c. God is a single spirit farre excelling the singlenes of any Angel for an Angel as also the soule of man or woman hath three wants of perfect singlenesse First in euery angel there is a beeing for it is a certain seuerall thing There is also in the same angel a possibilitie to bee changed into some other thing yea into nothing because the angel is vnder God and God can doe vnto it whatsoeuer hee will But there is no possibilitie of change in God because hee is vnder none Secondly euery angel is that which it is in seuerall and thereby he differeth and is knowne from all other angels And yet the same kinde of nature whereby hee is that which he is is also in other angels But the nature of God whereby hee is that which he is is wholly and onely in himselfe and therefore it is altogether one and the same with that which he is Thirdly in an Angell vnto his spirituall nature diuerse things are added and ioyned which may also be taken or put away as wisedome holynesse power c. But all perfections are in God as in the fountaine and though they seeme diuerse vnto vs yea some appeare to be quite contrary one to the other as most seuere iustice and most pitifull mercie yet all these things in God are but only one thing and that is his most single nature essence and beeing The truth of this we may in some sort perceiue by the shining sun for it appeareth vnto our eies to bee a very single pure thing all that we can see in it is nothing els but light most exceeding pure cleare and peircing light yet many sundry vertues are in this light It shineth it heateth it quickneth man beast foule fish fruit yea it seemeth to worke contraries as softning wax hardening clay These and many other things worketh the single light of the shining sunne Much more excellent is the God that made the Sunne In his most single nature is all vertue abilitie and efficacie His name be blessed Amen God is a durable spirit not onely without ending for so hath he made Angels and soules yea and so he will make the bodies of men women and children to be after the resurrectiō but also the Lord God is without beginning Therefore Dauid saith vnto him Psalm 19.2 From euerlasting to euerlasting thou art God God is vnmeasurable that is of such an exceeding infinitenes that he filleth yea surpasseth the whole compasse of heauen and earth Ier. 23.24 2. King 8.27 Yet not so that one part of him is one where and an other els where but God is wholly in all the whole world and wholly in euery part and place of the world Then why is it said that God is in heauen And why are we willed to lift vp our hearts towards heauen when we pray vnto him Because his pleasure is to manifest himselfe in glory cheifely in heauen and from heauen Why doth the Bible say that God is with good folke and not with bad Because he doth graciously acquaint himselfe with those that serue him but he will not be knowne that he is in the company of naughty people because he hateth their behauiour Yet he is where they are heedfully marketh all that they thinke say or doe purposing to call them to an account and to give iudgement vpon them accordding to the practise of their liues God is mightie most mighty almightie He is well able to doe any worke of power either by himselfe without meanes as hee made the world or by means as he drownd the world with water Sometime his pleasure is to worke by meanes but aboue the nature power of the meanes as when he clensed a man frō the leprosie by the water of the riuer Iordan 2. Kin. 5.14 Sometime he stoppeth the power of the meanes as when three of his seruants were by a tyrant cast into a most hot burning fierie furnace for hee tooke such order that the extreame burning heat had no power vpon them though it mischeiued those which put them into the furnace Dan. 3 God can work in what measure of power he will The least measure of his power is stronger then all the power of man 1. Cor. 1.25 Hee is able to make the least bit of bread to giue so much nourishment as a whole loafe It pleaseth him sometime to work more by one man then by another yea more by some one then by many other 1. Cor. 15.10 The power of God is endlesse limited onely by his owne will for whatsoeuer his pleasure is to doe that he doth Psal 135.6 This the poore leperous man beleeued when hee said vnto the sonne of God Matth. 