no comfort till I shall obteyne to see thee in thy celestiall bedd of state Thee who art my beloued and most beautifull Spouse my Lord and my God That beholding there in the society of such as thou hast chosen that glorious and admirable most beautifull countenance of thine which is topp full of all true sweetenes I may with profound humility adore thy Maiesty And then at last being replenished with the celestiall and vnspeakable iubilation of eternall ioy I may cry out with such as loue thee and say Beholde that which I aspired too I see That which I hoped for I haue That which I desired I inioy For to him am I conioyned in heauen whome being yet on earthe I loued witth my whole power I imbraced with entire affection and I inheared to with inuincible loue Him doe I praise adore and blesse who liueth raigneth God for euer and euer Amen CHAP. XXXVIII A Prayer to be made in affliction HAue mercy on me O Lord haue mercy on me deer Lord haue mercy on me most miserable sinner who cōmitt vnworthy things and doe endure such as I am worthy of for I am daily sinninge and daily feeling the scourge of sinn If I consider the euill which I cōmitt daily it is noe great matter which I suffer It is much wherein I offend and it is little which I endure Thou art lust O Lord and thy iudgment is right yea all thy iudgments are iust and true Thou art iust and true O Lord our God and there is noe iniquity in thee Thou O mercifull and Omnipotent Lord dost not afflict vs sinners cruelly and vniustly But when we were not thou didst make vs with thy hand of power and when we were lost through our owne fault thou didist admirablie restore vs by thy pitty and goodnes I know and am well assured that our life is not driuen on by rash and irregular motions but it is disposed and gouerned by thee O Lord our God So that thou hast a care of all butt especially of thy seruants who haue placed their whole hope in thy mercy I doe therefore beseeche and humbly pray thee that thou wilt not proceed with me according to my sinns whereby I haue deserued thy wrathe but accordinge to thyne owne great mercy which surpasseth the sinns of the whole world Thou O Lord who doest inflict exterior punishments vpon vs giue vs interior patience which may neuer faile that so thy praise may not departe from my mouth Haue mercy on me O Lord haue mercy on me and helpe me accordinge to what thou knowest to be necessary for me both in body and soule For thou knowest all things thou canst doe all things thou who liuest for euer CHAP. XXXIX A verie deuoute Prayer to God the Sonne O Lord Iesus Christe the Sonne of the liueing God who didest drinke vp that Calice of thy Passion thou being extēded vpon thy Crosse for the Redemption of all mortall men vouchsafe this day to giue me helpe Beholde I come poore to thee who art riche miserable to thee who art mercifull Let me not goe empty or despised from thee I am hungry now when I beginn let me not giue ouer empty of thee I come to thee almost starued let me not departe from thee vnfed And if now before I eat I sighe grant at least after I haue sighed that I may eate First of all O most sweete Iesus I confesse myne owne iniustice against my selfe before the magnificence of thy mercy Behold O Lord how I was conceaued and borne in sinne and thou didst wash me and sanctify me and after that I did yet pollute my selfe with greater sinnes For I was borne in Original sinn which was necessary to me but afterwards I weltred in actuall sinn which was voluntary Yet thou O Lord beinge not vnmindfull of thy mercy didst take me from the house of my father of flesh and blood and out of the Tabernacles of sinners and didst inspire me to follow thee with the generation of them who seeke thy face and who walke in the right way and who dwell amongst the Lillyes of chastity and who feed with thee at the table of profound pouerty And I vngratefull for so many benefits did after I had receaued Baptisme worke many wicked deeds and committed many execrable crymes And whereas I ought to haue remoued those former sinns I did after add new sinns to those These are my wickednesses O Lord whereby I haue deshonored thee defiled my selfe whome thou haste created after thyne owne Image and likenesse by pride vaine glorye and a number of other sinnes whereby my vnhappy soule is afflicted torne and destroyed Behold O Lord how my iniquityes haue ouergrowne my head and how they oppresse me as any heauy burden might doe And vnlesse thou whose property it is to haue mercy and to forgiue be pleased to put the hand of thy Maiesty vnder me I shall not faile to be miserably drowned in that bottomlesse pitt Consider O Lord God and see because thou art holy and behold how my enemy insulteth ouer me saying God hath forsaken him I will persecute him and take him for there is none to deliuer him But thou O Lord how long Conuert thy selfe to me and deliuer my soule and saue me for thy mercyes sake Haue mercy vpon thy Sonn whome thou didst begett weth noe small sorrow of thine and doe not so consider my wickednes as thereby to forgett thyne owne goodnes Who is that Father which will not deliuer his Sonne Or who is that Sonne whome the Father will not correct with the staffe of pitty Therefore O my Father and my Lord though it be true that I am a sinner yet I leaue not for all that to be thy Sonne because thou haste both made me and made me agayne As I haue sinned so doe thou reforme me and when thou shalt haue mended me by thy correction deliuer me then to thy Sonne Can the Mother forgett the Childe of her wombe Yet supposeing she could thou hast promised O Father that thou wilt not forgett him Behold I cry out and thou hearest me not I am tormented with sorrowe and thou comfortest me not What can I say or what shall I doe most wretched creature that I am I am vtterly without all comfort and I am cast of from the sight of thyne eyes Woe is me from how great happinesse into how great misery am I fallen Whither was I goeinge and yet where am I arriued where am I or rather where am I not To whome did I aspire and yet now what kinde of things be they for which I pant and sighe I haue sought for happinesse and behold I hawe mett wish infelicity Bebold I am euen dyinge and Iesus is not with me without fayle it is better for me not to be at all then not to be with Iesus it is better for me not to liue at all then to liue without life But thou O Lord Iesus and what
