mind in which I languish are much more grieuous then those of the body For these make vs but vngratful to men but the other make vs displeasing in thine eyes But thy goodnes as it is seene in this example together with the cure of the one did also vse to grant pardon for the other For thou didst say to him Thy sins are foâ—giuen thee by wâ—ich he became cured in body and soul. This thy mercy I remember with great ioy and comfort and falling down at thy feet my Lord I beg of thee that thou wilt be merciful to me a sinner for thy own sake and say vnto my soul Thy sinnes are forgiuen tâ—ee and grant that I may now begin to liue to thee that so by thy grace al impediments may be remoued which hinder me from louing thee as thou wouldst be loued by me whicâ— is al I wish or desire To this end I fly to thee to this end I sigh after thee only wishing and desiirng that in al things thy holy wil may be perfectlyâ— accomplished in me for time and eternity If I should not howrly approach to thee who art the only true light darknes and the shadow of death would ouerwhelm me and make me vncapable of this thy light which leadeth to the true loue of thee O how happy were I if I could truly say Anima mea in manibus meis semper My soul in my hands always that so my soul might truly hear and follow what my Lord speaketh to my hart For thy words ate works O giue me a true contempt of myâ—sef that I may dy to al that the world esteemeth or desireth For I find where I seek my self there I am caught as it were in a snare and where I forâ—ake my self there I become more and more capable of that true liberty of spirit which carrieth the soul aboue it self and al created things that iâ— may more perfectly be vnited to thee For this is thy wil that by true Abnegation in al things both external and internal and by a total subiection to thee both as concerning our selues and al others in any thing that can be wished by vs we should enioy a certain diuine heauenly peace amidst the crosses passiôs contradictions andmutabilities which are incident to our life in this warfare of ours For the more sound a soul is in the practise of this doctrin of thine of denying herself in al and following thee by proposing no other end to her self in any thing but thy self alone the more she getteth as I may say her soul into her hands and the lesse she is moued in al things that happen either without her or within her For she seeth and knoweth that such haue euer been thy practise and permissions about crosses and difficulties falling vpon souls which was and is with and for this intention of thine that they of necessity must suffer and therby become disposed and in some sort worthy for to enter into thy Kingdom Neither doth the soul that attendeth to thee wonder at crosse accidents nor at the wayes or meanes by which they fal vpon her but in al of them she confideth in thee that they shal al turn to her greatest good And as for the faults which she comitteth she humbleth herself hoping stil more and more in thy merciâ—ful forgiuenes and assistance It is not strange to her to see so many and different opinions of al men concerning the vse of matters and things that of themselues are indifferent but remembring that as S. Paul saith Euery man aboundeth in his own sense she adhereth to thee who art stil the same and hath relation to thee in al she doth or omitteth By which meanes thou teachest her seeking simply thine honour in al things where when in what maner and of whom she shal ask in doubtful cases For it is al one to her O my God If thou require it to be resolued by another or by thyâ—self But indeed in the way of Abnegation questions are rare and to go forth questioning without thy sending is but a meere immortification and doth intangle the soul and bring her into inconueniences incomprehensible and for such doing when we so do we cannot passe without a bitter check for it in our intâ—rior by thy diuine Maiesty as thou knowst my good Lord my soul hath experienced For those souls that thou leadest by the way of loue of them I say thou exactest that they should make their moane only to thee thou hauing as it were giuen them a pledge that thou wilt become al in al and aboue al to them if they wil but remain faithâ—ul to thee Also they so litle desire or esteem any graces comforts or fauours which can be granted or bestowed vpon them but only so far as they are meerly necessary to maintain them in grace and fauour in thee and only as they are thought fit for them by thee whom they deâ—ire to be gratful to for al thy benefits that they neuer desire them but wish rather to adhere to thee by pure faith that they may become therby the more deare and pleasing to thee For a as my Lord God what is al thou canst giue to a louing soul who sigheth and panteth after thee alone and esteemeth al things as dung that she may gain thee What is al I say whilst thou giuest not thy-fâ—lf who art that one thing which is only necessary and which alone can satisfy our souls Was it any comfort to St Mary Magdalen when she sought theâ— to find two Angels which presented themselues insteed of tbee verily I cannot think it was any ioy vnto her For that soul that hath set her whole loue and desire on thee can neuer find any true satisfaction but only in thee Yea comforts granted by thee make the soul become affraid least thâ—t by them she should the less â—a thfully serue thee and so far as it may stand with thy wil considering my extraordinary frailty I had rather serue thee without consolation then to find or feel that which may make me esteeme any thing of my self or hinder me from resting only in thee who arâ— my God and al my desire for euer Amen THE XXXVII CONFESSION THis day my Lâ—rd it is read in the Gospel of our Office that thou didst send thy seruants into the lanes for the poor lame blind and deformed to coÌ„pel them to enâ—ter and tast of thy supper the which thy Mercy did so particularly extend it self to me that with great ioy and comfort I heare it read and with exceeding desire of gratitude I recount it heer in the sight of thy diuine Maiesty For first who could be more deformed in body and soul then I and yet thou didst not despise me and Secondly who could haue less desir to enter into holy Religion which is the place where we may most aboundantly tast and see how sweet our Lord is then my frozen and stupid soul
sake as also thine owne who art Blessed for euer Amen THE XXVIII CONFESSION INCINA cor meum Deus in testimonia tua Ecce concupui mandata tua in aequitate tua viuifica me-Incline my God my hart to thy testimonies and in thy truth quicken my soul. For behold my soul doth exceedingly couet to performe thy law For thy law is truth and the effect thereof is Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost When I remember how I haue strayed from thee by sin I become ashamed before thâ—e But when I consider thy Mercy I hope stil notwithstanding what is past to become through thy grace which so sweetly preuented me pleasing to thy Diuine Maiesty O Lord inlighten my soul obscuredâ— by sin and ill customes inlighten it that I may walk the way of Iustice and Truth which is the way wherof thou speakest by Esaie the Prophet in which a foole cannot err as he affirmethâ— O let me by true Humility become a fool according to his meaning let me become as a bittle child that I may be capable of entring into the Kingdom of Heauen Certeinly we ought to liue so subiect to thee that we haue no election of any thing as pretending our selues for time or eternity And also we ought to haue in our soul such a relation to thee that in thy ligâ—t in thy truth and wholy according to thy will we perform all we do and out of that respect omit what we omit O my God let me I say walk this way of Loue which knoweth not how to seck it-self in any tâ—ing whatsoeuer Let this Loue wholy posses my soul and hart which I beseech thee may liue and moue only in and out of a pure and sincere loue to thee who aboue all ought to be loued and desired Let this fire which thou camst into this world to send and willedst it should burn consume me wholy into it self that forgetful of my self and al created things I may be mindfull of thee my Lord and my God It is thy pâ—omise that where sin â—ath abounded graâ—e shall superbound that the riches of thy Merâ—y may appear and shew it-self to the Glory of thy holy Name which Mercy I beseech thee extend itself â—o me that I may praise thee for euer and euer O that thy pure loue were â—o grounded and established in my hart that I might sigh and pant â—ithout ceasing after thee and be â—ble in the strength of this thy Loue â—o live without alâ— comfort and conâ—olation human or diuine therby â—o become the more conformable to â—hee the beloued of my soul O how â—appy are they that truly loue tâ—ee â—ertainly whatsoeuer they suffer it â—â— very tolerable to them beâ—aus he or whose loue they suffer is thâ—ir helâ—er Indeed my Lord thou art a hiden God but yet not so hidden from â—ur soul but that in some sort we â—aue therin according to our poor â—apacities not only a tast but also sight of thee for as euen thou thy self hast said Blessed are the cleane of hart for they shall see God O sight to be wished desired and longed forâ— becaus once to haue seen thee is to haue learnt al things Nothing can bring vs to this sight but loue But what loue must it be Not a sensible loue only a childish loue a loue which seeketh it-self more then the beloued No but it must bâ— an ardent loue a pure loue a couradgious loue a loue of Charity anâ— humble loue and a constant loue not worn out with labours noâ— daunted with any difficulties O Lord giue this loue vnto my soul that â— may neuer more liue nor breath buâ— out of a most pure loue of thee my All and only Good let me loue thee foâ— thy self and nothing els but in anâ— for thee Let me loue nothing in steeâ— of thee For to giue al for loue is â—â— most sweet bargain for Loue is as stronâ— as death O that this thy loue might floâ— in such aboundance into the harâ— of al capable therof that the sonâ— of thy loue and Praise might contiâ—nually be heard through out al the earth O what do we do louing vanity and seeking a lye What do â—â—e abusing the most noble capacity of our souls by desiring that which passeth away like smoak What do â—â—e louing that which is more changeable then the Moon Can any â—hing satiate our harts but our God Can we find true repose out of him â—s any thing worthy of our loue but â—hat Goodnes which is loue it-self and â—hom the more we loue the more we â—re able to loue becaus for loue he made vs capable of loue But alas my God my soul was in honour â—nd I knew not it I was compared â—o beasts and by sin became like to â—hem or worse then they Is this my equital for al thy loue Is this exâ—usable that my soul made by theeâ—o â—o be delighted with the food of â—ngels which is loue should delight â—â—-self with the bread of swine O is â—y hart able to rehears this before â—â—ee and not through excessiue grief â—reak in sunder Could I in my nature not abide to be diâ—loyall to one whom I found to be a faithful friend to me and can I endure to remember my disloyalty to my God Could I with ioy vndergo for my friend disgrace and difficulty and can I endure nothing for my God Was the absence of a deare friend intolerable to me and can I abide to see my self cease at any time to sigh and long after my God O no my God let that be far from me I heere renounce before heauen and earth al inordinate affections to creâ—tures Place with thy own hands tâ—â— loue in their roomâ— that it expelling thence al â—hat now is therein dâ—â—pleasing to tâ—ine eyes thou maâ—â— thy selâ— wholy posses me giuing and distributing my affections and disposing the passions of my haâ—â— according to thy sweet will which only is iust only holy and true iâ— it-self C how sinceare then are oâ— affections when we loue our neigâ—â—bour only in and for thee Theâ—â— we pitty not one and are hard harted to another according to the inclination of our peruerse nature but behold thee in al and consequently willingly serue and assist al for thy loue then we do not shew our seues meek only to our friends but also to those by whom we suffer most contradiction and gladly vpon all occasions extend our charity For there is no true friendship but that which is founded vpon thee and which is maintained without impediment to thy loue This is only the loue of Charity which Charity knoweth not how to repine to be angry to be exceptious to be inconstant to be troublesom to be suspicious or iealous for it regardeth thee in al and desireth thee aboue al It taketh al in good part it wondreth not to see men exceed in words finding it-self so often to offend in
euer Amen THE XXXII CONFESSION MAy I aske thy Maiesty this question being not worthy so much as to name or think vpon thee May I I say aske thee how it is possible that thou canst find in thy hart thus to heap benefits vpon the most vnworthy vngreatful and contemptible of al thy creatures Is there any sin that I haue not comitted at least by my wil Yea verily so great and numberles do my â—ins and imperfections appeare to me that I neuer read or heard of any whose sinnes for one reason or other could be compared to mine Shal not therefor my soul praise my God Can any wonder to see me in al occasions fly to thee and speak to thee whâ— hast without any the least desert on my part thus sweetly with thy Grace prâ—uented me and not only auerted my wil from al that displeaseth thee but also drawn me so forcible to desire only thee that my soul euen loatheth al that may any way hinder it from truly adhering to thee and such an inclination hath my wil continually towards thâ—e that it cannot endure to rest in any thing but thee alone I would haue thee alone I desir to loue and seeke thee esteeming al gifts and graces so much and no more as they may and do enable me to rest only in theâ— which grant I may euer do for thy owne sake who art Godnes it self and who be euer blessed Amen THE XXXIII CONFESSION O Thou who despisest not any in greif and misery flying to thee hear and help me in that which is sustained by me to whom should I fly but to thee If I had or desired to haue any friends besids thee thou mightst bid me go vnto them and speak to them to help me But as it is al hauing forsaken me and I al for thâ—e behold I come vnto thee not as one who thinketh herself any way to deserue to be beheld or heard of thee but as one who hath no other refuge besids thee Thy mercy which infinity surpasses my sinns inuiteth me howrly to come confidently to thee These therefor are thy words with which thou art most willing to be challenged by thy poor seruants who by reason of their great frailty and weaknes may alleadg them in their necessities and want of help in whicâ— they are to thee I say who speakeâ—â— them for our help and comfort Noâ— vos relinquam orphaâ—os Petite acâ—pietis vt gaudium vestrum sit plenuâ— Paraclitus docebit vos omnia Si quis â—iâ—ligit me sermonem meum seruabit â—atâ—r meus diliget eum ad cum vâ—niemus mansionem apud eum facâ—mus I wil not leaue you orphans Aâ— and you shal receiue that your joy may â—ful The Holy Ghost wil teach you â— things If any loue me he wil keep mâ— word and my Father wil loue him and â— wil come to him and wil make our mansion with him If thou wilt be our Father what cause haue we to complain though we be despised and forsaken yea and traoden down by the whole world But as for me I shal neuer be weary of saying it is good to adhere to my Lord God This I wil ask this I wil beg euen for thy own Jake that thou wilt be my helper defender and refuge in al my necessities and do not for euer â—orsak her who is so poor and frail of her-sef that she hath nothing of her own doing or suffering wherein she can glory or confide If thou wilt not forsake me I shal be saâ—e If thou leaue me to my-self nothing can I expect but vtterly to perish Let me obserue al thou exacteth of me out of pure and sincere loue neither desiring no nor so much as reflecting vpon other reward then that I may be so happy as in al things to be conformable to thy holy wil. It is a sufficient comfort euen of it-self to be tyed and bound to thee by the obligation of vows and to serue thee for loue and to endeauourin al to be so subiect to thee as if it were not in our power to wil or desire any thing whatsoeuer In this lyeth hidden a most sweet and peaceable life euen amidst the various changes and alterations which this our banishment daily experienceth which is truly tearmed a warfare in which sometimes we ouercome by thy assisting grace and sometimes we are vaÌ„quished by our enemies the worldâ— the flesh and the diuel the which giues vs occasion to acknowledg iustly before thee daily our exceeding great frailty But this in my daily combats is my comforâ— that my Lord and loue my only beloued and most dearly desired Lord my God aâ—ter whom I thirst and languish seeth and beholdeth me and is neeâ— to be called vpon in this my necessity For as he loueth those that fight with great couradg and strength so he despiseth not his litle children to whom gnats and flyes seeme so great enemies for so I may tearm my litle sufferings if I compare them to those of his strong and faihful seruants which without changing their countenance they most couradgiously endure yea euen before my face that we weep and hide our faces in his boosom to auoid the biting and stinging of so smal aduersities This my God is my case help and assist me that I may be daily more strengthened and confirmed in thee that at last I may be that in al things thou wouldst haue me â—o be Amen THE XXXIV CONFESSION BEatus homo quem tu erudieris Domine de lege tua docueris eum Nisi quia Dominus adiuuit me paulo minus habitasset in inferno anima mea Blessed is the man whom thou shalt teach O Lord and shalt instruct him in thy law Vnles God had helped me within very little my soul had dwelt in hel This is my solace in sorrows and my refreshment in labours to cal vpon my God and to write vnto him so that when my soul groweth more heauy and dul I may in that case read in my own writingâ— as in a book the mercies of my Lord shewed vnto me therby to raise vp my soul to a sweeter remembrance of him whom my hart desire thin al and aboue al to loue and enioy We may I confes being taught this my lesson by thee that if thou hadst not most powerfully holpen and deliuered me my soul had dwelt in helâ— where it might most iustly haue noâ— been if thy meere Mercy had not hetherto deliuered me which continue to do my Lord I most humbly beseech thee For as it is said in the Psalme vnles thou O Lord keep my soul in vain is my labour in defending it Who therfor can blame me flying vnto thee or for hauing in al things relation to my God my mercy so that if I at any time grow slack in flying to him or in calling vpon hiâ— in my doubts and miseries this which I now write lying by me and often being
