Selected quad for the lemma: mercy_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
mercy_n	heart_n	let_v	lord_n	11,278	5	4.0773	3	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A43768	Conjugall counsell, or, Seasonable advice, both to unmarried, and married persons directing the first how to enter into marriage estate, and the other how to demeane themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that estate of life blads them to, that God may have glory, the church edification, and themselves and families, present and future comfort, tending much (by the blessing of God) to a through reformation of all the enormities of these evil times / by T.H. ...	Hilder, Thomas.	1653 (1653)	Wing H1974; ESTC R20660	113,375	218

like it not that I should enjoy her as my wife and that because she hath too much of the feare of God in her as they think and not outward portion so much as they would have me enjoy with a wife and truly I have long waited for their consents and used the best meanes I can to enjoy the same but do even despaire of ever gaining of it now Sir I beseech you give me a word or two of counsell and direction what I shall do in this case I answer Deare heart I condole thy condition and cannot but sympathize with thee I see thou art in a conflicting estate with the devill with thy corruptions and with thy unnaturall and degenerate Parents yet there is some Balme in Gilead for thee only first take by the way a word or two of advise It appeares thou art qualified for and call'd to the Marriage estate and hast a fit opportunity to change thy life only the obstruction sticks here thy Parents will not consent and that upon the grounds thou hast spoken of Then I say in the feare of the Lord set apart a day two or three to seeke God by Fasting Humiliation and Prayer there bewaile thy own sins in generall that they may have had an Influence on the hearts of thy Parents to bind them up and harden them against thee But if thou dost know any particular sin that thou hast perpetrated and that God may maintaine a controversie against thee for it this way be sure Anatomize that before the Lord on that day of thy humiliation rip it up let all the cursed lineaments of it appeare labour to affect thy Heart with the consideration of all the sad circumstances and aggravations of the same and rent the Caule of thy heart before the Lord by unfeigned humiliation and implore his Mercy for pardon and reconciliation Then in a second place seek to God to humble thee likewise for thy Parents sin Thirdly seek God to humble thy Parents for their Iniquities and to pardon their sin Lastly seek God to be gracious to thee in wheeling their hearts toward thee Now when thou hast this done and yet hast not prevailed beg the prayers of such as have an interest in God both for thy selfe and for thy Parents which done if no cloud yet appeare for thy comfort so big as a mans hand then desire some godly Ministers and other worthy Christians to grapple with thy Parents by perswasive Arguments tending to the melting their frozen hearts and for the turning them toward thee Now if none of these meanes can prevaile then wait a convenient time expecting some comfort for thee but if none come and that thy necessities remaine still for the enjoyment of the Marriage estate Acts 5.29 then know thou art bound to obey God rather than man God commands thee to marry though thy Parents forbid thee In such a case I am confident that thou shalt not sin by marrying against the unreasonable desires of thy Parents Mind that of the Apostle Eph. 6.1 Children obey your Parents in the Lord for that is right Parents must not be obeyed but in the Lord. God is the Father of soules and spirits now the spirit is the better part of a man we must obey our spirituall Father rather than our Earthly When the Apostle had spoke of subjection to our Earthly Fathers Heb. 13.9 he adds Shall we not much rather be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live To draw to a conclusion Obey thy heavenly Fathers call in this particular and with all humility and thankfulnesse enter into the Marriage condition yet one thing let me add thou must labour to carry thy selfe with much care in the humble observance of thy Parents in all lawfull things and to counsell thy wife to do the same and then thou knowst not but that the Lord may give thee in their hearts to thine and thy Yoak-fellowes great comfort even after Marriage But to shut up all let not any thing here discust be understood as to weaken the power of Parents over their Children in relation to their Marriage for that power is of God and it is inviolable but in this singular condition which blessed be the Lord doth not often fall out though too often The fourth meanes to obtaine a good wife In the fourth and last place If thou dost desire to have a good Wife and a meet helper Then thou must be very carefull to seek by honest meanes and by no other to obtaine the love of the woman whom thou dost affect with Conjugall love and whom thou dost desire may be thy yoak fellow to live and dye with Now for thy orderly and Christian proceeding with her I shall endeavour very