nothing in comparison oâ— thee but all things in subordination to thee 24. I love affliction because in it I saw thee in me and my self in thee 25. I love affliction because by it I saw that thou didst love me 26. I love affliction because it taught me to love thy Statutes to choose them imbrace them and delight in them 27. And I will love affliction because it will keep me in the ways of thy Statutes 28. I love afflictions because they are lovely and sent from thee the God of Love to me in Love 29. I love afflictions because thou hast sanctified them to me and me by them 30. I love affliction because since that I was deeply afflicted for sins I have not been afflicted with sins triumph nor with reign 31. I love afflictions because thou hast made them O God unto me lovely 32. I love afflictions because thou hast ever sweetned them unto me by Sanctification 33. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to bear afflictions 34. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to afflict my self â—hat is my flesh for sins afflictions 35. O my God give me what afflictions â—hou wilt so by them thou suffer me not to â—fflict thee who I know never took'st pleasure to afflict me 36. If I had not known afflictions meâ—hinks I had never sought to learn to know â—hee nor thy knowledge 37. If I had not been undone I may justly â—ear I had been for ever undone 38. Give me O Lord as many sanctified afflictions as thou pleasest for then in the midst of them I am sure I shall please thee 39. O Lord suffer not any affliction to afflict me with murmurings or repinings which I am sure will afflict thee 40. I desire ever to praise thee O Lord â—or that I never had affliction in the flesh to â—y remembrance but it brought me comâ—ort in the Spirit 41. So that I may say through grace â—y afflictions have been my best and choicest â—enedictions 42. So esteeming them give me O Lord his grace to esteem them as tokens and â—gns of grace 43. O Lord make me ever thankfull fâ—â— all these thy afflictions which deserve much thanks 44. O Lord I heartily thank thee for thâ— thou hast made my heart such as it do truly thank thee for them 45. Give me grace O Lord to will thâ— Will and to submit to all thy Wills will 46. Ah Lord give me grace to knoâ— thy Will a will to learn to know thy gracâ— 47. Thy glory is my glories end thâ— end is my glories aim 48. I desire no other honour O Lord than to have the honour to be thy Servant 49. I will rejoyce in any Condition sâ— may be in the Condition of thy Servant 50. O Lord I am willing to do any woâ—â— so it may be thy work 51. Thy glory O Lord is my only loâ—ing my only joy delight desire aim and enâ— 52. O Lord let me never be ashamed do thy work though never so mean in eyes of Men let it be always beautifâ— honourable and glorious to my eyes heâ— will and affections 53. Give me Christ O God on any terâ— and conditions and I will confess them be honourable terms and conditions advâ—tagious and glorious 54. I had much rather haye Communâ— with Christ in a Dungeon than be adorned and ever possess all Solomon's outward glory in a Palace 55. Communion with Christ will I am sure make me content in all places and conditions 56. In Christ I am sure there is fulness of joy and all true peace and comfort though without any of all the worlds comforts 57. In Christ there is all pleasure though in the World frowns disgrace and displeasures 58. In Christ there is true light though in the World dark Dungeons 59. Thy smiles O Christ my Christ are my Heaven and thy frowns let me never know for I fear them as the worst of Hell 60. Let me enjoy that Heaven and I care not for all other Hells 61. Ah sweet Jesus let thy will be my will that my will may be always according to thy will 62. Let nothing O Lord satisfie me but my assurance of being in thee and thou in me 63. Let me always O Lord meditate on thy love and mercies in loving me 64. Ah suffer not any thing in this world of this world to content or delight me unless thou be in it my sweet Jesus 65. O Lord grant that as often as I do sin I may sigh and sorrow for sin and earnestly desire to sin no more 66. Grant that I may set all my affectionâ— and love on thee my dear Saviour and Soveraign Lord who art the Father's Glory the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 67. Grant O Lord who art my God and all my good that in all Conditions may abundantly rejoyce with true contentment and not at all to murmur or repine aâ— thy hand though heavy on me 68. Ah Lord be thou always all my thoughts all my joy and the only and alâ— the rejoycing of my heart 69. Grant that I may always love thee O my Lord more than my Life yea thaâ— the life that is the Salvation of my Soul 70. Grant O Lord that I may not so much by much labour for the joys oâ— Heaven to my self as to do thy will or earth in love only to thy self 71. Grant O Lord that all my solacâ— may be in uprightness of heart to serve thee 72. O Lord give me grace that whilst am on Earth I may labour to do thy will with my whole will as it is done in Heaven 73. Grant O Lord that I may every day yea all the day long have Communion with thee the Spirit of Grace my sole comforteâ— and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thâ— will O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell my sweet and dear Jesus if it could be â—en thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be Hell and obey God then in Heaven and against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beâ—ech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those â—ings and those things only both for soul â—d body on earth that may prepare me â—d make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death â—en choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin â—re yet whilst I live here suffer me not O â—od at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do believe that Christ Jesus is my Jeâ—â—s and my Christ and that he makes interâ—ssion for me every moment and ever will â—en to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction â—ith enjoying thee O my Saviour then all â—anner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosâ—r it 82. As long O God as thou givest me â—ead water and grace I will acknowledge â—t I have sufficient meat drink and rayâ—ent yea
earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I come to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infiniteness and eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy Mercies sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost three persons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawfull calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obedientlâ— circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me always value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no Token either of thy Hatred or of thy Love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be always as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal loss Ah Lord let the eyes of my understanding be enlightned and always open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingness whilst I shall possess them and that worldly bliss consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem always that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best Come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will always please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will always please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward Man the New not the Old Man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfeignedly beg and beseech thâ—e in Jesus Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing whatever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the days of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my days unto the very last hour of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witness a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Jesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that tryest the heart and searchest the Reins thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as wilingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty Maker Giver and Preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the â—nds and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatness of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and to write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that
Lord to know that thou art a God pardoning all Iniquities Transgressions and sins yea all Blasphemies wherewith they have blasphemed Ah Lord shew them the light of thy gracious and glorious Countenance and lead them in the way everlasting that they may never more swerve nor go astray from thy Divine and Holy Commandments Bless O Lord all that are travelling by Sea or by Land and bring them to their Ports and Places in safety defend them from all Pirats and Robbers that seek to do them hurt or wrong and from all other perils and dangers pitch thy tents O Lord round about them and keep them even as thou keepest thine own And lastly O Lord I most humbly and heartily beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to pardon and forgive all mine Enemies all the world over love them O Lord that hate me bless them that curse me do good to them that seek to do me evil forget and forgive all that they have done or would have done against me and change their hearts from evil unto good that they may no longer walk after the deceitfulness of their own evil Hearts but may do all things for the time to come in truth and sincerity according to thine own heart O Lord God that thou mayest own them for thy own and give them hearts O Lord to forgive me whom I have wronged whether it have been in thought word or deed either unto high or low rich or poor young or old and grant O Lord that I may fear and do so no more but as thou hast been unto me a sin-pardoning God so I beseech thee be unto me a sin-preventing God that I may not as the Dog return to his Vomit nor as the Sow to her wallowing in the mire again but that I may always henceforth set thee O Lord before mine eyes and be attent unto the motions of thy holy spirit and never to forget thy exceeding bountifull and mercifull dealings towards me and that love in Jesus Christ wherewith thou hast loved me and that I may remember that it is impossible for those who were once enlightned and have tasted of the Heavenly gift and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost and have tasted the good word of God and the Powers of the World to come if they shall fall away to renew them again unto Repentance seeing they Crucifie to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to open shame for if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a certain fearfull looking for of Judgment and fiery indignation which shall devour the adversaries for having Lord by thy grace and mercy escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ grant that I may not again be intangled therein and overcome and so my latter end prove worse if worse it can be than was my beginning Ah Lord God should such be my case which God forbid it would be much better for me that I had never known the way of Righteousness than after the knowledge of it to turn from thy holy Commandments delivered unto me Ah Lord God my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ thou knowest my weakness frailty and impotency that I cannot of my self as of my self think a good thought that I am prone to all evil and averse to all good to will indeed is many times present but how to perform I know not there is still O Lord God a law in my members warring against the law of my mind and leading me Captive into the law of sin Ah Lord when when O Lord when shall that time come and that blessed most blessed and glorious day dawn and appear in my heart that the root and branch of sin be totally rooted up and utterly destroyed and grace confirmed and grow up more and more until I come to be a perfect man in Christ Jesus that I may still more and more hate the evil which I do and love the good which I do not and cannot do that it may be no longer I that sin but sin that dwelleth in me and that by the assistance of thy grace and holy Spirit I may walk well pleasing before thee doing thy work and thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven living the life of grace here and of glory hereafter the life of the Righteous that I may dye their death Ah Lord give thy self to me that I may give my self to thee live in me that I may live to thee owne me for thine own that I may owne thee for mine all give me Ah give me O Lord much grace that I may give thee much glory daily grace that I may give thee daily glory continually grace that I