giuen to those who for thy sake requite euil with good then the true peace which they find in their souls by it it were most worthy our labour But thou my Lord reseruest great reward in the next life for those who for bitternes caused to them by others do return sweetnes vnto â—hem yea nothing is more pleasing and acceptable to thee then that we by humility and patience do pacify those who are offended with vs. But alas my God I wil speak and wil not be silent in the eares of my Lord and with teares in mine eyes wil bewail my sins and offences I â—now there is no more true loue in our souls to our neighbours then we are dead to our selues and liue vnto thee What therefor can I think of my poor soul so barrein of al true vertue If I loue thy very-self so little as indeed I do where wilt thouâ—ind â—ind in me that Charity which by thy law I owe for thee towards them Verily when I consider how destitute I am of al that might make me pleasing in thine eyes I cannot but tremble and fear Yet again taking hart remembring thy Mercy towards me I find I haue cause of hope thou being goodnes itself whose nature is to desir to impart it-self which if thou wilt be pleased to do to my poor soul I shal notwithstanding al my sins become yet in thee and by thee most happy towards which I beseech thee grant me grace to dispose my-self for thy only honour who be Blessed for euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O Lord my God what Mercy art thou pleased to shew to my sinful soul Is it possible after so many abominable offeÌ„ces that thou shoudst thus particularly fauour me If it were euer possible to be lawful for thy creatures to exclaim against thee and taxe thee oâ— iniustice it might be admitted them in this thou hast done and doest â—or me the most sinnful and most contemptible of al thy Maiesties creatures If â— had euer donâ— any good they perhaps would not wonder at theâ— but as it is theâ— cannot but at least admire thy infinit sweetnes and Mercy For what sin is there I haue not comitted at least by my wil. But the greater thy Mercâ— the more I hope the honouâ— and praise wil be which thy seruanâ— wil yeild to tâ—ee for itâ— and do thâ—â— thy self I beseech theâ— supply ouâ— defect in this and al other things so that perfect praise may be yeilded to thee in al and by al for euer and euer Amen THE XLIII CONFESSION LOrd with great ioy I desir to celebrat this diuine Solemnity of thy Resurrection Thou hast shewed thy-self in al formes so that the weakest capacities might in some sort apprehend thee who art incomprehensible Thou appearedst a child that thy little ones might conceiue more easily some things that might moue them to loue thee and being as it is were astonished at tâ—y loue towards vs and at thy infinit humility we might thirst after thy example and loue only thee For al thou hast done or said is for our comfort and instruction What hast thou left vndone which might any way further our good if we would but concur with thy Grace But we streying from thee how can we choose but be blind For only in thy light can we see and discern that which only importeth vs to see and know to wit to know thee therby to loue thee and to know our-selues therby to humâ—ble vs in al things before thy Diuine Maiesty For nothing but true Humility can make vs gracious in thine eyes So much as we truly humble our selues so much and no more do we encrease in our loue to thee O how peaceful amidst al storms is the souls of the humble how fauoured by thee though they be dispised by the whole world They are indeed often neglected by men but most conuersant with thee and thine Angels and Saints in heauen Neuer was there euer such acquaintance loue and friendship between any in this world as there is between thy Goodnes and an humble soul that seeketh thee aboue al graces and gifts whatsoeuer and transcendeth al created things that she may adhere to thee in the bottom of her soul. Verily it is so strange that it puttetâ— the heauently Court into admiration that we that haue dedicated our souls wholy to thee should loue seeke or desir any thing besids thee But alas human frailty as they wel know is very great and therefor they also cannot choos but pitty and pray for vs and especially we women silly to all things that this â—orld admires and therefor most contemptible of al creatures if we do not labour for the loue of thee â— the which to do thou dost as willingly enable vs as thou dost the wise of the world if we hinder not thy grace who despisest not any thing thou hast made How much are we to be therefor blamed and condemned if we labour not I say for thy loue Yea to shew thy power thou hast been pleased many times to bring a silly woman louing thee to that wisedom that no creature by wit or industry could attain to the same But where my Lord haue these thy Spouses in these dayes placed there harts Where I say seeing they seek and desir so much the â—auour and praise of the world to haue the friendship of men and by letters and toâ—ens to draw their harts from thee vnto them notwithstanding as good reason it prospereth not with vs in such doing for they by this meanes seeing our defect in louing thee cannot confide in them who are not true to thee but coÌ„trary compare vs to those who profer loue to al and yet as we ought for thee loue none O Lord remoue these scandals from thy Church Let vs though we cannot serue thee in great matters yet let vs I say haue no â—arts but to loue thee no tongues but to praise thee nor eyes but to behold thy creatures as things inuiting our souls to loueâ— sigh pant and â—uen languish after tâ—ee No eares but to heare what is thy will and in fine not to liue but in and for tâ—ee and for thy loue to be subiect to euery human creature as far as it is exacted of vs by thee Giue that humilityâ— which by thy blessed Apostle Saint Paul thou requirest in vs that I may willingly submit my-self to the power of Superiors set ouer me by â—hee It is true I see and hear daily â—hat scandals what discorders and â—hat confusions arise in Communities for want oâ— due submission in subiects to their Superiors but alas my God certeinly a chief cause therof is at least in many who haue good wils becaus thy are not taught to obey tâ—ee interiorly in their souls out of which it would proue easy to them to obey exteriorly wheras now it semes a burthen intolerable and forsooth vnder pretence of greater perfection we often fal inâ— to open rebellion Surely
vnto thee who art my hope from my youâ—h and am displeased with my-self for hauing been so vngrateful to thy sweet mercy acknowledging before Heauen aâ—d earth that nothing is iust but that which thou disposest and nothing is wel done saue so far as it is done by thee so much as any thing I do or say is only of mine own wil and desire so far it iustly deserueth punishment to thee be al glâ—ry In nothing is true Peace but in seekâ—ng after God aâ—one and in resting â—n him aboue al his giâ—ts O my God when shal I be able to say Quis me separabit à Charitate Dei VVho shal separate me from the Charity of God O when shal I by true loue become vnited to thee the only desire of my hart and soul Vsquequo Domine obliuisceris me in finem Vsquequo auertis faciem tuam à me How long wilt thou forget me vnto the end Hâ—w long doth thou turn away thy face from me wilt thou for euer be angry with thy poor seruant Behold thou knowst I desire no other comfort vpon earth then to be able without offending thee to liue without al comfort human or diuine O how litâ—le to be esteemed is al the solaces this world can afford The wicked haue been telling me of their delights but they are not like those of thy Law What comfort can any creature lâ—uing afford a soul that sigheth and longeth after thee alone my God and is bannished from the beloned of her soul Verily my God it is only thy-self that can reioyce and comfort such a soul thou only art sweet and al things compared to thee are as nothing and lesse then nothing O my Lord and my God tel me is there any thing in Heauen or on Earth that can satisfy my soul besids thee No certainly Why then dost thou permit me thus to wander from thee who art only worthy to be desired and beloued by my soul O my most deare God who can comprehend the misery that soule suffereth that taketh comfort or desireth any comfort from any creature O how long shal I be subiect to this mysery of inordâ—natly louing thy creatures so that it is an impediment to the louing of thee my Creator who art the supreame Good To thee alone is al loue due and we do steal from thee when our affection is willingly caried to any thing els whatsoeuer O my God my Mercy let vs loue thee as thy diuine Maiesty who art Lord of al things in whose power al things do stand let me I say loue thee as thou wouldst be beloued by me O my Lord as-long as the peace of my soul dependeth of men I can neuer repose in thee or â—ind thee in the bottom of my soul What came I into Râ—ligion â—or but to loue and praise my God my Lord and al my good O when shal I as I desire loue thee and please thee my God and al my desire O my God how cometh it to passe that thou whose mercies are super omnia opera eius Aboue al his works shouldst be now tearmed to be terrible and hard to be pleased Verily I am a sinner and the greatest of al sinners and yet I haue found thee so good and easily pleased that nothing is more pleasant then to serue thee for loue and to beare thy yoke from our youth The yoke of sin is heauy but thine is sweet aboue a the contâ—ntments and pleasures of this world Let those that seek not thee and that desire any thing willingly but thee feare and return to theâ— but let the harts of them that loue thee reioice O Lord. But can I say I loue Verily not I. But shal I for this feareâ— No my God at least not so as to loose confidence which hath in it a great remuneration For seeing by thy grace I desire to loue and to leaue al for loue I wil hopâ— in thy Mercâ— let it assist my extreame frailty anâ— pouerty Of my-self I am nothing but in thy power I shal be able to do al things Thou knowst that I desire to leaue al for thy sake and that if I knew any thing that I loued to the impediment â—of my truly seruing thee it would be so greâ—t a gâ—eif to my soul that nothing in Heauen or earth could comforâ— me til I see my-self freed from that miserable bondage by thy aâ—â—isting Graceâ— which I implore from the bottom of my soul Set me free I mosâ— humbly beseech thee by the multitude oâ— thy Mercies from the sinnes into which I daily fal through my frailty remoue al impedâ—ments between my soul and thee for I am frail aboue al measure Let me liue to thee dying to al other things whatsoeuer Let me find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul Let al creatures be â—ilent that thou alone maist be heard by me And I wil not trouble my-self with them without who are puffing and blowing and thereby raising vp the dust of multiplicity into their own and others eyes Let me enter into the most retired place of my soul and sing loue songs to thee my Al and only Good regarding thee with the simple eye of my soul and sighing out certaâ—n vnspeakabe groans in this pilgrimage of mine into the eares oâ— the only beloued of my hart and soul wo is me that euer I offended such a God! Be propitious O Lord vnto my sin for it is great O Mercy which hath neither end nor measure haue pitty on me and forgiue me my sins Amen God! Let thy Truth and not the blindnes of my own ignorance speak to me Speak Lord for thy seruant heareth or at least desireth to hear thee Behold I set open the eares of my soul that I mny heare my beloued speak Iustice and Peace to my hart For thy voice is sweet and thy face comely and there is none like vnto thâ—e in Beawty and wisedom Thou my God the repose of my labour the ioy of my soul and the comfort of my hart Be to me al in al and aboue al which can be enioyed ot desired Let me O let me rest in thee and in no created thing whatsoeuer Simplify my soul that it may be able to adhere to thee my God transcending al created things O when shal my soul forget al and only be mindful of thee the most pure spirit resting in thee aboue al thy Graces and Gifts O when shal I be by profound Humility reduced to the nothing which only makes a a soul capable of thee who art al good things who art that simple good in which nothing is wanting How long shal I glory in any created thing and seek my-self to the dishonour of him with out whom I could neither haue life nor being much lesseâ— to be able without him to do any thing meriting grace and Saluation O my God when wilt thou set me free that I may glory in thee alone and not by pride exalt
intend Yet what is ill reforme in thee And this will all amend As farre as he doth thinke it good Who is most iust and wise He will thee by afflictions purge From what displease his eyes Willt thou of all that loue thy God From suffring be exempt O no but blisse as others do thy God and liue content Amidst the various accidents That do to thee befall Committ thy selfe and all to God Who seekes our good in all Thy selfe art blind and cannot iudge What is the best for thee But he doth pearce into all things How hâ—dd so ere thâ—y be My hart shall only this desire That thou my Lord dispose Euen as thou pleasest in all things Till these myne eys thou close By death which I so much desire Because it will procure Me to enioy my God my all Where I shall be secure That none from me can take my Lord But for eternity I shall enioy my only good And to him euer be Vnited by a knott of Loue Which nothing shall vnity But will remayne as permanent As his Diuinity O happy houre when willt thou come And set my Spirit free That I may loue and prayse my God For perpetuity Contemplating his glorious face With all that him adore Singing with them his sweetest prayse For eâ—er and euer more In this is such and so great comfort and peace that well may the soule be tearmed to receaue a hundred folde in this life who despiseth it-selfe and all other things that it may finde thee O how free is such a soule to fly with the wings of Loue to the throne of thy Diuine Maiesty Neuer was there or can be imagined such a Loue as is betweene an humble soule and thee Who can expresse what passeth between such a soule and thee Verily neither man nor Angell is able to do it sufficiently and the more such a soule knowes of thee the more sound becometh her humility the which thy selfe only can teach one perfectly and it is impossible to gett it in verity and perfection but by conuersing with thee O my God bestow this heauenly gift on me which only findeth fauour before thee Those that possesse it are able in and by thee to beare all things to vnderstand all things as farre as it is necessary for them For one learneth more in Prayer of thee in one hower then all creatures in the world could teach one in fifty yeares for that which thou teachest is sound solid and secure because it tends to nothing but to loue thee neglect it selfe Thy words bring force strength in themselues thy words are words of peace to the soule thy words are not like the words of men which passe as a sound through the ayr buâ— thyne pearse the very bottome of our soules Lett me hearken therefore to thee who speaketh loue and most certaine truth The wisedome of the world is foolishnes before thee But thy wisedome is much to be desired and for it willingly ought we to giue all our substance to it we ought to be espowsed and by it if we will be happy all our actions ought to be gouerned Allthough thou didst say that vnlesse we become as litle children we could not enter into the kingdome of heauen yet withall thou hast said that we ought to be wise as serpents and simple as doues where thou puttest that we should be wise before we be simple and not simplicity before wisedome whereof I aske thee the reason O my Lord with all the humility I am possibly able For it seems to meâ— that thereinâ— as in all thy words there is a hidden Mystery tell me I say my God of whom in all cases and doubts I aske solution and many times by it thou dost make many things manifest to my simplicity tell me â— say what was the reason Verily it seemeth to me that thou biddest vs be wise before we become simple becaus that is only true Simplicity which followeth true Wisedome For we cannot become truly simplified in our soule but by thy heauenly gift of true wisedome For there is a simplicity which is without wisedome and discretion which litle auayleth to perfection This vertue of Simplicity becometh more and more perfect in the soule as she increaseth in humility and charity yet at the very first of our conuersion this is in some sort practised by vs if we do as we ought to do As for example to become pleasing to thee it is absolutly necessary that a soule walke simply and sincerly before thy selfe and all men and read and heare obey and perâ—forme all in a simple and humble maner not searching into that which belongeth not vnto her this I say thou dost exact for nothing is more odious to thee then the contrary practise But yet this doth not diminish our naturall reason but maketh it more cleere and able to comprehend what is necessary for vs. This vertue also therefor bestow vpon me who euen in my nature as thou well knowest did euer aboue all things hate dissembling and dissimulation O Lord poore as I am and most sinnefull thus thou â—eest how I presume to speake vnto â—hâ—e but easily shall I obtayn pardon of thee becaus thou ouerflowest with â—he aboundance of thy mercy for whâ—ch Glory Prayse Adoration be to thee who art my Lord and my God and only desired by me I haue no friend to speake or treat with but thee and some of thy Saints to whom thou hast giuen charge of me and to whom I fly when my sinnes affright me amongst whom next after thy Deare Mother the Queene of mercy is my beloued S. Augustine O Glorious Saint whose hart did burne And flame with Loue Diuine Remember me most sinnefull wretch Who hunger staru'd doth pine For want of that which thou enioyest In such aboundant measure It is my God that I doe meane My ioy and all my treasure Thy words O Saint are truly sweet Becaus thou dost addresse Them vnto him who 's only meet Our mis'ries to redresse At whose intorcession much hast thou done for me Honour them my Lord for me who am so poore thatâ— haue nothing to present them or thee only a desire of being gratefull to thee who be by all eternally prayâ—sed Amen It was S. Augustine the Doctor and amorous seruant of God that she heere meant THE SECOND CONFESSION Omnis ex vobis qui non renunti at omnibus quae possident non potest meus esse discipulus Qui habet aures audiendi audiat All you who renounce not all you possesse cannot be my disciple who hath eares of hearing let him heare THESE are thy words my Lord which though they seeme hard at first yet being explicated to our soules by thee they become most easy and sweet to performe Teach me therefor my God I beseech thee for thy mercies sake teach me I say how I â—hall perform this to the glory of thyâ—oly â—oly name Thou hast inflamed my â—art as thou
