others have the use of it onely the abuse of it he carries to judgement with him he hath made his friends as we say but he hath undone himself so that I may justly write this Motto upon every bagg This is the price of blood Shall I then treasure up the price of blood No Christ hath entrusted me as a Steward therefore what I have and need not Christ shall have in his members that need and have not So the transitory creatures when they shall slide away shall not carry me with them but when I shall pass away I shall carry them with me XII Meditat. GOod Lord what a miserable creature is a wicked man His very Manna turns to worms his very mercies make him miserable look upon him in his larger estate and you shall find either he hath not the benefit of enjoying it only the danger of keeping it and this adds not to his comfort or else if he doth enjoy it he doth so miserably abuse it that as one saith well he makes that which for use is but temporal for punishment to be eternal Alas the pleasures of it are quickly gone but the pain of it lyes in his bones for ever Lord therefore help me to improve thy mercies or else thy mercies will but improve my miseries XIV Meditat. WOuld'st thou know whether thy name be written in the Book of Life why then read what thou hast written in the Book of Conscience Thou needest not ask who shall ascend up into Heaven for to search the Records of Eternity thou mayest but descend down into thine own heart and their read what thou art and what thou shalt be Though Gods Book of Election and Reprobation be closed and kept above with God yet thy Book of Conscience that is open and kept below in thy very bosome and what thou writest here thou shalt be sure to read there If I write nothing in this Book but the black lines of sin I shall find nothing in Gods Book but the red lines of damnation But if I write Gods Word in the Book of Conscience I may be sure God hath written my Name in the Book of Life At the great Day of Judgement when all Books shall be opened there I shall either read the sweetest or the sharpest lines I will therefore so write here that I may not be ashamed to read hereafter XV. Meditat. BE not curious to search into the secrets of God pick not the Lock where he hath allowed no Key He that will be sifting every Cloud may be smitten with a Thunder-bolt and he that will be too familiar with Gods secrets may be over-whelmed in his judgements Adam would curiously increase his knowledge wherefore Adam shamefully lost his goodness the Bethshemites would needs pry into the Ark of God therefore the hand of God slew above fifty thousand of them Therefore hover not about this flame lest we scorch our wings for my part seeing God hath made me his Steward and not his Secretary I will carefully improve my self by what we have revealed and not curiously enquire into or after what he hath reserved XVI Meditat. NOthing is so sure as death and nothing so uncertain as the time I may be too old to live I can never be too young to dye I will therefore live every hour as if I were to dye the next XVII Meditat. AS the Tree falleth so it lyeth and where death strikes down there God layes out either for mercy or misery So that I may compare it to the Red Sea If I goe in an Israelite my landing shall be in glory and my rejoycing in triumph to see all mine enemies dead upon the Sea-shore but If I goe in an Aegyptian if I be on this side the Cloud on this side the Covenant and yet go in hardned among the Troops of Pharaoh Justice shall return in its full strength and an inundation of Judgement shall over-flow my soul for ever Or else I may compare it to the sleep of the ten Virgins of whom it is said they slumbred and slept we shall all fall into this sleep now if I lye down with the wise I shall goe in with the Bridegroom but if I sleep with the foolish without oyl in my lamp without grace in my soul I have closed the gates of mercy upon my soul for ever I see then this life is the time wherein I must go forth to meet the Lord this is the hour wherein I must do my work and that the day wherein I must be judged according to my works I know not how soon I may fall into this sleep Therefore Lord grant that I live every day in thy sight as I desire to appear the last day in thy presence XVIII Meditat. WHat is said of the Mariner in respect to his Ship that he alwayes sayles within four inches of death that may be said of the soul in relation to the body that it is alwayes in four inches of Eternity if the Ship splits then the Saylor sinks if our earthen vessels break the soul is gone plunged for ever into the bottomless Sea and bankless Ocean of Eternity This is the soul therefore that I desire to weep over that shall preposterously launch into the deep before he knows whether he shall sink or swim XIX Meditat. IT was a sad speech of a dying King Nondum caepi vivere jam cogor vivendi finem facere I must now dye before I begin to live It is the sad condition of many a dying man that their work is to do when their hour is come when the enemy is in the gate their weapons are to look for when death is at the door their graces are to