description of the manner of the sease p. 575 2 The cause of the Malady p. 581 3 The hope of recovery p. 592 The Prayer p. 605 25 Teares of a Mother on her deathbed blessing her children The Soliloquie Consisting of two parts viz 1 Her preparation to blesse them p. 609 2 The blessing it selfe ending in a Prayer p. 616 26 Teares of a dying Woman wherein is set downe her Religious exercises 1 a Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 a desire of life p. 627 2 Certainty of death p. 637 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death p. 644 3 A Prayer of the Sicke p. 654 4 The Consolation of the godly in the hower of death p. 658 5 The Resignation of the foule into the hands of God p. 664 27 Teares in the distressed time of Civill Warrs The Soliloquie Containing a Patheticall grievous Lamentation for the present distractions both in our Church and Commonwealth by reason of these cruell most bloody warrs p. 669 The First prayer wherein is set downe 1. Gods Iustice in punishing his owne people in former times 2 His Iustice also in the present punishing us for our offences 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgivenesse p. 701 The second Prayer consisting of 1 A dolefull complaint of our grievous Calamities 2 An humble desire of the Remission of our sins 3 A fervent supplicatioÌ„ for righteousnesse peace p. 713 The third Prayer wherein the Lord is humbly implored that our bloody battels may bee turned into a spirituall war fare p. 722 FINIS THE FIRST SVBJECT Teares of godly sorrow or Devout Melancholy wherein a flexible disposition apt to weepe imployeth those Teares in a sorrow for sin The sanctified Ejaculation to precede each severall meditation and prayer Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THE MEDITATION WHy art thou so full of heavinesse Ps 42.6 o my soule and why art thou so disquieted within mee What nothing but teares Nothing â—ut sighs and throbs of â trembling soule Griefe without cause is madnesse and without moderation it is hopelesse I must â—herfore looke into the cause and hope it is Religion that raiseth this tempest But let mee not erre in my judgment Is my sin the cause of my sorrow Or doe not I rather adde to my sinne by the pretence of my ground That teare of a faithfull soule which floweth from the conscience of evill purifieth the conscience and freeth from punishment If the weight of my transgressions depresseth my soule the comforts of the Crucified shall restore me to ioy Oh the first cause of my blubbered eye was that which made our parents strive to hide them selves from the sight of our Creatour Gen 3.8 Since that very offence it hath beene a sin not to weepe and yet too much weeping may be turned into sin Teares are the effect of sin and teares may be the actours of sin Thus even our best actions have their pollutions our griefe for our offences may as well displease as pacifie the offended Deitie But surely I grieve for mine iniquities which have incensed my Creatour I sorrow because I can expresse noe more sorrow for my faults Thus farre my passion then is religion Ps 56.8 Lu 7.38 my God shall put these teares into his bottell Thus Mary Maydalene stood at the feete of my Saviour behind him weeping washing his feete with her teares and wiping them with the haires of her head My sin is the ground of my shame and my shame enforceth mee to come behind that Iesus Ier 9 1 whom Mary thus embalmed O that my head were waters mine eyes a fountaine of teares that I might thus weepe day and night for the offences which I have committed But doe not I slaunder my teares Am I not mis-taken in the cause God forbid Noe cause can be so great as the greatnesse of my sinns and yet even these may multiply when I most lament them O my God accept of the teares which I shed for my sinns sanctifie my sorrowes that they turne not into offences Yet I find in the Scripture other causes of laments 2. King 20.5 Ier 9.17 Thus the All-mighty not onely heard the prayers of Hezekiah but saw his teares too when hee pleaded for life The Iewes were commanded to call for the mourning women to make hast and take up a wayling for them that their eyes might runne downe with teares their eyelids gush out with water because the voyce of wayling was heard out of Zion the destruction of the lewes was hard at hand Thus the Prophets eyes did faile with teares Lam 2.11 his bowells were troubled his liver was powred upon the earth for tâe destruction of Ierusalem This griefe arose from the sense of their sorrow That the most high was prouoked by the sin of the prople What the Iewes deserâ—ed may be my râ—ward and what Ierusalem expected may be my heavy doome for the fame God is offended with mee and my sinns have merited the height of his vengeance Yet the more I sin the more hee spare's expecting some measure of my sorrow for my boundlesse offences O let my teares be his by a gracious acceptance as my sin is made his by his fathers imputation for hee alone who wept in the garden can pleade my attonement and by the power of his passion restore mee to comfort Incredulity in part did trouble the man in the Gospel Mar 9.14 whose sonne was Possessed with a devill both deafe and dumb yet hee cryed out and said with teares Lord I believe help my un-beliefe Deafnesse I find doeth hang in mine eare too even in the house of my God for when mine attention is required to the words which distil from the mouth of the preacher even then the poison of the serpent makes mee imitate the adder refusing to heare the voyce of the charmer Ps 58.4 5. When I should counsaile my brethren when I should publish the trueth when I should confesse my sinns woe is mee the string of my tongue is knitt Iam. 3.5 the dores of my lipps are sealed up and though mine unruly litle member is active in the language of all impiety yet it is stricken dumb with silence when it should publish mine enormities Whence growe's this dumbnesse whence this deafnesse Lord shouldest thou be so deafe to my cries or dumb to my heart I should never hope for the mercies of my Redeemer But some faith thou hast given mee in the merits of his passion doe thou increase it The seede is thine the planting is thine Lord let it flourish that the advantage may be mine Mar 13 32. It is as yet the least of all seedes let it grow into a tree that the birds the birds of Paradise may nest in the
more rather then I shall grieve too much or then my lawfull affaires shall be hindered by my teares I am sure that the tender hand of my compassionate redeemer will wipe mine eyes These ô these are the incense which I must offer unto him Hee first must smell the sweetenesse of a savour arising from them before hee 'll be so propitious as to send downe his benediction Wicked and profane Esau could sieke the blessing with teares Heb. 12 16. vers 17 vers 16 and shall not I goe farther in my weeping then hee who for one morsell of meate had sould his birth-right Yes I must I will for what can I doe this day in hope of a blessing if I doe not first appease my God who is angry for my sinnes The swallowes which usually sport in the aire and strive for a kind of superioritie in the height of their flying are yet contented to humble them selves and draw neere to the earth in their prediction of a storme My thoughts like the birds have sported themselves in the airy fant'sies of sin and impietie but now they shall stoope and humblie they shall flie and foretell to mine eyes the storme that 's arising It was the duetie of Aaron every morning to burne sweete incense upon the altar of intense Ex. 30.7 When hee dressed the lampes hee was to burne incense upon it What was that incense but a gumme And what was that franke that free incense but the teares of a tree What is myrrhe but an Arabian droppe What is frankincense but the teares which twice every yeere doe fall from the Arabian and Sabae'an trees If that gumme be nothing but the teares of the plants what other are our teares then the gumme of our selves Well then I will be the Aaron mine eyes shall be the Lampes which first I will dresse mine heart shall be the Altar dedicated wholly to the service of my God This morning is the time appointed to burne sweete incense on the altar My teares therfore of contrition the gumme which distills from my sorrowfull eyes shall be the incense my heart the altar my zeale the fire and my sighes and groanes shall ascend like the smoake the sweetest perfume delightfull in the nostrills of my glorious maker Lord make thou mine offering acceptable to thy selfe through the meritts of thy Sonne and when thou smellest the savour then send mee thy blessinge Or if my sighes and teares cannot prevaile they shall be accompanied with my petitions and my heart and eyes and hands and tongue shall joyne together in a friendly consent and so shall they tender my supplication to the Lord of bountie This was David's custome Ps 88.13 unto thee say's hee have I cryed ô Lord and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee Lord give mee such a sense of my sinnes now I meditate both on their number and their punishment that I may heartily grieve for them and with my teares likewise let my tongue accord for I must not onely be chastened every morning with the sacrifice of mine eyes Ps 73.14 but I must allso with my prayer prevent my God This therfore I will presently performe with bended knees and yerning bowells and an oppressed heart and praying I will say The Morning Prayer O Sunne of righteousnesse Mal. 4.2 Ps 110.3 glorious God thou who hadst the deaw of thy birth from the wombe from the essence of thy father before the early morning of the world's creation have thou respect unto the prayers 1. King 8.28 and teares of thy servant O hearken unto the cry and to the prayer which thy servant prayeth before thee this morning My sinnes I must needes confesse are many and black and mine ignorance of them is thicker by farre Ex. 10.21 then the Egyptian darknesse I feele their weight in the fiercenesse of thy wrath and the burden of them in the heavinesse of my soule ô whither shall I flye for redresse and comfort From thee I cannot goe and yet to thee I dare not come because thou art so highly and so justly displeased But Lord since thou art every where come downe into my heart and since it is thy property to forgive the penitent be reconciled unto mee who mourne by reason of thy displeasure O be grations unto mee in the tender bowells of thy wonted compassion and ease mee of my sinnes by the sufferances of thy Sonne Ps 5.8 Ps 25.5 Leade â—ee this day in thy righteousnesse leade mee in â—hy trueth and teach mee for thou art the God of â—y salvation Ps 5.8 Ps 65.8 make thy way straite before my â—ace O thou that makest the out-goeings of the morning and evening to rejoyce Neh 1.6 let thine eare be attentive and thine eyes open that thou mayst behould my sorrowes for my grievous offences and hearken to my desires of pardon and remission In thy heavenly Ierusalem Reu 21 25. ô my glorious God there is noe night at all nor are the gates thereof shut at all by day At those gates ô Christ I lye at the gate of thy mercy I knock ô Iesus Heare Lord and hare mercy Ps 30.10 Lord be thou my helper Preserve mee from sinne this ensueing day and let the light of thy grace shine so cheerely in my heart that all my thoughts and words and actions may be wholly bent to glorifie thy name Lam 3 2â— It was thy mercy that I was not consumed this night and for my sinnes delivered over to the tormentour to be punished Thy compassions faile not they are new every morning vers 2â— and greate is thy faithfullnesse O make thou mee to feele thy loving kindnesses this morning more more for in thee doe I trast Ps 143.8 cause thou mee to know the way wherein I should walke for I lift up my soule unto theâ— Suffer mee not this day either to accompanse or to imitate the ungodly Ps 90.6 whose righteousnesse in the morning flourisheth and groweth up but in the evening is â—…t downe and withered But make mee to walke and continue in the path of the just which is as the shining light Prov 4 18. that shineth more and more unto the perfect day Take mee this day and all that thou hast blessed mee with into thy gratious protection Let not the violent oppresse mee nor the deceavers delude mee nor the enemie of man-kind ensnare mee Ps 89 2â— Ps 1.3 Ps 37.5 nor the sonne of wickednesse afflict mee and graunt that whatsoever I doe it may prosper Vnto thee Lord doe I committ my way in thee doe I trust doe thou bring my desires to passe vers 6. Bring forth my righteousnesse as the light and my just dealing as the noone day Make mee fruitfull this day in every good word and worke Col 1.10 Is 58.10 that I may draw out my soule to the hungrie and satisfie the afflicted soule and performe all the christian
pearle shall be made to forgett it's vallew rather then I will prize it above my charitie Even these very jewells shall be sould and consumed rather then I will valew my pride above my bountie They shall be parcelled out in severall summs and the naked shall weare them in their needefull apparell Or if these pearles being sould dispersed to the poore will not discover enough of my Christian compassion from mine eyes shall droppe such a plentifull store that my heart shall be free in it's liberall bountie and manifest thereby my tender affection There is a pearle which my Saviour mentions exceeding Mat 13 45. vers 46 all the treasures of the earth For that pearle will I learne to play the marchant and sell both this and all that I have for the purchase of that I neede not feare the want of ornaments if I part from these to be partaker of that for that pearle is a citty Reu 21 10. and that citty is great and holy even the holy Ierusalem whose light is like a Iasper stone vers 11 cleere as Chrystall vers 18 The bulding of the wall thereof is of Iasper the citty pure gold like unto cleere glasse the foundations of the wall are garnished with all māner of pretious stones vers 19 even with a Iasper a Saphir a Calcedony vers 21 an Emerald a Sardonix a Sardius a Chrisolite a Berill a Topaz a Chrysophrasus a Iacinct vers 21 and an Amethist the twelve gates are twelve pearles every severallgate a pearle and the very streete of the citty is pure gold as it were transparent glasse O who would not leave this drossie perishing gold for that which is so pure and shall last for ever Who would not forsake these mock and triviall jemmes for those most precious and unvalluable jewells Long since did my Saviour tell his disciples that it is easier for a camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle Mat 19 24. then for the rtch to enter into the Kingdome of God What then shall I doe who am borne downe from that Kingdome by the weight of my riches and kept out from the doore by the bundles the greatenesse of the baggs which I would carie When the ruler professed that hee had kept all the commandements of God from his youth Luc 18 21. vers 22 yet lacked hee one thing Hee was to sell all that hee had and give to the poore and then it was promised hee should have treasure in heaven But when hee heard this vers 23 hee was very sorrowfull for hee was very rich For my part I must confesse that I have beene farre more carefull to keepe my treasure then the commandement of God Yet if I had done it even from my youth as the ruler boasted howsoever my plenty would informe mee of my want One thing yet the ruler wanted and that one thing still I stand in neede of I want the diminishing of this earthly trash I must sell all that I have and give to the poore O I feare that this command will bee very sad and sorrowfull to mee too because I am very rich The more I possesse the more sorrow will arise when I shall part from my possessions But thus I must doe if I expect what I desire All must goe for the purchase of that pearle The poore must have baggs to receave my riches and then my store shall be treasured in heaven Yet am I not bound so to give to the poore as thereby to be one of the number of them Charitie unbounded becometh prodigalitie Those that are liberall must disperse with freedome but not with excesse Hee that command's mee to releive the poore command's mee not to give 'till I am poore If once I be reduced to such a penurie I shall be quite deprived of the power to be liberall What therfore is mine I will not impropriate and keepe onely to my selfe but first having furnished my selfe for necessitie I will preferre the wants of my brethren before my convenience or my delight I will not deny my felse the use of the creatures in a lawfull manner nor yet will I proudly satisfie my curiositie leave the indigent out of my thoughts I will labour to make these earthly riches serviceable to the donour even the God of heaven and that I may the better effect my desires I will humble my selfe on my knees at his foote-stoole and besiech him to bow downe his eare to my petitions while I pray unto him and say The Prayer HEavenly father Lord of plenty thou who hast created the world by thy power and continuest thy love in thy providence and protection to thee doe I render thanks for my plenty and to thee doe I offer the service of my store What I have is thine Ps 24.1 for the earth is thine and all that therein is the compasse of the world and they that dwell therein It is thou onely that givest a blessing to the fruit of the land Deut 7 13. to the corne to the wine and to the oyle to the increase of the Kine and of the flocks of the sheepe It is thou onely that commandest thy blessing in the store-houses c 28.8 and in all that thy servants doe set their hands unto Lord make mee one of thy faithfull servants that what thou hast sent mee may be a restimonie of thy love and not of thy hatred ◠Tim. 6.17 Make mee all ways magnifie thee in my time of plenty and not be high-minded nor trust in these uncertaine riches but in thee the living God who givest mee richly all things to enjoy O suffer mee not so to treasure up the deceitfull riches of this sinfull world Luc. 12 25. as thereby forgetting to be rich towards thee but as from thy bounty I receave these temporall blessings so in thy mercy make mee abound in grace 2. Cor 9.8 that allways having all sufficiency in all things I may abound to every good worke vers 11 and be enriched in every thing to all bountifullnesse that through mee it may cause thanksgiving unto thee my Lord and my God In this my prosperity give mee humility and prepare mee for adversitie if it shall please thee at any time to send it unto mee Give mee a sense of the afflictions of many of thy saints and distressed servants enlarge my heart that I may be ready and forward to contribute to their necessities Make mee shew mercy with cheerefullnesse Rom. 12.8 and possesse with thankfullnesse what thou sendest unto mee that I may neither forget thee in thy members nor deny thee to be the giver Let mee never stop mine eares at the cryes of the distressed who begge for reliefe in the name of thy selfe Thou ô Christ 2. Cor 8.9 who wert rich didst for my sake become poore that so through thy poverty thou mightest make mee rich Lord make mee as willing to bee
and naked When the Israëlites were to give an offering to the Lord to make an atonement for their soules Ex 30.15 the rich were not to give more nor the poore to give lesse then halfe a shekel If God should require so much at my hands I should be apt to pleade the want of money or if I had so much I feare that I should appeare too unwilling to spare it But all coveteousnesse is a distrust of providence and either denyeth the power or questioneth the will of the greate disposer Hee provided for the poorest Israëlite on him therfore must I depend for reliefe comfort Something hee require's that I should offer unto him I have nothing of the world's All that I can offer is but my selfe and certainly my selfe shall be best accepted If I can but present him an honest heart it matter 's not how hungry or thirstie or cold or naked the body is which conteineth that heart Iob. 34.19 Hee accepteth not the persons of Princes nor regardeth the rich more then the poore for they all are the worke of his hands The rich may offer to him of their aboundance Mar 12 44. but I of my want will give him my heart which is all that I have Peradventure hee will say of mee vers 43 as hee did once of the widdow This poore woman hath cast more in then all they that have cast into the treasurie Thus if I sieke the Lord I cannot want for so the Prophet telleth mee Ps 34.10 The young Lyons doe lack and suffer hunger but they that sieke the Lord shall not want any good thing Saint Paul assureth mee saying 1. Cor 3.22 Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come vers 23 all are yours and yee are Christ's and Christ is God's And now what can I feare Whereat can I be displeased God is mine and I am his For what hee giveth mee I will be thankfull whatsoever earthly thing hee depriveth mee of I will be contented This poverty will not endure for ever If it continueth while I live yet it must end when I die that blessed time draweth neerer and neerer every moment I am assured of a deliverance I must attend with patience Afflicted Iob doe's certainly assure mee that Iob. 36.15 God delivereth the poore in his affliction and openeth their eares in oppression The same God promised to Tzion saying I will abundantly blesse her provision Ps 132.15 I will satisfie her poore with bread The Psalmist refresheth mee with unspeakeable comfort when hee telleth mee that Ps 9.18 Ps 72.12 The needy shall not allways be forgotten the expectation of the poore shall not perish for ever The Lord shall deliver the needy when hee cryeth the poore allso and him that hath noe helper Hee will defend the poore Ps 82.3 and fatherlesse hee will doe justice to the afflicted and needy Ps 140.12 Hee will maintaine the cause of the afflicted and the right of the poore Thus am I promised and thus shall it be performed It is noe new thing with God to take pitty upon the distressed The Prophet Isaiah saith unto him Thou hast beene a strength to the poore Is 25.4 a strength to the needy in his distresse a refuge from the storme a shadow from the heate Ps 34.6 This poore man cryed saith David and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles Againe Hee raiseth up the poore out of the dust Ps 113.7 Ps 10.14 Heb. 13 5. and lifteth the needy out of the dung-hill Therfore I resolve that I will commit my selfe unto him for hee is the helper of the friendlesse Hee hath promised that hee will never leave nor forsake them that trust in him Parents are commonly indulgent to their children yet because their naturall affection is possible to be quenched therfore say's the Psalmist When my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up I will therfore begge seing now I am poore I will begge of God because hee is rich I will begge of God to keepe mee to love mee to blesse mee that so I may never forsake my dependance on him nor hee his love and compassion to mee Earnestly will I besiech him and confidently will I resolve Rom 8 38. that Neither death nor life nor Angells nor principalities nor powers nor things present vers 39. nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall ever be able to separate mee from the love of God which is in Iesus Christ our Lord. The Prayer FAther of pitties Lord of comfort thou that hearest the cryes of the afflicted Iob. 34.28 Ps 32.4 looke downe in mercy on a distressed sinner Thy hand ô God is heavy upon mee for thou hast taken from mee what I called mine by reason that I did not acknowledg it thine ô Lord thou knowest my bleeding heart my sorrowfull eyes and my mournfull teares Thou seest how poore I am and what miseries I suffer Ps 44.13 I am a scorne to my neighbours and a derision to them that are round about mee My life is become a burden unto mee because thou hast deprived mee of the comforts thereof My lovers Ps 38.11 and mine acquaintance stand looking upon my miserie and my kinsmen stand a farre off Lord if it be thy pleasure thus to humble mee with poverty let it be thy goodnesse to give mee patience to endure it The pride of my heart and my forgetfullnesse of thee in the time of plenty did cry aloud for thy severest punishments Now ô now I feele thy just displeasure and I groane under the burden and weight thereof Yet thou Lord canst ease mee thou canst restore mee Heare Lord and have mercy Lord Ps 30.10 be thou my helper Suffer mee noe more to rely upon the arme of flesh 1. Tim 6.17 or to put my trust in un-certaine riches but make mee for ever depend upon thy bounty Forgive mee ô father the sinnes which I committed when I lived in prosperitie Ps 30.7 for I am sensible that they are a cause why at this time thou hidest thy face from mee and causest mee to be troubled O give mee a sight and sense of the greatnesse of them and true contrition and sorrow for them that so though the world forsake mee yet I may find favour and mercy in thy sight Without thy assistance this sore burden is too heavy for mee to beare Ps 38.4 Lord either remove it from mee or make it easier for mee Lend mee thy gratious and helping hand Ps 23.4 that as I am scourged with thy rod so I may leane upon thy staffe Let mee never despaire of thy comfortable reliefe but in all my miseries be thou my refuge Be pleased to endue mee with patience from above that I may give noe
ghost c 25.8 and dyed in a good old age Iud 8.32 1. Chr 29.28 Gen 23 1. vers 2. an old man full of yeeres and was gathered to his people Gideon the sonne of Ioash dyed in a good old age David dyed in a good old age full of dayes riches and honour Sarah was an hundred twentie and seaven yeeres old when shee dyed in Kiriath arba These and thousands of others who lived greate and good ages lay downe in the dust and their spirits were caried by Angells into the kingdome of happinesse the citty of my God why then should not I endeavour to follow them to blisse Dye I must but when or where or how I can not determine Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous I shall dye their death Num 23.10 and receave their reward As neere as I am to my longest home I am not assured what death I shall dye neither by what disease nor with what torments or ease Gen 42.38 Iacob was afraid that his gray haires should be brought downe with sorrow to the grave When David gave Solomon a charge concerning Ioab hee commanded him 1. King 2.6 saying Let not his hoary head goe downe to the grave in peace Concerning Shimei hee likewise charged him vers 9. saying His hoary head bring thou downe to the grave with blood The rebellious Israëlites were threatned for their disobedience Deut 28.49 vers 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them which should not regard the person of the oldâ— nor shew favour to the young I have noe more priviledg nor prerogative then they unlesse I can prove that I am better then they Nay more the manner or the kind of death though never so tormenting is farre from satisfying for the smallest offence My death may be troublsome and sull of miserie and yet my doome may be full of horrour O what shall I doe What shall I doe to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled The more yeeres I have lived the more sinnes I have committed The words of the ould Patriarch doe more properly belong unto mes then they did unto him Few Gen 47.9 and evill have the dayes of the yeeres of my life beene O what a world of crimes is my soule oppressed with What shall I doe to pacifie my God against whom my sinnes and offences have beene committed Nothing but blood can satisfie for my skarlet crimes and noe blood can appease him but the blood of his Sonne and noe share can I have in that most precious blood unlesse I seriously and faithfully repent mee of my sinnes Lord Is 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch Behold I am a drie tree yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the dryest tree as the obdurate rockes O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of teares and a heart full of groanes If all that litle moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one teare of timely and acceptable repentance even that teare ô God would I readily offer thee Lord I grieve in my very soule for the pollutions of my soule and am seriously and heartily offended at my selfe for offending thee Accept ô God the throbs of my fainting heart and be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne O Lord I sigh ô Lord I grieve My heart panteth my bowells yerne and my very soule languisheth and pineth to receave the assurance of thy favour I will lye at the poole of Bethesda as hee did who was diseased neere fortie yeeres Io. 5.5 I will lye at the gate of thy mercy ô Iesus and there will I weepe and grieve and lament and call and cry for mercy at thy hands ô blessed Redeemer and my petitions I will tender in all humilitie and devotion praying and saying The Prayer MErcifull Lord God Is 46.3 who didst promise to carrie the house of Iacob from the belly and the wombe vers 4. even to old age and hoary haires despise not the humble suite of thine aged and feeble servant My many yeeres I must confesse I have spent in vanitie and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service as I ought to have done Every day have I offended thee and every hower have I beene disobedient to thy lawes My child-hood hath beene full of folly my youth of stubbornesse my riper yeeres have beene apt to wantonnesse and mine old and aged dayes to coveteousnesse and impenitencie Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed mee in my sinnes and have given mee a portion in the land of darknesse But now ô father since thou hast spared mee so long doe not condemne mee at the last Let the heavie heart and the trembling tongue and the shaking hands and the most sorrowfull soule of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes With thy mercy Iob. 4.4 Ps 35.3 Ps 39.4 ô Lord strengthen my weake hands support my feeble knees comfort my drooping heart and say unto my soule I am thy salvation Lord make mee to know mine end and the measure of my dayes that I may know how fraile I am vers 5. Ps 93.2 Ps 102.27 Ps 90.9 Mine age is nothing before thee for thou art from everlasting and thy yeeres shall not faile O be thou reconciled unto mee through the passion of my Redeemer for when thou art angry all our dayes are gone wee bring our yeeres to an end as a tale that is told Ps 71.9 O cast mee not off in this time of old age forsake mee not now my strength faileth mee Though the heavens Is 51.6 and the â—earth shall waxe old as doeth a garment and they that dwell therein shall dye yet thy salvation shall be for ever and thy righteousnesse shall not be abolished Ps 43.3 Ps 71.18 Ps 23.4 Ps 62.7 Prov. 23.22 O send out thy light and thy trueth to leade mee now I am old and gray headed ô my staffe and thou who art the onely rock of strength forsake mee not Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them and not to despise their mothers when they are old O my heavenly father doe thou make mee thy child by grace and adoption that I may hearken unto thee and never despise or forsake thy commandements Make mee allways remember thy workes ô Lord Ps 77.11 and call to mind thy wonders of old time Give mee grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse Tit 2.3 not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient and decrepid but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good Peaceably ô my father Iob. 5.26 let mee come to my grave in a full age like as a shock of corne cometh in in his season By the course of nature I am ready to goe the way of all the earth
thee untill hee have consumed thee from offe the land whither thou goest to possesse it Yea yet once againe The Lord said unto Moses Num 14.11 How long will this people provoke mee And how long will it be ere they beleive mee for all the signes that I have shewed among them vers 12 I will smite them with the pestilence and disinherit them and will make of thee a mightier nation then they O the fathomlesse treasure of the bountie of my God! Rom 2 4. O the riches of his goodnesse and patience and long suffering leading us to repentance What were the Israëlites that hee should not plague them Why not presently The wages is due so soone as the service is done and the punishment is as due so soone as the offence is committed and yet allthough God be forward in the former hee is slow to the latter allthough hee delight in the former yet is hee hardly drawne to the latter Mee think's when I consider the Israëlites I wonder at their rebellions and yet mee think's when I consider our selves I wonder much more Is 5.1 What could have beene done more to this vine-yard of God that hee hath not done unto us vers 2. Hee hath senced us and gathered out the stones from us and planted us with the choycest vine and built a tower in the midst of us and allso made a wine-presse in this his vineyard and yet for all this when hee looked that wee should bring forth grapes behould wild grapes Oh how my heart panteth within mee and my whole selfe is in a trembling feare when I consider his mercies and our rebellions Dan 5.5 O mee think's I see a hand-writing against us allmost upon every doore every inhabitant written as it were with the fingers of a man's hand as once Beâ—shazzar saw upon the plaister of the wall which maketh my countenance change vers 6. and my thoughts be troubled so that the joynts of my loynes be loosed and my knees smite one against another and I cry for mercy for I have offended and I knock for compassion for I have transgressed God did threaten Israel with a pestilence when they should be gathered together in their citties with a Pestilence that should consume them from off the land with a Pestilence that should dis-inherit them and all this to avenge the quarrell of his covenant because they still provoked him because they would not believe him for all the signes that hee had shewed among them But where in had Israel offended In what manner In what measure which this land hath not exceeded And yet ô how unwillingly doth the All-mighty punish us O how slowly O how gently Matt 11.12 The kingdome of heaven suffereth violence saith my Iesus Violence indeede by our daring sinnes for wee draw the revenger's sword for him wee bend his bowe for him Ps 7.12 and make it ready wee allso prepare for him the instruments of death vers 13 Ps 64.3 because wee whett our tongues like swords and bend our bowes to shoote our arrowes even bitter words vers 4. that wee may shoote in secret at the perfect suddenly doe wee shoote at him feare not And what now can wee expect but judgments seeing that wee will not offer the just and rightfull violence to the Kingdome of heaven even the violence of our prayers the violence of our teares the violence of sobbs and sighs and groanes in our spirituall combats and conflicts What can wee expect but vengeance And what doe wee meete with but destruction Hee hath threatned and threatned againe and againe and yet wee have resisted and resisted againe and againe too Is 5.7 When hee looked for righteousnesse behould oppression justly therfore now wee looke for mercy behould a cry A cry in the beds of the languishing a cry in the chambers of the infected and pined prisoners a cry of the healthfull for feare of infection a cry of parents for their tender children a cry of children for their dying parents Brother cryeth for brother sister for sister all cry for helpe Ps 102 1. all cry for mercy O Lord heare our prayers and let our cryes come unto thee The Sixth part of the Soliloquie treating of the duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence I Weepe and weepe and sigh and sigh and pray and pray but why doe I thus weepe and sigh and pray If for my selfe it is a debt which is challenged even by nature it selfe so that I may have any hope by these meanes either to prevent or to cure the sicknesse If for others it is charitie it is a religious duety Thus wee are commanded by the Apostle Beare yee one anothers burdens Gal. 6.2 and so fullfill the law of Christ And againe by the same Apostle I am commanded to weepe with them that weepe Rom. 12.15 But must my teares be generall Must my prayers be universall For all For the wicked as well as the godly There was a time when the Prophet Ieremiah might not pray for Iudah The Lord said unto him Pray not for this people for their good Ier. 14.11 vers 12 When they fast I will not heare their cry and when they offer burnt-offerings and oblations I will not accept them but I will consume them by the sword and by the famine and by the Pestilence There was a time too when the Lord said concerning the sonnes c. 16.3 and concerning the daughters that were borne among the Iewes concerning their mothers that bare them and concerning their fathers that begat them vers 4. They shall dye of grievous deaths they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and they shall be consumed by the sword and by the famine and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowle of heaven and for the beasts of the earth vers 5. For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse and mercies vers 6. Both the great and the small shall dye in this land they shall not be buried neither shall men lament for them nor cutt themselves nor make themselves bald for them And there was a time allso when the eyes of Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah c 22.17 and his heart were not but for coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression and for violence to doe it vers 18 Therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning him They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or Ah sister they shall not lament for him saying Ah Lord or Ah his glory vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast out beyond the
