hands that it may be safe vnder the shadowe of thy wings it is thine owne it came from thee and therefore let it returne vnto thee receiue my gift my bountifull giuer But because oh Lord nothing that is impure may appeare in thy sight neither canst thou behold any vncleane thing with thine eie purge my soule with the fire of thy spirit and wash away the spots of it with thy precious bloud that being beautified with the pure white robe of thy mercy Reu. 12.18 it may confidently approach vnto the Throne of thy Maiesty Oh let the affection of my loue be neuer defectiue towards thee and infuse that into me by the gift of thy grace which I am not able to obtaine by my owne strength captiuate all my sences that they may be obsequious to do thy will and frame all the members of my body to performe thy law that being partaker of thy death by true mortification of my flesh I may also be made partaker vvith thee of thy glorious Resurrection by the viuification of thy blessed Spirit A Meditation how the Lord Iesus was buried and of the lamentation of his Mother and other women for his death MED XX. Within a a Mar. 15.46 Tombe which in a Rocke was wrought Ioseph b Mar. 27.90 enshrines the body of our Lord. Wrapt in a c Luk. 23.53 Mark 15.46 cloath which hee of purpose bought Oh happy man that did such loue afford AS there was a wicked and couetous Iudas oh my soule amongst the faithfull Disciples of thy louing IESVS to betray him to a cruell death so there was a kinde Ioseph found among the Iewes who brought him honourably to his graue Oh who is able to relate the lamentation to expresse the sorrow and vtter the griefe of the Virgin Marie mourning for the death of her deare Sonne and other vvomen vvho did behold him vvith their compassionate eyes vvhen like an innocent Lambe he gaue vp the Ghost and bewailed his departure from them vvith floods of teares Now thinke that thou doest heare the Virgine Marie discouering the inward sorrowes of her heart of her grieued and wounded heart vttered out of her dolefull mouth passionate as she was a tender harted woman and more compassionate as shee vvas a louing Mother vvhen shee saw the vvounded and breathlesse body of her Sonne taken downe from the Crosse Let her sorrowfull words penetrate thine eares and pierce thy heart that thou maist bewaile the debts of thy sinnes as she lamented the death of her Sonne in this or the like manner Oh my most sweet Sonne what is my felicity which I had by thee in thy life Is it any thing else but extreame miserie at thy death how is my chiefest ioy changed into sorrow my mirth into mourning how is my reioycing turned into lamenting my cheerefulnesse turned into heauinesse nothing can mittigate my calamity nothing can ease my malady What hadst thou done oh my most deare Sonne what hainous crime hadst thou committed vvhat odious treason hadst thou perpetrated that thou wert condemned to die such a shamefull and bitter death Thy pure hands were neuer defiled with any euill actions and thy harmlesse heart did neuer harbour any vvicked cogitations thine eyes were neuer bewitched with worldly vanities nor thine eares delighted with lewd discourses thy mouth did vtter forth wisedome and thy tongue spake nothing but the truth thy whole life was a Mirrour of piety thy words deserued no reprehension thy deeds were without all
exception Oh how bitter was the malice how horrible was the enuie how blinde were the eyes how bloody were the hearts of the cruell Iewes to crucifie my deare Sonne my innocent Iesus how dolefull is it to mine eyes and dolorous to my heart to behold thy bright eyes obscured with deadly darknesse thy blessed hand depriued of action and thy beautifull feete senslesse vvithout any motion to see thy cheerefull countenance couered with an ashy palenesse thy skinne blacke and blew with blowes and thy flesh mangled with wounds This spectacle is so wofull that I can no longer behold thee with mine eyes and the waues of sorrow doe ouerflow my heart so fast that they stop my words and stay the current of my mournfull speech Now as Marie Magdalene did behold the blessed body of my Sauiour with his mourning Mother so she did not cease to lament his death who had beene so kinde a Master vnto her in his life What a plentifull streame of teares ran downe her cheekes What a spring of sorrow arose in her heart How did her sorrowfull sighes second her heauie sobs How did her dolefull sobs preuent her lamentable sighes Thinke thou doest see her kisse his senslesse hands thinke thou doest see her kisse his breathlesse feet speaking vnto her louing Master with her trembling voice being dead as if he did heare her and were aliue bathing them with her teares and giuing a little ease to her sore diseased heart by vttering these or the like words with her feeble lips Mary Magdalens lamentation for the losse of her Master Alas my sweet Master alas my most louing Lord the staffe of my stay the onely ioy of my heart the sole comfort of my perplexed spirit Alas for me how comfortlesse doest thou leaue mee how sorrowfull shall I bee by being without thee To whom shall I haue recourse for comfort in the straightnesse of my sorrow To whom shall I goe for succour in time of my trouble How lamentable is the view of thy vvounded head vnto mine eies How grieuous is the view of thy sacred hands and feet vnto my sight pierced with iron-nailes and depriued of sense which I so carefully annoynted bathing them with the teares of mine eies and drying them with the haires of my head Ioh. 11.2 and 12.3 Mat. 26.7 But now alas in stead of odoriferous oyntment they are mangled with wounds and spotted with blood Oh wretched woman oh miserable creature because I am depriued of such a louing and welbeloued Master Where shall I find one who will loue me so deerely and regard me so entierly Thou art hee which diddest often vouchsafe to come into my cottage and to sit downe at my Table and didst vouchsafe to honour my poore house with thy gratious presence when alas I was not able to afford thee any such entertainement as might in any sort requite thy kindenesse or recompence thy loue Iohn 11.28 Oh my most sweet Iesu thou didst defend me from the Pharisie who disdained me for my trespasses and loathed me for my sinnes Thou didst kindely excuse mee speaking in my cause and pleading my case when my sister began to be angry with me and to conceiue displeasure against mee Thou didst commend me when I did annoynt thee with a pretious oyntment washing thy feete with my teares and wiping them with my haire thou didst mittigate my sorrow thou didst remit my sins thou didst kindely aske for mee when I was not present with thee and commanded my sister to call me vnto thee Oh what great and how many demonstrations of thy loue how many tokens of thy kindnesse how many signes of thy charity how many arguments of thy mercie Oh my most sweet Lord hast thou shewed vnto mee vvhat a rich treasure of thy bounty hast thou conferred vpon mee When thou didst see my mourning for the death of my Brother thou didst comfort mee in my sorrow thou didst asswage my griefe thou didst weepe with me such was thy kinde affection towards my