knowest with such a conâ—inuall desire and longing after thee â—hat it seemeth easy to me to performe whatsoeuer is exacted by thee For â—hough I be fraile aboue all I can expresse or imagin yet I am confident in thee by whose helpe and power it is possible to giue me to do all that it pleaseth thee to exact of me Teach me to do thy will becaus thou art my God Lett me Loue thee becaus to want thy Loue is a most grieuous affliction to me Farre as thou knowest it is from me to haue willingly a deuided hart to thee Is it possible that hauing but one soule hart I should bestow any of the affection they are capable of on any thing but thee O faâ—r be this from me Nothing that could happen to my soule would so afflict and discomfort me as to see it adhered to any created thing or to it very-selfe willingly to the impediment of my being wholy possessed by thee Make me that thou wouldst haue me that I may as thou exactest prayse thee This shall be my study my care and all my endeauour to sing in my hart songs of Loue to thee who art only desired and sought after by me In thy prayse I am only happy in which my ioy I will exullt with all that loue thee For what can be a comfort to me while I liue seperated from thee but only to remember that my God who is more myne then I am my owne is absolutly and infinitly happy O lett this thy Loue wholy transforme me into it selfe that I may become insensible to all created things whatsoeuer Lett me be wholy possessed by thee who by so many titles laieth claime to me Can I say or think that any thing is worthy of loue but thee O no but if I had then thowsand harts all were to â— little to bestow vpon theeâ— Shallâ— I any more be so miserable as by louing hauing adhering to or desiring any created thing to become estranged from thee in whom I haue placed all my hope loue and desireâ— I haue indeed chosen thee for my only loue light hope comfort refuge â—elight and whatsoeuer ells can be desired or imagined but it was not of â—y selfe but thy mercy and goodnes â—nforced me euen whither I would 〈◊〉 no by sending me the meanes to now how to serue thee and withall â—iuing me grace of loathing all whâ—ch was not to be a helpe to me O â—â—ese thy mercies when I recount beâ—ore thee euen depriueth me of my â—ery senses to see thee to haue been so â—ood mercifull to her who as it is â—ade plaine to me by thee hath offenâ—ed and been more vngratefull to theeâ—hen â—hen any I did either see or heare off â—hall not I therefor humble my soule â—efore thee and at the feet of all for the â—â—â—e of thee who hath been thus tender of her good who of all thine is the last â—nd least and most contemptible the â—hich being so apparent to me I will â—et more and more humble my self â—y desiring to be despised by all for â—â—y honour and glory Thus my Lord â—ust and ashes presumeth to speake â—nto thee and sitting alone I read what write of thee and calling to minde what thou hast done for me I reioyeâ— in the multitude of thy mercy Foâ— nothing can heere be found in what I heere write for my comfort being bannished from him whom till I may enioy as he is in himselfe nothing will â— rest in for nothing can satiat me Yet as I say it alaieth my grief for hauing offended thee and of being thus remoâ—te from my beginning to which mosâ— ardently I long to returne as pure as I was created by thee This my speaking in all my misery to Thee None thereforâ— can wonder at me For as one who desiâ—reth the prefence of her beloued and expecteth when it shall be can take no comfort till she see whom she so much desireth In the meane while spending her tyme sometymes with thinking that this ioy to her will shortly be and sometymes being wearied with long expectation she employeth her self in some thing which may a litle recreaâ— her hart while thus with her it must be and aboue all it is a pleasure to her to heare of him which she cannot â—et see Thus O Lord it passeth euen â—n that loue which will and deserueth â—o passe which none deserueth but â—â—ou And there is no comparison able â—o expresse the loue which is between a faithfull soule and thee For the more we loue thee the more pure and quiet â—ecometh the soule by this thy heauenly charity Whereas alas it fareth â—arre otherwise with vs when we loue any thing out of thee which is an imâ—ediment to thy Loue which misery before thee in the bitternes of my souâ—e I bemoane becaus thou hauing made our soule so capable of thy diuine Loue and so able to haue relation in all to thee it is an ingratitude able to â—sâ—onish me that we should east away our loue vpon that which is so litle ableâ— to satisfy our soule and whereof there is as litle certainty as there is of the â—ind yea euen in a moment we loose the fauour and opinion of one vpon whom we haue bestowed much tyme in winning it O folly which be henceforth farre from me Lett that infinit extent and desirable freedom of my will powre it selfe out wholy vpon thee that at last iâ— may become perfectly vnited to thy diuine Maiesty O how litle worth when â— am with thee is the desiring of the prayse applause and commendation of men who are now oâ— one mind and now of another nothing being permanent vnder the sunn Verily when in thy light I see this truth it seemeth to me to be an intolerable burthen to be esteemed and praised by men whose fauour often maketh vs incurre thy displeasureâ— at least my frailty causeth it so to me Helpe me therefor and make me by all to become truly humble and pleasing to thee who be adored three and one for all eternity to thy infinit glory Amen THE THIRD CONFESSION O That I were able to winne the harts of the whole world to thee which seeing I am not able to doe lett me be no lett at least to any soules of â—eing thee All loue and prayse is due â—nto thee and all paine reproach confusion and shame vnto me which â—rant I may beare without offending thee and then a thousande times wellcome be any of them which may inâ—rease my loue to thee O let me forsak all for thee which thou willest vs to do that we may find thee What is this thou saiest tell me thy poore seruant leaue all Haue I any thing to leaue which is not more burthensome to keepe then it is paine to leaue If I seeke my selfe what do I labour for but my owne paine If I forsake my selfe for thee behold a most sweet peace is found by me Thus there for
thee but if she presume any thing of herself what perillsâ— and danger she is subiect vnto and she apt to fall into none can conceaue much lesse expresse And to this effect of shewing a soul how to walk securely writeth thy great seruant the Author of the following of Christ in his 21. Chapter of his third book whose words with great ioy I read and before thee speaking too I will heere bring them in beseeching thee to instruct me in the true practise of them For they contayn the way in which a foole cannot erre and without the practise of this our soules lye open to all the snares of the Diuell thine and our enemy No instruction did she so much regard so frequently reflectâ—on or more volue and â—â—â—olve in her mind nor more delighted in â—hen this that followeth being meerly of â—er own finding and obsâ—ruing in the said â—ook which she was familiar in and no â—aruaile considering the excellency and â—ecessity of it for the purpose which she hath mentioned being the securing of one in a Spirituall course thus therefor doth he say â—peaking to her soule Super omnia in omnibus requiesces â—â—ima mea in Domino semper quia ipse est â—anctorum aeterna requies Da mihi dulâ—sâ—me amantissime Iesu in Te super â—mnem Salutem Pulchritudinem super omnem Gloriam honorem super omnem â—â—tentiam DignitateÌ„ super omnem ScieÌ„tiam Subtilitatem super omnes Diuitias Artes super omnem LaetitiaÌ„ Exultationem superomnem famam Laudem super omnem Suauitatem ConsolationeÌ„ super omnem Spem Promissionem super omne Meritum Desiderium super omnia dona munera quae potes dare infundere super omne Gaudium iubilationem quam potest mens capere â—â—ntire Denique super Angelos Archangelos super omnem Exercitum Coeli super omnia visibilia inuisibilia super omne quod Tu Dâ—us meus non esâ— Quia Tu Domine Deus meus super omnia optimus es Tu solus Altissimus Tu solus Potentissimus Tu solus Sufficientissimus Plenissimus Tu solus Suauissimus Solatiosissimus Tu solus Pulcherrimus Amantissimus Tu solus Nobilissimus Gloriosissimus super omnia in quo cunctâ—â— bona simul perfecte sunt semper fuâ—runt erunt Atque ideo minus est insâ—fficiâ—ns quiâ—quid prâ—ter Teipsum mihi donas aut de teipso reuelas vel promittâ—â— Te non viso nec plene adepto Quoniam quidem non potest cor meum veraciter requiescere nec totaliter contentari nisiin Te requiesâ—at omnia dona omnemque Creaturam transcendat Aboue all things in all things my soule thou shalt euer rest in God for hee is the eternall rest of the Saints Grante Mee most sweet and louing Iesus to Rest in Thee aboue all Creatures aboue all Health and Beauty aboue all Glory and Honour aboue all I owre and Dignity aboue all Knowledge and Subtility aboue all riches and Arts Aboue all ioy and â—ladnesse aboue all fame and Praise â—boue all sweetnesse and Comfort aboue â—ll Hope and Promâ—se aboue all meritt â—nd Desyre aboue all Guifts and prefents â—hat Thou canst giue and impart aboue all ioy and Iubilee that the Mind can reâ—eiue feele lastly aboue Angells and Archangells aboue all the heauenly Host aboue all things visible and inuisible and aboue All that Thou art not my God For Thou my Lord God art good aboue all goods Thou alone most high Thou alone â—ost powrefull Thou alone most full and sufficient Thou alone most sweet and comfortable thou alone most beautifull and louing Thou alone most noble and Glorious aboue all Things in whom all â—oods together are most perfectly haue beene and euer shall be And therefore it 〈◊〉 too little and not sufficient whatsoeuer Thou bestowest on Mee besides thy selfe or reuealest of tâ—y selfe or promisest whilst Thou art not seene nor fully obtayned For surely my Hart cannot rest nor be fully contented vnlesse itt rest in Thee and transcend all guifts and Creatures whatsoeuer All things desires and loues are vainâ— But only that which tends To God alone our cheifest good And all things ells transcends My soul therefor by this sweet Loue shall day and night aspire And rest in God all things aboue My Loue and lifes desire And while I liue I le neuer cease To languish for his Loue Breathing and sighing after him Till he my life remoue For since â— am not where I loue How can I comfort find But only in the song of Loue By Loue to me assign'd And where so ere â—his word is 〈◊〉 loue It yeilds a siluer sound But if that word I misse in it Me thinks I want my ground Nothing so simple can be pennd If it but treat of Loue But that it serueth in some sort My sadnes to remoue And shall my soul by senselesse loue Which yet is neuer true Bestow more loue where it is lost Then where 't is only due â— no my God but rather lett Such folly be to me A meanes to vrge my sinnefull soul To Loue more fernently And henceforth lett me draw no breath But to aspire by Loue To thee my God and all my good By whom I liue and moue No Stagge in chace so thirsty is Or greedy of sweet spring As is my soul of thee my God While I heere sighing sing My soul where is thy Loue and Lord Since him thou canst not find O cheere vp hart be comforted For he is in thy mind To him relation thou maist haue As often as thou goes Unto the closett of thy hart Thy griefs for to disclose As silly Lambes from rauening Woolues For help to Sheapheards fly So shall my soul in euery case For help and councell hye To thee my God by humble Prayer In hope and confidence That thou my Lord willt succour me And be my soules defence And seeing that my God is rich How can I say I 'm poore And hee more myne then I myne owne What can I wish for I more And in his Maiesty and power Much more I will reioice Thâ—n if of all in heauen and earth I had commaund and choice My God one thing alone thou know'st I feare and apprehend Which is my Lord for to displease Whose mercies haue no end From all that doth displease thyne eyeâ—â— Be pleas'd to sett me free For nothing ells in heauen or earth Do I dâ—sire but thee And lett me rather death embrace Then thee my God offend Or in my hart to giue thy place To any other freind Nothing would greiue my soul so much As in me to perceaue Any affection in the world That thine would me bereaue I know thou must possesse alone Or els we are not thine In such good plight as we should be If light to vs did shine As thou desirest it should do By grace our soules within For which
are all the helps we haue Intended and haue been Imparted and bestowed by thee That we might liue alone To thee who satiat'st pure soules With ioyes that are vnknown And wo to them a thousand times Who interest haue in any Or haue deuided harts to thee After thy gifts so many For thou hast purchased our loue At too too deare a rate To haue a partner in our hart Which iustly thou dost hate O this thy wrong makes Angells blush O make it farre from me Since that I am both body and soul All conseerate to thee And I also will greiue with them To see thee haue such wrong From soules selected by thy self To sing with them the song Of Loue and praise to thee O God And euen in this place To Contemplate thee as we may O sweet and happy grace If we would dy vnto our selues And all things ells but thee It would be naturall to our soules For to ascend and be Vnited to our Center deare To which our soules would hy Being as proper then to vs As fire to vpwards fly O lett vs therefor loue my God For Loue pertaines to him And lett our soules seek nothing ells But in this Loue to swimme Till we absorpt by his sweet Loue Return from whom we came Where we shall melt into that Loue Which ioyeth me to name And neuer can I it too much Speak of or it desire Since that my God who 's Loue it selfe Doth only Loue require Come therefor all and lett vs loue And with a pure aspect Regard our God in all we do And he will vs protect O that all things vpon the earth Re-ecchoed with thy praise My euerlasting glorious God The Ancient of dayes And it I wish with all my soul Incessantly to sing But seeing this I cannot do My sighes to heauen shall ring Yea if I writ out all the sea Yet could I not expresse The ioy and comfort I do feele In what thou dost possesse No gifts or grace nor comforts heere How great so ere they be Can satiat my longing soul While I possesse not thee For thou art all my harts desire Yea all that I do craue In earth or heauen now and euer Thou art all that I would haue And I do wish with all my soul That to thee I could pray With all my hart and all my strength Ten thowsand times a day Lett peoples tribes and tongues confesse Vnto thy Maiesty And lett vs neuer cease to sing Sanctus Sanctus to thee These are his words my Lord God which whosoeuer practiseth shall find a Spirituall internall life so easy sweet secure and void of all questions that they will walk euen in this bannishment where our life is tearmed and that most iustly a continuall warrefare with a heauenly peace and security For to that soul who proposeth nothing to herself but thy selfe alone aboue all gifts and creatures what can interpose it selfe for to harm her while she remaineth thus confident and humble between Maiestyâ— and her soul. Certainly so subiect doth such an one liue to thee and to all others in that maner as shall be exacted by thee that there can nothing carry her away while thus it stands with her to any errour of vanity and her loue is so founded in true Charity and practised with such Humility and so in her very soul that nothing can interrupt her conuersation with thee Besides in a soul who walketh vpon this secure ground of only seeking thee and only resting in thee such a diuine light doth shine that she iudgeth according to the iustice of thy Diuine will and not according to sense or custome which in these blind days takes place allmost in all things of true reason and this for want of hauing recourse to thee my Lord who art the only true light and of this defect it proceeds that the diuine ways of Loue are now held so perillous and insecure in which my God thou hast an infinit wrong seeing that we were made only to Loue and attend to the praise of thee our Lord. It is true those who will pretend to lead a Spiriâ—uall life and yet seek not in all to deny themselues but desire this gift or this grace this fauour or that comfort lett them pretend for their excuse in it whatsoeuer they please do oâ—ten times miserably deceiue not only themselues but also many others and bring an internal life wholy into a scorne and contempt to the preiudice of their owne soules and also of many others But I wish that those that do this simply by being for a Spirituall life vnapt might giue themselues to that which by Superiors should be found most fitting for them and noâ— be a cause that thy sweet mercy anâ— goodnes should haue such wrong as that other soules who were fit should be hindred from hauing relation to thee by which their soules would be turned wholy into Loue by a vehement desire and longing after thee that one thing that is only necessary and from this house To witt of the Benedictine Nunn◠〈◊〉 Cambray The same she meanes for Paâ—â—â— issued thence and where her natural Sister of the same Spirit Gouernes at present I beseech thee for thy own sake keepe this misery which of all other is the greatest that I can comprehend oâ— imagin THE EIGTH CONFESSION BLESSED is that Simplicity saith my foremencioned Author in his fourth book of the Following of Christ that forsaketh the difficullt way of many questions Those are his words in his said diuine Booke where he proueth the way of Loue to be so easy and secure as I haue before signified O how happy are they who follow thee in Humility and Simplicity of hart for these haue few doubts which are the cause of questions The more a soul is void of doubts the more capable is she speaking ordinarily of these secret wayes of the Diuine Loue For commonly her way must be to resign herself to thy will What roome is there left then for questions Yet when it is thy will that in a reall doubt she ask thou teachest her how to proceed in it that it may be a help to her soul and no hindrance which seldome happens when without thy leaue and sending she presumeth to endanger herself to be intangled by falling out of one doubt and question into fiue hundred others Lett it be with my soul O Lord as it is said of Anna the Mother of thy Prophet Samuel that she turned her countenance no more towards seuerall waies For hauing been taught and instructed by thy sweet mercy that One thing is to me only necessary lett me not loose my selfe by following or trying those seuerall waies of which she speaketh I haue as thou knowst my God had sufficient triall of them to the great misery and difficulty of my poore soul for that time lett me now sing and that from the bottom of my soul that it is good for me to
