What a sottish thing is it therefore for a man to thinke that hee whoe affects those things which his owne will suggests is able to runne that carriere wherein the seruants of God must runne and whoe because he contents himselfe thinkes that God will also be contented with it and who liuing after his owne fashion will yet conceiue that he may liue soe with God Away away lett vs awake at last for the loue of God lett vs awake before hell-fire awake vs. And lett vs knowe that the kingdome of God is a hidden treasure and that he who findes it must bestowe all that he hath vpon the purchase thereof esteeming himselfe more happy and rich in this alone then in all things els A man who hath a minde to gaine this kingdome is not bound to become bankrupt or to be a beggar but that which he needes is that for the loue of this kingdome hee cutt of all occasion of inordinate loue which he may carry to riches and to honour and to a delicate and delightfull life and in fine to his owne proper will Christ our lord will haue vs all naked that soe we may runne on apace to him who dyed naked for vs. That man is naked who houlds his life and his honour laid vnder and in subiection to the will of Christ our Lord doeing what Christ will and not that which is suggested by pleasure or honour and who makes as light account of these things as if he had them not and is ready to cast them all into a light fire rather then to goe against the freindship of our Lord God by committing soe much as one sinne And though perhaps a man may attend to the improuement of his estate it must not be for the loue which he carryes to it but because God commaunds it If he liue it must not be because he loues life as making that the end of his care but he must keepe it for the seruice of God and sooner throwe it away then offend him If he be to aparell himselfe he must not take counsaile with vanity how he may be esteemed for his cloathes but with the word of our Lord which commaunds that we vse them not with superfluity but for the supply of iust necessity And soe this kinde of man doth not hould himselfe to be his owne but as one who belongs wholly to God He cares not for what himselfe desires but for that which God commaunds He layes all things and himselfe withall to be trodden vpon vnder foot for soe he may hould God aboue his head God commaunds and hee obeyes God directs and hee submitts and as the shadow followes the body soe hee followes the will of God Theis are true sonnes of Obedience to whome it is promised that they shall sitt at the table of God And that as the true sonne suffered by Obedience and entred soe into his kingdome soe the adopted sonnes must alsoe enter in by the same meanes There is noe coulour of reason why a man for hauing obeyed the orders of the great Turke should goe to aske a reward of the Christian Emperour and yet if hee should it would be easy to make him this answeare Let him pay you whome you haue serued And soe will God answeare them whoe liued heere in obedience to their owne appetites when they shall aske him that reward of glory Great thankes doe we owe to Christ our Lord for hauing warned vs of this soe longe before that soe if we will thinke thereon we may not finde our selues deceiued by him who soe deerely loued vs. His aduertissement is this Not euery one whoe saith to mee Lord Lord shall enter into the kingdome of heauen but he shall enter in who doth the will of my Father who is in heauen What neede haue wee of any more since the word of Christ our Lord can neuer faile And who is that man who will not awake with this For the question is not now concerning any earthly kingdome but the kingdome of heauen since noe man enters thither but he who shall haue done the will of God Let this therefore be our study let this be our discourse let vs counsaile men to this and let vs in fine obserue vigilantly if we doe any thing which carryes not true conformitie with the will of our Lord. And because our owne watchfulnes will not suffice lett vs call vpon our Lord that hee may assist vs. Let vs acknowledge our owne misery and let vs cordyally implore his mercie Our lord who must helpe vs is noe such person as that he can deny himself to such as seeke him with their harts And if we did indeede knock call vpon him infallibly he would anfweare open to vs. And he knocks indeede who knocks both by prayer by the practise of vertue And he shall be heard when he calls who was content to hearken to his neighbour when he was called vpon by him and whoe assisted him in his necessities and who pardoned his errours and who neither did ill to him nor refused patiently to suffer ill from him This is the generation of them who seeke our Lord Psal 13. and they shall finde him Let vs therefore goe and runne this carriere For happy are those labours which are endured for the obteyning of this Crowne And they shall soone passe away but their reward is to last for euer Let vs lay vp our treasure there It will be highly enough for vs to possesse God and let vs not loose our tyme for it was not giuen vs to be lost But let vs liue to the end that we may euer liue and soe wee shall passe on from contumely to glory from pouerty to plenty from banishment to our owne country which we shall possesse through the eternities of all eternities Amen A letter to a certaine person wherein is treated of the Loue of God towards man and of that which hee is wont to doe towards the releife of our miserie THE Infant Iesus whoe was borne for our good make you partaker of the blessings which he brings since he tooke those miseries vpon him to which we were subject I beseech him to giue you that liuely fire of his loue wherein you may burne vp with a quick flame since to kindle this loue in vs he came into the world soe poore and soe frosen with cold How much more cold this Infant suffers soe much more warme doth he cloath our harts towards the loue of him And by how much the more we loue him soe much the more doe we desire to suffer for him For loue flyes from taking ease as from a thing which is very contrary to the intention and end thereof For whilest others are seeking for libertie and delight he whoe loues abhors this and desires to be eternally a slaue and to be euer labouring for whome he loues I pray you tell me who constrayned Almightie God to become man noe other thing but onely Loue Who
constrayned him since there was noe remedy but that he would become man that he must needes be borne in soe hard and soe bitter a tyme of the yeare and in a country where he was a straunger and insteede of a house that it must needes be in a stable and all this in soe great pouertie and basenes that he well deserues compassion at our hand Certainely noe other thing but Loue could haue brought him as it were all bound from heauen to the most pure wombe of our Blessed Lady and from that wombe it brought him to that hard manger and from thence to many other afflictions and soe at last to the Crosse where louing vs with much truth of loue he procured that we might truely loue him as himselfe had said before If I be exalted from the earth I will draw all things vp to my selfe Iohn 3 â—um 21. Exalting from the earth signifies to dye vpon the Crosse as he did And then drew he all things to himselfe by meanes of that mighty loue which he kindled in the hart of man For looking towards this true louer some haue beene content to forgett their countries and to liue in continuall pilgrimage others to forsake their estates and to liue in pouerty others haue offered themselues to seuerall afflictions yea and to death it selfe desiring rather to suffer for Christ our Lord then to be delighted any way but in him And let his mercie be praised for euer for that amongst them whoe through the noble loue of the Crucifix haue forgotten all their fortunes and themselues withall your selfe is growne to be one not of your selfe but by him whoe workes his owne glorie in you And therefore he will not leaue you in the weake hands of your selfe alone since he not