louing brother such was thy tender compassion towards mee his sorrowfull sister and thou didst not onely shed teares as signes of thy loue but thou didst raise my dead brother out of his graue for my consolation and restored him to life againe for my comfort Iohn 11.35 Ibidem 43. As nothing was more sweet and pleasant vnto me then to enioy thy blessed company so nothing can be more sowre and sharpe vnto me then want of thy comfortable societie But alas sorrowfull words are too weake a medicine to cure my maladie and although I haue cause to say much yet extreamity of griefe vvill suffer mee to say no more Now thou hast heard oh my soule the lamentation of a tender Mother deploring the death of her Sonne and also the pittifull mourning of a faithfull seruant bewayling the want of him who was her louing Master and bountifull benefactor canst thou be so stonie-hearted that thou art moued with no feeling compassion Is thy heart so hard that it cannot giue a groane Are thine eyes so dry that they vvill not yeeld a teare at the meditation of the death and buriall of thy Sauiour who died for thy sinnes and was slaine for thine iniquities I flie vnto thee my most mercifull Lord that thou maist mollifie and moysten my hard and dry heart with plentifull showres of thy graces turne my head into a spring of water and change mine eyes into a fountaine of teares I know not how to excuse my selfe because I haue beene so vnthankfull for thy benefits so forgetfull of thy mercies and so vnkinde vnto thee for thy loue What shall I say but woe and alas for me a most wretched and wicked sinner Who can measure the quantity of mine infelicitie Who can describe the horrour of my miserie Who can quiet the troubles of my minde Who can pacifie my troubled conscience because my hard heart hath not beene touched with any compunction nor my bowels moued with any compassion when I did think on thy cruell death and meditate on thy bitter Passion Oh wretched man that I am oh miserable creature for when others doe mourne at the meditation of thy Passion shed teares and send forth sighes at the remembrance of thy death my hart is so ouer-growne with hardnesse that it cannot be touched with sorrow and mine eyes are so dry without moisture that they vvill not send forth a teare Oh why doe I not sigh sob and weepe in my Meditation of the bitter Passion of my Sauiour my gratious and bountifull benefactor who did abide so many painefull torments and reproachfull taunts for my sinnes and suffered a most shamefull and cruell death on the Crosse for my transgressions How can I excuse the coldnesse of my loue How should I cleare my vnthankfull minde If Death take away my Father or depriue me of my Mother I water my cheekes vvith teares and vvearie my heart vvith groaning I can weepe for the death of a Brother and wring my
hands for sorrow at the buriall of my sister I cannot but mourne when I follow my friend to his graue my teares doe testifie my loue my voyce doth vtter words of lamentation my heart is sadde with sorrow and all my sences are disordered with griefe But alas how is the moisture of mine eyes consumed that they cannot yeeld one teare How obdurate is my heart that it will not groane when I think on the deadly pangs of my Sauiour and when I meditate on the grieuous passion and bitter death of my Redeemer who hath beene more beneficiall vnto mee then any louing Father and more kinde then any tender-hearted mother what kindnesse of a Brother or milde affection of a Sister can equall his loue What friend can be so glad for my prosperitie who of mine acquaintance can be so sad for my aduersitie Who can be so constant vnto me in affection Who can be so faithfull vnto me in compassion as my mercifull Sauiour My Parents gaue me my flesh polluted with sinne and defiled with vices I receiue from my Sauiour Memory Will Vnderstanding and Reason yea what is there in me which is good but it commeth from my GOD My Parents haue beene an occasion to throw me downe into hell but my Redeemer did shed his pretious bloud to bring mee into the Kingdome of heauen Therefore why doe I not sigh and lament for the death of my Lord my Sauiour my Redeemer who is my solace in time of sorrow my consolation in my misery and my refuge in the houre of my necessity But oh my most bountifull Iesu father of mercies I mourne with sorrow and lament with teares when death doth rob mee of my receiue them to dwell in thy Caelestiall Citie which is stored with all abundance But who can describe the beauty or demonstrate the glory of this heauenly Hierusalem for it is made of pure golde the foundation of pretious stones the walles of Iasper the gates of pearle In needeth no Sunne to giue light vnto it in the day or any Moone by night for the glorious presence of the Lord doth fill euery place with his shining brighssetne Reuel 21.18.19.20.21.23 What eye hath seene one sparke of the glistering cleerenesse what eare hath heard one title of the greatnesse what heart can conceiue so much as a graine of the goodnes of this eternall Citie Oh happy are the people that shall enter into thy beautifull gates Oh happy are the Citizens that shall dwell within thy pretious walles for they shall liue with the Angels in eternall peace and security and see God in his glorious Maiestie Entertaine me oh Lord into thy gratious seruice and graunt me grace that I may serue thee all the dayes of my life in feare and honour thee with my loue that when I haue serued out my time as thy faithfull seruant here on earth I may be incorporated into this heauenly Citie and admitted into the freedome of this blessed societie Come oh my Lord IESV come vnto vs quickly and receiue vs to dwell with thee eternally Amen FINIS Soli Deo gloria MOST DEVOVT and Diuine MEDITATIONS OF Saint BERNARD Concerning the knowledge of humane Condition Seruing as so many Motiues to MORTIFICATION LONDON Printed by T.S. for Francis Burton dwelling in Paules Church-yard at the signe of the greene Dragon 1614. A Table of the Motiues to MORTIFICATION Mo. 1. OF the similitude of man to God page 1. Mo. 2. Of the miserie of man and of the examination of the last iudgement page 10. Mo. 3. Of the dignity of the soule pag. 20 Mo. 4. Of the reward of the heauenly Countrey the which all Christians ought to endeauour to obtaine page 33 Mo. 5. How a man ought to examine himselfe page 44 Mo. 6. That a man ought to bee diligent and deuout in performing of Diuine exercises page 48 Mo. 7. A consideration of death page 59 Mo. 8. In what manner a man ought to pray deuoutly pag. 63 Mo. 9. Of the instabilitie and wandering of the heart page 66 Mo. 10. That Sinne is not to be excused page 74 Mo. 11. What a great euill it is not to correct or reprehend others page 75 Mo. 12. How euery man ought to consider himselfe page 83 Mo. 13. Of the presence of the Conscience euery where page 85 Mo. 14. Of the three Enemies of Man page 87. Mo. 15. From whence the flesh of Man proceedeth and what it bringeth forth page 93 Mo. 16. Of the short life of man pag. 96 Other Additions A Most zealous and deuout lamentation of blessed Anselmus sometime Arch-bishop of Canterbury for the losse of his Soules