what holy motions and breathings what enlivening quickening and comforting influences of the Holy Spirit have I had how oft hath God supported my drooping and reviv'd my dying Spirits answered my doubts expell'd my fears and treated me as a Friend nay more as a Son how hath God in mercy restrained the Tempter or wisely ordered the Temptation as to the nature strength and continuance of it what succour and support what strength and assistance have I experienc'd at such a time and how oft through Grace have I been more than a Conquerour when I sinn'd and fell God did not cast me off banish me his family and null the former Relation but pittied me a faln Christian when he heard my groans and saw my penitential Tears his Bowels yearned he took me up and embraced me in the Arms of his Mercy wiped my weeping Eyes comforted my sorrowful Heart and said Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven Mat. 9. 2. thee Oh! the joy oh the unspeakable joy of that hour methinks I yet sensibly feel what lively and warm impressions those words made upon my Heart upon my Heart that the moment before was ready to sink and dye within me when I was covered with Tears Blushing and Shame when I lay sighing sobbing and groaning at his Foot-stool crying out in the bitterness of my Soul I have sinned I have sinned before I rose from my knees before I said Amen my God came and said I have pardoned I have pardoned and now go in peace For the mercy and kindness of that hour Lord I bless thee now When through the weakness of my Grace the strength of my Corruptions and the power of Temptation I have wandred and gone astray when my zeal has abated my affections been cooled when I have been remiss negligent and careless back-sliding and on the declining hand he sent some affliction or other to call me back to awaken warm quicken and recover me When I have loved the World too much and my God too little when my affection to Earth has been too warm and to Heaven too cold when duties have been neglected or performed without life vigour and zeal when I begun to be too Worldly Earthly and Sensual he suffered me to meet with disappointments took away part of my Estate snatcht away a bosom Friend a dear Relation filled my Body with pain shook me over the Grave and threatned to cast me into it and all this with a merciful design to reform and make me better And Lord I thank thee any afflictions have been sanctified to such an end that the voice of the Rod has been accompanied with that of thy Spirit and both were effectual to reclaim me that at any time I came out of the fire more refin'd and purg'd and that those Waters of Affliction washt away my filthiness Lord I can do and will bless thee for seasonable corrections and the discipline of thy Rod. So good and kind so liberal and bountiful so merciful and gracious hath God been to me I have had so much for Body and Soul for time and eternity that I am fill'd with wonder and must cry out Oh the heighth and depth length and breadth of the love of God! my mercies have been more than my moments and every single mercy deserves and calls for a Psalm of Praise Lord when I am dead and in a silent Grave I cannot praise thee and therefore now I will blessed be God I lived till I was born again that ever I heard of that sweet that blessed that charming name JESUS and that I was enabled to believe on him for all the Mercies I have had in this World and for the hope and prospect of more and better in the next Blessed be God for Pardoning Mercy Sanctifying Grace and the Blood of Jesus to wash and cleanse me a sinner Blessed be God for the supports and comforts I have in this sickness that Satan is restrain'd and my own corruptions curb'd Blessed be God I am made meet for Heaven and that I know I am Lord what Grace is thine how free and sovereign What love is thine how constant and matchless how sweet how exceeding sweet is the thought that God hath loved doth love me and will do so unto the End I 'll bless thee Lord while I live thank thee with my last Breath and O my God through Christ thy Son and my Saviour accept my dying praises Bless the Lord O my Soul bless the Lord for me O my Friends bless the Lord O ye his Holy Angels my single voice is not sufficient may every Tongue all breath praise his holy name Amen HALLELUJAH III. After Death cometh Judgment what an awakening Thought this is and ought to be How this Thought may and should be improv'd by us in our last Sickness particularly to put us upon Confession the exercise of Repentance and earnest Prayer to God for Pardoning Mercy SICKNESS Summons Men to die Death Summons them to Judgment May this Sickness be my last and do I suppose it will hearken O my Soul and thou may'st hear Deaths Voice Come unto the Bar come give an account of thy Self to God in the NAME of the ETERNAL GOD whose Servant and Messenger I am I cite thee O Man to make thine appearance before the Tribunal of thy Maker Sovereign and Judge in the other World Awful Tidings what awakening and startling words are these must I O my Soul quickly Dye and after that be judg'd go from my Death-bed to the Bar of an Infinitely Holy Just and Jealous God must my Life be examined all my Actions scanned and my everlasting state in that moment be determined must a Righteous and Irreversible Doom pass upon me must I Dye in one moment and in the next be Judg'd and shall not I search my ways examine my state take a survey of my Heart and Life before I pass to that final and irreversible Judgment and hold up these guilty hands of mine at God's Tribunal shall I not endeavour to know what has been amiss that I may confess be humbled for repent of it and beg pardon Lord help me a sick Lord for Jesus sake help me a dying man in this serious solemn work help me to find out my sins to repent and implore thy mercy through the Lord Jesus Christ who is my only hope in Life at Death and after Death I was born a sinner and came into the World guilty and polluted behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my Mother Psal 51. 5. conceive me As I am a Child of Apostate Adam dreadful thought I am unlike to the Holy and Blessed God and resemble the Devil the worst of Beings and had I no other sin this were enough to shame confound silence and condemn me But alas have I not found this original sin active in my Heart and fruitful in my Life with what force and violence has it hurried me to the commission of sin oh