you begin the worke You therefore my good lady may well reioyce you may reioyce in God since you are well protected vnder a mantle which is both soe soft and soe stronge Stronge to defende you from your enemies and from your selfe whoe are the greatest enemie you haue and soft or sweete to comfort you in your aflictions and to feele them as if they were his owne and to giue you part of his hart which is soe greately wounded with loue for you How could our Lord haue expected drawne or guarded or susteyned you if he had not loued you with great truth of loue How is it possible that your sinnes would not haue prouoked him to wrath if there had not beene as much loue in him as serued to make him shut his eyes towards them and to open them towards the doeing you fauour But you will say How come I to be soe happie as that the eternall king should loue mee and for that reason should endure mee and doe mee soe much good insteede of ill I will answeare you when you shall first haue tolde mee why the fire burnes and why the sunne shines and why the water refreshes and why euery thing is endewed with his owne nature And if you say the fire burnes because it is fire soe doe I alsoe tell you that because God is God therefore doth hee loue vs freely and shewes mercy to such as deserue it not Our pride hath nothing noe it hath nothing whereof to glory but the shame and dishonour must be ours and the honour his The good wee may enioye but the glorie must be his Luke 2 For soe the angells sunge when the blessed Infant was borne Glory be to God in the heauens and peace to men of good will Lett vs giue the glory to the Lord of vs all for the mercies which we haue receiued at his hand Glory be to him because he hath deliuered vs with soe much power from the hands of them to whome we had deliuered our selues with soe miserable a resolution Glory be to him whoe drew vs to grace wee being out of his grace and who sustaines vs and crownes vs with mercy and with many mercies and whoe giues vs to vnderstand that hee will finish that in vs which hee hath begunne For he is wont to haue the charge and care of any busines to whome the honour must result and he whoe reapes the honour must be content to take the care And now since this Blessed Lord of ours will be glorified in vs and will take the honour of our victorie to himselfe he will alsoe take the care of our combatt and hee will enable vs to passe through it to him and will tye vs to himselfe with soe stronge a knott of loue that neither life nor death shall diuide vs. He will enable vs to looke vpon himselfe with open eyes and to shutt them towards all other things and he will imprint himselfe soe fast vpon our harts that for the loue and memory of him wee shall forgett not onely all other things but our very selues alsoe This will he doe whoe is soe pittious soe powerfull and his name is holy and hee it is whoe loues vs more then we can either say or thinke For his workes exceede all created vnderstanding To him be glorye for the eternitie of all eternities Amen As for that which you aske mee concerning my health it goes ill with mee since I am vnworthy of sicknes For if I were not very vnworthy our Lord would not haue taken my paine from mee soe soone as he hath taken it And as for the rest of your letter I answeare that a great fire by how much the more it is shutt vp and concealed soe much the hotter it burnes Christ our Lord make you his true and faithfull disciple that soe you may in some sort correspond to that vnspeakeable and diuine loue of his as I cordially desire of him for you A letter to a reuerend and religious person encouraging him towards the perfect loue of God and representing to him some meanes for the obteyning thereof REuerend father Pax Christi Since our Lord Iesus Christ is not pleased that at this tyme I should be where I might enioy the communication of your selfe and of those my Maisters the Collegialls as I had wished lett his name be blessed for all and in the meane tyme I must endure it with patience Wherein yet mee thinks I shall not be performing a small penance for it is a hard thing for vs to endure to be diuided from the persons whome wee loue And in very truth I did neuer soe much desire to be assisted by you in some things as now For I conceiue that it might haue proued greatly to the seruice of our Lord. But yet since by one that loues all things are well taken I will speake a little to you in absence till our Lord ordaine that wee may be present Sir I much desire that we may seeke God who is our totall Good and that not after any ordinary manner but like some one whoe seekes a great treasure which is much esteemed and for loue whereof he sells all that hee is
passe that in the middest of soe many dangers we can esteeme our selues secure and vnder the weight of soe many woundes we doe not feele the paine thereof why seeke we not for some remedy before the night steale vpon vs and before the gates of all succour be shutt vp against vs when those foolish virgins shall cry out Matth 25. 1. Cor. 11. and it shall be answeared thus I know you not Let vs therefore know our selues and we shall be knowne by almighty God Lett vs iudge and condemne our selues and soe we shall be absolued by almighty God Lett vs place our eyes vpon our owne faultes and soe there will be mercy enough for vs to spare Lett vs consider our owne miseries and we shall learne to haue pitty vpon those of others Eccl. 31. For as the scripture saith By that which is in thy selfe thou shalt come to know that which is in thy neighbour If I see my selfe fall sometymes by frailty I shall thinke that it may happen soe to my neighbour and as I shall be gladd to haue my fault pittied soe will I haue pittie vpon other men When my betters doe me a disfauour which I feele much I must thinke that my inferiours will be troubled after the same manner if I disfauour them If I be sadd I desire comfort and my neighbours case is the same I am troubled at an ill word which was spoken to mee and I say That I am made of flesh and not of iron this serues me for a proofe that my neighbour is alsoe made of flesh feeles the like affliction vpon the like occasion The ill coÌ„ditions of some men giue me trouble and I wish that they would mend them that soe they may not occasion mee to sinne and my neighbours desire the same of mee Wee are all made of the same mettall there is noe better rule by which I may liue with my neighbour then to marke attentiuely that which passes within my selfe since hee and I are one He who practises this point of mercy with his neighbour may safely passe on to the knowledge of Christ our Lord to be releiued by him Mat. 5. For the mercifull shall obtaine mercie But otherwise he will heare that which the scripture saith He whoe shutts his eare against the voyce of the poore Pro. 21. that man shall cry out and not bee heard All man kinde is poore nor is there any one of that race whoe is not subiect to some necessitie Lett vs consider well if we be deafe to the miseries of others for soe will God be to ours Mat. 7. Let noe man thinke that Christ our Lord will measure to vs with any other measure men as we measure to others Lett noe man thinke that he shall obtaine pardon if he afford not pardon The vntoward man shall meete with vntowardnes the troublesome man with troubles the offensiue man with iniuries and the charitable man with mercy For to sowe thornes with a man's neighbour to thinke of gathering sigges at the hands of God is wholly impossible Now because we consider not this there are very few whoe finde themselues enterteyned by almighty God with sweetenes and there are many who complaine that God forgetts to releiue their miseries and they maruaile how hee can send them such store of troubles both within and without especially since his very name is Mercifull and the shewer of mercies and since he inuites men to seeke for succour at his hands They beg they seeke and they finde noe remedy and from thence comes their complaint But if they