look for when the Bridegroom is come their oyl is to buy the pursuer of blood is upon them and the City of refuge not so much as thought of by them In a word the seven years of plenty are wasted and no provision for the years of famine time is spent and nothing laid up for eternity I will therefore now finish every work I have to do that to dye might be the last work I have to finish XX. Meditat. THis impudent age of ours is grown so eminently uncivil that it is now a dayes counted one of the greatest shames to be ashamed of sin but for my part I had rather be accounted the Worlds fool than Gods enemy XXI Meditat. WOrldling thou deridest to see a Ceristian melting at the Word trembling at a sin I tell thee he is of a noble carriage he can triumph in death and in judgement it is not the King of fears that can appall him or Hell it self that can affright him but as a Conquerour over both he can leave the World with a smile O Death where is thy Sting O Hell where is thy victory That is his triumphant valediction and farewell But thou that gloriest so much because thou canst silence Conscience and out-face sin I tell thee thou art of a base
openly prophane and cunningly hypocritical meet both there at last only with this difference the way the one goeth through the Gate and the other stealeth through the Postern Lord Therefore whiles the Hypocrite cloaths himself with formality cloath me with sincerity It may be men will hate me but I care not so God love me my duties may be full of imperfection but yet they shall never want a gracious acceptance my way may be in trouble yet my rest shall be in glory LXV Meditat. AS great serenity of weather is a presage of an Earthquake and Whirlwind so great security of life is a great and sore prediction of the souls earthquake of trembling and astonishment of spirit he that takes up formality and sits down in security he that layes his foundation in the sand and there raises his building the fall of that house will be great and you may observe that Christian that is only brought out of open prophaneness into outward profession that hath taken down the frame of his gross iniquity to set up a superficial form of piety that hath covered his face with a surface of Religion no soul so subject to fall into the sleep of death as such a soul for while he thinks himself well he seeks not to be better so that he slumbers away his time ' untill the cry at midnight ' and then he startles and awakes and sees nothing but the bridge of mercy drawn up and the gates of Heaven shut in See with what confidence these Formalists in the Gospel come unto Christ they come under the relation of Servants and therefore they call upon him as their Master Lord Lord Have not we prophesied in thy Name and in thy Name cast cut Devils c. They made no question of salvation but show their works as if they would command it for their wages But hear Christs answer Then will I profess unto them I never knew you What Lord Never knew us That is strange Have not we heard thy Word received thy Sacraments and relieved thy Members and spake for Thee and prayed to Thee and done many things in thy Name and yet didst thou never know us No sayes Christ I never knew you but with an utter and absolute rejection I never knew you I never did approve you in all your specious wayes and glorious shews wherein you did so pride your selves because all was in formality and nothing in sincerity therefore depart from me They little thought of such a sad expulsion such a direful seperation And thus the out-side Christian because he hath reformed in many things and doth conform to many duties therefore with Agag he concludes the bitterness of death is past so he cloaths himself with smooth imaginations and deceitful apprehensions till he is hewen asunder before the Lord. I will not therefore in the least duty be formal or in the least duty be secure but with the blessed man be always fearing for I had rather tremble here than startle in Hell LXVI Meditat. DOth Sin present it self look upon it as it must be with tears or shall be in torments if thou committest the least sin and dyest impenitent thy soul is lost and thy redemption ceaseth for ever Or if thou committest this sin and dost repent yet what cloudings of the face of God What breakings of the bones with David What bitter pangs What painfull throws What shadows of Death What terrours of Hell may seize upon thee before thou canst make thy peace or settle thine assurance Wilt thou give way to sin because it is delectable or because it is pardonable Who loves poyson because it is sweet Or who drinks poyson because he may have an Antidote seeing it will work to his trouble if it work not out his life I have a precious soul shall I lose it for a lust I have a gracious God shall I venture him for a sin No I will alwayes reject that for which I am sure to lose my peace likely to lose my soul LXVII Meditat. WHat Heir travelling to take possession of a rich inheritance either lets a green Meadow or a pleasant Garden detain him or a black Cloud or a foul way dishearten him O my Soul Thou art travelling to take possession