he lived and as he would have them live they would not only that they may be blessed in Christ but that Christ may be pleased in them They never have their wills but when Christ hath his will of them It does not suffice me saith a Christian that I have hopes of getting to Heaven by Christ at last I must be more holy here I would live so that my ways may please Christ How can I bear it to be so unlike to him to be so often breaking out and breaking loose from him O that I might hold me close by Him that I might in my whole course please the Lord. I would fain be a more exact and perfect Christian All this the Apostle follows so hard after Phil. 3.12 Not as though I had already obtained or were already perfect but I follow after if I may apprehend Brethren this is as far forth as you are Christians and this should be the sum of your desires and aims to get as near as possible to an exact conformity to Christ both to his Image that as he was so you may be in this World and to his will that you may stand compleat in all the wills of Christ 3. Christians falling so much short of that holy conformity to Christ they desire do fall under many doubts and fears how they shall attain O how short do I fall of such an holy frame of such an holy and undefiled course When I look upon what I would be and what I am what a distance is there how far am I yet behind how hardly can I reconcile my loose and lazy heart to such a strict and holy course My untoward heart O how it slugs and hangs back and will not come on O how it boggles breaks loose how many a step doth it make out of this narrow into the broad way O how it lusts after the ease and liberties of the flesh and how often doth it turn aside from Christ to the vain ways and lying vanities of this present World When I would be totally conformed to the Law of Christ I find another Law in my members carrying me out to a compliance with the Law of Sin I am warping every day I am wandring in every duty I am apt to lose my self in every Company I come into in every business I set my self to I cant but look upon it as a comfortable thing and as a blessed thing if mine heart might be ever with the Lord if I could keep me close by his side and constantly under his eye What a mercy what a joy would it be but Woe is me I cannot obtain I have wished and hoped and prayed I have tryed and tryed and still I fall short O how little hope is there left that yet I shall obtain 4. Their trust in Christ is their help against all their discouragements and fears Dost thou say there 's no hope I shall not obtain To perfect conformity to Christ thou canst not but is there no hope of thy becoming a more eminent Christian than now thou art Rebuke that unbelieving thought with this word yet I trust in Christ I shall He is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by Him Heb. 7.25 Not only to save them from wrath but to save them from sin to save them to the uttermost and to sanctifie them to the uttermost Do not say I cannot think how this weak slippery loose untoward heart I cannot think how it should ever come to be setled and fixed in such a severe and holy course do not say such a word Can'st thou not think how Yet he is able to do for thee abundantly above all that thou canst ask or think Eph. 3.20 His thoughts are not as thy thoughts his ways are not as thy ways the Lord Christ can over-do the thoughts of his People can do that for them which they never thought could be done yea and if thou wilt trust him he will do it Consider and study that Scripture Psal 37.5 Commit thy way to the Lord trust in Him and He will bring it to pass Thou hast many good things upon thine heart thou canst not take up with this poor and pittiful and in and out way of life that thou livest thou wouldst fain come to a more spiritual Heavenly active useful course of life This thou proposest to thy self this thou hast made some offers and attempts upon but thou canst not bring it to pass but still thou fallest short what shouldst thou now do why commit thy way to the Lord trust in Him and he shall bring it to pass and as v. 4. He shall give thee the desire of thine heart Christians I hope your hearts are set upon this holy conformity to Christ I hope you will not sit down by what you have already attained God forbid that that easie trifling way of Religion that is all that some of you have attained God forbid that this should satisfie you and I hope it does not I hope you are both wishing for and reaching towards a more strict and painful course Are you so hold on If you have prayed for it pray again pray without ceasing 1 Thes 5.17 Never give over till you have it Have you tryed what you can do to mend your course and mend your pace Try again and again never sit down as discouraged but hold you on keep to the way of the Lord as you can keep you going keep striving and labouring with your hearts with your might and in so doing commit your way to the Lord trust in him and he shall bring it to pass do what you can through the grace already received and what you cannot trust in Christ and he will do it for you 'T is not an idle trust as I said before that I exhort you to such a trust as to save you the labour Never say I trust in Christ that he will work my work in me and for me and so cast off all care