abhorr thee When therefore thou art angry thou dost not onely not strike the offenders but euē impartest blessings to them if they giue ouer offending O thou my God! the very horne of my saluation and my vpholder I wretched creature haue offended thee I haue done wickedly in thy sight I haue deserued thy wrathe I haue prouoked thy fury I haue sinned and thou hast suffred me I haue offended and thou yet endurest me If I repent thou pardonest if I returne thou receiuest nay more then this whilest I am deferring thou expectest me Thou dost reduce me when I err thou inuitest me when I resiste thou staiest for me when I am dull thou imbracest me when I returne Thou teachest me when I am ignorant thou cherrishest me when I am afflicted thou raisest me whilest I fall thou restorest me when I am fallen thou giuest me when I aske thou art found when I seeke thee and thou openest when I knock O Lord the God of my saluation behold I know not what I may alledge I know not what to answere I haue no refuge nor hole to retire my serfe into from thee Thou hast showed me the way of good life and thou hast giuen me knoweledge how to cōduct my selfe thou haste treatned me with the feare of hell thou hast allured me with the hope of the glory of heauen And now O Father of mercyes ô God of all consolation strike through my very flesh with thy feare to the end through feare I may auoide that which thou threatnest and restore to me the ioy of thy sauing grace that by loue I may obteyne the thinges which thou promisest O Lord my strength and my fundation my God my refuge my deliuerer inspire me with what I ought to thinke of thee teach me with what words I should inuoke thee impart the power of performeinge those workes wherby I may please thee I know there is one thing wherby thou art appeased an other which thou art not wont to despise To witt an afflicted soule is a sacrifice to thee and thou vouchsafest to accept an humble and contrite hart O my God and my helper inrich me I beseech thee with these guifts defend me against mine enemy by these graces impart this refreshinge to me against the burninge heat of sensualityes and lett this refuge be open to me against the importunity of all inordinate desires O Lord the strength of my saluatiō doe not permitt me to be of them who beleeue in thee for a season but in the tyme of temptation departe from thee Ouer shadow this head of mine in the day of battell O thou who art my hope in the tyme of affliction and my saueing health in the tyme of tribulation Behold ô Lord ô thou my light and my saluation I haue begged those things of thee which I neede I haue intimated those things which I apprehend and feare but my conscience fills me with remorse the secretts of my hart reprooue me and that which loue gathered together feare scattereth and that which zeale moues me too distrust drawes me from My sinns giue me terrour but thy pitty putts me into hope thy bounty exhorts me though myne owne malignity holds me back And that I may confesse a truth the images and representations of my old sinns be still obtrudeing themselues on my memory they hold me downe from presumeing too farr CHAP. III. The complainte of a man who is not heard by our Lord through his disobedience FOr in fine when a man is worthy of hate with what face shall he desire fauour To whome punishment is due what rash boldnes is it for him to expect glory He prouoketh his Iudge who instead of giueinge satisfaction for his offence pretends to be honored with rewards He insults vpon his Kinge who beinge obnoxious to punishment will aduenture to begg a prize which is not due to him And that foolish sonne would exasperate the tender hart of his father who hauinge reproached the same father would presume to vsurpe the honour of the inheritance before he had disposed himself to pennance What is this ô my deare Father which I say I haue done I haue deserued death and yet I aske life I haue offēded my souueraigne Kinge whose aide I doe yet thus impudently implore I haue despised my Iudge whome thus rashly I desire to be my helper Most insolently haue I refused so much as to harken to my Father whom yet I am presumeinge to haue for my defender Woe be vnto me how late doe I come woe be to me how slack am I in makeing haste woe be to me who am runninge still hauing receiued fresh wounds and yet vouchsafe not when I am wel to preuent the pearcinge of new arrowes I haue neglected to forsee the darts before they came but now that I behold my death at hand I am full of trouble I added wounds to wounds because I feared not to add crimes to crimes My ancient scarrs I haue broken through with new violence because my late iniquities haue corresponded with my ancient sinns and that which thy diuine phisick had cured and closed the itch of my frensy hath opened againe The skinn which being drawen ouer my wounds did conceale my infirmity hath putrified by the breaking out of filthy blood whilest that iniquity which I iterated did euacuate the mercy which thou dist grante For I well know how it is written In what houre soeuer the iust man shall sinn all his iustice shal be forgotten And now if the iustice of the iust man shal be forgotten when he falls how much more shall the peunance of a sinner be forgotten if he returne againe to comitt those sinns How often like a dogg haue I returned to my vomitt and like a sowe haue I weltered againe in the mire I may wel confesse it for it is impossible but I should remember it How many ignorant persons haue I taught the way how to sinn how many haue I persuaded who had no minde to it I haue compelled such as resisted and I haue consented to such as desired For how many haue I laide a snare who were already in the right way and for others who sought that way I haue digged a pitt and to the end that I might not abhorr the doeinge of these things I feared not to cast them out of my minde But thou ô iust Iudge who sealest vp the accounts of my sinns and who standest watchinge ouer all my wayes and haste numbered euery one of my stepps thou I say heldest thy peace thou hast euer beene silent and euer patient But woe is me thou wilt at length cry out like a woman who is in the torment of child-bedd CHAP. IV. The feare of the Iudge O God of Gods O Lord who art too hard for the malice and sinn of man I knowe that one day thou wilt appeare I know that thou wilt not be allwayes silent when the fire shall burn in thy sight and that
is become of thyne ancient mercyes wilt thou be anggry with me for euer Be thou appeased I beseeche thee and haue mercy on me and doe not turne thy face from me thou who for the redeeminge of me didst not turne thy face from such as did reproch and spitt at thee I confesse that I haue sinned and that my conscience calls for nothing but damnation and my pennance wil not serue for satisfaction but yet it is certayne that thy mercy doth surpasse all sinn Doe not I beseeche thee most deer Lord marite vp my wickednes against me to the end that thou maist enter into exact account with thy seruant but blott out my iniquity according to the multitude of thy mercyes woe be vnto me miserable creature when the day of Iugdment shall come and the booke of consciences shall be opened and it shal be said to me Behold the man and his workes what shall I doe then O Lord my God when the heauens will reueale my iniquityes and when the earth will rise vp against me Beholde I shal be able to make noe answeare but my head hanging downe through confusion I shall stand trembling and all confounded before thee Vvoe is me wretched creature what shal I say I will cry out to thee O Lord my God! For why should I consume my selfe with holding my peace and yet if I speake my greife will not be appeased But yet howsoeuer if I hold my peace I am inwardly tormented with extrcame bitternes Lament O my soule as the Widowe vseth to doe ouer the husband of her youth Howle thou miserable creature and cry out because thy spouse who is Christ our Lord hath dismissed thee O thou wrathe of the Omnipotent doe no thou rush downe vpon me for I am notable to receaue thee It is not in all the power I haue to be able to endure thee Haue