for vaine is the help of man I will therefor confide in thee my God my mercy who be Adored Praised and Exalted for tyme and eternity Amen THE NINTH CONFESSION LEX Domini immaculata conuertens animas testimonium Domini fidele sapientiam praestans paruulis Iustitiae Domini rectae laerificantes corda praeceptum Domini lucidum illuminans oculos The Law of our Lord is immaculate correcting soules the Testimony of our Lord is faithfull giuing Wisedome to little Ones The Iustices of our Lord be right making harts ioyfull the precept of our Lord light some illuminating the eyes These my God are the words of thy Royall Prophet which are as it followeth in the same Psalme to be desired aboue gold and rich pretious stones yea they are more sweet to a louing soul then the honny or the honny combe Lett this Law of thine conuert my soul that it may become one of thy little ones to whom the grace of true Wisedome is oâ—ten promised by thee Lett thy Iustice make my hart ioyfull For in the perâ—ormance thereof is true Peace only to be found They that liue according to this thy Iustice do enioy such a diuìne tranquillity that it cannot be expressed by any pen whatsoeuer None can walk in this path of true Iustice in perfection but the humble Those find out in thy light what is thy best will and pleasure in all things as farr as humane flesh will admitt and perform thy iust will as well as human frailty will reach When we do perform any thing by this iust rule of thy holy will we find an admirable effect theâ—eof in our soul. This is that which by performing in all things we become truly subiect to thee and haue the merit of Obedience which maketh all our actions so noble before thee and of which vertue of Obedience how much or how little our actions partake so much and no more do they deserue reward Worthyly may Obedience be preferred before Sacrifice For it is that which gouerneth heauen and earth and which only deserueth reward in thy sight Happy are they who walk this way For they haue a â—ast euen of the ioyes of heauen For as they there obey thy will so these thy humble soules do also endeauour to do the same This Obedience to thee maketh the Angells as â—ell content with their degree of Glory as to be of the Seraphins who are yet in a farr higher degree in thy Kingdome This maketh the Saints content with theirs this maketh soules on earth who aspire to thee with all their harts to limit their desires with thy good will and pleasure and by this meanes they desire neither life nor death but in it conforme themselues to thy most iust will this maketh them desyre disgrace nor Glory neither paine nor health neither Crosses nor comforts This Obedience to thee and to Superiors for thee made some soules pleasing to thee by liuing in the wildernes and others by liuing in a Community some by liuing to the profit of their neighbour and others by liuing and attending only to thee in their soules some by liuing in high and eminent degree and hauing commaund ouer many others and some by being esteemed abiect and the very scumme of the world and these if they had of their own choice and election chosen the contrary state would neuer haue arriued to true Sanctity Some also by many paines Crosses come to thee some only by an internall affectioÌ„ to thee hauing that in affection which others suffer in act they also are respected by thee By which it appeares how great a subiection is exacted by thee of those who desire to become vnited to thee and neuer can we prosper in a Spirituall life vnlesse we hearken to thee and obserue euen in the least things what thou wouldst haue vs do and go that way thou wouldst haue vs in all things whatsoeuer For we may be sure thou willt lead vs by the way of Abnegation which is the way of the Crosse which if we will walk with humility and simplicity we shall with security arriue at the port of eternall Glory and enioy thee our only beloued in that degree thou hadst ordained for vs from all eternity liue we long or dy we soone For only in thee can we be happy and by thy meere grace can we deserue to enioy thee What we ouercome is so done in thy strength that the glory is wholy due to thee alone and this I find dayly seeing that when I presume of my own strength though it be in a thing which I haue often ouercome and many times farr greater it seemes to me yet I faile in that euen often to the offending thee my Lord in an extraordinary maner From this errour therefor my God heerafter deliuer thy poore contemptible seruant that I may praisâ— thee who art my only strength and hopeâ— Lead me which way thou willt soâ—â— may blesse thee in all and rest in thee aboue all From thee the strong receaue their strength and in thee sinners that haue nothing of our owne haue wherewith to supply all our want thou flyest vp with them who by an ardent loue haue surmounted all created things and are firmely vnited to thee in Spirit and thou also lendest thy sweet hand to thy little and imperfect ones who are of a good will to help them out of the mire and durt of passions and inordinate affections In this mercy my soul doth hope and reioice and I do in my pouerty congratulate the perfections of others beseeching thee to make me partaker of their merits And aboue all out of the aboundance of thy owne store giue me whereâ—ith to retorn to thee for all the merâ—ies thou hast shewed to my sinnefull â—oul Lett me please thee and praise â—hee and desire no more but that thou do with me whatsoeuer thou knowst most to thy honour O that soules would conuert their hart wholy to thee the most desirable beawty to whom if we compare all that is fair which thou hast made they will seeme â—o be without all beawty and light O if by humility soules would dispose themselues for the Diuine Loue what a reformation would there quickly be in the whole world When I remember how many soules seperate themselues by sinfull sinning from thee it pearceth my very soul seeing they forsak him who is an infinit good and a most amiable beawty Remember O Lord for thy own sake our extreame frailty and giue graâ—e that we may all conuert and return by Loue to thy Diuine Maiesty whose mercies are aboue all thy works for which Glory be euer to thee by all for time and eternity Amen THE X. CONFESSION ACCEDITE ad Deum illuminamini facies vestrae non confundentur Come to Him and be illuminated and your faces shall not be confounded These words in our diuine Office are spoken not only by him who by thy owne testimony was a man
according to thy owne hart but proceeded from the holy Ghost the Spirit of all truth who speaketh by the Prophets and Apostles for the comfort instruction and illumination of such as are true members of our holy Mother the Church how weak and contemptible soeuer they be In the beleif of which Church and in hope of thy mercies which I haue always experienced to be great towards me thy poore seruant I fly to thee in all my doubts and obscurities which sinne ignorance and imperfection cause to my soul in her way â—owards thee her only desired Beloued â—he by whom thou speak this had â—â—cepted any I should not haue daâ—d to haue applyed it to my selfe â—ut as it is I should do thee wrong â—o fly from thee when thou bidst me â—â—me and be illuminated Though my â—â—nnes be great yet thy mercies exâ—eed all the sinnes in the world I â—ill therefor come to thee that my â—â—ce be not confounded I will approach â—o thee the only true light that my souâ—â— may Loue thee being guided by â—his thy light In this light the glorious 〈◊〉 Augustin walked in an extraordiâ—ary maner when he cried out with â— most amorous hart Lord lett me know â—hee and lett me know my-selfe These â—wo knowledges are inseparable â—ompanions and increase the one â—y the other For who can know theeâ—nlesse â—nlesse he know himself vnlesse he â—e taught by thee Those that would â—now some thing of thee and would be fauoured by thee for any end but to loue thee and to learn to dispise themselues be in perill of a most dangerous ruine For those that walk the true way of the Crosse desire nâ— fauour but to be able without aâ— comfort to be faithfull to thee mâ— Lord God Those that haue done thâ— contrary of which alas there hauâ— not been a few are they which hauâ— brought a Spirituall life into such contempt that they shall haue in â— maner all the world about their eareâ— to censure them who enter into it one obiecting it will put one out oâ— his wits as they haue found by experience in many that ventureâ— vpon such a course Others say Those that affect singular waies of Spirit are in eminent perill of being deluded by the diuell Others pretend that those poore soules pretend such perfection that they slight and contemne the courses of others though their Superiors and betters which is an euident signe that they are for all their pretence in a great errour Others obiect that they abstract their affections from all the world and indeed would seeme to be dead to all creatures but that this they do that they may the better loue themselues and while they seek themselues in a Spirituall maner in the gifts and graces of God they say they are in more danger then those that liue in sinne and wickednes Others alleadg that the quietnes they seeme to enioy in occurring accidents of difficulty is either natural or els becaus they pretending to lead forsooth a Spirituall life are bound in honour to endure them patiently least otherwise they be prooued to their disgrace to be but in an imaginary course which a Spiritual life in these dayes is generally held to be Thus and in infinit other maners as it is known to thee I haue in some sort experienced euen from them whom I could haue expected by the place they â—ear to haue been hartned in my desyre of tending to thee to the vttermost ability of my soul but well might they do it seeing they were also in place where they were bound to reform in me what was and is amis in my life which I must confesse is very much but yet I confide in thy help But in fine the obiections against an internall life are so many that much help is necessary for a soul that shall be able to hold and go through with all obiections and difficulties in that kind For one saies for want of this circumstance all their life is in perill and another saith that the said circumstance may stand with a true Spirituall life but yet that there is another matter or circumstance which were necessary to be reformed in their course and thus in their exceptions there be so many mindes as men and yet none of them can say there is any sinne in that which they alleadg for such a mayn impediment the fault being indeed only that it is not sutable to their apprehension and experience in spiritual matters Thus therefor it stands with soules that in these days would lead a Spirituall life But those who place all their hope in thee my God shall remain stable as a rock and in thee who art their strength and refuge they liue peaceable and content hauing the testimony of their conscience to bâ— their comfort amidst all oppositions and contradictions But aboue all obiections which I haue heard that goes neerest my hart is when I read or hear that it is perillous to walk the way of Loue and that as some would seeme to proue no soul in any other course or state is in such perill as is a soul who giueth herself to thiâ— study But lett them affirm that who will For my part I will shutt my eares from harkning to such men becaus nothing is more plaine more easy more secure more pleasant then the way of Loue. For that way of Loue it cannot be called if the soul seek in it any thing but thee alone which these men would make it allmost impossible for one to do But thou knowst my God that in this thou hast wrong For it being thy own desire that soules should loue thee and thou hauing made them only for that end that they might wholy attend euen in this life to the Loue and Praise of thee alone how can this way be dangerous where the only endeauour of the soul is that thy will be in al fullfilled who can doubt of thy assistance and help therein though we be able to do nothing of our selues Verily it cannot be doubted any more then it can be feared that thou willt cease to be good to thy creatures which thou hast redeemed with thy pretious bloud Lett not soules therefor I beseech thee by any such frights be brought into fear of walking this noble and amiable way but lett vs sing in hope Dominus illuminatio mea salus mea quem timebo Si Deus pro nobis quis contra nos My Lord is my light and my Saluation whom shall I feare If God be with vs what matter is it who is against vs. Lett vs proceed humbly till we be admitted to enioy thee the God of Gods in Sion where thy praise shall be perfected in vs. These things therefor remembring and recounting before thee do strengthen my soul that it fall not from the stedfastnes which is grounded and founded vpon thee To harten and inconradg my soul by speaking and writing thus to thee was the caus why these things haue been
through their pride and forgettfullnes of their own nothing and of the greatnes of thy Maiesty which pride aboue all things deliuer me from I beseech thee becaus it makes soules so odious before thy self and all that loue thee Lett me giue all Glory to thee who without any desert of myne hast thus sweetly with Grace preuented me for which be thou euer by all Praised and Adored Amen THE XIII CONFESSION O Lord whose Power Maiesty and Wisedome haue no end haue mercy on me sinner and giue me leaue to speak vnto thee my God and aske thee whither men are pleasing to thee becaus they abound with human knowledg And behold thou affirmest no but vnhappy are they who can pearce into all things if they be ignorant of thee Lett me therefor loue and then I shall not be ignorant of that knowledg which maketh soules so pleasing in thyne eyes to wit knowledge of thee and my self O Loue which in lightnest soules and inflamest harts wâ—th chast loue flow into my soul This loue is honourable wisedome and though the enioyers thereof be accounted fooles by the wise of this world yet thou hast another opinion of them and their humble soules find much fauour in thy pure eyes my God! With this Loue did those abound of whom S. Paul speaketh that they went vp and down in goats skinnes needy despised hidden in dennes and caues of whom the world was not worthy yet some of thy Saints became very honourable and glorious euen in the eyes of the world the which was forced to acknowledge thee great in and by them and there was no resisting of thy wisedome speaking by them amongst which of these thy seruants was the great S. Augustin Doctor and light of thy Church a most ardent louer of thee my God Hee in those books of his that I haue seene turneth his speaches so to thy Maiesty that his words thereby become sweeter then ordinary and while he declareth his own misery he giueth to vnderstand to vs thy most aboundant mercy that all that desire to loue thee my Godâ— may being inuited by him praise thee with him and for the fauour shewed by thee to him O that all to whom thou offrest the fauour of bestowing on them thy diuine Loue if they would after sinning by true Humility dispose themselues for it would become by his example gratefull to thee and loue thee as thou wouldst by them be beloued O how soon dost thou by thy Grace wipe out the sinnâ—â— of such who now detesting their former il liues do striue by humble loue to become grateâ—ull to thee for thy preuenting Mercy O Lord my God though thou hast forgiuen me much yet I am farr from louing thee much Those who now enioy thee that haue heertofor beene sinners as I be they Intercessors to thee for meâ— and be thou euer praised for thy infinit mercy by all thy Maiesties creatures for euer anâ— euer Amen THE XIV CONFESSIONâ— O Lord my God who sweetly disposest all things giue thy poore contemptible creature leaue to speake vnto thee who art the only desire of my soul and my hope from my youth and entierly beloued of my hart To thee I will speak and write not as to one a far of but to stirr vp my soul to Loue thee alone and to draw occasions out of all things to praise and exalt thee whose mercies are aboue all thy works To whom should I make my moane in all my miseries but to thy self who art my God and All and who art neerer to me then I am to my self To whom should I go to be instructed but to the fountain of all wisedome Behold men change their mindes and almost euery man differeth in opinion from another in matters that are indifferent and so great is my ignoranâ—e and blindnes naturally that vnâ—esse thou instruct me I shall all waies â—auer and neuer come to any true â—erfection of knowledg They stand at â—oo great a hazard who confide in â—hemselues and cast not their hope â—holy vpon thee All creatures are vnstable and those that seeke not â—hee aboue all creatures but putt their trust more in men then in thee will find no true peace in their soules O that I did truly Loue for by Loue only my soul shall becom capable of vnderstanding truth Loue is humble â—eaceable subiect to thee in all things The soul that loueth thee is more conuersant in heauen then on earth and what heere she of necessity must admit of serues to her rather as a cessation then any consolation The soul that Loues findeth occasion in all and by all things to praise thee my God and to humble it self Such are willingly subiect for thee and do see how odious it is to thee to see that subiects should contemn contradict or withstand thâ— power in Superiors and make theiâ— imperfection a colour for our sinneâ— If it be right between our soules anâ— thee we shall gladly obey thee speaâ—ke thou or ordain thou by whom thoâ—â— pleasest Teach me therefor to obey for thou only canst instruct me whâ— true humble Obedience is If thou dâ— not teach me I may perhaps giue to Caesar what is tâ—yne and deny to giue Caesar what is due to him by thy will Let me obey therefor for theeâ— and in order to thy will and with an internall regard of thee whose due is all the subiection and loue that can be giuen by my poor soul. Open the eyes of my soul that I may see what thou exactest in all things Instruct me by whom and in what maner thoâ— pleasest So I may but know what thy will and pleasure is it suffizeth thy poore seruant Giue me grace to obey thee my God with all that Loue thee for euer Amen THE XV. CONFESSION O Lord my God what soul that truly loues thee can complain what difficulties soeuer she endures or how great a desolation soeuer obscures her soul or how great paines soeuer she sustaines seeing thou whom she loueth more then her life and self art always the same beholding with an amorous and louing eye the louing soul afflicted by thee or by thy permission rather to try her fidelity then to oppresse her with such a burthen that might separate her from her only beloued for seeing nothing is dreaded by her but to be seperated from her God she holding humility and confidence thou O Lord wilt neuer permit her to be ouercome For thou makest the quarrel thyne own thus fought by vs and the victory ours though indeed gained by thee not by our own selues O how happy am I in thy Power and Glory Verily though I were to return to my own nothing yet I could not account my self void of an infinit happines seeing my God who is more mine then â— am my own would remain and be the same in all Wisedome and Maiesty Thâ—s is the repose of my labour and the crown of my glory in which I will exult in my greatest