were not deafe to that law which God published in his ghospell saying with the selfe same measure wherewith you measure to others Mat. 7. it shall be measured to you againe they would plainely see that themselues are they whoe are wanting to their neighbours and consequently are wanting to God in their persons and therefore it is that God may seeme to bee wanting to them Let them complaine in themselues in that they haue noe charity with their neighbours For God is full of Charitie for his parte but it is not reason nor will hee exercise it towards such as are wanting in it to their neighbours And if at any tyme he impart temporall blessings to such a one as is vncharitable towards others what good will those blessings doe that wicked man if withall he loose himselfe But God will not giue him any such thing as may make him indeede the better by it but vpon condition that he carry himselfe as he ought towards his neighbours Let vs therefore know our selues and lett vs be towards others as we desire they should be towards vs and soe let vs passe on towards the knowledge of God and from the Sancta to the Sancta Sanctorum And lett vs lift vp our eyes to our Lord whoe was placed vpon the Crosse for our saluation and in him wee shall discerne both more greater blessings then wee discouered miseries in our selues And if by thinking what we are we grow sadd through the consideration of our greiuous sinnes past and through the daungers which are at hand we shall be refreshed by looking vp to him when wee consider both how truly and how superaboundantly he payd that which we owe purchased that streÌ„gth for vs whereby we might subdue our enemyes It is he who secures vs but vpon coÌ„dition that wee relye on him And what O Lord shall hee feare who followes thee At what shall he tremble who loues thee Who shall be able to sett vpon that man whoe takes thee for his defence How shall the deuill be able to carry him away who is incorporated in thee Or how shall the eternall father forbeare to loue that creature whome hee perceiues to be in his soÌ„ne as the bâ—aunch is in the vine Or how shall the sonne faile to loue that man whome he perceiues to loue him Or how shall the Holy ghost forsake that creature whoe is the teÌ„ple which himself inhabits we possesse greater benefits in Christ our lord then wee are full of miseries in our selues and we haue more cause of hope when wee behould him then of distrust when we cast our eyes vpon our selues Nor is there any coÌ„fort or resting place for such a one as is discoÌ„forted in himselfe but to looke vp to this Iesus vpoÌ„ the Crosse whome God ordayned for the remedy of all such as should be wounded with the bitting of spiritual serpeÌ„ts For as anciently God commaunded that they should erect a Serpent of brasse that all such a should behould it might be cured of the wound of those corporall serpeÌ„ts so he who shall behould Christ our lord with faith lone shall liue and he on the other side who behoulds him not shall not faile to dye He who findes himself all afflicted wounded shal be refreshed if he looke vp hither as Dauid did wheÌ„ he said My soule was troubled within mee
from his hand and this signe is that you haue suffered tribulation You must not be a little gladd of this since our Lord loues you Nor yet must you be slacke since you are in the middest of many dangers but carry your eye towards him who hath called you with so great loue You must alsoe haue a stronge harte For he called you not with intention to giue you ouer in the middest of your iourney but to guide you vnder the protection of his owne wings till he may haue conducted you to heauen where you shall see his face Let not the faith of Christ our Lord nor the loue you owe him sleepe in you for he neuer sleepes when there is question of doeing you any good These are tokens which he vses to send to whome he loues to try if they alsoe loue him in their afflictions and if they confide in him in their dangers That Spouse is not worthy of thaÌ„kes who loues her fellow spouse but onely when he is present with her not doth it cost him much to confide in him when she findes her selfe regaled by him But the matter is that when he absents himselfe from her yea and when he seemes to haue forgotten her she must loue him soe much the better as he is further absent from her and confide in him soe much the more as she hath fewer exteriour signes of his fauour It is enough for you my good sister to haue knowne already by experience how louing our Lord hath beene to you by his hauing drawne you to the knowledge of himself And be you not crauing new testimonies of his Loue but making your selfe sure enough thereof and be not troubled though he correct you and though it seeme as if he estraunged himselfe from you and forgott you but rather say thus Hee hath a minde to trye me and not to oppresse mee You must loue our Lord though he correct you you must coÌ„fide in him though you feele noe comfort from him Seeke him though he hide himselfe suffer him not to rest till you haue waked him and till he confesse that you are faithfull in his absence And thus you shall finde him returne to you with soe much aduantage as that when you enioye his presence againe you will esteeme your former afflictions well imployed Procure greate courage wherewith to suffer for after the rate of your sorrows shall your comforts be Bee not a louer of your selse but be a louer of God loose yourselfe and soe you shall be sure to finde your selfe And if once you would but trust God home and if once you would offer your selfe to him with true loue there could nothing happen which would fright you All bitter frosen afflictions proceede but from distrust in God And for this our Lord said Let not your harts be troubled and doe not feare You beleiue in God beleiue alsoe in mee Soe that faith and loue is the cause of peace Iohn 14 and quietnes to the hart There is noe one thinge which is soe necessary for you towards the making you able to arriue at the end of that dayes worke wherein God hath placed you as to confide in him with loue Our lord hath many proofes to make of you and many tribulations shall growe where you looke least for them but if you stand armed with faith and loue you shall ouercome them all Doe but remember how the children of Israell Num. 1 when they were issued out of the land of Egypt by the meanes of soe many miracles and were passing through soe many afflictions before they arriued at that land which our lord had promised them said thus The people which possesse this land is greater and stronger then wee they haue mightie Citties whose walis doe euen threaten the skye we cannot ouercome such a stout nation as this to what end doe wee put our selues vpon this iourney And though some amongst them whoe had faith did encourage the rest by saying that since God was of their side they should easily be able to ouercome as they had done till then yet feare preuailed soe farre as that they offended our lord thereby and through their little considence they lost the land and God destroyed them in the desert without suffering them to enioye that for which they had laboured and which himselfe had promised Let vs take warning my good sister by the danger of others and lett vs know that our lord hath gust Psal 147. in such as feare him and hope in his mercie and is offended with such as doe not soe It is he whoe drewe you out of the captiuity of Egypt when he inspired your hart with a desire of being his and hee leades you still through this desert which is soe impleasant where sometymes you want the bread of doctrine for lacke of such as might breake it to you other tymes you want company which may speake of spirituall things that soe your way might be made to seeme the shorter At other tymes you want the trees of other recreation which might giue you shade and in steede of these coÌ„modities you haue a thousand discomforts Now temptations rise against you from within and then from without now from strangers and then from