branches Thou hast planted it 1. Cor 3.6 my teares shall water it doe thou give the increase to it Something I apprehend but it is but in a mist Some thing I believe but it is but dully it is but imperfectly it is but weakely Lord I believe help my unbeliefe Mar 9.24 O that my teares might be so sanctified that my griefe might be a delight I must I will search enquire find out my secret crimes those snakes that lye hid under the greene leaves of my best my glorious actions I know that I am all sin all corruption and yet though I say that I know it though I know that I know it yet enough I doe not I cannot know it The more I prye into it the neerer is mine cye drawne to a narrownesse the more I pore upon it the sooner is mine eye tired into a dulnesse Each part each member is either an abettour or an actour of sin What then shall I doe Teares I can shed but it is rather through the disposition of nature then the operation of grace I will weepe therfore because I am so apt to grieve when my corruption is not truely the ground of my griefe I will punish mine eyes with teares for shedding so many teares not grounded on a sorrow for my wickednesse Now the spunges are full my sinns shall squeeze them Now my windowes shall be brightened with the brine with the lye of my teares Come I must mourne for I have found the cause the ground of all religious griefe which I am ashamed to owne Ps 6.6 Now with David I will crie until I am weary of my groaning every vight will I wash my bed and water my couch with my teares 1. Sam 30.4 With David againe and the prople that were with him pondering upon their losse at the spoiling of Ziklag I will lift up my voyce and weepe untull I have noe more power to weepe Iob 30.31 Now with the man of miseries the patient Iob my harpe shall be turned into mourning and my Organe into the voyce of them that weepe C 16.16 My face shall be fowle with weeping and on mine eye lids shall sit the shadow of death Now with David againe 2. Sam. 12.22 While the child is yet alive the child of corruption the monstrous spurious abortive bratt of sin is alive with in mee I will fast weepe but in a contrarie hope to that indulgent father I will cry who can tell whether God will be gracious to mee vers 22 that the child may not live or if it live it may but linger but languish but despaire of strength or health or life Thus I pine thus I grieve yet mee think's I am ashamed that I doe so I am troubled that I am thus troubled Well if mine eye be offended with the motes with the dusts of sin that fly into it I will wash it with it 's owne water If my face blush at the punishment of the eyes because it is childish thus to cry I will confesse it I will acknowledg it thus every child every child of my God doe's cry must cry And if all this force not shame into my bashfull cheeke for blushing at my teares then with that good king Hezekiah I will turne my face to the wall but I will still weepe and weeping that my teares be not spilt be not lost be not shed in vaine as that King 2. King 20.3 so my selfe though the meanest though the worst of subjects of slaves will pray and praying I will say The Prayer GReat God who on the second day of thine owne labour didst create a firmament in the midst of the waters Gen 1.6 so now in thy mercy put a distinction in the waters that flow from my troubled eyes O let heaven divide betweene them that those which dwell in the cloudes for the sinns I have committed may be distinguished from those that arise from sin By thy servant Ezekiel thou complainest of Ierusalem that she was not salted at all Lord Eze 16 4. I am salted in the brine of my teares ô let me be preserved in the love of thee my Creatour The causes of my griefe are the offences I have committed that a God so great should be incensed by a worme that a God so good should be dishonoured by a miscreant Thou art my God though offended thou shalt even be my God though thou art now displeased I have hope of pardon while I continue thine although I cannot choose but sin against thee who art so lovingly mine The heathens themselves did sacrifice to their Gods They had many I have but one To thee that one that holy one doe I offer what thou doest require a heart as thou doeâ—… require it broken but not so sanctified not so cleansed as it ought to be Lev 2.13 Yet it is offered with salt as thou requirest even with the salt of my teares Dan. 9.19 O Lord heare ô Lord have mercy ô Lord in mercy receave the cries the groanes the teares that flow from this burnt this broken offering These teares are the blood of a penitent soule for the blood of thy Son receave in mercy Num. 20.11 The rock of my heart hath beene smitten with thyrod from whence doe issue these springs of waters Lord doe thou even water my teares with the deaw of thy grace and mollifie my heart by the strength of thy power that both heart and eyes Io 17.6 and teares may be thine Thine they were and thou gavest them mee Thine they are I give them thee O let this rock this heart be an altar these eyes the priests and these teares the sacrifices acceptable unto thee my Lord and my God My heart is the censour and my sighs and groanes the incense Io 20.28 doe thou buth adde a sweetenesse thereto and so shall it allay the stricktnesse of thy fury My sinns ô God have dwelt in mine eyes but now I have made them drunke with my teares Thus let mee ever weepe thus let mee ever grieve It is a joy to be thus sorrow full it is a comfort to be thus distressed Lord in every part in every crumb of this broken heart I find thy mercifull thine in dulgent selfe In every sigh 1. King 9.12 in every groane I perceave that thou my Lord art in it a soft wind In every teare that trickleth from mine eyes thou hast a luster thou hast an habitation O let mee ever thus live in thy favour Let all my griefe be for offending thee Ps 42.3 Ps 6.6 Ps 80.5 Ps 104.9 and all my sorrow be for thy displeasure So shall my teares with David be my meate my drinke my bread my bath my onely joy and delight because thou takest a delight there in But ô thou who hast prescribed bounds to the seas which they cannot passe neither turne againe to cover the earth so limit these brackish seas by
lips or with a double heart And though thus single was my heart 1 King 4.29 yet was it noe small one it was large God had given unto mee as unto Solomon both wisedome Ps 119.32 Ps 17.3 and understanding and largnesse of heart and like David I did runne the way of his commandements when hee had thus enlarged it This large heart was a proved one too for God had proved it and Visited mee and tryed mee when I was purposed that my mouth should not transgresse Ps 7.9 1. Chr 29.17 Ps 26.2 It was tryed tryed by my God by my righteous God which tryeth the hearts and reines even by him who tryeth the heart and hath pleasure in uprightnesse the very selfe same God did examine mee and prove mee hee tryed my reines my heart And this loving heart this broken yet whole heart this sound and single heart Ps 101.2 1. King 8.61 Act 16.14 this large and tryed heart was found perfect I did walke with in my house with a perfect heart it was perfect with the Lord my God to walke in his statutes to keepe his commandements It was an open heart it was opened lke Lydia's that I could attend to the things that were spoken by our Pauls It opened so wide or at least with sorrow it was so filled that at length it broke Ier 23.9 Mine heart within mee like unto Ieremiah's was broken all my bones did shake I was like a drunken man and like a man whom wine hath overcome O full well too it thē was with mee even when my heart was broken for it had beene stone nothing but stone before when neither promises nor mercies neither menaces nor judgments could worke upon it It had beene a stone a three-cornerd stone untill it pleased him to breake it who is the head-stone in the corner the head-stone Mat 21 42. because the strongest in the whole building sustaining the fabrick The head-stone in the corner knitting cimenting and uniting together both the Iewes and the Gentiles 1. Pet 2 8. The head-stone in the corner who is a stone of stumbling unto many and a rock of offence at which the Iewes tooke such offence that they hurt them selves against this stone in the corner Yet hee that was reiected by the Iewes and scornfully under-vallewed was unto mee a most skillfull excellent lapidarie hee knew the stone of my heart and at mine intreatie hee broke it hee broke it in pieces Yea hee wrought so powerfully in mee that through the helpe of him I had learned to rent it to rent my heart Ioel 2.13 and not my garments and turne to the Lord my God It was made an acceptable sacrifice to my God for I had a broken spirit a broken Ps 51.17 a contrite heart which hee will noe despise Hee hee is that great Iehouah who is high Ies 57.15 and excellent who inhabiteth eternitie whose name is holy who dwelleth in the high and holy place yet with him all so that is of a contrite humble spirit to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite ones Hee it is who hath promised that hee will not breake a bruised reede Is 42.3 nor quench the smoaking flaxe but on the contrarie Ps 147 3. will heale the broken in heart and bind up their wounds By him who is thus high and excellent by him who is thus full of compassion as not to bruise the reede nor quench the flaxe by him who is thus infinite in mercy that hee healeth those that are broken in heart even by the same God in testimonie of his love was my stony heart broken O it had beene an uncircumcised heart Deut. 30.6 but afterwards the Lord my God did circumcise it to love himselfe with all my heart and with all my soule that I might live So open so broken so rent so contrite so circumcised it was Act 7.51 that I resisted not the Holy Ghost Lord what happie dayes did I then enioy when my heart was thus qualified with goodnesse When it was thus acceptable to my God! But now alasse 't is quite otherwise That heart that good heart of mine is gone is lost is polluted Peradventure some anger had beene seated in my gall but I laboured that it should not increase into a sin Peradventure some joy was placed in my splene but that joy howsoëver was chiefly in the Lord and in my heart was carefully preserved the feare of his name That heart was then the cabinet the store house the treasurie of wisedome wherein were two with-drawing chambers divided but by a partition in which were placed the fountaines of lively blood of life it selfe even the life of grace given by the liberall hand of the God of my life But now oh my poore heart it hath forsaken this breast this breast of a distressed forlorne woman and in the roome thereof is crept into my bosome a heart so hard that when I sinite my breast in my deepest sorrow my very hand re-bound's by reason of the hardnesse of this rockie heart Often have I heard people complaine of the stone in the kidnies or the bladder but I am enforced to a new complaint even of the stone in the heart O that my God would cutt it and take this stone out of it or else give mee such a potion of sorrow and contrition that it might prove the most soveraigne saxafrage to break this stone A stone here is wich I can feele both by the weight and the hardnesse there of but what kind of stone I cannot determine Surely it can be noe pomoise none of that stone which in some sort may be sayd to be even heavier then it selfe because though when it is whole it is full of pores full of holes very hollow even as hollow as my heart yet when it is broken in pieces when it is stamped and beaten to powder it seemes to be more ponderous then when it was whole If such a one be in my heart ô that my God would breake this heart ô that hee would grind it or beate it to powder then peradventure it would be heavy for my sinns and ponder mine iniquities Or it may be that such a stone is in it as those were which the Lord did promise that the Israelites should find in the land of Canaan Deut. 8 9. even stones that were iron for surely my heart is as hard as iron And yet though it be so the patient Iob assureth mee that euen waters weare the stones Iob 14.19 O that my God would cause the trickling of my teares to weare away the stone of my heart Or if it be iron ô that hee would cause it to swimme in the Iordane of my sorrowes as once Elisha caused the iron and steele to doe 2. King 6.6 which were tempered together in the head of the are When I feele for my good heart oh
provoked him to wrath But what though in Eden hee was not heard but â—n the coole of the day Gen 18.1 I am sure that hee appeared to Abraham in the heate of the day aâ—â—hee sate in the tent doore in the plaines of Mamâ—re And so hee doeth to mee now too inwardly by his Spirit if I find his grace working in my soule a desire of his glorie I will therfore besiech him now while hee is with mee Ps 42.8 Ps 22.2 to command his loving kindnesse in this day time to visit mee that so I may not justly complaine with David O my God I cry in the day time and thou hearest not but rather that I may heare a Phinehas saying unto mee as once hee did to the children of Reuben Gad and Manasseh This day wee perceave Ios 22.31 that the Lord is among us Alasse poore Iacob how did hee endure the sweate and the burning of this time of the day Gen 31.40 In the day the drought consumed him and the frost in the night and his sleepe departed from him Assuredly in those fourteene yeeres which hee spent in the service of Laban for his two wives and in those sixe yeeres which hee served for the flocks and the cattell hee could not choose but loose a whole river of sweate that dropped from his face Lord how should every droppe of sweate that fall's from my browes put mee in mind of the fall of Adam which produced this punishment Gen 3.19 Yea how should my teares too out-vye my sweate when I consider the number of my fowle transgressions They oh they have so increased within mee that they enforce the sweate to fly to my face and in this heate of the day to tell mee of a punishment in the flames of the damned But there was once a day of deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptian bondage Ex 13.3 and Moses commanded the people saying Remember this day And what day of my life hath not beene to mee a day of deliverance So many diseases and accidents assayle the body so many discontents the mind so many casualties and chances the estate yea and which is worst of all so many sinnes the soule that if I should attempt but once to number them I could not easily determine where to beginne Lord make mee this day remember thy deliverances in a gratefull manner and magnifie thee for thy mercies There will bee a day too a day of death but when it shall come God onely knoweth This for ought I know may prove the day Ould Ifaak tould his sonne Esau saying Gen 27.2 Behould now I am ould I know not the day of my death Neither indeede doe I know mine What know I to the contrarie but that anone at the table I may entertaine my death in a dish or a cup Lord make mee allways provided for thee and then at all times thou art well-come to mee But how shall I be sure to have my petition graunted and that God will afford mee such mercy as to save mee I reade of a day that was threatned to the Iewes even when the Chaldaeans should become their conquerours This the Lord fore-tould unto them when hee sayd Ioel 2.1 Blow yee the trumpet in Sion and sound an all-arme in my holy mountaine Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble for the day of the Lord cometh for it is nigh at hand A day of darknesse vers 2. and of gloominesse a day of clowdes and of thick darknesse as the morning spread upon the mountaines Their death was to approach by the sword of their enemies and their miseries to increase by the furie of their tormentours My death may be neerer hastening unto mee then was the destruction of the Iewes at the time of the prophesie and in what manner it shall come I cannot assure my selfe God is not confined to time or meanes otherwise then hee hath decreed himselfe This very day may happen to be mine and another day may be appointed for another Yea and my day too may prove a day of horrour for wicked I am and I reade what is spoken by the mouth of Iob Iob 21.30 The wicked is reserved to the day of destruction they shall be brought forth to the day of wrath I poore I am one of the wicked and have deserved the greatest severest judgments from the hand of the revenger O if this day should prove so terrible insteede of pampering my body with delightfull foode I might cry out with the Prophet Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ior 20.14 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed But I have a better confidence in the mercies of my Redeemer Yet I cannot hope for mercy from him if I doe not expresse some mercy to my selfe The chiefest act of mercy to my selfe consisteth in a serious afflicting and tormenting of my selfe for my sinnes which would ruine mee With my teares I must therfore wash away my sinnes I must purge them with my teares I must cure the sinnes of mine eyes with the teares of mine eyes And yet since my teares are not free from pollution even those must be purified and made effectuall by the blood of the Lamb. The stomack is commonly prepared for meate by the blood of the grape Therfore before I will goe to my foode I will prepare my selfe with a glasse of wine but that wine shall be high and excellent it shall be the wine of Angells It shall have the savour of life in it it shall have the race of mercy in it the sweetenesse of reconciliation the heate of grace This wine shall be my teares a leane sower eager wine of it selfe but it shall be sugered by the hand of my Redeemer it shall be deepe drawne and well dashed with the blood of the innocent This is such as the Angells delight in This wine shall prove an excellent restorative it shall be even like blood yea it shall be blood it selfe even the blood of my drooping my wounded and my deiected soule This will exceede all the Frontiniak or the Greeke or the Palerma wines for the grapes thereof doe not grow upon the smooth and twisting branches of common vines but they grow like the rose upon a thornie bough and yeeld whole clusters of joy and content This wine hath such an in-bred vertue in it that it giveth courage to the drinker and that good effect I seriously hope it shall worke in mee For I must fight though I am but a woman I must fight and warre and combate with mine enemies with my corruptions Ios 10.13 I trust that hee who made the Sun stand still in the middest of heaven that it hasted not to goe downe about a whole day when the five Kings fought against Gibeon and all this onely at the prayer of Ioshua even hee will assist mee in this holy warre that I may destroy the Kings the greatest the
eate on the left hand and they shall not be satisfied they shall eate every man the flesh of his owne armes Touching Ierusalem hee said by his Prophet Ezekiel Eze 4.10 Thy meate which thou shalt eate shall be by weight twentie shekels a day from time to time shalt thou eate it vers 11 Thou shalt drinke allso water by measure the sixth part of an Hin from time to time shalt thou drinke vers 12 And thou shalt eate it as barley cakes and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man vers 13 in their sight And the Lord said unto him Even thus shall the children of Israel eate their defiled bread among the Gentiles whither I will drive them Among other curses which Israël should endure for rebellion and disobedience the fore-runner of famine was not the least Deut 28.39 Thou shalt plant vine yards and dresse them but shalt neither drinke of the wine nor gather of the grapes for the wormes shall eate them Among other punishments sent upon idolaters the Prophet terrifieth them with this above all When they shall be hungrie Is 8.21 they shall frett themselves and curse their King and their God and looke up-wards Here was allmost all the miserie that man could suffer the wickednesse that hee could act in this present world Hunger was sent as a punishment for idolatrie and rebellion blasphemie and impenitency were the effects of the punishment Hunger produceth rebellion they curse their King rebellion blasphemie they curse their God and blasphemie both impudence and impenitencie they looke up-wards towards heaven as if they were not ashamed The curse which should happen to the enemies of Sion was accounted greate because they should be resembled to people that are hungrie c 29.8 As when a hungrie man dreameth and behould hee eateth but hee awaketh and his soule is empty or as when a thirstie man dreameth and behold hee drinketh but hee awaketh and behould hee is faint and his soule hath appetite So shall the multitude of the nations bee that fight against mount Sion But what is the cause why the anger of the most high is commonly discovered in the curse of famine What moveth the Lord to punish his creatures with this pining destruction Whence ariseth his wrath that his vengeance is so terrible Alasse alasse I neede not wonder that his furie is so fierce if I doe but remember how justly hee punisheth Hee smiteth not before wee offend hee punisheth not before wee transgresse When our sinnes are so impudent as to provoke his displeasure how can hee choose but awake Ps 78.65 as one out of sleepe like a mighty man that shouteth by reason of wine For iniquitie onely doeth hee visitt hee visiteth our offences with the rodde Ps 89.32 and our sinne with scourges For this did hee give Israël cleanesse of teeth Amos. 4.6 in all their citties and want of bread in all their places yet they returned not unto the Lord. 2. Sam 21.1 For Saul and for his bloodie issue because hee slew the Gibeonites therfore there was a famine in the dayes of David three yeeres yeere after yeere and it ceased by the execution of seaven of Saul's sonnes Is 5.13 Therfore saith God my people are gone into captivitie because they have noe knowledg and their honourable men are famished and their multitude dryed up with thirst This is the punishment for sinne and yet upon repentance the Lord is as willing to remove it from us as when wee offended hee was just in sending it His promises were gratious to the Gentiles which should be fullfilled by Christ as his Prophet relateth them Is 49.10 They shall not hunger nor thirst neither shall the heate nor Sun smite them for hee that hath mercy on them shall leade them even by the springs of water hee shall guide them Yet let mee not too much forget my selfe Though this famine be one of the weapons with which the Lord doeth commonly fight and wound his enemies I must not therfore conclude that they all are forsaken and hated who endure this affliction I must not conclude that Because with this hee punisheth his enemies therfore with this hee correcteth not his saints This were but to frame an argument to urge mee to despaire and to judge my selfe with greater severitie then the Lord himselfe I hope will judge mee Every scourge which hee taketh in his hand may be for chastisement to the godly as well as a judgment to the wicked Though this must bring mee to a sight of my sinnes yet it may not enforce mee to a distrust of his mercies Though sometimes the godly dye under an affliction yet they know that they shall live by the merits of Christ Wee have noe more freedome from punishments here then the worst of reprobates Yea our portion is greater and bitterer here then theirs 1. Cor. 11.32 but wee are chastened of the Lord that wee might not be condemned with the world There is a greater deale of difference betweene corrections judgments The beloved child may be wounded as deepe yea deeper then an enemie but the deeper his Wound the surer is his cure To the godly they are afflictions to the reprobate torments to the godly chastisements upon the reprobate revenge At the famine in Samaria 1. King 18.5 good Obadiah went into the land unto all fountaines of water and unto all brookes to sieke for grasse that hee might save the horses and mules alive When the Prophet Ieremiah was cast into the dungeon Ier 38.9 hee was like to dy for hunger in the place for there was noe bread in the citty 1. Cor. 4.11 The holy Apostles did both hunger and thirst and were naked and buffeted and had noe certaine dwelling place They were in wearinesse 2. Cor. 11.27 and painefullnesse in watchings often in hunger and thirst in fastings often in cold Act 10 9. and nakednesse When Saint Peter went up upon the house to pray the vision appeared to him while hee was hungry vers 10 Saint Paul professed that hee had learned both how to be abased Phil. 4.12 and how to abound Every where in all things hee was instructed both to be full and to be hungrie both to abound and to suffer neede Gen. 12 10. When a famine was in the land where Abraham dwelt hee was enforced to goe downe into Egypt to sojourne there for the famine was grievous in the land Many saints and servants of God have drunke very deepe of this cup of afliction Why should I then be too much dejected and complaine so of want as if God had forgotten mee How know I to the contrarie but it may be his pleasure even by this affliction to bring mee to humilitie and so unto glory It is my part to thanke him for his visitation and not to repine at his correction Plenty is commonly the ground
send out sight of sorrow 1. King 19.11 and the Lord shall be in the wind And with that wind shall be an earth-quake my enlivened earth shall quake with feare of the judgments of my God so the Lord shall be likewise in the earth-quake And with that earth-quake shall be fire vers 12 even the fire of love and zeale together so the Lord shall be in that fire And with that fire shall be a still small voyce and unto the Lord shall that voyce be directed for to him will I looke and pray and say The Prayer All-mighty Lord ever-lasting father who hast beene pleased to vouch safe mee the blessings of this life and to give mee my desires both in a husband and children be pleased to give mee a thankfull heart for these thy mercies It is thy goodnesse and not my merit that I have receaved from thee these blessings of thy bountie Iustly ô most justly mightest thou at once deprive mee of these comforts because I have neglected my obedience to the one and my care of the other Humbly ô my God and with a bleeding heart I confesse my faylings and am sorrie for mine offences Lord be gracious to mee thy servant It is thy hand alone which hath preserved mee from the foule offences which many commit for without thy protection by nature I am noe better then that strange woman Pro 2.17 who forsaketh the guide of her youth and forgetteth the covenant of her God By nature I am carnally worse by farre then were Aholah and Aholibah spiritually who committed whoredomes in their youth Eze 23 3. Lord make mee ever acknowledg this thy protection and testifie my thankfullnesse in my industrious care to performe my dutyes Be thou stil the protectour and the gracious defender both of mee and mine Blesse him whom thou hast sett over mee and graunt that hee may dwell with mee according to knowledg 1. Pet. 3.7 that so wee being heires together of the grace of life our prayers may not be hindered As thou hast made mee a fruitfull vine by the walls of his house so make mee endeavour to be fruitfull in good workes Ps 128.3 Col 1.10 Ps 128 3. Ps 52.8 Prov. 19.14 c 5.18 Ps 141.3 Prov. 11.16 c 12.4 c 14.1 c 31.10 vers 30 and increase to be fruitfull in good Workes and increase in the knowledg of thee my God Let those Olive branches about my table be every one of them like a greene Olive in the house of thee ô my God and trust in thy mercy for ever and ever Make mee to my husband a prudent wife as sent from thee that hee may rejoyce with mee the wife of his youth To this purpose set â watch ô Lord before my mouth and keepe the doore of my lippes Make mee a gracious woman retaining honour that I may be a crowne to my husband a wise woman labouring to build up my house and familie and a vertuous woman fearing thee Heare mee ô my God and graunt mee my petitions for the worthinesse of him who is an indulgent husband to his Spouse the Church even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 10 THE TENTH SUBJECT Teares of an Aged woman The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe dayes of our age are three-score yeeres and ten Ps 90.10 saith David and if by reason of strength they be foure-score yeeres yet is their strength labour and sorrow for it is soone cut off and wee flee away Lord how true diddest thou speake by the mouth of that Prophet True I find it who have now accomplished the number of so many yeeres My strength is labour not because of any paines which I take but onely by reason of the paines which I suffer Age hath beene allwayes freed from worke because it suffereth more in a languishing weakenesse then the young and lustie doe in their travells Num 8 24. From twentie and five yeeres old and upward the Levites were required to wayte upon the service of the Tabernacle of the congregation vers 25 And from the age of fiftie yeeres they were to cease wayting upon the service thereof and to serve noe more God will have the best of our time yea all for his service But alasse the custome is too common among us to serve our selves at least untill fiftie and it may be then or not so soone wee thinke upon God But why should wee not rather render the yeeres of our strength to the God of our strength Ps 43.2 The fault which I complaine of is too frequent among others but can I excuse my selfe from the guilt thereof I now beginne to thinke upon the service of my God when through age I am noe more able to serve my selfe Every thing disturbeth and tormenteth my aged limbes even my very apparell becometh a burden O why doe people so fondly desire to live to be aged Have the gray haires delight or the parched and dryed body any pleasure Alasse noe I find it hath not This this is the time which the Preacher speaketh of Eccl 12.2 Now the Sunne and the light and the moone and the starres are darkened and the clowdes returne after the raine The beautie of the countenance which shined like the Sunne the skiecolloured eyes the apples of those eyes which sparkeled like the Starres are growen dimme and obscure The eye-lidds are filled with waters like a swollen cloude labouring in the deliverie of it's mournefull burden Pleasures and delights and joyes and merriments have now with-drawne the lustre of their glory and paines and dolours and griefes and sadnesse have benighted my feeble and crazie body Now the keepers of the house tremble vers 3. and the strong men bowe themselves and the grinders cease because they are few and those that looke out of the windowes be darkened My knees which were the supporters of this walking dust begin to creeckle and tremble under their oppressing burden Mine armes and hands have forgotten their stedfastnesse and quake and faint in the execution of their just commands The teeth which prepared the meate for the stomack are fled away from their narrow chambers and left the open doores the hollow gummes in trust to mock my desires Those eyes which once could dazell the spectatours sate proudly in their thrones darting their rayes upon their desired objects have now the curtaines of age drawne over their flames and the vayle of antiquitie eclipseth their glory Now the doores are shut in the streetes vers 4. and the sound of the grinding is lowe and here is rising up at the voyce of the bird and the daughters of musick are brought low My feete are afflicted with lamenesse that they cannot any longer carie mee into the streetes The sound of the grinding