what cursed streams has this bitter Fountain been sending forth how much how often and how greatly have I offended God! what one Commandment is there I have not broken in thought word or deed my sins are more than can be numbred and how many Legions of Lusts are quartered in my Heart oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Jer. 9. 1. Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night Did I not once O my Soul live as without God in the World how many and great were the sins of my unregenerate state what a sinner Lord what a vile sinner was I then were not all the faculties of my Soul and Members of my Body the Instruments of Unrighteousness unto sin Did not sin sit in the Throne sway the Scepter and had it not the entire quiet and peaceable possession of my Heart Was not I a willing Slave an obedient Servant and a Volunteer in any wicked service was I not at the beck of every Lust the will of every Temptation and did not Satan carry me captive at his pleasure during that wretched state how did I forget God and my self Eternity and another World thwart the design of my Creation and cross the end of my being made a Man Was I not sensual carnal and earthly a stranger to an Holy Heavenly Life without any delight in God desire after or care to please him did I not run into Sin as the Horse rushes into the Battle without any fear how long O my Soul how long was I a grief to that blessed Jesus who wept and swet bled groan'd and died for me how did I despise his Grace slight his Love his dying Love spurn at his Bowels and trample on his Blood with what sweet and endearing melting and charming language did he plead with me he called but I did not answer he pleaded but I was not moved his Bowels yearned but my Heart did not relent how oft did the Holy Spirit move and work upon my Heart and how oft did I resist vex quench and grieve him how oft was my Conscience awakened and how soon did it fall asleep again Holy Lord I blush I am ashamed and confounded to look back upon this part of my life I weep Lord I weep I desire to weep bitterly for the sins of my unconverted state I wish again Oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night How many and great have been my sins since my Conversion to and acquaintance with God How oft have I fallen to the dishonour of God the discredit of Religion the wounding of my self and grieving of others how many duties have been neglected and how many carelesly performed in a cold lazy and trifling manner how many of my Talents which might have been improved for the Glory of God my own comfort and the good of others have been wrapped up in a Napkin and buried in the Earth how weak is every Grace and how much evil is mixt with all my good how oft letting down my Spiritual Watch has Satan surpriz'd me and Temptation prevail'd how much have I conformed to the World complied with the sinful customs and fashions of it how much have I lived contrary to my Profession and below my hopes as a Christian what a slow progress have I made in the ways of Holiness how many younger Christians have out-stript got the start of and are gone before me nay have I not shamefully declin'd and backsliden and lost much of my first love zeal and tenderness how frequent and strong have been the workings of Spiritual Sins as unbelief pride passion envy and uncharitableness c. Lord how many have been the sins of this state and how are they aggravated by all that love and mercy thou hast shewn to me and the long experience I have had of thy bounty and goodness Art thou my God and have I affronted my Father and have I displeased thee have I by these sins wounded that Redeemer who died for me grieved that Holy Spirit who has comforted me ah sinful silly Soul what hast thou been doing what an hearty sorrow and unfeigned grief do these sins call for I mourn Lord help me to mourn more thou hast given me the habit of Repentance give me now in this evening of my Life to act and exercise it Oh for a broken Heart and a contrite Spirit oh for inward shame and hearty remorse oh for a melting frame and a bleeding Soul oh that this Rock might be broken and this Heart be turned more and more into an Heart of flesh My time is short my strength little my sins many and great Lord help me to live repenting and die repenting to go to my grave weeping Weeping not tears of despair but tears of Gospel-sorrow which make way for eternal joys I do repent Lord from the bottom of my Soul I do repent let my last repentance be most solemn particular and serious and do thou accept it wash me in these penitential waters and because these muddy waters can't cleanse wash me Lord wash me in the blood of Jesus for that can cleanse from all sin O pardon pardon a dying penitent who confesses and acknowledges his sins and flies to thy mercy through the merits of Christ My sins are gone over mine head as a burden Psal 38. 4. they are too heavy for me Sin is an heavy burden and intollerable but most of all so to a dying man Look upon mine Psal 25. 18. affliction and forgive all my sins If I must weep with one eye Lord let me read my pardon with the other I have deserved Hell and if God should cast me into it I have forfeited Heaven and if God should eternally banish me from that blessed place I must say Righteous art thou O Lord and upright Ps 110. 137. is thy Judgment But save me from the one and bring me to the other for thy mercies sake I find it is written He that Pro. 28. 13. confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall find mercy And again if we confess our sins he is 1 John 1. 9. faithful and just to forgive us our sins This I have done this I will do and shall I not obtain mercy I am ashamed and confounded I loath and abhor my self I repent in dust and ashes I wish I had never done as I have were I to live over my life again Divine grace assisting these Errata's should be corrected I do repent and will not God pardon I do heartily mourn and will not God forgive Oh for a pardon for Jesus sake mercy mercy Lord mercy for a dying sinner who comes unto thee according to the tenor of the Gospel The thing I ask is great and I sinful I wretched I am altogether unworthy but Christ is worthy Lord lo here is the blood which bought my pardon and it has been and is now crying in thine ears with a loud voice Lord
be unthankful for the mercies of many For the mercies of my whole life Oh how evil and criminal would this be my flesh is pain'd my affliction great my sick-bed uneasie and the hand of God presseth me sore my tears and sorrows my innocent groans which I hope are only the voice of oppressed nature pierce the hearts and draw tears from the eyes of my dear Relations but yet O my Soul I charge thee by all that is solemn and sacred let there not be a murmuring thought a repining word or any peevish carriage Remember remember the days of Old the mercies of former times and be thankful Thy God hath been good is and will be so and be thou ALL LOVE and PRAISE Was it not God who form'd and fashion'd me in the Womb and brought me forth into the light with an entire and perfect body Were not all my members Ps 139. 16. written in his book and did not he watch over my substance while it was yet imperfect and did not he take care I should not be be born out of due time Was it not 1 Cor. 15. 