virginitie appliable vnto the soule of euery mortified Christian page 111 A Meditation of S. Bernard concerning the Passion and sufferings of Iesus Christ diuided into twenty and one Sections page 139 The Authors deprecation or Petition for himselfe page 236 FINIS O my Father if it be possible let this Cup passe from me He kneeled downe and Prayed but beinge in an agonie he prayed more earnestly and his sweat was like droppes of blood trikling downe to the ground Luke 22.44 Sit ye here whil I goe and Pray yonder Of the similitude of Man to GOD. MOTIVE I. MAny knowe many things False knowledge and know not themselues they pry into others and leaue themselues The ready way how to know God They seeke God by those outward things forsaking their inward things to vvhich God is neerer and more inward Therefore I vvill returne from outward things to inward and from the inward I will ascend to the Superiour that I may know from vvhence I come or whither I goe who I am and from whence I am that so by the knowledge of my selfe I may be the better able to attaine to the knowledge of God For by how much more I profit and goe forward in the knowledge of my selfe by so much the neerer I approach to the knowledge of God Concerning the inward man Three things in vs whereby wee remember behold and desire God I finde three things in my soule by which I remember behold and couet God But these three things are the Memory Vnderstanding Will or Loue. By the Memory I remember him by the Vnderstanding I behold him by the Will I imbrace him When I remember God in my Memory I finde him and in him I am delighted because hee vouchsafeth to giue himselfe to mee By the Vnderstanding I view and contemplate what God is in himselfe what hee is in the Angels what he is in the Saints what hee is in Men what he is in the Creatures In himselfe hee is incomprehensible because he is the beginning and end and the beginning without beginning the end without end By my selfe I vnderstand how incomprehensible God is when as I cannot know and vnderstand my selfe whom he hath made In the Angels he is desirable because they desire to behold him In the Saints hee is delectable because being happy
braue garments the Wormes shall be spread vnder thee and the Wormes shall be thy couering For the Iustice of God can iudge and determine no other thing but that which our works do deserue For hee which loueth the world more then God a place of pleasure The marks of a wicked worldling more then the House of Prayer gluttony more then abstinency letchery more then chastity followeth the Deuill and shall goe with him to euerlasting punishment What mourning do you thinke there shall be then what lamentation what sorrow and sadnesse when the wicked shal be separated from the fellowship of the righteous and from the sight of God and shall be deliuered into the power of the Deuils and shall goe with them into euerlasting fire and shall be there with them alwayes without end in perpetuall mourning and lamentation Because being banished farre from the blessed Countrey of Paradise they shall be tormented in the place of neuer-ceasing torments neuer to see the light any more neuer to obtaine any releasement or refreshing but by thousands of thousands of yeeres to be tormented in Hell neuer to be deliuered from thence where the tormentors are neuer tyred nor wearied neither hee vvhich is tormented euer dyeth For the fire there so consumeth that it alwaies preserueth The torments are so acted that they are alwaies renewed The quality of the paine shall be fitted to the quality of the offence But euery one shall endure paine of torment according to the quality of the fault and they that are guilty of the same sinne shall be sorted and ioyned to their like to be tormented No other thing shall be heard there but weeping and mourning groaning and howling lamentation and gnashing of teeth And nothing shall be seene there but Wormes and the terrible faces of the tormentors and most hidious monsters of the Diuels Cruell Wormes shall bite the innermost parts of the heart heere shall be paine there feares sighing astonishment and horrible terrour And they being miserable and wretched shall burne in euerlasting fire for euer The condition of the damned after death of the body and besides they shall be tormented in the flesh by fire in the spirit by the Worme of conscience there shall be intollerable griefe horrible feare incomparable stinke death both of soule and body without hope of pardon or mercie Neuerthelesse they shall so dye as they may alwayes liue and shall so liue as they may alwaies die The difference of a repenting and an obstinate sinner So the soule of a sinner is tormented in hell for his sinnes or being conuerted from her sinnes is placed in Paradise Now therefore let vs choose one of the two either alwaies to be tormented vvith the vvicked or to liue in ioy with the righteous For good and euill life and death are set before vs that vvee may put forth our hand to which vvee vvill If torments cannot terrifie vs at least let rewards allure vs. Of the reward of the heauenly Countrey the which all Christians ought to endeauour to obtaine MOTIVE IIII. IT is a reward to see God to liue with God to liue of God to be with GOD to be in God vvhich vvill be all things in all To haue GOD vvhich is the chiefest good where the chiefest good is there is the chiefest felicitie chiefest pleasure true libertie perfect charitie eternall securitie and secure eternitie there is true ioy full knowledge all beauty and all beatitude There is peace pietie goodnesse light vertue honesty ioyes mirth sweetnesse euerlasting life glory praise rest loue and sweet concord The exceeding ioyes of the righteous So the man shall be blessed with GOD in whose conscience sinne hath not beene found Hee shall see God at his desire he shall haue him at his pleasure hee shall enioy him to his euerlasting delight He shall flourish in eternity hee shall be glorious in truth hee shall shine in glory he shall reioyce in goodnesse so hee shall haue eternity of continuance so hee shall haue facilitie of knowledge and wisedome and felicity of rest and quietnesse For he shall be a Citizen of that Holy Citie of which the Citizens are Angels God the Father the Temple his Sonne the glorie and brightnesse the Holy Ghost the loue and charity Oh heauenly Citie A description of the celestiall Citie secure Mansion fertile and ample Countrey thou containest all which delighteth the people liue vvithout mourning the Inhabitants are quiet and peaceable persons hauing no want or necessity How glorious things are spoken of thee oh Citie of God! So that the Habitation of all vvhich reioyce is in thee All reioyce with mirth and exceeding ioy All are delighted and made ioyfull by God vvhose lookes are beautifull face faire and comely speech sweet and delectable hee is delightfull to be seene pleasant to be drunke sweet to be enioyed He pleaseth by himselfe alone he both sufficeth of himselfe for desert and also sufficeth of himselfe for reward neither is any thing sought without him because it is wholly found in him whatsoeuer is desired Iâ— God is all good It is