to beare or her patience to endure O what shall I doe What shall I doe I cry Ps 38.8 I reare for the very disquietnesse of my heart But hath not God promised to beare my cry and to helpe mee Hath hee not commanded mee to call upon him in the day of trouble Ps 50.15 and then promised that hee will deliver mee and I shall glorifie him Now ô now is the time for the fullfilling of his promise This this is the day of my trouble Ps 143.7 My spirit is waxed faint my friends are disturbed all eyes here pitty mee and weepe for my sufferances and grieve that they cannot ease mee But what shall I doe Shall I despaire of his mercy who hath promised mee deliverance O noe I may not I dare not I dare not I will not ps 71.5 vers 6. The Lord God shall be my hope hee who hath beene my trust from my youth By him have I beene holden up from the wombe hee it is who tooke mee out of my mother's bowells and may deliver mee of mine infant my praise shall therfore be ever of him I cannot choose but thinke that Tamar had pangs as greate as mine can be when shee laboured of the twins Gen 38 27. I cannot choose but imagine that Rebekah suffered as much as I doe c 25.22 when Esau and Iacob struggled in her wombe If these were freed from their paines delivered of their children Why should I complaine so much of my torments and forget what greater I have justly merited Should I live a thousand yeeres in one continued and most bitter throw yet would it not be comparable to a minuit of sufferance in the infernall flames and yet eternitie of those have I wickedly merited allthough I feele them not Seeing then that my God is so good as not onely to send mee here lesse torment then I deserve but allso to assure mee of an escape from those infernall horrours why should I repine at these lesser sufferances Sometimes I find a comfortable intermission my pangs are not constant and continued I have times to breath and provide for the next Surely hee who sometimes refresheth mee with respite and cessation doeth intend that in my paine I should rely upon his mercy Is 66.5 vers 9. Let him therfore be glorified and hee shall appeare to my joy Shall hee bring to the birth and not cause to bring forth Shall I cause to bring forth and shut the wombe saith the Lord God There is comfort in his promises there is ease in his mercy I must wayte the time of his pleasure and then shall I have the content which hee hath promised his chosen My pangs may endure for a while but they shall not continue long 1. Tim. 2.14 This chastisement is sent to put mee in mind that Adani was not deceaved but the woman being deceaved was in transgression Yet to my comfort let mee likewise remember that the Apostle addeth Notwithstanding shee shall be saved in child bearing vers 15 if they continue in faith and charity and holinesse with sobriety By child-bearing is meant the plunges which I am in as well as the cares of education the rest of the dueties to which wee are obliged Doe thou ô my Iesus strengthen my faith in the assurance of thy merits renew my love and my charity both to my maker and my neighbour sanctifie mee ô blessed Spirit that I may continue in holinesse and give mee patience that I may endure with sobrietie and peace what I must goe thorough The time may come that this child may blesse the wombe that bare it Lue 11 27. and these pappes which my God may spare to give suck unto it His will must be fullfilled and my will must submit If hee spare mee life I will render him thanks If hee give mee my child I will dedicate it to his service but if it be his pleasure through this tribulation to end my dayes then I know and am assured that hee will wipe away all teares from mine eyes Reu. 21.4 Then hee will bring mee to his heavenly throane where shall be noe more death neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things shall be passed away The Prayer O My Lord and my God my heavenly father my mercifull Iesus thou who hast filled my belly with thine hidden treasure Ps 17.14 and now hast brought mee to hope and depend in the middest of mine anguish upon thy wonted mercies bow downe thine eare and hearken to the cryes of a pained woman Vnto thee ô Lord doe I crye Ps 142 5. thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living attend therfore unto my cry vers 6. Ps 119 153. Ps 69.29 for I am brought very low Consider mine affliction and deliver mee for I doe not forget thy law I am poore and sorrowfull let thy salvation ô God set mee up on high Ps 38.8 I am feeble and sore smitten I roare by reason of the disquietnesse of my heart vers 9. 1. Tim. 4.10 Ps 18.1 vers 2. All my desire is before thee and my groaning is not hid from thee In thee I trust who art the living God who art the saviour of all especially of them that believe I love thee ô Lord my strength thou art my rock and my fortresse my strength in whom I trust my buckler the horne of my salvation and my high tower Ps 7.1 Ps 20.1 ô save mee now in this heavie visitation and deliver thy servant Heare mee ô Lord in this day of trouble thy name ô God of Iacob vers 2. defend mee Send mee helpe from thy sanctuarie Ps 25.16 strengthen mee out of Sion Turne thee unto mee and have mercy upon mee for I am desolate vers 17 and afflicted The troubles of my heart are enlarged ô bring thou mee out of my distresses vers 18 Looke upon mine affliction and my paine vers 20 and forgive all my sinnes O keepe my soule deliver mee let mee not be confounded for I put my trust in thee Ps 71.1 In thee alone doe I put my trust vers 2. let mee never be put to confusion but deliver mee in thy righteousnesse and cause mee to escape incline thine eare unto mee and save mee Ps 40.13 Be pleased ô Lord to deliver mee ô Lord make hast to helpe mee Give a happie end to these my torments that I may enjoy the fruit of my wombe for which I suffer them O Lord in mercy if it may stand with thine eternall decree preserve both my life and the life of mine issue Arme mee with patience to undergoe these pangs and in the â—nd give mee comfort in what thou shalt send mee If otherwise thou hast determined to end my life by these heavy torments ô my sweete and mercifull Iesus receave mee into thy bosome that I
may passe from miferie to eternall happinesse Heare Lord have mercy both upon mee and mine and graunt my petitions for the worthinesse of that most mercifull and most blessed sonne of a woman thine onely begotten Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen soliloquy 2 2. ly Teares of a woman after her deliverie from the paines of Child-birth The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Woman Io 16.21 when shee is in travell hath sorrow because her hower is come but as soone as shee is delivered of the child she remembreth noe more her anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world O how truely doeth my heavenly Iesus describe both his mercy and my comfort I who ere while was full of anguish and teares am now with comfort brought againe to my bed I who had allmost despaired of mercy in the midst of my sufferances have found a deliverer Mee think's I could weepe because I wept so much and grieve because my cryes did savour of distrust Many teares did I shed through the anguish which I suffered but have I none left of sorrow for offending in my pangs I will begge for pardon at the hands of him who sent mee this ease and then I will thanke him for his bountie in sending mee this child Prettie infant the beginning of his cryes was the end of mine and the beginning of his trouble was the end of my labour O how did I long to see him whom I now embrace How did I wish to be delivered of him whom yet againe I receave Hee is parted from my wombe to be caried in mine armes and he who before was the burden of my bowells now is made the delight of mine eyes Now with a greater comfort I hope then the first sinner embraced the first that ever was borne I may rejoyce and say I have gotten a man from the Lord. Gen 4.1 1. Chr 4.9 Gen 35.18 True it is that I might call him a Iabez because I bare him with sorrow I might name him Ben oni because hee was the sonne of mine affliction and sorrowes but I will rather with Iacob call him Benjamin the sonne of my right hand O how gratious was my God unto mee in that hee sent mee a mid-wife to helpe mee neighbours to comfort mee a house to cover mee a fire to warme mee and now a bed to ease mee The mother of my Lord had not an house but a stable onely Lu 2.7 for there was noe roome in the Inne Her holy child was layed but in a manger whereas mine is in a cradle yet I am wicked I am sinfull and uncleane yea and this babe is not borne without originall pollution But I will begge of the Lord that with Simeon I may take up my Iesus in mine armes vers 28 or rather in my heart and I will beseech him that as I desire to embrace him in my soule so hee will embrace mee in the armes of his mercy Mee think's when I remember how hardly the Israëlites were used by the Egyptians when the midwives were commanded to slay the males Ex 1.16 I cannot choose but tremble at the miseries of the women It might seeme a sinne in them to desire sonnes seeing they knew that their birth was but a stepp to their graves Those mercifull hands which brought them into the world were commanded to be the executioners of the innocent babes The women were to be as cruell in their murders as the King was in his commands and yet such bloody acts were to be called executions and not styled murders They had a command to put in practise what was so horrid and barbarous whereupon they were perplexed to thinke that either they must necessarily disobey authoritie or else destroy those who had not offended It is true that if God had commanded it the act had beene righteous Gen. 22 2. Abraham not onely may but must be the priest to sacrifice his sonne his onely sonne Isaak when God requireth it But if God forbiddeth what man commandeth wee must be more ready to suffer then to obey those commands When wee dare not doe what wee are unjustly commanded wee must dare to suffer what shall be unjustly inflicted on us O how grievously was Iochebed perplexed in her miseries Ex 2.3 when for feare lest her Moses should be slaine according to the decree shee was enforced to expose him to the brinke of the river That child whom shee could noe longer hide shee was faine to cradle up in an arke of bull-rushes Thus shee who durst not keepe her infant adventured upon a trade which shee never had learned but her directour was his preserver Surely the teares which shee shed for feare of his death did perswade the river to carie him alive for shee so bribed the torrent with the droppes from her eyes that it tooke more compassion then the heart of the tyrant One word of that King might have saved at once both her sorrowes and her feares Mee think 's the very river might have taught him to melt for his cruelty but where grace is wanting every thing that should check the petulancie of sinne doe's but give vigour to the execution thereof There was a sorrowfull mother weeping for feare of the death of him who might peradventure have cost her her life and there was a child too crying as if it had beene either sensible of the cruelty of the salvage tyrant or else struck with compassion for the tender mother The cryes of both were so lowd and so just that they pierced the clowdes and were heard up to heaven and the daughter of the King was moved to save what her father in his fury did seeke to destroy The child was found by Pharaoh's daughter and ignorantly as well as compassionately shee put him to nurse to his indulgent mother O what cannot God doe when hee decreeth to act His justice is severe and potent Ps 145 9. but his mercy which is over all his workes is full of goodnesse and wonder Hee who preserved Moses hath saved this infant and I hope hee hath chosen him for a vessell of honour Zacharias was promised that hee should have joy and gladnesse in Iohn the Baptist Luc. 1.14 I will hope for the like in this new-borne babe and I will begge of my Lord that hee may be beloved of him Him I must magnifie for the deliverance of my selfe and him I must thanke both for the shape the life of my child My wombe might have proved the grave of mine infant and my selfe the sepulcher of a child unseene I might have dyed in the birth of this which I embrace and the litle infant ignorant of my cryes might unwittingly have beene the destroyer of his mother Or else I might have lived
and this child have dyed so should the teares which I had shed through the extreamitie of my pangs be seconded with more for the losse of my desires In all these mercies I must looke up to my Redeemer and acknowledg him the father and donour of these blessings I will therfore magnifie him for his goodnesse and praise him for his loving-kindnesse Ps 106 1. I will give thankes unto the Lord for hee is gratious because his mercy endureth for ever The Prayer O Mercifull God heavenly father who hast now most especially made knowne unto mee Eph 3.20 that thou art able to doe exceeding aboundantly above all that wee aske or thinke make mee thankfully rejoyce in the worke of thy love and thy tender mercie Thy favours are greate and wonderfull in sparing the life of my selfe mine infant in freeing mee from my pangs and him from the darknesse of the silent wombe Thine ô Lord is the power by which I am delivered thine is the mercy by which I am safely returned unto my bed thine is the worke of the frame and fashion of this my babe thine therfore shall be likewise the glory for ever and ever Graunt blessed Father that I may never sorget thy goodnesse but expresse my thankfullnesse in my new obedience Make mee carefull in the performance of what service I promised thee in the extreamitie of mine anguish As thou hast given mee the fruit of my body to the joy of my heart so give mee the fruit of righteousnesse sowen in peace Iam 3.18 vers 17 Give mee the wisedome which is from above that is full of good workes without hypocrisie Lord make mee thy servant by grace and make this child thy child by adoption and mercy Give mee comfort in his life for the sorrowes which I endured at his birth Gal 1.15 Seperate him from the wombe as thou didst Saint Paul that hee may be a chosen vessell of sanctification and honour Teach mee innocency and simplicitie by the example of this infant and make mee hereafter teach him goodnesse and righteousnesse by the power of thy grace Make us allways children in wickednesse 1. Cor. 14.20 1. Pet 2.2 Gal 4.19 but not in understanding that so as new borne babes wee may desire the sincere milke of thy word that wee may grow thereby Let thy sonne Christ be formed in this litle infant that as it hath beene preserved by thy power and providence in the first birth so it may feele thy mercy and grace in the second Lord give a blessing to whatsoëver shall be used for the recovery of my strength that I may allways praise thee both in prosperitie and adversitie Give thy blessing to the meanes for the nourishment of this child Give it strength that it may live to receave the seale of thy mercy in the laver of Baptisme and doe thou be present with thy blessing when the signe shall be administred Lu 2.52 O let it live if it be thy blessed will and grow up in wisedome and in stature and in grace both with thee and with men that so I may magnifie thy name for making mee an instrument to propagate the number of thine elect who am the weakest and the unworthiest of women Increase thy Kingdome daâ—ly Take pittie upon all that suffer afflictions especially on those women who are in labour of children Give them comfort in the time of their miseries ease from their torments joy in their desired issue and thankfullnesse for thy blessings Lord graunt that both I they may sing praises to thy name for the greatnesse of our deliverances and expresse our thanks in our godly lives that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may sing tryumphantly in eternall glory through Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen 13. THE THIRTEENTH SUBJECT Teares in the time of a generall Pestilence The Soliloquie Consisting of sixe severall parts and treating of 1 Mourning by example in a publike calamitie 2 Severall causes of God's visitations 3 Sinne especially the cause of the Pestilence 4 Severall examples of dreadfull Pestilences 5 God's threatning before his visitation 6 The duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence The first part of the Soliloquie treating of mourning by example in a publike calamitie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe heart of the wise is in the house of mourning Eccl 7.4 saith Solomon but the heart of fooles is in the house of mirth Is the heart then sometimes in a pilgrimage from the body Or is the body required to visit the sick yea though the disease be infectious Or are wee allways by command Ps 42.3 to imitate the Prophet whose teares were his meate day and night The heart indeede is often from home and is least where it liveth most where it loveth The sick must be visited or else my Saviour will complaine as hee doth in the Gospel saying I was sick Mat 25 43. Iob 2.11 and yee visited mee not When Iob's three friends heard of the evill that was come upon him they came every one from his owne place for they had made an appointment together to come to mourne with him and to comfort him vers 13 So they sate downe with him upon the ground 2. King 13.14 and mourned seaven dayes and seaven nights When Elisha was fallen sick of his sicknesse wherewith hee dyed Ioash the King of Israël came downe unto him and wept over his face and said O my father my father the charet of Israel and the horse-men thereof c 8.29 When wicked King Ioram went to be healed in Iezreel of the wounds which the Syrians had given him at Ramah Ahaziah the sonne of heboram King of Iudah went downe to see him in Iezreel because hee was sick Thus doe I reade of a holy Patient visited by friendly mourners a holy Prophet visited by a weeping King a wicked King visited by another as wicked as himselfe All these were visiters or visited but I doe not find that the diseases were infectious Noe I must therfore imitate the best of them in my charitie to others but I may not forget charity to my selfe Willfully to runne into apparent danger is desperately to tempt the keeper of Israel What shall I then doe The passing bells informe mine eares of the mortalitie of my neighbours yet I cannot I must not visit them What I say shall I doe What course shall I take Charitie commandeth mee compassion hasteneth mee to the dying Christians that by my advice or at least by my prayers I might expresse my commiseration And yet when I am just at my doore provided resolved intended to goe even then mine owne health the health of my familie and which is
cleere though man should judg thee Under this thy heavie wrath wee groane ô Lord wee cry wee howle for sicknesse increaseth death approacheth yea such a sicknesse and such a death as maketh us feare both our selves and our neighbours because wee have not feared thee the Lord of hosts Thou seest ô Lord our afflictions even that our houses are made our prisons and our sores our companions Our streetes are turned into pastures our townes into wildernesses and for our backwardnesse in our devotions our very doores instruct us to addresse our selves unto thee and to beseech thee Lord to have mercy upon us Our dayes are consumed in sorrowes and languishing and our nights in weeping and mourning Thou woundest us and wee cry thou smitest us and wee roare thou plaguest us and wee are troubled wee are dismayed Our Golgothaes are surfeited with the dead and our habitations infected with the living Wee flye from place to place from countrie to countrie yet wee flie not from thy presence wee avoyd not thy judgments What shall wee doe What shall wee doe Is there noe balme Ier 8.22 ô Lord in Gilead Is there noe physitian there Why then is not the health of the daughter of thy people recovered Thy sonne thy mercifull sonne thy sweete sonne Iesus was sent to bind up the broken hearted Is 61.1 vers 2. and to open the prisons to them that were bound and to comfort them that mourne and hee was not backward in the performance of this for which hee was sent Mat 4.23 c. 15.30 for hee healed all manner of sicknesse and all manner of diseases among the people At thy feete therfore ô Iesus thou best physitian wee cast our selves downe A multitude wee are that lye at thy feere Cure us ô Christ heale us ô Iesus as thou didest the multitude Lu 6.19 Mat 14 14. A whole multitude once did seeke to touch thee for there went vertue out of thee and thou healedst them all Thou wert moved with compassion and didst heale their sick Many didst thou cure of their infirmities and plagues Luc 7.21 Is 59.1 Behould thy hand is not shortened that it cannot save neither is thine eare heavy that thou canst not heare The number of petitioners cannot deterre thee Mat. 3.10 the multitude of suitors cannot molest thee for thou hast healed many therfore with the multitude in the gospel wee presse upon thee that wee may but touch thee for thou hast vertue in thee thou hast power to heale O Lord heare ô Lord forgive ô Lord heale us of our grievous wounds In the depth of thy furie when thou didst resolve to be revenged of a rebellious people it was yet thy promise that thou wouldest leave a few from the sword Eze 12 16. and from the famine and from the Pestilence that they might declare all their abominations among the people where they should come that they might know that thou art the Lord. Vs thou hast plagued us thou hast punished so sorely so grievously that but few of us are left yet ô Lord now at last looke in mercy upon us ô Lord let this remnant findthy compassion O cure us O heale us ô helpe us for thy mercie 's sake When thou wert angrie with Egypt Is 19.22 thou didst threaten to smite it but even at that very instant thou didst likewise promise to heale it and that they should returne unto thee their Lord and that thou wouldest be intreated of them Ier 33.6 Thou didst proclaine unto Iudah that thou wouldest bring it health and cure and wouldest cure them and reveale unto them aboundance of peace and trueth Thou didst promise unto Zion that thou wouldest restore health unto her c 30.17 and heale her of her wounds because shee was called an out-cast by the people saying This is Zion whom noe man seeketh after These were thy promises even in the midst of thy threatnings and wilt thou be worse unto us then thou wert unto Egypt or Iudah or Zion True it is that thou expectest our conversion Ioel. 2.12 thou commandest us to turne unto thee with all our hearts and with fasting and with weeping and with mourning To thee therfore ô God though formerly wee have not yet now doe wee turne Wee turne unto thee both our weeping eyes and our dejected countenances and our wringing hands and our bended knees and our mournefull voyces and our groaning hearts Mercifull God behould our teares and view our countenances and looke upon our hands and strengthen our knees and hearken to our voyees and comfort our hearts The Priests ô Lord vers 17 even thine owne Ministers doe weepe betweene the porch and the altar and they say Spare thy people ô Lord and give not thine heritage to reproach Ezra 10.1 Our Ezra's pray and confesse and weepe and cast themselves downe before thine house and the people assemble themselves unto them both our men and our women and our children for wee all weepe very sore Num 2.56 Wee weepe as the Israëlites did before the doore of the tabernacle of the congregation when twentie and fowre thousand of them dyed of the Pestilence Thus wee mourne thus wee weepe our eyes our hearts our very soules doe weepe ô let us tast of thy love let us feele thy compassion Make us to boast of thy praise as thy servant David did Ps 30.2 when hee cryed unto thee and thou didst heale him Thou hast beene wrath with us as thou wert with the Iewes for their coveteousnesse Is 57.17 and thou hast smitten us thou hast bid thy selfe and hast been angry yet wee have gone on frowardly in the wayes of our hearts But ô our God doe thou make us as penitent as those lewes and then say unto us as thou didst unto thy Iudah vers 18 I have seene thy wayes and I will heale thee I will leade thee allso and restore comforts unto thee and to thy mourners Alas wee mourne and yet wee are punished wee grieve and yet wee are plagued and all because our iniquities doe testifie against us Ier. 14.7 but for thy name's sake ô Lord be pleased to spare us vers 8. O the hope of Israel the Saviour thereof in the time of trouble why shouldest thou be as a stranger in the land and as a way-faring man that turneth aside to tarrie but a night vers 9. Why shouldest thou be as a man astonied as a mighty man that cannot save Thou ô Lord art still in the midst of us and wee are called by thy name therfore wee pray thee 1. King 8.37 vers 38 leave us not O here is a Pestilence in our land and wee make our prayers and supplications vers 39 and streetch forth our hands to ward thine house Heare therfore in heaven thy dwelling place vers 40 and forgive that wee may feare thee and walke in thy wayes all the dayes of our lives Or if
let the sicknesse of our bodies put us in mind of the diseases of our soules Good God either preserve us from sicknesse or protect us in sicknesse Be thou our God and make us thy servants and then come either with health or with sicknesse thy will be done Ps 91.7 Thou canst cause a thousand to fall at our side and ten thousand at our right hand and yet preserve us Thou canst if thou pleasest vers 10 so protect us that noe evill may befall us nor any plague come nigh our dwelling O graunt therfore that wee may make thee our refuge vers 9. Ps 38.6 yea thee who art the most high our habitation Wee are troubled o Lord wee are bowed downe greately wee goe mourning all the day long Ps 102 9. vers 10 Wee eate ashes as it were bread and mingle our drinke with weeping because of thine indignation and thy wrath for thou hast lifted us up and cast us downe But o thou who art my onely rock Ps 42.9 why hast thou forgotten us O why goe wee thus mourning by reason of this affliction Ps 43.2 Thou art the God of our strength Why doest thou cast us off O give mee leave with Queene Esther to speake yet againe before thee the King of Kings Est 8.3 and to fall downe at thy feete as shee did at the feete of King Ahasuerus and to besiech thee with teares to with-draw thy visitation Iob. 14 22. O Lord our verie soules within us doe mourne for thou doest cause our Sunne to goe downe at noone and doest darken our earth in the cleere day Amos. 8.9 vers 10 Thou hast turned our fasts into mourning and all our songs into lamentation thou hast brought sack-cloth upon our loynes Lam. 5.15 vers 16 and made our mourning as the mourning of an onely sonne The joy of our hearts is ceased and the crowne is fallen from our head Woe unto us that wee have sinned But ô thou who wert annointed to preach good tidings unto the meeke Is 61.1 who wert sent to bind up the broken-hearted vers 2. to proclame liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to them that are bound to proclaime the acceptable yeere of the Lord yea and the day of vengeance of our God to comfort all that mourne vers 3. to appoint unto them that mourne in Zion to give unto them beawtie for ashes the oyle of joy for mourning the garment of praise for the spirit of heavinesse Thou who settest up on high those that be low Iob. 5.11 Ps 102 17. that those which mourne may be exalted to safety Reguard thou I most humbly and earnestly besiech thee the prayers of us the poore destitute despise not our desires Thou hast seene our wayes Is 57.18 O doe thou heale us leade us allso and restore comforts unto us that wee may be called Trees of righteousnesse the planting of thee our Lord that thou mayst be glorified Wound us not Ier. 30.14 O father with the wound of an enemie with the chastisement of a cruel one for the multitude of our iniquities vers 15 Let not our sorrow be incurable because our sinnes be increased Though for a small moment thou hast seemed to forsake us Is 54.7 yet with thy greate mercies gather us againe vers 8. In aditle wrath thou doest hide thy face from us for a moment but with ever-lasting kindnesse have mercy upon us ô Lord our Redeemer O thou who art our Redeemer vers 5. Ps 34.15 Is 37.17 the Holy one of Israel the God of the whole earth Let thine eares be open unto our cryes open thine eyes and see our afflictions how wee are shut up from the comforts of the godly and from the societie of our indeared friends Ps 13.3 Consider and heare mee ô Lord my God lighten our eyes lest wee sleepe the sleepe of death Ps 123.2 Behould as the eyes of servants looke unto the hand of their masters and as the eyes of a mayden unto the hand of her mistresse so our eyes wayt upon thee ô Lord our God untill thou have mercy upon us O doe thou graunt unto us remisston of our sinnes patience in our miseries comfort in our distresse physick for our health and recoverie and in thy blessed time bring our soules out of prison Ps 142.7 that wee may give thanks unto thy name which thing if thou wilt graunt unto us then shall the righteous resort againe unto our companie Ps 79.13 So shall wee that be thy people and sheepe of thy pasture give thee thanks for ever and shew forth thy praise from generation to generation world with-out end Amen subject 15 THE FIFTEENTH SUBJECT Teares of her who is visited with the Pestilence being 1 Either wounded with a Sore 2 Or marked with the Tokens soliloquy 1 1. Teares of the visited being wounded with a Sore The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray OH 't is come 't is come Ps 55.4 My heart is sore pained within mee and the terrours of death are fallen upon mee See See What swelling's this What rising's this Oh it is the messenger of death and biddeth mee to enquire into my sinfull life I am struck oh I am struck to the heart This is the impression of anger and the blott of him who in his wrath may justly blott mee out of his wonted compassion Yet let mee not despaire let mee not be too much dismayd While there is life there is hope The woman in the law who had gone aside to another man in-steed of her husband whereof her husband was jealous Num. 5.20 and brought her to her purgation was to be charged by the Priest with an oath of cursing vers 21 vers 22 upon whose drinking of water her belly did swell and her thigh did rott Surely I have drunke none of that water or if I have it cannot hurt mee for by that very law vers 28 the innocent escaped free from the punishment I have never disbonoured my nuptiall bed nor defiled my selfe with any other man that this swelling should light upon mee Yet now I better consider of it let mee not deceave my selfe There is as well a spirituall as a carnall adulterie Even a virgin may be styled an adulteresse Have I never turned from my God Hath my soule never forsaken her deerest husband my blessed Redeemer to commit a spirituall whoredome O guiltie guiltie woe is mee I cannot choose but pleade guiltie to this my indictment My conscience telleth mee that I have followed the temptations of the enemies of Christ I cannot tell how often and justly therfore I must confesse may this swelling be my punishment for greater then this hath beene my due
Ierusalem and to set a marke upon the fore-heads of the men that sighed and that cryed for all the abominations that were done in the midst thereof A marke I have too yea more then one and one and one though not in my fore head and they are set on as if they proceeded from the inke of the writer but woe is mee I have either not cryed at all or not enough either for mine owne sinnes or for the abominations of Ierusalem how then can I hope to escape the destruction And yet hee that spared them if hee please can spare mee likewise for his hand is not shortned Is 59.1 that it cannot save neither is his eare heavie that hee cannot heare 2. King 20.1 When Hezekiah was commanded to set his house in order and it was tould him that hee should die and not live vers 2. hee turned his face to the wall and prayed unto the Lord and wept sore vers 3. vers 5. and presently Isaiah was sent unto him to tell him Thus saith the Lord the God of David thy father I have heard thy prayer I have seeno thy teares behould I will heale thee and I will adde unto thy dayes fifteene yeeres vers 6. Hee may be pleased to say unto mee too as hee did unto Hezekiah for I allso weepe yea I weepe very sore and I allso pray yea I pray heartily Ps 22.19 and say Be not thou farre from mee ô Lord ô my strength hast thee to helpe mee But Hezekiah was more righteous then I am 2. King 20.3 for hee walked before the Lord in trueth and with a perfect heart and did that which was good in his sight Rom. 7 18. Num 12.13 whereas in mee dwelleth noe good thing But Miriam was a woman as I am yea and sinfull and yet when shee was Leprous Moses cryed unto the Lord for her and sayd Heale her now ô God I besiech thee and shee was shut out from the campe but seaven dayes vers 15 and was healed O but shee had a Moses to pray for her whereas I alas have none I have noe such Moses to pray for mee But what shall I therfore remaine quite destitute of all hopes Shall I despaire of the goodnesse and the tender mercies of the most high Noe I may not I must not for that would but increase my sinne adde to my torments The woman in the Gospel who for twelve yeeres space had an issue of blood Mar 5.25 and had suffered many things of many physitians and had spent all that shee had and was nothing bettered vers 26 vers 27 but rather grew worse shee onely came behind my Iesus vers 29 and touched his garment and straight way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague vers 33 VVith that fearing and trembling woman therfore will I in like manner fall downe before him and tell him all the trueth I will confesse unto him all my sinnes or at least so many as possibly I can call to my remembrance Who knoweth but that hee may say unto mee as hee did unto her vers 34 Daughter thy faith hath made thee whole goe in peace and be whole of thy plague I am resolved to take noe repulse The whole multitude even the multitude of my sinnes shall not hinder mee though they rebuke mee that I should hould my peace but with the blind man in the Gospel I will cry so much the more Lu 18.39 Iesus thou sonne of David have mercy on mee Or if that prayer be too short while hee shall prolong my time I will compose and settle my selfe to a larger forme earnestly fervently zealously I will pray unto him and say The Prayer O Eternall and most mercifull Lord God whose eyes are ten thousand times brighter then the Sunne and yet thou vouchsafest to looke with thine eye of providence even upon the meanest of the children of men Lu 1.48 Ps 38.9 reguard I besiech thee the low estate of thine afflicted hand-mayd Thou knowest all my desires and my groaning is not hid from thee To thee the pollutions of my poore soule are more naked and open then these spotts in my flesh are obvious to my sight The fowlenesse of my corruptions have conspired with the infectious ayre to cause these staines in my skinn and by them I am commanded to prepare for my dissolution Lord if thou hast decreed by these meanes to free mee from this world of paine and miserie be pleased to translate mee from hence to the joy of thee my Lord and Master Mat. 25 23. Give mee ô my father a sight of mine imperfections make mee loath them and tremble at them more then I doe at these messengers of death Weane mee from the love of sinne by the consideration both of thy displeasure mine owne mortalitie These spotts appeare like so many eyes which seeme to stare mee in the face and would affright mee with horrour and all because I had not allways a consideration that thine eyes in every place doe behould the evill Prov. 15.3 and the good Blessed God give mee a sight of my corruptions and a detestation of them Ps 51.9 and then turne thou thy face away from my sinnes and blot out all mine iniquities Speake peace and health unto my wounded soule which every minuit expecteth thy coming Lord thou art a God who canst not abide to behould unrighteousnesse looke not therfore with thy wrathfull eye upon mee who am all sinne and pollution but upon thy Sonne and his sufferings Or if thou canst not choose but looke upon mee first cloath mee with the righteousnesse of that immaculate Lamb so shalt thou see mee with love and delight I shall behould thee with unspeakeable joy Prepare mee o my God that I may be a fit guest to be called and invited to the supper of the Lamb. Reu 19.9 Seale unto my soule the remission of mine offences and then make mee willingly to resigne up my body to thine owne disposing Yet thou mayest speake the word if so thou pleasest and thy servant may be healed Mat. 8.8 Luc. 17 15. There was a Leper in the Gospel who fell downe at thy feete ô Iesus giving thee thunks vers 16 and with a lowde voyce glorifying thy name because thou hadst healed him It is as easie for thee to restore mee in like manner Hos 5 13. as thou didst that Leper When Ephraim saw his sicknesse and went to the Assyrian Iudah saw his wound and sent to King Iareb there was found noe healing nor curing of the wounds but those that come unto thee shall find that thou art both able willing to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to give medicine to heale their sicknesse for unto Israël thou diddest proclayme thy selfe The Lord that