your selves 't is not an idle trust but a stirring trust an encourageing trust heartening you to the work Keep doing keep going keep striving towards a more holy serviceable life and then trust in Christ and he shall bring it to pass and give you your hearts desire Christians my hearts desire and prayer for you is that you may be saved I would fain help you to Heaven and that you might be presented by Christ to the Father without spot or wrinkle and in order hereto I would fain see more of the spirit of Christianity and the holy Image of Christ breathing forth and shewing it self more conspicuously in all your ways I study what I can to Preach so to you that my words may be effectual to bring you up to an higher pitch of Holiness and this is my encouragement my trust in the living God that my labours with you shall not be in vain I Pray and trust I Preach and trust I labour among you and trust and what is
and their Sorrows and their Complaints to the Lord Ps 38.9 All my desire is before thee and my groaning is not hid from thee Ps 56.8 Put my Tears into thy Bottle If it be well with them then their Praises are sent up if they want any thing then up go their Desires to the Lord for Supply if they ail any thing if they be surprized by Sin swallowed up of Sorrow whatever it be that ails them they pour it out into the Bosom of their Friend Some-Messengers or other are daily sent up and whatever the Messengers be if it be a Prayer or a Sigh or a Tear this is still the Message tell him That I am either sick of love or sick for love for an Heart to love the Lord. Such Entercourses there are betwixt God and his Saints and these are a special part of their Communion with God and a special security against distances and enstrangments betwixt the Lord and them And it is to be observed That whenever there is a parting betwixt God and Souls there is a cessation or failing of these Friendly Entercourses Declining Souls how seldom do they look upwards they are so busie here below that they have no leisure and they grow so carnally-minded that they have no list to have much to do with God they restrain Prayer and restrain Holy Meditations the Lord seldom hears from them and when he does 't is so coldly and so dully that he can take no pleasure in it O Friends 't is a sign that there is a breach betwixt the Lord and you when you are fallen so into a neglect of Spiritual Duties Do your affections Heavenward flag do the fervour of your desires fail are your Prayers shortned and straitned are you so seldom and so remiss and so flat in your retirements to God can you not say at least My sighs and complaints are daily before him and my groanings are not hid from him What danger is there that God and your Souls may utterly part if you have thus lost your Correspondence with him 4. Often reckoning by this our Communion with God and our Friendship with him is maintained Often reckoning keeps long Friends whilst we keep our Account clear and fair so long there 's the less danger of a breach The best of Saints run upon score daily we go upon score for Mercies received from God and we go upon score for Sins committed against God and where there is such scoring there must be often reckoning 1. Our score of Mercies should be answered in our Praises and more abundant Duties and a reckoning must be kept both of what we have received and what we have returned of what the Lord hath done for our Souls and what our Souls have done ever the more for his Name Thus we should reckon for these O my soul the Lord hath done great things for thee hath brought thee from darkness to light hath saved thy life from death when thou wert going on in thy sins running with the multitude either after thy Covetousness or after thy Companions in the lusts and in the lewdness of thine heart when thou wert making all the haste thou couldst down to Hell there Grace met thee and whilst it let others run on it singled thee out and brought thee back out of that deaths Rode and hath brought thee into the way of Life and of a dead Sinner hath made thee this living Soul O what a wonder of Mercy was there and since how many a kindness hath it shewed thee how often hath the same Grace met thee in the House of God and taught thee and instructed thee and quickned thee and comforted thee how often hath Grace met thee in thine own House met thee in secret met thee upon thy knees and hath enlarged thine heart and helped thee to pour out thy Soul before the Lord and hath poured in upon thee such a sense of the kindness of God to thee as hath delighted and even ravished thine heart And what great multitudes of other instances have there been of the renewed Kindnesses of the Lord to thee O to what a reckoning do thy Mercies rise hast thou kept the Account by thee if thou hast what hath been returned in answer of the loving kindness of the Lord As 't was said concerning Mordecai who had saved the Kings Life Esther 6.3 What honour and dignity hath been done to Mordecai for this Canst not thou say The Lord hath saved my life from death and done for me these great things what honour have I done to the Lord for all this And if upon thy reckoning made it be found as 't was there found in that instance there hath been nothing done or but little done then thou wilt see that there