domesticks But yet attend you onely to your busines for he who did that for you which was more can neuer faile to doe that for you which is lesse He who made you a freind of an enemy will better keepe you now when you are his freind He who did not abandon you when you fled from him will much lesse fly now from you when you follow him Who is he that can say with any truth that God did not helpe him if he were desired See you haue noe feare o you seruant of Christ in any thing which may happen to you but confide in him who Loued you soe well as to dye for you It is true that you haue but one who protects you but that one is of much more power then all they whoe contradict you Doe not thinke of how great the giants and how stronge the Citties are which you must encounter for it is not you who must fight Numb 14. But hold you your peace and our lord will fight for you Doe not fly from the warre nor abandon your selfe as one who were ouercome and soe you shall see the fauour of our Lord â—â—wards you For in this warre he onely looses the battaille Exod. 14. who quitts the feild It is true that you are weake but in that weakenes of yours God will shew his strength It is true that you know not much but God himselfe will be your guide By your miseries God will make his mercies appeare Whoe are you that you should be able to passe through such difficulties but yet say with Daâ—id Pâ—â— 17. In the strength of my God I will leape ouer a wall Who are you that you should be able to fight but yet say with him
bones which here they gaue you to be gnawed vpon by your soule you shall there be employed in feeding vpon that most sauorie bread of life which is God himself and thereof there will neuer be an ende And therefore hope for this and comfort yourself with this for the businesse whereof wee are now in question is not fitt for them who are either of a delicate life or a weake faith You will see yourself many times in such a kinde of state by these afflictions as that if you consider them with the sense of flesh and bloud you will thinke them to be the very markes of hell and euen a beginning thereof but yet you must suffer it with patience though it be without comfort yea and though you do not so much as feele your owne confidence that so you may knowe what it is to suffer in good carnest For as long as a man's confidence is very strong there is nothing which can afflicte him very much but when God hides his face and shewes the soule no fauour but disfauour and when it is persecuted by enemies and yet feeles not the helpe of her good friend then indeede is it pure suffering and hath a taste euen of the very torments of hell You will not then discerne any hope which you may haue to escape but you must content yourself with this that you despaire not and let that discomfort be accepted by you in penance for your sinnes wherein once you tooke delight and let it at length serue to make you clearely see how litle that is which you are able to doe of yourself It is but reason that he who sinnes by louing and liking himself should pay for it by being inwardly and profoundly disgusted with himself and that he who had confidence in himself may see to his cost that he is good for nothing Through this fire must you passe if you desire to enioy the rest of heauen In this warre must you ouercome if you will deserue the Crowne of that kingdome Consider how the holy Scripture saith Blessed is the man Iacob 1. who suffers temptation for when he shall haue beene tryed he is to receiue the Crowne of life which God promised to them who loue him If the Crowne contente you let not the tryall displease you and there can be no triall without temptation and no temptation of troubles can be coming towards you which passes not from the hand of God who is your father and who measures out so much thereof as may be fitt and neither to fall short in respect of your profitt nor to ouerflowe in respect of your weakenesse Feare not to drinke with patience of that which God dranke with loue And God himselfe saith to vs My sonne doe not cast thyself into anguish Prou. 3. when thou art corrected by Almightie God For hee corrects him whome he loues as the father doth the sonne in whome hee delights And elsewhere he saith Heb. 12 Eccl. 38 Doe not despise thyselfe in thy weakenesse but pray to God and hee will cure thee And now since we are commaunded on the parte of God that whatsoeuer happen we must not be dismayed let vs make our recourse to him vpon the confidence which we haue in his word and let vs beg his fauour which hee cannot fayle to afforde O sister and if we could but see how deare and precious we are in the eyes of God! Oh that we could but see how deepely he holdes vs lodged in his hart and how neare we are to him when we may perhaps conceiue our selues to be cast furthest of Blessed be our lord Iesus Christ for hee it is whome with a full mouth we proclaime to be our hope Nothing can so fright me as hee can secure me Let me be changed from deuout to slacke and tepide from goeing towards the comforts of heauen to goe towards the darkenesse of the blacke pitt of hell Let mee be enuironed by my sinnes which are past and by feares which may bee to come let the deuills accuse me and lay snares for me let men persecute and fright me let them threaten me with hell and lay ten thousand dangers before me and yet after all this by sighing and sobbing for my sinnes and by casting mine eyes vp to Christ our lord desiring helpe at his hands that lord who is so meeke so benigne so full of mercie and that most firme and faithfull louer of mine euen to death and I cannot be perswaded to disconfide especially when I consider that I was valued at so high a rate that God himself was giuen for me O Christ thou hauen of securitie for all them who being brused and battered by the tempestuous waues of their owne harts and flye to thee for succour O thou fountaine of liuing waters to those stags who are embossed and pincht by those spirituall dogs which are the deuills and their owne sinnes Thou art that profound internall rest the hope which neuer fayled Psal 103. the protection of orphans and the defence of widowes Thou art that firme house of stone which giuest receipt to those porcupines which are so full of roughnesse and sharpenesse through their sinnes if with groanes and desire of pardon they fly towards thee Thou defendest vs from the wrath of God to which we are subiect And although sometimes thou commaundest thy Disciples to enter into the sea without thee that so they may be weaned by litle and litle frō thy sweete conuersatiō though when thou art absent such tempests of the sea may rise Mani 6. as to putt the soule into hazard of being lost yet still thou forgettest them not Thou biddest them departe from thee and yet euen very then thou goest to pray for them They thinke thou hast layed them aside and that thou sleepest and then art thou vpon thy knees for them And when three partes of the night were already past and when it seemed to thy infinite wisedome that then thou hadst kept them long enough in paine through thy absence and that then they had continued in that tempest long enough thou descendest from the mountaines and as the true Lord of those vnconstant waues thou walkedst vpon them for all is firme vnder thy feete and thou drewest neare thy seruants when they thought thee farthest of from them and thou vtteredst these words of confidence to them Matth. 14. It is I be not afrayed O Christ our lord thou diligent and carefull pastour of thy sheepe and how much is that soule in errour who will not confide in thee and through thee from the most profound internall parte of the hart if withall he can be content to amende his life and to serue thee O that thou wouldst but let men know how much reason they haue who come to giue themselues to thy seruice not to be dismayed vnder the conduct of such a Captaine and that there is noe accident which ought to putt anie seruant of thine