mercy on me least I despaire and grant that I may repose in hope and if I haue committed that for which thou maiste condemne me yet thou haste not lost that for which thou art wont to saue sinfull men Thou O Lord desirest not the death of a sinner nor dost thou reioyce in the perdition of dyinge soules nay thou dyedst thy selfe to the end that dead men might liue and thy death hath killed the death of sinners And if they liued by thy death I beseech thee O Lord that I by the meanes of thy life may not dy Send forth thy hand from on highe and take me out of the hand of mine enemyes that they may not reioyce ouer me and say We haue deuoured him Who can distrust of thy mercy O deer Iesus since thou didest redeeme vs and reconcile vs to God by thy Blood when we were thine enemies Behold how being protected vnder the shadowe of thy mercy I come runninge to thy Throne of glory askinge pardon of thee and crying out and knocKinge till thou take pitty of me For if thou haste called vs to take the benefit of thy pardon when we sought it not how much more shall we obteyne it when we seeke it Doe not O most swete Iesus remember thy Iustice against this sinner but be mindfull of thy benignity towards thy creature Be not mindfull of thy wrathe against him who is guilty but be mindfull of thy mercy towards him who is in misery Forget the proude wretch who prouoketh thee and take pitty of that miserable man who inuoketh thee For what is Iesus but a Sauiour and therefore O Iesus I beseeche thee by thy selfe rise vp to help me and say vnto my soule I am thy saluation I presume much O Lord vpon thy goodnes because thy selfe teacheth me to aske to seeke and to knocke and therefor being admonished by that voyce of thyne I doe aske seeke and knocke And thou O Lord who biddest me aske make me receaue thou whoe aduisest me to seeke grant that I may finde thou who teachest me to knocke open to me who am knockinge And eonfirme me who am weake reduce me who am lost raise me to life who am dead and vouchsafe in thy good pleasure so to gouerne my sences my thoughts words and deeds that from hence forth I may serue thee and liue to thee and deliuer my selfe wholy vp into thy hand I know O my Lord that for thy onely haueinge made me I owe thee all my selfe and in that thou wert made Man for me and didest redeeme me I should owe so much more to thee then my selfe if I had more as thou art greater then he for whome thou gauest thy selfe But behold I haue no more nor yet can I giue thee what I haue without thee but doe thou take me and drawe me to thy selfe to thy imitation and loue as already I am thyne by creation and condition thou who euer liuest and reignest CHAP. XL. A profitable Prayer O Lord God Omnipotent who art Trine and One who art allwayes in all things who wert before all things and who art euer to be in all things God to whome be praise for euer to thee doe I commend for this day and for all my life herafter my soule my body my sight my hearinge my taste my smell and my touch All my thoughts affections speaches and actions all my exteriors and interiors my sense my vnderstanding and my memory my faith my hope and my perseuerance into the hands of thy power by day and night and in all houers and momenta Hearken to me O Holy Trinity and conserue me from all euill from all scandall and from all mortall sinne from all ambushes and vexation of Deuills and from all our enemyes visible and inuisible by the Prayers of the Patriarches by the Meritts of the Prophets by the suffrages of the Apostles by the constancy of the Martyrs by the Chastity of the Virgins and by the intercession of all the Saints who haue been pleasing to thee since the beginning of the World Expell from me all boasting of minde increase compounction of hart diminish my pride and perfect thou true humility in me Stirr me vp to shed tears mollify my hard and stony hart deliuer my soule O Lord from all the trecheryes of myne enimyes and conserue me in thy will Teach me O Lord to doe thy will for thou art my God Giue me O Lord perfect seesing and vnderstanding that I may be able to comprehend thy profound benignity Giue me grace to aske that which it may delight thee to heare and may be expedient for me to obteyne Giue me tears which may rise from my whole hart wherby the chaynes of my sinns may be dissolued Hearken O my Lord and my God hearken to what I aske and vouchsafe to grant it If thou despise me I perish if thou reguard me I liue if thou looke for innocency at my hands I am dead already and I stinke if thou looke vpon me with mercy though I stinke yet thou raisest me out of the graue Put that farr from me which thou
Creator This O deare Iesus is that celestial medicine this is the antidote of thy loue I beseech thee by those ancient mercyes of thyne infuse some such thing into my wounds as wherreby I casting vp the contagion of vipers which I haue suckt may be reintigrated to my former health and that vpon the taste of the Nectar of thy diuine sweetnes I may be drawen to despise the inticeinge vanities of this world with my whole hart and that by thy goodnes I may not be freighted with any aduersity which can happen here but being mindefull of that nobility which is to last for euer I may still loath the windes of this transitory world Lett nothinge I beseech thee be delightfull to me witheut thee Lett nothinge be pleasinge nothinge be pretious nothinge beautifull besides thee Lett all things I beseeche thee growe base odious without thee That which is contrary to thee lett it be troublesome to me and lett thy good pleasure be my eternall desire Lett it be à tedious thing to me to reioyce without thee and lett it delight me to be greiued for thee Lett thy very name be a ioy to my hart and lett the comfort of thy memory bring my tears which may be the bread I feed on day and night whilest I seeke thy lawe And lett that lawe be esteemed by me beyonde thousands of gold and siluer Lett it be an amiable thinge for me to obey thee and execrable to resiste thee I beseech thee ô my hope by all thy workes of pitty that thou wilt haue mercy vpon my sinns Make mine ears stand open to thy Commaundements And I beseech thee by thy holy Name lett not my hart decline towards the words of malice to the makeinge of excuses vpon excuses of my sinns and I beseech thee also by that admirable humility of thine that the foote of pride may not come towards me and that the hand of a sinner may not stirre me CHAP. VIII Here man exposeth the Passion of the Sonne to God the Father for the reconciliation of man BEholde O thou Omnipotent God the Father of my Lord dispose thou graciously and haue mercy on me I beseech thee I say since whatsoeuer I haue conceiued to be best I haue deuoutly offerred and whatsoeuer I haue found to be most excellent I haue humbly presented to thee I haue left nothing in my selfe which I haue not exposed to thy Maiesty Nothinge now remaines for me to adde for I haue fastned all my hope on thee I haue directed to thee thyne owne deare Sonne who is mine Aduocate I haue placed that glorious ofspringe of thine as a mediatour betweene thee and me I haue placed him as I said for an intercessour by whose meanes I hope for pardon I haue offred by these wordes of myne that Word of thine who as I said before