to sweeten all and carry me patiently through the remaining part of my Days and Trials Be with me when I pass through the Fire and through the Water for my Eyes are unto thee O Lord my God in thee is my Trust leave not my Soul destitute PAPER III. YE will not come unto me that ye may have Life O the Stupidity of poor careless and secure Sinners What will you not come to Christ who alone can give you Life Natural Life and Spiritual Life and Life Eternal We spare no Pains nor Cost to save the Life of the Body but O what Fools what sensless and sottish Creatures are we not to provide for Eternal Life What is this momentary Life given us for but to provide for our Departure hence to labour to get an Interest in God and Christ Our Time was given us that we might have an Opportunity of working out our Salvation with Fear and Trembling and that we may make our Calling and Election sure that we may get some comfortable Hopes that we do belong to the Election of Grace O get your Title to Heaven cleared that you are born again that your Sins are pardoned that your Person is justified and that you are truly sanctified and cleansed from all wilful Filthiness of the Flesh and Spirit Don't indulge your self in any known Sin not in omitting any known Duty nor in the Commission of any known Sin The least Sin without Repentance is damnable but the greatest Sin upon true Repentance is pardonable for the Blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all Sins even those that are of a Crimson Die If our Sins be as Scarlet God can make them as white as Snow if we do but truly repent of them and forsake them Let not that Complaint of the Prophet Hos. 5. 4. be verified in you that you will not frame your Doings to turn unto the Lord. What will you not do what in you lies to frame your Doing to please the Lord What will you not avoid some petty Sins that do highly offend your good God and may cause him to hide his Face from you Thus saith the Lord Seek ye me and ye shall live But may not our Conscience condemn us and tell us that that precious Time that our good God hath given us to seek him and to be reconciled to him and to make our Peace with him even that Time hath been spent in Sin and very Vanity in adding Iniquity to Iniquity We are commanded to keep our selves in the Love of God looking for the Mercy of our Lord Iesus Christ unto Eternal Life It is to no purpose to expect Mercy from Christ or to hope for Eternal Life if we do not what we can to keep our selves in the Love of God O then let it be your Study Day and Night to approve your selves to the Lord chearfully obey his Commands patiently submit to Afflictions thankfully receive Mercies and make a holy Improvement of them look to your selves that you lose not those things which ye have wrought but that ye receive a full Reward Allow not your selves in any Sin though never so small in your own Eyes lest God should say as unto the Church of Ephesus Though thou hast made a Profession of my Name and hast made conscience of some gross Sins nevertheless I have somewhat against thee because thou hast left thy first Love Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen and repent or else I will come unto thee quickly and will remove thy Candlestick out of his Place except thou repent If our Love to God and his Ordinances be not as fervent as formerly if our Hatred of Sin or sinful Courses be lessened if our Care to please God and our Fear to offend him be less than heretofore we have just Reason to fear that God will deprive us of our forfeited Gospel or harden our Hearts that we shall not profit by it which dreadful Judgment O Lord in Mercy prevent If our outward Carriage before Men should seem never so well nay if we can approve our selves to our own Consciences in many respects yet the All-searching God may truly say not only that he hath a few things against us but many things against us therefore it is our Wisdom to search and try our selves and turn again to the Lord from whom we have too deeply revolted PAPER IV. GOD hath been pleased to deprive me of my dear Husband so that my Care ought to be doubled in the Education of my poor Children when I must discharge his part and my own Duty too I know not how soon God may call me out of this World I have frequent Warnings of my Mortality by the Death of others and my own often Indisposition My Children are now young and therefore what I say may not make due Impressions on them by reason of their tender Age and when I come to die I know not whether I shall have Time Opportunity or my Senses then to speak to them of the things that belong to their everlasting Peace for ought I know I then may be seized as often I have been with Convulsion-fits which may soon carry my Soul out of this into an endless Life so that I may not have any leisure to counsel instruct or charge them to take care of their dear precious and immortal Souls therefore I shall leave my Charge and Commands in Writing that they may often take a View of them as being the Commands of their dying Mother Dear Children I charge you as you hope to meet me with Comfort at the Day of Judgment that you avoid all Sins as Lying Swearing taking God's Holy