briefly to give thee a few directions When thou shalt come first to speech with her thou having first gained the consent of Parents on both sides then let her understand with as much brevity as thou canst in regard of her bashfulnesse and modesty the truth of thy love and hearty affection to her desiring her to take it into her consideration and to consult with God and her Parents about it and then to do as God shall perswade her heart and Parents advise her Thou maiest also then or at the next meeting declare unto her the dispositions of thy Nature also what Estate thou hast to live on and what Calling thou art of if she be a stranger thereto But be sure thou tell her the truth and nothing but the truth dealing faithfully with her in these and in whatsoever else is necessary for her to know After which give her a seasonable time to consider of all Now when thou hast thus done let thy affections sleep but thy judgement be kept waking leave all to God commit this thy way to him trust also in the Lord and if it be for his glory and thy good he will bring it to passe Psal 37.5 In the meane time sit down quietly and rest patiently not distracting thy selfe for the event of any thing Now if after all this thou receive an Answer to this effect That she can love thy Person like thy Nature accept of thy Estate and approve of thy Calling and that she is very well content to live and dye with thee Then in the Name and feare of God thou maiest proceed to a Contraction and in seasonable time to consummate the Marriage and thou maiest expect through the blessing of God a great deale of Comfort and be sure to find it when thy proceedings have been so upright But suppose that when she returnes an Answer to thee that it be an answer of repulse That she cannot love thee nor approve of any thing in relation to thee so well as to bestow her selfe on thee and doth entreat thee to be well satisfied and to take it for an Answer I say suppose it to be thus Then thou must labour to search into thy heart and life to find out the cause of it

to his VVife Now this he should do the more carefully that is walke in a good conversation before his wife because most men and women in the world are apt to be led by example good or bad more than by precept The examples of Superiours are of ●n attractive nature to Inferiours especially if the Inferiour do love and reverence the Superiour as the wife doth if her heart be married ●o her Husbands there is an intrinsecall principle in her to carry out her desires and endeavours to tread in his steps she will endeavour ●o imitate her Husband in his words and acti●ns The VVives of Jacob were brought up in ●dolatry but they hauing better examples set ●hem by their Husbands of worshipping the ●ue God they will be of his Religion Their ●ather worshipped false Gods Gen. 31.19 30. But they will pray to the true God it is said God hearkened unto Leah Gen. 30.17 then ●oubtlesse she prayed that must be implied ●en in ver 22. God hearkened unto Rachel ●o sure she had also prayed Mahlon and ●hilion take them wives in Moab who were ●otorious Idolaters but from their Husbands ●imples they had learned to serve the true ●od of Israel Ruth especially was brought to constant love of the true God for when her other in Law had put her upon the triall and ●d perswaded her Sister to returne backe ●aine to her people and to her gods yet ●e would by no meanes follow her Mothers ●ounsell nor her Sisters Apostatizing exam●e but strongly adheres to the true God of ●ael and will forsake Countrey and deare na●rall friends besides rather than depart from ●e God of her Husband read the whole ●hapter of the first of Ruth Thus we see that good examples from Husbands may gaine upon the spirits of their wives some good Affections to goodnesse and care to imitate the best Patterns Now as good examples in Husbands may with Gods blessing produce glorious and comfortable effects upon the hearts and in the Conversations of good wives so on the contrary bad examples from Husbands before their wives may bring them to the height of all wickednesse and pertinaciousness in those their perishing waies without the infinite mercy of God in Christ Of which take a president or two in 1 King 16.25 it is said that Omri wrought evill in the eyes of the Lord and did worse than all that were before him And then in ver 30. it is said that Ahab the Son of Omri did evill in the sight of the Lord above all that were before him VVhere by the way we see the Son imitates the Father in his wicked waies Now as Ahab was a worshipper of false Gods so he was an enemy to the Prophets of the true God for proofe whereof mind the 9 10. and 17. verses of the 18. Chap. of 1 King Also Chap 21.20 so again in Chap. 22.8 where he plainely saith he hated Micaiah but observe how his accursed wife Jezebel followeth his vile way of persecuting Elijah she hates and seekes his life 1 Kings 19.2 But if it be said it is to no purpose this way to insert passages of wickedness relating to Omri and Ahab they were not Husband and VVife but Father and Son I answer it is true they were so but that is taken notice of only to prove Ahab was a wicked man