was sent for the pardon of my sinnes and I haue recounted to thee the Passion of thy most Holy Sonne which I beleeue he hath endured for me I beleeue that the Deity was sent by thee and that it tooke vpon it selfe my humanity wherein he disdained not to suffer blowes fetters spittings and scornes yea euen the Crosse Nailes and Launce His Humanity was intertained with the cryes of infancy it was bound in by the swathinge cloathes of that tender age it was vexed by the labour and sweat of his youth it was extenuated also by fastinge afflicted by watchinge and wearied out by trauelling It was afterwardes loaden with stirpes and torne in sunder with other torments It was ranked amongst the dead and when once it was indued with the glory of Resurrection he introduced it into the ioyes of heauen This is that which must appease thee and this must propitiate for me Obserue therefore here O God with mercy what Sonne thou hast begotten and what slaue thou hast redeemed Obserue who is the Maker and despise not the thinge which he hath made Imbrace thou the sheepheard with ioy and with mercy looke vpon that sheepe which he hath brought home vpon his owne shoulders This is that most faithfull sheepheard who with many and greate laboures hath fought this poore sheepe which so long was erring vp and downe by those abrupt and rocky hills and by those precepices which ouerlooke those vallies And who when it was euen dyinge through the faintnesse to which it was growen by that tedious errour and exile yet as soone as he could meete with it he did with ioy putt himselfe vnderneath it and with an admirable exercise and strife of charity he raised it out of that profound pitt of confusion and haueinge imprisoned it in his owne bosome by deare imbracements he brought that one which he had lost to the ninty nine which remayned Behold O Lord my Kinge and my God Omnipotent Behold how the good Pastor brings thee that which thou haste committed to his charge He vndertooke the saluation of man by thy direction and he restores him to thee free from all infection Behold how thy most deare Sonne reconciles thy Creature to thee which had wandred from thee so farr Behold how that meeke Pastor of mine brings back to thy flocke that which the violent theefe had driuen away He restoreth that slaue to thy sight whome his owne conscience had made a fugitiue that he who of himselfe deserued punishment by meanes of him may obteyne pardon and that he to whome hell was due for his sinnes by the meanes of so great a Captaine may confide that he shal be recalled to his country I was well able O holy Father to offend thee of my selfe but of my selfe I was not able to appease thee Thy beloued Sonne O my God is become my helper participateinge of my humanity that he might cure my infirmity that so from whence the cause of mine offence was growen from thence he might offer the Sacrifice of praise to thee and might therby make me acceptable to thy mercy since he showeth himselfe sitting at thy right hand as a confort of my substance and nature Behold this is my hope this is all the confidence I haue If thou despise me as thou hast reason for my sinn yet looke back vpon me at least with mercy for the loue of thy beloued Sonne Consider that in thy Sonne wherby thou maisttake pitty vpon the slaue Behold the mistery of his Incarnation and pardon the sensuality of my conuersation As often as thou beholdest the wounds of thy blessed Sonne I beseech thee lett my wickednes shrink out of thy sight As often as thy pretious blood lookes read from that holy side I beseech thee that the spotts of my corruption may be washed away And as flesh prouoked thee to wrath so lett flesh I beseeche thee incline thee to mercy And in fine as flesh seduced vs to sinn so lett flesh bring vs back to pardon It is much that my impiety diserueth but yet it is much more which the piety of my Redeemer doth iustly exact My
labour Giueinge a beginninge to all things thy selfe haueinge noe beginninge makeing all things changeable beinge yet vnchangeable in thy selfe being infinite in thy greatenesse Omnipotent in thy power souuereigne in thy goodnesse inestimable in thy wisdome terrible in thy decrees iust in thy iudgements secret in thy thoughts true in thy wordes holy in thy workes plentifull in thy mercyes Towards sinners thou art most patiēt towards penitents thou art most pittifull Thou art euer the same eternall sempiternall immortall vnchangeable God whome neither space can dilate nor littlenesse of place can streighten nor any receptacle can keepe in or constraine nor the will vary nor partiality corrupt nether doe sad things afflict thee nor ioyfull things transport thee From whome neither forgetfullnes takes any thinge neither doth memory restore any thing neither doe things past passe away nor future things succeed To whome neither the first gaue beginninge nor the continuance of tyme increase nor shall any accident giue it any end But thou liuest for all eternity both before and in and through all aages And lett immortal praise and eternall glory and souuereigne power and supreame honor and a Kingdome Empire for all eternity remaine with thee through those infinite vnwearied and immortall ages of ages Amen CHAP. XIII How God the Father vouchsafed to helpe mankinde and of the Incarnation of the worde HItherto O Omnipotent God the beholder searcher of my hart I haue confessed the Omnipotency of thy Maiesty and the maiesty of thy Omnipotency But now as I beleeue with the hart to Iustice so will I confesse before thee with the mouth to saluation in what sort thou haste beene pleased at the end of many ages to releiue the misery of mankinde Thou O God and our onely Father wert neuer to be sent any whither But of the Sonne the Apostle writeth thus When the fullnes of tyme was come God sent his Sonne When he saith sent he doth sufficiently showe that then he came sent into this world when being borne of the euer B. Virgin Mary he became and appeared true and perfect man in flesh But what is that which that cheife of all the Euangelistes saith He was in the world and the world was made by him He was sent thither in his Humanity who was euer and is there by his Diuinity Now that this Mission is the worke of the whole blessed Trinity I confesse with my whole hart and mouth But how then didst thou loue vs O thou holy and good Father how much didst thou loue vs O most deare Creator who didst not euen spare thyne owne Sonne but didst deliuer him vp for vs wretched Creatures He was subiect to thee euen vnto the death and that the death of the Crosse takeinge the hand-writinge of our sinns and nailinge it to the same Crosse He crucified also sinn it selfe and killed death He who onely is free amongst the dead haueing power both to lay downe his life for vs and afterward to take it vp againe Hence was he both the conquerer and Sacryfice And therfor the Conquerer because the sacryfice for vs To thee he was the Preist and the Sacrifice and therfore the Preist because the Sacrifice Most iustly haue I a strong hope in him that thou for his sake who sitteth at thy right hand and is continually interceedinge for vs wilt cure all our languishing diseases For my infirmityes O Lord are great and many great they are and many The Prince of this