Name in vain which I particularly mention as incident to your Age I charge you make Conscience of keeping the Sabbath-Day holy Do not think your own Thoughts nor speak your own Words nor do your own Actions remember it is God's Day and must be spent in his Service Before you go to Church bless God for the Mercies of the Night past for giving you leave to see the Light of another Day especially another Sabbath-Day wherein you may have an Opportunity of waiting upon God and getting good to your poor Souls When you are in the solemn Assemblies of God's People let your Carriage be grave serious and awful as remembring God sees you and let your Minds be attentive to what the Minister saith Hear so that your Souls may live Be not forgetful Hearers but be ye Doers of the Word and so shall ye be blessed in all that you do Do not spend any time in idle Recreation or walking in the Fields upon the Lord's Day for the Profanation of that Day is an Inlet to many other Sins My dear Children spend some time every Day in reading God's Word and in Prayer you know not what a Blessing it is to have the Bible therefore do not slight it but make a good Use of it Do not squander away your Time in reading Plays and
Duty And indeed private Prayer conscientiously and constantly performed is a notable Sign of a gracious Heart for I think an Hypocrite can rarely be constant and uniform in this Duty for that of Iob may be very applicable to this Will he delight himself in the Almighty will he always call upon God I neither do nor dare I censure all those that make such a Bustle about their Ten and Three a Clock Devotions I hope and believe that many serious and godly Christians may in all Sincerity perform them but I think as they are now ordered they come not so near that Command of our Saviour When thou prayest enter into thy Closet Besides there 's too much Ground to fear they shut out both Private and Family-Prayer too in many Places and it 's too too common a Practice in this City to go from the Temple to the Play-house from the House of God to the House of Belial It 's very observable that such as are most zealous this way accompanied with the Neglect of Family and Private Prayer are generally very loose and irregular in their Conversation As to her Deportment under Afflictions which she was exercised withal both spiritual and temporal for God chastens every Son whom he receives it was accompanied with great Humility and Self-judging often expressing her Unworthiness of the least of the Mercies that God vouchsafed to her She was far from a querulous or murmuring Temper endeavouring after a humble submissive Frame of Spirit and under these Afflictions that sometimes did greatly depress her sweet and tender Spirit she would frequently express how much Comfort and Reviving she received from God's Holy Word and not only under her Troubles but also when freed from them in the most quiet and sedate Frame of Spirit She would bless God that this Life would not last always She had frequent Illness and was once thought by her Friends past Recovery but when restored again though thankful to God for his Favour to her she did seem to bewail her Infelicity I thought said she that I was going off the Stage of this evil World to the Place where I should sin and sorrow no more but I now see I must again be toss'd on the Waves and Billows thereof When it was told her that according to the Course of Nature she might yet live thirty or forty Years this was so far from pleasing her that Nature that usually abhors the Thought of Death did as it were shrink and recoil within her to think of being so long kept out of Heaven Under her last Ilness being with Child in which there were some more than ordinary Symptoms of her Danger at which she was not at all dismayed but said As to Application of Means I am willing to submit to any thing for the Satisfaction of my Friends but as for my self I am content without any This cutting Expression she utter'd to her dear Husband with great Chearfulness She was so far from desiring to live that she much rather desired to be dissolved and to be with Christ. The Night before she died she had spent some time in secret and read one of Dr. Manton's Sermons but such was her humble and self-condemning Temper that she to her very last bewail'd her not Improvement of her last Days Mercies as she thought she ought Her Death was very surprizing to her Friends though not to her self She always believed her approaching Change was near though her Friends had some Hopes of her Recovery till by a sudden and surprizing Stroke they found her Desire accomplished and her Words true to their astonishing Grief and Trouble She died the 9th of November 1693. in the 38th Year of her Age. No more shall be here mentioned of her but refer you to the Perusal of some few amongst many of her Manuscripts in which you will perceive a Vein of Vertue and Piety running through all the Course of her Conversation an humble Avouchment of God to be her Portion and a thankful recounting of God's Mercy to her from her very Infancy her tender Regard to the Souls of her dear Children her humble and submissive Temper under her Afflictions her earnest Perswasion