before he had Jezebel to wife who did stir him up to wickednesse 1 Kings 21.25 for she might be both a follower of his bad examples as doubtlesse she was and yet a provoker of him to abundance of notorious vilenesse But take a president cleare from all exception from Ananias and Saphira his wife Ananias observing the forwardnesse of many true Chistians whom God had blest with some temporall Estates in the time of others great extremities by reason of poverty in times of persecution that they were willing to sell all and communicate it to others which held out the life of love to Christ Ananias I say observing this he plaies the close hypocrite and bids as faire to maintaine the name and forme of a Christian as others did but he detaines a part of the money in a private way for to maintaine him and his wife yet pretends and affirmes the contrary His wife Saphira follows his example of hypocrisie joynes with him in false affirmations and so both perish together Acts 5.1 to the end of ver 10. Beloved Thou that art a Husband as chiefly in relation to God and thy own soule hast need to walke accurately with all circumspection in the whole course of thy life to beware of any scandalous waies out of pitty to thy poore yoak-fellow that by thy example thou lead her not into the way of sin and so to hell for ever without the infinite and boundlesse mercy of God For if thou be carelesse herein Dives in Hell will rise up in judgement against thee at the last day for in that place of torment he had some charity as we may say to his poore Brethren I know it is but a Parable but yet there is much in Parables and thou hast none on Earth to the soule of thy poore wife yet this I must grant that in Hell there can be no charity for that is a grace and so cannot be there but to speake properly it was a fruit of selfe-love he knew he had led his Brethren by his example into the way of sin and that leades to Hell and that if they should come there it would aggravate his horrour and guilt And truly if thou shouldst shun giving evill examples to thy wife on that ground that is out of selfe-love it were better to do it so than not at all for we see it by daily experience that such as the Husband is the Wife is divers times the same if he be zealous in good duties and frequent therein if he be full of selfe-deniall and of patience under the Rod of God resigning himselfe to be at his dispose if he be of an humble spirit full of Temperance Sobriety Love and of a pitifull and tender heart to those that are in misery and ready to every good worke and labouring to hold forth the power of godliness in Mortification and Vivification in dying to sin and living to righteousness If he labour to live by faith against sense If he labour to worship God publikely privately and secretly I say if the Husband have these graces these qualifications and Divine Operations O how will a gracious wife heave and strive pant after and gaspe for spirituall vigour in the strength of God to imitate the same in her sweet precious heavenly and Angelicall Husband Ah Deare heart let me beg of thee and beseech thee with all the obsecrations in the world that thou wouldst give thy wife no worse examples than those for hereby thou shalt glorifie God Edifie and build up thy wife in grace discharge a grand Matrimoniall duty and gaine demonstrations of thy present gracious condition here and

their hearts and affections with their persons and favours then they must be frown'd upon call'd disobedient Children and disinherited cast off as if they were but a bastard Generation But if this in a speciall manner be not a provoking Children to wrath and a discouraging of them I know not what is which sin of Parents the Apostle forbids Col. 3.21 Now in the feare of God let Parents be admonished to beware of this sin of enforcing their Children to accept of such Husbands and Wives as themselves only chose without nay against the free consent of their Children But if Parents will not be exhorted to the contrary let them know that they are in a high degree accessary to all the brawlings and contentions that fall out after such Marriages betweene their Children and they must answer before the Bar of Gods Tribunall for all breach of Covenant all Marriage-bed defilement for all poysonings or other bloudy plots to take away the naturall lives of either person and they are guilty of all disorders of all non-performance of Family duties of all dishonour brought to God by their Children in the Marriage estate and so by undeniable consequence of their Childrens Damnation for such sins though the Children are accomptable before God for their owne sins too Thou that art a Father or Mother remember that saying Call the Maid and aske at her mouth Gen. 24.57 We have been larger on this particular than was at first intended but Beloved we hope for thy profit and so we conclude it and passe on The fourth qualification c. In the fourth place if thou wouldst have a meet helper thou must looke at fitnesse of Age in that woman whom thou desirest to be thy Wife Or else how canst thou expect meet helpe from her in all conditions If a man of fit age for Marriage chuse