world hath much to say against me I knowe and cōfesse it yet deliuer me I beseeche thee by that Redeemer of mine who sitteth at thy right hand in whome he was able to finde none of his malice By him I beseeche thee to iustify me by him who comitted noe sinn nor was there any guile found in his mouth I beseeche thee by that head of ours in whome there is noe one little spott deliuer this member which yet is his how weake and poore soeuer it be Deliuer me I beseeche thee from my sinns my vices my faults and my negligence Fill me with thy holy vertues make me of most innocent conuersation And grant for thy holy names sake that I may continue euen to the very end in those good workes which thou commaundest according to thy holy will CHAP. XIV Of the confidence which a soule ought to haue in our Lord Iesus in his Passion I Could easily haue despaired through the excesse of my greiuous sinns and of my infinite negligences if thy word O God had not become flesh and had not dwelt amongst vs. But now I dare not despaire because when we were enemyes we were reconciled by the death of thy Sonne how much more now we beinge already reconciled shall we be saued by him For all the hope and stay of all my confidence doth consist in that pretious blood of his which was shed for vs and for our saluation In him doe I take breath and hopeing firmely in him I earnestly desire to come to thee not haueinge any iustice of mine owne but that which is in thy Sonne our Lord Iesus-Christe We doe therfore thank thee O most Clement and benigne louer of mankind who when we were not didst powerfully create vs by Iesus-Christe thy Sonne our Lord. And whē we were lost by our owne fault thou didst admirably deliuer and recouer vs. I giue thankes to thy mercy many thanks doe I giue thee with the whole affection of my hart who through that vnspeakable charity wherewith thou didst vouchsafe with strange goodnes to loue vs miserable and vnworthy Creatures didst send thyne onely begotten Sonne from thyne owne bosome for our common good so to saue vs sinners who were then the sonns of wrath I giue thee thanks for his holy Incarnation and Natiuity and for his glorious Mother of whom he vouchsafed to assume flesh for vs and our saluation that as he was true God of God so he might also be true man of man I thanke thee for his Crosse and Passion for his death and Resurrection for his Ascension into heauen and for his seat of Maiesty at thy right hand For vpō the fortieth day after his Resurrection ascendinge aboue all the heauens whilest his Disciples were lookeing on and being seated at thy right hand he did according to his promisse powre forth the Holy Ghoste vpon the Children of adoption I thank thee for that most sacred effusion of his most pretious Blood wherby we are redeemed and withall for that Sacred and Holy and quickninge Mistery of his Body and Blood which dayly we eate and drinke in the Church and wherby we are washed and sanctified and made partakers of that one supreame diuinity I thank thee for this admirable and vnspeakable charity of thine wherby thou hast so loued and saued vs vnworthy creatures by that onely and beloued Sonne of thine For thou didst so loue the world as to giue thy onely begotten Sonne that euery one who beleeued
with thy finger in my hart the sweete memory of thy mellifluous Name which may neuer be blotted out againe Write thy will and thy lawe in the tables of my hart that I may haue both thy lawe and thy selfe O Lord of immense sweetnes at all tymes and places before myne eyes Burne vp my mynde with that fire of thyne which thou did'st send into the world and did'st desire that it might be much kindled that I may daily offer to thee abundance of tears the sacrifice of a troubled spirit and contrite hart O sweete Christe O deer Iesus as I desire and as with my whole hart I craue so giue me thy holy and chaste loue which may replenish and take and possesse me wholy And giue me that euident signe of thy loue a springing fountayne of tears which continually may flowe that my tears themselues may witnes thy loue to me and they may discouer and declare how deerly my soule loueth thee whilest through the excessiue sweetnes of that loue it cannot conteyne it selfe from tears I remember deare Lord that good woeman Anna who came to the Tabernacle to begg a sonne of thee of whome the Scripture saith that after her tears and prayers her countenance was cast no longer towardes seuerall things But whilest I call to mind her so great vertue and constancy I am racked with greife and confounded with shame because I finde my selfe too miserablie cast downe towards vanity But if she wept so bitterly and did so perseuer in weepinge who onely desired to haue a sonne how ought my soule to lament and continue in lamentation which seekes and loues God and earnesty desires to get home to him How ought such a soule lament and weepe who seeketh God day and night and is resolued to loue nothinge but Christ our Lord It is no lesse then a wōder if such a persons teares become not his bread day and night Looke back therefore and take pitty on me for the sorrowes of my hart are multiplyed Giue me of thy celestiall contemplation and despise not this sinfull soule for which thou dyedst Giue me I beseeche thee internall teares which may springe from the most secret corner of my hart whereby the chaines of my sinns may be broken and lett them euer fill my soule with celestiall ioy that I may obteyne some little portion in thy Kingdome if not in the Society of those true and perfect Moncks whose stepps I am not able to followe yet at least with deuout woeman I doe also call to minde the admirable deuotion of another woemā who sought thee with tender loue whē thou wert layd in the Sepulcher Who retired not from the sepulcher when the Disciples retired who satt downe there all afflicted and wounded she wept there long and much and riseing vp with many tears she did agayne and agayne play as it were the spy with her watchfull eyes vpon that solitary place to see if perhapps she might be able to finde thee any where whom she sought with such ardour of desire She had already entered into the sepulcher once and agayne but that which in it selfe seemes too much seemes not enough to one that loues The vertue of a good worke is perseuerance and because she loued thee beyond the rest and loueing wept and weeping sought and seeking perseuered therefore did she deserue to be the first of all others to finde the out and to speake with thee And not onely that but she was the first proclamer of thy glorious Resurrection to thy Disciples thy selfe thus directing and sweetly commaunding that it should be so Goe and will my brethren that they pass on into Gallile they shall see me there But now if that woeman wept and continued in weepinge who sought the liueing amongst the dead and who touched thee but with the hand of Faith how ought my soule to lamente and persiste in lamentation which beleeueth with the hart and confesseth with the mouth that thou art her redeemer praesiding now in heauen and regninge euery where How ought such a soule to lament and weepe which loues thee with her whole hart and couetts to see thee with her whole desire Thee who art the sole refuge and the onely hope of miserable creatures