8. he who appointed when where and of whom I should be born and did not he order all the circumstances of my birth in the best manner When I was a poor helpless infant when I hung on my Mothers breast and lay in my cradle did not he take the care of me Did not his providence watch over me in my Childhood and prevent many unknown and unseen dangers Did noâ— he in my youth keep me from the many evils which in that ungoverned age I was exposed to and might have brought upon my self Has not his careful eye been upon me from my first moments even until now how pretious are thy thoughts unto me O Ps 139 17. God! How great is the sum of them Was it not of God I had the happiness to be born of Religious Parents who set before me a good example wept over and prayed for me That I had seasonable instructions wholsome counsels and the benefit of a vertuous education in my first and early years Was it not he that restrained and with-held me from those sins and lusts which many are overtaken withal and I my self was in danger of in that age of folly and vanity Hath not he fed and cloathed provided for and defended me Been my refuge in a storm my sanctuary in a time of danger my deliverer in an evil day and my Physitian in sickness How oft hath he brought me out of the fiery furnace raised me from a sick bed renewed my strength and saved me from going down to the pit when in my own and others apprehension I was at the mouth of and ready to drop into it hath not he supplied my wants increased my substance blest my endeavours and given me a considerable portion of this Worlds goods Is it not of him I have Friends and Relations to be a comfort to me while others have none or such as are worse than none even a cross and a scourge to them Hath not his Arm upheld his power defended his mercy succoured his bounty supplyed his treasuries enricht me Hath not his providence been ever watchful over me and his holy Angels my constant and perpetual life-guard When in my affliction and pain I have cryed to him hath he not heard my groans regarded my tears answered my prayers in the fittest season and best manner eased or supported me removed my burden or given me strength and so ordered the affliction from first to last that I have been forc't to say Lord it is good for me I have been afflicted Psal 119. â—1 I have not only had the mercies of the left hand but those of the right not only temporal but Spiritual not only for a perishing body but more and greater for an immortal Soul Thanks be to God that he quickened and raised me when I was dead in Trespasses and Sins Eph. 2. 1. that he brought me to hear his Holy word and made it effectual for my conviction and conversion that the same word which was to others the savour of Death unto Death to me was the savour 2 Cor. 2. 16. of Life to Life That the same Word the same Blessed Gospel which blinded them enlightned me which left them in their sins and under the power of Satan brought me home to God for this thy special grace and mercy to my Soul Lord I do I will and hope I shall for ever bless thee Who or what am I What have I done or what can I do That I should be chosen and effectually called when others are not Lord Why didst thou call and convert me and not another me and not my Neighbour me and not him who sate in the same pew heard the same Sermon and for many years attended upon the same ministry Free grace distinguishing mercy differencing love Am I converted changed sanctified and pardon'd Lord I do I will admire and adore thy powerful and victorious grace Awake O my Soul awake prepare a song Oh love and bless and praise thy God I was an Apostate wretch a stubborn enemy a disloyal Rebel and it was a long time before I would lay down my weapons return to my duty and yield patience waited mercy invited ministers exhorted the Spirit pleaded conscience urged God expostulated with yearning bowels the Blessed Jesus called to me from Heaven and beseeched me by his wounds and tears blood-shed passion and death to be reconciled to God but I vile wretch that I was did not hear How many reproofs and counsels warnings and exhortations earnest pleadings and pathetick Sermons were lost upon me And blessed be God all were not that one did the work Did God convert me after many Sabbaths enjoyed and many Sermons heard in vain Infinite kindness Lord I bow and worship before thee and with all the powers of my immortal Spirit bless and praise thee Was it not God pityed me when I did not pity my self Who called after and stopt me when I was running head-long to Hell Who loosed my chains broke my bonds knockt off my setters and brought me out of the House of bondage Was it not he who with a mighty power and stretched-out arm delivered and rescued me when sin ruled and govern'd and Satan led me in triumph as his vassal and captive And shall not I though a sick and pained man adore and bless him Bless him I do I will Bless the Lord O my Soul Ps 103. 2. And all that is withim me bless his Holy Name Since my Conversion and becoming a new man since God took me into his family adopted and made me his Son how much and what great things have been done for me what sweet and ravishing Communion have I had in holy duties publick and private in the assembly of Saints and in my Closet what large speedy and remarkable answers of Prayer what a ravishing sense of Divine Love and Favour
pardon and save yonder penitent sinner and shall my prayer backt with the pleadings of that blood be shut out I have now but a little time my glass is almost run the day is far spent the shadows of the evening are stretched out the night will quickly come Lord be not angry if I renew my request urge thee with thy promise and lie at thy foot till I obtain my pardon and Conscience be enabled and authorized to read it I am miserable and without thy pity must be so for ever and Lord I cannot I will not take a denyal I am thine save me In this sickness I have Ps 119 94. been examining my heart searching my ways and I have done it seriously and impartially what sins I have found out I heartily bewail pardon these and those I have not Who can understand his Ps 19. 12. Errors Lord cleanse thou me from secret faults Blessed Jesus thou great friend and lover of Souls from this my sick and death-bed I look up to thee for help and mercy Oh stand my friend now plead my cause now and let me have the pardon thy blood did purchase thou didst die for me thou wast crucifyed for me and thy blood was shed for me and carest thou not if I now perish May thy Tears Mark 4. 