8.2 Lord if thou wilt thou canst make me cleane whereunto he graciously answered saying I will be thou clean and presently the Lord touching him with his hand the foule disease was cleane gone God is wise he onely is wise Rom. 16.27 The wisedome of Angels and men is his gift It is hee that giueth wisedome to the wise and knowledge vnto them that know vnderstanding Dan. 2.21 There is no number of his vnderstanding it is endles Psal 147.5 From the beginning of the world he foreknew all things which should come to passe euen vntill the ende c. Act. 15.18 He knew what was the very best way to be takē in making continuing altering doing or suffering any thing Psal 104.24 Though he may doe what he will because he is the most high Soueraigne Lord of all things yet he doth nothing hee suffereth nothing without most excellent good reason and yet I must not thereupon presume to sinne for as hee hath reason to suffer a man to sinne so hee hath reason moouing him to punish the partie that sinneth yea such reason that S. Peter saith the righteous be scarcely saued 1. Pet. 4.18 God will beat sinne out of them before they die God is holy most holy altogether holy pure cleane and free from any staine of euill He cannot be tempted with euill Iam. 13. Then how came it to passe that so many angels sinned and turned to be deuils Also how came mā to be a sinner God made the Angels and the first man and woman very holy and well able to haue kept themselues so if they would Yea but why did he suffer them to sinne seeing that sinne is most contrarie vnto his holy nature Because he thereupon took occasiō to shew his dreadfull iustice in punishing some and the most wonderfull ioyning of mercy and iustice in sauing others The iustice of God requireth that euery Angel man woman and child be tried and iudged by that which is in them whether it be righteousnesse or sinne Rom. 2.11 the righteous to be saued and the sinner damned So hee condemned all the sinning Angels and so he will condemne a great many of Adams children He might haue cast them al away because they are a guiltie corrupted brood not only children of a traytor
Trent with whom I had formerly bin for my windie disease and by meanes of M. Iohn Batte Vicar of Newarke now deceased my old schoolemaster had receiued much fauour from him he sent me word that as he could cōiecture by my letter for I was not able to ride vnto him I was in danger of some deadly fretting in my kidnies by reason of grauell stones which was not without difficulty to be preuented in a setled course of Physicke I had little money to bestow and no great minde to take bodily medicine before my soule were cured by the physicke of Iesus Christ crucified The greiuous disease of my water increasing and mine olde splennitiue windinesse filling my bodie and head together with an extreame faintnesse the 19. day of Aprill I did with very fearefull conditions bind my selfe vnto God that I would diligently endeauour to order my selfe according vnto these rules following My first rule First I must be alwaies mindefull that I the worst of all sinners am before the face of god who seeth the whole setled wicked behauiour of mine heart who hath all my euill thoughts words and deedes in perfect remembrance whose holines extreamly hateth all manner of sinne whose righteousnesse will not suffer any sinne to be vnpunished whose prayer is able to torment me euerlastingly with most vnspeakeable paine in body and soule Hereupon I must conceiue that great is the wrath whereunto I haue prouoked God and that therefore great is the vengeance which iustly he may powre vpon me for euer I must labour that this double conceit may worke in my heart a double affection sorrow for the displeasure of God and feare of his vengeance This is the way to breake mine heart and a broken heart is a sacrifice vnto God Psal 51.17 Inward humblenesse cannot but outwardly shew it selfe and so it will bee the more easily setled and the more deepely rooted in mine heart and soule I must verie carefully reforme my vaine minde vnsad countenance and talkatiue tongue els I cannot be rightly humbled in the sight of God My second rule Secondly I must thinke vpon the great mercie mighty power and most ioyfull blisse which God in Iesus Christ proffereth vnto all those that will forsake sinne beleeue the Gospel mercie to forgiue their sinnes power to free them from the inclination of sinne and blisse to fill them full of all delightfull pleasure for euermore Hereupon I must striue to haue a most hungry and thirsty desire of the grace of God My third rule Thirdly I must giue al diligence that by prayer I may obtaine of God the spirit of grace To this purpose I must bee alwaies prayingly and crauingly affected I must impart my goods vnto the poor that I may haue the help of their prayers Luk. 16.9 Also I must entreate all those which seeme to be acquainted with God that they will pray for me vnto him Iam. 5.16 Had I any warrant to intreate the Saints in heauen to pray for me I would gladly doe it But I haue none My beleefe