alwaies pleasing and delightfull to behold him alwaies to be delighted in him and alwaies to enioy him In him the vnderstanding is clarified and the affection is purified to know and loue the truth And this is the sole and whole good of man namely to know and loue his Creator Therefore vvhat madnesse of vices doth moue vs to thirst after the bitter Wormewood of this World to follow the shipwracke of this sliding life To suffer calamitie to endure the Dominion of a vvicked Tirannie and not rather to flye and flocke together to the felicitie of the Saints to the societie of the Angels to the solemnitie of supernall and heauenly ioy and to the pleasantnesse of a contemplatiue life that vvee may enter into the Dominions of the LORD and see the superaboundant riches of his goodnesse There we shall be freed from toyling cares and shall see how sweet the Lord is and how great the multitude is of his exceeding sweetnesse We shall see the beautie of his glorie The happy estate of the iust in heauen the brightnesse of his Saints and honour of his Royall Maiestie We shall know the power of the Father the vvisedome of the Sonne the most liberall clemencie of the Holy Ghost and so vvee shall haue knowledge of the most high Trinitie Now vve see bodies by the bodie also we see the Images of bodies by the Spirit but then vvee shall see the Trinitie vvith the pure sight of the minde Oh happie vision to see God in himselfe to see him in vs and to see vs in him In which vision with happy pleasure and pleasant happinesse wee shall haue all whatsoeuer wee shall desire desiring nothing else besides and wee shall loue vvhatsoeuer wee shall see blessed with the loue blessed with the sweetnesse of the loue and pleasantnesse of the contemplation This shall be
It is true that my conscience doth merit damnation and that my repentance doth not suffice for satisfaction But it is certaine that thy exceeding mercie doth surpasse all my vile iniquitie Therefore good Sauiour spare that of which thou art the Saluation yea thou that desirest not the death of a sinner Spare oh spare my sinfull soule for it being vtterly dismayed flieth from thy terrifying Iustice to thy comforting mercie that because the reward of her virginitie being corrupted oh heart-wounding sorrow is vnrecouerable the punishment of hatefull Fornication to her repenting at least may not be vneuitable because it is not a thing impossible to thy omnipotencie neither vnseemely to thy Iustice nor vnaccustomable to thy mercie Both because thou art good and because thy infinite mercie endureth for euer Which art blessed vvorld without end Amen A Meditation of S. Bernard concerning the Passion of Iesus Christ Diuided into twentie and one Sections SECTION I. LEt vs vvho are true Christians graced with so noble a name so high a stile and so glorious a title honour and celebrate with true sorrowfull relenting repenting harts the Funerall Obsequies of our noble Lord Iesus of Nazareth that meeke spotlesse innocent and harmelesse Lambe who did not so much as open his mouth being vnder the hand of the Shearer malitiously accused odiously reuiled innocently and wrongfully condemned of the furious and bloody Iewes extreamely tortured spitefully disdained shamefully spetted vpon and lastly cruelly crucified by the barbarous and brutish Gentiles It is an exployt full of honour full of renowne it is most healthfull and wholsome for our sickly soules that we Christians dayned worthie of such a gracious and honourable Name should reuerently adore louingly embrace valiantly imitate the weake infirmities scornefull disgraces base pouerty painefull labours sore and sorrowfull agonies the deadly pangs of the bitter Passion of our louing Redeemer and sweet Sauiour Christ Iesus the righteous For these are the powerfull instruments and most strong weapons by which the omnipotent vertue and the infinite inuestigable and vnsearchable wisedome of God hath mightily and wonderfully effected and wrought the restauration and renouation of the decayed World the eternall Saluation of vs men yea of vs most miserable and wretched men and the endlesse and vtter destruction of Hell Death and the Diuell Heb. 2.14 Luke 1.71 And in the working of this great worke and admirable misterie of our Saluation the Lord Christ was made lesser then the Angels that he might make vs equall with the Angels hee descended from his Throne of glory that hee might deliuer vs from ignominie Heb. 2 9. Hee being Lord of Lords tooke vpon him the shape of a seruant that he might make vs honourable hee willingly dispossessed himselfe of all his Royalties that he might eternally possesse vs with the euerlasting treasure and full inheritance of his heauenly Kingdome 2 Cor. 8.9 And who is hee if hee could tast his infinite kindnesse but alas who is able to sound the bottomlesse depth of this more then meruailous yea miraculous loue but vvould willingly forsake his goodly earthly possessions leaue all his worldly honours and dignities subiect euery moment to decay and vanity as soone gone as they are gotten disroabe the stout Bride of her gay and gorgious apparell and strip her naked from all her borrowed feathers cloath himselfe vvith the sackcloath of lowly humility cut off his curled lockes and sprinkle his head with ashes that he might truly humble prostrate and debase himselfe cast downe his high lookes curbe his proud aspiring and vntamed thoughts for Christ Iesus his meeke and mercifull Sauiour vvho came downe from Heauen out of the bosome of his Father being coeternall and coequall with him in euerlasting glorie leauing the ioyfull societie of blessed Angels aboue to conuerse here below amongst cursed men nay to abide and patiently to beare the curses and bitter taunts of blasphemous and fiery-minded men SECTION II. THis Lord Christ was tyrannically tortured cruelly crucified for our yea rather for my sins and hath sweetned his bitter crosse to all that zealously loue him faithfully beleeue in him Hee died a most shamefull cruell cursed death on the Crosse that he might deliuer vs from the curse of the condemning and killing Law and taken vs out of the iawes of the deuouring Lyon redeemed vs from Hell from infernall fire and euerlasting perdition Hee shed yea powred out his most precious blood spouting out the same from all the vaines of his pierced and martyred body that with his precious and soueraigne Balme he might salue all our deadly wounds and saue our dying soules He died and by his death killed death that we might liue eternally in him and by him And who may not amazedly admire the incomparable loue of so milde so mercifull and so potent a Sauiour Who cannot at least who ought not with rauished affections to loue and like ioyfull Simeon with both armes to imbrace so magnificent but for vs sinfull men and for our sakes made so humble and lowly and yet a most powerfull Redeemer The dulcet taste of vvhose loue doth farre exceede the Hony and the Hony-combe in sweetnesse And although the least drop of it be sufficient to fill all and euery part of an hungry soule yet it hath in it such a sauourie relish and an appetite procuring quality that the more the desirous