return For she hauing forsaken all for thee and hauing tasted of thy sweetnes saieth with the Prophet Turn away myne eyes that they see not vanity least like a dog she return to her vomit and after hauing had a glimering of thy light she becaus she feared she should not be able to sustain thy chastisements and shouâ—d forgett and loose herself by these tribulations and desirous that she might be happily enabled to enâ—er the more fully into thee and fearing I say her own frailty she thus againe crieth out to thee by these other words of the Psalmist saying Domine Deus salutis meae in die clamaui nocte coram te O Lord God of my saluation day and night haue I cryed after Thee For who but thy self can comfort a soul that indeed neither seekes nor desires any thing but thee my God O when shall I spend all my strength and forces in singing thy Praises Who would sett their harts vpon any thing but thee seeing thou hast made all other things so hard to be obtained that we might seeke only thee for whom we were made and whose Loue we may more easily obtaine then any thing els whatsoâ—uer O lett me Loue thee who only for that end didst create me We would haue that which is worth nothing and many times greiue for the losse of that which would but cause vs perplexity and trouble to haue In the meane time neglecting that which thou so infinitly desirest to bestow vpon vs to wit thy loue then which nothâ—ng is so good or sweet or that bringeth such true peace to the soul. THE XX. CONFESSION WITHOVT paine it is impossible O my most Amiable God to liue in loue But if the difficulties which thy true friends and seruants feele were weighed with the miseries of those who rather seek to please themselues and others then thee there would be found an infinit disâ—parity For thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light to the simple and humble and to those who serue thee for loue and whose ioy thou thy self art and who nothing els but thee my God do seâ—k for in time or eternity These I say are despised contemned afflicted pained tempted troubled and many times sit sorrowfull with a heauy hart and sad countenance But thy will being their law and thy disposition their consolation I may boldly affirme that in all this they suffer nothing in comparison of the fondâ— louers of this world becaus thou being euer more present to them then tâ—ey to themselues dost when thou seest thy time refresh their souls with the light and comfort of thy grace yea seeming to be euen prodigall of thy sweetnes to such as abide faithfull to thee in their tribulations and hope confide and glory in thee and not in themselues and who take occasion in all they see heare suffer ouercome to humble themselues vnder thy mighty hand and blesse and praise thy Iustice and Mercy in all things whatsoeuer Amongst which number admit me poor and contemptible sinner to thy greater glory for this thy Mercy from all creatures for euer and euer Amen THE XXI CONFESSION O My Lord and my God remoue al impediments between thy Goodnes and my poor soul that I may loue thee who only deseruest all loue and honour Giue me an humble and peacefull hart that thou maist inhabit therein as thou desirest Suppres in me by thy sweet Grace the sin of pride which maketh me as yet so odious to thy Diuine Maiesty O if we did but by true Humility abase our selues what beames of true light would shine in the bottome of our souls O what amity is there between thy Diuine Maiesty and an humble soul Nothing but Humility could haue drawn thee down to the earth and only Humility can make vs capable of being drawn by â—hee vp to heauen The truly humble conuers familiarly with thee and thy Saints They presuming nothing of themselues can do all things in thee who strengthnest them And thou art so chary and tender of the humble that what concerneth them thou esteemest to concern thy owne self and euen thy own hart And they thinking they do nothing do by thee do all things Many vnknown to the worldâ— and of no esteem wiâ—h it shall before thee haue the honour and merâ—t in the next world of that which noâ— other men boast of and attribute to themselues For the humble liuing stil in their own nothing giue all glory to thee by whom only all good is performed in the mean while thou enriching them of thy meere Mercy with thy Merits O happy exchange thinâ— for ours durt for the most pure gold What is all we can do Verily nothing Enrich me therefor poor begger with some-what of thyne At thâ— feet I lay whatsoeuer thou giuest oâ— hast giuen me Giue or take away 〈◊〉 thou pleasest so thou do not blot mâ— out of the book of life Open to me knocking at the door of thy Mercy I haue been fiue and twenty yeares this signifieth her age at the writing heerof as that she was then fiue and twenty years olde in my infirmity of most loathsome sinnes behold my misery and take pitty vpon me Sonne of Dauid I defiled that â—oul that was made to thy owne Image and liknes haue compassion on her who hath no other friend or comforter but thy self the only desired of my hart For thy owne sake be propitious to my sin for it is much Nothing that I haue done can I alleadg to thee which hath deserued any reward in thine eyes Onely desires of which manie burn in hell they being little without good works Giue her to drink who withers away for want of thee the fountain of al sweetnes I will powre out my soul before thee that at least I may comfort my self with relating to thee my sinnes and miseries Behold all my ennemies triumph ouer me of whom most easily in all temptations they get â—he victory Fight for me or els I know not what will become of me giue me true Humility by which all things are easily ouercome and all thou exactest most perfectly accomplâ—shed by vs thy Maiesties poor creatures Giue thy self to meâ— who hath nothing of her own to offer thee and if thou giue me thy self I am as rich as I desire to be and if thou shouldst bestoâ— vpon me all thou hast or can create it would be little to me vnles I possessed thee By thy felf I Praise thee whose name doth not be-seeme the mouth of a sinner O let me Loue or not liue I giue my self to thee whome alone I wish for and desire with all the forces of my hart and soul. O my God how neere thou art to vs ready to heare and receaue our prayers and petitions Behold thy sâ—eeâ— prouidence sheweth it self in all things O how long shall my God be thus â—orgotten by creatures When wilt thou by Loue be by all sought after as thou oughtest to be by vs THE
I speak to thee according to his desire still more and more inflame my loue vnto thee Be thou all in all and aboue all vnto me If thou teach not my soul to loue in vain is the endeauour of man speaking and preaching to me Let me â—eare thee by him and let me not so harken to him without that I grow deaf to thee who art within Thy words are works Either speak by others for our good or by tâ—y self in the most interior of our soul. O happines that there should be such a capacity in vs of hauing relation to thee in all things Al things created may faile vs but thou who only canst fatiat our harts canst neuer change or alter but art stil the same and thy yeares shall not faile Thou teachest a soul true Humility and solid vertue In thee nothing is neglected thou art the Maiester of Perfection Thou teachest the simple humble and louing soul thy wayes and giuest her hidden Manna in the strength of which she may walk euen to the hous of her God where she shall praise him for euer and euer Qui ambulat simpliciter ambulat confidenter who walketh simply walketh confidently if we loue thee all will cooperat to good which graunt to thy own Praise Amen THE XXV CONFESSION OMnis populus venit ad Iesum sedens docebat eos All the people came Iesus and hee sitting taught them Can I heare and consider these words written by thy best beloued Disciple and not euen melt into tears of ioy If indeed any had been by thee my Lord reiected I might haue feared and that most iustly remembring my past and present sinnes But to put me out of feare and doubt thy holy Euangelist saith Omnis all To thee therefor I will fly and of thee I will learn how I may Please Praise and loue thee and how by true Humility I may dye to my self and all created things Hereby wholy to liue to thee my all and onely good Thou knowst that my soul without ceasing doth long after thee and to see it-self free from all that which is a hindrance to my perfectly louing thee Oâ— Loue of my Lord God how forcible art thou in a pure soul O who will giue thee to me that my hart may be purged and purified thereby to becom a pleasing habitation for my God O Lord who art Goodnes it self can there be found any ioy comfort or true content in any thing but thee Can there I say for as for me far hath it been from thee to permit any thing but thy self to be sweet to mee O all ye that think it a burthen to be obliged by your Profession to tend to great Perfection and fear the punishment of our doing the contrary raise vp your harts and remember what it is that our Lord exacteth of you by this your Profession and this as it may seeme at first a seuere exaction so remember wel and consider I say what it is and your harts will rejoyce that feare our Lord. It is O it is to loue without bounds or measure It is to leaue your self that you may find God It is to fly from the world that you may hear our Lord speaking peace to your soul It is to submit and subiect your self wholy to him whose will none can resist but as they are permitted by him It is to be subiect to euery liuing creature for him who submitted himsef to the death of the Cross that we might become capable of enioying him This is that he exacteth of vs who haue dedicated our souls wholy to him This is that he requireth which though at first it seeme a burthen to perform yet that which seemeth so is indeed quite otherwise as we shal find in effect if we perform that out of loue which out of his loue to vs he exacteth of vs. For what is sweeter then to loue Yea and to loue him whom the more we loue the more it becometh delightful to vs to loue the more strict our obligation is to him the lighter is our burthen we haue to beare For he doing all that he hath done for vs to bring vs into this state to oblige vs to loue doth also if we be not the hindrance oblige himself to giue vs this Diuine loue of his which is able to vnite a poor contemptible creature to his Diuine Maiesty whom we are not worthy to name O sweet and most desirable yoke well maist thou be said to be sweet thou bringing true and perfect liberty For loue maketh light all burthens and sweetneth al labours and to them that loue it is easy to suffer any aduersities for their loueds sake O let me being obliged by thee to loue let me I say through thy mercy obtain this loue of thre which maketh a soul in all things grateful and faithful to thee Let me not offend thee in my miseries and then come as many as pleases thee for I account that only a misery to wit to offend thee Let all things praise thee and let me in all praise thy Diuine Maiesty with them that loue thee Behold Fire Sea Snow Thunder Lightning Hail and â—he Spirits of storms do thy will and yet I in all contradict it who am capable of thy loue and am inuited to loue so many ways by thee my God O let this thy loue wholy posses my soul that all that is within me may blesse thy holy Name I renounce into thy hands all that is in me contrary to this thy loue Let it wholy consume me that I may be wholy turned into loue and that nothing els may be desired by me Let me be drowned and swallowed vp in that of Diuine loue in which my soul may swim for all eternity neuer more by sin to be separated from thee O when wil this day come that I may return to thee my beginning When will thy Glory appeare When shal death be swalowed vp in victory that I may without ceasing Praise thee my God whose name I write with no smal comfort though otherwise I be so drie that I can scarce think vpon thee To heare thâ—e named or to write to or of thee refresheth my soul in al her misery and to it I flye from the thoughts feares and cares which as thou knowst often oppres me for my humiliation who for my pride deserue iustly to be reiected for euer by thee But in such case I hope both liuing and dying that thou my Lord art my God my Mercy and what is wanting to me I shal aboundantly posses if I confide only in thee which grant that I may not faile to do who only art to be Adored for all eternity Amen THE XXVI CONFESSION ERant appropinquantes ad Iesum Publicani peccatores vt audirent illum There were sinners and Publicans approaching to Iesus that they might hear him This is writ in the Gospel of this day my Lord which doth much comfort my sinfull
soul flying to thee for help and succour in the necessities wherein I daily languish For none didst thou euer reiect neither sick as witnes the Leapers and diuers others which were abhorred by men for their loathsom diseases nor the deformed nor the blind nor the lame nor the poor and contemptible no nor the sinners whose loathsome sinnes made their souls much more deformed in thy pure eyes then any discase could make a body in the eyes of the beholders But why do I presume to speak to my God in this simple maner verily my Lord only presuming of the most aboundant fountain of thy mercies do I thus refresh my soul with recounting these things before thee becaus these places in the Ghospel which treat so particularly of thy receauing and forgiuing sinners doth particularly appartain to me who hauing among them found grace in this kind before thee I do likwise in these things I read find that which putteth me in hope of the continuance of thy Mercy Behold I desire now to conuert my hart wholy to thee and to becom totally in all things subiect to thy Diuine Maiesty Let thy Grace affist me For it is not any thing I can do can saue me The Angel that hath care of me praise thee for me and assist me with his intercession for me Thy Mother hath been indeed a Mother to me for which be she honoured for all eternity as it beseemeth so great an humility to be she vouchsafing to take pitty on me poor miserable sinner for all which Praise be to thee my God and All for all eternity Amen THE XXVII CONFESSION PAtientia pauperum non peribit in finem The patience of the poor shal not perish in the end O Lord my God seeing the way of the Cross is the way that al in this life must walk of what state or dignity soeuer they be none exempted from suffering some in body by paines and sicknes some by pouerty and want of necessaries some by loss of friends some by the disloialty of such whom they confided in some by loss of their goods by fire wars and the like and some by their own indiscretion vnwarines and want of foresight falling into disgrace some by setting their affection where it is reiected grow desperate mad and some therby liuing in perpetual discomfort become woful murtherers of themselues some fortune frowning vpon them haue al things go contrary to their desire and in fine no place no person nor any condition can be free from suffering in this miserable life But shal we think this was ordained to be thus by thee by chance or becaus thou dost not loue what thou hast made No God forbid we should euer think so but that which made thee ordain it so was only to the end that we being proued or triedâ— as gold in the furnace should thereby become capable of thy pure loue the which if we could obtain easy would it be to suffer any thing which thou permittedst to happen vnto vs. For as for some of the Crosses which happen in this life we are the caus of them our selues and by them we not only suffer paine but also detriment in our souls becaus they proceed from our yeilding to sin and giuing way to our passions and in ordinat affections therby becoming a slaue to sensuality ouer which we should be absolute maisters if we did as we ought concur with thy grace And verily my God to whom I speak and write with much content to my soul thou by this meanes inlightning me with that diuine truth which leadeth in some sort to thy self and much inflameth my hart with a most ardent desire of thee the only desire of my soul to whom I1 aspire day and night without ceasing in my simple manâ—r Verily I say that I am ignorant how it is possible to proceed with any confidence or comfort in any thing if our foundatioÌ„ be not founded in thee by a sincere intention For til I resolued what difficulties soeuer ther by I endured to make thy wil mine owne and thy Disposition my consolation I found no stability in any thing or exercise whatsoeuer and since that time I haue found certeinty and quiet in all the vncerteinty of contrary occurrence For if thou be intended in al our actions what should we fearâ— For we only intending and desiring thy honour in all things how can we doubt but that this by thee in al things wil be accomplished seeing that which thou dost desire and wil we should seek and intend to wit they honour which is only aimed at by vs Can we imagin thou wilt saile on thy part we desiring to do what lyeth in vs No No but conâ—idently we may hope that nothing shal be wanting to vs and thou kwnowst my Lord God that when any thing happeneth which seemeth so to derogate from thy diuine honour that it greiueth my hart thou presently quietest me with these words saying to my soul. Vacate videte quoniam ego sum Deus exaltabor in gentibus exaltabor in terra Be quiet and see that I am God I shall be exalted among the Gentils and shall be exalted in the earth With these words I say thou comfortest my soul. For though I haue desired to make an exchange with â—hee that I may take only care to seeke thy honour in al things committing the care of my welfare to â—hâ—e yet in those things which happen as I think contrary to thy honour I ought to conforme my wil to thy sweet disposition or permission and not disquiet my soul vnder any pretence whatsoeuer For the quiet and humble hart is the place where thou delightest to dwell Thou who art the God of Peace giue me that â—rue loue of thee which only bringeth true Peace and blesse this thy little flock and especially those in it â—ho are by their patience and discretion helpers and furthers to true peace and concord in this poor Conuent of thine My most deaâ—e Lady â—hy Mother and mine by thy sweet Mercy pray to thee for this hous of hers as also our good Angels â—ho haue care of vs. Saint Michael â—ho was so zealous of his honour Saint Raphael who guides vs in the way of thy Law Sanit Gabriel who brought vs the happy tidings of thy coming into this world to reconcile vs sinners to thy heauenly Father Our most holy Father S. Benedict our Mother S. Scholastica as also S. Ioseph S. Iohn S. Thomas and S. Gertrude in whose hart â—hou didst delight to dwell and also my beloued Father S. Augustin whom thou hast giuen me in a particular maner to be a help to me in doubts and feares and an incouradgement by his books to hope for pardon for my innumerable sins and as a fire are al his words to inflame me to seek after and aspire to thy diuine loue and to wish only that that may wholy posses my soul which grant for his