38. Wounds and Blood speak and plead for me for I am sure they will be heard if mine cannot within a few days within a few hours I must appear before an Holy Just and Terrible God and I tremble O my Saviour I tremble to think any one unpardoned sin should meet me at that Tribunal Oh procure my pardon for me before I die if Satan meet me there to accuse me I know thou wilt answer him and plead for me But if any one unpardoned sin meet me there it will condemn me and I am lost and lost for ever I am not sinless I have not perfectly obeyed the Law but I am not impenitent To exercise repentance for my sin has been my daily work ever since my first conversion and it has been so particularly in this present sickness My heart hath been turned from the love of sin and now I loath it more than ever there 's nothing troubles afflicts and grieves me so much as sin vile sin cursed sin thou hast cost me more tears sighs and groans than all my pains have done I Repent I Repent Lord I do repent Oh! pity and spare spare and pardon pardon and love love and save me for ever Have mercy upon me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies and blot out Psal 51. 1. all my sin Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven whose sin is covered Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not Psal 32. 1 2. iniquity Blessed he and only he is the blessed man though he be a poor man a pained man a sick man a dying man yet he is a blessed man Oh that this blessedness might be mine I am now sick and I have no hope of recovery my body grows weaker and weaker and nature sensibly decays this earthly Tabernacle shakes and it will quickly tumble Death Pale and Grim Death is posting towards me I am near unto eternity but I cannot die I dare not step into the other unseen Eternal World with out a pardon Believing O my God that word of thine that word which to me is of more worth than a thousand Worlds Let the wicked forsake his way and the Psal 55. 7 unrighteous man his thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon I beg and through the mediation of thy Christ and my Jesus will expect the pardon of all my sins Let it be unto me according to thy word in which thou hast caused thy Servant to hope Amen IV. Of submission to the Divine will as to the time of our Death Many reasons to persuade to such an holy frame and resigning temper Objections Answered Suitable Petitions The Triumph and last work of FAITH I am now on my last bed this sickness for ought I do or can understand will be unto Death The warrant is issued out the commission sealed I am a dying man every moment that passeth away every clock that strikes every breath I draw every pulse that beats tells me death is near at hand and having given thanks to God for all his mercies having unseignedly repented of all my sin and begged pardon in the name and through â—he blood of Jesus and having now some hope and assurance of it what have I further to do What becomes me as a Christian as a righteous man that hath hope of great and glorious things beyond the grave but to submit to the divine good pleasure and saying The will of the Lord be done What language becomes Acts 21. 14. such an one but this O Lord who art the fountain of Life to all thy Creatures I am thine to live or die when and as thou wilt thou gavest me my Life and it is fit thou shouldst take it from me when thou wilt and as thou pleasest I submit to thy will obey thy summons and I would not live a day an hour a moment longer than God would have me God hath ordered the various circumstances of my Life in the best manner things have been much better with me than if I had been left to my own will and choice and I leave it to this wise and good God to order the circumstances of my Death To die now may be better for me than to live longer and if infinite wisdom judge it so I will readily comply and chearfully put off this Earthly Tabernacle Submissive language happy frame blessed temper thus it ought to be with all but alas how few attain to this nay how do the most even of Christians come far short of it how willing are they to live how loth to die how extremely desirous to stay here how loath to depart how passionately desirous to have a new lease granted when the old one is exspiring and almost out For one that in good earnest says I long I long to die I am willing even now to be dissolved how many with tears in their eyes cry not yet Lord not yet Oh spare me that I may recover Ps 39. 13. strength before I go hence and be no more Thus with shame and sorrow must I confess it hath been with me but in this my present sickness Lord help me to overcome my fears of Death wean me from this vain World mortify my fond affection to this present Life and oh raise and quicken in me holy earnest desires after a better Holy Paul had a desire to depart and be with Christ Oh that Phil. 1. 23. now it might be so with me let me be able to say Lord I accept the punishment of my sin I kiss the rod lie at thy foot submit
must not now pass from me I may imitate my dear Saviour in the like circumstances chearfully saying Father not my will but thine be done The arguments I have â—uk 22. 42. used are weighty and serious sufficient to convince my judgment stop my mouth and make me silent but after all O pity pardon and help me I find I am backward and loth to die now Lord make me content content that 's too little make me desirous to die and to die now God forbid that after all my Soul should be violently rent and torn from me Lord Let me have such a firm belief of a future happiness such lively hopes and clear evidences of my right and title to it such a burning and flaming love to thee my God to thee my Saviour such pleasing foretasts of Heavenly joys such a reviving prospect of that glorious future state that I might overcome the fears of Death the terrors of the Grave and Triumph over both That I may long and pant desire groan and wish to be with Christ which I must and do acknowledge to be far better Lord inspire my departing Soul with that Faith Hope and Love that I may now glorifie Thee credit Religion and commend thy holy Ways that I may strengthen the weak and encourage the fearful by a chearful and willing comfortable and triumphant departure Sanctifie these afflictions and pains and this present sickness to me and let them put me upon longing after Heaven where are none answer my doubts expel my fears arm and fortifie comfort and encourage my weak drooping and trembling Soul and the nearer I draw to my end the more warm and earnest let my desires be Oh for thy holy Spirit to excite those Heavenly and Spiritual desires in me which I cannot raise in my self O thou almighty and victorious Jesus who hast conquer'd Death and the Grave enable me in these my last moments to triumph over them saying O DEATH where is thy Sting O GRAVE where is 1 Cor. 15. 