soule eateth the more it coueteth the more it feedeth the more eagerly it longeth and thirsteth after it Why should we not patiently suffer and constantly endure whatsoeuer the inueterate malice of the Diuell can imagine against vs or the furious madnesse of vvicked men his wilfull Ministers can lay or impose vpon vs for Christ Iesus his cause for the honouring of his truly and honourable name and for our constant profession of a true Christian Faith Christ passed through the ignominie shame contempt of the Crosse to supernall dignity infinite Maiestie and endlesse glory all power authority was giuen vnto him for the aduancement of his euerlasting dominion both in heauen aboue and in earth beneath by God his heauenly Father all the Angels Gods heauenly Heraulds with ioyfull humility melodious Harmony and with continuall laud and thankes-giuing doe worship and adore his incomprehensible exceeding-glorious and eternall Maiestie and at the honourable name of Iesus let euerie knee be bowed of things in Heauen aboue and things in the darkest Caues of Hell belowe Where is thy glory oh Christian Where is thy reioycing Where is thy boasting not in Nobilitie honour and riches but in the glorious name of thy crucified Lord thy eternall God and euerlasting Sauiour and in the gratious gracefull and sweet name of Christ which is a name aboue all names farre surpassing all Noble honourable and glorious earthly titles and the highest stile of vvorldly Maiestie And whosoeuer is blessed in this name shall be truly blessed here vpon earth and afterward shall be eternally happy in Heauen
Thou didst mildely suffer the temptations and illusions of the Deuill and at last with thy holy word didst put him to a shamefull foyle and forced him like a coward to flie the field Matth. 4.10.11 to make such bickerments more tollerable and easie vnto vs and to instruct vs that whensoeuer Christian warriours shall manage this double-edged sword aright that their common enemie will soone be danted take himselfe to flight and they alwayes obtain a glorious conquest SECTION VII AT length thou camest to the lost sheepe of the house of Israell lifting vp the bright lampe of thy diuine word openly to giue light to the world which was obscured with thicke clouds of sinfull darkenesse that men seeing their sinnes might then sigh for their forepassed iniquities seeke by speedy and true repentance to saue their soules Matth. 5.1.2.3.4.5.6.7 c. And thou also proclaiming the Kingdome of God to all obeying the word didst confirme the verity of thy infallible words with many wonderous and miraculous deeds thou diddest plainely declare the vertue of thy diuinitie and manifest the incomprehensible essence of thy God-head in all things to those which vvere diseased and were affected and grieuously afflicted with many infirmities Luke 5.12.18 Performing all things of thy free mercy without any merits to all nations that by thy gratious words and mercifull workes thou mightest gaine the Saluation of all truly repenting for their sins seeking by thy only mercy to saue their soules But their foolish heart oh Lord was darkened their reason infatuated their vnderstanding blinded they maliciously despised proudly contemned and carelesly reiected thy blessed words behind them neither did they Oh Lord admire no not so much as regard thy wondrous workes which by the Finger of thine owne hand thou hadst powerfully wrought among them except a few Noble Champions which thou diddest chuse among the weake and abiect things of the World that by them thou mightst batter downe strong holds throw downe high Towers that thy inuincible power might appeare in their weaknes so the glory of thy Maiestie might shine the brighter Neither vvere they onely vnthankefull to thee for thy gracious benefits and great kindnesse but they did very spightfully reproach thee oh Lord of Lords and spit out the Gall of their malice against thee plotting in their Diuellish mindes and performing with their desperate hands whatsoeuer their vnbridled lust did command them For thou doing the workes of God which no other hath done how malignant were their words How malicious were their speeches For they sayd in their mad mood and furious folly This man is not of God he casteth out Deuils by the Prince of Deuils he hath the Deuill hee seduceth the people hee is a Glutton and a Drinker of Wine a Friend of Publicanes and sinners Matth. 11.9 Why dost thou weepe oh man why are thy thoughts perplexed and the peace of thy minde disturbed when thou doest feele the sting of venemous tongues or endure the stormy tempest of iniurious words Doest thou not heare what monstrous slanders bitter taunts and opprobrious speeches vvere belched out against the Lord thy God onely for thy cause and thy sinnes yet he did patiently disgest the extreame bitternesse of their cruell malice and did alwayes seeke by gentle mildenesse and workes of mercy to mollifie their hard hearts and to induce them to true repentance If they haue called the Master of the house Belzebub how much more will they call them of his household Mat. 10.25 Luke 11.15 But thou oh righteous and innocent Iesus diddest patiently heare and constantly sustaine their blasphemous words spightfull derisions and taunting speeches although oftentimes they were carried with such a violent streame of raging fury against thee that they assailed thee vvith stones hating nothing so much as thy blessed life and hastning nothing so much as thy cursed death And thou becamest before them as a man vvhich heareth not all and as one that is dumbe hauing no word of reproofe in thy mouth SECTION VIII LAstly they valued thy righteous and precious bloud but at thirtie peeces of siluer betrayed vnto them by thy vnkinde Disciple the sonne of Perdition greedily desiring with extreame hate vvithout any shadow of iust cause to hasten thy cruell death It was not a strange thing or a concealed secret excluded from the search of thy knowledge because the most couert cogitations of euery heart are open vnto thee that one of thine owne Disciples should proue disloyall treacherously conspire against thee and like a Traytour sell thee his gratious Lord kind Master for a small piece of money When as at the Supper where thou didst wash thy Disciples feet thou didst not disdaine to handle wash and wipe with thy most holy hands the cursed feet of that damned Traytor swift to shedde bloud kneeling downe before him Iohn 13.4.5 Oh wonderfull example of humilitie oh patience most worthy of continuall admiration But why dost thou walke with thy out-stretched necke oh earth and ashes Doth Pride still lift thee vp Doth fretting anger euermore molest thee Behold and looke vpon the Lord Iesus the mirror of Humilitie and Meekenesse the Creator of euery Creature the fearefull Iudge of the quicke and the dead bowing his knees before the feet of a man that should traiterously betray him into the hands of his deadly Foes who long thirsted for his innocent bloud loathed his godly life and could neuer quench the raging flame of their furie vntill they had acted the lamentable Tragedy of his most cruell death Learne therefore of him because