is that no glorified soule no not the blessed virgin-mother intermedleth with any businesse in this world And I am fully perswaded that it is the safer way so to beleeue It seemeth vnto me that Romane catholiks of the Popes religion vnder colour of in treating Saints to pray for them do indeed worship them call vpon them make vowes and offer spirituall sacrifices vnto them as vnto so many he-gods and she-gods I beseech the Lord God to inlighten their minds and rectifie their affections according vnto true holines and pure deuotion Amen Amen I must duely and deuoutly pray vnto God at least three times euery day I haue great need to pray euery houre because of the hardnesse of mine heart and deathfulnesse of my bodie I must oftentimes so farre as my weake bodie will endure pray fasting and so long as I am able humbly kneeling I must in prayer speake vnto God very leasurely and reuerently I must so earnestly mind that I speake vnto him as I were face to face with him When I beginne any set prayer I will worship the Lord my God most humbly lifting vp my minde towards his glorious maiestie in heauen and bowing downe my body towards the ground so rest vpon my knees My prayer early in the morning O Almightie most blessed and glorious Lord God I a most wicked sinneful sinner heartily acknowledging that thou in most wonderfull goodnesse hast made mee a liuing soule in thine own likenes hast proffered eueralasting saluation vnto me hast long time endured my rebellious wickednesse and hitherto preserued me aliue doe humbly beseech thee to giue grace that I may henceforth vntill the end and in the ending of my life very zealously glorifie thy name in the practise of true repentance Graunt the same grace I heartily pray thee vnto euery man woman and child that wanteth it that all people in all places may ioyfully praise thee thorough thine onely Sonne Iesus Christ To whom with thee ô Father and with the holy Ghost three persons one only Lord God be all praise honour glorie worship and humble seruice now and for euermore Amen About nine of the clocke in the forenoone I must pray thus Oh Almighty Lord God who louest holines and hatest sin and therefore hast prepared euerlasting blisse in heauē for thy holy seruants endles torment in hel for sinners I the worst of all sinners doe humbly beseech thee that for thy onely sonne Iesus Christs sake thou wilt giue me thy grace of true repentance saith vnfained that so I may obtaine of thee forgiuenesse of all my sinnes and the lowest place among all them which shall be saued Amen O Lord innumerable sinnes haue come out of mine heart I have filled the world with the cursed fruits of my wickednesse I beseech thee to put al my sinnes quite away out of thy sight and out of the minds of all people that thou mayest be no longer displeased nor any man woman or child any more harmed by meanes of me O Lord I haue caused much euill vnto many folke and the good which I should haue caused I haue wickedly neglected I beseech thee to giue vnto euery one which hath been any way harmed or neglected of mee a large recompence and so farre as may be to work the same recompence vnto them by mee the residue by those meanes which thou knowest to be fittest for that purpose O Lord many people haue beene beneficiall vnto mee because thy will was that they should be so I humbly thanke thee for it beseeching thy gracious goodnesse to giue a bountifull reward vnto euerie one that hath benefited mee in deede word or desire and to make mee so thankefull vnto them as a right Christian ought to be O Lord if any haue either in way of friendship towards mee or in manner of enmitie against mee or by any meanes touching me displeased thee I beseech thee to pardon them
rather endure any losse or dammage then yeeld vnto that sinne And I must assure my selfe that how stronglie soeuer I am tempted God will most certainly enable me to endure that temptation vnlesse I basely consent vnto it When by the grace of God I am freed frō any temptation I must praise him thus O the Father of mercy and the fountaine of power I a most weake wretch not able to resist the least motion of sinne that may be do heartily thanke thee for this gracious deliuerance which thou hast vouchsafed to giue vnto mee O good Lord I beseech thee to continue thy grace towards mee that I may alwaies be more and more thankfull vnto thee thorough Iesus Christ thine only Sonne my Lord and Sauiour Amen If thorough want of heed or by weake resistance I fall into any sinne I must so soone as I know it make my confession and prayer vnto God thus O most holy and righteous Lord God I most damnable sinner haue now sinned against thee thus and thus c. I crie thee