healeth Ex 15.26 Psl 6.2 Have mercy therfore upon mee ô Lord for I am weake ô Lord heale mee for my bones are vexed Ps 41.3 Ier 17.14 Strengthen mee now upon my bed of languishing make thou all my bed in my sicknesse Heale mee o Lord and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise c 30.12 O let not my bruise be incurable though my wound be grievous Let mee have one to pleade my cause vers 13 even that Holy One thine onely begotten Sonne that hee may bind mee up and give mee healing medicines Thou art hee who didst promise Iacob to correct him in measure vers 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished Thou rebukest mee for my sinne Ps 39.11 and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moath fretting a garment These Markes in my flesh doe cause a trembling even in my spirit Rev 13.17 Ps 86.16 Lord graunt that upon my soule be not found the marke of the beast but the marke of thy sonne that hee may owne mee for his O turne thou unto mee and have mercy upon mee give thy strength unto thy servant and save thy distressed hand-mayd Shew now some good token for good vers 17 that it may appeare unto the world that thou Lord doest helpe mee and comfort mee But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather mee unto my fathers make mee with joy comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven earth Looke not upon the sinnes and offences of my misse-led life but rather looke upon my Redeemer's death Is 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions bruised for mine iniquites the chastisement of my peace was layed upon him by his stripes therfore let mee be healed In the midst of the streete of thy throne ô God Reu 22.2 of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations O my God let mee but come to tast of those fruits let mee but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life Ps 41.4 Ps 103 1. Be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee Then shall my soule blesse thee O my Lord and all that is within mee shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities vers 3. and canst heale my diseases Into thine hands I commend my spirit Ps 31.5 for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thou God of trueth The Spirit and the bride say Come Reu 22.17 therfore let mee who now heare it say Come Let mee heare thy voyce ô God Gen 3.8 in the coole of the day not in the heate of thy displeasure And thou ô my Iesus who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the crosse how downe thine eare as thou didst upon the tree and heare and fullfill the desires of thy wounded supplicant Come ô Iesus and embrace mee in thine armes hide mee in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father In thee alone doe I trust to thee alone doe I flee succour mee helpe mee save mee O Christ The world I leave to thee I come At the doore of thy mercy doe I knock I call I cry Lord protect mee Iesus comfort mee Strengthen my faith and confirme my hope As my earthly body draweth neerer to the earth so doe thou draw my soule up neerer unto thee who art the father of spirits Heb 12 9. O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and then let mee enter into thy celestiall paradice and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased even Iesus Christ my onely Mediatour and Redeemer Amen subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray IT shall come to passe saith Moses to the house of Israel if thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God Deut 28.15 to observe to doe all his commandements and his statutes which I command thee this day that all these curses shall come upon thee and overtake thee vers 16 Cursed shalt thou be in the citty and cursed shalt thou be in the field Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store vers 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body c. vers 18 What all these curses from heaven for the sins of poore distressed mortalls O what a multitude of evills doe our sinnes deserve What punishment doeth not iniquitie cry for It cryeth for the curse of the citty the decay of trading the curse of the field whole rivers of blood in furious battailes the curse of the basket and the store the dearth of provisions Yet all these are but outward punishments and reflect onely upon the baser the worse part of our selves the body but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body oh this biteth like a Serpent stingeth like a Cockatrice Prov 23.32 The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sicknesse but is the sinne of the parent the cause of his affliction Yes yes my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt let my tongue be as ready to confesse it and my heart to repent of it But how standeth this with the justice of the Creatour Gen 18.25 Shall not the judg of all the earth doe right The Prophet Ezekiel telleth mee from God that The sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father Eze 18 20. Mich 7 6. Ier 9.20 neither shall the father beare the iniquity of the sonne but the soule that sinneth it shall dye Else the daughter might rise up against her mother as saith the Prophet and the women by reason of the vengeance due for their sinnes might teach their daughters wayling c 31.29 Rom 3 4. if the sowre grapes which the parents have eaten should set their childrens teeth on edge But let God be true and every man a lyar that hee may be justified in his sayings and may over-come when hee is judged Hee it is who hath threatned to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him The sinne is mine Ex 20.5 but the punishment is mine infant's againe the sinne is mine infant's and the punishment is mine And yet farther The sinne is of and from both and the punishment is inflicted upon both His sufferance is my sorrow and his paines my distresse Lord what a due reward of sinne is punishment My child as yet it may be knoweth not sinne and yet is hee punished
I climb up into a tree for it Yea I doe climb and into a tree too O it is the tree of mine owne pride and vanitie which beareth leaves goodly broade shadowing leaves but it beareth noe fruit at all nothing but keyes and those keyes are fitted onely for the wide gate that leadeth to destruction Mat. 7.13 they will never un-lock the gates of heaven This child is young hee is a babe a babe in age a babe in growth I am a babe not in age not in growth but such a one as the Corinthians were to whom the Apostle wrote 1. Cor. 3.1 and sayd that hee could not speake unto them as unto spirituall but as unto carnall even as unto babes in Christ My child is young and tender and simple apt to be led with trifles to stragle abroad with children to be caried any whither at the pleasure of her to whose charge hee is left I am a child too a verier child then mine owne apt to be tossed to and fro Eph. 4.14 and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lye in wayt to deceave And now what shall I doe I am the verier child of the two the most sinfull of the two and yet my child is afflicted with sicknesse and to mee noe other punishment is at present alotted but the griefe which I have for the sicknesse of my child Hee still cryeth still must I therfore cry Hee groaneth and I must allso groane Yea I doe groane I groane in spirit that my Iesus may cure the diseases of my soule I groane too for my child my prettie sweete babe that my Iesus may howsoever cure the infirmities of his soule and if hee so pleaseth recover allso the health of his body This must be the way to him I must thus goe Io. 14.6 Ps 30.8 for hee himselfe hath styled himselfe the way I will therfore cry unto the Lord and get mee unto my Lord right humbly I will goe to the gate of the physitian the gate of mercy and there I will knock and call and cry for entrance I will fall upon my knees and wring my hands and smite my breast Is 38.14 and weepe and mourne like a Crane and chatter like a Swallow even untill mine eyes faile with looking upward and thus will I say unto him The Prayer GReate God whose power is irresistable and whose pleasure is the rule of thy servant's obedience bow downe thine eare to my sad intreaties Thou hast stricken mee with sorrow who have not mourned for the cause and by the sicknesse of mine infant thou hast taught mee the frailtie of our mortall bodyes I see that all flesh is as grasse 1. Pet. 1.24 and the glory thereof but as the flowre of the field Mine impenitent heart I must confesse deserveth thy justice and my sinfull life this punishment of my tender infant But thou ô Lord art mercifull though I am sinfull and art apt to forgive those that truely repent O my God I desire to be sorrowfull for mine offences and earnestly I besiech thee to give mee true contrition for all my sinnes Iob. 7.20 O thou preserver of men remitt both my sinnes and the punishment which is justly due unto mee for them that I may rejoyce in thy mercy and magnifie thee for thy goodnesse Looke gratiously upon this child who feeleth the scourge though gently of thy justice due both for his and for my transgressions O let not thy wrathfull displeasure continue upon him nor my greater crimes cause an addition unto his torments Thy servant David confessed his sinnes and submitted to thy rod but yet hee cryed concerning his people 2. Sam. 24.19 and sayd These sheepe what have they done I dare not justifie this thy patient but I must needes acknowledg that for mine iniquities as well as for his thou thus doest wound him But ô thou who didst once command Mat. 19 14. that litle children should be brought unto thee didst prefer them for patternes both of innocency and humilitie shew now thy power in the weakenesse of this child Enable him with patience to endure thy visitation and direct mee to the meanes which may conduce to his recoverie if thou in thy secret decree hast so determined it Ps 6.2 Have mercy upon him ô Lord for hee is weake ô Lord heale him and free him from his sufferings Thou art hee that tookest him out of my wombe Ps 22.9 Ps 9.13 Ps 41.2 and canst as easily if thou pleasest lift him up now from the gates of death Preserve him ô God if it may be thy heavenly pleasure and keepe him alive that hee may be blessed upon earth ô heale his soule and raise him up againe Give a blessing to the meanes which shall be used for his recovery Ps 119 91. Ps 56.8 that all things in their order may be knowne to serve thee O let the teares of mee thine afflicted supplicant be put into thy botle and let the cryes of mee thy mournefull hand-mayd who beg for this infant be heard in the eares of thee the Lord of hosts Thou thy selfe didst weepe ô Christ Io. 11.35 for the death of Lazarus take compassion therfore on the weeping mother of this diseased child O let not my teares be shed in vaine but mercifully free this infant from his anguish and sufferings Yet howsoëver thou hast decreed righteous father not my will Mat 26.39 Ier 10.24 but thy will be done Onely let mee besiech thee to visit him in mercy and not in thy fury lest he be consumed and brought to nought Make him able to beare what thou determinest to send and in thy good time raise him out of this miserie Lord give mee allso a willing submission to thy holy pleasure that so I may neither discover too much fondnesse of affection to this my beloved issue when I see him subject to frailtie and mortalitie nor too immoderately grieve if thou receavest him to thy selfe Forgive whatsoëver is amisse in him and let his soule de deare and pretious in thy sight O Let thy mercy pleade against thy severitie let thy gratious promises be had in thy remembrance and let thy Christ be heard in his intercession both for mee and mine To thy will ô Lord make mee readily submitt to thy holy pleasure make mee willingly yeeld Thine is this infant Ps 39.13 and thou lentest him mee ô spare him a litle that hee may recover his strength before hee goe hence and be noe more seene To thy pleasure ô heavenly father I willingly refer him besieching thee to send him thy grace while hee shall remaine upon earth and after that receave him into glory for the worthinesse of thine onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 17 THE SEAVENTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the death of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5.
to submit with cheerefullnesse to this thy chastisement and to repent mee of my sinnes which brought this affliction Were it not just for mee to make my complaint in the bitternesse of my sorrowes thou wouldest not have commanded Zion to lament like a virgin girded with sack-cloth for the husband of her youth Thou Lam 1.8 ô Lord doest behould my sorrow and the griefe of my heart because thou hast taken from mee the desire of mine eyes Eze 24 16. and the joy of my heart Be pleased ô my God so to open the eyes of my soule and understanding that I may see as cleerely the cause of thy stroake as I am sensible of the losse of him that was my guide Though hee was sent to be the head of my body yet thou ô God didst offer thy selfe to be the husband of my soule but to my shame I must confesse that I followed the stepps of Samaria Eze 16 45. of Sodome and of Ierusalem and loathed thee my Lord and my husband justly therfore mightest thou say of mee as thou once didst speake of the church of the Iewes Hos 2.2 Shee is not my wife neither am I her husband But ô thou father of mercies for give my back-slidings and adde not affliction to affliction lest I faint under thy rod. Is 47.9 Spirituall widow-hood was a curse which once thou didst threaten unto Babylon ô let it not fall upon mee Allthough thou hast taken him that was my husband yet be pleased to betroth mee to thy selfe for ever Hos 2.19 Say unto mee Ruchama thou hast obtained mercy vers 16 vers 19 and let mee answer thee Baali and Ishi my Lord and my husband Betroath mee unto thee in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving-kindnesse vers 20 and in mercyes and in faithfullnesse and make mee know thee to be my Lord. 2. Cor 11.2 Send a Paul to espouse mee to one husband that so I may be presented as a chast virgin unto Christ. Give mee grace to doe as once thou commandedst the widowes of Edom Ier 49.11 1. Tim 5.5 even to trust in thee Though now I am desolate yet make mee for ever to trust in thee my God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day Thus let my sorrow be sanctified and my trust and confidence reposed in thee that so I may serve thee with cheerefullnesse endure thy visitation with patience and in the end that I may goe to that place where I trust thou hast crowned my husband and where my Saviour is certainly gone before even to the Kingdome of happinesse and that through the merits and intercession of the same Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 20 THE TWENTIETH SUBJECT A woman's teares at the funer all of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Sarah dyed in Kiriath-Arba Abraham stood up from before his deceased wife Gen 23 3. and spake unto the sonnes of Heth vers 4. saying I am a stranger and a sojourner with you give mee a possession and a burying place with you that I may bury my dead out of my fight Though hee so tenderly affected her whilest shee was living yet hee would not looke to long on her when shee was dead It is a duety as full of humanitie to interre with decency the bodies of the dead as it is of religion to love the persone when they are alive Yet vaine is man in this affection if hee fixeth his love onely on the beautie of the body This flesh which is so tender this skinne which I strive to preserve both smooth and white must one day be a banquet for the loathed wormes Noe greater priviledg belongeth to mee then did to my hushand for the time will come when I shall follow him to the earth Had I loved onely his outward forme my love should now either quite be forgotten or else I should fondly defire to deny it interment but it was his body enlivened with a rich and excellent soule which drew mine affection and commanded my desires Had that soule and body continued their societie I had beene freed from my laments but they have bid fare-well 'till the generall resurrection and hence am I enforced to utter my complaints I weepe for my losse because wee are divorced but ô what conflicts then can I imagine that hee had wheÌ„ hee was not onely to part from his indeared wife but likewise his soule was to leave this chillowed â—earth Oh for him for him for my losse of him doe I pay the tribute of these watering eyes Yet these teares must not flow in too greate aboundance lest by them I should seeme to envy his happinesse Even when his body shall be layed to sleepe in the grave if I mourne too much it will be justly suspected that too much I loved the worst of my husband His soule which was his best is now in perfection and may not be lamented his body which is the worse and grosser part of him is now to be committed to the earth whence it came Thither it must goe to that place I must commend it otherwise my former love may be turned into loathing and that which I esteemed when it was alive I shall be forced to abhorre if I keepe it from the grave O it grieveth mee each minuit that I thinke of my deerest it troubleth and perplexeth mee with disturbed thoughts when I consider how servently I loved him yet cannot enliven him But these are onely the fond conceptions of an erring phantisie and tell mee that I loved him more then I should or else now I would not grieve so much as I doe If my love to God be so greate as I pretend I shall thankfully acknowledg his love to the departed O let it never be said that my love was idolatrie in affecting him too much who is but dust and ashes But why sit I museing in these pensive thoughts when I should rather prepare for the buriall of the dead Have I taken a course for the place of his rest where his cold body may be layed to sleepe This is a duety which every age hath beene carefull to performe It was a greater argument of Iehojakim's furie against Vryah the Prophet Ier. 26.23 that hee cast his dead body into the graves of the common people then that hee slew him with the sword It hath allso beene a testimonie of God's revenge when hee suffered not the dead to have a decent interment Eccl 6.3 If a man beget an hundred children saith the Preacher and live many yeeres so that the dayes of his yeeres be many and his soule be not filled with good and allso that hee have noe buriall I say that an untimely birth is better then hee VVhen the
order unto him and in obedience to his commands I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love him with the same affection as my selfe For his sake for whom I love my selfe even for God's For the same reason as my selfe even for grace conferred in this life present and for a certaine hope of eternall glory in the life to come In the same order as my selfe which shall be above the world but inferiour to my God Vpon the same ground as myselfe even because of the image of God imprinted in him and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse lastly as long as myselfe even from the beginning unto the end untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive my sad and sorrowfull soule And that my brethren my neighbours may be the better assured of my love which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe Heb 4.14 and that it may be knowne that through the grace of my God I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same without leaning either to prophanesse atheisme superstition or any other errour or heresie and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end in the end I will therfore cheerefully faithfully and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe and say I beleeve in God the Father Allmighty Maker of heaven and earth and in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord which was conceived by the holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified dead and buried hee descended into hell the third day hee rose againe from the dead hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father All-mighty from thence hee shall come to judg the quick and the dead I beleeve in the holy Ghost the holy Catholike Church the Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen Thus I believe Lord helpe my un-beliefe Mar. 9.24 Eph. 4.14 and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lie in wayt to deceave vers 15 but that speaking and believing this trueth in love I may grow up unto him in all things which is the head even Christ my Redeemer And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes and continue in love and persevere in the faith and submit to his good pleasure I will with a bended heart and a sorrowfull spirit and weeping eyes pray unto him and say exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick FAther of mercies Lord of life thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble Ps 6.2 have mercy upon mee Ps 143.4 for I am weake and my heart with in mee is desolate A sinner I am I must confesse it not deserving thy mercy a fowle a grievous sinner I am who have disobeyed thy statutes and broken all thy commandements and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee My conscience check's mee and my sinnes testifie against mee and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee O Lord be thou my protectour and my gracious father Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased Io 16.23 and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee doe thou comfort mee in these my trpâ—… and afflictions Ps 60.11 o be thou my helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man To thee I cry to thee I come with a panting heart with a sorrowfull soule with an humble spirit I have sinned ô I have sinned and done amisse and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to bind up their wounds be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony Ps 143.6 in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes To thee Ps 143.6 and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee ô Lord that soone for my spirit waxeth faint hide not thy face from mee lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction O let not these teares be refused nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely My selfe I abhorre Iob 42.6 and repent in dust and ashes my workes I disclaine for I know their unworthinesse on thee alone ô my Iesus I wholly depend and by thee alone I hope for remission Be thou my Iesus be thou my Saviour Cure mee by thy wounds heale mee by thy stripes ease mee by thy torments comfort mee by thine agonie refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat revive mee by thy death and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world present mee to thy father in the robe of thy righteousnesse Ps 94.13 Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure rely upon thy mercy be thankfull for thy chastisement and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection This sicknesse for ought I know may be unto death but in thee I trust it shall be a passage unto life If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation howsoever be pleased ô my father for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death Let mee be found of thee in peace 2. Pet 3 14. Hab 3.2 Is 9.13 Iob. 3.25 Mich 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps 119.175 that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy Vnto thee I turne for thou hast smitten mee and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee My body thou
destruction nor the threatned fall nor thy resisting us nor Sodom's ruine Lord forgive this iniquity amongst us and give us now such humble hearts Ps 75.6 that wee may noe more set our hornes on high nor speake with stiffe necks for why Thou ô God art the judg vers 8. thou puttest downe one and settest up another Wee are taught ô thou just God of truth Prov. 11.1 that a false ballance is abhomination unto thee but a just weight is thy delight and wee know that thou didst question by thy Prophet saying Mic 6.11 Shall I count them pure with the wicked ballances and with the bagg of deceitfull weights vers 10 Are there not in Ierusalem and Samaria the treasures of wickednesse in the house of the wicked and the skant measure which is aboâ—minable Yea and wee know that thou doâ—… stricktly forbid Deut 25.14 vers 13 vers 15 saying Thou shalt not have iâ— thine house diverse measures a greate and 〈◊〉 small thou shalt not have in thy bagge diversâ— weights a greate and a small but thou shalâ— have a perfect and just weight a perfect and just measure shalt thou have that thy dayes may be lengthened in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee And yet for all this the same complaint may be made against many of us Ier 6.13 which was against Iudah wee are given to coveteousnesse and wee dealt falsly Iustly therfore ô most righteous judg thou mayst question us as thou didst the Iewes and say c 7.9 vers 10 will yee steale murder commâ— adulterie and sweare falsly and come and stand before mee in my house which is called by my name and say wee are delivered 〈◊〉 doe all these abominations O thou that art the easer of the oppressed thou God of compassionate bowells to thee are allso knowne both the deceaver and the oppressour walking hand in hand among us Surely thou hast seene it Ps 10.15 for thou behouldest ungodlinesse and wrong therfore thou callest Amos. 8.4 vers 5 saying Heare this ô yee that swallow up the needy even to make the poore of the land to faile saying when will the Sabbath be gone that wee may set forth wheate making the Ephah small and the Shekel greate and falsifying the ballance by deceit vers 6. that wee may buy the poore for silver and the needy for a paire of shooes Yea ô thou that makest inquisition for blood and forgettest not the complaint of the poore to thee wee must confesse that with the deceitfull is joyned allso among us even the bloody murderer allthough wee are well assured that the blood-thirstie and deceitfull man shall not live out halfe his dayes Ps 55.25 Yea Lord thou God of justice thou mayest allso complaine of us as thou didst of the Iewes Is 59.4 and say that few or none among us calleth for justice or pleadeth for truth wee trust in vanity and speake lyes wee conceave mischiefe and bring forth iniquity Hos 4.2 By swearing and lying and killing and stealing and committing adulterie the people breake out and blood toucheth blood Therfore doth our land mourne vers 3. and every one that dwelleth therein doth languish Thus ô thus wickedly thus contemptuously Iud 10 15. thus outragiously yea and many more and worse though closer wayes have wee sinned o Lord doe thou unto us whatsoever in thy mercy seemeth good unto thee For these Ier. 50.4 and for all other our private and publike our secret and our open our particular and our generall crimes I besiech thee o father of mercies to graunt that I and all the people of the land may goe weeping as once did the children of Israel and of Iudah Lord be reconciled unto us in the blood of that Lamb of thine who taketh away the sinns of the world Cause us all now in this time of our visitation to learne vers 5. and aske the way to Sion with our faces thitherward saying Come let us joyne our selves unto the Lord in a perpetuall covenant that shall not be broken Amos. 7.2 Dan. 9.19 Ioel. 2.21 vers 26 O Lord God forgive us I beseech thee by whom Shall Iacob arise For hee is small O Lord heare ô Lord forgive o Lord hearken and doe it so shall wee be sure that thou wilt doe greate things Cause us once againe to eate in plenty be satisfied praise thy name o Lord our God when thou hast dealt thus wonderously with us and wee shall never be ashamed Ier. 29.11 O let thy thoughts be thoughts of peace towards us and not of evill Wee should o my God 1. Pet. 3 8. wee should have loved one another as brethren and should have beene pittyfull and courteous but to our shame I must acknowledg with a sad and a broken heart that wee have beene more ready to bite and devoure one another Gal. 5.15 and therfore now are wee justly consumed one of another It is most just with thee o thou sin-revenging God thus to visit our offences with the rod Ps 89.32 our sinns with scourges Vnnaturall have beene our crimes therfore unnaturall are likewise our punishments Ps 37.15 for our swords doe goe thorow our owne hearts and wee our selves are become the destroyers of our selves O eternall mercy O eternall goodnesse be thou gratiously pleased I beseech thee to give us a true sight sense and feeling of these and all other our faylings and back-slidings give us hearty remorse contrition and sorrow for them all together with a stedfast resolution of new obedience yea and so strengthen us in these our pious resolutions and so enable us to the performance of the same yea so sanctifie us throughout that our whole spirits and soules bodies may be kept blamelesse unto the comeing of our Lord and Saviour Iesus Christ Thou hast threatned that If a man will not turne Ps 7.13 thou will whet thy sword this long time thou hast bent thy bowe thou hast prepared for us vers 14 and brought among us the instruments of death and hast ordained thine arrowes against thy persecuters Yet Lord thou art yesterday and to day and the same for ever The same father of mercies and God of all consolation Remember therfore I beseech thee how gratious thou wert to the people of Iudah to whom thou sentest thy Prophet to speake Ier. 26.3 If so be they would hearken and turne every man from his evill way that thou mightest repent thee of the evill which thou didst purpose to doe unto them because of the evill of their doeings O Lord doe thou rent our hearts in thy mercy and make us turne from our evill wayes that thou mayst repent thee of the evill of our punishments Make us turne unto thee with 〈◊〉 our hearts Ioel 2.12 with fasting and with weeping and with mourning Ex 32.12 and then turne thou from thy
then the great Lord of heaven and Earth and to worship them It is a quarrellsome a fighting heart a heart that like Davids hath often struck often smitten mee It is a double heart a dissembling heart a double minded heart It is a heart like a beasts like Nebuchadnezars when hee was driven from the sonnes of men and his heart was made like the beasts It is a hard heart hardened like Pharao's like the Israelites in the day of provocation a hard and impenitent heart that treasured up unto it selfe wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God a heart that was hardened and fell into mischiefe a hard and unbelieving heart a heart alienated from the life of God through ignorance by reason of the hardnesse there of and like that of the Israelites it is both a hard Eze. 3.7 Iob 41 24. Ier. 5.3 Ez 3.9 and an impudent heart It is a heart harder then the nether mill-stone as firme as a stone as hard as a rock yea 't is as hard as an adamant even harder then the flint Oh what a heart was this and yet 't is runne away from mee 't is gone what shall I doe I faine would weepe for the losse of it but I cannot weepe without it c 24.23 The curse which was threatned to the Iewes is fallen upon mee I cannot mourne nor weepe I doe onely pine away for the losse thereof But why should I grieve for the departure of a heart so dry so dead so fatt and so blind Of a heart so hidden so plagued so wicked and so condemning Of a heart so deceitfull so deluding so trouble some so deepe Of a heart so froward so evill so reproaching and so troubled Of a heart so trembling so idolatrous so smiting and so double Of a heart so beast-like so hard so unbelieving and so inpudent I consider and acknowledge how wicked it is yet I am sorrie mee think's that 't is gone But am I sure that this sinfull heart is gone indeede Or doe I but seeme to goe heart-lesse up downe seeking for that which hath bred this disturbance Ah I feare that I have it still with in my bosome and yet I am fondly possessed with a feare that I have lost it I may find it againe too soone to my sorrow and upon a strickt enquiry woe is mee I shall find it a bout me at every turne I may find it at my table in every dish and there 't is gluttonous in a glasse of wine and there 't is drunken in filthy muck and there 't is coveteous in my bed and there 't is lascivious in mine apparell there 't is proud in the wellfare of my neighbours there 't is envious in a quarrell and there 't is contentious in the synagogues of Sathan and there 't is idolatrous Where can I looke what can I behould that 's naught that 's wicked and not find my heart there And why then all this complaining All this seeking and searching for it Alas Alas t is too bad to leave mee 't is too wicked to runne from mee From hence shall grow my teares even because I understand not my heart It is with mee but I know it not it is within mee but I understand it not it torment's mee and yet I am so stupid that I feele it not it is ready to bring mee to ruine yet I seeke not to prevent the danger Lord how mad am I thus to possesse yet not to believe that I possesse a heart thus wicked and yet not to believe that it is so wicked What shall I doe Nay what wilt thou doe with such a heart as this It dishonoureth thee it corrupteth mee From goodnesse it drive's mee to wickednesse it leades mee Whither soever I goe whatsoëver I doe it induceth mee to sin by consequence without thine infinite mercies to eternall damnation In this desperate condition what shall I doe Amend it I cannot correct it I cannot and yet be quit of it be rid of it I cannot But why doe I give over the hope of its amendment as if noe means were left to prevent my ruine I must not distrust of the goodnesse of my God My heart is dry but by his assistance I will water it with my teares It is dead I will re-vive it with my teares it is fatt I will make it pine with my teares it is blind I will open it's eyes with my teares it is hidden I will reveale it in my teares it is infected I will cure it with my teares it is wicked I will correct it with my teares it is deceitfull I will punish it with my teares it is troublesome I will quiet it with my teares it is froward I will still it with my teares it is evill I will better it with my teares it trembleth I will comfort it with my teares it is idolatrous I will rectifie it with my teares it is quarelsome I will tame it with my teares it is double I will single it againe with my teares it is beast-like I will new baptize it in my teares it is hard I will mollifie it with my teares it is incredulous I will make it faithfull by my teares it is impudent I will make it blush with my teares Or if these eyes be drie or these teares but sew or these few teares of too litle vallew to effect my desires O thou who once in the fervency of thy devotion in the depth of thine agouy didst seate as it were greate drops of blood Luc 22.44 which fell from thy body for the sinns of he world o thou who in thy tender compassion seeing Mary at thy feete weeping the Iewes about thee weeping for the deoeased Lazarus didst groane in spirit Io 11.33 weepe with the mourners increase thou the teares of mine eyes for the sinns of my heart give them vertue by those teares which fell from thine that I may weepe and lament and be sorrowfull for my corrupted heart Io 16.20 that so my sorrow may be turned into joy Amen The second part Of the Soliloquie A lamentation for the losse of an honest heart NOe paine can be compared to the paine of the heart and cerrainly noe losse can be so great as the losse of the heart What comfort then can I expect can I find in any thing who have lost my first my best my dearest heart Once I had one and wâ—e is to this time where in I must say I bad Yes I had indeede I had a heart such a heart so plyable a heart to all goodnesse that I am enforced now to my cost to vallew it onely by the losse thereof I was theÌ„ a field Ps 107 37. Io 15.1 Luc 8.21 a pleasant field that yeelded my fruit with increase Yea I was manured ploughed sowed and harrowed by the best of husband-men by God him self The seede was the word of God vers