thou hast made is good if it be put for that vse â—or which thou madst it Do not we see that euen Spiders and Serpents do draw the venom from the earth both for the purging it and also for a farther vse that man therof maks and yet these to our seeming are of the least worth as to good among thy creatures But it is our mis vsingâ— abusing and mis-applying thy creatures that makes the world turn vpside down The hail thunder storms rain snow did the three Children in the furnace inuite to praise thee as good in themselues being made by thee But nothing is so good in this world but it may be peruerted and abused For if man whose soul was made by thee in such purity by sin becometh so foul how can this choose but breed disorder in the world al things therein being giuen by thee to be disposed by him and vsed by him as â—â—lpâ— to â—â—rue thee while we liue heer But ô my God I wil speak to thee and I wil cal vpon thee who art Wisedâ—m it-self If thou smile at my folly yet behold me sinner and instruct me in thy Law which is sweet aboue al delights of the world and to serue thee for loue is that which I only desire In al my miseries and afflictions of body and soul thou despisâ—st not any soul flying to thee and dilating my-self to thee I do comfort and strengthen my hart which aspireth to nothing as thou knowst by this my speaking to tâ—ee but to ease my soul by begging help of thee and declaring to thee my only friend my sins and miseries For if we fly from tâ—ee whither go we but out oâ— one darknes into another Who can discouer our wounds to vs but thy-fâ—lf who when we acknowledge them dost also cure the languishing diseases of our very souls O in thy light let me see light that so al impâ—diments may be remoued between thy Godnes and my souâ— My â—oul can neuer return to thee til it â—e purged and purifyed by graceâ—nd â—nd Mercy Of my-self I can do nothing Thou therefor that madst and redeemedst me saue me who euery moment should perish if I were not assisted by thee I see nothing or hear any thing but it giueth me new cause to praise thee and to seek thee aboue al gifts graces and creatures Grant me therefor to serue thee in that maner thou wouldst be serued by meâ— For I am not able to do any thing good of my self Let me by Humility and truâ— obedience return to thee from whom for my sins I deserue to be separated with the diuels eternally but thy Mercy which is aboue al thy works pardon me and giue me Grace to liue better heerafter O my God me thinks some times I haue so liuely a feeling of my own nothing and see so plainly that we depend wholy of thy grace and Mercy that I wonder how it is possible I should anâ— more be able to presume of my-self in any thing whatsoeuer But alas this passeth away and like dust carried away with the winde so is my soul with vanity In which my sin and misery I groan to thee from the bottom of my soul who art my helper and my deliuerer from al mine enemies wherof the greatest is my self and to thee I declare my iniquities which are without end or measure to the end I may glorify thee the more who shewest mercy to me and reiectest not the most disloyal of al thy Maiesties seruants For which let heauen and earth praise thee seeing I am not able by any thing to shew gratitude to thee For I caÌ„ do nothing but declare thy Mercy and beseech thysâ—lf to supply my defect in praising thee For thou only canst do it as I desire it should be done The very Seraphins are too short of being able according to thy worth to praise thee and al thy Angels and â—aints accompt themselues as dumb in comparison of thy deserts from them For al thy sweet Mercy be thou thereâ— for by al not as able but as willing to praise tâ—ee magnifyed for euer and euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O My Lord and my God If none haue much forgiuen them but those that loue much what wil become of me This day we read in our Office that Saint Marie Magdalen coming to thy feet which she watered with her reares heard that comfortable answer from thee to wit Go in peace thy sinnes are forgiuen thee but it was out of this regard that she loued much This answer thou madst to her whose hart in silence spoak vnto thee doth much comfort my sinful soul. But yet when I remember how void I am of that which was the necessary disposition for her soul to hear those comfortable words thy sins are forgiuen thee go in peace it draweth teares â—rom mine eyes to see how far my soul is destitute of that pure loue which preuaileth with thy diuine Maiesty What shal I say What shal I do Or wherein shal I hope I am not fit to plead for my-self my sinnes indeed are so many and so great and as for the loue which only thou desirest behold my soul is destitute of it For if I haue any towards thee my God it is but a sensible childish loue which is a loue little beseeming the bestowing vpon such a God who is al Good Beawty Wisedom yea euen Goodnes and Loue it-self to whom is due a loue which is able to suffer al things for this loue is a strong loue more strong then death it-self the which kind of loue is far from me who am blown down with the least blast of temptation and cannot endure any disgrace desolation or difficulty whatsoeuer as it beseems a true louer of his But notwithstanding my poueâ—ty and misery yet I wil hope in him and wil approach to his feet who is Mercy itself There my Lord and my God I wil in filence sigh and weep both for my sinnes and for my defect in louing thee who art worthy of al loue and Praise whatsoeuer There I wil beg this loue so much to be desired There I wil wish and long for itâ— and from thy feet I wil not depart til thou denounce to me thy sins are forgiuen thee and saiest to my soul go in peace This voice I long to hear in my hart that I may with the voice of exaltation praise thee for euer Amen THE LIII CONFESSION AMen Amen dico vobis quia receperunt mercedem suam Math. 6. Amen Amen I say â—nto you they haue receiued their reward These thy words my Lord and my God come into my mind so often as my thoughts dare to think of hauing deserued any reward at tâ—y hands and serue as a motiue to subiect my soul totally to thy diuine Maiesty before whom now I do professe and acknowledg that my desirs and endeauours are so defectiue in comparison of what is to thee due from me that I may and
do euen say to my soul Peace be humble and subiect in al to thy God whom thou art not worthy so much as to name with thy defiled mouth Indeed my Lord whose power and Maiesty prostrate I acknowledg and adoreâ— with al mine hart and soul if I should neither in this nor in the next world receaue any other reward but what already thou hast bestowed on me which I haue I must needs conâ—esse receaued gratis of thy Mercy without any desert of mine owne yet that which tâ—ou hast so already done for me is sufficient to declare to Heauen and earth the superaboundance of thy mercy and clemency to a sinful and contempâ—tible creature I wil there for sing vnto thee mercy and iudgment al the days of my life wishing always that thy wil which is Iustice it-selâ—â— may be wholy and perfectly accomâ—plishâ—d in me thy sinful seruant Let me liue as-long as it pleaseth thee or dy in the very beginning of these my desires to loue send sicknes or health suddain or lingring death pouerty or aboundance good fame or that I be by al the world despised and in fine in al do with me as it is most for thine honour For in this I plaâ—e al my comfort and happines faithfully to serue thee and to be little or great in thine eyes as seemeth best to thee For I accompt it a sufficient reward for al that euer I shal be able to do or suffer that thou hast admitted me vnworthy wretch into a place of liuing where I may know and euen see with mine eyes how to serue and please thee this I say is more then can be deserued by me For to serue thee is an honour aboue al that can be imagined by me yet without any regard of recompence it is due to thee that I serue and loue thee with al the forces of my body and soul which grant I may now begin to do and perseuer therin til my end that I may for thy own sake obtain the happines eternally to praise thee O remoue al impediments between my soul and thee Let me dy to al created things that I may liue alone to theeâ— O let al creatures be to me as if they were not to the end I may more fully attend to thee in the bottome of my soul where I wil in silence harken to thee Speak Peace to my soul that I may be capable of thy voice more sweet then al things whatsoeuer Speak to my hart but speak so as I may hear thee Teach me how to practise to thy honour those diuine vertues which make souls so pleasing to thee to wit Charity Humility Obedience Patience and Discretion which iudgeth between custome and true reason between opinion and thy true Iustice which manifesteth it self to those souls who seek only to loue and praise thee THIS pious soul hauing written thus far went no farther being surprised with a bodily indisposition vpoâ— the 29. or 30. of Iuly 1633. which proued to be hâ—r last sicknes that brought her to a happy death vpon the 17. of August following The last of these Confessions saue one she began as there appeareth vpon S. Mary Magdalens day being the 22. of Iuly next bâ—fore her death HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Sentences and Sayings of the same pious Soul found in some others papers of hers THE interior or Spiritual disposition os man is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so it be wel al other matters wil also go wel and be in good plight And the good state of the interior and therby also of the exterior proceedeth from the harkning to and following of the Diuine interior Cal or inspiration the which to a â—oul capable of an internal life is or ought to be as al in al. And wo to such a soul who ouercome by threats or perswaâ—ions from without or by temptations within her or other occasions whatsoeuer gâ—ueth ouer her prosecution of Mental prayer by meanes wherof only is she capable of discerning and following the diuine wil and Cal. And therefor ô you souls that are capable of internal prayer do you accordingly prosecute it and be grateful to God for the grace of it For it causeth the greatest happines that is to be gotten in this liâ—e and an answarable happines in the future For by it in this life one passeth through al things how hard and paineful soeuer they be By it we become familiar euen with God him-self and to haue our conuersation in Heauen By it al impediments wil be remoued between God and the soulâ— By it you shal receaue light and grace for al that God would do by you By it we shal come to regard God in al things and profitably neglect our selues By it we shal know how to conuerse on earth without prâ—iudice to our souls And in fine by it we shal praise God and become so vnited to him that nothing shal be able to separate vs for time or eternity from his sweet Goodnes And let him be al in al to vs who only can satisfy our souls He is his own Praise iâ— which and by wâ—ich we are infinitly happy though of our selues we aâ—e able to praise and loue him but in a very poore maner who can say that desire nothing but to loue and praise him that they are poor seeing he who is more theirs then they are their owne is so rich ond to whom nothing is wanting that should make him an infinit happines in this let vs ioy in this iet vs glory without intermission when we are not able to attend vnto him and praise him as we would let vs commend our hart and soul to the Saints in Hâ—auen who without ceasing praise our Lord Let vs do that by them which we are not able to do by our selues yea let vs desire him who is his own praise and only is able to do it as he dâ—serueâ—h to haue it done to supply what he desireâ—h we should wish him Lâ—t vs sâ—ek no other coÌ„foâ—t but to be able without al comfort to be true to him Let vs rest in him alone and and not in any thing that is or can be creaâ—ted Let vs not seâ—ke the gist but the giuer O hoW little is al the loue we can giue him in comparison of that he deserueth from vs where therefâ—r shal thâ—re be room for any created thing in out souls Let vs wish and desire and as far as it lyes in vs procure that al loue be giuen to him Let him haue al Glory al Honour and al Praise Let vs desire the fauour of none but him alone to whose free disposition let vs stand for time and eternity as absolutly by ouâ— wil as if we neuer had any other freedom of wâ—l in vs. Nothing we do or suffer let vs esteâ—me great for our sinnes deserue much more Let our whole care tend to the magnifying of him Let his honour bâ— ours and let vs seek nothing
able to resist thee in them Then their iudgment would be so cleered that they would vnderstand most hidden mysteâ—ies Then an hower of praier would instruct them more fully then fifty years study can do they hauing by the meane of such prayer in al things relation to thee the only true wisedom and in whose light only is true light to be seen By louing thee and dying to themselues in al things they would become maisters of themselues and al the world would then noâ—hing moue them nor would any thing affright them becaus thou wouldst be their stay and comfort in al things If we wil do as we ought and as is best for vs we must be subiect to the wil of God in al things without exception And this is the beâ—efit of an internal life that it makes one capable of seeing and knowing Gods wil and â—lso most ready to performe it Which way soeuer he signify it to them which makes them obey as readily and willingly meerly for Gods sake and out of obedience to him a simple or imperfect Superior as they would an Angel or the Wisest creature in the world yea if it were possible that a worme or any other creature were ordained by God to rule ouer them â—hey would with al their harts embrace his wil by them For without this total subiectâ—on to God it is impossible to become truly Spiritual For if we resist his wil in our Superiors in vaine do we pretend to please him This vertue therefor of Obedience we must learn of him the which must be grounded vpon true ' Humility that must be our stay in al things And those two vertues of Humility and Obedience together with the diuine vertue of Discretion he wil teach vs if we do our parts in seeking to become more more humble and subiect to him For seeing it is his wil we should obey and become truly Humble how can we doubt but he wil giue vs the grace if we Humbly and perseuerantly beg it of Him and practise those vertues vpon occasions as wel as we can For he himself hath saâ—d whâ—n we aske our father bread he doth not giue a stone nor if we aske him fish wil he giue a serpeâ—t much lesse wil he deny vs what is necessary to make vs pleasing to him and we seeking or desiring nothing but by true loue to be faithful to him O Praier praier able to obtaine al things O how cometh it to passe my Lord that this Oâ—â—ipotent thing â—as some of thy deare seruaÌ„ts tearme it praier should be so vnknown yea and euen to them whom thou tearmest the Salt of the earth contemned I meane Mental praier at least for the practise of poore simple women for whom they hold it aboue al things most dangerous euen to my own knowledg as I haue known affirmed by Superiors of seueral Orders O misery to be truly lamented by al that haue or may haue tast iâ— praier and by the effect thereof know how sweet a thing it is to attend only and wholy to the praise and loue of Goâ— Surely the want of the wisedom which by praier the Saints did gaine is the cause why cústome and opinion do take place for the most part in this world of true reason Surely neuer was the world reformed of its sins and errours but it must be by the wisedom which cometh from God and is farre different From that which is accounted Wisedom by the world which as S. Paul saith is folly before God CERTAIN OTHER DEVOtions of the same deuot Soul D. Gertrude More which she left written in her Breuiary In the fore part of her Breuiary she had framed and written the ensuing praier for her due performance of the diuine Office viz Al you that blesse our Lord exalt him al you can for he is greater then al your praises OMNIS SPIRITVS LAVDET Dominum Let euery spirit praise the Lord. AND I â—hy poore creature who am not worthy to name thee my Lord my God and al my good do heer in the preâ—sence of al thy Celestial Court desire 〈◊〉 peâ—form this my Office with al diligenâ—â— and with an amourous affections towards thee my â—oâ— who hast imposâ—d this sweet and most to be desired obligation vpon me sinner who doth not deserue any such honour or comfort from thee as to be admitted to ioine my cold and frozen praises with al those who praise thee either on earth or in heauen where al to my comfort do without ceasinâ— continually praise thee And for what is wanting in me for the performance thereof as I should and ought to do supply it out of the superaboundance of thâ— merits and mercâ— I desire to say it with al my hart according to the intention of our holy Mother the Catholick Church of which I desire through thy grace to liue and dy a true member be thâ—u according to her desir Adored Blessed Magnified and supreamly Superexalted by â—t Let it be to the honour of thy al Immaculaâ—e Mother the Lady and Queen of Angels and Saints to these in a particular maner â— viz to my good Angel our most holy Father S. Benet S. Scholastica S Ioseph S. Peter and S. Paul S. Iohn Enangelist S. Iohn Baptist S. Thomas and my deare S. Augustin S. Mary Magdalen S. Gertrude and in fine al that are in Heauen haue by it to them exhibited by thee what thou willest and desirest should be I beseech thee also that I may by it pray to thee or al afflicted pained tempted and troubled that they may please and praise thee in those their miseries and ouercome them to their comfort and thy glory I also offer to thy sweet Mercy al those souls who by deadly sin are enemies to thee which is indeâ—d the misery of miseries O lét them return to thee wâ—o art our beginning and the true Center of our souls from whom to be separated by sin â—s a most greiuous hel and to whom to be vnited by grace is a most sweet Heauen Conuert therefor and recal those souls to thee for whom â—hou spaâ—edst not â—hy most pretious Bloud shedding it to the very last drop for vs finners I offer thee also my Parents who haue placed me heer in thy house where here I may euen heare and see how to serue thee and where I may night and day attend to thee and praise thee my amiable and most to be desired beloued whom to serue and to be obliged to loue is the only happines in this world and to whom to be tyed by vowes and other obligations of Religion is a most sweet seruitude and yoâ—e and so sweet that no liberty is to it to be compared I offer thee also our holy Congregationâ— and al that euer or shal desire my poore vnworthy prayers and aboue al I offer thee al those in earth or Purgatory which thy diuine Maiesty would haue me pray for to thee beseeching thee that tâ—y Diuine