he is meeke in minde and lowly in heart debase thy high and loftie lookes and let the feeling sence of thy scornfull Pride confound and cast downe thy haughty thoughts and blush at thy furious madnesse and sigh at the inward sight of thy impatient folly This also oh louing Lord was a plaine argument of thy meruailous kindnesse and extraordinary fauour that thou wouldest not publikely detect the mischieuous malice and openly disclose the horrible Treason of thy gracelesse Disciple and odious Traitor but diddest onely in the assembly of his brethren very slightly admonish him to hasten his intented purpose Iohn 13.27 Neuerthelesse neither the sweet streames of thy mercy could quench the burning fire of his fury nor the graces of thy Humility stay the rage of his madnesse but he departing out of the house laboured diligently to bring his wicked designement into act which as yet lay couered in his treacherous heart Iohn 13.30 SECTION IX HOW didst thou fall from Heauen oh cleere-shining Lucifer which didst appeare so bright at thy rising in the morning Thou once wert beautifull with exceeding glory placed in pleasant Paradise where all things were abounding which might breed delight whose happy state did stand still at a stay subiect to no contrary change hauing the Citizens of Heauen for thy louing companions pure Manna of the Diuine Word for thy daily food How art thou now tumbled
with an honourable triumph hath entred the heauens And behold he being crowned with glory and honour sitteth at the right hand of thy Maiestie who being our Aduocate maketh continuall intercession for vs that we being the children of wrath and disobedience by Nature may bee reconciled vnto thee for euer by the exceeding riches of thy grace For hee is flesh he is our brother Looke oh Lord vpon the amiable face of thy sweet Christ which became obedient vnto thee euen vnto death that thou being well pleased in beholding him mayest send downe the comfortable dewe of thy mercy vpon vs neither let his scarres depart for euer out of thy sight that thou mayest remember what a great satisfaction thou hast receiued of him for our sinnes I wish it might please thee to ballance the sinnes wherewith vvee haue deserued thy wrath and indignation together with the calamitie and sorrow which thy innocent Sonne hath suffered for vs. Certainely the waight of his heauy miserie vvill more then counterpoyse the waight of all our iniquities and it hath rather deserued that thou shouldest raine downe the sweet shewers of thy mercy vpon vs then that our sinnes haue demerited to kindle the fire of thy deuouring vvrath against vs that wee should vtterly be depriued of thy wonted clemency which should slake the fury of thine incensed ire and put out the flame of thy burning indignation But oh gratious and mercifull Father let euery tongue proclaime immortall thankes vnto thee and sound forth aloud thine eternall praises for the exceeding largenesse of thine immeasurable bounty vvhich hast not spared thine onely Sonne which was as deere and neere as thine owne heart vnto thee but hast deliuered him vp vnto death for vs all that we might haue him as a faithfull Aduocate and louing Mediatour before thee in Heauen And to thee oh Lord Iesus a most couragious and constant Louer and my gratious Redeemer what thankes be they neuer so many can I returne or what praises be they neuer so great may I vtter which might counteruaile the least iot of thy vvorthy merit when as I am but a base creature made of dust and shaped out of the clay whose breath is in my Nosthrils and I subiect euery moment to forgoe it although I commonly forget it and to returne againe into the wombe of the Earth from vvhence I vvas taken SECTION XIX FOR what oh sweet Sauiour shouldest thou haue done which thou hast not vvillingly done to finish the great worke of my saluation Thou hast diued and cast thy selfe ouer head and eares into the troublesome Ocean of thy stormy Passions that thou mightest draw mee wholly out aliue from those perillous Waters when the waues haue entered euen into thy Soule For thou diddest willingly subiect thy selfe to the paines of Death that thou mightest restore my soule vnto mee which I had so wilfully lost Luke 1.71 And now behold I am obliged vnto thee by a double debt because thou hast twise giuen mee my soule once by Creation and once by Redemption what haue I that I may more iustly giue thee then my soule But for thy precious soule vexed perplexed and troubled vvith so many and such heauy tribulations I finde not what recompence man can bee able to render vnto thee in any sort to gratifie the worthinesse of thy desert For if I should be able to giue thee Heauen and Earth and all their beautifull furniture and the glorious ornaments of them I could in no wise attaine the measure or discharge the infinite sum of such an euerlasting debt But that I may render both that which I owe and also that which is possible for mee is a matter wholly belonging to thy liberall bountie and must onely flowe from the sweet fountaine of thy beneficiall goodnesse Thou art to be loued oh Lord with all my heart vvith all my strength I must tread in thy path and follow thy steps vvhich hast endured all the extreamities of thy bitter Passions with exceeding patience and being Lord of life hast of thine owne accord vouchsafed to yeeld thy selfe vnto death to redeeme mee and all faithfull repentant sinners to the ioyes of eternall life And how shall that thing bee effected and wrought to mee but onely and wholy by thee through thy mightie power which is able to worke all things in Heauen aboue and in the Earth beneath Let my Soule cleaue vnto thee let it be vnited vnto thee with the bond of euerlasting loue because all the vertue and faculties of it depend onely vpon thee and because it must needs sinke into a bottomlesse pit of endles misery if it bee but a moment debarred from thy louing mercy And now oh Lord my gracious Redeemer I worship thee as true God I trust in thee I hope in thee I couet long to approach so neere vnto thee as the feeble wings of my mounting desires will carry me Let thy strong hand support my weakenesse Let the rich treasure of thy mercy supply the wants of mine infirmity Let the greatnesse of thine vnsearchable goodnesse neuer depart out of my remembrance Let a memoriall of thy bitter passion by which thou hast wrought mine euerlasting Saluation be perfectly written vvithin the palmes of my hands so that mine eyes may still be viewing it and let it be deepely ingrauen in my heart that mine inward thoughts and cogitations may euermore be meditating and musing vpon it Let thy Crowne of Thornes thy redde bloudy nailes thy pierced side thy grieuous vvounds thy precious bloud thy death and buriall bee euermore presented before the eyes of mine vnderstanding that I may vvater my Couch and make my bedde to swimme vvith teares of true sorrowfull repentance that I may duely and truely bewaile the multitude of my haynous sinnes vvhich haue beene like so many Iron-nayles to enter through thy harmelesse hands and innocent feete and like so many sharpe Speares to pierce thy blessed side to make thy wounded heart send forth plentifull streams of thy deere and precious bloud Lastly let the fresh remembrance of thy most glorious and victorious Resurrection and the blessed memory of thy triumphant Ascention comfort the fainting Spirits of my drooping soule with a sweet taste of ioy mittigate the sorrowes of my perplexed minde For in all these the sweet odour of life doth ascend vp into my nosthrils Raise thou oh Lord my spirit with their reuiuing odour from the death of sinne and out of the Graue of perpetuall darkenesse Touch my heart oh Christ that I may touch thee yea although it bee but the hemme of thy Garment that Vertue may come out of thee Matth. 14.32 Marke 6.56 Which may keepe me from the snares of Sathan and comfort me in the houre of tribulation so that the yoake of thy commaundements may be made easie vnto mee and the burthen of the Crosse which thou commandest mee to carry after thee may be light to my soule What am I a silly worme What is