I beare to my creatures I couer it for whome nothing is so good as not to know any thing which concernes themselues but to remitt themselues wholy to me In that ignorance doth their knowledge consist in that suspence their strength and in that subiection their dominion And it ought to suffise a soule that it lyes in no other hands but mine which are also hers since for her they were nayled vpon the Crosse Yea they are more hers then mine since they laboured more for the purchase of her good then of mine owne And to the ende that I may draw her out of all self conceipt and make her follow my direction it is I who conduct her into this darkenesse that so she may know nothing of herself But yet still if she putt her confidence in me and departe not from my seruice I will deliuer her and I will glorifye her and all this will I performe to her Be faithfull to death Psal 90. and I will giue thee the Crowne of life This sayth our Lord to all faithfull soules and this he sayth to yours which I pray God to keepe Amen A Letter to a Lady who was a Religious woman and in great affliction He shewes how troubles are the proofe of Faith and Loue in the seruants of God and how confident they ought to be of his Diuine Maiesly in the middest of their troubles AS soone as I receiued your letter I offered thanks to our lord for hauing giuen you a signe that your vocation came from his hand and this signe is that you haue suffered tribulation You must not be a little glad of this since our Lord loues you Nor yet must you be slack since you are in the midst of many dangers butt carry your eye towardes him whoe hath called you with soe great loue You must alsoe haue a strong hart For he called you not with intention to giue you ouer in the midst of your iourney but to guide you vnder the protection of his owne wings till he may haue conducted you to heauen where you shall see his face Let not the Faith of Christ our Lord nor the loue you owe him sleepe in you for he neuer sleepes when there is question of doeing you anie good These are tokens which he vses to sende to whome he loues to trye if they also loue him in their afflictions and if they confide in him in their dangers That spouse is not worthy of thankes who loues her fellow-spouse but onely when he is present with her nor doth it cost her much to confide in him when she findes herselfe regaled by him But the matter is that when he absentes himself from her yea and when he seemes to haue forgotten her she must loue him so much the better as he is further absent from her and confide in him so much the more as she hath fewer exteriour signes of his fauour It is enough for you my good sister to haue knowen alreadie by experience how louing our lord hath beene to you by his hauing drawen you to the knowledge of himself And be you not crauing new testimonies of his loue but make yourself sure enough thereof and be not troubled although he correct you and though it seeme as if he estranged himself from you and forgott you but rather say thus He hath a minde to trye me and not to oppresse me You must loue our lord though he correct you you must confide in him though you feele no comfort from him Seeke him though he hide himself suffer him not to rest till you haue waked him and till he confesse that you are faithfull in his absence and thus you shall finde him to returne to you with so much aduantage as that when you enioy his presence againe you will esteeme your former afflictions well employed Procure great courage wherewith to suffer for after the rate of your sorrowes shall your comforts be Be not a louer of yourself but be a louer of God loose yourself and soe you shall bee sure to finde yourself And if once yow would bud trust God home and if once you would offer yourselfe to him with true loue there could nothing happen which would fright you All bitter frozen afflictions proceede but from distrust in God And for this our lord sayde Let not your harts bee troubled and doe not â—eare You beleiue in God beleiue also in me So that Faith and loue is the cause of peace and quietnesse to the hart There is no one thing which is so necessarie for you towards the making you able to arriue at the ende of that dayes worke wherein God hath placed you as to confide in him with loue Our lord hath manie proofes to make of you and manie tribulations shall growe where you looke least for them but if you stand armed with Faith and loue you shall ouercome them all Num 13. Doe but remember how the children of Israel when they were issued out of the land of Egypt by meanes of so manie miracles and were passing through so manie afflictions before they arriued at that land which our lord had promised them sayd thus The people which possesse this land is greater and stronger then we they haue mightie Citties whose walles doe euen threaten the skye we cannot ouercome such a stoute nation as this to what ende doe we putt ourselues vpon this iournie And though some amongst them who had Faith did encourage the rest by saing that since God was on their side they should easily be able to euercome as they had done till then yet feare preuailed so farre as that they offended our lord thereby and through their litle confidence they lost the land and God destroyed them in the desert without suffering them to enioy that for which they had laboured and which himself had promised Let vs take warning Psal 147. my good Sister by the danger of others and let vs knowe that our Lord hath gust in such as feare him and hope in his mercie and is offended with such as doe not so It is he who drew you out of the captiuitie of Egypt when hee inspired your hart with a desire of being his and he leades you still through this desert which is so vnpleasant where sometimes you want the bread of doctrine for lacke of such as might breake it to you At other times you want companie which may speake of spirituall things that so your way might bee made to seeme the shorter At other times you doe want the trees of other recreation which might giue you shade and thus in steede of these commodities you haue a thousand discomforts Now temptations rise against you from within and then from without now from strangers and then from domestiques Butt yett attende you onely to your businesse For he who did that for you which was more can neuer fayle to do that for you which is lesse He who made you a friend of an enemie will better
O my deere God and when shall we maintaine our soules in perfect faith and puritie towards thee and be sincerely loyall to Iesus Christ our Lord who is the spouse thereof giuing him our loue all intyre and wholly free from mingling itselfe with the basenes of creatures When shall we be able to vnderstand this truth that he who is to owne our soules is Christ our Lord and that he created vs for himselfe and that he onely is fitt for vs Is it not enough that we haue tryed so often by experience how ill the world is wont to serue vs and that our soule could neuer finde any true repose or peace but onely when coming to knowe her owne misery and poorenes it went to God and was imbraced by him Is not one of those short fitts of tyme more worth then their whole life who sacrifice themselues to vanitie and to the confusion of this ignorant world wherein they liue Or shall it not now at length bee tyme to saye to all things created I know you not that soe I may prouide a cleane and ready place for the reception of him who created you all of nothing I am extreamely glad that we haue to doe with a Holy ghost which is soe very holy as that he would not come euen to the disciples them selues of our Lord till euen his owne pretious body were taken out of their sight That so we may know the condition of this holy spirit to be such as that we must prouide a temple for it where noe other thing may dwell or els it will not enter there And I am highly glad that you by the grace of this spirit will haue prepared your selfe and that you will haue receiued him and that you and he are well content with one another Reioyce you with this Holy