of a glorious inheritance among the Saints wilt thou turn aside to crop every flower Wilt thou stand still to hear every melodious sound Wilt thou leave thy way to drink of every gliding stream of carnal pleasure What is this but to view a Meadow and lose a mannor For a dying Flower to part with an eternal Crown For a flying vanity to lose an immortal felicity To forsake the way of Sion to gather one of the Apples of Sodom Or else O my Soul What if thy way be in tears and thy dayes in sorrow all clouded and a swelling Sea so that not only the lading of the Ship but thy very life is in danger yet here is enough to comfort thee that a good Father and a large portion a sweet rest and an everlasting refreshment will make amends for all Therefore Vain World promise not for I Will make no deviation because my way lyes to purer comforts and surer glory Vexing World threaten not for I will make no retarding because I am travelling to my Fathers to my Country to my Happiness LXVIII Meditat. AS the heart is so is the estate riches are but cyphers it is the mind that makes the sum What am I the nearer for a great estate if I am not contented with it desires of having will quickly eat up all the comforts and delights in possessing Therefore that Alexander that wants content is worse than Digenes that is contented with his wants It argued a rich mind in the Philosopher when walking through a Market and beholding varieties of good commodities yet could say Quà m multis rebus ego non egeo How many things do I not want But a richer mind in the Disciples that with a sweet complacency of spirit could acknowledge that as having nothing yet possessing all things I see all would be well if my heart were well I will therefore forme my heart to my estate so shall I have an estate according to my heart LXIX Meditat. When I remember saith one Job sitting on the Dunghill John hungering in the Wilderness St. Peter hanging on the Gibbet then I think how severely will God punish hereafter those Reprobates whom he loaths if he deals so sharply with his Children whom he loves if he do so much to his intimate friends in the time of Grace what will he do to his professed enemies in the day of Judgment You therefore that deride the miseries of the Saints Oh turn your jeers into fears for Hell sparkles out on Earth On the contrary Lord When I consider Herod in his pomp Haman in his honour Ahasuerus at his feast c. Then I think if God drop so much into a vessel of wrath what will he pour into a Vessel
of mercy If God do so much for a Slave on Earth what will he do in Heaven for a Son Therefore ye holy ones that are so offended at the flourishing of the wicked Oh leave your envy and see your glory for Heaven lyes above ground As the adversity of the Saints shall therefore give me a glimpse of Hell so the prosperity of the wicked shall give me a glance of Heaven LXX Meditat. GOd hath made all things for his elect and his elect for himself All is yours and you are Christs I will therefore serve my God in all things my self in nothing LXXI Meditat. THe Creature hath a goodness in it no further than it stands in reference to the chiefest good if you cut the stream off from the fountain it will quickly lose its sweetness pureness and it self at length the comforts and enjoyments of the wicked because they flow not from the spring of love they are but like dainty Channels mudded and imbittered with the wrath of God fading Brooks which at length will make the soul ashamed so that he which only enjoyes the creature in it self shall lose the creature and himself The purest and the sweetest mercies only run in the rivulets which are fed by the upper celestial springs of mercy Therefore O Lord Whatsoever I enjoy let it stream from the fountain of thy love and flow to me in the blood of thy Son LXXII Meditat. AS the Rivers which flow from the Sea run back again into the Sea So those blessings wich come from God must alwayes be employed for God What I have received from God in his mercy he must have it back again in his glory Therefore Lord Whatever I enjoy let me find thee in it and serve thee with it LXXIII Meditat. LOve should alwayes be the life of motion Amor meus pondus meum eo terror quocunque terror That soul goes true that hath true love to way it and that soul loves truly that hath a true object to center it a gracious spirit loves the Lord not because he does good but because he is good I will not weigh that friends affection that loves a fluent sweetness before an inherent goodness that soul that loves Christ for himself though you take away all weights else yet there is strength enough in love to move and constrain the soul O blessed be that Saint Lord that 's so taken with thy love that can truly say Were there neither Heaven nor Hell yet sin should be my Hell and holiness my Heaven LXXIV Meditat. TO speak the truth our Life what is it but a vital death The Poet being asked What he did Answered very well Paulatim morior I dye by little and little We do but then begin to live indeed when we begin to live to God our life before is but a race to the sepulcher but when we