so separate the vnderstanding from the loue of the world nothing doth so fortifie the minde against temptations The profitable fruits of deuout meditation nothing doth so stirre vp man and further him to euery good worke and labour as the Grace and benefit of diuine meditation and heauenly contemplation In what manner a man ought to pray deuoutly MOTIVE VIII HAue mercy vpon mee oh God because I offend there most where I ought to amend my sinnes For while I pray often in the place of prayer I doe not marke what I say I pray truly with the mouth but my minde wandering abroad I am depriued of the fruit of prayer With my body I am within but with my heart I am without And therefore I loose that I say For it profiteth little to sing or pray with the voyce onely without the deuotion of the hart Therefore it is great foolishnesse yea rather great madnesse vvhen wee doe presume to speake with the Lord of Maiestie in prayer It is presumption to pray without hearty and true deuotion and being without vnderstanding doe turne our minde from him and turne our heart I know not to what fooleries and toyes It is also great madnesse and grieuously to be punished when most vile and base dust doth disdaine to heare the Creatour of the whole world speaking to it But it is an vnspeakeable grace of the Diuine goodnesse which doth daily behold vs vnhappy vvretches turning away our eares hardning our hearts and neuerthelesse cryeth out to vs saying Returne yee Transgressors vvith your heart attend and see because I am God God speaketh to me in a Psalme neither yet when I say a Psalme doe I consider whose Psalme it is Wherefore I doe great iniurie to God when I pray to him to heare my prayer which I doe not heare my selfe who doe vtter the same I intreat him that he attend to mee The prayer of the wicked is turned into abhomination but I neither attend to my selfe nor to him but that which is farre worse by thinking filthy and vnprofitable things within my heart I bring an horrible stinke before his sight Of the instabilitie and wandering of the heart MOTIVE IX The heart of man is tossed to and fro in the stream of euill cogitations NOthing is more vnconstant instable and fugitiue in mee then my heart the which so often as it leaueth me floweth and fleeteth away by euill cogitations so often it offendeth God My heart great heart wandering vnstable while it is led by his owne will cannot remaine constant in it selfe but being more moueable then any moueable thing is distracted and drawne through infinite things and runneth vp downe hither and thither through innumerable matters And vvhile it seeketh rest and content by diuers things it cannot finde the same but continueth in the labour and turmoyle of miserie voyd of rest and contentment and seeketh here and there where it may rest and findeth nothing which may suffice it vntill it doth returne to him backe againe who gaue it It is ledde from cogitation to cogitation and it is altered and changed by diuers imployments and affections that at least it may be filled with varietie and change of those things with whose qualitie it cannot any way possibly be satisfied So the heart is troubled with it's owne illusions and fantasies The heart reuolting from God can finde no rest vntill it returne to God All that we haue is Gods owne yet hee saith giue mee thy heart the Diuine grace being remoued and substracted And when it is returned to it selfe and discusseth and examineth that vvhich it thought it findeth nothing because it was not a worke but an vnsauoury and vnseasonable thought which compoundeth and frameth many things of little or nothing at all And lastly imagination deceiueth it which the illusion of the Deuill formeth and shapeth God commaundeth me that I giue him my heart and because I am not obedient and subiect to God commanding I am rebellious and contrary to my selfe Whereby I cannot be brought in subiection to my selfe vntill I shall be subiect to him and serue my selfe with an euill will which would not serue him with a good will Therefore my heart plotteth endeauoureth and goeth about more things in one moment then all men are able to performe in a yeere I am not vnited with God and therefore I am diuided in my selfe I cannot be truly vnited with him but by loue neither be subiect to him but by humility neither can I be truly humble but by truth It is expedient therefore that I examine my selfe in Truth and know how vile how fraile how vnconstant and slipperie I am Afterwards when I shal know all my wants and miseries it is needfull that I cleaue vnto him by whom I am and without whom I am nothing and can doe nothing and because I haue departed from the Lord by sinning I cannot returne vnto him but by true confession Therefore I must now confesse in truth and sinceritie because I haue neuer confessed my sinnes in that measure and manner in which I haue sinned neither haue I remembred all eyther because of the antiquitie or multitude of them But if I haue confessed them I haue not sincerely confessed them but haue flattered the flesh in my confession and haue dealt falsely in casting vp the sum of my great and grieuous transgressions And it is a cursed dissimulation to make but a slight and counterfeit confession of our rebellions towards GOD and of our injurious and vncharitable actions towards men and onely to pare the outside of sinne away and as it were to wash our hands with a little water not to pluck vp sinne by the rootes that it may neuer afterwards grow vp in our hearts Our Confession must bee true and sincere For confession is not profitable but in the Truth and puritie of the heart that there may be three which may beare vs witnesse in Heauen The Father and the Sonne and the holy Ghost And as men haue beene beholders of our manifolde transgressions so let vs make them witnesses of our humble repentance and hartie contrition And although we must and ought to acknowledge GOD alone to bee All-sufficient to graunt vs free pardon and absolution yet wee should not refuse to shew forth manifest testimonies to men of our true and sincere Humiliation To vvhich the Apostle Saint Iames doth counsell and perswade vs saying Confesse your sinnes one to another For it is very conuenient that vvee vvhich haue beene stubborne and rebellious by sinning against GOD should be humble also towards men whom vve haue offended eyther by the euill example of our wicked life or else by our wrongfull dealing and false deeds For it is most healthfull to the soule that a man repent in heart and acknowledge his fault with his mouth so that God which is present in Mercy and Grace may pricke his heart by compunction and bitter repentance