ghost for he is Ioy it felfe And remember Eph. 4 that the Apostle S. Paule requires vs not to contristate the holy spirit of God whereby wee are marked out for the day of redeÌ„ption which is of the iudgment of the latter day He contristates this Spirit whoe with a dull and deiected hart goes faintly and negligently about his seruice whoe doth things which displease this most soueraigne guest who as himselfe is fire soe will he haue his seruant full of feruour and requires that he goe about his worke with great life And that he euer be casting on the wood of good workes and blowing it with holy thoughts that soe this celestiall fire may not be quenched in vs since our very life consists in keeping it aliue And soe if we maintaine this fire in vs it will maintaine vs in him though yet still it be true that he first giues vs that which afterward we giue to him So that in this respect your ladyship will haue beene fedd at a good table this weeke since you will haue celebrated the Feast of the holy ghost not according to flesh and blood as they doe whoe vse to content themselues â—vith the talke and tumult of great Festiuities but you will haue celebrated it in Spirit according to the aduice of our Lord Iohn 4. who requires to be Spiritually adored Lett vs now consider how it stands with you concerning the sent odour of the Festiuitie of the Body of our Lord which is now neere at hand For it will be an extreame shame for a Christian hart not to hunger and aspire toward this holy bread Matth. 2. before the Festiuitie it selfe arriue since the three kings those wise men of the Ghospell had a sent of it so farre of yea and the Prophetts and Patriarcks had the like a longe tyme before his Incarnation What more happy newes can there be then to see Christ our Lord passe amongst vs in our streetes and through our hands communicating and conuersing with men And to haue him sett before our eyes to finde him whome neither the whole earth nor all the heauens can comprehend shut within the narrow â—urtaine of the accidents of bread and after all â—his to make his entrance into our vnworthy woefull brests Take heede you heare not this newes with deafe eares but awake your hart and require it to be very attentiue to soe great a fauour and worke of God and that it instantly cast vp whatsoeuer other meate it may haue swallowed that soe being full of hunger it may grow all full of this celestiall bread where vpon the Angells feede And bid it be sure to watch now that soe it may not then fall a sleepe And since it is the worke of the holy Ghost you must begg grace whereby you may be able to finde the effect of that Feast of the body of our Lord which was conceiued by the same holy Ghost And soe when that Feast of his most holy body shall be come the Holy Ghost will alsoe come with it because the Holy Ghost descended into the world through the meritts of Christ our Lord. And when his Body shall be giuen vs we shall receiue the holy Ghost together with it according to the rate of that good disposition which we shall haue Soe that one Festiuity must helpe and be a preparation for another and must giue vs hunger to feede vpon the fruite of the other For it is not heere as it happens in the banquets of this world which are made by flesh and bloud Where they whoe haue fedd full at noone haue noe minde at all to their meate at night But the soule goes feeding with afresh appetite from one Festiuitie to another and soe that is accomplished Leuit. 26. which God promised The threashing of your corne shall last till you goe to vintage and till the new time of seede and you shall eate your bread in aboundance The goodnes of God be blessed which soe liberally prouides for vs and that not in any meane fashion but by giuing his very selfe to vs. The sonne is giuen to vs and the Holy Ghost for his sake and these two persons giuing themselues the father cannot choose but be alsoe giuen In fine the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost are ours Wee already begin euen heere that mutuall contract which we are to perfect in heauen Let vs giue him humbly thankes for his mercies Lett vs prepare our selues for the receauing of new fauours and with harts exalted aboue the earth let vs celebrate the Festiuities of heauen to the end that we may passe from these temporall Ioyes to those eternall wherein I humbly beseech our Lord that you may one day see your selfe Amen A letter of the Authour to a virgin lady who asked of him what Charitie was He answeares to her demaunde and shewes her the Loue and Charitie which she is to haue to God and her neighbours heere on earth by that loue and charitie whith the saints haue in heauen DEVOVT spouse of Christ our Lord you aske me in your letter what Charitie is to the end that you may
them he found not what he sought he may goe at last with an intyre hart to him who alone is able to impart more to the soule then it is able to receiue Your ladyship must not therefore be carryed away by that great errour which yet is imbraced by many great ones of this world who are mightily affected to their owne will and who abound with particular appetites and who thinke belike that they are to abound as much more then others in desire of things as they are heere of more eminent ranke state but for my part I see not what they gather from hence but greater torments For after the rate of the desire is the paine And as S. Bernard saith Let our proper will cease and there will noe more be any hell And soe wee may say let this proper will cease and there will not be in the world either any sinne or any sorrow For that which comes to vs is not in it selfe the thing which giues vs paine but the coming of it when we would not haue it come And therefore doth God require our harts of vs that soe hee may free them from many miseries and may giue vs in exchaunge his owne which is peaceable reposed and Ioyfull in tribulation And a grosse foole is hee who had rather liue in his owne straitnes then in the latitude of Almightie God and who had rather dye in himselfe then liue in life And if at any tyme or in any thing we haue committed this sinne and haue enlarged the raynes to our owne desires let vs humble our selues before the father of mercies acknowledging our sinnes and hoping for pardon at his hands and taking that paine which grew vpon vs by the inordinatenes of our appetite towards the discounting and discharging of our fault For by this meanes God is wont to take away our sinnes like one who should take the boughes or branches of a tree and setting them first on fire should apply them afterwards to the tree it selfe and soe burne it vpp by the rootes Much better it is for a sinner that hee should grow into â—aine by occasion of his sinne then into peace and rest For as S. Augustine faith there is not a more wofull thing then the temporall felicitie of a sinner And as for vs let vs learne heereafter to giue all our desires to God And as a stone falls downeward and as fire flyes vpward and as euery thing in sine makes towards his proper place soe let our harts fly at full speede towards the center thereof which is God Who would not be amased to behould a great rocky Mountaine hanging loose in the ayre without falling downe to his proper place and who will not wonder to see a hart which was created to repose and rest in God detaine it selfe in the ayre and lesse then ayre Therefore whether it be that wee cannot take true rest in any other then in God or because this Lord of ours deserues of himselfe all our loue since he is the loadestone to which all spiritts looke let vs not fall heereafter into such a folly as that whereof I spake lett vs not spott our honour let vs not committ such a treason against such a lord as that heereafter any other desire may enter into our harts but of him or for the loue of him And soe will the sadd cloudes of these vnprositable hart-breaking melancholies and these both vaine hopes vaine feares fly from these harts of ours in their place a new morning will rise