15 that seede fell on this ground this good ground for so I then was and with an honest vers 15 and good heart having heard the word I kept it and brought forth fruit with patience Sure I did I brought forth fruit good fruit or else I am much deceaved But why then Gen 3.18 doe I now lye fallow Why doe I produce nothing but thornes thistles the curse of the earth Heb 6.8 1. Cor. 3.9 Why nothing but thornes briers whose end is to be burned I was in those dayes ah I was Gods husbandrie but since that time hee hath left mee off my ground is growne out of heart quite out of heart for hee would digge mee noe more hee would plough mee noe more hee would soyle mee noe more But what is the cause of his anger Wherfore did hee thus leave mee thus forsake mee Alas the reason is too manifest I would needes take the plough out of his hands I would not suffer him willingly any longer to breake up the fallow ground of my heart Ier 4.3 but I my selfe would plough And what is the effect What is the event thereof Nothing but miserie nothing but woe for I have ploughed wickednesse Hos 10 13. and I have reaped iniquity and eaten the fruit of lyes I would needes follow mine owne wayes Deu 22 10. and plough with an oxe and an asse with thoughts cleane uncleane pure and impure ioyning them together and therfore to my woe I find the words of King Solomon in mee most sadly ve rified Prov. 21.4 Iob 4.8 that the ploughing of the wicked is sinne And yet I ahwretched I doe still follow the plough I plough iniquitie and sow wickednesse and yet for all that I looke not to reape the Same but I expect fondly I expect a harvest of goodnesse a croppe of blessings Ps 129.6 But now I find that those blessings doe wither even before they grow up The mower I find vers 7. cannot fill his hand with them nor hee that bindeth up sheaves his bosome Neither doe they which goe by say vers 8. The blessing of the Lord be upon you wee blesse you in the name of the Lord. Oh if God would but once againe take mee into his care and husbandrie Ps 1.3 I might bring forth good fruit in due season Then though I should goe on my way weeping Ps 126.6 yet I might beare pretious seede come againe with reioycing bringing my sheaves with mee This I might doe if hee would manure mee if hee would dung mee Lord 1. Cor. 4.13 let mee rather be made as the filth of the world the off-scowring of all things then not be manured by thee Make mee to account all things but dung Phil. 3.8 that I may winne thee and that so winning thee I may once againe be in heart that I may have a heart Deu 5.29 even such a heart may be in mee that I may feare thee and keepe all thy commandements illway that it may be well with mee for ever I had once a soft heart like Iob Iob 23.16 Eph. 4.32 2. Chr. 34.27 for God made it soft and the Allmighty troubled mee I had a tender heart apt to forgive a heart that was tender for I humbled my selfe before my God like Iosiah and rent my clothes and wept before him Hee did mollifie it made it fleshie hee tooke the stonie heart out of my flesh Eze 11.19 gave mee an heart of flesh not givē to the flesh to the fowlenesse the filthinesse of the flesh but such a heart of flesh as was flexible soft easie to be pierced I could weepe lament for every sinne for every transgression which I had committed against my good God It was a melting heart it would melt like the hearts of the Babilonians Is 13.7 Ps 22.14 when their destruction was threatned to be effected by the Medes it would melt like waxe in the midst of my bowells And well it might melt for it would burne it would burne within mee like the hearts of the two disciples goeing to Emaus Luc 24 32. yet this heart-burning was noe disease neither but as it was with David when mine heart was hott within mee then in my meditation the fire burned Ps 39.3 And well againe might it melt into teares for it was a mourning heart Eccl 7.4 Io 16.6 it delighted to be in the house of mourning it was full of sorrow as were the hearts of the disciples when Christ had tould them of the persecutions which they should suffer I had greate thoughts of heart Iud 5.15 Ps 119.161 such as were for the divisions of Reuben a heart very awfull for it stood in a we of the word of my God This heart of flesh so soft and tender so mollified and melting so burning so mourning this sorrowfull and thoughtfull heart was so apt for any impression of goodnesse that like unto Solomon I could find in it 2 Sam. 7.27 I could find an aptnes in it to pray unto the Lord. Prov 3.3 It was a writing table God had written mercy and trueth upon the table there of and in more perfect characters too then the Gentiles had Rom 2 15. I could shew the worke of the law written in my heart It was a loving heart Mat 5.43 it would love my neighbour and not hate mine enemies It was a broken heart and allthough 't was broken yet was it whole I could seeke the Lord like Iehosaphat 2 Chr 22.9 with my whole heart Yea this I could doe as Abimelech sayd of himselfe concerning his taking of Sarah Gen 20.5 Ps 119.10 Abraham's wife I could doe it in the integrity of my heart innocency of my hands With this whole heart I could seeke the Lord I could love him I could believe I could praise him Deu 4.29 c 6.5 I could seeke him with all my heart and with all my soule I could love him yea I could love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soule with all my might I could believe as Philip sayd to the Eunuch I could believe Act 8.37 Ps 9.1 even with all my heart I could praise him all so even with David I could praise the Lord with my whole heart Ps 119.80 This whole heart was sound too as David prayed even sound in the statutes of my God that I might not be ashamed This sound heart was single too single even like those good servants whom Saint Paul commandeth to be obedient unto them that are their masters according to the flesh with feare and trembling Ep 6.5 in singlnesse of heart as unto Christ Act 2.46 I could eate my meate with gladnesse Act 2.46 Ps 12.2 and singlnesse of heart It was not then my custome to speake vanitie unto my neighbour to speake with flattering
give mee a sight of and a sorrow for the offences thereof Breake thou my hard and stonie heart with the knowledg of my sinne and my due consideration of thy heavy wrath Psal 5.4 Eze. 11 19. Psal 51.10 Deut. 4 9.10.17.17 Ps 107.35 Thou art a God that delightest not in wickednesse remove therfore from mee this heart of obstinacie and give mee a heart of flesh Create in mee a cleane heart ô God and renew a right spirit within mee Let not thy commandements depart from it all the dayes of my life Speake but the word ô God and it shall be done Sanctifie it in thy trueth thy word is trueth O thou that didst turne the wildernesse into a standing water and drie ground into water springs be pleased to shew thy mercy now in the depth of my distresse Lord heare my desires behould my necessities Without a heart I cannot serve thee without a new heart I cannot praise thee Lord give mee a heart to feare thee Is 66.2 Ps 38.18 to tremble at thy word to listen to thy promises to confesse my sinnes and to be sorrie for mine offences Give mee ô my God Ps 119.80 fuch a heart as thou requirest that so it may be allways sound in thy statutes Give mee a heart that may mourne in secret for all my sinns both secret and open that may be zealous for thine honour that may be tender of thy displeasure and that may shun both the inclination to and the desire of offending thee my greate Creatour Heare mee ô God Io. 19.34 Mat. 26 38. for thy mercies are greate Heare mee ô Christ whose side was pierced whose soule was sorrowfull and all to purchase new hearts for all that are penitent sinners Heare mee ô blessed spirit and assist mee in my petitions with sighes Rom. 8 26. Can. 8.6 and groanes that cannot be expressed Give mee a heart for thy service and then set mee ô Lord as a seale upon thine â—rme O Lord give O Lord forgive Forgive my sinnes and give mee the blessing of a righteous heart that so I may feare thee as long as I shall remaine in this vallie of teares and then receave mee ô my father into thy celestiall Kingdome that I may live with thee in glorie for ever and ever through Iesus Christ my onely mediatour and redeemer Amen THE THIRD SUBJECT Teares of Time The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 A re-view of the time past 2 A consideration of the time present 3 A resolution for the time to come The First part A re-view of the time past THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe fower beasts in the Apocalyps that were full of eyes before behind and within sitting upon the throne which was set in heaven rested not day and night saying Rev. 4.8 Holy holy holy Lord God Allmighty which was and is and is to come What a high description is here of the sacred Trinitie The Father holy the Sonne holy and the Spirit holy and yet not three holies but one holy The Father Lord the Sonne Lord and the Holy Ghost Lord. The Father God the Sonne God and the Holy Ghost God The Father All mighty the Sonne All mighty and the Holy Ghost All mighty The Father Eternall the Sonne Eternall and the Holy Ghost Etemall and yet not three Lords nor three Gods nor three Allmighties not three Eternalls but one Lord one God one All mighty and one Eternall Eternall What 's that The text saith which was not as if hee had beene but is not therfore it is added which is yet not so is as if hee should be no more therfore it is farther added and is to come Surely hee that was without beginning which is immutable and which shall be the judg both of the quick and the dead even the same God was is and shall be Holy in his essency Lord in his dominion God in his excellency Allmighty in his power and Eternall in all When I reade these deepe mysteries of my God ô how I am divided mee think's in my selfe How doe I varie in my thoughts and meditations The singing of those heavenly beasts make's mee rejoyce but their song it selfe drive's mee into a sadnesse for they tell mee that holinesse and righteousnesse and glory and power and eternitie is the very nature of God in none whereof I can find my selfe to be like unto him Lord I wish that I were with the beasts upon the throne that I might be a litle more cheerfull then I am here at the foote stoole But alasse my wishes cannot be purchases for none can come to God but those alone who are like unto God 1 Cor. 29. Before I can come to sitt upon that throne I must certainly be holy for hee is holy I must be righteous for hee is righteous and then though I shall not have such power nor glory as hee hath yet I shall have my share I shall have my proportion I shall have such power to magnifie my God as that nothing shall be able either to oppose or divert mee I shall have such glory as neither eye hath seene 1 Pet. 1 15. nor eare hath heard nor yet can enter into the heart of man to conceave yea and I shall have eternitie too for though I cannot be sayd to be perfectly eternall because I had a beginning yet I shall be certainly eternall in that I shall have noe end But how shall I gaine this holinesse that I may come to that eternitie Surely I must looke upon the three distinctions or parts of time and if I consider them as limitted I must find my selfe in them if as unlimitted I must find my God in them For God is not so sayd which was which is and which is to come as if this description did any way come neere a full expression of his eternitie but rather submitt's as it were onely to our capacitie that so by this I may partly conjecture at what I cannot yet possibly comprehend Noe time can properly be asscribed unto God for each part thereof hath a bound and limitation which God can not have The time past is gone allready from us the time present is goeing and the time to come is not yet ours But when wee say God was wee intimate his perfection in being without a beginning of being When wee say God is wee expresse his vigour and readinesse and power to effect his purposes and when wee say God shall be wee undoubtedly acknowledg and confesse his perpetuitie The time was when I was not and I againe shall be when time shall not I shall be indeede but where shall I be Eternitie hath but two mansions heaven hell If I doe not take heede I may be tormented for ever Lord how I tremble at the thought of it
because I cannot number my sinnes Is 30.20 I will eate the bread of sorrow and I will drinke the water of contrition and affliction if I live to eate drinke any more See see how voluntarily these forward teares falling all-ready from mine eyes present themselves to my lipps steale into the corners privately as it were instructing mee that they are the wine which befitt's a sinner Lord let mee not live if I doe not love to grieve and grieve most affectionately for my hainous offences for those offences of mine which so scourged my Redeemer that they fetch'd the very blood from his sacred body O my God make mee thus to passe away my time if any more time shall be mine and then I know that thou wilt wiâ—e these teares from mine eyes Is 25.8 and number mee with those few Mat 7.13.14 which shall enter in at the strait gate But what a tedious life in the meane while shall I leade if I doe nothing but weepe and cry and mourne out my life Better be out of the world then to take noe pleasure in the world Must I droope away my youth and strength while I am here and then drop away into my grave and so be forgotten Yes I must If I will have my heaven hereafter I must have my hell here I cannot bee without my hell of sinne here for the devill is allways with mee in his temptations and why should I not desire rather to have my hell of punishment here then hereafter It will be wisedome to endure a light affliction upon earth rather them eternall flames with the damned It will be good policie to forbeare the vaine and fruitlesse joyes upon earth that I may have joyes unspeakeable and endlesse in heaven This life will not continue allways I shall not allways live here in the bitternesse of this anguish and teares There will come a time when I shall have beauty for ashes Is 61.3 the garment of gladnesse for the spirit of heavinesse when I shall have comfort and joy and that joy shall noe man take away from mee Io 16.22 Ps 126.6 If I now goe on my way weeping bearing pretious seede I shall doubtlesse come againe with rejoycing bringing my sheaves with mee But when will that time come Will it not be long first I am contented to weepe for my sinns but mee think's I am not willing to weepe too long O my soule doe but consider with thy selfe that all thy life is not long enough if al of it were spent in teares to satisfie my God for the smallest of mine offences They are infinite in number and hee is infinite whom they displease Yet through the merits of him Lu 19.41 who wept over Ierusalem my teares shall be accepted and my sinnes be forgiven I shall not thinke my time of sorrow long or tedious if I doe but hearken to the Angel which Saint Iohn saw standing upon the sea and upon the earth Reu 10 5. who lifted up his hand to heaven vers 6â— And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever who created heaven and the thines that therein are and the earth and the things that therein are and the sea and the things that are there in that there should be time noe longer This will come to passe and I am sure that it cannot be long first Let mee but have a litle patience let mee possesse my soule in patience but a litle while Lu 21.19 Heb 10 37. and hee that shall come will come and hee will not tarry O my God either lend mee noe more minuits or howsoëver let mee have noe more sinne But if I must of necessitie sinne so long as I shall live give mee true repentance as often as I sinne or if that bee a taske too full of difficultie for a woman to performe by reason of the weakenesse of the sexe and the frailtie of the flesh yet give mee such repentance as may be both true and timely and acceptable Lord I desire not to live any longer unlesse I might live without offending thy gratious Majestie What time soever thou shalt allott mee hereafter it shall be more then I will expect lest it should wickedly entice mee to deferre my repentance Yet if it be thy pleasure to adde unto my dayes let it be thy pleasure likewise to adde unto my repentance Make mee thy child by grace and then I shall pant with David and thirst with David and cry Ps 42.2 Reu. 22 20. with David O when shall I come and appeare before thee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and come Lord Iesus come quickly The Prayer Ancient of dayes Dan. 7.9 Reu. 4.8 whose garment is white as snow and the haire of whose head is like the pure wooll thou which wert and art and art to come Lord God All mighty have mercy upon mee the meanest and the unworthiest of all thy creatures Mercy o Lord I begge for the wicked and most sinfull losse of my pretious time O Lord forgive whatsoëver I have done amisse pardon ô father whatsoëver I have offended in This or none must be my time of sorrow Lord graunt that I may weepe and grieve mourne for my former sinfull life It is thy custome ô God it is thy promise Ps 50.15 Neh. 9.27 to hearken unto those who are in distresse When the Israelites cryed thou deliveredst them from the hand of their enemies in their troubles when they cryed unto thee thou heardest them from heaven My sinnes are mine enemies and farre more cruell then were the enemies of Israel Lord be thou as gratious now unto mee in this time of my trouble as thou wert then unto thy people heare mee from heaven and forgive mee the wickednesse of my misse-led life Is 33.2 I wayte for thee ô my God be thou mine arme every morning and my salvation in this time of spirituall sorrow Forgive mee the losse of the time allready past accept of my repentance at this time which is present and so protect guide and blesse mee that what time soever shall be to come I may wholly dedicate it to thee the donour Ps 20.12 1. Pet. 1.17 Eph. 5.16 Rom. 13.11 Gal. 6.10 Io 9.4 Teach mee so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome Make mee to passe the time of my sojourning here in feare redeeming the time because the dayes are evill and considering that it is now high time for mee to awake out of the sleepe of securitie Graunt that as I have opportunitie I may doe good unto all but especially to the house-hould of faith The night cometh when none can worke Lord doe thou draw mee Heb. 12 1. that I may follow after thee that so I may runne with patience the race which is set before mee vers 2. looking unto thee my Iesus the author and finisher of my faith Make mee to watch and attend thy coming ô
Christ with the wise virgins Mat 25 10. having oyle in my lampe that so when thou comest for mee I may be ready for thee and then for thine owne sake ô God Rev. 19 9. admitt mee to the blessed supper of the Lamb for thy promise sake receave mee to mercy and bring mee to thine eternall Kingdome for Iesus sake my onely Lord Saviour Amen THE FOURTH SUBjECT Teares in the night The Soliloquie Divided into three parts fitted for the time 1 Immediately before goeing to bed 2 Of lying downe in the bed 3 Of awaking in the night The First part Immediately before goeing to bed THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray IT was a pious resolution of holy David Ps 132.3 that hee would not come into the tabernacle of his house nor goe up into his bed vers 4. Hee would not give sleepe to his eyes nor slumber to his eye-lids untill hee had found out a place for the Lord vers 5. an habitation for the mighty God of Iacob A resolution well besitting mee too though hee was a King and I am but the meanest the lowest of the daughters of Abraham The day hath bid fare-well and is layed to sleepe in the evening and the darknesse of the evening inviteth mee both by custome and by a debt which I owe unto my wearied limbs to prepare for rest But shee who sleepes not in God rest's not at all To him therfore will I addresse my selfe that I may be the fitter to un-dresse my selfe and repaire to the place of my sweete repose But how shall I goe to him Where shall I find him 'T is too late to seeke him in the Temple and I have not the meanes which David had to build him one whensoëver I please But this shall not much trouble mee I must not be so superstitious as to thinke that God is confined onely to the materiall Temple nor may I be so prophane as to neglect that place at fitt opportunities which is sett apart for his service I will have a reverend and due esteeme of those sacred places dedicated wholly to the service of my God but I must be carefull to avoyd both superstition and prophanenesse When I goe into them I must put off my shooes from my feete as Moses was commanded by the Lord himselfe Ex. 3.5 for the place whereon hee stood was holy ground Deu 25 9. His shooes were to be put off as resigning his right unto God as mourning and humbling himselfe before God Eze 24 27. Is 20 2 4. 2. Sam. 15.30 Mat 21 13. putting off all uncleanesse and earthinesse as hee did those shooes So must I too when I goe unto that house of prayer I must in all humilitie resigne up my selfe to my maker that I may honour him with my service But must I not Ought I not at all times and in all places to doe the same Ought I not to pray every where Yes doubtlesse Gen. 28 18.19 this is my duety In the field I must build him a Bethel with the Patriarch Iacob and there must I pray Io. 18. â— In the garden I must follow my blessed Redeemer and pray where hee prayed who satisfied his father for the transgression of Adam committed in the garden In my chamber I must imitate the prophet Daniel Dan. 6.10 Reu. 3.12 and my windowes mine eyes being open toward Ierusalem the new Ierusalem the vision of peace I must kneele upon my knees and pray and give thanks before my God In my bed I must pray with sicke Hezekiah 2. King 20.2 who turned his face to the wall and prayed unto the Lord. Thus in the field in the garden in my chamber in my bed I must pray in every place upon every opportunity This is Saint Paul's command that wee pray every where 1. Tim. 2.8 lifting up holy hands This is the exhortation of the Psalmist Blesse the Lord in all places of his dominion Ps 103.22 1. Cor. 1.2 And Saint Paul sendeth salutations to all that in every place call upon the name of Iesus Christ our Lord both theirs says hee and ours This then I must doe likewise else though my bed be ready for mee yet I shall not be ready for my bed for though that be made I may be undone I must not thinke to be refreshed by the elder brother of death and forget the younger I know nothing to the contrarie but that my bed may be my grave in which like unto the Princes of Babylon and het wisemen her Captaines and her rulers and her mighty men I may sleepe a perpetuall sleepe Ier 51.57 and not awake I will therfore embalme my selfe with my teares while I am yet alive before I climb up into my bed which may prove my grave I will dye with ease if dye I must or I will sleepe in quiett if sleepe I may for either whereof or for both I will fitt and prepare myselfe by a sorrow for mine offences I will un-dresse my soule and dis-robe her of all the new but filthy attire of sinne which this day shee hath put on away will I throw those polluted clothes hoping they shall never be worne againe I will un-brace I will open my bosome and there will I find the lurking iniquities which slunke in by day and when I have found them away they shall trice they shall be gone for I must keepe noe roome for such treacherous guests The Sunn is set as if mee think's it were ashamed to behould the follies which this day I committed The flattering darkenesse seemes to offer mee a mantle to hide mine enormities and a worse darknesse then this even that of ignorance would rake them up in silence But this must not be endured for if I winke with mine eyes that I might not see my follies I must not imagine that my willfull darknesse can vayle the eyes of my all-seeing God The eyes of the Lord are in every place Prov. 15.3 behoulding the evill and the good Thus God will doubtlesse see mine imperfections but so must I too and for them I must weepe 'till I can see â—oe more I must view them with a mistie drizeling dropping eye with sadnesse sorrow lest hee behould them with an eye of anger revenge They must be seene by mee and be bewayled by mee in sadnesse they must or else I shall never see my God with joy rejoycing I will therfore sitt downe and consider with my selfe and examine my selfe how I have spent the day before I betake my selfe to the rest of the night I will examine my conscience by certaine Quaere's make it render mee answers to these demaunds 1. At what time in the morning did I arise from my bed 2. What first did I 3. How devoutly
to destroy 〈◊〉 if I but turne it upside downe so my meats â—nd my drinkes are apt to destroy mee with â—loying with surfeits Without this artificiall brightnesse mine eye cannot fixe it selfe upon any object or distinguish of colours and yet what is this to the light of the Sunne or that â—o the brightnesse of my God Lord what an â—ncouth thing it is to be in darknesse Yet thus â—ny God if hee had so decreed might all-ways ways have punished mee have taken from â—nee the sight of mine eyes Thus yea much worse then thus may hee justly be revenged on mee too and for my deedes of darknesse hee may throw mee into utter darknesse where â—hall be weeping and gnashing of teeth Mat 8.12 1. Sam. 28.8 Surely Saul did not know this power of God or hee did not remember it when hee disguised himselfe and put on other raiment and went hee â—nd two men with him and came to the witch of Endor by night and prayed her to divine unto him by the familiar Spirit and bring up Samuel againe to answer his demaunds O that Spirit is the Devill and that Devill is too familiar and yet how apt am I with Saul rather to consult with him and to follow his suggestions then to apply my selfe to the oracles of my God! This present night for ought that I know may be as sad dismall to mee as that was to the Egyptians when Pharach rose up in the night Ex 12.30 hee and all his servants and all the Egyptians and there was a greate cry in Egypt for there was not a house where there was not one dead But to prevent the feare of such a horrid judgment I will sue for compassion and beg of my God that insteed of destroying mee or any of this house with a sudden destruction hee will this night rather not onely slay my first borne mine originall sinne but allso all the abortive issue of mine actuall transgressions And though the cry be greate because my sinfull selfe am unwilling to leave them or they mee yet I will pray that the destroying Angel may come and destroy them that so my selfe my poore soule may be preserved alive Such a destruction as this would be my best preservation and such a slaughter would purchase my rejoycing These sinnes are mine enemies and those enemies whose ruine and subversion I am bound to pray for I will therfore humbly beseech my powerfull preserver to slay them to cutt them off speedily presently without any longer delay And that my prayers may be more effectuall they shall joyne with my teares in my humblest supplication for a freedome from these eneâ—ies I will imitate David Ps 42.3 and my teares shall be my meate day and night It is but â—ustice that these eyes which have wandered â—…fter enticing objects should be punished with the smart of brinish teares With such weeping eyes will I behould mine offences and on them will I looke as now I doe upon â—his burning Light that so like unto this â—hey may appeare glaring and multiplyed even greater by farre through the clowdines of mine eyes then otherwise I should view â—hem The eye is commonly a teacher of merâ—y for when it is fixed on an object full of disâ—resse it presently invite's the heart to compassion The eye of my God is never shutt never weary of pittying allthough both mine eyes and my compassion allso are seldome open Therfore mine eye shall weepe and when I weepe his eye will pittie My heart shall sigh and his heart will commiserate My whole selfe shall wholly offer up it selfe to him in my devotions and then I am assured hee will embrace mee in his armes and watch over mee by his protection I will weepe for my sinnes I will grieve for the offences of the day that is past and weeping grieving I will addresse my selfe to the keeper of Israel Ps 121.4 who neither slumbereth nor sleepeth thus I will say The Evening prayer OMniscient God who hast seene the offences which this day hath produced and for them mightest justly throw mee into the land of darknesse Vouchsafe I besiecâ— thee to behould the teares of a repenting prodigall The sinnes which I have committed I cannot number nor can I vallew thy mercies in forbearing mee so grievous an offendour The day is gone and the evening has teneth mee to my desired sleepe Lord leâ— it be thy pleasure to bury my sinnes in thâ— darknesse of oblivion and make mee afraid and ashamed to commit them any more by the light of the Sunne Let thy Christ shine iâ— my heart and warme my cold and chillâ—wed devotion that with fervency and zeale I may ever addresse my prayers unto thee O let 〈…〉 settforth before thee as incensâ— and the 〈◊〉 â—f my hands be an evening sacrifice Ps 74.16 The 〈◊〉 ô Lord is thine and the night is likewise thine doe thou take mee this night Ps 91.5 vers 6. into thy holy protection Let mâ— not be afraid for the terroâ— by night nor for thâ— pestilence that walketh iâ—…arknesse O thoâ— that hast made the Moonâ—… and the Starres tâ— governe the night Ps 136 9. shine mercifully into mâ— darke and polluted conscience and reveaâ—… unto mee all the errours of my life that aâ— the gate of thy mercy I may begge for remision The Levites did thanke 1. Chr. 23 30. and praise thee â—s well at evening as in the morning Lord â—hough I am weake though I am unworthy â—et so well as I can so well as thou art pleaâ—ed to enable thee thereto I praise and â—lesse thy glorious name for all thy mercies which thou hast shewed unto mee and in â—articular for thy protection this day which â—s past One Lamb by thine appointment Ex 29.39 â—…as to be offered at evening day by day by thy â—hildren of Israel My soule ô Lord should â—e that Lamb and my selfe an Israelite but â—…y soule is blemished I my selfe am rebelâ—…ous To thee therfore doe I offer not my â—olluted soule as it is full of uncleanesse but â—ather that innocent Lamb of thee my God â—…hich taketh away the sinnes of the world most â—umbly besieching thee to hearken unto him â—…terceding for mee and by his death and â—assion to graunt mee pardon for mine offenâ—es First seale unto my soule the remission â—f my sinnes and then let mee sleepe and â—est in thee Refresh my wearied limbs with â— comfortable repose and graunt that I â—…ay neither offend thee by dreames and fanâ—asies nor displease thee with excessive and â—mmoderate sleepe Preserve mee from the â—angers of fire stormes tempests theeves â—nd whatsoëver else may hurt my person or â—state All is thine doe thoâ—… be the keeper â—nd protectour of all Thou hast promised by thy Prophet that the righteous shall enteâ— into peace Is 57.2 and rest in their beds Gratiouâ— father cover mee with the righteousnesse oâ— Christ thy Sonne and graunt mee
the hatred wherewith hee hated her was greater then the love wherewith hee hath loved her Have not I beene sick with Amnon too Have not I longed and pined and lingered after unlawfull pleasures and wicked delights What though they grew not into the height of incest or adulterie of the body My poore soule that was a virgin hath beene ravished hath beene deflowred with delusions and at length hath beene conquered by the violence of the tempter O my God doe thou be pleased to put such an enmitie hereafter betweene the tempter and the sinner that my soule may hence forward abhorre those suggestions as the sated ravisher did his sister that the hatred wherewith shee shall hate them may be greater then the love wherewith shee hath loved them Such a bed as this or at least thus designed for a nest of repose did Ahab lay him downe upon and turned away his face 1. King 21.4 and would eate noe bread when hee was come into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Iezreelite had spoken unto him for hee had sayd I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers Here was trouble and discontent and presently tossing and tumbling upon the bed and all because a poore subject would not sell his litle vineyard to the greate King All this was but for a litle spott of ground so small that it was not so much as a graine of the finest sand to the mountaine of Ararat in comparison of this globe and fabrick of the earth But I might have a Kingdome greater then the world above the world which I should not buy but onely begge upon my humble suite it would be freely given mee and yet though hithexto I have neglected it I throw not my selfe upon my bed in a sad and pensive discontent because I have beene backward in sieking and petitioning for it But in steed of thus lying on my bed into it I goe and in it I lye downe where I rather choose to sleepe away the thought of it then in a holy ambition contrive the way to be possessed there of Such a bed as this did the harlot speake of when shee enticed her lover Pro 7.16 saying I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestrie with carved worke vers 17 with fine linnen of Egypt I have perfumed my bed with myrrhe aloes and cynamon vers 18 Come let us take our fill of love untill the morning let us sollace our selves with love O what enticements were there to wickedness What provocations to uncleanesse Richer were the coverings of the harlot's bed and much more vallewable then was the person of the owner Those perfumes were ordained more for necessity then delight and yet the stinke of her wickednesse out-vyed the fragrancy of the myrrhe and the cynamon How mee thinks doe I or at least should I loath the impudency of such a tempting adulteresse What a staine is a harlot to our fraile sexe when shee whose beauty should be discovered by the modesty of a blush doe's shamefully importune her lover to uncleanes And yet such a one might I have beene too had not the grace of my preserver made mee detest the offence Even to such folly was I prone by nature but from it am I withdrawne by the mercy of my God The adulteresse Iezabel had made such use of the place of repose just it was therfore that the Lord should cast her into a bed Reu. 2.22 and them that committed adulterie with her into greate tribulation except they would repent them of their deedes The bed may be a place for punâ—shment as well as for ease and those who defile it with uncleanesse may looke to be a burden unto it and it unto them in their diseases It is but justice that sinne should be punished in the very place where 't is committed Let mee therfore examine my selfe and if God in mercy hath preserved mee from the pollution let mee try if yet there lurke not an intent in the thought Yet here I must not stay I must consider with my selfe that there is a spirituall fornication too as well as a corporall and that idolatrie is a spirituall adulterie Thus upon a loftie Is 57.7 and high mountaine had Iudah sett her bed and thither went shee up to offer sacrifice Thus the Babylonians came to idolatrous Aholibah into the bed of love Eze. 23 17. and they defiled her with their whoredome and shee was polluted with them If I am free from this adulterie I must blesse the Lord my God the jealous God Ex 20.3 who sayd in his commandement Thou shalt have none other Gods but mee If I have beene guilty I will besiech him with my teares to remitt mine offences and through his grace to preserve mee from a future relapse On such a bed as this doth the wicked usually devise his mischiefe Ps 36.4 when hee setteth himselfe in noe good way nor abhorreth that which is evill Against such did the prophet cry out and say Mich. 2 â— Woe unto them that devise iniquity worke evill upon their beds when the morning is light they practise it because it is in the power of their hands From this I feare I have not beene free for have noe wicked purposes have noe sinfull devices beene forged ben contrived in my bed When my meditations should have beene fixed and fastened upon my God have I never entertained the suggestions of the Devill Have I never prided my selfe in the richnesse of the ornaments of my chamber and my bed In the coverings of the walls the curious hangings In the deckings of the bed the curtaines and vallences Have not my desires beene wandering after the furniture of a King Ect. 1.6 even King Ahasuerus who had white and greene and blew hangings fastened with cords of fine linnen and purple to silver rings and pillars of marble Have I not wished for his beds of gold and silver upon a pavement of red and blew and white and black marble Or hath not my bed beene the bed of wantonnesse or immoderate ease Have I not beene like unto those against whom the Prophet pronounceth the woe saying Amos. 6.1 vers 4. Woe unto them that are at ease in Sion That lye upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches and eate the lambes out of the flock and the calves out of the midest of the stall I must not be too indulgent to my selfe Too much selfelove may prove my destruction The sinnes which I am guilty of must not be denyed neither may they lye drie with mee in my bed O noe Therfore lest I sleepe too much or they have rest too much or the devill entertainment too much that uncleane spirit Mat 12.43 whose custome it is in drie places to sieke his rest I am resolved with David Ps 6.6 that every night I will make my bed to swimme and will water my