55. thy victory Many experiences have I had of thy Grace and Mercy love and kindness O my Saviour forsake me not now in this my last extremity O Blessed Jesu who hast been my support and help in Life be my Strength my Comfort and my Joy at Death While in this my last sickness I have been speaking sometimes to my self and sometimes unto God I have obtain'd the Mercy I wanted and laboured after a willingness to die now my doubts are answered my fears remov'd my sins are pardoned God is reconciled my Conscience pacified my hopes are lively my evidences clear my assurance strong and my joy full and now thanks be to God how do I long to dye shall I be afraid of Death What! of a baffled vanquisht and conquer'd Enemy I am not I was but now blessed be God I am not Am I a Member of Christ a Son of God an Heir of Heaven and shall I be afraid of thee O Death through Grace O mine Enemy I am not Methinks I am already in the Suburbs of Heaven and I long to enter into that holy City I have a prospect of yonder blessed World and this prospect is so ravishing and transporting that I wish for a present possession No Heir ever longed more for his Inheritance no Captive ever longed more for Liberty no sick and pained man ever longed more for ease than I now do for Heaven When I am there what charming musick shall I hear what glorious sights shall I behold what blessed and delightful company shall I have what joy will enter into possess and fill this Soul of mine what a Mansion of Light and Glory shall I enter into when I have put off this earthly Tabernacle how does a thought of this make my fettered and yet imprisoned Soul cry out How long Lord how long farewel vain World farewel not Earth but Heaven is my home and I long groan and wish to be there Is the time of my departure at hand Is the time come that I must die Lord I do submit thy holy will be done My Body I chearfully bequeath unto the dust O faithful grave keep what I commit unto thee this Body till my Lord shall come and then deliver it up In the dust shall this flesh of mine sleep and rest in hope My Soul my pretious and immortal Soul O my God I resign to thee into thine hand I commit my Spirit Thou Psal 31. 5. hast redeemed me O Lord God of truth Father into 〈◊〉 â—ands I commit my Spirit Lord Luk. 23. 46. Acts 7. 59. Jesus 〈…〉 Must I die now Lord 〈◊〉 in thy will believing thy promise trusting in thy mercy thro' the ALL-SUFFICIENT MERITS of thy Son and my Saviour I wait wait Lord I long for the happy moment And my last Petition and dying prayer shall be Come Lord Jesus come qickly Rev. 22. 20. 1 Thes 4. 17. that I might be for ever with the Lord come Lord Jesus come quickly Amen Amen FINIS
God his Love to you or yours to him because it is so and so with you yet don't say nay don 't so much as think there are any more bitter Ingredients in your Cup than are necessary than both the Wisdom and Bowels of a Father advise Is Satan busie to fill you with doubts and fears needless suspicions and groundless jealousies does he draw a Curtain before or cast a Veil upon your faces does he labour to magnifie your Sins blot your Evidences and extinguish your Hope and are you cast down and go mourning all the day long because of this why should you is it not an Argument Satan has lost his game and you are none of his Slaves because he thus disquiets you Do you mourn after God and pant and breathe for him is it nothing but the light of his Countenance the smiles of his Face and a sense of his Love can content you Are you looking to see the Image of God upon your hearts and is it your grief and trouble you cannot see it so plain and legible as you should and would and desire and hereupon do you conclude you have no Grace What! when even these tears and groans tell you you have Tho' you may walk in darkness as many Children of Light have and do yet stay your selves on God and wait for him Oh how easily and quickly can the breath of God scatter all these Clouds which darken your Souls and the Light of his Countenance make a bright and a joyful day Having this opportunity to testifie my Love to you especially to your Souls I shall beg and presume on my Readers patience while upon this occasion I give you some counsels which I pray God may be useful to you and many more in the like circumstances I. Bless God it was your Lot and Happiness to be born of such holy Parents whereof one is taken and the other is yet left To be the Off-spring of them who are the Children of God to be the Postcrity of those who themselves are born from and have an Alliance to Heaven to descend from them who are the Dear and Antient Friends of God to be born of them who have a Convenant-Interest in God and can lay claim to the Covenant both for themselves and theirs how great a mercy what an invaluable Priviledge is it I am far from saying that Grace runs in a Blood that Children are Heirs to the Graces as they are to the Riches of their Parents but yet it is a Priviledge to be born of such I do and I would have you heartily bless God for it How sad a thought is it I am born of them who are Enemies to God Slaves to these Lusts and Servants to the Devil What a sad Example do such set before their poor Children in case they live and what a dreadful Legacy how many Woes and Curses do they bequeath to 'em in case they die before ' em I know sometimes sovereign Grace that even of Stones can Matth. 3. 9. raise up Children to Abraham cuts off the Entail But more frequently they tread in their Fathers steps and bear their Iniquities But how comfortable is it to sit down and think God a long time before my Birth order'd I should be born of such and such who were his familiar Friends and dear Servants I have a Father a Mother in whom I can see the Image of God who are united to Christ and sanctified by the Holy Spirit Is it not a mercy to be the Children of such Are not they more likely in a serious conscientious and sober manner to devote and dedicate their new-born Infants in Baptism to God when others only complement with God and bring them to the Laver of Regeneration out of Custom Ceremony and for Fashion sake they will do it with a deep sense of God's Goodness and Mercy And great may be the benefit of this solemn Transaction and early Dedication Will not such Parents when they look upon their own act and deed and remember what they promised in the Name and stead of their Children be put upon performing consequent Duties as earnest and servent Prayer to God for them a timely instructing them in the Christian Religion setting before 'em an holy Example and watching over their first early and ungovern'd years and how beneficial may all this be are not such Children like to have the benefit of an holy Religious Education which very oft God blesses to Conversion however may they not be kept from many open scandalous and conscience-wounding sins which in Youth They are inclined to and Others commit may not and has not God blessed such for their Father's sake These are does the great God as it were say the Children of my Covenant-servants they were born in my Family enter'd into my Service and I will be their God as I was the God of their Father and Mother their Holy Parents devoted them to me and I accepted set my mark upon them they are mine and they shall be mine and know what it is to be born of those who were my Friends and Favourites What is the peculiar priviledge of such Truly the Children of such Parents owe more thanks to God upon this