which will giue vs Ioy. For to see the light of heaué is the cause of Ioy but the blinde man cannot discerne it Tob 5. For this did Tobias say what ioy cann I have in this life since I cannot see the light of heauen It is a great truth that noe man who is not indeede vnbeguiled concerning this world can haue any true ioy of hart for though he thinkes hee sees yet indeede it is but a sight of earth and not a light of heauen But after this other sight a man growes cured at the very roote It will be fitt that your ladyshipp doe not thinke to make the like exercises of minde in the way of spiritt as before now that you are subiect to an vnlike disposition of body And many haue ignorantly afflicted them selues for not hauing beene able to weigh what their strength and state would permitt It is cleere that with this condition of body wherein you are you must not thinke of keeping the same method which you held before nor doth our lord aske any such things at your hands since his will is very wise and tempered alsoe with great mercie and demands nothing of vs but that for which hee giues vs meanes And not onely hee will not reape where he doth not sowe but euen when hee sowes he is content to reape lesse then hee hath sowed Your ladyship must not be discóforted for that which you are not able to performe for you might as well put your selfe to paine because you haue noe wings where with to flye Doe not place the ioye of your hart vpon hauing consolation or vpon making Prayer but vpon the accomplishment of the will of our Lord. And since his pleasure is that the tyme which before you spent in praying shall now be spent in vomiting let it be soe in the name of God and lett his contentement be ours and lett vs more esteeme that he be pleased then we would to possesse heauen and earth And if we be troubled with any scruple that such or such a punishement came to vs for our hauing committed such or such a sinne and that God chastises vs now for the thing which wee inordinately desired before in that case what haue we more to doe then to cast our selues at his feete desiring both correction and pardon And our lord will either giue them both or els the pardon without the correction but neuer the correction without the pardon if the fault be not our owne We must therefore take any tribulation as an earnest penny or introduction to peace and prouided that there may be peace betweene God vs let any thing come which he will send One onely thing wee haue to feare in this case which is least wee should slubber ouer our negligences vnder this occasion and pretence of I can doe noe more Wee must heere looke vpon our selues with many eyes for this EVE which liues within vs is soe desirous to be cherished and regaled and to be walking vp and downe the garden and to be eating of the forbidden fruite that she wants not a thousand inuentiòs to make reason beleeue that she demaunds not any thing of superfluity but of meare necessitie and she is in a mightie chafe if they beleiue her not Madam there is neede heere of two things The one that when wee clerely see that wee are able in such cases to performe our spirituall exercises wee must not omitt
not onely in that which giues vs gust but in the contrary alsoe For otherwise what wonder is it to see the spouse obey her fellow spouse in that which giues contentment to her selfe since for that there is noe greate neede of loue for the respect of proper interest is able to breed such obedience as that Nor doe I know with what eyes Christ our lord will looke vpon such a spouse as that since he obeyed his Father Matth. 26. for her sake in cases of soe extreame affliction saying Let it be not as I wil but as thou wilt Whereas shee saith iust the contrary Not as thou wilt but as I will for shee will be squared out by another rule then her head was and will needs make the will of God which is eternally good to be crocked that it may conforme it selfe to her will which seekes not that which is truly good for her and which eternally is to be soe but that which seemes likely to giue her some little temporall delight A wake O Virgin out of that sleepe wherein you are for it is broad day Take the sheild of Faith Rom. 13. since God hath armed you with it and driue away these dismayes beleeuing that you are beloued though you be not regaled by our lord And turne your complaint backe vpon yourself since a little present disfauour is of more power towards the drawing you downe then the many fauours which are past to keepe you fast on foot You now doe iust the contrary of what you should For whereas it were reason that in this time of tribulation you should remember your comforts of former times beleiuing that the trouble which now you haue is but to trye what proportion of trust you repose in God You doe yet call it into question whether his loue were true to you then or noe beleiuing rather in the shew and leafe then in the substance and roote You haue noe iust cause to be dismayed though you bee afflicted For our lord is nor gone from you but he went away with a meaning onely to stande by and to see how you carried yourselfe like a mother who hides herselfe behind a hanging to obserue and heare what her childe sayth and doth whilst he thinkes that he hath lost her but then shortly shee steps out and makes much of him If you feare that he hath forsaken you and giuen you a bill of separation for the faults and ignorances into which you may haue fallen you are much deceiued For in farr greater falls then those Ierem. 3. his course hath beene to comfort soules by saying Thou hast committed fornication with many louers but yet retourne to me and I will receiue thee Though God like well that his seruants should know and weigh the faults into which they fall yet it is not his pleasure that they should be dismayed or too excessiuely afflicted by them Nay he esteemes this to be of more disseruice to him then the very fall it selfe Neither is it alsoe his pleasure that a sinne which is as little as a graine of seede should be made by vs as bigg as an Elephant and much lesse that we should make that to be a sinne wich indeed is none Soe that if you haue not fallen into sinne and yet will needs be troubled as if you had you offend against his truth And if you had fallen you should offend against his mercye by not beleiuing that he hath pardoned you You offend alsoe against his loue by suspecting that he hath forgotten you And lastly you offend against the Crosses which he hath sent to you esteeming them to be messengers and signes of wrath whereas indeed they are effects of his goodnes Take therefore the courage now at last to sally out from the owne narrow thought beleiue of God according to his goodnes as it imports his honour that you should doe And liue not still in such blindnes as to measure the large hand of God by the rules of your owne poore woefull hart Nor conceiue you that now he will be a rigorous iudge who at others times and in your greatest occasions hath beene a most indulgent Father to you It was not you vpon whome he looked when he pardoned you and called you but he regarded his owne blood which he shedd Nor doth he now stand hanging vpon your handes as if he loued you for them but you are placed and written in his as he sayth by his Prophet Isay And in those handes he loues you and with those handes he guards you euen then when you thinke he giues you buffets But it is his mercye which is your remedye and safety and noe meritt of your owne You are a Daughter and you are to possesse heauen by way of inheritance and not as a meere day labourer Confide in God and giue him glory in that he lodges his eyes vpon soe vnworthy a thing as you and for that he purposes to exalt soe base a creature to such height of glory And know that he hath noe neede of anything in you and that if he desire anything it is but that you may offer him that sacrifice of praise for your owne good confessing him to be your gratious pardoner and your piteous rayser vp from your falls and your