me in their holy prayers which are most pleasing to thee And I also desire that some wil out of their Châ—rity reade these things to me which heerafter follow when sicke to deathâ— shal be becompassed with those fears and terrors which ordinarily accompany that dreadful hower at which time as al oâ—her be thou my helper and Protectorâ— and in the Bowels of thy Mercy Good Father remâ—mber me poor begger and from heauen send me now and at my departure thy Grace which may bring me to thee where I may with al thy Elect Praiseâ— Adore and worship thee for euer and euer An acte of Contrition partly taken ouâ— of the words of blessed S. Augustin 1. O LORD I confesse I haue sinned aboue the sands of the Sea in number yet such is the greife which I take thereat that I wil not refuse to suffer any kind of punâ—shment for thâ— same O Iesus whatsoeuer thy wil shal be that I should do I desire to performe it according to thy holy wil. I haue nothing to offer vnto thee but a hart willing to do whatsoeuer thouâ—ouldst â—ouldst haue me 2. Hâ—er I offer my-self bound both hand and foot and I lye prostrate at thy feet crauing pardon for my abominable sins and offences 3. I fly not away I appeale not from thy sentence oâ—herwise then from thy Iustice to thy Mercy which we sinners do daily experience to be aboue al thy works 4. I do not plead to be released of any punishment but rather that thou maist iudge me according to thine own Blessed wil only let me not be separated from thee O thou thy-self dost say to vs Thou wilt not sinners death But that we do conuert and liue euen while our souls haue breath And no more then to cease to be canst thou O God refuse To pardon humble penitents that do themselues accuse Being no accepter of persons al hauing cost thee deare Yea euen thy very life it-self how can I therefor fear If euer yet he did disdain sinners that fled to him Then had I little cause of hope but this was neuer seen Foâ— if they doe return to thee thy hart thou wilt not close As witnes can my wretched soul who was so like to lose Al grace and goodnes if thou hadst not me with helpe preuented By sins that would with bloudy teares be while I liue lamented If I as grateful were to thee as thou deseruest I should Or as another in my case vuto thy mercy would But thou whiles that thou liuedst heer by tokens plain didst shew That none should be refused by thee who dost in mercy flow And that my wicked hart did proue who after â—ins so many Hath found much fauour in thine eys without deseruing any O blessed euer be my God for this preuenting grace Which I vnworâ—â—y haue receaud in this most happy place I fled from thee by many sins and thou didst follow me As if my ruin would haue causd some detriment to thee How can this choose but wound my hart when I remember it And euer serue to humble me while at thy feet I sit From whence my Lord my God and al permit me not to rise til I do loue thee as thou wouldst the which doth al comprise 5. I know thou wilst not the death of a sinner but rather that I be conuerted and liue 6. Be pacified therefor I beseech thee for thine own saâ—e and receaue me into thy fauour looke vpon thine own wounds and let them plead my pardon do not for euer blot me out of â—he book of life but rather giue me grace faithfully heerafter to serue and please thee 7. I know it is reason that one who hath been so vngrateful to thy Supreame Maiesty as I haue been should humbled despise and willingly abase himself euen at the feet of al creatures which thy sweet Goodnes grant me to do that I may heerafter find sauour in thine eyes who be blessed and praised by al for euer Amen O sweet Iesus to whom nothing is impossible but not to be merciful to the miserable forgiue me mine offence I am sorry from the bottom of my hart that euer I offended thee or contradicted thy holy wil but I know thou canst forgiue more then I can offend which maketh me confident of being receaued into thy fauour though thy most aboundant Mercy to whom my God be giuen al Laud. Honour and Praise by al creatures in heauen and in earth for euer and euerâ— Amen O amiable Iesus behold al thy creatures do inuite and exhort me to yeald thâ—e praises for al thy benefits which haue been I must ackowledg without end or measure towards me thy vnworthy creature Euery creature doth in their kind sing and set forth thy great Goodnes inuiting me to loue only thee and yet behold how cold and dul I am in Louing Praising and Exalting thee O what shal I say but cry out to thee who art my hope my help my Loue my life and Al yea my Father my Spouse and my God to grant thy Grace may not be void in me after so many infinit benefits O be thou heerafter the only desire and ioy of my soul. Let me look after nothing but thee loue nothing but thee let me night and day sigh and long after thee my beloued Let it suffice me to haue my inteutions and proceedings only approued by thee O let me honour and respect al for thy sake howsoeuer they treate me for my ingratitude hath been so great to thee that al creatures as wel goâ—d as bad may iustly despise me and do thee great honour thereby I offer thee therefor thine own merits seeing I haue none of mine own for those that shal any way reuenge thy quarrel by afflicting her who deserueth nothing but hel for hauing so often offended thee After something which she had collected out of the following of Christ concerning Prayer she writ as followeth O MY Lord God how much do thy Saints praise and commend the holy Exercise of Praier O how happy are â—hose that haue no other study or care then how to extol and praise thy Diuine Maiesty and in Humility of hart to make their necessities known vnto thee who art the Father of Mercies Dius totius consolationis qui consolatur nos in omni tribulatione nostra And the God of al consolation who comforts vs in al our tribulation To whom should we sinners fly but to thee my God who didst thou euer reiect that lamented and wâ—s sory for their sinnes Nay did not publicans and harlots finde thee more willing to forgiue theÌ„ they could be to aske for pardon Thou who forgauest S. Peter S. Mary Magdalen S. Augustin and infinit others their sinnes and offences be merciful to me who groaneth in spirit against my-self to see and remember that I haue made no more hast to conclude an euerlasting peace and league with thee O my God To thee now al the powers of my scattered
defiled and deformed soul doth aspire Behold I do extol now thy deare seruice to the skie professing and protesting that there is no liberty so sweet as to be bound and obliged by vowes to serue thee for loue Thou true and most blessed God how didst thou with a most sweet and seuere kind of Mercy receaue chek and conuince me straying and flying from thee by shamefully seeking that in thy creatures which is only to be found in thee to wit comfort and peace O Lord I am thy seruant say vnto my soul I am thy Saluation and al that is within me shal say Quis similis tibi Deus meus VVho is like vnto thee my Lord God Behold I haue had an auersion from al that which thou louest and an inclination to al which thou hatest But thou hast broken my bands and I wil offer thee a Sacrifice of Praise submitting henceforth my stifneck to thine easy yoke and my shoulders to thy light but then Vnderneath a picture of B. Iohn de Cruce she writ as followeth viz. O Blessed and pure Saint pray for me sinful wretch who am not worthy to cal vpon thee yet coafiding in thine inflamed charity I commit and commend my-self to thy sweet protection now and at the dreadful howre of my death remember me I beseech thee Amen To some Collections which she drew out of S. Augustins Confessions she added as followeth Good God be merciful to mine iniquities for this deare Saints sake of thine whose Humility doth so astonish me that I cannot choose but cry with a loud voice in my hart O how admirable art thou in thy Saints What are his whole Books of Confessions but a profound acknowledgment of his sinnes whieh he doth not only confesse to thee but to al the world to the end that al may perpetually praise thy Mercy But O my God for this Humility of his thou hast highly exalted him for which be thou eternally magnified and praised by al creatures He was one of those sinners for whose conuersation There was more ioy in Heauen then vpon ninty nine Iust and not without great cause seeing he was to be a chief pillar in thy Church and one who might and did draw infinit sinners by his words and writings out of the mire and dreggs of sinne and taught them to submit themselues to thiue easy yoke and to seâ—ue thee for loue and to glory in nothing but thee Yea what is wanting in his words that may inuite our souls to loue thee with al our harts with al our strengths and our neighbour as our selues Who can speaâ—e in the words of thine own Oracles more comfortably to sinners then he hath done â—n fine hâ—s words are so amorously sweet in thy Praises that euen my frozen soul had been melted thereâ— by into thy praise He for thy sake be an Aduocate and Intercessor to thee for me the most sinful and contemptible of al thâ— seruants he I say to whom many sinnes wâ—re forgiuen because he loued much whom I desire together with al the Celestial Court to Adore and Praise thee for me who am not worthy to name thee who be euer blessed Amen In a Collection which she was making out of the Booke of Psalmes she added to some verses as followeth Psal. 23. vers 6. THis is the generation of them that seeke hâ—m of them that seek the face of the God of Iacob I pray God it may proue so with vs to his Honour and Glory â—sâ—l 31. veâ—s â—0 I wil giue thee vnderstanding and wil instruct thee in the way tâ—at thou shalt go I wâ—l fasten mine eyes vpon thee who is not wholy inflamed with a desire to seeke after God alone to heare such a promise from his own mellifluous mouth Psal. 35. vers 10. Because with thee is the fountain of life and in thy light we shal see light I beseech al those deuout souls that shal peruse this book to labour carefully for that light which the Prophet heer speaketh of which proceedeth from loue and not from human wisedom This light by which we shal discerne truth from falshood is gotten by conuerâ—ing with Almighty God and humbling our selues vnder his mighty hand This light hath taught many their way to God that could neither write nor read Sweet Iesus make vs of the number of these little ones to whom this light is reuealed which is hidden from the wise and prudent which is bestowed vpon those that faithfully adhere to God and not on those that glory rather in themselues them in him He be Blessed and Praised by al for euer and euer Amen Psal. 86. vers 5. Reueale thy way to our Lord and hope in him and he wil do it A comfortable saying for those that God permits stil to remain do whâ—t they can in their imperfections v. 7. Haue no emulation in him that appeareth in his way v. 6. Be subiect to our Lord and pray him Note this wel v. 11. The meeke shal inherit the land and shal be delighted in multitude of peace If we truly labour for his peace which is in much Patience the God of Peace wil be amongst vs. v. 25. When he shal fal he shal not be bruised because our Lord putteth his hand vnder O what an incouradgment is this to a poore frail soul Let vs notwithstanding our imperfections confidently and amoâ—ously when we fail hope in his Mercy and then He wil heal and helpe vs who makes vs so many sweet promises VVho be blessed by al creatutes for euer and euer Amen v. 26. I haue been yong for I am old and I haue not seene the iust forsaken nor his seed seeking bread Why do we distruct then who haue dedicated our selues wholy to God fearing ro depend only of his diuine Prouidenâ—e which is the greatest happines in this world and so much to be desired if we had so much loue and couradge as we should Psal. 38 v. 8. Doubtles al things are vanity euery man liuing O my poor soul take good notice of this verse Adhere to our Lord whose years neuer fail and whose helpe is alwaies at hand Giue that to God that is Gods and that to Caesar that is Caesars marke what the Prophet faith in the same Psalme viz. And now what is my Expectation is it not our Lord and my substance is with thee Psal. 39. vers 15. But thou O Lord make not thy considerations far from me thy Mercy and thy truth haue alwayes receaued me O be thou euer blessed for it by al creatures my God and Al. Amen Psal. 40. vers 1. Blessed is the man that vnderstandeth concerning the needy and the poor in the euil day our Lord wil deliuer him O my poor soul though thou hast not where with to releeue the poor in thâ— iâ— huÌ„ger thirst yet dispaire not to gaine this blessing that our Lord wil protâ—ct thee in the euil day which thou standest so much need off For to pray for
those that afflict thee and render good for euil to those that molest thee and being a comfort in al thou canst imagin to those that are afflicted either in body or in mâ—nd without exception of persons is included in the gaining of that most to be desired promise Remember with ioy and imitate the best thou art able the happy example of the late blessed Bishop of Geneua of whom it is reported that one in his diocese exceâ—dinly molesting afflictâ—ng and persecuting this holy Saint yét he vsed him with al loue gentlenes and respect yea more then any other person At which patient proceeding of his one of his subiects wondrâ—ng at and speaking to him of it asked him how he could vse that man so mildly who neuer requited him with other then il turnes for al the grace he shewed him being as it were top ful of bitternes against him To which the Saint humbly answâ—ered O â—aâ—th he if he should put out one of mine eyes I woul smile vpon him wâ—h the other I beseech thee my God for thy own sake graÌ„t thy vnworthiest seruant grace to imiâ—ate this example though to speake truly none can do her an iniury who deserueth so much in punishment for her sinnes Psal. 41. vers 6. and 7. VVby art thou sorrowful my soul and why dost thon trouble me Hope in God because yet I wil confesse to him the saluation of my counâ—â—nance and my God O my soul hope in thy God who can do al things O blessed Hope and Confidence which is able to obtain al things and ouercome al things v. 11. In the day our Lord hath commanded his Merey and in the night a song of him Dost thou not hear my soul tâ—y Lord doth require of thee Mercy towards thy euen Christian for that he sheweth to thee And that night and day thou wâ—lt sing his Praise But Lord thou knowst that thy Praise is not seemly in the mouth of a sinner What then shal I do O hope in thy Mercy Certaine â—omfortable sayings taken out of the holy Scripture for the encouradgment of those that desire with all their harts to Loue and please our most merciful God and first out of the Prophet Isaie Chap. the first VVASH you be cleane take away the euil of your cogitations from mine eyes Câ—ase to do peruersly 17. Learne to do good Seek iudgment succour the oppressed iudge for pupil defend the widow And come and accuse me saith our Lord. 18. If your sins shal be as scarlet they shal be made as whit as snow and if they be as red as vermilion they shal be whit as wool 19. If you be willing and wil hear me you shal eat the good things of the earth 22. Thy siluer is turned into drosse thy wine is mingled with water But hear what followeth O my soul and therefor be not discomforted though al thou dost and sufferest be very imperfect yet behold what he promiseth who can do al things If he wil he can make thee clean If he command the wind and sea wil be stil and there wil eâ—sue a calme Commit thy â—elf to him and he wil helpe thee when he thinketh fit O God thy wil be done therefor in me for euer and euer Amen 25. I wil turn my hand to thee and boyle out thy drâ—ssâ—â—il it be pure and wil take away al thy tinâ—e 26. Aâ—ter these things thou shalt be called the Iust a faithful City Shal I feare to be forsaken by thee my God after al these sweet promises No I wil hope in the multitude of thy Mercies Though I haue hitherto sinued against Heauen and before thee so that I am not worthy to be called thy child yet let me eat of the crumes which fal from my Maisters table that I may grow stronger heerafter in resisting that which maketh me displeasing in thy pure eyes Hear my Lord the voyce of a sinner which would faine loue tâ—ee and with her hart and soul as greatly please the as euer she bath offended thee Let me either loue or not liâ—e I know thy Merciâ—s are so great that tâ—ou hast admitted those to eat of the bread of Angels which hertofore fed of Huskes like swine yea S. Gertrude saith that the more base vile and contemptible the creature is to whom thou shewest mercy the more extolled art tâ—ou by al thine Angels and Saints in Heauen I wil therefore hope in thee and beseech al tâ—y Saints to pray for me and praise tâ—ee for taking pitty of me who am not worthy to cast vp`mine eyes to Heauen much les to thinke vpon or praise tâ—ee To thee O my God and al my desire be giuen perpetual Praise and Adoration for al eternity by al creatures Amen CHAP. II. COme let vs go vp to the Mount of our Lord and to the house of the Gâ—d of Iacob and he wil teach vs his waies aâ—d we shal walke in his â—athes 5. Houâ—e of Iacob come ye and let vs walke in the light of our Lord. O my God happy are they that walke in this light In this light none walke but the Humble and cleane of hart and those that serue thee for loue whose ioy thou thy-self art and who sing with the Prophet Rennit consolari anima mea My soul refused to be comforâ—ed These do in some sorte more or lesse as thou pleasest find how sweet and happy a thing it is to seeke and sigh after thee alone Return my soul to thy beloued return seek for no consolation but put thy hope in God Commit thy-self vnto God and let him do with thee what pleaseth him Neuer seeke thine owne glory neuer desire thy wil may be done but in al things intend loue and preferre the Glory and wil of God If any come vnto him he shal not return empty because he willngly giueth water to the thirsty In the bowels of thy Mercy my God remember me poor begger born and liuing in blindnes Grant me that I may see and walke in â—hy light that my soul may become truly pleasing to thee O my Lord God whom only I desire to loue serue and praise make me in al things conformable to thy holy wil who be blessed for euer and euer Amen Amen Amenâ— Scio cui credidi certus sumâ— I know whom I haâ—e trusted and am secure saith S. Paul O glorious S. Augustin my deare Patron whom from my infancy in my poor mauer I haue honoured in a particular maner and who hast been alwaies ready to assist me in calling vpon thee I beseech thee for the loue of him by whose loue thy hart was so inflamed to assist me at the hour of my death and obtaine for me of our Lord that liuing and dying I may be wholy conformable to his Blessed wil neither desiting for time or eternity any other thing then that his diuine pleasure be perfectly accomplished in me his vnworthy vngrateful creature And in that dreadful houre