to whome one can neuer pray without hope of mercy Afford me this fauour I beseech thee for thyne owne sake for thy holy Name that as often as I thinke of thee speake of thee write of thee read of thee conferr of thee as often as I remember thee and am present with thee and offer praise and prayers and sacrifice to thee so often may I weepe abundantly and sweetely in thy presence that so my tears may be made my bread day and night Thou O King of glory and thou instructer of soules in all vertue haste taught vs both by doctrine and example that we are to lament and weepe sayinge Blessed are they who mourne for they shal be comforted Thou didest weepe ouer thy deceased freind and thou didest shedd abundant tears ouer that miserable Citty which was to perish And now O deare Iesus I beseech thee by those most pretious tears of thyne and by all those mercyes whereby thou didest vouchsafe so admirably to releyue vs wretched Creatures giue me the grace of tears which my soule doth greatly affect and couet For without thy guift I cannot haue it but be thou pleased to impart it to me by that holy Spirit of thyne which mollifyes the hard harts of sinners and giues them compunction to weepe as thou didest giue it to our Fathers whose footesteps I am to imitate that so I may lament my selfe duringe my whole life as they lamented themselues day and night And by theyr merits and prayers who pleased theo and did most deuoutly serue thee I beseeche thee take pitty vpon me thy most miserable and vnworthy seruant and grant me the grace of tears Grant me that superior kinde of irrigation or watering and that inferior also that my tears may be my bread day and night and that by the fire of sorrowe I may be made a fatt and marrowy Holocauste in thy sight O my God let me be all offerred vp vpon the altar of my hart and let me be receyued by thee as a most acceptable sacrifice to thee in the odour of sweetnes Grant me O most sweete Lord both a continuall and a cleere founteyne wherein this vncleane Holocauste may be cleansed For although I haue already offered my selfe to thee by thy fauour and grace yet in many things doe I offend dayly through my excessiue frailty Giue me therefore the grace of tears O blessed and amiable God through the greate sweetnes of thy loue and by the commemoration of thyne owne mercyes Prepare this table for thy seruant in thy sight putt it into my power that as often as I list I may be filled therewith Grant through thy pitty goodnes that this excellent and inebriating chalice may quench my thirste
hatest in me and ingrafte in me the spiritt of chastity continency that whatsoeuer I may chance to aske of thee yet in the very askeing of it I may not offend thee Take from me that which hurts and giue me that which helpes Giue me O Lord some Phisicke whereby my woundes may be cured O Lord giue me thy feare compunction of hart humility of minde and a pure conscience Grant O Lord that I may euer maintayne fraternal charity and that I may not forget mine owne sinne nor busy my selfe with those of other men Pardon my soule my sinns my crymes visite me who am weake cure me who am sicke strengthen me who am languishing and reuiue me who am dead Giue me a hart O Lord which may feare thee a will which may loue thee a minde which may vnderstand thee eares which may heare thee and eyes which may see thee Haue mercy on me O God haue mercy on me and looke downe on me from that holy seat of thy Maiesty and illuminate the darknes of my hart with the beame of thy splendor Giue me O Lord discretion that I may discerne betweene good and bade and grant that I may haue a vigilant minde O Lord I begg of thee the remission of all my sinns from whome and by whome propitiation may be granted me in the tyme of my necessity and of my greatest streights O holy and immacutate Virgin Mary the Mother of God the Mother of our Lord Iesus Chirste vouchsafe to interceede of me with him whose Temple thou deseruedst to be made Holy Michaell holy Gabriel holy Raphael O you holy Quires of Angells and Archangells of Patriarches and Prophetts of Apostles and Euangelists Martys and Confessors Preists and Leuitts Monckes and Virgins and of all the Saints I presume to begg of you hy him who chose you and by the contemplation of whome you are in such ioy that you will vouchsafe to make supplication to God himselfe for me that I may obteyne to be deliuered from the iawes of the Deuill and from eternall death Vouchsafe O Lord to grant me eternall life according to thy Clemency and most benigne mercy O Lord Iesus Christe grant concord to Preists and to Kings Bishopps and Princes who iudge iustly giue tranquillity and peace O Lord I beseech thee for the whole holy Catholike Church for men and woemen for Religious and secular people for all the gouernors of Christians and all such as beleeuing in thee doe labour for the holy loue of thee that they may obteyne perseuerance in theyr good workes Grant O Lord O Eternall Kinge chastity to Virgins continency to such as are dedicated to thee O Almighty God sanctimony to maried follâ—es pardon to sinners releife to orphans and widowes protection to the poore safe arriual to such as are in iourney comfort to such as mourne euerlasting rest to the faithfull soules departed a safe hauen to such as are at Sea to thy best seruants that they may continue in their vertue to them who are but indifferently good that they may growe better to them who are wicked and sinfull as to me poore wertch that they may quickly reforme themselues O most sweete and most mercyfull Lord Iesus Christe the Sonne of the liueinge God the Redeemer of the world I confesse my selfe to be a miserable sinner in all things and aboue all men but thou also O most mercifull and supreame Father who takest pitty vpon all doe not suffer me to become an alien from thy mercy O God thou King of Kinges who haste giuen me this truce of liueing till now grant me deuotion to reforme my selfe stirr vp in me a minde which may earnestly desire and seeke thee and loue thee aboue all things feare thee and doe thy will thou who art all euery where in Trinity and Vnity and that for euer Especially therefore I beseech thee O Lord O Holy Father who art glorious and blessed for euer that all they who remember me in their Prayers and who haue commended themselues to my vnworthy ones and who haue performed any office of charity or worke of mercy towards me and they also who are ioyned to me by kindred and by the naturall affection of flesh and blood and as well all they who are now aliue as those others who are departed may be mercifully and graciously gouerned by thee that they perish not Vouchsafe to giue succour to all the Christians who liue grant absolution with eternall rest to the faithfull who are dead And moreouer I doe in most particuler manner begg of thee O Lord thou who art Alpha and omega that when the last day and pointe of my life shall arriue thy selfe will vouchsafe to be my mercifull Iudge against that maligne accuser the Deuill and be thou my continuall defend or against the sleights of that ancient enemy of mine and make me continue in that holy heauen of thyne in the society of al the Angells and Saints thou who art blessed for euer and euer Amen CHAP. XLI A Prayer in memorie of the