must be more done or God will be angry 2. Our score of sins should be reckoned up in order to the getting them crossed by faith in the Bloud of Christ and repentance from dead works Thus therefore thou shouldst go on O my Soul thou seest what God hath done for thee but what is it that thou hast done against the God of thy Mercy how many slights hast thou put upon the Grace of God how often hast thou abused Mercy hast thou not grown secure hast thou not grown wanton hast thou not been haughty and lifted up in the pride of thine Heart Remember thy frowardness and quarrellings thy backbitings and talebearings hast thou no lies no false and fraudulent dealing to put down upon thy account dost thou not use to play the Hypocrite and come before the Lord with such an hollow heart and such hollow duties as if thou meanst to mock him to the face art thou not either a backslider or a loyterer if thou hast not lost ground and fallen backward yet hast thou not lost time and not gone on forward hast thou no slothfulness and negligence and non-proficiency to write down against thy self hast thou not somewhat against thy self for thy covetousness and over-eagerness upon the World hast thou no wrongs of thy conscience to be remembred dost not find much of these and many more evils that thou art run in score with thy God for and what hath there hitherto been done for the crossing out of the score Sure if thou goest on thus thou art like to hear of him in another way than thou wouldst or it may be not hear from him at all Beloved the keeping good reckoning betwixt the Lord and us being of so great importance and so necessary to the continuing his presence and favour with us I shall give you some short directions concerning it 1. Let every one especially look to his own personal reckoning We must reckon for our people also how great things God hath done for our Nation and his Churches amongst us and how great have been the sins of our People What have our Princes and our Priests what have our Magistrates and our Ministers done What have the Sins of Congregations of our
Kingdom to whom he said Thou shalt be over mine house and according to thy Word shall all my people be ruled onely in the throne will I be greater then thou Conscience is subject to none but God God is greater then Conscience 1 Joh. 3.20 God is greater then our hearts that is then our Consciences But next under God Conscience hath the supreme dominion in the Soul and as the Centurion to his Souldiers so Conscience where it maintains Authority says to all the faculties of the Soul to one go and it goeth to another come and it cometh and to every one do this and it must be done Now as Conscience is faithful and diligent or as it is careless and negligent so do matters go in the Soul a faithful watchful conscience sets the whole soul in good order a negligent sleepy conscience lets all run to ruine when God hath given men up to a spirit of slumber when conscience slumbers the whole soul falls asleep or which is worse runs out into all manner of disorders When God will awaken sleepy souls he begins with conscience awakens conscience first and that will awaken all their powers God awakens conscience mostly by frights as the Gaoler by an earthquake and Saul by an affrighting voice from Heaven Saul Saul why persecutest thou me Soul Soul what art thou doing why slightest thou the Lord why fightest thou against God There 's nothing but such thunder from Heaven that will rouse a sleepy conscience But though there 's none but God that can awaken conscience yet God ordinarily does it by our selves sets the soul on work upon its self to its own awakening a word or it may be but a thought comes into the heart which is made to stick into conscience and to sting it out of sleep and when conscience is stung and begins to stir there 's no more sleep no more quiet in the soul When the Master of the house is up and about once he rouzes all the Servants O Friends get your consciences to be awakened get your consciences to be stirring and then all your faculties will up and be doing That conscience may be a stirring conscience 1. Let Conscience open its ears and hear 2. Let it open its eyes and see 3. Let the mouth of Conscience be open and speak 4. Let it be quick and tender 1. Let Conscience open its ears and hear what the Lord speaks Let the voice of the Lord have an impression upon conscience when the Word comes into the thoughts onely it 's quickly gone and does nothing or when it hath some sudden work upon the affections that wears off but when it enters into the conscience when conscience hears the Word of the Lord when the Word which we preach from God is as the Apostles word 2 Cor. 5.11 made manifest in the conscience then it is in a way to prosper Let conscience open its ears first and 2. Let conscience open its eyes and see see how it is with the Soul how sad and miserable the state and way of the Soul is see how it 's like to be to grow worse and worse see how it should be and what is to be done that it may be better 3. Let Conscience have its mouth open Sleepy consciences are silent consciences those that see nothing will say nothing Let your consciences speak to you whatever the Word preaches to conscience let conscience preach it to the whole heart O Friends if we