may give thee continually glory that I may be all thine O Lord only thine always thine and ever thine and all this I most humbly and unfeignedly beg of thee and whatever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for my soul and body for the name and for the worthiness of Jesus Christ thy Son and my Saviour to whom with thy Glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace do I render and give with my whole heart as all due is and unto none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen Amen 34. If the love of Creatures be so lovely unto us and we esteem and love them most for their love and this their love doth many times sweetly satisfie and ravish our senses But how then are our hearts set on fire with Love when we have within us the fiery hot burning Love of a Loving God yea of a God of Love whose Love is so lovely as it knits our hearts in Love unto him and our greatest Love unto him is from his own Love because he hath so loved us as to give us hearts to love him even according to his own heart 35. If our Joy be according to the measure of Love which we enjoy from the Creature whom we most love Ah how great yea incomprehensibly great shall our joy be when we shall know and feel that we are beloved above measure by the Creator who maketh the Creature thus lovely and giveth him Love thus to love him 36. If our Love many times be so great unto the Creature for the Creature that we do not and it seems to us that we cannot love him so much as we would and do desire to do and we crave and desire chiefly his Love that we may yet love him more and this from and because we love him so much and for that our senses can be only satisfied with his Love and by loving of him for we love him most for his Love and his Love doth cause us to love him more whom we love so much yea whom we love most 37. But Ah how great then yea how wonderfully great is the
joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerfull Enemies and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on Earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the door of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfeigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choice above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more than all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our Delight End and Aim must be to delight him that is by walking well-pleasing unto him all the days of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be carefull and heedfull to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintain us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustain us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will fail us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of Men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would reign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns as he did here 129. He that would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinfull bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judge to acquit him there must judge and condemn himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christ's flock and be of his Fold and of his Sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after Holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to dye their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well-doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a Person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness always dwell within me that Heaven may be always within me and that I may be always in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven
in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holiness be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may always long to be filled with thy fulness of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may always say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth than to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my own sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confess that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodness love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witness that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodness is so great and thy greatness so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodness to do great good things for thy great goodness sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonness but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a loveless yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy ways which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantness of them and to delight to sit always under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right well knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy ways is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk well pleasing unto thee and to lead them by the hand that they slip not 159. Ah Lord suffer me not to do as do the men of the World to labour to heap up and gather these things that profit not and to leave behind me much of these low earthly outward things that endure but for a season but let me rather cast off these garments bespottted in the flesh and follow thee naked and gather up and distribute those true and heavenly riches which shall make the Soul glad and rich and honourable for ever that my heirs may be heirs of Heaven and not of Earth 160. Ah Lord Let all the Worlds all be all unto me as I was unto thee when in it and of it even as a menstruous cloth and my all not worth any thing at all 161. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind earth any more with an earthly but with a heavenly mind and that my heart may be always there where my true only and everlasting treasure is and that I may live in the World as if I were not of the World and use these things below as low things even as if I used them not 162. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind these things my self which I teach and labour to have others forget and not to mind and so save them but perish my self 163. Ah Lord full of grace give me grace to shew forth unto all that all my covetings ambition and longings are for the things above and not for these things here below and that these things here are fit and only fit for such as have their hearts and affections here 164. Ah Lord sure yea most sure it is that those that are risen with thee will seek the things that are above even where thou sittest at the right hand of God and that those that do it not are not yet risen but lye dead in the grave of their sins 165. Ah Lord suffer not the World to deceive any that their Souls may not be deceived and they perish for ever in their sins 166. But bring them all home Ah Lord bring them all home unto thy self and betroth them all to thy self here by
beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my mind by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the ways of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my Heart by thy holy Spirit nor my Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my Soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine always thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after death be made partaker of Eternal Life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to bless thee as the Lord my Righteousness and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for Evermore Amen HEre follow my spiritual Soul-solaces Dictates or Gleanings of God's Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodness love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a heavenly Looking-glass see know taste feel and be certainly assured of God's loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing nearer and nearer unto my â—long wished and desired home of Heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my Strength and my Redeemer SPIRITUAL MEDITATIONS Being the Gifts and Dictates of GOD's SPIRIT OR The Hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sin but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstruous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the hony-comb and I desire it much more than gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven the best of Heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce â—or it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eyes Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and preâ—ious dear delight and I shall not value â—ut contemn all the ill looks of all others eyes 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus than a Solomon be ignominious all my days and honour my God always than be honourable all my days and dishonour my God but one day 15. Of all afflictions O God my God let not sin be my affliction afflict me not with sin for sin 16. A wounded heart a heart wounded with sin who can bear 17. What burthen so intolerably heavy as the burthen of one sin only if the Lord lift it not up with one of his fingers 18. I ask nothing in Heaven or Earth but God in Christ 19. God in Christ is all things for all things out of Christ are to me nothing he is my joy and my Salvation 20. I had much rather methinks be ever afflicted than never afflicted whilst on earth 21. Though by thy free grace O God thou hast in love and mercy brought me home unto thee yet thou hast used affliction as the means therefore do I love and k 〈…〉 the Rod because thou hast appointed it 22. I love affliction because it was the hand by which thou did'st O God leaâ— me out of affliction that is out of sin 23. I love affliction because by it thou hast taught me to love thee yea so to love thee as I love
Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more until thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of Sin and the life of Eternal Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou woulâ— have me to be which is I trust to be â— with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give things for thou art all things therefore thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment long after I have done the work of my Generaâ— on that is not live for my self but â— thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to â— thy will to will thy will and to submit thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thinâ— only thine always thine and ever thinâ— here in thy Kingdom of Grace and hereaâ—ter in thy Kingdom of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punisâ—ment of Sin and not sin then the evil Sin and no Punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want thâ— worlds sweets and in its want to find nâ— want but even in want most to abound 235. O Lord thou knowest I desire no so much the world as to have my thoughtâ— and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life bâ— purchased for to choose and commit onâ— â—n willingly I would not purchase nor â—ave it on that condition but rather deâ—end on the love and mercy of God in Jeâ—s Christ 137. I am sure God is my God because â—e hath given me a heart to fear him in love â—nd to love him with fear and trembling to â—ejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his â—ill universally and to depend and trust â—n his sure mercies and faithfull promise in â—esus Christ 138. I am sure God did ever love me â—ecause I am sure he doth now love me â—nd therefore I am sure he will ever love â—e for where he once loveth he ever loâ—eth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because â—e hath given me a heart to hate all sin uniâ—ersally with a sincere and perfect hatred â—oth in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because â—e hath given me true conviction and sinâ—ere sound and unfeigned repentance from â—nd for all sin esteeming all exceeding sinâ—ll both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because â— delight in his ways and for that all my â—ongings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me becauâ— would not commit any Sin nor could Iâ— willingly to get his love if I doubted oâ— 144. I know and am sure that God lâ—eth me because that I do most heartily aâ— sincerely desire to love him a thousaâ— thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me becausâ— love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me becausâ— desire nothing so much as to be his faithfuâ— humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because love every man especially such as I belieâ— love him and because their conditions whâ— ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because love every mans Soul prosperity and haâ—piness as my own and their bodies moâ—then my own 149. I know God loveth me becauâ— those that have been and are still my Enâ—mies in the flesh I love both in the