mercy O most mercifull Father beseeching thee to giue mee true repentance pardon and freedome from this and from all my sinnes thorough thine onely Sonne Iesus Christ my Lord and Sauiour Amen Moreouer because I am much giuen to sinne openly that is in the sight or in the hearing of some one or many of Gods people which is a great meanes to draw them into sinne or to hardē them in sinne or at least to discourage those which make conscience of their conuersation vnto euery one that shall heare or see me sinning I must so soone as I perceiue my sinne with all possible conuenient speed very plainly and repentingly confesse it thus Such a thing you saw me doe or Such a thing you heard me say I beseech you for Gods sake to take great heed that it cause no euil effect in you for it was a sinne against God and therefore I cry God mercy for it Thus I must confesse any open fault yea if it be commited in preaching writing or howsoeuer A pulpit fault in the same pulpit and to the same company must bee confessed These be my rules for the practise of zealous reformation that I may be in very deed a member and minister of the reformed Church Now I will declare vnto you how I endeauoured to bring my selfe into those foure Rules and with what successe All the rest of Aprill I in a manner lost endeauouring very little or nothing but I could haue no quietnesse in minde longer then I intended that busines The first of May died in our parish a gentleman one M. Villers of the same tormenting disease which I haue he had bin long time very greiuously pained with it Euery day specially in the morning it plagued me Wherefore to ease the paine I dranke much small drinke and sometime water yea now and then mine own water because I was told that so I should be cased But though I dranke neuer so much after it was passed thorough my bodie the paine came againe Yet notwithstanding all this I could not keep my selfe in the company of God specially when I was together with any body for then I fell into a deale of idle vnholy communication The eight of May beeing Sabbath day in the euening these foure were together M. Sidney Zouch M. Mathew Bate Philip Aram Richard Kilby we dranke at M. Matth. Bates house who at the parting said thus vnto vs It is great oddes that not all wee foure shal be aliue this day twelue moneth I roundly took the words to my self iudging that the first which must be gone was I and that god had put into his mind to say those words for my monishment Yet see the setled wickednesse of mine heart after my departure from thē I met with other company and so merily delighted my selfe with prophane talke that when I came into my chamber I was forced to goe prayer-lesse to bedde because my soule was confounded and ashamed to looke vp towards God The morrow morning I prayed thus O blessed Lord God most maruelous art thou in goodnesse and patience Is it possible that thou canst forbeare the powring of thy iust and wrathfull vengeance vpon mee O Lord it is exceedingly enough that thou hast thus long forborne mee Cut off I beseech thee this most cursed course of my sinne and doe vnto mee that which is most pleasing to thy holy will O Lord is there yet any hope that I should be saued Yea with condition of repentance Woe is mee there is no possibilitie of my repentance I cannot steadfastly continue in the purpose of resisting my sinnes yea so long as thy pleasure is to preserue me aliue thou callest mee vnto thee O God I would come but I cannot I will assaie O I haue no faith This is that which commeth of long liuing in sinne Yet who can tell what thou wilt doe if I but offer to assay Without assaying there is no turning without turning no saluation Therefore I will assay Good Lord I cannot How vncouth How strange How beyond all possibilitie doth the practise of a conscionable life seeme vnto mee O Lord besides mine owne inward vnrepentance the violent streame of this world hindereth mee Most folke further mee in sinne some one way some another But a very few holp mee to enter in at the little doore of repentance Men may talke much and professe great matters but it is repentance that shall try what kind of people they be O how easie a thing it is to make an outward shewe if that would serue the turne The heart must be vpright with thee and the spirit must cleaue fast vnto thee else it is no bargaine no couenant betweene thee and the party In the name of Iesus I wil assay O Iesu help me for thy most comfortable names sake Amen That very same day I comming into company turned from God Tuesday I prayed thus O Lord God I do plainely perceiue that to pray vnto thee for the grace of repentance and not to enforce my selfe to practise the