could so preach to you as to set your consciences a preaching to you the same things if when we preach to you repent and recover your selves out of the snares of the Devil we could get your consciences to preach repentance to you if there were such a voice heard within you I see I must repent I am lost and undone if I repent not if when we give a rebuke to you out of the Word your consciences also would rebuke you if the Word calls you thou unbeliever thou child of the Devil thou hypocrite thou loyterer thou backslider let but conscience say the same 't is true what the Word speaks I am an unbeliever I am an hypocrite a child of the Devil an idler a backsliding soul I cannot deny it 't is too true what the Word speaks concerning me If the Word threatens thou shalt have thy portion with unbelievers and hypocrites thy place among the children of the Devil if thou speedily repent not let conscience say the same this must be my place and my portion if I amend not there 's no help for me there 's no hope for me if I continue and go on as I am If the Word exhorts you Be converted thou unbelieving soul put away thine hypocrisie arise sluggard return O backsliding soul remember whence thou art fallen and recover thy first love and do thy first works let conscience speak the same words go to Christ O my soul turn from thy sins make thy peace with God get thee a new heart be upright with God be sound in the Faith follow the Lord thorowly follow the Lord fully as ever thou lookest for mercy do it as ever thou hopest for pardon do it wouldst thou ever see the salvation of God thou must count upon it to seek after the grace of God and increase and abound therein unto the end and then something would be like to be done 4. Let Conscience be quick and tender 1. Let the ears of Conscience be open and let it be quick of hearing 2. Let its eyes be open and let it be quick sighted 3. Let its mouth be open and let it speak quick home 1. Let its ears be open and let it be quick of hearing Be not of those fat and gross souls which are dull of hearing How many deaf ears do we preach to that hear nothing whose hearts will hear no more then the stone of the wall or the beam of the timber and of those that will hear something how many that are dull of hearing we have much work and hard work to beat any thing into them O get an hearing ear and be quick of hearing Swift to hear as Jam. 1.19 2. Let the eyes of Conscience be open and let it be quick sighted so that it may espy and observe the smallest matter of duty and sin and let it be tender eyed and not able to bear the least of evils some mens eyes can see none but the grossest of evils can see drunkenness to be evil or swearing or gross lying to be evils but for ordinary intemperances and excesses so they do not eat and drink themselves into very beasts and sots though they sit with the Drunkards and waste time with them and their estates with them and be foolish and jolly and carnally merry with them so they be not downright drunk they 'll tell you they see no evil in it Other men though they can see smaller evils yet their consciences can swallow them though conscience be never so quick
Neighbours of our Families been We are as Members of the same Body concerned in all these and therefore must keep a publick reckoning But our special reckoning which we must most insist upon must be our own personal reckoning Concerning our Mercies we must say as the Psalmist Ps 66.16 Come and I 'll tell and reckon up what the Lord hath done for my Soul For our Sins we must say to our selves what Israel was rebuked for not saying Jer. 8.6 What have I done there 's no man that repented nor said What have I done May be we may some of us be telling too much what others have done the Sins of Princes and great Ones the Faults of our Neighbours and Acquaintance may be too much in our Mouths though they be not so much as they should be upon our Hearts yet our Tongues will run and catch up every evil report and be spreading it abroad making it our ordinary talk and discourse raking up all the evil news we can hear in the Town or Country as if we were the very Sinks to gather in all the Filth of the Places we live in and then casting back the stink of it in our discourses This is a wicked practice which I have more than once warned you of and O that it were avoided and amended But whilest we vainly talk what hath this man or that woman done how foolishly how proudly how frowardly have they behaved themselves O how very seldom is it that we mind our own reckoning Lord what have I done O my Soul what hast thou done Here our chief business lies to mind and make our own personal reckoning Let every man prove his own work saith the Apostle Gal. 6.4 Let every man search his own heart let every man observe and take an account of his own ways and goings 2. Do not under reckon Do not carelesly or deceitfully skip over any of your faults make a plain and perfect account deal faithfully betwixt God and your Souls be not like the unjust Steward Luke 16. when there 's fifty or an hundred owing for do not take your bill and write down but twenty or but ten do not say to your selves as the Lord to the Church in Pergamos Rev. 2.14 I have a few things against thee a few small faults I have God may have many things