fleâ— and spirit 150. I know God loveth me because do sincerely pray for the Souls and Bodiâ— of those whom I have cause to believe thâ— they hate me 151. I know God loves me because â— hate nothing but what he hates which is sâ— 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovedst me when thou wert here for I cannot â—elfe love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and bâ— delighted râ—vished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my sâ— as a token of my love Aâ— give me thinâ— and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for theeâ— confess I had from thee it being now in mâ— O let us both abide and let me dwell thee 163. Let it never be separated froâ— thee nor me but of two let us be made onâ— and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to â— thy will it is to thee and to remember thâ— 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy anâ— blessed Spirit that I may never be led astraâ— 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing bâ— my self as for my self but all things by thâ— self and for thy self 167. Be thou always with me that I maâ— never be without thee O most holy anâ— blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may bâ— all and always sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more foâ— thy Service sake then for my Souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heaveâ— more to do thy will then to have my willâ— 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heaveâ— I would not desire Heaven but my desirâ— should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be iâ— me whilst I am on earth as shall be in meâ— when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul Lord thou knowest is only to thee and â— thee and to be always guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O â—rd until my soul and body shall be filled â—th thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever
and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights be to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulness of Joy 19. And if our Joys be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here â—n earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall all be done away and our pleasures be for evermore 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on Earth be so sweet Ah how delicious and sweet yea sweetly delicious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favorites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and sit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightness here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would always be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulness of his bright beautifull glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightness and glory they have all their glorious brightness and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehenslbly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages her whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but always please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly Heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glass Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see thee clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yea that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love thee only and to serve thee with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatness and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be always graciously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthiness his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and conversation all the rest of my days and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infiniteness and incomprehensibleness of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heavens even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise Thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gracious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the Children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wilderness with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the fiery Furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy Creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whither thou hast by
him glory for all which is what he only requires for this his continually giving of us all even to give him continually for ever and ever all glory for his thus ever and for ever giving us all grace perfect grace and glory yea fulness of all perfect grace and glory 281. As on Earth we delight to have much so nothing more delights God than that we crave much the more we ask the more we are sure to have and therefore doth he bid us to open our mouths wide and then he promiseth to fill them and the wider they are the sooner they shall be filled his ways nor his thoughts are not as ours he is never weary giving nor repenteth importunate beggars are best welcome and those that are not satisfied with a little he takes pleasure to give them much our dissatisfaction herein is his satisfaction our covetings cause his liberality with our ambition to have all and to be denyed nothing at all he is right well pleased and by thus exalting him as our chief and only good doth he exalt us and set us on such high mountains that we can even see not only such glory as is the glory of this World and the old Jerusalem but that of his Kingdom of Grace here and Glory hereafter the New Jerusalem the City of our God where he is sitting on his Throne of Majesty and great Glory unvailing himself as it were that we may behold him and his unapproachable transcendent bright glorious light of Glory 282. I would be willingly barren even of all Spiritual comforts if thereby I might be made more able to bear fruit to God and for God I would have no comfort nor delight if thereby as it were I could and did more delight and comfort my God that is I would rather Joy God than enjoy God by knowing or feeling not that I could be content to know that I were without him that he were not my God God forbid but I prefer him much before my own chief good of Joy his glory being my only yea all my Glory 283. I would rather yea much rather do God's work here and have no wages than have wages here and do no work 284. I had rather yea much rather whilst here be always working than always receiving wages for this life of time