thy own self my Lord who made vs for this alone that by true sincerâ— affection we should adhere to thee the chiefe and supreame Good O woe is me iâ— for any intention or for any creatures sake whatsoeuer I should do any thing with other intention willingly then to please and become inwardly in the bottom of my souâ— vnited to thee heer by grace and in Heauen for al eternity Al things and creatures fail only tâ—y-self art constant thou art alwayeâ— present alwaies willing to helpe thy poor seruants euer ready â—o cure our woundsâ— which through human frailty by sin we daily cause in our souls Let vs who haue been greiuous sinners and do so aboundantly experience thy Mercy giue great and continual praise to thee our God who hath sweetly redeemed vs to thy-self in the Bloud of Iesus thy Sonne the immaculate Lambe giuing vs therby hope of remission of our innumerable sins Great art thou O Lord and exceeding worthy of al Praise O let al things Adore and Exalt my God with al their soul and strength What other study what other endeauourâ— or what other desire shal possesse my soul willingly day or night but that I may in al and aboue al things praise and loue my God As nothing is superior to a soul but thy self so nothing but thou can satisfy and satiat our souls in Heaueâ— oâ— earth nothing I say but thy-self to whom ouly let my hart â—ende and only in al things intend Thou being the only true and proper Center of our hart and soul what can make this miserable banishment where to my greife I daily offend thee tolerable to me but only to aspire to thee by sighs desires and vnspeakable groanes in my hart and soul O let true loue vnite me to thee who art by al Adored and Praised for al eternity in thy Heauenly contrey Amen Some speeches of heathen Consuls and Philosophers which shew Christians their duty also their happines in knowing how to make good vse of their knowledge to their Saluation in which those Heathens perished becaâ—s they did not beleeue and acknowledg our Lord God but vanish away in their own cogitations by seeking only fame honour and applause of the people c. which yet in their wisedom they saw to be but an vncertain vanity AND first The answer of one of the greatest and wiâ—est of them when he waâ— offered power and honour and sacrifice according to their custome of vsing such as for wisedome nobility and couradg deserued it in their eyes The more saith he I consideâ— with myself of things done boâ—h in old and later times the more the vncertainties and vanities of fortune in al moral affaires oâ—curâ—e to my rememhrance and the more plainly doth their vanity appeare vnto me O my God what a deâ—inition is heer of a heathen which did not so much as know thee or for what end this vncertainty was in them permitted by thee What a shame is it if we who are not only Christians but religious should esteem or seek after any thing but thee in whom alone is stabiliâ—y to be found and enioyed One hing is necessary Let chance fortun power where it is giuen by thee dâ—spose of al things as they wil as for me I wâ—l sing in al occurrences It is good for me to adhere to my Lord God thâ— only desire and beloued of my soul and hart I wil hauâ— no care or study but how I may in al chances spend my whole forcâ—s and strength in his Praise who be Adored prostrat by al creatures for euer and euer Amen Amen ANOTHER SAID Such as stand in feare are irresolute in al their determinations He spoake it of those who out of feare to displease and desire to please for human respects became â—hereby a slaue to euery ones humour and keept not their freedom and liberty which was got by suppressing of natural passions Another speaking in a controuersy where one was to be iudg of two accusing on another and defending themselues before the Senate saith The truth or thing beleeued and wrested to the worst are easiâ—y to be discerned by one iudg if he be vise vpright and iust and not interrested in neiâ—her side Also another said That the disloyal are odious euen to those whose instrumeÌ„ts they are Of a little beginning comes often great incoÌ„uenience which might be preuented by doing as one of the Heathens dâ—d who excelled most of his time in Nobiâ—ity wisedom and al moral vertues who had so great temper ouer his affections and passions that neither for honour as being offered to be made a King nor for gain would he be false to his Pâ—iâ—ce who yet fauoured him â—o little by reason he was so much honoured by al the common wealthâ— that he gaue way to haue him poisoned at thirty years of age he being also his own father that was Caesar. He was so iust that in matâ—ers of the greatest controuersy he alwaies did true Iustice and his enemy whom he knew sought his death he honoured as his Partner being yet in nobility much his inferior but boare rule with him at Caesars command This enemy being once at a baÌ„quet with him where most of the Nobility were present he vttered sâ—ch disgraceful words and speaches of him to his face that al were amazed to see him not so much as change his counâ—enance at him And after this hearing he was in distresse at Sea he sent his own Conuoy to deliuer him from drowning though he knew his iourney was to accuse him to Caesar and the Senat and also to plot his death which indeed heat last achiued being both at one Bancquet not loÌ„g afâ—er which example sheweth vs how amiable vertue is euen in the very Heathens in whom it was but moral â—how much ought we to practise it in whom by Charity it becometh Diuine O how truly glorious are they my God who indeed posses thy loue which so worthily by holy Scripture is tearmed most Honourable wisedome But alas to humain frailty it is hard to put vp iniuries much more to do good for euil at least nature suggesteth to vs that it is vnpleasant and therefore vrgeth vs not to put vp this or that least those who are contrary to vs do add difficulty vpon difficulty seeing we put it vp so quietly But this pretence of nature is so fals and oft euen in humain respects so inconuenient whilst we by disputing resisting or in the like maner requiting do draw grater incoÌ„â—eniences vpon our selues where as quietly â—erting it passe it would soon come to nothing Nayfarther I wil speak add this to the honour of my Lord God whose way of vertue and the Cross is so sweet in coÌ„parison of the way of sin and yealding to our passionsâ— that if he had neuer intended other reward for those that Humbly practise vertue and go the way of Resignation but that they receaue in this life he
adhere to my God besides whom what is to me in heauen or what desire I on earth Only thy selfe my Lord is desired by me and only thou canst comfort and satisfy me It becometh me to become wholy subiect to thee so that for time and eternity thou maist dispose of me as it pleases thee which with my whole soul I beseech thee to do and then I â—hall be as happy as I desire to be Thou knowst that since I was taught what it was to loue thee I neuer durst wish or desire any thing For it appeareth plaine to me that my blindnes and ignorance is so great that euen in the desire of that which in it self is good I may be extreamly deceiued Only thy-selfe knoweth what is most to thy honour and best for me and therefor whatsoeuer thou dost shall be best welcome to me I desire no liberty to choose any thing besides thee because it suffiseth me if thou wilt become all in all and aboue all to me which desire I know is pleasing to thee and therefor I beseech thee inlardg my hart and soulin this longing and sighing after thee my only beloued Lett my hart be free to thee For none deserues any part therein besids thee O how great a greif would it be to me if any câ—â—ated thing should be an impediment to my being wholy thine Verily if I should find that my will were false to thee by desiring any thing but thee nothing in heauen or earth could comfort me while thus it stood between my hart and thee Giue me therefor grace to be faithfull to thee who hath shewed such an infinit mercy towards me as to lett me know of the way of Loue whereby all Crosses become tolerable to me Neuer shall I be satisfied with blessing thee and thanking thee for this thy Mercy All that loue thee praise thee for me who am not worthy to name thee Verily if I be now vngratfull to thee it is pitty thy earth should beare me Yet thou knowst my extreame frailty and therefor in all haue mercy on me and in the end saue me who putt all my hope in thee What shall I render for this thy infinit benefit bestowed on me Verily if I should be despised by all the world as I iustly deserue to be and should haue and feele the paines of all that euer haue suffered for thee and should be shutt vp in a place which were only big inough to containe me and were as vnworthy of them as indeed I beleiue and acknowledg my selfe to be debarred of the Sacraments by which such grace to soules is so abouÌ„dantly imparted by thee and were held for a reprobate by all that are most esteemed and respected by me yet this were little to endure in requitall of this benefit which I haue heere recounted before thee and which I read with so much ioy that it is a solace to me in those difficulties which are only known to thee and which would if I were not exceedingly holpen by thee quite ouerwhelme me for as it is well known to thee they do oftentimes make all my strength decay so that I seem to be left without so much as is sufficient to go euen about the house But when I haue been thus dealt with by thee I haue been withall enabled more feruently to praise thee And thy intention by it was apparant to me For by it thou didst so abate pride that was most strong in me that all I could haue done or deuised or all other creatures with me could not so much in many yeares haue humbled me and haue bread such a contempt in my soul of resting or taking delight in any thing which was lesse then thee Thus my God thou dealest with me who as I haue often said am not worthy to name thy Maiesty and I see if we will but giue our selues wholy to the seeking after thee and dispose our selues to suffer whatsoeuer it shall please thee we shall not need to take care for any thing but how to please and praise thee For thou willt prouide Crosses such and so much as will be sufficient to make vâ— becom that thou wouldst â—aue vs to be and in those of thy sending there is no danger if we will endeauour to be faithfull to thee and in them call often vpon thee But when we place such perfection in suffering that we think we do nothing vnlesse we be in matters of suffring and are as it were loath to loose time as we think we do by being without occasion of suffering we oftentimes faile in those Crosses which â—e in such an humor do lay vpon our selues or thrust our selues into without thy leaue and disable vs from vndergoing and suffering those which then or afterwards are by thee thought to be fitter for vs and we seeing our selues to faile in these of our own vndertaking which we made our selues sure to be able to stand vnto grow to be deiected yea sometimes euen so farr as to mistrust all the course we had held before For we remembring we endured greater matters before being of Gods sending and through his grace presumed now allso of that strength which then we had which was not as we conceiued ours but our Lords who rewardeth no works but his owne If we will therefor in all liue secure lett vs desire nothing no not euen to haue matter of suffering saue so farr as it shall be his pleasure For certainâ—ly to suffer for him is so great an honour that one may iustly esteem herself vnworthy thereof and yet it is a thing so necessary to aduance vs in the way of Loue that we need not doubt but God will prouide it when he sees it fitt and when he doth send it come it which way it will it will be no impediment to a faithfull soule but her only way in this as well as all other things for to liue secure is to be as a little child by humble Resignation and lett God do with vs in all what he will For only by this meanes we can liue in Peace auoid the snares of selfe loue and the diuell For a soul that is apt to esteem greatly of a little suffering and thinketh when she hath in it a slight occasion that it layeth open the way to great matters between God and her soul God vseth to lead her by another way till she see and acknowledge her errour and many times she falleth into sinn and imperfection by her greedines to aduance her soul by vntimely suffering which at last maketh her cry out to thee O Lord how great is my blindnes and frailty help me therefor my God in all these miseries which heere thy sinnefull seruant speaketh of as a guilty person to thee Great great is my folly and frailty and therefor for help and strength I fly vnto thee spare my soul sinning before thee and lett me now begin to loue only thee help me in all my Lord
And yet thy Goodnes compelled me to enter O who wil giue me power and ability sufficiently to extol thy most a boundant Mercy which in this and al other things thy sweet Goodnes hath shewed towards me Blessed infinitly be my Lord by al his creatures My only study shal be to praise thee and my only desir that I may be faithful in al crosses and miseries to thee my only beloued Let thy Grace flow I beseech thee vpon thy seruant who with so much care paines and solicitud for thy sake endeauoured to win my hart wholy to thee Remember him vnto good according to al he hath done for me He hath truly made me to see and feel though through my great fault and ignoraÌ„ce I before thought otherwise that thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light which now I shal alâ—o being conuinced by experience acknowledge before heauen and earth to thine honour and my confusion who durst presume to think otherwise Pardon I beseech thee therefor for thinâ— own sake this my sinne among the rest which are innumerable and let me heerafter be a true seruant and child of thine â—ho be blessed by al for euer and euer Amen THE XXXVIII CONFESSION SEmper gaudete sine intermissione orate Always reioyce Pray without ceasing O my Lord and my God They that truly loue thee may indeed iustly always rejoyce and without intermission praise thee But I that daily and â—owrly offend thy diuino Maiesty ought to weep and lament my sins bitterly sitting solitary and making my moane to thee my God who art only able to help and comfort me in this misery O when shal I become truly humble Teach me Humility Obedience and Patience enlighten my soul obscured by my pride and other sins that I may loue thy Law and humbly embrace thy blessed wil in al things O let me be truly subiect to thee as thou wouldst haue me and euen to al others alsoâ— as it is exacted by thee of me Wo be to my soul if daily it become not more and more obedient ro tâ—ee and to others for thee Giue me true Discretion For no vertue hath more of vertue in it then it partaketh oâ— this diuine vertue Giue me true Wisedom which maketh souls so pleasing to thee and which thou impartest to the humble and those that serue thee for loue and that seek thee aboue al gifts and created things whatsoeuer O loue loue flow into my soul that I may sigh and pant after my God alone and praise this my beloued for al eternity Amen THE XXXIX CONFESSION O Deus meus quis similis tibi O my God who is like to thee Who wil giue mâ— that wiâ—hout ceasingâ— may adhere to thee and with an amourous aspect regard thee in al things not seeking my-self nor the pleasing of any creature for it self in any thing I do or omit Desolatione desolata est omnis terra quia nullus est qui recogiter corde With desolation al the land is made desolate Because there is none who considereth in the hart O my God what wonder is it that we liue in blindnes if we come not to thee who art the only true ligâ—t What do we with souls and harts capable of loue if we do not by them aspire to thee with al our strength and adhere to thee the only true and perfect good What is sweet what is to be desired but thee my Lord who art beawty it self What couldst thou do more then make out souls to thine own image and liknes and able â—o be satisfied with nothing but thy self O misery of al miseries the greatest that thou shouldst be offended and forgotten by vs and that any thing should posses our souls besids thy loue which only can make vs happy and pleasing in thine eyes Wo is me who haue straied from the fountain of liuing water by which my â—oul is dryed vp and euen withereth away in thirst after transitory things Change this my thirst by thyâ—weet â—weet grace and Mercy to a thirsting after thee my God the glory of my hart and the peace and comfort of my soul. O let me loue or not liue and let me in al by al and aboue al praise thee who art bleâ—sed for al eternity Amen THE XL. CONFESSION MY soul blesse thou our Lord and al things within me his holy name Al spirits praise my God for euer and euer magnify him I wil declare to thee my God in al things how it stands with me that I may hope and be strengthened in and by thee I wil beg what is neceâ—sary for me to please and serue thee For what canst thou deny to them who haue no hope or comfort but only in thee He who giueth himself giueth al and when thou deniest what we ask it is that thou mayst giue tâ—â— own self more fully to vs thy poor seruants and that impediments may be the more truly remoued between our souls and thee Simplify my soul that it may return to thee adorn me with â—â—ine own merits that I may not appeare naked of good befâ—re thee and supply my defect in praising and louâ—ng thee To thee my God al my interior powers shal aspire day and night without ceasing Let me draw no breath but therby to sigh and pant after thee the liuing fountain Let al actions which by Obedience or necessity be imposed on me be vndertaken and done by me with an inâ—erior regard of thee that I may truly in them obey and seek thee the most amiable beloued of my hart and soul let them be as a cessation or pausing for the time that I may afterward with the more force and sauour at times conuenient attend to thee in the bottom of my soul and therein praise thee Amen THE XLI CONFESSION COme al ye that haue vowed your bodies and souls to our Lord Come let vs loue Let vs giue al not only once but euery moment to him that made vs to bestow on vs himself Let vs not only loue but be wholy transformed into the â—iuine loue Let vs liue to him â—lone leauing al others for his sake only Let vs charitably interpret the words and deeds of those with whom we liue and if any faâ—l in that which he ought to perform giue vs grace my God to remembeâ— how weak human nature is for good and how great is our frailty as to a sin and how soon we also if thou didst not protect vs might fail in a more shameful maner O my God thou hast commaunded vs to loue our neighbour as our self and behold we either loue them inordinatly to our impediment of louing thee or els we are short towards them of â—rue Charity From both these errours deliuer the soul of thy poor seruant and grant me to loue al as tâ—ou wouldst haue me Let no difficulties they cause to me make me in them the less to behold and consider thee Verily if there were no other reward to be