to others and her self to work the Work that God has given them to do with a Sense of the Sins and Judgments deserved and expected on the Nation her awful Sense of the Day of Death and Judgment with the happy State of glorified Souls with her Fear and Hopes in relation to these A Pindarique Ode to the ever glorious Memory of my honoured Aunt Mrs. Ann Terry who put on her Immortal Robes and Incorruptible Crown March the 16th 1689. in the 36th Year of her Age. Stat sua cuique dies Breve irreparabile tempus Omnibus est Vitae sed famam extendere factis Hoc Virtutis opus Virgil. Stanza I. MY melancholy Muse so ost imploy'd On the ungrateful Themes of Death Hop'd now a Vacancy to have injoy'd And for a while t' suspend her mournful Breath But lo a recent Scene of Grief appears Ponderous overwhelming Grief Without Allay without Relief Too great to be express'd by any Poets Tears For who amongst the Sons of Harmony Can give due Praises unto thee Or can sufficiently deplore The Loss of such in vulgar Excellence As took its Flight in thee from hence And will perhaps bless the unworthy World no more II. Ah! how unequally does Heaven bestow Its Favours on poor Mortals here below Sometimes it suffers us to be O'recharg'd with surfeiting Felicity Grown big with Ioy we think our selves secure Of the much-wish'd-for Blessing but alas We little know how soon from us 't will pass A sudden Metamorphosis Deprives us of our charming Bliss Bliss too Soul-ravishing long to endure Else had we not been summoned now by Fate With overflowing Eyes To sing thy much too early Obsequies And Godlike Vertues to commemorate III. From the Illustrious Manton sprung Too great a Theme for my mean Song And fit alone for his who David's glorious Actions so di In whom the Graces all conspir'd vinely sung To render him belov'd admir'd Who firmly has enroll'd his Name In the most durable Records of Fame Who with such wondrous Art conjoins Solidity and Sweetness in his Lines Great by thy Birth yet greater by thy Merit Thou didst more of his Worth than Wealth inherit Such was thy generous Stâ—â—k Nor didst thou any Lustre thence derive Thou didst not back again wich greater Intâ—rest give IV. Thy Spring with Beauties did abound With them thy riper Years were crown'd Thou all Perfections hadst and more Than any of thy Sex before The Composition of thy Heavenly Mind In which Iudgment Fancy and Wit Did every one enthroned sit Was fraâ—'d to Vertue and from Vice refin'd A kinder Wife no Husband e're cou'd boast A more indulgent Mother never Children lost Tender thou wast to an Hyperbole To all thou knew'st in Misery So very ready to relieve They scarce could ask faster than
while Stop Floods in their full Career and they rage and swell When the Death of a near Friend hath opened the Sluces let the Waters play a little in the Channel till it be calmer Passions spend and tire themselves in their Exercise Grief is sometimes eased by the Expression of it There is Reason too for it if that of Cardan be true that an heavy Heart is eased by nothing so much as by Sighs and Tears because Tears empty the Head of some Vapours with which it is surcharged and Sighs lighten the Heart of some fuliginous Damps that oppress it These are Nature's Offers for Ease You see the Reasons 2. What Grief and Sorrow this is that God alloweth and approveth What is sinful Grief I shall shew you in the next Point here what is lawful and required I answer Not every Sorrow For there is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as well as 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a godly Sorrow and a worldly Sorrow 2 Cor. 7. 10. Godly Sorrow worketh Repentance to Salvation not to be repented of but the Sorrow of the World worketh Death In the general it must be a godly Sorrow In these Respects 1. You must see somewhat of God in the Affliction It is a Motive this on both Hands both to Sensibleness and Patience that it is from God Heb. 12. 5. My Son despise not thou the Chastening of the Lord because it is from God A Man slights every ordinary Chance but when it is from God then it worketh more effectual upon the Spirit As we see in the case of the Philistines 1 Sam. 6. 9. If that Stroke that happened upon them were a Chance they would trouble themselves no further about it but if it were from the God of Israel they would advise about sending home the Ark. 2. It must be serviceable Sorrow to set you the nearer to God Sorrow is of the Nature of those things that are required not for themselves but 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for some farther thing You must not rest in your Sorrow but make use of it that it may work kindly employ it about the Work of the Sanctuary Do not cherish your Affections for their own sakes but so as they may be helpful to the Soul Do not go about to still the Affection to think that 's all that is required let it do the Soul Service and be glad you have your Hearts under such an Advantage You know how Ioshua served the Gibeonites he did not slay them but condemned them to be Hewers of Wood and Drawers of Water for the Sanctuary Grief and Sorrow well managed will make a good Drawer of Water for the Sanctuary Make your Sorrow your Servant now to draw Water for you to make you smart and bleed for a good Use and Purpose There is a gracious Promise to them that sow in Tears Psal. 126. 