meanes is a kind of mockery and a fearefull prouoking of thy displeasure Earnest praier and diligent practise will mutually thorough thy grace strengthen each other But neglect of practise sheweth cold deuotion Therefore I purpose to force my selfe vnto this businesse O good Lord be mercifull vnto mee Amen My intolerable paine grew worse and worse yet I could not frame my selfe to take any sure hold vpon the grace of repentance Munday the sixteenth of May I prayed thus O Lord God had I not been a stony hearted sinner this deadly windines might haue terrified mee from sinne aboue sixe yeares a gone O how blessed should I now haue beene had I but these sixe last yeares in singlenesse of heart serued thee Now my time is gone mine heart is dead within me And though I should liue a while this hellish strangury quite disableth me yet were I turned vnto thee thou wouldest
be very gracious vnto mee Oh! mine heart is so deuillishly bent to sinne that no vowes no oathes nothing can turne it O Lord what shall I doe I am as a man that hath most deadly wounded himselfe and dying would not die But woe is mee There is no remedie He that is wounded to death must die yea but thou vouchsafest to raise vp some by the grace of thy Sonne True Lord true it is But few of that companie be such as haue bin dissembling hypocrites And of all counterfeits the most vncurable is a counterfeit-preacher of thy righteousnes My soule can hardly thinke how such a one should haue the grace of repentance Of all such if any such there be beside me I am the worst O good Lord be mercifull vnto me the worst of all sinners Amen Friday the twentieth of May I prayed thus O good Lord though the hardnes of mine heart be exceedingly great yet ought I not to despaire for thy Sonne likeneth the kingdome of thy grace vnto a graine of musterd seede and vnto a little leauen O my soule hast thou not a little faith Looke vp vnto heauen and craue of thy maker that the fulnes of grace which is in Iesus Christ may haue some little influence and entrance into thee by the holy Ghost O my good Lord my soule is full of vnbeleefe I beseech thee to be mercifull vnto mine vnbeleeuing soule Amen About noone the same day hauing dined with two strangers for I lodge and table in a vitteling-house comming into my chamber I confessed and prayed thus O Lord what am I that I should vndertake to walke vprightly before thy face I cannot for the company and presence of any one draweth my minde downe from thee O why doest thou suffer the poore children of Adam to be thus carried away Is it because thou wilt haue it so fie vpon mee sinne-blinded wretch when a seruant for his naughtines is turned out of his seruice hee should laie the blame of his miserie vpon himselfe and not vngraciously exclaime that his lord had a purpose to put him away before euer hee offended Yea but seely man thinketh that thou who art so renowned and famous for mercie shouldest be mercifull vnto euery one Or if not so because then iustice should not be seene nor the benefit of mercie so well appeare yet the greater number should haue mercie specially seeing that the God-man Iesus hath paid so great a ransome for mercy We do not consider that among many traytors it is much if a King pardon one Sinne is treason against thee yea farre more haynous then the highest treasō can be against Princes because thy Maiestie is infinitely greater then theirs Also thy hate of sinn is aboue our vnderstanding for it is according to the measure of thy holinesse which is vnmeasurable Ah! my father Adam little knew how many thousand thousands of his owne naturall children hee did throwe into euerlasting miserie in breaking thy commandement He was well able to haue obeyed thy will So am not I for from out of him I haue together with my bodie receiued a wicked inclination which now is by long custome in sinning most extreamly hardened O good Lord be mercifull vnto mee Amen That afternoone I kept my selfe within and the morrow also But Saturday at night I by occasion of companie fell into vaine mirth whereunto I am excessiuely giuen There is indeed a good kind of merriment if we could hit vpon it for according to the last and in my weake iudgement the best translation of the Bible He that is of a merry heart hath a continuall feast Prou. 15.15 But in the Iewes language a merry heart is a good heart and therefore there can be no sound safe mirth without the grace of repentance Can a subiect though of high degree bee frolike and iocand before the face of the King so long as his Maiestie is grieuously displeased with him That were a ready way to discouer an vnloyall heart which vnto a prudent Prince is verie abhominable But what if