and great things against you and if you will reckon truly you may find many and great things against your selves 3. Level your accounts 1. For your mercies that you have received the way to level them is to see to it that ye walk worthy of all the mercies of God and that you receive none of the grace of God in vain Let it not suffice you that you live better lives then sinners that have received no such mercies as you have I thank God I am not as this Publican no nor as this Pharisee I am no lewd Liver nor no proud Hypocrite shall that suffice you You may be as neither of these and yet God may have much against you that you are no better then you are You ought to live up to all the light you have received to the love you have tasted of to the experiences you have had of the manifold kindnesses and compassions of the Lord to your souls There are some of you that God hath done more for and bestowed more upon more knowledge more helps more grace then upon multitudes of weaker Christians your life must be as much above the ordinary rank your care and your zeal and your diligence and your faithfulness must be as much above the lower sort of Christians as you have been set above them in what you have received Some of you will not say but the Lord hath been abundantly gracious to you he hath not done by every Christian as he hath done by me his grace hath abounded his kindnesses have abounded O how deeply hath my soul tasted how gracious the Lord is And what should you hereupon say further O this you should say What shall I render how should I live Study O my soul to walk worthy of all this grace O let me have my conversation in Heaven let my conversation be in all things as it becometh the Gospel let me be holy harmless lively fruitful that I may shew forth the vertues of him that hath called me out of darkness into his marvellous light God hath been marvellously gracious to me he hath shewed me marvellous loving kindness he that is mighty hath done for me great things help Lord help me O my God that as thou hast made me such an instance of thy great mercy so I may become an instrument of thy greater praise 2. For your sins the way to level the reckoning for them is by getting the scores to be crossed and having them all blotted and struck out of your account Get them crossed 1. By repentance Acts 3.19 Repent ye that your sins may be blotted out Whatever sins you find upon your account there they must stand against you till by repentance they are blotted out Repentance is the washing us from our sins and till they be washed out of your lives they will never be blotted out of your book Fall upon repentance every one of you have you lived an earthly and worldly life O repent that you have Have you been proud or self-conceited or self-willed of a froward a contentious spirit O let your souls and all that is within you say It repents me I am grieved at the heart that ever I have been such a wretch Have you under all your professions of Christ lived a carnal careless heedless idle unsavoury unprofitable life what should you say O it repents me that I have been no more spiritual and diligent and savoury and useful in my generation Repent and reform repent and amend let it grieve you at the heart that you have lost so much time that you have lived to so little purpose that you have been such barren vines such fruitless figtrees in the vineyard of the Lord and now let your root spring forth let your branches shoot up let your buds and blossoms appear and grow up to more fruitfulness this is repentance and nothing short of this Amend your ways come you to a better life a more holy and heavenly life that 's the way to have all your former sinfulness and unfuitfulness blotted out 2. By faith in the bloud of Christ 'T is not your own tears that will wash away your sins 't is onely the bloud of Christ 1 John 1.7 your iniquities must not onely be purged but be pardoned too whatever repentance may do towards it 't is the bloud of Christ and faith in his bloud that must both get them purged and pardoned Do not onely say If I have done iniquity I hope I shall do so no more I hope through the grace of God I shall never live as I have lived but besides this you must get your pardon for what you have
on a Flower and sometimes on a Dunghill but stays nowhere Our better thoughts are so transient and in and out that they are to no purpose Sometimes one Scripture comes to mind but before any thing is made of it away from that to another and another till all be forgotten and become unfruitful Sometimes one Duty is thought upon then off from that to another sometimes a little glance heavenward by and by we fall and pitch upon the earth one thought thrusts out another till all that 's good be lost Such hoverings up and down there are from this thing to that as brings an utter confusion in the heart These also may be reckoned among our vain thoughts which we are cautioned against Jer. 4.14 How long shall vain thoughts lodge within thee Not only our thoughts of vanity but our thinking of good things in vain and to no purpose these also are vain thoughts Exercise your thoughts upon good things upon the matters of God and your Souls and exercise them to purpose on them That your thoughts may be stirring thoughts so as to stir up your hearts