live to God then we are in our way to eternity As Alexander when he reckoned up his age counted not his years but his victories so when I take an account of my life I will not reckon up my time but my duties LXXV Meditat. O Thou precious Saint thou gracious Soul Three questions calls for thy answer thy answer for thy praise 1. What wast thou 2. What art thou 3. What shalt thou be 1. What wast thou A Rebel to thy God a Prodigal to thy Father a Slave to thy Lust an Alien from the Common-wealth of Israel 2. What art thou The Son of God the Spouse of Christ the Temple of the Holy Ghost begotten of the Immortal Seed born of the Blood Royal of Heaven made free among the Denizens of Sion written among the living of Jerusalem 3. What shalt thou be A glorious Saint a Companion of Cherubins a triumphant Victor a crowned King and an Attendant on the Lamb wheresoever he goeth a spectator of those soul-ravishing and ineffable excellencies that are in God the beholding of the King of glory face to face and enjoying immediate communion with Jesus Christ Nay more made one with Jesus Christ cloathed with his excellencies enthroned with his glories crowned with his eternity filled with his felicity The glory which thou hast given me I have given them Oh! Stand amazed at free grace and seeing God hath made thy soul a vessell filled with his mercy make thy self thy life a spring flowing with his praise LXXVI Meditat. THe Soul takes its rise from every creature to Heaven When I see the Stars Lord I think if one Star be of such magnitude what are the dimensions of those Heavens in which so many are fixed Nay how immensible is that God whom the Heaven of Heavens cannot contain When I see the Sun I think if one Sun make such a glorious and lustrious day what a glorious Heaven will that be wherein every Saint shall be a Sun and every Sun so farr brighter than this as this is brighter than our bodies And yet all these Suns are but a shadow to the Sun of righteousness Again when I consider the rising Sun how by the perfection of his beams he puts beauty life and joy upon the face of the whole Creation paints the Flowers guilds the Corn puts a flourish upon the Plants chears and exhillarates the Birds and makes the Valleys shout for joy I then think what shall be the shining beauty and soul ravishing delights of that soul upon which the brightness of thy glory shall fully rise and rest and into which the glorious splend our of thy beauty shall clearly shine to all eternity And when I consider the Air this is my thought That as here I cannot think at all unless I draw in this Air so I cannot think well at all except thou puts goodness into my thought Lord When I view the variety of thy Creatures and see one excell in beauty another in strength another in wisdome another in love and of others in swiftness Lord I think these are but beams of thy brightness and streams of thy fulness as they had only their being from thy hand so they have only their perfection in thy essence here they are mixt but there they are pure how happy then shall that soul be that enjoyes all perfection in God and God infinitely above all Lord I see stately buildings shady groves and crystal brooks and pleasant meadows and yet perhaps a wicked man the owner why then I think if Simeon goes away with such a mess what will Benjamin's portion be If the Children of the Concubines have so large a gift what shall be the inheritance of a Son of Promise Again when I look upon my self in temporals Lord I bless thee that I have a convenient sufficiency a goodly heritage my tents are by the wells of Elim my portion is from the hands of thy wisdome and though corruption may think it of the least yet wisdome it self knows it to be best Now Lord if thou givest me so much in the time of my vanity what wilt thou do
it that thou aim'st at Is it a full enjoyment of thy God Why then whil'st thou art present in this body be always drawing near to the Lord so when thou shalt be absent from this body then thou shalt be always present with the Lord. VI. Meditat. HOw apt many are at the sight of a rich Worldling to envy him for what he hath But for my part I rather pity him for what he wants he hath a Talent but it wants improvement he hath a Lamp but it wants Oyl he hath a Soul but it wants grace he hath the star but he wants the Sun he hath the Creature but he wants the Creator In his life he doth but float upon a Torrent of vanity which empties it self into an Ocean of vexation and after death then take this unprofitable servant bind him hand and foot and cast him into utter darkness goe set his Soul adrift for ever in an impetuous Lake of fire and brimstone Where now is the object of your envy It is not his silver that now will anchor him nor his gold that shall land him nor his friends that can comfort him therefore if he be worth the envying who is worth the pitying If this be felicity then give me misery Lord rather make me poor with a good heart than rich with a bad conscience VII Meditat. I Am frail and the World is fading but my Soul is immortal and God is eternal If I pitch upon the creature either they may