eate the bread of sorrowes for so wee give our beloved sleepe and why then should I delight in vanitie Prov. 6 10. Yet a litle sleepe therfore a litle slumber a litle folding of the hands to sleepe But hearke What 's that Mee think's I heare some-body call and say How long wilt thou sleepe vers 9. ô sluggard When wilt thou arise out of thy sleepe Yes I did heare some-body call so indeede It was none other but God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon Even the same who telleth mee that If I doe not arise vers 11 then shall povertie come upon mee as one that travaileth and my want as an armed man c. 20.13 I must not love sleepe therfore lest I come to povertie but I must open mine eyes and I shall be satisfied with bread Well then I 'le rubb mine eyes and rowze up my selfe and bethinke my selfe of my businesse but first I will thinke upon the first upon the best upon God I have reason to give him the first the chiefest roome in my meditations because I layd mee downe and slept Ps 3.5 and againe I am now awaked and all this through the mercy and goodnesse of the Lord who sustained mee Hee preserved mee who neither slumbereth Ps 121.4 Ps 44.23 nor sleepeth allthough David cryeth out to him and saith Awake why sleepest thou ô Lord Arise cast us not off for ever But this was onely through the fervencie of his devotion in a time of severe persecution and affliction for at another time it was hee himselfe who confessed Ps 111.4 that Hee which keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleepe Surely hee may more properly call out from heaven to mee then David upon earth did to him in heaven and say Awake why sleepest thou Yea so indeede hee doeth promiseth mee and offereth mee the morning starre to light mee But it is upon condition that I must first overcome Overcome What Must I overcome my sleepe That I have done Must I over-come mine enemies Those I am commanded to love Mat. 5.44 Yet I must over-come mine enemies my sinnes and I must allso over-come my selfe Ps 18.28 the sinner and then I am sure hee will light my candle as hee did Davids The Lord my God will inlighten my darknesse hee will give mee comfort joy and prosperitie after my trouble Nay a candle shall not serve my turne hee hath promised to give mee a starre the morning starre which shall both enlighten my soule with the brightnesse of divine knowledg in this morning of a happinesse begunne and allso enlighten mee hereafter in the morning of the generall re-surrection when my body shall be glorified together with my soule I shall shine as the starres for ever and ever Dan. 12 3. Hee will give mee the morning starre to enlighten mee not to torment mee The prince of darknesse was once an Angel of light and then even hee was a morning stame but now I may say with the Prophet Is 14.12 verf. 13 How art thou fallen from heaven ô Lutifier sonne of the morning How art thou cutt dowme to the ground which saydest in thine heart I will exalt my throne above the starres of God! This starre I hope hee will not suffer to deceave mee with his false and deluding light for his glaring is but a counterfeit light and his leading tend's to the burning brimstone Noe hee will give mee a better starre even him who came to be a light to lighten the Gentiles Lu. 2.32 and to be the glorie of the people Israel even the Prophet of the highest C. 1.76 Vers 79 who giveth light to them that sâ—tt in darknesse and in the shadow of death And who is that but hee which professeth himselfe to be the roote Reu. 22 16. and the off-spring of David and the bright and the morning starre Hee himselfe hath shewed mee what I should doe hee hath taught mee by his owne example what dueties I should performe for I find it recorded of him that In the morning Mar. 1.35 rising up early a greate while before day hee went out and departed into a solitarie place and prayed So should I doe too I should doe so now for it is now about the same time or at most it differeth not much I will therfore arise I will arise out of my sinnes by his blessing I will arise out of them before day even before the day of the Lord cometh 2. Pet. 3 10. and I will goe out of them or force them out of mee I will depart from them into a solitarie place and retire to my meditations and be both solitarie and sorrowfull for all the offences which I have committed and then I will pray I will pray for forgivenesse through the meritts of him who prayed so early Or if I am too weake to master my selfe in this holy resolution I will besiech him that I may be as Simon Mar 1.36 and those that were with him that I may at leastwise follow after him Surely hee can so illuminate my thoughts that I may see thereby to performe my duety It was that morning starre which enlightened David and made him take up that holy resolution Ps 5.3 saying My voyce shalt thou heare in the morning ô Lord in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee and will locke up It was hee who enlightened him to put in practise that very resolution for hee himselfe testifieth of himselfe Ps 130.6 saying My soule wayteth for the Lord more then they that watch for the morning I say more then they that watch for the morning It was that morning starre which enlightened the people Luc 21 â—8 that they might all see to come to him early into the temple to heare him Ps 119 147. It was that morning starre againe which enlightened David when hee prevented the dawning of the morning and cryed when hee hoped in his word It was that morning starre which gave light unto Ioshua and the people Ios 6.15 vers 20 when they compassed Iericho on the seaventh day early about the dawning of the day seaven times after which the wall fell downe flatt so that the people went up into the citty every one straite before him and tooke the citty So will I wayte for him so will I prevent the dawning of the morning so will I direct my prayer unto him so will I heare him in his temple and so will I encompasse Iericho about the dawning of the day the citty of Satan the â—trong hold of the Serpent even mine owne â—icked and corrupted heart which hath so â—ong stood out against my God and I will never leave compassing it with my teares and my sighes and my pensive and sorrowfull thoughts untill the wall fall downe untill the stonie rampard thereof yeeld unto the commandements of my Lord and my maker But on the contrarie certainly that morning starre
Lu 15.14 vers 16 I am brought into want and faine would fill my belly even with the huskes that swine doe eate but noe man giveth them unto mee vers 17. Though I know that many hired servants have bread enough and to spare and yet I am ready to perish with hunger Though thus I know my miserie yet I skarce remember the cause But I will begg of my heavenly father vers 17 that I may come unto my selfe and then that my selfe may come unto him I know that hee is angry and his wrath is terrible but if I absent my selfe his displeasure will increase The longer I strive to keepe out of his sight the more will be his severitie and the more grievous my punishment vers 18 I will therfore arise and goe to my father and say unto him Father I have sinned against heaven vers 19 and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants Iob 42.6 Ps 102.9 Ps 80.5 I will abhorre my selfe in dust and ashes As David did so will I I will eate ashes as it were bread and I will have plenteousnesse of teares to drinke I will mourne for my sinnes which have caused this judgment and with my teares in mine eyes compunction in my heart and humilitie in my soule I will fall on my knees before his footestoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl-mighty and all-sufficient Lord God who by thy power diddest lay the foundations of the world and by thy providence doest guide protect the things therein conteined be pleased to looke upon the sorrowes and sufferances of thy distressed servant Thou knowest my wants before I aske and seest how low I am brought with hunger The inferiour creatures thou fillest with plenty but mee thou sufferest to pine with famine Shall not the cryes of the hungrie pierce thine eares Shall the soule of the emptie be despised by it's maker Heare Lord Ps 30.10 and have mercy ô be thou my helper Thou knowest how I groane under the burden of this affliction and wilt thou allways know it and never remove it where are thy mercies which thou shewedst to thine Israelites Where is they goodnesse which was manifested to he widdow of Sarepta Thou canst not decrease in thy mercies nor forget thy compassion The stomack crye's and the belly cryes and a poore languishing soule cryes unto thee ô Lord in the depth of distresse O my father shut not up thy mercifull eares to my prayers but heare mee in heaven and succour mee with thy reliefe Thy store will not be lessened nor thy treasure diminished by sparing to mee a morsell of bread Lord if it may stand with thy good will preserve mee from death and deliver mee from this famine or else arme mee with patience that I may under-goe thy chastisement with comfort and content O thou Saviour of the world to whom the cursed Iewes gave gall to eate Ps 69.21 and when thou wert thirstie even vineger to drinke doe thou ease my griefe and hearken to my complaint Thou in thy humanitie diddest seele the wants of these out-ward things and knowest what griefe and anguish I suffer To Samaria thou sentest plenty beyond expectation 2. King 7.18 in the space of a night Thou art neither confined to time nor tyed to the meanes thou canst send mee comfort even above my hopes Lord either send mee plenty or blesse my want that so I may willingly submitt to thy pleasure and patiently suffer what thou hast decreed Though my body languish for want of sustenance yet fill thou my soule with the riches of thy goodnesse Amos. 8.11 2. Chr. 15.3 O let mee never be cursed with a famine of thy word Let mee never be as once the Israëlites were without thee the true God without a teaching Priest and without law Howsoëver thou disposest of the outward man let not my soule want it's spirituall nourishment whereby it should be fed to a life immortall It was thy meate ô Christ Io 4.34 to doe the will of him that sent thee and to finish his worke Graunt ô Iesus that I may follow thy stepps and make it my foode and my delight to fullfill thy commandements Let mee not labour here for the meate that perisheth c. 6.27 so much as for that meate which endureth to everlasting life My body is thine dispose of it as thou pleasest My soule is thine preserve it in holinesse Lord be gratious to mee thy child Gen. 43 29. and comfort mee now in this greate extreamitie that so I may neither offend thee in my sufferance nor despaire of thy providence but that wholly relying upon thy gratious goodnesse I may suffer with thankfullnesse whatsoëver thou pleasest and then that my sufferances may end in happinesse Heare mee blessed God and help mee for the worthinesse of thy Sonne in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen THE THIRD SOLILOQUIE Treating of thirst both bodily and ghostly THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe Prophet bewayling the distressed estate of afflicted Sion complainth thus Lam. 4.4 The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roofe of his mouth for thirst the young children aske bread and noe man breaketh it unto them They that did feede delicately are desolate in the streetes vers 5. they that were brought up in scarlet embrace the dunghills Grievous was that miserie the infants endured who neither knew how to complaine nor where to be satisfied Their tongues which in time might relate the storie were scorched with the drought and heate of thrist Those litle members which as yet were not un ruely found a punishment as if they had offended The mothers lamenting the torments of the young ones offered them drinke from the fountaines of their eyes but so un-able was that offering to please the innocents that their thirst increased by that which should quench it Surely the miserie was greate which the babes could not utter since mine is so severe that I thinke it ineffable The more I complaine the more thirstie I am for the motion of the tongue increaseth the drought Iam. 3.6 The tongne that is un-ruely is set on fire of hell but mine is silent and yet it scorcheth That litle moisture which is left in my mouth is growne so glutenous
that it bindeth my tongue to an un-willing silence My body burneth Ps 69.3 Ps 137 6. my throate is dryed my tongue cleaveth to the roofe of my mouth ô I burne I frie and know not where to be releived Did the drunkards who are mighty to powre in wine Is 5.22 and those who are men of strength to mingle strong drinke but know the miserie which I endure they would spare from their excesse as much as would comfort mee For their owne sakes they would spare the abuse of that creature for want whereof I now complaine Hab 2.15 The Prophet pronounceth a woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drinke that putteth his bottell to him maketh him drunken allso that hee may looke on his nakednesse But I doe cry woe unto my selfe because I have noe neighbour to give mee drinke Here is none that putteth his bottell to my mouth It is not the gust of the wine nor the strength of the drinke nor the pleasantnesse of the liquour that I doe covet The limpid water would be better then wine yea the springs or the fountaines would make mee rejoyce But where ô where are those pleasant potions Where are those snakie rivers which curle and wind themselves in their sporting wreaths Alasse alasse I aske noe more then what beggars disdaine and yet my desires are not fullfilled Mine eyes doe lament the greatnesse of my sinnes and my charitable teares doe wooe mee to give them rest in my mouth as if repentance in this had taught them mercy But when I thankfully accept their friendly courtesie insteed of comforters they become my tormentours These brackish rivelets may refresh my soule but they can never cure the thirst of my body Mee think's they are some-what like the wife of Heber who entertained Sisera in a friendly manner as hee did imagine for shee covered him in her tent Iud 4.18 vers 19 and when hee said unto her Give mee I pray thee a litle water to drinke for I am thirstie Shee opened a bottell of milke and gave him drinke and covered him But when hee committed his wearied limbes to a sweete repose vers 21 shee tooke a naile of the tent and tooke a hammer in her hand and went softly to him and smote the naile into his temples fastened it into the ground and hee dyed Thus my teares doe offer mee reliefe and like unto Iaël they offer mee milke instead of water but with their saltnesse they increase my drought and fasten mee to the ground in my burning flames Yet Ps 42.5 why art thou so cast downe ô my soule and why art thou so disquieted within mee Hope thou in thy God vers 7. for I will yet praise him who shall be the helpe of my countenance and my God Ps 43.5 All his waves and stormes doe goe over mee and yet I cry for water in the middest of the waves I cry and by my cryes I increase my miserie yet cry I must I am enforced to it by my fires by my drought and yet hope I will too even in my God will I hope for I am invited unto it by his mercy Hee promised to his servants by the mouth of his Prophet saying Is 41.17 When the poore and needie sieke water and there is none their tongue faileth for thirst I the Lord will heare them I the God of Israël will not forsake them I will open rivers in high places and fountaines in the middest of the valleys vers 18 I will make the wildernesse a poole of water the drie land springs of waters Now ô my God is the time that I looke for the fullfilling of this promise for water I sieke but none I find I am poore needie my very tongue faileth for thirst and upon thee therfore doe I call I am sure that my God cannot promise more then hee can nor will hee promise more then hee will performe Time was when the Israëlites pitching in Rephidim Ex 17.1 vers 2. there was noe water for the people to drinke Wherfore the people did chide with Moses and said Give us water that wee may drinke And Moses said unto them Why chide yee with mee Wherfore doe yee tempt the Lord vers 3. And the people thirsted there for water and the people murmured against Moses and said Wherfore is this that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt to kill us and our children vers 5. and our cattell with thirst And the Lord said unto Moses Goe on before the people and take with thee of the Elders of Israël and thy rod wherwith thou smotest the river take in thine hand and goe Behould I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb vers 6. and thou shalt smite the rock and there shall come water out of it that the people may drinke And Moses did so in the sight of the children of Israël Thus I thirst as did the Israëlites but I will not murmure as did the Israëlites because the God of Israël is my God I may not displease him with repining at my sufferings lest with his rod hee smite mee as did Moses the stone All that I can hope for must come by my prayers and my patience through the merits of my saviour It is not Meribah or Massah my temptation vers 7. or my chiding that will prevaile for my comfort Hee may give mee water and then punish mee with fire O what doe those damned soules in the infernall flames suffer Lu 16.24 where Dives begged of Abraham to have mercy on him and to send Lazarus that hee might dippe though but the tippe of his finger in water and coole his tongue because hee was tormented in the flames If I compare my sufferings with my desert I shall the easier endure this gentle fire This cannot be comparable to the fire of hell and that I have deserved yet suffer but this The mercifull Lord so sanctify this sufferance that the fire which I merit may be extinguished by my teares assisted with the blood of the Lamb un-spotted and then I shall rejoyce in this chastisement At Kadesh once in the wildernesse of Zin there was noe water for the congregation Num 20.2 vers 7. vers 8. and they gathered themselves together against Moses and against Aaron And the Lord spake unto Moses saying Take the rod and gather thou the assembly together thou and Aaron thy brother and speake yee unto the rock before their eyes and it shall give forth it's water and thou shalt bring forth water to them out of the rock so thou shalt give the congregation and their beastes drinke vers 9. vers 10 And Moses tooke the rod from before the Lord as hee commanded him And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock and hee said unto them Heare now yee rebells must wee fetch you water out of the rock vers 11
and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions when I begge of him but temporall blessings His blessings descend not unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition If they may stand with his pleasure In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires Barren Sarai was promised a sonne and Isaak was borne Gen. 21 2.3 Lu 1.7 vers 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22 vers 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres and Elizabeth was barren yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe God remembred Rachel and hearkened unto her and opened her wombe and shee conceaved and bare a sonne and sayd God hath taken away my reproach The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren Iud. 13.2 vers 3. vers 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her and sayd unto her Behold now thou art barren and bearest not but thou shalt conceave and beare a sonne And the woman bare a sonne called his name Samson and the child grew and the Lord blessed him 1. Sam. 1.10 Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret vers 6. vers 20 because the Lord had shut up her wombe and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel Thus may God if hee please looke upon my reproach and send mee a child which I may dedicate to his service I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout vers 15 I will weepe with her and I will fast with her and with her will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer and my sobbs and sighes may draw downe a blessing Ps 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly I will weepe and pray and mourne and pray and sigh and pray and praying I will say The Prayer HEeavenly King father of mercies Ps 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd 1. Sam. 1.11 O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd and remember mee and not forget thine hand-mayd but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit and out of the aboundance of my complaint vers 16 and griefe doe I pray unto thee Send mee I beseech thee a Samuël even such a child as I have asked of thee if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord and King that may bring honour unto thee and comfort unto thy petitioner I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires or arme mee with patience that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse Mat 4.28 and content The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart Act 5.4 to whom thou denyest the conception of a child Iam. 1.15 Let not lust conceave in mee lest it bring forth sinne and sinne when it is finished bring forth death Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree Mat 21 19. Gal 5.22 vers 23 Heb. 12 11. let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse since I am exercised therein so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen THE TWELFTH SUBjECT Teares of a child-bearing woman 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her deliverie I st Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 The cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a travelling woman 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell The first part of the Soliloquie treating of the cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my King and my God for unto the will I pray VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes hee forgot not the guilt of originall corruption therfore he professed saying Behold I was shapen in iniquitie vers 5. and in sinne did my mother conceave mee By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him That which is borne of the flesh is flesh Rom 7 17. Io. 3.6 as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall Rom 7 14. and sold under sinne This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments and sorrowes of the mother left women should forget the tast of the apple I will greatly multiply thy sorrow Gen 3.16 and thy conception sayd the Lord unto Eve in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children O this heavie chastisement doth now approach to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe Lord what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee and when I hope for ease by changing my seate or lying on my Couch or attempting to walke even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength and though I multiply my cryes yet mine anguish ceaseth not O what miserable perplexities are wee weake and sinfull women involved in Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted and allthough our tempers and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands
my whole life but to be freed from these calamities which beginne to fall on mee Ps 55.4 My heart is sore pained within mee and the terrours of death are fallen upon mee Fearefullnesse and trembling are come upon mee vers 5. and horrour hath allmost over whelmed mee I cannot forget how the wife of Phinehas the sonne of Eli being neere to be delivered 1. Sam 4. 19. when shee heard the sad tidings that the Arke of God was taken and that her husband and her father in law were dead shee bowed herselfe and travelled for her paines came upon her shee travelled was delivered and dyed I cannot forget how Rachel journeying from Bethel Gen 35 16. when there was but a litle way to come to Ephrath travelled and had hard labour And though when shee had hard labour the Mid wife sayd unto her vers 17 Feare not thou shalt have this sonne allso vers 18 and shee had her sonne and called him Ben-oni the soone of her sorrow but his father called him Benjamin the sonne of his right hand yet shee dyed The remembrance of these that dyed in child-birth increaseth my feares and addeth to mine affliction I am so dismayed betweene the pangs which I suffer and the suspition of death which possesseth my soule that I am I know not how divided and forlorne One while I resolve to submit to my God another while I suspect that I shall not possiblie endure the severity of my tortures My teares are many my pangs increase and double and treble themselves upon mee One O is not enough to cry but as if my short life were onely to be inployed in accents of sorrow I leng then my exclamations and I cry oooooo c as if my paine waxe the lesser when I make my complaints either lowder or longer Sometimes my pangs are so thick and so violent that I have not time to feare and sometimes againe my feare is so greate that I have not leasure to mind the pangs I endure The body suffers and the mind labour's and all is in a kind of distruction and confusion Sometimes I feare that I am yeelding up the ghost and then a pull a tugge a throw command's â—nee to forget my feare and sett my selfe to endure Sometimes I feare least my child should not come right or not be rightly shaped or not be perfectly limbed and then a throw againe maketh mee lay aside my feares In the depth of my sufferances I am all most bereft of my senses with the violence of the paine and at times of intermission I am halfe distracted with these doubts and feares Act 3.2 Sometimes I thinke of the man that was lame from his mother's wombe and was faint to be caried whom they layd dayly at the gate of the temple which was called Beautifull to aske almes of them that entered into the temple and then I am jealous that either my child may be a creeple or else a beggar At other times I thinke of the man at Lystra c 14.8 impotent in his feete who was likewise a creeple from his mother's wombe and never had walked and presently I feare that mine may be so too Againe sometimes my anxious thoughts fixe upon the man who was blind from his birth Io 9.1 Mat 12 22. Mar 7.32 sometimes on him who was blind and dumb sometimes on him who was deafe and had an impediment in his speech and then I suspect that mine infant may be so too But why ô why doe I harbour such thoughts or utter such cryes of distrust Why doe I embrace such suspitions and feares of the death of my selfe or of impotency of my child If I despaire of ease I forget my comforter If I submit not to his pleasure I deny him to be my God If I repine at my sufferances I adde unto the cause and so I multiply mine iniquities I cannot deny that my God is omniscient I may not deny that my God is omnipotent I would not deny that my God is compassionate Since then I doe know that hee knoweth my miseries and that hee hath power to release mee whensoëver hee pleaseth it is my duety to hope in his mercy and tender compassion If I feare my death I condemne my life and publish to the world my neglect of preparation If I have not layed up in store against the hower of my departure especially seeing I doe know that many have dyed in the extreamitie of their throwes it will plainly appeare that I either cared not for heaven or dreaded not hell If I fear too much that my child may fayle in a due proportion or too vainely distrust that it may come imperfect I dishonour my God who shaped it in my wombe It is not of mine owne fashioning Ps 139.14 it wa fearefully and wonderfully made by my maker I must therfore content my selfe with what hee hath allotted mee If the shape be perfect the greater must be my thankes if it prove imperfect the greater must be my patience in all I must be sure to give glory unto God My service to him hath beene weake imperfect hee may justly therfore shape my child according to my service If so hee should doe I cannot resist it I must not repine at it I will resolve therfore by the assistance of his grace that allthough my cryes may be lowd yet they shall not be sinfull they may expresse my sufferance but not any impatience I will feare to dye when I thinke onely of my desert but I will desire to dye when I faithfully rely upon the merits of my Redeemer and desire that this mortall may put on immortality 1. Cor. 15.54 I know that some children have beene borne imperfect but what I my selfe doe not fashion I will never repine at Had I made it my selfe it would have beene monstrously deformed for my very best and most accurate actions are full of imperfections If therfore it shall have too much or too litle yet it will be too much for mee to sinne by murmuring Lord arme mee with patience to suffer what thou pleasest with faith and hope to goe when thou callest and with joy and thanks to receave what thou givest part 3 The third part of the Soliloquie administring Consolation and comfort to a woman in the bitternesse of her travell THe blessed Apostle comforting the Corinthians speaketh to the soules of all the elect 1. Cor. 10.13 when hee saith There hath noe temptation taken you but such as is common to man but God is faithfull who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able but will with the temptation allsu make a way to escape that yee may be able to beare it O gracious promise O heavenly mercy Bee just ô my God in the performance bee speedie in my deliverance I faint I dye How long Lord how long shall I cry These afflictions seeme to exceede the power of a mortall woman
complaine I so mournefully as if our afflictions exceeded all that ever were sent upon the children of men If I consider our estate by it selfe I cannot choose indeede but conclude it miserable but if I weigh it with the Pestilences of former ages it will not perhapps appeare a burden so un-supportable Comparisons may peradventure ease my griese and lessen my torments therfore with David I will remember the dayes of ould I will meditate on all the workes of God Ps 143 5. It may be that Solomon may advise mee and comfort mee too where hee thus counselleth Eccl 7.10 Say not in thine heart What is the cause that the former dayes were better then these For thou doest not enquire wisely concerning this I will therfore consider the dayes of ould Ps 77.5 and the yeeres of ancient times Num 16.41 example 1 The children of Israël murmured against Moses and Aaron about the destruction of Korah Dathan Abiram and their accomplices saying Yee have killed the people of the Lord vers 46 and presently there was wrath gone out from the Lord the plague was begunne vers 49 So they that dyed of the plague were foureteene thousand and seaven hundred and all in a day beside them that dyed about the matter of Korah example 2 When Israel abode at Shittim the people committed whoredome with the daughters of Moab and Num 25.1 vers 3. Ps 106 28. vers 29 not contented with this high offence they allso joyned themselves unto Baal-Peor and did eate the sacrifices of the dead Thus they provoked the Lord to anger with their inventions and the plague brake in upon them Num 25.9 and those that dyed in the plague were twentie and foure thousand Their sinne was double it was whoredome both carnall and spirituall their punishment was therfore allmost double to that which was sent for murmuring example 3 When David sent for the Captaine of the hoast to number the people Ioab answered him fairely saying 2. Saâ—… 24.3 Now the Lord thy God adde unto the people how many soever they be an hundred fold and that the eyes of my Lord the King may see it but why doth my Lord the King delight in this thing vers 4. Notwithstanding the King's word prevailed against Ioab and against the Captaines of the boast and Ioab and the Captaines of the hoast went out from the presence of the King to number the people of Israel But what was the event thereof vers 15 The Lord sent a Pestilence upon Israël from the morning even to the time appointed and there dyed of the people from Dan even to Beersheba seaventy thousand men and all of them in the space of but three dayes vers 13 Here was yet a greater number then before and yet all of them fell for the sinne of one onely man but this one man was a King and for his eminent offence five times as many were slaine as when the multitude of people joyned in a murmuring Hee who by the people was acknowledged worth ten thousand of them c 18.3 now for his sinne became the destroyer of seaven times as many of them as hee was vallued at by them so greate was the anger of the Lord for a sinne so greate and committed by a person so greate so eminent example 4 The All-mighty threatned Ierusalem by the mouth of his Prophet that hee would make that cittie desolate Ier 19.8 and an hissing every one that passed thereby should be astonished and hisse c 49.17 because of the plagues thereof The same God threatned Edom allso by the same Prophet saying Edom shall be a desolation every one that goeth by shall be astonished and shall hisse at the plagues thereof The same God againe threatned Babylon by the same Prophet saying c 50.13 Because of the word of the Lord it shall not be inhabited but it shall be wholly desolate Every one that goeth by Babylon shall be astonished and hisse at her plagues Thus I remember thy judgments of old ô Lord Ps 119 52. and receave comfort Comfesse I must indeede that wee have sinned with our fathers 2. Chr 6.37 wee have done amisse and dealt wickedly but are our punishments as greate as our fathers were Foureteene thousand and seaven hundred of them fell at one time twentie and fower thousand at another time threescore and ten thousand at a third time Lord what mighty numbers were here and yet wee feare when one dyeth wee tremble when ten wee runne when twentie wee are dismayed when an hundred wee are hopelesse heartlesse even allmost quite dead allready when a thousand depart But why should not wee expect as greate plagues as were sent upon any of our ancestours seeing that our sinnes are not lesse either in number or weight Wherein are wee better then Ierusalem or Edom or Babylon that wee are not yet as desolate as were they That every one that passeth by is not astonished nor hisseth at us as they did at them Hee who visited them doeth visit us Ps 89.32 hee visiteth our offences with his rod and our sinnes with his scourges Yet hee visiteth us not so sorely as hee did the Israelites when fowreteene thousand and seaven hundred of them dyed or not so severely as when twentie and fowre thousand of them were swept away or not so grie vously as when threescore and ten thousand of them were destroyed or not so terribly as Ierusalem Edom and Babylon for wee are not quite desolate or not so furiously as Nineveh to whom God spake by his Prophet saying Nah 3.19 There is noe healing of thy bruise thy wound is grievous all that heare the bruite of thee shall clapp the hands over thee Or howsoever not so remedilesly as the army of Pharaoh at Euphrates whom the Lord mocketh by the mouth of his Prophet saying Ier 46.11 Goe up unto Gilead and take balme ô virgin the daughter of Egypt In vaine shalt thou use any medicines for thou shalt not be cured Eze 12 18. This ô this maketh mee to eate my bread with quaking and to drinke my water with trembling and carefullnesse for feare lest our sinne-revenging God should punish us as hee hath done them O what mercies doeth hee not yet offer unto us What kindnesse doeth hee not yet afford us To our Physitians hee giveth knowledg to our medicines hee giveth vertue The herbes of the fields and the fruits of the trees and the flesh of the beastes doe yet offer themselves for our cure and our sustenance O that wee had but so much happinesse as to know the miserie which is due to our offences O that wee had but so much mercy from God as to know his mercy in his gentle visitation For this our miserie will I groane for these our sinnes I will lament for the mercy of my God I will pray and I will cry Heare Ps 30.10 Ps 60.11 ô Lord