I know is appointed for our working time and our hereafter life of time for our time of receiving wages 285. I would whilst here be willing to spend all my time to do all good for I know that all my hereafter time shall be spent in receiving all good 286. I would willingly most willingly work Gods work always while here for that Ah for that blessed wages which I know I shall receive from him for ever hereafter which is such and so great as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man at any time to conceive I know that I shall enter not only into the joy of my Lord but also into the Lord of my joy 287. It is wagâ—s great enough and good enough to be always doing thy great good work O Great God 288. I would willingly Ah most willingly serve the Lord most and best of all men If I could and yet I desire as much and as willingly would that every man might serve him more and please him better 289. Ah what delight is it to that soul that delights his God what joy doth it bring to that heart that joyeth his God that is to rejoyce always in him for God much delighteth in those yea most of all that make him their only delight 290. Ah Lord how unpleasant are all other pleasures to those that flow from thee how empty Ah how empty is all other fulness what poverty Ah how beggarly a thing is all other riches and how little Ah how little joy doth that Soul take in all other things that knoweth thee and the Ocean of joy yea fulness of joy and blessedness that is O Lord in thee and prepared by thee to rejoyce them that thus wait at thy gates and are hungar-starved for want of it 291. Who can Ah who can measure the Heavens span the Earth empty the Sea count the Stars and the sands of the Sea-shore if not who then caâ— rightly speak of or tell the mercies of our God who delighteth in mercy yea whose mercies are far above all these and all other his works 292. How willingly Ah how willingly would I forget my self to mind only my God and to do all his mind to fulfill all his will and to rejoyce in all his doings I would love my self my own self no more but only my God my God only and ever adore I would willingly deny my self that is my flesh all pleasures to please him that hath rivers of pleasures provided to please fill and satisfie me with even such as flow from his own right hand 293. Ah Lord God how much better is it to see thy sweet thy blessed and most amiable face in thine Ordinances and in duties than the face of the most gloriouâ— Angel in glory 294. Yea Lord yea thy back parts here I much prefer to see and behold than all their faces 295. Surely a day yea one hour of a day is to be preferred of communion with thee before the enjoyment of all things out of thee all our days 296. For in thee O Lord in thee is all things but out of thee is nothing desirable 297. All sweets but thine are bitter 298. But O Lord how savoury yea how pleasant and sweet are thy bitter when thou seasonest them with grace 299. Thy Voyce rejoyceth O Lord more that Soul to whom it speaketh peace than all the joyes of the World can to any man if he did always and ever enjoy all their sweets and never enjoy any of their bitter 300. Above all things and more than all things my soul desireth thee O Lord God who art the Lord of all things 301. Loving of God is knowing of him fearing of him is adoring of him choosing him shews a delight in him running after him is prizing of him seeking of him shews our longing desire for him to hunger and thirst for him is embracing of him with eager covetings to serve him is to honour him to rejoyce in him is to glorifie him to praise him is to magnifie him and to worship him is to exalt him 302. It is better and more profitable many times to be silent than to speak for the eagerness of our desires to speak takes away and hinders us from comprehending what we do hear so as we consider not what is spoken so much as what we desire and would speak 303. But Ah how much better is it to hear the Spirit of God speak to our hearts than the spirit of man to our ears or our selves to our selves to consult with the spirit and to talk with the spirit than with the flesh either our own or others
therefore no Joys but even false Joys and foolish yea very foolish toyes 114. O my soul my soul awake awake and see them their deformity their ugliness their dung and dunghil likeness to those savory sweet pleasant and delightsome pleasures that thou givest out of the Garden the Orchard and the Fountain of pleasures that are in thy Palaces 115. Ah how doth that heart leap and rejoyce when it enjoys thee O God wholly when it enjoys thee only how willing ah how willing is it to be divorced separated and banished from all things whatever that are out of thee and besides thee 116. And how unwilling is it ah how unwilling that the World and the things of the World should have again re-entrance there where thou Lord hast been for it cooleth that warmth it freezeth that beat it quencheth that fire it puts out those flames that did so warm heat burn and flame in the heart that is now as the fire under ashes and as the flame in the smoak it is not discernable 117. How ah how is the heart by the World and the things of the World carted as it were away and drawn by great force from thee O God and thy good From feasting at thy Table of dainties to take and taste and feed on those dirtie hoggish brutish earthly husks or earths husks which cannot solace nor satisfie it for a moment with any true delight of taste or enjoyment 118. How lazie sluggish cold faint feeble and weary is the heart when it is taken off from enjoying thee O God who art its all even all its Joy 119. When it must ah when it must again leave Heaven as it were and the delicacies thereof of liberty freedom peace rest joy riches honours and pleasures and come down from thence and dig and delve hew wood and draw water be a slave as it were to its worst and most cruell Enemy at least not to be altogether free and therefore unquiet restless sad poor contemptible and full of grief 120. How doth ah how doth that heart that truly enjoys thee O God with Jacob say truly feelingly knowingly and certainly that it hath all even all honours riches and pleasures that are to be had on earth or in Heaven 121. How ah how do such spurn away kick at and fly from all other things as if they had poyson in the head and a sting in the tayl even as from monsters that