5. They that sow in Tears shall reap in Ioy. Now we are in Tears but we do not sow Tears Tears are not Seed we have not the Crop But what shall we do to make them Seed spiritualize them make them spiritual Tears let the Water run in a holy Channel and then like the Waters of the Sanctuary they will be healing Waters The Death of a Friend though never so dear to us will never cause any but carnal Tears they minister a good occasion of Mourning but they do not minister a Cause and Ground of Mourning It is good to distinguish between the Cause and the Occasion At such a time God calleth for more than ordinary Sensibleness and Sorrow but not because he hath declared his Pleasure concerning our Friends that is Murmuring not Mourning We should take this occasion indeed but our Sorrow should work upon a spiritual Ground and Object 1st We should take this Occasion to mourn for our own Sins Miseries are but the Effects of Sin You should labour to make Sin bitter by your present Feeling There should be I say a special renewing of our Repentance by such Providences Experience teacheth best Now you see what Sorrow Sin bringeth If Men would but improve their Occasions of Sorrow thus their Hearts would be more keen against Sin It is a great Argument to make Men continue in a Course when it never proveth Evil to them Therefore God challengeth them Ier. 2. 5. What Iniquity have you found in me that you depart from me Just as a Martyr said I have served Jesus Christ thus many Years and should I deny him now But if Men would thus observe these Experiences Sin cannot make this Challenge We can say of Sin Thou hast killed my Husband or Wife at such a time my Daughter my Brother at such a time c. Consider and say Have not I provoked God to remove the Comfort of a Parent or near Relation from me It is said of Gideon Iudg. 8. 16. that with Briars and Thorns he taught the Men of Succoth So God many times teaches us 2dly We should take this Occasion to weep for the publick Abominations When Polus the Tragedian was to act a mournful Part he brought in the Urn or the Pot of Ashes of his own dead Son that drew real Tears from him We are all to act a mournful Part now even to mourn for our Abominations before the Lord. It may be your Grief is flat and low awaken it by these private Instances But take heed let it not stay there this is but to give the Occasion some other thing must be the Cause and the Object of it O pour out a little Water upon the publick Sins they are Sparks that we have kindled as the Prophet speaks Isa. 50. 11. Behold all ye that kindle a Fire and compass your selves about with Sparks It is meant of Sins not as it is wrongly expounded of walking in our own Duties Well pour out this Water upon these Sparks When a Town is on Fire every one will bring his Bucket Why when the whole Kingdom is compassed about with these Sparks God giveth you these private Occasions that you may bring your Bucket to quench the common Flame So Luke 23. 28. Weep not for me but weep for your selves and for your Children Alas who could choose but shed Tears to part with such a blessed Companion as our Saviour Yet not for me saith he but for the Survivors Weep for your Sins and Calamities that are coming upon you Let such an Occasion open the Flood-gates but then cut out a Passage for them that they may run this way 3dly For the publick Miseries Private Sorrows should be swallowed up in the publick Look as private Mercies are no Mercies unless it be well with Sion and therefore it is annexed as a special Blessing Psal. 128. 6. that they should see their Childrens Children and Peace upon Israel Descensive Love is strong always but in these times more strong because every one expected the Messiah to come of his Race but that is nothing without Peace upon Israel it is not a consummate Mercy
Interest in thy Son my only Saviour and Redeemer and do thou graciously give thy Holy Spirit to direct guide quicken counsel and comfort me the remaining part of my sojourning here How few Days may put a Period to my Life I know not In all probability it will not be long before I leave the Stage of this World and be summoned before the Bar of God to give a strict and impartial Account of my past Life O it is an awful thing to die and come to Judgment I beg O Lord I beg that I may be made meet for the Inheritance of the Saints in Light Sanctify me wholly let my whole Spirit Soul and Body be preserved blameless unto the Coming of my Lord Jesus Christ. O be thou pleased to preserve me unto thy Heavenly Kingdom Many Fears and much Ground for Fears have I that I shall never enter into Rest But blessed Lord do not exclude me from thy comfortable Presence hereafter Do thou make me fit to be a Member of those blessed Inhabitants of the New Ierusalem Though I am altogether unworthy yet if thou O Lord please to account me worthy I may then be so happy as to stand before the Son of Man with Courage and Comfort Keep thou me by thy Almighty Power through Faith unto Salvation Let me be preserved from