and have mercy upon us Lord be thou our helper O be thou our helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man part 5 The Fifth part of the Soliloquie shewing how God threatneth before his visitation IT is a weakenesse it is a fondnesse it is a madnesse in people not to believe the sure effects of certaine causes before they become obvious to their senses In the course of nature wee are apt to believe what wee dare not try Who will put his finger into the fire to try if it will burne Who will cast himselfe into the water to try whether it will drowne him Yet in things divine wee are too incredulous too full of un-beliefe I find that my God hath stricken divers with plagues for the sinnes which they have committed But I likewise find that hee hath threatned divers before hee visited them that so by their amendment they might prevent those judgments which otherwise would ensue It is my best way to find out the crying sinnes of the land by observing the punishments which are sent us for them but I must not forget either the patience of our God or the obstinacie of men the long-suffering of our Creatour or the impenitencie of his creatures Sure I am that the Lord did allways call to repentance before hee punished offenders hee hath ever wooed transgressours both by promises and by threatnings before hee ever made them sick in smiting them for their transgressions Mic 6.13 example 1 When the Israëlites were to be freed from the Egyptian bondage ô how often was Pharaoh admonished to let them goe Moses and Aaron sayd unto him The God of the Hebrewes hath met with us Ex 5.3 let us goe wee pray thee three dayes journie into the desert and sacrifice to the Lord our God lest hee fall upon us with the Pestilence or with the sword Lord how meeke Moses begged for the people yea and in the name of God too and for an act of religion too and for feare of judgments too yea and those judgments not small or triviall for they should be either the Pestilence or the sword yea and hee pretendeth that those judgments should fall upon the Israelites the people of God if they neglect their sacrifices hee saith not upon the Egyptians hee saith not upon the King And yet for all this the King yeelded not the Israelites sacrificed not and therfore the plagues the vengeance came upon the heads of their oppressours example 2 Gog was threatned for a thing which yet hee was suffered to doe The Israelites were to be his purchase Eze 38.11 the un-walled villages his pray all that dwelled without walls and had neither barres nor gates should be made desolate by him Thus the people of God were to suffer for the sinnes committed against their God But was the enemie to escape by whom the people should be corrected Was Gog to be enriched and to enjoy the spoyle Nothing lesse The very instrument of revenge was not to be freed from the wrath of the revenger nor the executioner to be accounted innocent though hee punished the guilty vers 22 I will pleade against him with pestilence saith the Lord and with blood I will raine upon him and upon his bands and upon the many people that are with him an over-flowing raine and greate hailestones fire and brimstone Thus the Israelites offended and were threatned with the armies of Gog. Gog offended in that hee knew not his maker in that hee looked onely to his advantage and spoyles whilest yet hee executed the vengeance of God hee 's therfore threatned hee shall therfore be consumed When hee should have revenged God upon the rebellious people then God himselfe would be revenged upon him with judgments from heaven example 3 The Prophet Ezekiel was sent to threaten the Israëlites for their many rebellions and thus sayd the Lord God unto him Eze 6.11 Smite with thine hand and stampe with thy foote and say Alas for all the evill abominations of the house of Israël for they shall fall by the sword by the famine and by the pestilence vers 12 Hee that is farre off shall dye of the pestilence and hee that is neere shall fall by the sword and hee that remaineth and is besieged shall dye by the famine thus will I accomplish my fury upon them Here is warning given before the blow be stricken there is the sword allready halfe out here is the famine allready in a due preparation here is an Angel ready to disperse the pestilence but before execution here is notice given before the punishment here is a threatning sent Even thus allso hath our good God dealt with us thus hath hee warned us Eze 33 11. Hee who delighteth not in the death of a sinner doeth never strike before notice given for hee had rather that our repentance should quiver his arrowes then that by our sinnes hee should be enforced to hit us at the heart example 4 I will smite the inhabitants of this citty saith God by Ieremiah concerning Ierusalem both man Ier 21.6 and beast they shall dye of a greate Pestilence Loe here is still the future tense I will not I doe God delighteth not in the execution of his wrath but yet his I will is as sure as his I doe Thus hee hath formerly threatned us with his I will I confesse indeede hee hath and yet wee would not believe what was to come onely because wee found it not instantly present Hence it is that now our people cry now our beastes doe roare and it is but just that men and women should be ranked in the order with beastes seeing that our sinnes have discovered us to be more stupid then them Yet the beasts perish though they could not sinne and wee perish because wee can doe noe-thing but sinne So the servant suffereth for the offences of the master so the beasts are punished for the sinnes of the owners The Pestilence putteth noe distinction betweene them both allthough the one could not the other would not avoyde the punishment example 5 In the booke of Exodus the Lord saith concerning Pharaoh Ex 9.15 the Egyptians Now I will stretch out mine hand that I may smite thee and thy people with Pestilence and thou shalt be cut off from the earth Take heede Pharaoh hee is true who threatneth and allthough hee saith I will yet hee saith allso now I will Hee is ready for thee allthough thy heart be not ready for him hee is just now prepared to punish if thou be not just now prepared to obey I will bring a sword upon you Lev 26 25. that shall avenge the quarrell of my covenant and when yee are gathered together in your citties I will send the Pestilence among you and yee shall be delivered into the hand of your enemies saith the Lord to the Israëlites And againe Deut 28.21 The Lord shall make the Pestilence to cleave to
the sinnes of us thy people cause thee to stoppe thine eares at our prayers 2. Chr 30.18 O heare thou our Hezekiah's praying for us who have not cleansed our selves Stay the plague from us thine Israel as thou didst from thy people Ps 106 30. Num. 16.46 when thy servant Phinehas executed judgment Cause our Aarons to take their Censers and to put fire in them from off the altar and to put on incense O let them come quickly to our congregations and make an attonement for us vers 48 Let them stand betweene the dead and the living and let the plague be stayed 2. Sam. 24.16 Thine Angel stretcheth forth his hand upon our Ierusalem to destroy it O doe thou as in the time of King David Repent thee of the evill and say unto the destroying Angell It is enough stay now thine hand Heare mee ô Lord for the distressed people and heare them for mee and heare thy Christ for us all that to him and thee and thy blessed Spirit wee may render as is most due all praise and glory and thanks-giving and obedience from this time forth for ever-more Amen THE FOURTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of her whose house is shut up for the Pestilence The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHat Shut up Why so Must mine house be a prison and my selfe both the jayler and the prisoner too This is a punishment added unto God's to be thus shut up from the societie of men Is this a visitation thus to forbid our visitants Was I wont to be such a gadder abroade that I must now be kept at home under lock and key Lord how suddenly am I transported with passion even beyond the bounds of reason and religion O here is the messenger of death come into mine house and now I must be thankfull to authoritie for commanding mee to retire my selfe to my private and pensive accounts who knoweth yet but that both my selfe and my familie may live for all our inclosing It may so please my God that by my being secluded from the multitude I may shunne the infection of the multitude and so what I conceaved an iniurie may end in a blessing I may perhaps say and say truely when I am awaked fully out of my passion Gen 28.16 as Iacob did when hee awoke out of his sleepe Surely the Lord is in this place and I knew it not My God is come indeede Lu 7.6 allthough I am not worthy that hee should enter under my roofe O hee is come but hee is come in wrath and sheweth mee the tokens of his anger but I will submit to his pleasure and say unto him in the language of the blessed Virgin Lu 1.38 Behould the hand-mayd of the Lord be it unto mee according to thy will Who knoweth but that insteed of killing hee may come to raise mee a Lazarus Io 11.43.44 if occasion serveth as once hee did for Martha and Marie Peradventure hee may come in judgment to others and yet to mee in mercy Howsoever I will hope that I am one of those who are spoken unto from the Lord by the mouth of his Prophet Come my people Is 26.20 enter thou into thy chambers shut thy doores about thee hide thyselfe as it were for a litle moment untill the indignation be over past Since then my Lord is come to be my guest my house shall be emptie swept and garnished that noe thing may offend him nothing may displease him and thus will I emptie it thus will I sweepe it thus will I garnish it Fare-well vaine world thou that hast deluded mee with thy follies and cozened mee with thy false and braided wares Come not neere mee my doores are shut and none such as thou shall enter here Fare-well false friends who onely gaze upon the rising Sunne Yee who were my companions in folly and enticers to fond and idle sports fare-well fare-well noe more shall yee enter with your bewitching charmes Sports passe-times games merrie meetings gossipings fare yee all well come noe more to my doores for if yee doe come yee shall knock and knock and knock againe all in vaine for even to this purpose allso are they now made fast And now mine Eyes the lustre of my countenance yee windowes of folly take yee your leave of your vaine objects for I have a taske to set you that yee never yet were acquainted with First I will preferre you to attend upon my heart and whatever sighes sobbes my poore heart shall send forth it shall be your duety to entertaine them by the way and enforce them to accept of the companie of your teares Yee shall weepe 'till yee are wearie and then shall yee reade when indeede yee are wearie of poring upon divine pages for your re-creation yee shall weepe againe that by that meanes yee may be fitted to reade againe Next If at any time I give you leave to consult with the sister of mortalitie as some times I fhall be necessitated to afford you a time of intermission by the persuasions of nature be sure that yee stay not too long from your imployments for my hast is greate my businesse is of consequence wee have onely a litle work to doe for the King of eternitie and then wee shall be at ease And yee mine Eares that have so often hearkened to the Syren songs of the vaine world now bid yee adieu to your musicall harmonies and ravishing concords for I must lock yee up for a season and hereafter yee shall heare a melodie beyond the tuning of the spheares for the Quire of heaven shall ravish you with their Halelujah's These Hands that so proudly hid themselves under the skinne of the kidde and blushed when they were beheld by any lesse then an idolater shall now entwine each other in a mutuall concord and then revenging the quarrell of their sinnes upon my trecherous heart they shall smite it and thumpe it and beate it untill they have mollified it untill they have beaten that stone into flesh and that flesh into water and forced that water into teares for the sinnes of my whole selfe Next my Tongue mine un-toward un-ruely wanton tongue my false pick-thanke tell-tale tongue that couldest never find the way to tell the trueth or not willingly or not with delight thou for thy idle thy prophane thy wicked speeches shalt send out nothing but cryes and yells and hideous dinus and horrid screeches for thine offences and if at any time I fhall by thine obsequious service be contented to trust thee with an articulate prayer be sure that thou first take direction from my heart Chanter in french signifieth to sing Ps 141 3. and then chant it out so lowde but forget not discretion that it may be heard up as high as
hee knoweth not for what I know sinne yet I stand not affrighted not amazed at the punishment thereof Mat. 5.44 I am commanded to love mine enemies but doubtlesse sinne is excepted for such an enemie I am bound to hate Ps 139 22. Ps 97.10 O that I could hate it right sore even as mine enemie It is the Psalmist's charge O yee that love the Lord see that yee hate the thing that is evill Could I thus doe it would bring peace to my selfe and likewise might bring health to my babe Oh I now feele the sting of my sinne piercing his body and the malignitie of my corruption breaking out in his disease Adam in innocency knew noe paine but by reason of his fall diseases are become the fruit of the fruit 2. King 5.27 vers 23 Gehazy for sinne was visited with the disease of Naaman the Syrian and his two talents of silver and two changes of raiment burdening his conscience more then the bodies of his servants 2. Chr 21.18 vers 4. bought him the Leprousie The fire that Iehoram felt in his bowells made him sensible of the punishment for his want of compassion to his brethren whom hee slew with the sword Ex 9.10 The hardnesse of Pharaoh's heart made the ashes to turne into boyles and blaines in his body 1. Cor â—1 30 The Corinthians not discerning the Lord's body were therfore stricken with sicknesse weakenesse and death Hee that was encompassed by the bulls of Basan Ps 22.12 Ps 38.8 vers 3. complained that hee roared for the disquietnesse of his heart but with all hee saith There is noe health in my flesh because of thy displeasure neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sinne Lord how thou doest use mee and my child as Gideon did once the Elders of the citty Iud 8.16 thou doest scourge mee with briers and thornes of the wildernesse Gen 3.18 The earth for the sinne of man was cursed with the production of them and wee for sinne are scourged with that curse Yet the briers and the thornes scratch but the body of my languishing infant but they even teare the soule of mee his sad sorrowfull mother Yet I fast with David 2. Sam. 12.22 and I weepe with David and I cry with David Who can tell whether God will be gratious to mee that the child may live This litle lumpe of sinfull clay lyeth at the mercy of him that is the potter It is framed it is shaped into a body into a vessell but diseases would crack it sicknesse would breake it At the taking of a besieged towne that would not yeeld though the men were to be smitten with the edg of the sword Deut 20.14 yet the women and the litle ones were appointed to be spared Lord I am one of those women my child is one of the litle ones Conquer thou but spare take us but preserve us Thy mercy to heathen could not be greater then it can be to Christians Lord what shall I doe The infant still cryeth and still the parent weepeth Sicknesse enforceth the cryes of the child and the cryes of the child enforce the parents teares O how my bowells yerne and burne and frie with in mee and yet noe ease doeth come to my sweetest babe noe comfort to my languishing child I reade that Christ did chide his disciples for rebuking those who brought the litle ones unto him and hee sayd Suffer litle children Mat 19 13. vers 14 and forbid them not to come unto mee for of such is the Kingdome of heaven To him to him therfore will I goe and tender this youngling But alas how can a begging present be acceptable unto him With what confidence can I give him this child when the offering is onely a guiftlesse guift Mine intent is not to loose but to gaine to give but not to leave my child to offer him to God but in hope that hee will spare him a litle while with mee And his indeede hee is hee hath beene his ever since hee was offered unto him in the temple Rom 6 4. ever since hee was buried with him by baptisme But perhaps hee hath since that time beene lost and strayed from him I will therfore take him in mine armes and cary him home againe I will carie him by water for now it is highflood 't is a spring-tide mine eyes are full Wee will swimme together to my Iesus of him I will begge I will cry for I will prevaile for his pardon I know that my Saviour will heare and hee will be ready allso to forgive Hee will forgive my child that ranne away from him and hee will forgive mee my running with my child and when hee hath forgiven hee will certainely remitt the eternall punishment it may be the temporall likewise But how dare I who am the greatest delinquent to goe with my child the lesser sinner How dare I to shew my face to him or appeare in his presence His child it is true I am as well as my babe but I have allso offended him as much as my babe yea more a thousand thousand thousand million of millions of myriads of times more then hee This child as yet doeth know noe malice noe guile noe hypochrisie noe enuie noe evill speaking but I alas not onely know all but allso I harbour all I foster all I embosome all and yet my God saith unto mee by the mouth of his Apostle as well as unto others 1 Pet 2 1. Laying aside all malice and all guile and hypochrisies and envies and evill-speakings vers 2. As new-borne babes desire yee the syncere milke of the word that yee may grow thereby His child I am but woe is mee I have not this long while sucked of the breasts the two testaments or not eagerly or not so understandingly as hee commandeth mee to doe when hee sayth Be not children in understanding 1. Cor. 14.20 howbeit in malice be yee children O how infinitely worse am I then this my child Hee is humble but I am prowde and haughty and high-minded Mat. 18 2. yea though I know that Christ called once a litle child peradventure just such a litle child as mine is and set it in the midst of his disciples and sayd verely I say unto you vers 3. Except yee be converted and become as litle children yee shall not enter into the Kingdome of heaven vers 4. Whosoever therfore shall humble himselfe as this litle child the same is greatest in the Kingdome of heaven The least mee think's I faine would be I would faine be greatest the greatest in the Kingdome yea the greatest in the Kingdome of heaven but the first I like not so well it suites not so well with wy disposition I would not be humble Though I am as litle as was Zacheus Lu 19.4 yet I would be as high as was Zacheus too yea though
must some-times rest What though I am an exul a stranger a sojourner here as all my fathers were I must have a lodging I must have a chamber I must have a roome and in that roome and in that chamber I may I must have some rest Yea and I must have some delight in it too and that not onâ—e alone but continually for so I am commanded by the Apostle Phil 4.4 who saith Rejoyce in the Lord allways and againe I say rejoyce Diverse indeede for diverse causes have wept but they have not allways wept Gen 27.38 Esau lifted up his voyce and wept but it was for the losse of his father's blessing The Elders of Ephesus wept Act 20 38. 2. Chr 35 25. yea they all wept sore but it was sorrowing most of all for the words that Paul had spoken unto them that they should see his face noe more A mourning I reade of that was in Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddo when Ieremiah lamented and all the singing men and the singing women spake of their King in their lamentations and made them an ordinance in Israel That was for Iosiah who was slaine by the armie of Pharaoh Necho in the valley of Megiddo In Ramah was a voyce heard Ier 31.15 lamentation and bitter weeping Rachel weeping for her children because they were not This mee thinks come's home close neere to mee This was for the captivitie of Iudah and Benjamin or it was for the infants slaine by that bloody that presecuting Herod Here are children lamented so farre the cause of the weeping complyeth with mine But neither is my child slaine by a murderer nor yet is hee lead into captivity Noe Eph 4.8 hee who did leade captivitie captive hath freed my sonne from the fetters Rom 8 21. from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of â—he sonnes of God My child was not slaine as were all the children that were in Bethlehem and in all the coasts thereof Mat 2.16 from two yeares ould and under Noe Hee who was slaine for him hath saved him Hee who hath swallowed up death in victory Is 25.8 Hos 13 14. hath ransomed him from the power of the grave and redeemed him from death Lord though I am a weake though a sinfull woman make mee for ever to praise thee for this thy goodnesse Ps 107 8. and to declare the wonders that thou hast done both for mee and mine When the woman of Samaria came to draw water at Iacob's well my bountifull Iesus freely gave her to drike of the living water Io 4.14 which became in her a well of water springing up into ever-lasting life I am such a woman as shee was mine eyes have resembled the mouth of Iacob's well and though the well be deepe even deepe as my heart yet some-thing I have had to draw the water with My child mine infant hath drawne and drawne untill I am even allmost drawne drie And in this agonie and in this distresse my Christ hath come to cleanse my well to sanctifie my teares and to ease mee of my griefe 1. King 3.26 My bowells indeede did yearne upon my child as that woman 's did whose issue should have beene divided for the satisfaction of the harlot My child is divided though hers were spared The better part of him the soule is gone it is gone to God for his it is it is his owne share nothing but the earth of him remaineth with mee But I will I must be thankfull and though I find a reluctance in my chillowed heart yet the Prophet forbiddeth weeping for the dead Ier 22.10 and bemoaning of them Let mee begge for patience for submission for content and say The Prayer BLessed Lord God Ps 68.20 unto whom belong the issues from death vouchsafe to heare the cry of thy mourning hand-mayd Thou wert pleased once to blesse mee with increase and to make mee a joyfull mother of my now dead infant But oh that that very child which was framed and fashioned by thee is now come unto thee The first that sinned was a woman tempted by the Serpent Gen. 3.13 and that Serpent in his temptation stung so deepe that it hath reached now even to the fruit of my wombe for the sinnes of my selfe Yet Lord looke downe in mercy upon mee though a sinfull woman though the most unworthy of my sexe Mat. 15.28 even farre inferiour to that woman of Canaan for herfaith was greate but I alas have noe faith at all or but a weake one or but a dead one otherwise the promises of my Redeemer would controul my passion and the assurance of his mercies would dry up my teares Thou ô Lord hast freed mine infant from the burden of the flesh yet I goe heavily for it as if it were lost in my despaire Thou hast crowned it with immortalitie and yet my passion declareth that I mourne as if it were lost Ps 38.9 O Lord God thou knowest all my desires and my groaning is not hid from thee Thou seest how my teares doe flow through mine infirmitie thou hearest my sighs which arise from my dis-content I confesse it I am sorrowfull for it I am ashamed of it Act. 7.60 Lord lay not this sinne to my charge Thou hast taken nothing but thine owne O be pleased so to make mee thine owne by grace and then shall I be assured in thine owne due time to be receaved into glory Allay the heate of my passion by the pleasant gales of thy refreshing Spirit Graunt that my teares may be kept for my sinnes my sad laments for my deplorable condition through my many offences My heart is heavy for the losse of my child ô Lord lighten it ô Lord ease and comfort it with thy heavenly grace Ps 94.19 In the multitude of sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô Lord refresh my soule My child thou knowest was deare unto mee because it was thy pleasure to lend him unto mee Hee was and hee is deere unto thee and thou hast expressed thy love in delivering him fron the evill 1. Thes 1.10 2. Tim 2.11 from the wrath to come Hee is deal in Christ Lord let mee be dead with Christ that I may allso live with Christ My child is dead because hee was sinfull but his uttermost farthing was discharged by Christ O thou who art rich in mercy Eph 2.4 for the greate love wherewith thou hast loved man-kind graunt that I may not dye in sinne but to it that so I may be quickened together with thy Sonne Make mee to yeeld my selfe unto thee Rom 6 13. as those that are alive from the dead and my members as instruments of righteousnesse unto thee my God Forgive my excesse of love to him that is gone my excesse of teares and sighs that have beene caused by his departure my want of patience and submission to thy holy pleasure and
my raging out-cryes which have given an evill example of impatience unto others a scandall to â—…y religion It was thy pleasure to free mine â—nfant from the tyrannie of sinne it was thy â—ove it was thy mercy to take him that so hee â—ight sinne noe more Lord unto thy will 〈◊〉 submit my will and for thy love for thy mercy for thy goodnesse I praise thee I blesse â—hee I magnifie thee my Lord and my God Vipe I besiech thee from mine eyes all eares of discontent remove from mine heart he excesse of sorrow and make mee walke in â—…y vocation with cheerefullnesse and in my â—eligion with setlednesse resolution The â—ortalitie of my child hath taught mee the â—…ailty even of my selfe graunt therfore blesâ—ed God that the longer I live the better I may â—…ow both in grace and goodnesse that so when his painfull life shall have an end I may â—eete thee my God with comfort thee my Iesus with joy and rejoycing and my deceased child together with the rest of the quire of Saints with heavenly Halelujahs and sing praise Reu. 5.13 and honour and glory unto thee who sittest upon the throne and to the Lamb for ever mere Amen subject 18 THE EIGHTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a wife for the sicknesse of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lordâ— consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray LOrd how various is the condition of mortalls Sometimes wee are sick and sometimes wee are well Sometimes in sicknesse wee draw neere to the grave and sometimes againe wee are in hope of recoverie T is thus ô 't is thus with my dearest husband Hee who was my comfort and joy in his health is now my griefâ— and sorrow in his sicknesse The extreamitie oâ— his anguish enforceth my teares and those conflicts of his betweene life and death doe pierce mee even to the soule I am mee thinks so divided in my teares that I cannot well determine whether the greatest number of them â—re shed for the torments which hee suffereth â—r for the losse of mine owne content or for the â—aines which love and loyaltie enforce mee to â—ake or for feare of his departure All of them â—ow from the springs of love and are readie â—o convert mee into a gliding streamâ—… When Eve was arraigned for enticing her 〈…〉 â—o the act of disobedience Gen 3.16 it was part of her â—unishment that her desire should be subject â—nto her husband and hee should rule over her Mee think's I could be well contented to under goe this servitude so that my husband might not under-goe this sicknesse Alas his â—isease is growne so violent that it even darkeâ—eth his reason and maketh him desire hee knoweth not what I would gladly obey him â—n whatsoëver hee commandeth but that I must not yeeld unto all his desires in this time of his weakenesse I must now obey the Physitian 's order and follow those directions which hee prescribeth O the miserie of sicknesse which so enfeebleth the braine that it un-man's a husband and pretendeth to free the wife from the yoke of obedience Now my desires must not be subject to my deerest husband if hee requireth that which may hinder his recovery yet howsoever my desires shall be for him when they may not be to him for I will begge of the Lord to ease him of his miserie and to restore him to health O mee think's I am not as I should be because I want the comfort and direction of my head Hee poore man iâ— growne as feeble by sicknesse as I am by sexe and allthough the torment be his yet the sorrow is mine When I remember the unâ—kindnesse of the Amalekite to his sick servant I cannot choose but wonder at the greatnesse of the inhumanitie 1. Sam. 30.13 The master left his sick Egyptian when the enemie pursued as if it hâ—d beene a high offence to want his health Io sicknesse wee have a certaine tryall of a friend Hee that onely affecteth us in health leaveth us in weakenesse is but a pretender to friendship and truely loveth us not O who would leave a languishing man that knoweth not how to helpe himselfe Mee think's I rejoyce though in my greatest perplexitie that God-hath given mee both power and abilitie to comfort my deerest I howerly visit him though not without teares and when I most endeavour to be a comforter unto him even then alas I am enforced to weepe Thus his very potiens are mixed with the drops that distill from mine eyes and at every turne I am so sensible of his miserie that I doe in a manner embalme him alive with mine aboundant teares allthough I yet have hope of his recoverie 2. King 8.7 When Benhadad the King of Assyria was sick hee sent Hazaël to meete Elisha the man of God and enquire of the Lord by him saying Shall I recover of this disease vers 8. Mee think's I could gladly performe that office of Hazaël but where shall I meete with-such a Prophet as Elisha Alas it is not in the power of man to limit our times it is God alone who numbereth our dayes I must therfore leave my curiositie and submit to his pleasure And yet in my submission I cannot leave weeping for even nature alloweth mee a freedome to mourne David grieved when his very enemies were sick for so hee saith As for mee Ps 35.13 when they were sick my cloathing was sackcloth I humbled my soule with fasting How much rather may I be allowed to grieve for my friend for my husband Who knoweth but that my sinne may be the cause of his miserie By my teares of sorrow I will therfore strive to remove the cause It is in the power of my Redeemer both to forgive mee and to recover him But alas so long as hee is sick I cannot be well So long as the head is troubled the body must needs be disturbed Hee is my head and I am his glory 1. Cor. 11.3 vers 7. Alas what comfort can I receave when my head is sick What glory can hee take in the wife of his bosome when the violence of his paine depriveth him of my society But why doe I utter these words of discontent as if it were in the power of man to recover my beloved It is god alone that sendeth sicknesse and that sendeth health on him therfore alone will I depend and in him alone will I hope Saint Paul relateth that Epaphroditus was sick Phil. 2.27 nigh unto death but God saith hee had mercy on him and not on him onely but on mee allso lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow My deare husband is sick as was Epaphroditus yea and for ought that I know hee may be sick unto death too but I will trust in the Lord that hee will have mercy upon him and restore