the same subiect bee vpon humble submission receiued into his Soueraignes fauour will he not be very moderate in his mirth so long as hee is in the presence of his Maiestie will it not be ioy sufficient vnto him to be free from giuing his Leige Lord any cause of distast to minister vnto him all possible good contentment yea else he is not fit to bee in the presence of Maiestie for hee eclipseth the royall glory which cannot but cause some euill effect one way or another So it is betweene the Lord of glorie and those which serue in his presence that is to say all Christians The 22. of May beeing Sabbath I was sore plagued with the strangurie yet going to Church and after diuine seruice comming into the pulpit I felt my selfe to be something coole and able to speake So might I haue continued but that I did as I would wish no man to do strain my selfe with a kind of furiousnesse the common behauiour of such as are tumultuously confusedly and rawly prepared The best way for a Preachers selfe and the most likely to preuaile in perswading his hearers is if I bee not much deceiued graue milde and treatable speech If a man perceiue it in himselfe it is a very grieuous sight to see corrupted nature play the part of grace and with a smoakie flourish make as though it would kill the deuill beeing indeed his base slaue so willing to obey as he to commaund What a glorie is this to Sathan what a dishonour to God After I was come home I praysed God thus O most excellently gracious Lord what shall I sinner doe I am neither worthy nor able to praise thee yet exceedingly bound to do it O Lord what mooueth thee to be so good vnto the worst of all sinners Onely thine owne goodnesse for in mee there is nothing but causes of prouocation Yea a thousand and a thousand thousand causes which crie vnto thee for vengeance and continually vrge thy iustice to powre a whole sea of wrath vpon me And yet thou art gracious vnto mee Had I the holiest soule and the strongest bodie of all that liue vpon the face of the earth yea though I could liue an hundred holy liues die as many right Martyrdomes in zeale of thee and of thy truth I should not come neare vnto the making of a sufficient recompence for the goodnesse patience and forbearance which thou hast graciously shewed vnto mee And yet loe most vile wretch that I am I still liue in sinne and so continue displeasing and dishonouring thee O my good Lord giue me grace to be once broken from this deuillish wickednesse though it be with condition that I shal be the most refuse man of all the world Lay vpon me whatsoeuer thou wilt onely disburden my conscience of sinne and ease my body of this vnsupportable paine of the strangury Amen At euening prayer I read and preached
prayed thus O my creator thou seest how it is with mee Thy goodnesse is most wonderfull my wickednesse is most vncurable and vnsufferable O make a speedie end of my sin which way soeuer it pleaseth thee blessed for euermore be thy Name Amen The morrow I straggled not abroad but mine affections were very vnruly yea and that which is strange I could not frame my mind to take any deep conceit of the wickednesse of mine heart Thus it is when a mans heart is setled in the loue of any euill he is not able to thinke so of it as it is Friday the first of Iuly I dined with a guest a learned friend of mine who tooke occasion to speake somewhat sharpely against Precisians This I thought he did the rather because some informed him that I was too familiar with such people Therefore to satisfie both that minister all others whom it may concerne I most humbly craue the benefit of modest libertie to speake without offence what my poore soule in the sight of God thinketh touching this diuision It hath bin a meanes of great aduantage both to Poperie prophanenesse yea this wretchednes is caused by it Vpon either side diuerse haue nothing else to commend them but only this that they are of that side yea and the side is glad to make vse of them Is it not a lamentable case that some appeare to haue almost no conscience but against ceremonies others none but for ceremonies The Precisian doth in my conscience not without great cause crie out against ignorant idle and prophane ministers But where is the fault The coast had been well cleared by this time of the daie had not Satan caused church-gouernment to be both by way of sobernes and in the fashion of maddenes verie fiercely assailed But to what end to reforme the Church No to deforme it This is my beleefe concerning Church-gouernment Can any man truely say Such a lord Bishop doth not seeke his own worldly commoditie but the edifying of his Diocesse and the glory of Iesus Christ Doth it euidently