take wings like an Eagle that flyeth towards Heaven or my Soul may take its way with the rich fool and go to Hell but if I choose God for my portion then mercy and goodness shall follow me whil'st I live and glory and eternity shall crown me when I dye I will therefore now leave that which I shall soon lose that so I may embrace that which I shall always enjoy VIII Meditat. I See the wicked have their Heaven here and their Hell hereafter and on the contrary good men have their Hell here and their Heaven hereafter Dives had his good things in this life and Lazarus evil now Lazarus is comforted and Dives is tormented I will not therefore envy the prosperity of the wicked nor be offended at the affliction of the righteous seeing the one is drawn in pomp to Hell whil'st the other swims in tears to Heaven IX Meditat. AS there is a sad mirth so there is a joyful mourning look upon the voluptuous man however laughter may appear in his face yet sadness ever centers in his heart his carnal delights are not only vain but vexing like Musick they play him into a melancholly fit whil'st the Banquet lasts the Sensualist sings but when the reckoning comes his spirit sinks his burning candle presently goes out in a stinking snuffe his shining Sun instantly sets in a watery cloud Solomon gives us the summe of it thus Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful and the end of that mirth is heaviness But now come to the penitential person as his tears are the joy of Angels so they are the joy of his heart and the solace of his soul the salter his tears the sweeter his comforts the deeper his sighs the fuller his joy the beams of consolation alwayes shine into this house of mourning so that his soul is in travel with a Barnabas and his labours bring forth the fruits of peace insomuch that I may truly say to mourn for sin is to weep for joy These pure and pleasant streams of consolation which is the worldlings wonder that flow and run in those Crystal rivers of eternal pleasure at Gods right hand they come from a weeping spring Why then is the mouth of wickedness opened against the way of holiness As if grace were the Calvary to intomb joy and impiety the very womb to bring forth felicity but if experience may be heard my soul hath felt both and I find such damps of spirit in worldly pleasures and such refreshing of soul in the depth of godly sorrow that I shall esteem one drop of such spiritual joy better than an Ocean of their carnal mirth X. Meditat. WHere thine happiness lyeth there thy portion lyeth If thou place thy felicity in a poor empty creature If with Judas thy spirit run so low that thou canst be content only to keep the Bagg or with Reuben for some worldly convenience to quarter on this side Jordan Why then unworthy Soul take that which is thine own and goe thy way If thou wilt be put off with a breath of honour a blaze of pleasure a snare of riches or a parcel of vanity Why then goe take thy fill look for no more from God Thou seest thy all when thou goest from hence then farewell all in the mean while remember this that when the breath shall be expired the blaze extinct and the soul for ever ensnared then thy eternity shall be spent in bewailing thy folly But now O precious Soul If thou place thy felicity in the highest excellency thy portion lyes in the chiefest good If it be thine happiness alwayes to behold the beauty of Gods face it shall be thy portion for ever to behold the beauty of Gods presence Lord let the Worldling then be sent away with some poor worldly trifles but for my part since thou hast made me capable of such heavenly excellencies I desire never to be put off with transitory vanities my happiness lyes only in thy self Therefore whatever I enjoy beside thy self I will take it as a blessing but not as a portion XI Meditat. UNsatiable desires in temporals make a poor man in spirituals a right Christian is only rich in outward things when he is contented with what he hath That man hath nothing of heavenly things that thirsteth not after more Worldly desires they alwayes leave us empty either we get not what we covet or else we are not satisfied with what we get but he that thirsteth after heavenly things is alwayes filled and the more he receives the more he desires The richest and choicest mercies that God can give sincere Desires will fetch them in What a glorious improvement might we make of this affection if we did but divert the streames and turn them Heaven-ward How many excellent mercies lye a ground and only want this tyde to bring them in Why then let I my desires run out in wast I do but make my self poor in thirsting after more of the World and more of the Creature whereas I might be rich if I would but count more of Grace and of Christ XII Meditat. USually when a worldling is dead we ask how rich he dyed Oh say many he dyed rich he hath left a great estate Alas the poor man hath slept his sleep lost his dream and now he awakes he finds nothing in his hand where lyes his golden heap Only the rust of that heap is gone to witness against him his Mammon fails him only the unrighteousness of it follows him