have no mercy 122. Such ah such a heart cannot no no it cannot satisfie it self with these satisfying satisfactions unless he be ah unless he be always as it were drowned in them and swallowed up into them and because he cannot contain them therefore ah therefore he desires to be contained by them 123. How willingly ah how willingly would such a one be poor in the world to have and possess these Ah these true indeed true riches and to live ever in disgrace to be thus graced and to be made lower than the lowest of men To be thus high and lifted up above all these high low things here below how willingly ah how willingly would he still live in contempt and be flouted derided scorned and scoâ—t at among and by men to be thus honoured by God and honourable among the blessed How willingly ah how willingly would he be ever banished from earths home to be thus brought home to enjoy what is at home in Heaven and to feed on the unpleasant sowre bitters of losses crosses and afflictions to drink only of these sweet pleasant streams and rivers of pleasures that flow continually and abundantly from Gods right hand 124. This Ah this is to be brought out of Egypt and over the red Sea and from his weary and long journeying in the wilderness to inherit a quiet and peaceable possession in that true Heavenly Celestial Canaan flowing always with Milk and Honey for here even here in the flesh on earth he enjoys such and so many joyes as far exceed all that ever he did or could ask that ever he did or could think 125. Ah Lord rich in mercy love bounty and great in goodness above Ah much much above all that can be conceived or spoken by Men or Angels set before me Ah set before me always on the one hand my unkindness my sins my blackness soulness uncleanness ugliness and deformity as I am in my self from my self that I may loath detest and abhor them and my self for them and because of them that I may be driven drawn and whipt away from them to thee to hate them to love thee to detest them to adore thee and on the other hand O God my God I may always openly and plainly see thy love and kindness yea loving kindness mercy goodness gentleness patience and forbearance that thereby and therewith I may be enticed allured tyed knit glued fastned swallowed up and involv'd in thee O God my God so as I may never more be divorc'd parted or separated from thee nor thy ways but may long for to enjoy thy most sweet and only sweet and soul satisfying presence and Communion all my days for without thee and out of thee all things are even nothing but with thee enjoying thee we have all things and want nothing and do care for nothing else nor ask nor desire nothing Ah nothing else nay cannot think of any thing else 126. Bless Ah bless me then O Lord my Lord and my God who art the God and Father of Abraham of Isaac of Jacob and of all the blessed who blessest all that are blessed bless O Lord bless I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ all my weak frail and unworthy prayers praises desires and actions make them a blessing so unto me as that thou mayest delight to bless me more and more not for the satisfying of the flesh but of the spirit not of the body only but of the soul also not only the outward but the inward Ah the inward the inward man let me be so blessed in soul and body as that both soul and body may ever bless and praise thee in life in death and after death Amen Amen 127. Ah Lord let me always live in thee move by thee and have all my being from thee that is be all always in all places and things for thee 128. Let Ah let the world and the things of the world seem to be as they are Vanity and Vexation of spirit unto me 129. Let me delight in thee O God only in thee alone 130. Let me always so live as I may always be ready to dye that whensoever I dye I may be sure always to live that is to live Eternally 131. In Heaven O Lord where thou dost raign Where is no grief no loss but gain 132. When that the heart is as it were in God or God in the heart so that the mind doth only mind him Ah how unwilling is it to mind the world or any thing in the world of the world and how willing Ah
things are so much out of him that is out of his heart out of his mind out of his memory out of his affections his desires his will his love or his liking that his joy is augmented greatly that they are so outed of him for then only he saith Now I have what I would have yea all that ever I did desire or crave for my God is to me all things and much better than all other things 50. Ah Lord bury me I most humbly beseech thee thus in thy self that I may be dead to all other things to all things out of thee and besides thee let me Ah let me so possess thee and be possest so by thee as I may only and always mind thee and have thee only and always in my mind Let love to all the pleasures of the flesh though lawful be low poor icy cold and frozen to me that I may flee from them all to be heated by the fire of thy love to live in those blessed Sacred flames which is the life I desire to live for out of them I cannot live as I would life is to me death and death would be a sweet life delivering me from many deaths 51. Suffer me not Ah suffer me not O Lord to love any thing else how lovely or lawful soever it may be if it hinder or lessen never so little my loving of thee but bet me only choose prize esteem and delight in thy love and to walk worthy of it by all well-pleasing rejoycing to do thy holy will with my whole heart mind and will 52. Such and so great is thy love and thy goodness O Lord that thou delightest to make us good and then delightest in our goodness thou delightest to give us grace and then delightest in our graces thou delightest to make us holy and then delightest in our holiness thou delightest to make us perfect and then thou delightest in our perfection thou delightest to make us obedient and then thou delightest in our obedience thou delightest to make us lovely and then thou takest delight in our loveliness thou delightest Ah thou delightest to make us such as thou wouldst have us to be and then thou takest great delight in the work of thine hands even in thine own handy-work 53. Ah our great most great God how greatly great is thy greatness How greatly good is thy goodness how greatly true is thy truth how greatly just is thy Justice how greatly mighty is thy might how greatly lovely is thy love how