appeare that his whole bent is in the diligent discharge of his office to approoue himselfe vnto God and vnto euery conscience of men in the sight of God Then will I conclude vpon my soules perill There is the Apostolicall Church-gouernement of Iesus Christ If any such there be who cannot in some good measure be truely so reported of the calamitie is great the iudgement very fearfull Yet because of personall faults to destroy a diuine ordinance and bring in confusion the calamitie would be greater the iudgement more fearefull Indeede Church-discipline is not reuerenced for want of holy seuerity The punishment of fornication and adulterie c. is little else but large fees A filthie gaine fie vpon it I would intreat leaue to speake once more Touching the ministerie besides what I haue by the way signified already I humbly pray great Schollers and all that seeke after riches and advancement in the Church to ponder these my words The Gospel of the Sonne of God must and will first throwe downe Pride and Couetousnes before it worke an vniuersall good in this kingdome Those two great sins cannot be vpheld any way but only by Popery for they must be accompanied with a superstitious conceit that pomp is religion which when all haue said what they can say the Gospel wil not endure So I haue done The same friday after that I had dined it came into my mind to goe into the towne as formerly I had done But I felt in mine heart no desire to goe Therefore comming into my chamber I beganne to wonder at my selfe what should aile me fearing least some secret deadlinesse had seazed vpon mine heart At last I brake out into these words Whatsoeuer is the cause blessed be the name of God O good Lord let whatsoeuer come vpon me so that my spirit may be setled in this disposition And I shall be bound to praise thee most ioyfully for euermore Amen That day I kept my selfe within and the morrow and the Sabbath day hauing gotten one to supply my place All the next weeke I continued so and the Sabbath following my place beeing supplied by one preacher in the forenoone and an other in the afternoone Wednesday the thirteenth of Iuly I still keeping within prayed thus O most holy and dreadfull Lord God with what face can so hainous a sinner as I am dare to speake vnto thy most glorious Maiestie or be so bold to aske any thing of thee Thy most wonderfull goodnesse emboldeneth me And yet still me thinkes I am past grace because sinne doth so abound in me O Lord my sinnes are as the sand of the sea vnnumberable therefore my soule must needs be thorougly and thoroughly stained for euery sinne so often as it is yeelded vnto worketh a black blemish into my soule Woe is me my soule is wholly ouerrun with a most foule filthy leprosie This is all my comfort that thy seruant saith Rom. 5.20 Where sinne abounded grace did much more abound The more deadly the disease the more soueraign the medicine the more excellēt the Physitian that cureth it O God thou art able to doe whatsoeuer powerfull work thou wilt yea thou canst do infinitly more then thou wilt But here is the greatest wonder that thou shouldest vouchsafe to worke a most admirable cure vpon him vnto whom thou mayest most iustly say Away from me thou most damnable sinner Away out of my light I will not pardon thee because thou hast most grieuously displeased and vnpardonably dishonoured me in breaking the lawes of my kingdome in refusing my proffered grace in taking vpon thee to be a preacher of my righteousnes and denying the power therof Yet blessed Lord so long as the Iudge doth not giue order that the condemned prisoner bee taken from the barre the poor wretch cries for his precious life saying Mercie good my Lord Iudge mercie for Iesus Christs sake The name Iesus with an earthly Christian Iudge cannot but be of great force must needs mooue him very much for it is the name of his deare Sauiour the onely name whereby he trusteth to be saued But of all and aboue all the name Iesus is most precious in thy sight beeing not superstitiously parrated but mournfully presented vnto thee Therefore though a thousand thousand seuerall inditements be found against me and though the lawes of thy kingdome do condemne me yet seeing that it is thy good pleasure to suffer me to stand in thy presence and not to bee taken out of this world I crie vnto thee saying Mercie Lord God almighty mercie for thine onely begotten Sonnes sake Iesus Christ God man crucified for the loue of him blessed Lord be mercifull vnto me the worst of all sinners Amen Amen Towards euening I being punished with the hotte passage of my water painfulnesse about the left kidnie and burning of the right foote was much afraid of a deadly