Centinell who neuer sleepes when there is questioÌ„ eyther of doeing you fauours or of drawing good out of your sinnes and your most wise conductour who carries and saues you by such pathes as seeme in the eye of your ignoraunce to be very farr about or rather quite out of the way And all this he doth through his owne goodnes alone considering what himselfe is Which carries a greater weight towards your saluation then your wickednes doth towards your condemnation and you are bound to beleiue that soe it is And it must not seeme straunge to you that the greater surmounts the lesse and the Creatour the creature But let it stand for the last conclusion that as noe goodnes in you was the cause why God loued and called you to his seruice soe will he take care that your wickednes and weakenes shall not hinder the course of those mercies which he resolues to shew you for all eternity Continew your Communions and I beseech our Lord to giue them his benediction For my part I like well thereof and vpon the dayes which are sett downe communicate from time to time and God will giue you strength that it may doe you no hurt for he hath noe quarrel to you I beg that he may be your Loue since he is your Louer A Letter to a Lady who was a Religious woman and in great affliction He shewes how troubâ—es are the proofe of Faith and Loue in the seruants of God and how confident they ought to be of his diuine Maiesty in the middest of their troubles AS soone as I receiued your letter I offe red thankes to our Lord for hauing giuen you a signe that your vocation came
loues you with most perfect loue Let not your faith grow weake in these necessities and dangers nor your loue by the feeling of these afflictiōs when the fire is great the winde doth not onely not quench it but inflame it And soe when a soule loues God but in iest any little blast of aire puts it out as it would doe a candle But true loue growes vp in affliction for it applies more strength wherewith to endure the more weight it sees coming towardes it And because that loue is of God it conquers affliction and noe water could serue to quench that fire which comes downe from heauen Our lord called you that you might loue him and this loue is noe such thing as must giue you reason to regale your selfe But you must abhorre your selfe for the loue of Christ our lord and denye your selfe to confesse him and be cruell to your selfe that you may be sweet and acceptable to his diuine Maiesty If you loue and desire to enioy your selfe you must resolue to loose your selfe If you desire to see the face of God you must passe towardes him through the pikes If you care to lodge him in your hart cast your selfe away with all other creatures vpon him Our lord will haue you all alone and all afflicted not for any ill will he beares you but because since his owne naturall sonne was soe afflicted he likes not to see his adopted sonnes apparrelled with any other liuery then that There is nothing soe beautifull in his sight as to see the image of his onely begotten sonne in vs. And as there is nothing vpon which a soule can soe gladly looke as vpon our lord Iesus being tormented for loue of vs vpon the Crosse and the more afflicted and deformed we see him there the more beautifull he seemes to vs soe the more wee suffer for God the more beautifull wee shall seeme to him Nor is it much that a soule which desires to seeme handsome in the sight of God should adorne it selfe with such curious cleansing waters as may enamour his diuine Maiesty by his seeing her since the women of the world doe many thinges which put them to no small trouble and charge soe that they may content the sonnes of men Madam we must cast our skinnes before we shall be pleasing to Almighty God Gould is purified by fire and the terrestriall part being consumed it comes resplendent from the Crucible Let vs be ashamed of being soe weake in a busines which is soe great as to import the pleasing of Almighty God and if we vnderstood this poynt well indeed we should get heart euen to shed our blood for him that soe we might appeare fairer in his sight As a certaine holy Eremite considering this very thing and seeing a woman of the world goe soe gallant and soe well adorned he began to weepe and say Pardon me O lord pardon me I beseech thee for the curious dressing which this woman bestowes vpon her selfe in this one day to please the eyes of the world ouerstrips all the paines which I haue taken many yeares for the pleasing of thine Soe that my good lady this entreprise of loue is noe matter of wordes but of sorrow of bitter torments of the dishonour of the world of being abandoned by the creatures thereof sometimes euen of the seeming absence from the protection of the Creatour And notwithstanding all this a man must cary a good countenance and not be subiect to complaintes or deiection of heart but he must resemble that Martyr whose bowels they drew out of his body and whose flesh they tore from his bones with iron combes and yet there sounded noe word out of his mouth but the name of Iesus nor was there any thing in his hart but Blessed be God togeather with a purpose to endure yet more if God should dispose himselfe to send it To suffer for Christ our lord is great glory and God impartes not that but to such a one as whome he loues much A great mercy it is to giue a guilty person fillips and to release those scourges which were his dew and if that wherein we stand obliged to the iustice of God may be satisfied by what we can suffer heere in the name of God let vs fall to worke and let vs pay whatsoeuer his diuine Maiesty will impose soe that being gone from hence we may instantly by behold the face of God Let vs labour in this banishment of ours for instantly vpon the end thereof we shall be landed in our owne country S. Augustine saith that he wrongs a Martyr who prayes for him when he is dead for Martyrdome makes a soule fly streyght vp to heauen Let vs therefore labour to be Martyrs by our patience in affliction for though our persecution be not soe greiuous as theirs was for the time yet it lastes longer And we should indeed desire that this life might not be too recreatiue but a meere Martyrdome For such was the life of our Lord and such doth hee desire that ours should be There haue beene many martyrs for the faith of Christ our Lord but in fine many are gone to heauen who were not soe But we all must be the Martyrs of loue if we meane to goe thither This loue must torment vs and put vs to paine both because our selues offend God as also because others doe it This loue must depriue vs of the comforts of this life and must load our shoulders with a Crosse This loue must make vs first imbrace affliction and then passe ouer it in the flame which was kindled by our loue of God This makes vs endure dishonours without feeling them as wine doth a drunkard This loue is in this like all other loue that whosoeuer possesses it seekes not himself but his beloued who in our case is God alone and his holy will But this loue which now is soe cruell how full of compassion will it be afterwardes to him who hath bowed downe the head to receiue Martyrdome at the hand thereof A man cannot easily feele the force of loue wherewith it torments heere nor that wherewith it comforts afterwarde Let vs beleiue it since God hath said it and let vs walke on in the faith which we haue in his words for we haue yet a long way to make Choose which you had rather haue eyther long afflictions or els very great ones for noe man can scape suffering much eyther in one fashion or another Be not sorry for this for if God giue you much affliction it is because your many sinnes deserue it and soe you are to make your payment heere and I beseech our Lord that you may doe soe For if I should dye before you want to Purgatory perhaps you might want a freind whoe would carry soe much compassion to your soule as my felf and would take soe much care to free it and if you dye first I shall haue paine enough in thinking of you Excuse mee