account than usually they are aware of How few on their Knees heartily acknowledge God's Goodness and mercy to 'em in this respect while others pride themselves in the greatness of their Family the nobleness of their descent and that they have more pure and refined blood running in their Veins than others Bless the Lord O my Soul that I had a Father who was a Son and a Mother who was a Daughter of God This Children should do not only while Parents are alive but when dead a deep sense and a thankful acknowledgement of God's goodness should survive their Funeral render their memory very very pretious and force lively praises from us when they are faln asleep Let me add that this duty is most reasonable and the neglect of it most culpable if God hath blessed all or any of their endeavours to our Conversion Were they under God the means of our first and second birth the instruments of conveying Natural and Spiritual Life Is it owing to them that we are Men and Women and to their Prayers and Tears instructions and counsels that we are Christians Did God bless our Education and was it the means of an early and lasting Piety Our Debt is increas'd and a double Tribute of Praise is owing to God II. Learn how to make use of urge and plead this priviledge with your selves and with God With your selves that you may live and act as Children of such Parents with God that you may have the Blessings and Mercies which belong to such Vrge it upon and plead it with your own Souls that you may suppress Sin resist Temptation and live in the constant and lively performance of Holy Duties Israel makes use of this Argument He is my God and I will prepare
shame and at last die in horror and despair Sickness and Death O vain man will shake thy hopes The Sentence of thy Judge and and the Flames of Hell will dash them Hope may accompany thee while thou livest go with thee to the very borders of the Eternal World and then at farthest it will bid farewel to thy amazed and trembling Soul The time will come believe it Sirs the time will come when you shall hope no more no more no more for ever This hope is worse than none for it hinders Mens repentance and all the kindness it does them is first to hood-wink and then damn them How fatal is this hope A wicked man can have no good hope either living or dying and that false hope he maintains and cherishes in health when sickness comes many times takes the wings of the morning and flies away In an hour he must remove out of one World into another but he hath no hope it shall be into a better He bequeaths his body to the dust his Estate and Goods to his surviving friends but he can not Lord what an Agony must the departing Soul be in with confidence commend his Spirit into the hands of Jesus He may hope his Friends will give his body a decent burial but he has no hope alas he has no hope Angels will conduct his Soul to glory Oh Death Death how terrible is it when there is no hope of a better life To awaken such let me add to die without good hope though it be bad is not all For the wicked as it is in the former part of this verse is driven away in his wickedness Sad words miserable ends Prov. 14. 32. Ere long Sinners Death will grasp thee in its cold Arms ere long Pale Death will sit in that face of thine that now is Fair and Ruddy and the seat of a Charming Beauty ere long Death will shackle those feet which brought thee to this assembly shut those eyes which are a window to let in vanity into thy mind stop those ears which have been delighted with filthy and unsavoury discourse ere long Death will drive thee out of the World thou must be confâ—â—ed to a narrow Coffin sleep in a Bed of dust under a coverlet of crawling Worms but this is not all no nor the greatest part of thy misery for thou shalt be driven away in thy wickedness Go out of the World guilty and accompanied with the sins of thy whole Life Death unties the knot and thy Soul is gone gone Whither is it gone Into the invisible World to the illightned Tribunal of a Just Impartial and Inexorable Judge Death sets open the Door and thy immortal Spirit immediately flies away and all thy sins like so many black and frightful Devils hasten and post after Thy Sins O man thy sins mount and ascend as fast as thy Spirit and will be at the Judgment-seat as soon as it Methinks a thought of this should make thine heart ake thy lips quiver rottenness enter into thy bones and force thee to cry out Good God! Whatever becomes of me let me not die in my sins An impenitent sinner goes into Eternity dogg'd by Devils and his own impure Lusts When he dies that hope which with artifice and cunning he maintain'd in his life-time forsakes his wretched and trembling Soul In one instant it is gone and gone for ever follow him from one World to to'ther from his sick-bed to the Bar of God Doleful Hour Infer II. Do and must the righteous die Then how does it concern us to make a good use of them while they live The righteous are the lights of the World like the Sâ—â— in the Firmament profitable and beneficial to all Though hereafter these wise Virgins cannot supply us with Oyl out of their Vessels to recruit our Lamps and maintain the expiring Flame yet at present they may like the Sun communicate of their light and heat to us How much Spiritual good may we receive by them and how careful should all be to make a wise improvement Have you an Holy Father a Godly Mother who pray for weep over and daily instruct you Hearken to their instructions follow their example take their counsel for they must die That Holy Father of thine who with compassion and tenderness begs of thee to remember God and thine own Soul that Godly Mother of thine who brought thee forth with pain and sorrow and is in travel with thee again till Christ be formed in Gal. 4. 19. thee must die And if thou dost not hearken to and improve their serious reproofs godly counsels and wholesome advice what a torment may the thought of it be when they are dead and gone Methinks I hear a negligent and careless Son being lately come from the grave of his holy Father or godly Mother in bitterness crying out God in giving me such holy Parents gave me a great mercy but I Oh wretched man that I am neither valued nor thankfully improved so great a blessing as should and might have done My Father my Mother that is now dead very often and that with tears told me of my sin and danger with abundance of kindness in the Spirit of meekness reproved me for my youthful follies and vanities with much Plainness and Holy Zeal they instructed and counselled informed and directed me they brought me to the Solemn Assembly and taught me at home they wept over me and prayed to God for me and put me upon secret Prayer and reading the Holy Scriptures but all this labour in whole or at least in great part has been lost as to me Might I not have been much better might I not have had more grace and holiness had I improved this