a girle for his Wife or if a Young Man Marry with an old woman and expect furtherance from such in that estate of life they befoole themselves for the Girle stands in need of a Dame to instruct her in all points of womanhood to fit her for to be a good wife and the old woman stands in need of a Nurse to waite on her in her decrepid Age. Now in this particular we shall use the more concisenesse because we have spent some time this way before yet we must confesse those lines did chiefly relate to cautionate the Man not to mind Marriage before ripe in Age for that state of life But as a man must not marry till of fit Age so neither must he chuse a wife therein unfit yet both Divinity and Philosophy will justifie that man that doth match himselfe to a Girle rather than he who doth marry an old woman for a Girle may in time become a woman fit to beare Children and guide the house as the Apostle requires 1 Tim. 5.14 which are spirituall ends of Marriage But the old woman will be more and more unfit Now though it be not convenient that a woman of eight or ten yeares older than the man should be joyn'd in Marriage with him yet no man of understanding dare deny but that it may be lawfull provided that the woman be not past Child-bearing and withall be of an able and healthfull constitution But if otherwise two speciall ends of Marriage are frustrate and then it is a sin against God and Nature too to be so joyned in Marriage But when a man about twenty sixe yeares old shall be married to a Maid of about twenty or a Man about thirty yeares old shall marry with a maid about twenty foure such Conjunctions are of good report and such persons as they are Youthfull together so they grow aged together and are never estranged in their affections one towards another if other qualifications also correspond And besides the fruit of such Marriages ordinarily by the blessing of God is to have Children betimes in youthfull daies when their Parents can best care for them and take paines with them which Children if the Lord give them grace prove as a staffe or support to their Parents under God in their old Age which is a blessing abundantly desirable But all men both Religious and Morall do condemn such men as in their youthfull daies will for any sinister end in the world joyne themselves in Marriage with women of above fifty nay Gen 18.23 sometimes above sixty yeares Old There can be no Issue from such Marriages unlesse God worke a miracle which who can expect without great presumption And besides this disagreement in yeares breeds a disagreement in life for a young man cannot entirely love a woman so much older than himselfe that when he is in the prime of his yeares and strength that then his wife should be crazie unhealthfull unhandsome for him to have neere society with and of a withered body whereby he is Obnoxious to an inundation of temptations of all kinds from his spirituall enemies even to uncleannesse to unbridled passions to Company-keeping and so to the neglect of the duties of his Calling and of his Family and so to lavish expence to the undoing of him and his thus I leave to thy selfe to judge whether a fit Age be a good qualification in a woman to make her a meet helper to thee in the Marriage estate or no. The fifth qualification c. The fifth Qualification necessary to make a woman a meet helper is to be descended from the Loines of godly Parents But before I proceed to shew thee how this is necessary I shall briefly premise one thing viz. That thou maiest warrantably take a wife from India whose Parents were Heathens from Rome from Spaine or out of any prophane and irreligious Family provided that her selfe be a sincere Convert a godly pious and religious woman for it is not her Parents and thee but she and thou that make but one flesh this premised I say it is necessary to marry a wife out of a godly Family First in relation to thy Off-spring Secondly to thy selfe First in relation to thy Off-spring for hereby the Covenant of Grace runs to them in the fuller streame the entaile is the stronger as I may say God threatens to visit the iniquity of the Fathers upon the Children but to the third and fourth Generation of them that hate him But he promiseth to shew mercy unto thousands of them that love him and keep his Commandements Exod 20.5 6. God makes a Covenant with seeds seed Isa 59.21 If thy Children can look back and upon good grounds conceive their Progenitors for many Ages past did feare the Lord they may if they fear the Lord themselves comfortably conclude that through free Grace they have an Interest in the Covenant of Grace even in that Covenant that God made with Abraham to be the God of him and his seed for ever so may comfortably improve that Covenant by a true and lively faith to assure their soules that they