and afterward may bee also present and ready to giue him full pardon of his sinnes But if a sinner doe truely repent and yet by some accidentall necessitie bee preuented that he cannot make any acknowledgement to such men as he hath offended we must confidently beleeue that whatsoeuer is defectiue in him concerning such acknowledgement is fulfilled by Christ who hath made a full satisfaction For GOD accepteth that as done which a man hath beene willing although not able to performe That Sinne is not to be excused MOTIVE X. IN the account of my sinnes where I should haue amended I haue augmented my sinnes and added sinnes to sinnes When I haue beene accused of them I haue eyther by some meanes excused them An vnrelenting sinner will either cunningly excuse or flatly deny his sinne or wholy denied them or that which is worst I haue maintained and defended them and haue answered impatiently when indeed there is no sinne with which I am not or may not be polluted It is iust therefore all occasion being remooued that I promise amendment howsoeuer or of whatsoeuer I am accused to the end that I may be deliuered from sinne committed or to be committed What a great euill it is not to correct or reprehend others MOTIVE XI I Greatly dreading the multitude of my owne iniquities haue beene afrayd to reprehend the transgressions of others By silence we make our selues guiltie of other mens sinnes when wee ought to admonish or correct them and therfore haue beene the Author of death because I haue not expelled the poyson which I might haue purged by crying out vnto them I haue stormed against others and haue beene incensed with furie when they haue reprehended me for my vices and I haue hated them whom I ought to haue loued I desired that those things might not be which did hurt or displease me Neuerthelesse I did know that in their owne Nature they vvere good and made of a good Maker and therefore they did hurt mee because I was euill and did vse them euilly For nothing is contrary or hurtfull to my selfe Good things are made euill by abuse but I my selfe For that is with mee and in mee vvhatsoeuer is able to hurt mee and I my selfe am a burthen to my selfe I wished also that God might not know my sinnes or that hee would not or could not punish them and so I would haue God to be foolish vniust and impotent Which if hee were hee were not a God There is no Pride aboue my Pride therefore the words of my transgressions are farre from my saluation Pride and God cannot dwell together For Pride is suspected and hatefull to GOD neither can it be that it may returne into fauour vvith him They lodge in diuers Innes neither doe they dwell together in one and the same minde vvhich might not dwell together in HEAVEN Shee was borne in Heauen but being as it were vnmindefull by what way shee fell from thence shee hath not beene able to returne thither afterward When as the Ayre hath beene at sometime troubled with Raine or else with too much colde or heat I murmured wickedly against God For all things which we receiued for the vse of life wee reuert or rather peruert to the vse of wickednesse Wherefore it is iust that vvee which haue sinned in all things be smitten and wounded in all things Oftentime in singing diuine Psalmes God more respecteth a true mourning heart then a sweet melodious voyce I was more delighted with the tune of my voyce then in the compunction of my heart But God to whom nothing is hidden vvhich is wickedly committed doeth not so much require the sweetnesse of the voyce as the purity of the heart For while the Singer doth tickle delight the people with melodious voyces he mooueth God to wrath with his euill conditions I haue oftentimes extorted of my Gouernours and Rulers license to speake or to doe something by ouermu h importunitie or by crafty subtilty not considering miserable wretch that hee couseneth and deceiueth himselfe vvhich laboureth priuily or secretly that the Magistrate or Minister may enioyne him that vvhich may best sort and most please his corrupt desire I haue often coueted and desired a Needle or a Knife or some base thing and I haue not beene touched with any sense of sorrow for my couetous desire because I did not esteeme it a sinne by reason of the basenesse of the matter Concupiscence is not to be iudged by the estimation of the thing but by the corruption of the desire But there is no great difference what substance so euer be desired base or precious if the affection be equally corrupted For the Knife is not in fault but the couetous desire of the Knife is to be condemned Neither is Gold in fault but the greedie desire of Gold is vitious and sinfull In my labour I haue not laboured so much as I should or so much as I could In silence also I haue beene idle which is a most great sinne For in silence no man ought to be so idle that in the same leasure he thinketh not on the profit of his Neighbour nor so busied that he require not the Meditation and contemplation of God For hee doth not profit himselfe much which doeth not profit another when he may I haue boasted my selfe of my Vices thinking that to be a signe of Vertue which was a criminall Trespasse Of Vertues also I haue made Vices For Iustice while it exceedeth due mediocritie and measure ingendreth the Vice of all bad and hatefull cruelty and too much pittie bringeth forth the dissolution and ouerthrow of discipline and necessarie correction so oftentimes that is vice which is supposed to be vertue Vices are taken or rather mistaken for vertues So carelesse remisnesse is supposed to be gentle mildnesse and the vice of sloathfulnesse doth imitate the vertue of quietnesse I fained my selfe to be that vvhich I was not or that I would not do that which I would said one thing vvith my mouth and willed another thing in my heart and so vnder the skin of a Sheepe I shrowded the conscience indeede of a subtill Foxe * Notes of a deceitfull Conscience For indeede a luke-warme conuersation and a more naturall and corrupt cogitation ioyned vvith a fained confession a short compunction obedience vvithout deuotion prayer vvithout earnest intention reading vvithout edifying speech without carefull circumspection are properties of a Fox-like and crafty conscience Oh how hard are these things to mee which I speake because I smite wound my selfe by speaking them notwithstanding because I doe not denie my selfe to be a sinner but doe acknowledge my sinne peraduenture the acknowledgement of my faults shall be the obtaining of my pardon with GOD a mercifull and pittifull Iudge The confession of sinnes is a ready way to obtaine remission Therefore I will declare my miserie if peraduenture his kindnesse and pittie may