Passion of Christe our Lord. O Lord Iesus Christe my Redemption my mercy and my saluation I praise thee I giue thee thanks though they carry noe proportion to thy benefits Though they be very voide of deuotion though they be leane in respect of the fatnes of that most sweete loue of thee which I desire yet such as they are not such I confesse as I owe but such as I am able to conceaue my soule is now paying to thee O thou hope of my hart and thou vertue of my soule and the life and end of all my intentions lett thy most powerfull dignity supply that which my most fainte weaknes doth endeauour And if I haue not yet deserued so much of thee as to loue thee so much as I ought yet at least I haue an earnest desire to performe the same O thou my light thou seest my conscience because O Lord all my desires are before thee And if I endeauour to doe any thing which is good it is thou who bestowest it vpon me If that be good O Lord which thou inspirest or rather because the inclination which I haue to loue thee is good grant me that which it is thy will that I should desire and grant that I may obteyne to loue thee as much as thou requirest I giue thee praise and thankes for what I haue lest otherwise thy gnift might proue vnfruitfull to me which thou hast bestowed of thyne owne free will Perfect that which to hast begunn and giue me that through thy mercy which thou madest me desire without any merit of mine Conuert O most benigne Lord my dull heauinesse into a most feruent loue of thee To this O my most mercifull Lord my prayer my memory my meditation of thy benefitts doe all tend that thou maiste kindle thy loue in me Thy goodes O Lord created me thy mercy when I was created did cleanse me from original sinn thy patience after that
my selfe am growen to be wholy vayne And hence also it is O Lord that I reioyce not in thee and that I adheare not to thee For I am in exteriour things thou in interiour I am in temporall things thou in spirituall my minde is scattered spilt my thought is entertayned my speach is imployed vpon transitory obiects but thou O Lord doest dwell in the eternities and art eternity it selfe Thou art in heauen I on earth thou louest high and I lowe things thou celestiall I terrestriall when shall these contrarietyes be euer able to meete CHAP. II. Of the misery and frayletie of Man WRetch that I am when shall this crookednes of mine be straightened according to that rectitude of thyne Thou O Lord louest to be alone and I to be in multituds Thou louest to be in silence and I in noyse Thou louest truth and I loue vanity Thou louest purity and I vncleanenes What should I say more O Lord thou art truely good and I naughty thou art holy and I am wicked thou art happy and I vniust thou art light it selfe and I am truely blinde thou art life it selfe and I am dead thou art Phisicke and I am sicke thou art ioy and I am sorrow thou art soueraigne Truth and I am an vniuersality of vanitie as indeede all men liueinge are Woe be therefore to me O thou Creatour of myne what shall I say Yet hearken thou O my Creatour for I am thy creature and I am euen now vpon perishing I am thy creature and am euen very now vpon dying I am the worke of thy hands and I am euen now reduced to nothing I am the thing which thou haste made Thy hands O Lord haue made me and fashioned me those hands I say which were fastened to the Crosse with nayles for me Doe not O Lord despise the worke of those hands of thine I beseech thee behold the wounds which are in thine owne hands Behold O Lord how thou haste writtē me in thyne owne hāds Reade that wrightinge of thine and saue me Behold I thy creature doe sigh towards thee thou art my Creatour and doe thou refresh me Behold I who am the worke of thy hands cry out to thee thou art life it self doe thou quicken me Behold I whom thou haste framed am lookeing towards thee thou art my maker and therefore doe thou restore me Pardon me O Lord for my dayes are nothing And yet what is any man that he should presume to speake to his Creator who is God Pardon me whilest I am speakeing to thee forgiue thy slaue who presumes to open his mouth to soe great a Lord. But necessity hath noe lawe Greife forces me to speake the calamity which I endure constraynes me to cry out I am sicke and I cry out to my Physician I am blinde and I make haste towards the light I am dead and I aspire towards life Thou O Iesus of Nazareth art the Physician thou art the Light thou art life Haue mercy on me O thou Sonne of Dauid Take pitty on me O thou fountaine of mercy Giue eare ro thy poore creature which cryes out after thee O thou light which art passing by expect this blinde man reach forth thy hand to him that he may come to thee ard may see light in thy light O thou liueing life reuiue thou this dead man But yet who am I that am speakinge to thee Woe be to me O Lord haue mercy on me O Lord on me who am a rotten carkas the food of wormes a stinkeing pott and that matter whereon fyre must feede VVoe be to me O Lord wretched man that I am Man who being borne of a woeman is to liue but a little time and is to be filled with many miseries Man I say who is growen like to vanity it selfe and being cōpared to the foolish beasts is now also become like to them But yet still what am I a darke abysse a wretched peece of earth a childe of wrath a vessell euen made fitt for reproach begotten with impurity liueing in mysery and dying in agony Alas poore wretch what am I and yet againe alas what am I to be A vessell full of dunge a hollow shell full of putrefaction full of stinkeing filth which euen breedeth horrour Blynde poore naked subiect to a world of myseries and wholly ignorant eyther how I came into the world or how I shall gett out Miserable and mortall whose dayes passe away like a shadow whose life doth vanish like awayning Moone like a flower which groweth vpon a stalke and presently decayes Now it florisheth and in the turneing of a hande it withereth This life I say this frayle life of myne this transitory life this life which how muche the more it encreaseth soe much the more it decayes how much the more it proceedes so much the nearer it drawes to death A deceiptfull life and like to a shadow and all besett with the very snares of death Now I reioyce and euen now againe I am sadd now I am strong and now againe I am weake now I liue and now I am about to dye now I laugh and now againe I weepe now I seeme happy whilest yet I am all wayes miserable And soe subiect are all things to change vpon all warninges as that there is scarce any one of them which continueth permanent for the space of an houre Here feare and apprehension and hunger and thirst and heate and cold and sickenes of body and sorrow of mynd is in all aboundance And all these are followed by vntimely death which snatcheth men out of the world by a thousand wayes It kills one man with a feauer another man is oppressed with greife of mynd hunger consumeth one thirst makes an end of another one man is drowned by water another man is strangled by a halter another is destroyed by fyre another is deuowred by wilde beasts One is killed by the sword another is corrupted by poyson and another ends his miserable life by the surprise of some strange and sodayne feare And now besides and beyond all these things a huge misery it is that as nothing is more certayn then death soe of nothing is a man more vncertayn then of the tyme when he shal dy When he thinkes he standeth fastest he is tripped vp and his hope perisheth Noe man can tel eyther when or where or how he shall dye and yet he is sure enough that dye he must Behold O Lord how great this misery of man is wherein I am placed yet I am voyd of feare How great the calamite is which I endure and yet I am farre from greife nor doe I cry out to thee But I will cry out O Lord before I passe away to the end that I may not passe away but remayne in thee I will therfore declare I will declare my misery I will not be ashamed to confesse my basenes before thee Helpe me O thou my strength whereby I am raised succour me