fainting sinking and desponding in my last Conflicts and Agonies Let me see thee who art invisible and with an Eye of Faith look within the Vail whence I look for the Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ to change this vile Body of mine that it may be fashioned like to his glorious Body Let this Saviour be my Saviour and Redeemer even the Lord Jesus Christ and let me be assured that he is mine and I am indeed his and that this vile contemptible wretched Body shall be changed and made like to his glorious and blessed Body This is such an Honour and Privilege that I have hardly a Face to ask But I find a Warrant in thy Word to look long expect pant and wait for so happy a Day and Time as to be in a sinless State and Condition where we shall see our Saviour and be like him where earthly Troubles and Sorrows shall vanish and decay where the World the Flesh and the Devil shall have no Power to tempt molest or disturb those that thou O Lord God Almighty shalt admit into thy Heavenly Kingdom and Glory O blessed Souls that are here owned by thee approved by thee and shall at last be received by thee into those Eternal Mansions above Lord I humbly put in for a Share in these inestimable Mercies and Privileges Earthly things cannot content me without some Hopes some Prospect some Glimpse of thy Love and Favour If thou afford me this I may then bear the Inconveniencies the Hardships and ill Usage I meet with here in this howling Desart Let not my Unworthiness be a Bar and Hindrance to hinder good things from me Look not on me as in my self a vile polluted wretched undone Creature but behold me in and through thy well-beloved Son and for his sake alone be gracious and merciful to me I have been guilty of black and horrid Sins and Millions of Sins have I been committing daily without Sense Sorrow or Remorse O may such a Sinner as I find Mercy Lord I sometimes doubt and despair and conclude there is no Hopes for me I fear Heaven-Gate is shut against me and though I cry and knock it may all be in vain Lord I cannot bear such a Thought as to think I am rejected forsaken and cast off by thee I e'n cry out with the Jailor What shall I do to be saved What shall I do to obtain Eternal Life I find many comfortable Promises in thy Word to repenting and returning Sinners that those that come to thee thou wilt in no wise cast out and that the Blood of Jesus Christ thy Son cleanseth from all Sins Lord I desire to come to thee and come in a right manner and humbly beg thou wilt not cast me out nor cast me off as one whom thou no more canst love Let me have the Benefit of that healing cleansing Peace-speaking Blood of the Lamb of God which taketh away the Sins of the World I find in thy Word a black Catalogue of Sins and Sinners too who have been guilty of gross Offences whose Crimes would certainly exclude them Heaven unless thy unlimited Mercy and Compassion had inclined thee to look with Pity on them When the Apostle had mentioned those foul and horrid Sins that should deprive poor Souls of the Joys of Heaven he immediately for the Benefit of After-Ages and the Comfort of desponding Souls adds But such were some of you but ye are washed but ye are sanctified but ye are justified in the Name of the Lord Iesus and by the Spirit of our God Lord thou alone knowest what numberless Numbers of Sins I am guilty of and for which e're long I shall be summoned to give a strict and severe Account Lord I have nothing to plead for my self why I should not be condemned but I humbly cast my self at the Throne of thy Grace and implore Mercy Mercy Lord Mercy I need without this I cannot live comfortably nor die safely O let me even me be washed let me be sanctified let me be justified in the Name of the Lord Jesus let me be a Partaker of the Benefits of his Death Resurrection Ascension and Intercession and let me be assured I am one of those that shall live and reign with him World without end In my sorest Distresses and last Agonies and Conflicts let me see thee a God in Covenant and reconciled to me Let not my Evidences for Heaven be then to get When I come to die let me have nothing to do but to die and surrender up my Soul into the Hands of that God who gave it me Let not the Foresight or Prospect of Death be so terrifying as to overwhelm me and cause me to fall from thee Be with me when I pass through the dark and dismal Passage of Death When Flesh Heart and all Creature-Comforts fail and forsake me O Blessed Lord be thou the Strength of my Heart and my Portion for ever-more PAPER XI WORK while it is Day the Night is coming in which none can work Now is the Day of God's Patience and Forbearance this is the only time that God hath allotted for Work and Service He that doth the Work for which he came into the World faithfully and carefully shall in the Evening of the Day receive a bountiful Reward but if he neglects his Opportunity and squanders away his Time in Idleness and Sloth the Night will surprise him and then it will be too late to begin that Work which before he would not be perswaded to set about This Counsel is serious and grave every one hath Work to do O that all would be convinced of this great Truth we have Souls to