Art thou a Husband Labour to performe thy duties to thy Wife Art thou a Wife Labour to discharge all those duties thou owest to thy Husband and both of you neglect not any of your duties you are obliged to discharge to your Children and Servants And it also concernes you to take care to see that your Children c. performe their duties to you which duties of all kinds you must mind and be informed in because hereby as you have heard God is glorified and both Church and State furthered in tranquillity and happinesse for by this means as before exprest you shall prevent a whole Catalogue of grievous sins from being perpetrated And so shall save the Ministers of God a great deale of paines ease their Loines and preserve their Lungs And prevent a great deale of trouble to all truly godly Magistrates who dare not beare the sword in vaine who had rather praise you and all others when they see you do that which is good than otherwise to be a terrour to you Beloved these are times look'd upon by many as times of Reformation And truly I look upon them as calling for much in that kind But let me tell you that let Ministers do their duties and Magistrates performe theirs yet if Governours of Families be remiss in the discharge of what concernes them in their relations in their little Churches and private Common-wealths all will come to nothing I professe the well instructing and right governing of Families is the eye of the worke I could wish with my soule that such as have power to make and constitute Laws would lay a very considerable Mulct upon all Governours of Families that neglect their duties to their Children and Servants to instruct and reforme them and that the same might not only extend to their purses but to their persons too You have heard before that by this meanes soules are sent to hell by multitudes such evill persons as these are what are they but the devils Factors and their sin and punishment one day without repentance will find them out but most sad of all men is the condition of such as even out of conscience as they pretend cast off the care of the soules of such as are under their charge they say and plead hard for it that none ought to be restrained from sin by use of meanes all Ordinances publique and private must be laid aside nay cast off with scorne and disdaine and men and women they say must wait for revelations from heaven sure they have had revelations from hell for their direction herein but from heaven they shall never have any unlesse it be in the demonstration of the wrath of God if they persist impenitently and for Family discipline there must be none let their Children Sweare Lye profane the Sabbaths or run in any vile way provided they call not their Parents and Masters vile Hereticks and abominable Schismaticks and offer to prove them such from the Word of God all is well for they say they can put no grace into their hearts but God will if they belong to him in due time Oh what tongue can tell or what heart can think what will be the portion of these men without Gods infinite mercy in converting and reforming them Truly contrary to intention when we first entred upon this Use we have made this digression it should have been a part of the other Use but being then omitted I was loath to let it wholly passe You may be pleased to remember that but even now I told you that were Governors of Families that if you did conscientiously discharge the duties which you owe c. you might hereby glorifie God and the tranquillity both of Church and Common-wealth would hereby be furthered c. So in the last place from hence you may conclude that as you glorifie God by this means and do good unto his poore Church on Earth by the encreasing and purging the members thereof that through the Lords free Grace in Christ you are Members of the Church of Christ here Militant and shall be of the Church Triumphant in the highest Heavens There to enjoy the fulnesse of happinesse at the right hand of Christ and all glorious and blessed Union and Communion with God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost and with innumerable and blessed Angels and Saints even the soules of just men made perfect even for ever and ever O my soule praise thou the Lord praise ye the Lord. FINIS Christian Friend By reason of the Authors living far from London and also his urgent Imployments hindring him that he could not attend the Presse there hath some faults escaped and are here inserted in this ensuing Errata which thou maiest be bleased to mend with thy Pen c. In the Paternal Advice in p. 21. l. 11. f. groanes r. grave In the Epistle Dedicator p. 2. l. 22. f. and r. for l. 28. r. as upon Page 2 line 29 for a read the. p. 11 l. 32 33 f. poverty r. penury the same l. f. destruction r. distraction p. 12. l. 21. f. with r. into p. 24 l. 26 put a period at expected p. 28 l. 18 f. these r. those p. 36 l. 31 f. prove r. approve p. 37 l. 11 f. churlish r. a churlish l. 25 r. as ● p. 38 l. 8 f. stone r. a stone p. 39 l. 7 r. be too nice p. 45 l. 1 f. spirituall r. speciall p. 46 l 9 f. unhandsome r. unwholsome p. 50 l. 15 f. over r. even p. 51 l. 6 r. a muckworme l. 15 f. Hos r. Hest p. 93 l. 1 f. unto r. in p. 95 l. 13 dele no. l. 15 dele the. p. 108 l. 14 f. concerned r. concerneth l. 32 f. doth r. should p. 141 l. 10 f. duty r. Deity p. 143 l. 27 f. his r. thy p. 152 l. 16 f. command r. examples l. 19 f. thirdly r. secondly p. 164 l. 6 r. the eternall p. 169 l. 19 r. not what is she p. 173 l. 6 r. to the. p. 174 l. 17 f. eye r. Key