blessing I had the same advantage may the wicked and disobedient Son say but I slighted the instructions of my holy Father and contemned the counseâ—â— of my godly Mother and now they are dead and gone how likely am I to die in my sins having not the same helps and advantages as I had when they were with me Such reflections Conscience being awakned by the hand and rod of God may be made when such holy Relations are taken away to prevent which let all especially the Children of Holy Parents improve the lives and company of such The like might be said as to Husbands and Wives Masters and Servants c. Labour to get as much good as you can by holy Relations Christian Friends and Acquaintance for these you shall not have always with you Infer III. How great is the mercy and goodness of God to his People though they are not exempted from Death Death sounds harsh the Grave is very frightful When we think the Friends of God the Members of Christ the Favourites of Heaven and the Followers of the Lamb must die are we not sometime posed and almost at a stand Are we not puzzled to reconcile the Death of such men with the goodness and love of God and those
Providences And what relief might we have during the days of our mourning from these and the like considerations And Thanks be to God we upon whom Death has lately made a breach have this to comfort us Concerning this Relation of ours and Servant of God I will not say any thing the secrecy she always affected and my relation to her forbids me to blow the Trumpet at the mouth of her Grave She is Dead dead She is faln asleep in Jesus the Will of the Lord is done God grant that I in particular and the rest she has left behind who a while ago had a loving careful and tender Mother but now have none may SO Live and SO Die For blessed Rev. 14. 13. are the Dead which die in the Lord they rest from their Labours and their Works do follow them THE END DEATH-BED Reflections DEATH-BED Reflections Suitable to the preceding DISCOURSE And Proper for a RIGHTEOUS MAN in his Last Sickness I. This World and all in it is changeable Man in particular is so Death is certain and unavoidable What is to be done by a Righteous Man in his Sickness supposing it to be his last ALL things under the Sun are subject to change and what is so sooner or later will have an end THIS World and the fashion thereof 1 Cor. 7. 31. and all that is in it is passing away God is the same yesterday to day and for Heb 13. 7. ever but nothing else is or can be so Nothing here below is like a Mountain which cannot be moved by those mighty and sportive Waves which beat and dash against it but like a Feather which is driven hither and thither with the smallest Breath This World of ours tho' vain Mortals are foolishly fond of and excessively dote upon it as it had a BIRTH so it shall have a FUNERAL day the World's Morning and Noon is past and the Evening is at hand All these things shall be dissolv'd Nature groan 2 Pet. 3. 11. die and give up the Ghost Lord how quickly shall the Angel lift up his hand and swear by him that liveth for ever and ever that time shall be no more the old World was drowned with Water this v. 6. v. 7. shall be destroyed or resined by Fire tho' according to his promise we look for New Heavens v. 13. and a new Earth wherein dwelleth Righteousness In this mutable World nothing is more sickle and inconstant frail and uncertain vain and changeable than Man and what belongs to and makes up his Earthly happiness How uncertain are Prov. 23. 5 Riches may they not make themselves Wings and fly away and have they not often done so may not what we have been toiling labouring and sweating for many years be gone from us in a few hours Tho' Riches and Wealth Descend from Father to Son yet how oft doth Providence cut off the entail and he never enjoy what he was born to tho' a careful and provident Father may leave his Son a fair Estate and a good Inheritance he may live in want and die a Begger and not leave enough to buy a Cossin and purchase a Grave some unhappy accident or other may strip him naked before death does How uncertain is health and strength without which all other comforts are insipid if I am strong one day may I not be weak the next if I am well in the morning may I not be sick before evening if I am at ease to day may I not be rackt tortur'd and pain'd to morrow Lord when thou with rebukes correctest Psal 39. 11. man for iniquity thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth surely every man is vanity All these changes are but melancholy presages of and preparatory to our great and last when we shall be changed from living Dust into breathless Clay There is a time to die Since the first Age the first Man Adam Eccl. 3. 2. death has been reigning and yet death is not satisfied nor the Grave yet glutted with Carkasses This Earth oft changes its Inhabitants one Generation comes and Eccle. 1. 4. another goes our Ancestors moulder into Dust croud closer together and at length become Graves to bury us LIFE what is it A shadow which quickly vanishes a Vapour which suddenly disappears a Flower that fades and Grass which quickly withers and dies LIFE what is it a Candle that lies at the mercy of every stormy and blustering Wind a Lamp that burns a while but will go out for want of Oil to maintain the languishing and expiring flame If we search the Records of the Grave we shall find as many proofs and witnesses of our mortality as there are rotten Bones and Skulls How many Infants are only born live weep and die So that even out of the Mouths Psal 8. 2. of these Babes and Sucklings we may learn this sad and certain truth a time to die How many young Men has Death mowed down in the Morning how many of these has the cold hand of Death undrest before Evening and laid them to sleep in a Bed of Dust even at Noon-day and do not they cry in the Ears of the living there is a time to die Does not every Feaver that scorches us every fit of the Stone Gout and Cholick that puts us on the Rack every Ague that shakes the Walls and loosens the Pins of this Earthly Tabernacle every Dropsie that threatens to Drown us every Palsie that benum's every Lethargy that lulls us asleep repeat over this melancholy and awakening truth There is a time to die verily O my Soul every Man in his best estate is altogether vanity What is true concerning all and every one of Adam's Posterity Lord help me to apply to my self in particular to believe consider weigh and work upon my Heart this common truth I must die Let me not only have some general notional and speculative knowledge but a particular serious warm and practical one a knowledge that may be useful and serviceable to the best purposes a knowledge that may awe my Conscience warm my Soul and powerfully influence my Heart and Life It is impossible to be ignorant of this but Lord how cold unactive dull and ineffectual were all thoughts of this kind when I was well and strong oh that they may make more powerful and abiding impressions upon my Heart now I am sick and weak These very pains I now feel this disease this present affliction which makes me sigh and groan this sickness which I suppose will be my last tell me I must die and call upon me to prepare for such a time that now cannot be far off Lord help me in this my great and last work oh that sense and feeling might help my Faith this fire warm my Heart and what I now feel prepare me for my last pains pangs and conflicts which are like to be much sharper I have visited others some of them my near and