affections of the mind to the dominion therof Loue alone is sufficient is pleasing of it selfe and for it selfe Loue is the merit it is the reward it is the cause it is the fruit it is also the vse of the fruit for by loue we are conioyned to God Loue maketh that two spirits grow to be one Loue maketh that the same thinges be willed and not willed by them Loue maketh vs first to order and compose our liues afterward it enableth vs to consider of all thinges which are present as if they where absent and in the third place it enableth vs to behold internall and supernall thinges with a cleane and pure eye of the hart By loue we are first taught how to vse those contentements well which may be taken in the world afterward those worldly contentements grow to be despised and at the last euen the secretes of God come to be disclosed CHAP. XIX What it is which God requireth of vs that so we may be like him selfe GOD the Father is loue God the Sonne is loue God the holy Ghost is the loue of the Father and the Sonne This charity this loue doth require somewhat of vs which is like that that is to say it requireth charity whereby as by a kind of coniunctiō in bloud we may be associated and ioyned to him Loue forgets that supreme dignity it considers not the reuerence which it is bound to beare He that loues doth of himselfe draw confidently neere to God and expresseth himselfe in a familiar manner without perturbation or feare He looseth his labour and liues in vane who loues not But he that loueth doth still carry his eyes erected towardes God whome he loueth whom he desireth vpon whom he meditateth in whome he delighteth by whome he is fedd and euen made fat Such a louing and deuout person doth so sing and so he reades and in all his actions he is so ful of circumspection and care as if God were euer present before his eyes and so indeed he is He doth so pray as if he were taken and presented before the face of that Maiesty in his soueraigne Thron Where thousands of thousands are seruing him and a million of thousands are present with him When loue visiteth a soule it awaketh her if she be asleep it counselleth softneth and doth wound the hart It illuminateth those thinges which are darke it vnlocketh those thinges which are shut vp it inflameth those things which are cold it mitigateth a harsh vntoward impatient minde it puts sinne to flight it represseth all carnall affection it amendeth manners it reformeth and reneweth the spirit and it bridleth the light acts and euill motions of slippery youth All these thinges are done by loue when it is present but vpon the departure thereof the soule begins already to be faint weake as if the fire were withdrawne from vnderneath a pot which had beene seething CHAP. XX. Of the confidence of a soule which loueth God A Great thing is loue wherby the soule of her selfe doth confidently approach to God doth constantly inheare to God doth familiarly aske questions of God and consulteth with him vpon all occasions The soule which loueth God can neither thinke or speake any other thing she contemneth all thinges else she loatheth all Whatsoeuer she considereth whatsoeuer she saith it smells of loue it sauours of loue so truly doth the loue of God make her all his owne Whoso euer desires to haue the knowledge of God let him loue In vaine doth any man giue himselfe to reading to meditating to preaching to praying if he do not loue The loue of God begetteth loue in a soule makes her bend her selfe towards him God loueth to the end that he may be loued againe When he loueth he desireth no other thing but to be beloued as knowing that they who loue him are to be made happy by that loue The soule which loues doth renounce al her owne particular affections and doth wholy apply her self to loue that so she may be able to pay loue with loue And yet when she shall haue spent whatsoeuer she either hath or is vpon the loue of that torrent which flowes out from that ouer tunning fontaine of loue we must take heed of thinking that there is any equality of springing plenty afforded betweene that loue and this loue betweene God and the soule betweene the creatour and the creature And yet on the other side if the soule do loue as much as it can there can be nothing said to be wanting where al is giuen Let not that soule feare which loues but let that other tremble which loueth not The soule which loues is caried on by praiers she is drawn by her desirs she dissembleth her merits she shuts her eyes against his Maiesty she opens them to delight in his beauty she lodgeth her self in him who is her sauing health and she treateth with him after a confident manner By loue the soule doth step aside and doth grow into excesse beyond the senses of the body so that she which feeleth God doth no longer feele her selfe This is done when the soule being allured by the vnspeakeable sweetnes of God doth steale her selfe as it were from her selfe or rather when she is forcibly carried and so doth slip from her selfe that she may inioy God with supreme delight Nothing were so highly sweet if withal it were not extremely shorte Loue giueth familiarity with God familiarity giues a daring to aoproach that daring giueth gust that gust giueth hunger The soule which is touched with the loue of God can think of nothing els can desire nothing els but doth often sigh and say As the Hart desireth the fountains of water so doth my soule desire thee O my God CHAP. XXI What God did for man GOD for the loue of men came downe to men he came into men and he was made man The inuisible God was drawne by loue to become like his slaues Through loue he was wounded for our sinnes Weake and wicked men may finde a safe strong retreate in the woūds of our Sauiour There do I securely dwelle for I see his very bowells through his wounds VVhatsoeuer is wanting to me I fetch from those wounds of my Lord which flow with mercy nor want they holes through which it may be able to flow By those holes which were made in his body we may discerne the very secrets of his hart we may discerne a great mystery of goodnes we may discerne the bowells of the mercy of our God where with that Orient from on high hath visited us The wounds of Iesus Christ are full of mercy full of pitty full of suauity and full of charity Men digged through his handes and feet they transpierced his side with a launce By these ouertures I haue meanes to tast how sweet my Lord God is for indeed he is meeke and sweet of aboundant mercy to all such as call vpon him in