towards God and Godliness they must be 1. Searching thoughts looking upon and looking into the things of God Ps 77.6 My spirit made diligent search Searching looks deep into things There are 3 great deeps that we should be searching into the deep of the Heart and what we can find there either of good or evil the deep of the Pit the Infernal Pit for what we may find there to awaken us and the deep mysteries of God and his Gospel for what we can find there to keep us doing If you would be thinking more what there is within you what a world of wickedness there is in your hearts if you would be thinking oftner what there is beneath what a dismal place your sins are preparing for you if you would be thinking more of the mysteries of God and Godliness of the Counsels and instructions and ways of God of the kindnesses and compassions of God of the severities and wrath of God and looking narrowly and deeply into them such thoughts as these would be awakening stirring thoughts but then they must be 2. Working thoughts looking into these things and staying and dwelling and working upon them Think upon your evil hearts and never leave thinking and thinking till you be affected with what you find in them think till your hearts ake for the evil you see in them think upon your sin till your heatts tremble and turn from your sins 'T was said of Peter Mat. 14.72 When he thought thereon he wept Psalm 119.59 I thought on my ways and turned my feet unto thy Testimonies Think on all your evils till your hearts be thus affected with them and thereupon be put to flight to make an hasty escape from them Think on God and on Holiness and on Grace till your hearts be athirst for God and his Grace so as to put your selves upon following hard after him Think on these things with an applicatory eye to yourselves Yet again bethink your selves whether you have escaped or how you may escape the evils that are within or before you whether you have obtained or how you may obtain the good things you desire Think how 't is with you how much you are under the power of sin how short you are of the Grace of God or if you have any how very low 't is with your Souls in this respect how little you have gotten or how much you have lost And when you find how bad 't is then think farther Is it good for me is it safe for me to continue at this pass is there any hope that I may recover out of this case is it worth my pains to seek out after an escape what shall I do shall I venture on in this idle trifling carnal way as I have done shall I venture an eternal loss an eternal misery and wo rather than put my self to it to recover shall I venture my soul on these Cobwebs these rotten and deceitful Boughs that I have hang'd mine hopes upon mine heart tells me I may be saved however though I have never more grace than I have now though I never take more care than I do now I hope for all that it may be well at last shall I venture all upon such an hope shall I venture to sin in hope and sleep in hope and loyter in hope that yet I shall obtain mercy is it not most evident that the hope that serves for nothing but to secure men in a carnal sinful careless way is a lying hope a damning hope 'T is a lye this carnal hope 't is a lye that I have in my right hand I shall be undone by it for ever and ever there 's no hope there 's no hope but I shall be lost and perish eternally unless I shake off my sins and shake up mine heart to follow on after the Lord. Friends would not such thoughts as these be stirring thoughts could you sleep in your sins or under your backslidings were you more exercised in such thoughts as these O put upon such thoughts think of the sad case your Souls are in and think till you weep over your selves think of the dreadful things you are in danger of and think till you tremble think of the things you have received and heard from the Lord and think till they pierce and enter into your Souls The many things that I have spoken to you in this matter let them not be forgotten but recover them back to your minds and call them over in your thoughts and set your hearts a working thus upon them All the words I can speak all the counsels I can give you for your recovery they will never do you good nor work a cure if you set not your hearts on work upon them as you know your bodily food will never nourish you nor your Physick cure you unless nature work both with your Food and Physick Friends I beseech you in the Lord that you deny me not this request that you will every one of you bestow some such thoughts upon your souls what will you deny me in this will you not grant me thus much I do not now perswade you to spend your money upon your souls to be at the charge of all your substance for your souls recovery this is that at present that I would desire of you that you would every day spend some serious thoughts about them and what will you not do thus much not spare a few thoughts for your eternal welfare Is not the scaping the fire worth your thinking of I know you will say O 't is worth thinking and working and running and labouring all that ever I can and spending all that ever I have to save my life to save my soul every one of you will say so and yet for all that I doubt there are many of you that will not do this little thing to spend some