dear Relations in their sickness I have seen them sick weak and full of pain I have seen their cold sweats their mortal tremblings and heard their last and dying groans and now it 's my turn to be sick and my time to die Die how hard and difficult a work is this of what great concern and everlasting importance Die who does or can know what it imports but those who are dead and gone I thought it hard to see my Friend my Father my Mother dye but shall I not find it more difficult now I am to dye my self the Messenger of Death has laid hold on me I believe this sickness will be my last I have no hope of recovery I have been sick and God hath recover'd me at the Mouth of the Grave and God hath brought me back I have gone from my Sick-bed and Chamber to my Shop and Trade but now I verily believe I shall do so no more my Sun is setting my Glass is run there are but a few remaining Sands the Grave with open mouth is waiting for me and in a little time I shall drop into it Most Holy Lord assist me now and leave me not through thy Grace I have lived help me Lord help me now to dye as a Christian in these hours and moments prepare me more and better for my last I have lived Rom. 14. 8. Rev. 14. 13. to oh that now I might die in the Lord and fall asleep in Jesus Preparation for Death Judgment and an Eternal World thanks be to God I have not neglected I did not in health adjourn this work to a time of sickness in order to this I have made many a Prayer shed many a Tear abstain'd from sin and crucified the Flesh I spent much of my time in trying my self searching my Heart and examining my State in repenting of and amending what I found amiss I was convinc'd a few death-bed Tears and languishing Prayers extorted by fears of Death and Hell would not make amends or be a sufficient compensation for the sins of a wicked Life and therefore through the Grace of God assisting me I made it the business of my Life to prepare to dye But something more is to be done that I may glorify God in my Death and be for ever happy after it what remains and is now to be done in this my last sickness instruct me Lord and help me to do it I now stand at the Mouth of the Grave upon the Threshold of Time and at the Door of Eternity Lord increase strengthen and quicken all those Graces which are proper to be acted in a time of sickness and on a death-bed Oh! that now I am a sick oh that now I am a dying man my Faith Love and Hope my Repentance Humiliation and Sorrow my desires and breathings after God my joy and delight in him may be more lively and active than ever oh that this last work of my Life may be done best my sick bed joys may be the greatest and my dying comforts most abundant through these painful hours and days this dark and narrow gloomy and frightful passage guide direct and lead me Lord The exercise of some graces the performance of some duties are peculiarly seasonable in a time of health and life and others are so in Sickness and at Death Thou hast helpt me to live and now Lord help me to die If I have made any preparation for such a time and hour as this If I have done any of the work of my Life and conversed in this World as an expectant of a better if I have any grace and at any time have been able to act it if my love has been 〈◊〉 my zeal flaming my heart softned â—umbled broken and melted and mine eyes a fountain of tears to bewail the slips and falls I have been guilty of if I have delighted in God through Christ as my reconciled Father Portion Happiness and End if I have exercised self-denyal in keeping under the flesh restraining its appetites and denying its cravings in contemning the World and slighting those adored vanities which bewitch charm and intangle so many if at any time my hope of Heaven hath been lively my longing panting and breathing after it strong and warm if I have mortified any sin resisted any temptation performed any duty with success so as to profit my self and please God if I have done any thing whereby the glory honour and interest of God and Christ has been advanced if I have imployed improved my talents and gained more if I have brought forth fruit done any work and service in my generation and place Lord it is owing to thee to the assistances of thy grace and the influences of thy Holy Spirit and I desire to acknowledge it is so saying with thy holy Apostle by the grace of God I am what I am Not I but the 1 Co. 15. 10. grace of God which was with me Oh for the same grace and mercy aid and help now I am a sick and dying man Oh that God would help me in these painful days and sorrowful hours to glorifie him yet more by doing the work which is proper to such a time that my present sickness and death may be for the glory of God the honour of Religion the good of my self and others Particularly help me Lord to be truly thankful for all thy mercies for those innumerable favours confer'd on such a worm such a wretch as I am bring them to my remembrance and enable me unseignedly to bless thee help me O my God to exercise a serious solemn and particular repentance for my past sins Let Oh! let this heart of mine be more humble broken and penitent than ever Finally help me Lord with patience and calmness submission and resignation to submit to thy holy will to be willing to die now with faith and hope trust and confidence to commit my Soul to the care of my dear and blessed Jesus And to these ends Lord bless the following meditations to me and let neither my Eye nor Tongue out-run or leave my Heart behind II. God's goodness is to be acknowledged though he afflicts us at present An enumeration of past mercies temporal and Spiritual And solemn thanksgiving for both God is good and doth good freely constantly and unweariedly and I am fully convinced of both My faith and reason prove the former my very sense and long experience the latter And though now I am sick and weak afflicted and pained though I feel the weight of his hand and the smarting of his rod neither Flesh nor Devil shall persuade me to think otherwise Though he afflicts me now yet hath he not done me good all my days and shall not I bless him for his mercies Mercies that are more than I can number greater than I can value and far beyond my deserts Shall the afflictions of a few days the pains of a few hours make me O my Soul forget slight or