greatly beautiful is thy beautiful countenance how greatly Ah how greatly sweet are all thy Sweets how greatly delightful are all thy delights how pleasant Ah how pleasant are all thy pleasant things with thee O God is fulness of all joy unspeakable joy and from thy right hand flow pleasures for evermore 54. Ah the joys the joys even in this worlds joys when God is in them and comes with them and when in that therein alone we take and make all our joy 55. God many times is so gracious as he takes us napping that is gives us grace when we sought it not yea gives us himself many times when we seek him not when we think not of him 56. How doth he many times measure out unto us and shower down upon us such measure of mercy even when we never measured the sweetness nor the greatness of what we received much less of that which we did not of that which we could not expect 57. Ah how much above all things is our God even in the want of all things of all this worlds all that soul Ah that soul that hath him finds not nor cannot find any want at all 58. But wanting Ah wanting him in the midst of all we have nothing even nothing at all but want all even all in the very enjoyment of all this worlds all 59. O God our God thou fillest us many times so full that we even flow over with thy fulness even then many times when we see our selves find feel and know our selves most empty and many times thou causest us to bear and bring forth most fruit even then when we think and see our selves most barren we have thee O God we have thee many times most when we think that we have thee least and thou art nighest us when we think Ah when we think that thou art farthest off from us such a good God is our God 60. How much better is it to be a Lazarus to beg at a Dives's door than be a Dives and suffer a Lazarus to beg at our doors and not to give him of our goods 61. How much better is it to have nothing at â—ll of this worlds all then to have this worlds all and give of it Ah and to give of it unto others nothing at all 62. How much better is it to feed on thee O God and to have nothing else to feed on than to feed on all things else and not to taste of thee of thine own sweet blessed most blessed and most sweet self O God in Christ who art the souls only food by faith 63. Having thee O God we are soon filled yea feasted and solaced with all delicious dainties but feeding on all other things and not tasting O God of thy pleasant things they have all no taste at all 64. O God thou know'st I would most willingly be Ah most willingly I would be a child yea a very fool in wisdom for the world or of worldly wisdom for to get or keep earthly things to be an old man in Christ to learn know feel and keep spiritual things Ah if I could always walk talk and live in the Spirit and obey the Spirit I would account all other joys and wisdom very toyes and meer foolishness 65. To forget all things out of God and besides God and to mind him so as to have nothing else in my mind this Ah this is my longing desire and I trust it will continue in me through grace and augment untill I have all I would have which is my Christ my Christ who is my God 66. Take all this worlds all ye men of the world give me my God my God and I will never ask yours your God But yet I would that ye had mine that my God were your God that my Portion were all your Portion also and that we might be ever brethren 67. Let me Ah let me be blind as it were to see beauty in no beauty out of thee O Christ dumb to hear no voice but thine Ah the still sweet voice of thy Spirit and senseless to feel no pleasure but in those things O God as are pleasing pretious and dear in thy sight lame so as I may not walk after any other thing but thee my God my God so that I may be only thine and none but thine at all times and in all places companies and things 68. He that hath not tasted of the sweetness of God even of those sweet sweets
and to stick the closer unto him who only is able to hold us up and to keep us from falling me thinks if we did not sometimes fall not that I desire to fall or stumble at all neither to sin in the least to have grace abound but me thinks if we did not at times fall we should not see his Fatherly love so clearly so greatly in taking care of us to preserve us by protecting of us from greater evils and dangers for when he hath lifted us up again after we have fallen Ah how do we cling to him how do we hold him fast how do we endeavour to have him always in our sight and how do we cry after him when we perceive any evil of affliction or temptation to be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evildoers and yet that such wicked evildoers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodness is such and so great for us let us always mightily prise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodies to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given always all honour glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods words and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 156. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even always in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindness with such high unkindness and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and pains as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindness and yet we remain so brutish and sensless stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to he overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and always acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largeness of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me always bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and knowest all the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Notwithstanding the greatness and numberless number of my sins thy goodness O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endless and everlasting love and kindness in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate my self truly and I embraced through Grace thy most gracious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sincerely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil ways to thy most blessed ways that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfeignedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonness but in some râ—easure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As