him yea and on mee allso that I may not be drowned in the flouds of sorrow Mat. 8.14 vers 15 When Iesus came into Peter's house hee saw his wive's mother laid and sick of a feaver And hee did but touch her hand and the feaver left her and shee arose and ministred unto them My Iesus doeth still reteine both his mercy and his power Though his body be absent yet his spirit is present Hee can if hee please reach downe from heaven Deut 4 34. for hee hath a mighty hand and a stretched-out arme O that hee would but touch his patient that so his disease might leave him and that hee might arise and serre the Lord The Prophet David did highly extoll the goodnesse of the Lord when hee acknowledged saying Ps 30.3 O Lord thou hast brought up my soule from the grave thou hast kept mee alive that I should not goe downe to the pitt Doe thou the same ô my God for thine afflicted servant My Redeemer was pleased to tell the Pharisees that the husband and the wife are noe more twaine but one flesh and therfore hee concluded saying What God hath joyned together let not man put asunder Mat â—9 6. My husband and my selfe are joyned together by the sacred institution of holy wedlock which maketh us one for wee have but one God one body one mind one affection wherfore then should any thing attempt to seperate us Yet wee may be Seperated and if this divorce be not wrought by man it infringeth not the law of God Sicknesse may make yea and at this time it doeth make an un-wellcome seperation yet though wee are seperated wee are not divided But I must find out more in this seperation then barely the sicknesse I must looke up unto him who sent this sicknesse and that is God Hee may seperate us indeede whensoever hee pleaseth Hee may send his executioner that pale and grimme death with his sharpest Sickle and give him power to reape downe either one or both of us That is the effect of sinne and I cannot deny but I have deserved to be deprived of my husband because I have many wayes offended him who sent him unto mee In the time of his health did I expect his sicknesse Did I provide for this evill day Nay did I not rather pride my selfe as Babylon did Reu 18 7. and say in mine heart I sit as a Queene and am noe widow and shall see noe sorrow Certainly his sicknesse is allso sent as a scourge unto mee for being flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone I cannot choose but be sensible of the anguish which hee suffer's Yet allthough it is just with God to deprive mee of my husband because of my rebellions I have hope in his mercy if I can but confesse my wickednesses Ps 38.18 Eze. 34 16. and be sorrie for my sinnes Hee promised once by the mouth of his Prophet saying I will seeke that which was lost and bring againe that which was driven away and will bind up that which was broken will strengthen that which was sick O my God make good this promise now to thy languishing servant Hee is one of thy flock hee is one of thy weake and tender Lambs True it is that hee was lost when hee went astray after his owne inventions but now as thou hast found him in this thy visitation so let him find thee in the gentlnesse of his correction Seeke him ô my God who was lost bring him againe unto thee who was driven from thee by the suggestions of the tempter bind him up for hee is broken Ps 41.3 and strengthen him now upon the bed of languishing make thou all his bed in this his sicknesse Moses did assure the children of Israel that If they would hearken to the judgments of God Deut. 7 12. vers 15 and keepe and doe them Then the Lord would take away from them all sicknesse and would put none of the evill diseases of Egypt upon them O my Lord be pleased to make thy feeble servant willing to hearken to thy judgments and ready to keepe them and then in thy good time release him from his sicknesse Againe the Lord at another time did comfort his people Ex. 23.25 and sayd unto them Yee shall serve the Lord your God and I will take sicknesse away from the midst of thee O that my God would be pleased to draw this languishing patient to his holy service and accept of that service and then free him from this sicknesse Hee who hath woundded him even the same can cure him and hee expecteth noe reward onely hee requireth the heart But alas the very heart of my husband is tormented with sicknesse hee is sick at the heart and the Lord doeth say Mal. 1.8 If yee offer the lame and the sick is it not evill But what then shall hee doe Hee can offer noe other then what hee hath Let it be thy goodnesse ô God to ture him of his lamenesse to ease him of his sicknesse and then accept of the whole man for hee is wholly thine Hee who so friendly speaketh to the house of Israël and justifieth himselfe unto them saying O my people what have I done unto thee Mich. 6.3 and wherein have I wearied thee Even the same God notwithstanding threatneth the wicked that hee will make them sick in smiting vers 13 them My poore husband now is sensible of his wrath because hee had formerly refused his mercy Even hee and my selfe have beene apt to forget our good God when hee did not weary us and therfore now hee doeth make us sick in this smiting us Yet there is hope for even the same God is ours who was the God of Daniel and that Prophet saith Dan 8.27 I Daniel fainted and was sick certaine dayes afterward I rose up and did the King's businesse My poore husband fainteth too oh hee is sick too but I will pray unto my God to raise him up againe that so hee may doe the King's businesse even the businesse of him who is King of Kings Reu 17.14 and Lord of Lords For this I will besiech him and I will begge of him that in the bowells of his compassion hee will open his eares to the cry of his hand-mayd whilest I powre out my prayer and supplication unto him and say The Prayer INcomprehensible God whose workes are deepe and whose wayes are past finding out who smitest in thy wrath and yet in thy wrath remembrest mercy Hab. 3.2 be pleased to stretch forth thine hand and visit in mercy thine afflicted patient Thou art the good Samaritane from whom alone wee can expect the oyle of gladnesse Lu 10.33 Ps 45.7 and the wine of consolation O remember not the iniquities either of my sick Lord or my sinfull selfe for wee know that in thy justice thou mayst teare us in pieces Ps 50.22 Is 53.5 when there can
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
dyed shee vers 19 poore soule being greate with child when the storie of these sad accidents was related unto her bowed her selfe and fell in travaile for her paines came upon her yea at length when shee was delivered of her Ichabod vers 21 she gave up the ghost Thus the Priests fell by the sword Ps 78.64 and noe widow was left to make lamentation True it is that my affliction is greate in the death of my husband yea so greate that herewith the slanderous enemie of the Psalmist was severely cursed Ps 109.9 Let his children be fatherlesse and his wife a widow yet is it farre better to see him goe downe to the grave in peace then that hee should have lingered in continuall miserie Ier 22.12 Shallum the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah was caried captive by an enemie into another land and dyed there which the Prophet confidering speaketh and saith vers 10 Weepe not for the dead neither bemoane him but weepe for him that goëth away for hee shall returne noe more nor see his native countrie This might have beene the portion allso of my beloved but since it was not though my losse be greate yet must not my sorrow be too greate Immoderate griefe for those that are dead was the practise of heathens it becometh not the children of God The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himselfe who saith unto them Lev 19 28. Deut 14.1 Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead nor print any markes upon you I am the Lord. And againe Yee are the children of the Lord your God yee shall not cut your selves nor make any baldnesse betweene your eyes for the dead The Gentiles indeede at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow that they cut themselves Ier 16.6 made themselves bald in the greatnesse of their lamentations They carved their flesh and marked themselves for idolatrie yea they allso cut their skinnes when a friend deceased and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium or inke or what colour they pleased which remained in the flesh when the skinne was growne over In all their sorrowes such kinds of inscisions were ordinarie testimonies of the griefe of their hearts Ier 41.5 Thus the fowre score men that came from Shechem from Shiloh and from Samariah had their beards shaven and their clothes rent and they had cut themselves and had offerings and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baall did call on the name of their Idoll 1. King 18.28 they cryed alowd and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers 'till the blood gushed out upon them Yet though it was the practise of the Gentiles it may not be of Christians nor might it be of the Israëlites they therfore punished it with many stripes And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally beene stained with the blood of their owne bodies the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruell offence The Iewes might not cut themselves at the death of a friend noe though of a father because they were not fatherlesse while the Lord was their God The infidells indeede had noe share in the most high and therfore were fatherlesse when their sires deceased but it was not so with Israel nor is it so with mee I have a father which is in heaven Mat 6.9 to whom my husband is gone before mee I have a husband too which is in heaven even the same who was a husband to Iudah and Israël I have a head too which is in heaven Ier 31.32 even my Saviour Christ Eph 5.23 who is the head of the Church I have a brother too which is in heaven even my elder brother Iesus Christ Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead since hee is but gone to the place where my treasure is layed up Mat. 6.20 and where my immortall father and head and brother have crowned him with immortalitie My God hath taken him that I may know where to find him Whilest hee continued upon earth his imployments did often deprive mee of his societie but now is hee seated in a place of rest to which when I come wee shall never be seperated Whilest hee was here my affection unto him indeede was greate and that was my duety but yet I feare that I offended in the excesse Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow but even by these teares I am taught the sinfullnesse of my passion For this sinne therfore will I strive to weepe even for the trespasse of my weeping I should never have beene so offensively sensible of this my losse nor so vaine in my laments if I had allways remembred that hee was created mortall and had therfore trusted in him who is immortall If I doe love my God more then I did my husband I shall find both comfort and content in his mercy Lord how fraile and weake am I that I cannot discharge the debt of nature but I must bring in question the power of grace I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband without discovering some diffidence some distrust in my God But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excesse of my love to my deceased husband the excesse of my teares for the death of my husband and to convert these teares into dropps of sorrow for my hainous offences To him will I hasten to him will I speedily addresse my selfe and mournfully will I cry and begge and pray and say The Prayer FAther of mercies and God of all consolation Ioa 11.25 vers 26 thou who art the resurrection and the life in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though hee were dead and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally send downe thy grace into my sinfull soule that I may magnifie thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life and for inthroning him in the celestiall â—erusalem where I doubt not but hee reigneth Thou knewest his sufferances and the sharpenesse of his sicknesse in mercy didst release him of his miserie to crowne him with glory Thy favours were infinite in his spirituall comforts when his body languished through the extreamitie of his disease By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sinne yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell through the sufferances of thy Sonne For thy goodnesse to him thy name be glorified and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it Thou knowest Lord the distresse of my soule for want of him whom thou hast taken from mee Thou seest mine affliction and thou numberest my teares O be gratious unto mee thine unworthy servant and send mee comfort in the midst of these sorrows Give mee grace
the wine and the other accustomed entertainments are given at each wee goe to the church for the consummation of each onely here is the difference that at the one wee rejoyce but at the other wee mourne Every guest that is willing to comply with the preâ—ent occasion must as well be sad at this as â—e merrie at the other Weepe wee may and weepe wee must especially my selfe who have â—ost my selfe But yet let mee take heede that I offend not in my teares lest that which is my duety be turned into a crime I must especially take heede that I erre not in the cause of these laments for if I griere at the happinesse of him that is departed I discover an envie rather then affection If I grieve for the losse which my selfe sustaineth I must take heede that I wrong not my confidence in God I may not offend in the number of my teares for if I weepe too much I may forfeit my hope or at least I may occasion those that behould mee to thinke that I doubt of the salvation of the dead Weepe I may and weepe I must but for feare lest I offend in these my teares in my earnest prayers I will begge that they may be sanctified To my God will I goe for his direction and assistance and in this storme of my teares I will shelter my selfe under his protection and humbly will I tender my petitions and say The Prayer O All-mighty and ever-living Lord God thou who knowest whereof wee are made Ps 103.14 and who remembrest that wee are but dust give mee grace I besiech thee to be thankfull unto thee for all thy mercies more particularly both for thy deliverance of my husband from the miseries of this life and for affording mee the meanes in peace to bring him to his longest home Lord so arme mee with patience in this time of affliction that I may not offend thee in my want or excesse of mourning Gen 3.19 Dust wee are and to dust wee shall returne From the earth wee came and to the earth wee must goe This way which thy servant must now be disposed of is the way wherein thou wilt one day leade mee allso to my rest O prepare mee for the time of my greate account Eccl 12 7. that so when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was my spirit may returne unto thee who didst give it Let his spectacle of mortality live in my memorie that so when I consider that the time will come that as naked as I came out of my mother's wombe Iob 1.21 so naked shall I thither returne againe I may wholly endeavour and seeke to be clothed with the righteousnesse of thy Sonne Rom 6 4. With him thou hast beene gratiously pleased that by baptisme I should be buried into death graunt allso good God that like as hee was raised up from the dead by the glory of thee the eternall Father even so I allso may walke in newnesse of life Make mee ever thinke upon death which will seize on mee judgment which will examine mee and hell which would devoure mee that heaven may receave mee Let this lifelesse carkeise put mee in mind of the malice of sinne which is the cause of death and of that sentence which immediatly followeth this death Thou seest ô Lord how unwilling I am to part from this frozen and earthie lumpe Thou knowest how deepe the departure of my joy doeth pierce and wound mine afflicted heart O be thou my comforter in this greatest sorrow Ps 119.96 that seeing now I see that all things doe certainly come to an end I may wholly endeavour to please thee alone who shalt never have end Is 50.3 O thou who cloathest the heavens with blacknesse and hast cloathed mee at this time who am but earth ashes with these mourning weedes graunt that by these I may be instructed to shunne the fraile and fading vanities of the earth and strive for that Kingdome which shall endure for ever Be pleased to speake peace to my troubled mind that so though nature hath power to enforce mee to weepe yet grace may prevaile to moderate my mourning Ps 106 9. Ps 104.9 O thou who diddest once rebuke the red sea that thy servants might passe through them as on drie land thou who hast set a bound to the seas that they may not passe over nor turne againe to cover the earth be pleased so to rebuke the waters of mine affliction and put such a bound to these my teares that they may not drowne this earth of my feeble body but may give place to confidence and comfort in thy mercy Ps 114.3 Iordane did yeeld to thy command was driven back so drive thou back the flood of my teares that they swell not above the bankes of moderation and hope Let the grave of the deceased put mee in mind of the tombe of my blessed Redeemer that so when I am bowed downe with sorrow at the buriall of this earth I may be raised with joy for the benefits of the resurrection of my Saviour Christ Hee hath plucked out the sting which sinne had formerly given unto death 1. Cor. 15.56 vers 57 ô let mee ever be thankfull unto thee my God who givest us victorie through Iesus Christ. Give mee an assured beliefe of the generall resurrection that when I grieve at the placing of this flesh in the grave I may rejoyce in the certaintie of his rising againe Ps 25.17 Though the troubles of my heart be now enlarged yet bring thou mee out of all my feares Ps 94.19 In the midst of the sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô God refresh my soule Lord make mee dye to sinne and live by grace that when I shall put off this tabernacle of flesh I may dwell with thee in those eternall mansions of perfect happinesse through Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen subject 21 THE TWENTIE-FIRST SUBjECT Teares of a woman in the state of widow-hood The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray BEcause Ierusalem had forsaken the Lord was was gone backward Ier 15.6 vers 8. Therfore sayd my God their widowes are increased to mee above the sand of the seas vers 6. Hee who was wearie of repenting was not wearie of destroying and yet the judgments which fell upon the Iewes were easier to the stronger then to the weaker sexe The males had a period set to their earthly troubles when the sword devoured them but the poore females were left alive destitute both of the comfort and societie of their husbands Death is a judgment mixed often with mercy because it finisheth our earthly sufferances whereas a life that is lead in continued sorrowes is so much the more burdensome
mind Though I have lost my husband yet still I have my God Hee is and will be mine so long as I remaine and continue his What though I misse my head my deceased Lord my dead husband in every place What though hee sitteth not with mee at the table and therfore I sigh What though I find a misse of him in my sole and single life and therfore I grieve What though I want him to instruct mee in the wayes of goodnesse and to provide for the affaires allso concerning this life and therfore mourne I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved and I may lament the losse of my instructer and my comforter but if I grieve too much I shall but discover that there was folly in my love and that there is dispaire in my teares Hee was not mine but God's and with him hee liveth It must be my comfort that hee lived so well while hee was upon earth that I may hope assuredly that hee 's a saint in heaven and it must be my confidence that hee is onely gone a litle before to that place of happinesse whither I shall follow him Hee who lent mee him can furnish mee with another or else give mee content with this single life Hee was not my choyce but God's If I ponder upon my losse with sorrow and griefe I must yet thinke upon his advantage with joy and content I will therfore reverence his memorie without too many sobbs and I will be thankfull to my God because hee once did lend mee so good a directour I will by his blessing live a widow with content and quietnesse untill hee shall be pleased either to call mee againe to the state of wedlock or else free mee from this sinfull and troublsome world If I marrie noe more the greater command shall I reteine of my selfe I am now at libertie to employ my time in religious dueties whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man even my religion it selfe without the mercy of my God might receave some prejudice But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring mee againe into obedience to another I will besiech him so to direct mee in my choyce that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter but with my prayers and teares I will begge of the Lord to guide and direct mee Thus that I may live in the love of my God and that hee may allways overshadow mee with his blessings Ier. 31.32 and be a husband unto mee as hee promised to be unto Iudah and Israël I will humble my selfe at his foote-stoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer BLessed God thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldest be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband Is 54.5 be pleased to looke upon the low estate of a pensive widow Thou knowest how irksome and full of forrowes this solitarie life is thou viewest my sad and dis-consolate condition O be thou unto mee both a husband and a comforter that in the multitude of my sorrowes which I have in my heart thy comforts ô Lord Ps 94.19 may refresh my soule It is thy promise that Prov. 15.25 though thou wilt destroy the house of the proude yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow Though the wicked doe noe good to the widow Iob. 24.21 yea though they stay the widow and murder the fatherlesse Ps 94.6 Ps 68.5 yet thou thy selfe hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherlesse and defend the cause of the widow even thou ô God who dwellest in thine holy habitations Iob. 22.9 O send not then a poore and distressed widow away emptie but be pleased to be my Gâ—… my guide and my counsellour Make mee 〈◊〉 honour thee in all my wayes to rely upon thee iâ— all my sorrowes to sue unto thee in all mâ— wants Eph. 4.24 Ps 89.22 and firmely to be wedded unto thee 〈◊〉 righteousnesse and true holinesse Let not thâ— oppressour exact upon mee nor the Sonne 〈◊〉 wickednesse doe mee harme but doe thoâ— allways preserve mee under the shadow of thy wings Be thou my directour in all my wayes that whether I shall continue in this stated of widow-hood or be ordered by thee to change my condition and be joyned againe in holy wedlock I may sue for thy counsell and be seconded with thy blessing But so long as I shall leade this single life let mee remaine contented Lu. 2.37 and make mee like Anna the Prophetesse not departing from thy temple but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day Be thou unto mee in a more excellent manner then was Iob unto the widowes causing my heart to sing for joy Iob. 29.13 that so though mine afflictions are many and my desolate condition be full of perturbations and anxious thoughts yet I may so cleave unto thee that I may have comfort in thee whilest I live upon earth and be hereafter admitted into the societie of thy saints and Angells there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT Teares of an Orphane at the death of her father The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray AMong other abominations which Ierusalem was guiltie of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents Could nature become so silent in children that they should forget the honour due to progeâ—itours Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian it needes must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers that did beget him Alas I feele a desire of expressing such an affection which I would be as readie to manifest in reall expression but ay mee the object of 〈◊〉 love and my duety is snatched from mee Oâ— hee that begat mee is dead hee that tooke caâ— to breede mee hee that supplyed my wants bâ— that instructed mee in religion hee that defenâ—… mee from injuries hee whose labour indstrie was chiefely imployed for the good of mee his boloved child Prov. 4 3. I was oh I may say I was my father's child tender and onely beloved of my mother But now where ô where is that man of affection Where is that father who so earnestly loved mee who so deerely affectâ— mee Sick hee was dead hee is But was my duety to him correspondent any way to his care of mee Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service Gen 48 1. obedience Did I visit him in his sicknesse as Ioseph did his dying father When one could him saying Behold thy father iâ— sick hee
ceremeniall law yea a Priest himselfe was allowed these acts so naturall and pious Though touching the Nazarites the command was strickt which the Lord delivered unto Moses Num. 6 1. vers 2. saying Say unto the children of Israel when either man or woman shall seperate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite to seperate themselves unto the Lord vers 6. all the dayes that hee seperateth himselfe unto the Lord hee shall come at noe dead body vers 7. hee shall not make himselfe un-cleane for his father or for his mother for his brother or for his sister when they dye because the consecration of his God is upon his head Yet whereas the law said Eze 44 25. The Priests shall come at noe dead person to defile themselves it ran with this exception But for father or for mother or for sonne or for daughter for brother or for sister that hath had noe husband they may defile themselves And againe concerning the common people the law provideth saying Num 19.16 Whosoever toucheth one that is slaine with the sword in the open fields or a dead bodie or a bone of a man or a grave shall be uncleane but the time of his un-cleanesse was to continue but seaven dayes That law hath now noe power to oblige us who are under the Gospel I may touch my dead parent and embrace him yea and kisse him at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body And so I will and if there remaine any un-cleanesse in my cogitations I will purifie I will wash it away with the bath of my teares Allthough my sorrowes cannot call him from the grave yet they have power both to discover mine affection and to satisfie my desires Heb 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life againe This indeede is too much for mee to expect yet it will not be too much for mee to mourne with those women who were afterward thus comforted But then I must be just in my mourning As my love may lawfully be shewed in my teares so must my religion be manifested in my moderation It was a curse upon the Iewes which the Prophet pronounced when hee said Men shall not teare themselves for them in mourning Ier. 16.7 to comfort them for the dead neither shall men give them the cupp of consolation to drinke for their father or for their mother I must not exceede the bounds of modestie in my cryes lamentations but I must drinke rather of the cupp of consolation and hearken to the advice and counsell of my comforters Nature indeede may be seene in a teare and heard in a sigh but if those teares be too many or those sighes too frequent or too lowde my very sorrowes may be sinfull for my want of patience Hee for whom I grieve is better then my selfe and his condition is full of joy and delight why then should I mourne too excessively as if hee were lost why should I grieve too immoderately as if I despaired of a father Hee is gone to a place where hee is freed from sorrowes and can dye noe more onely I am on earth in a valley of teares but I shall have a time to dye too and be gathered unto him In heaven saith Saint Iohn there shall be noe more death Reu. 21.4 neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things are passed away My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtaine that world Luc. 20 35. the resurrection from the dead neither marrie nor are given in mariage neither can they dye any more vers 36 for they are equall unto the Angells and are the children of God being the children of the resurrection VVhy then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrowes and my teares are but a fruitlesse disturbance of my selfe If I am troubled at the losse of a friend so deare I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good I shall one day learne with holy Iob Iob. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father and to the worme Thou art my mother and my sister There is yet something earthly therfore which I shall acknowledge a parent but I must take heede that nothing upon earth doeth make mee an idolater The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock Ier 2.27 Thou art my father to a stone Thou hast brought mee forth This were a stupid madnesse in mee if I should so dis-honour the memorie of my father as to make the timber succeede him in my reverence But more impious it would prove if I should reject my heavenly father and insteed of him I should honour as Israel did a stock or a stone The greater that my losse is in my deceased parent the more must be my obedience to the father of lights Iam. 1.17 Heb. 12 9. Hee who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto mee for a time the father of my flesh Hee hath allso taken from mee my naturall parent that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom hee dwelleth If my trust be in God my comforts will abound my sorrowes will decrease If my name be written among the righteous my share shall be equall to theirs in the protection of my God Hee hath ever beene mercifull to them that were fatherlesse so that they relyed on his providence and served him with faithfullnesse Ps 27.10 Ps 68.5 When my father and my mother forsake mee saith the Psalmist then the Lord will take mee up a father of the fatherlesse is God in his holy habitation O that I might have the honour to be his child that so I might justly call him father O that I could truely say unto him Thou art my father my God Ps 89.26 Is 63.16 Ier. 3.19 2. Cor. 6.18 and the rock of my salvation O that I could faithfully say Thou ô Lord art my father my Redeemer thy name is from ever-lasting O that I could call him my father and not turne away from him His mercies are greate his promises are full of comfort I will be a father unto you and yee shall be my sonnes and daughters saith the Lord All-mighty O what shall I doe that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children Alas as I am I have but litle hope of it for hee is pure but I am un-cleane but I will wash my selfe with my teares of repentance and beseech his Sonne to cleanse mee with his blood Hee is righteous but I am sinfull but I will confesse my wickednesse Ps 38.18 and be sorrie for my sinnes and then I am sure hee will aboundantly pardon Lord though I have beene thine enemie thou canst make mee thy friend though I have hated thee thou canst incline mee to love thee though I have beene rebellious thou
canst make mee thy child O be pleased to hearken to the intercession of mine advocate pleading for mee to the intercession of thy Christ who was obedient to thee to the intercession of my Iesus who was crucified for mee In him be reconciled unto mee for I am well assured that like as a father pittieth his children Ps 103 13. so thou Lord doest pittie them that feare thee This ô this is the way where in I must walke Thus yea onely thus shall I have a father both dead and alive Hee who is dead shall not b◠immoderately bewayled because hee that is ever living shall wipe the teares from mine eyes Mine exchange shall be full of advantage For him who was willing to helpe mee yet was not able for him who loved mee but imperfectly and left mee irresistably I shall have a father whose will cannot be opposed whose power noe creature is able to resist whose love is in perfection and who is not subject either to change Dan 7.9 Ps 90.2 Ps 22.9 or dye Hee is the ancient of dayes hee is God from ever-lasting and world without end If I could say with David Thou didst make mee hope when I was upon my mother's breast as well as I can say with him Thou art hee that tooke mee out of my mother's wombe vers 10 if I could say that thou art my God from my mother's belly as well as I can say that I was cast upon thee from the wombe if I could say that I had allways served thee then should my praise be of thee continually Ps 71.6 and then should I be safe under the shadow of thy wings Hos 14 3. Ashur shall not save us saith Israel wee will not ride upon horses neither will wee say any more to the worke of our hands Yee are our God's for in thee ô God the fatherlesse findeth mercy In God doe the fatherlesse find mercy Ps 35.14 Why then doe I how downe my selfe thus heavily mourning for my father whereas I am assured if I serve and obey the righteous Lord that when my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up Hee that is dead was but the weake though the loving instrument to bring mee to life but hee that is living yea and liveth for ever and ever is the God both of power and mercy hee therfore for ever shall be my father Mal 2.10 Have wee not all one father Saith the Prophet Hath not one God created us Yes yes hee is a father to all by creation but hee will not be a father to all by regeneration Lu 12.32 His flock is but litle his children are not many I will therfore strive to be one of the smallest number for those alone shall inherit salvation His mercies were ever greate to the godly his compassions never failed the fatherlesse if they honoured him When David was promised that hee should have a Sonne even then the Lord did allso promise to be a father unto him 1. Ch◠17.13 I will be his father saith the Lord and hee shall be my Sonne I will not take my mercy away from him as I tooke it from him that was before thee But what shall I doe to gaine his protection How shall I perswade him to call mee his child If I love the memorie of my father more then I love him then I cannot possibly be worthy of him for so saith my Saviour Mat 10 37. Hee that loveth father or mother more then mee is not worthy of mee I will therfore strive to honour my God with the strength of my love in heart and in soule and that I may the better doe it I will imitate my dead father in all that was just and righteous in him but whereinsoever hee failed I will decline his stepps 1 King 22.52 Ahaziah was plagued because hee did evill in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father and of his mother 2. Chr 22.3 Hee walked in the way of the house of Ahab for his mother was his counseller to doe wickedly It is not the losse of a parent which can prevaile for a blessing upon the child unlesse in the stead of him that was earthly hee be made a father who is Lord of heaven Hee looketh not on our afflictions with the eye of compassion unlesse wee looke up to him with the eye of faith and devotion Our miseries are but judgments unlesse wee amend and doe but prophesie unto us a destruction at hand When Ieroboam was fatherlesse hee was called to the congregation 1. King 12.20 c 11.26 and they made him King over Israel but hee whose hand at first was lifted against the Crowne and not content with that did afterwards put it forth against the man of God c 13.4 had it justly dryed up so that hee could not pull it in againe unto him Thus the losse of an earthly father could not protect a wicked orphane c 14.9 but hee who did evill above all that were before him and had gone and made other Gods and molten images to provoke the Lord to anger and had cast the Lord behind his back even upon his house was evill to be brought vers 10 The Lord will cutt off saith the text from Ieroboam him that pisseth against the wall and him that is shut up and left in Israel and will take away the remnant of the house of Ieroboam as a man taketh away dung 'till it be all gone But on the contrarie I find that unto the godly a father of the fatherless Ps 68.5 and a judge of the widowes is God in his holy habitation 1. King 7.13 vers 14 Hiram the Sonne of a widow of the tribe of Naptali whose father was a man of Tyre the same was filled with wisedome and understanding and cunning to worke all workes in brasse and was therfore sent for by King Solomon to build his house Gen 25 11. Est 2.7 After the death of Abraham it is said that the Lord blessed his Sonne Isaak After the death of Esther's father Mordecai the Iewe tooke her shee being his uncle's daughter for shee had neither father nor mother Hee tooke her for his owne daughter and afterward the Lord so blessed the orphane that shee came to sit upon the royall throne c 7.3 vers 17 Ps 10.14 and to be the preserver of her nation Thus the poore who commit themselves to God doe find assuredly that hee is a helper of the fatherlesse Hee executeth their judgment so saith Moses Deut 10.18 The Lord doeth execute the judgment of the fatherlesse By Moses allso hee forbiddeth the people saying Yee shall not afflict any widow Ex 22.22 or fatherlesse child Iob accuseth his pretended friends of an high offence when hee chargeth them Iob. 6.27 Is 10.2 saying Yee over-whelme the fatherlesse By the Prophet Isaiah a woe is
and yet 't is a paine to mee to cry yea and 't is follie to cry because I receave 〈◊〉 certaine hurt by it but noe release from thâ— which I cryfor I envy all that enjoy theâ— health and each moment I am ready to repiâ— at him who hath brought mee so low Thâ— smile of a visitant is a dagger at my heart for while I find my selfe thus lingering in a sicknesse I looke that the whole world should decay for companie I am fretfull and peevish and disturbed with every thing yea even by a continuance of the fretfulblesse it selfe One while I faine would have my life prolonged another while I cry out for a speedie departure Sometimes I have a kind of glimmering oâ— health and then I am so proude of it that 〈◊〉 adventure too much Either I eate too much or I walke too much or I discourse too much or one thing or other exceeding its proportion speedes mee back againe to my former weaknesse then am I sorrie for what I have done and yet am I apt either to denie or excuse it Thus ô thus is my body perplexed but all this while I say nothing of my soule I am sensible of the anguish which I feele in my body but in what estate or condition doe I find my foule My body is allmost resolved into that whereof it was framed my soule therfore is not long to continue upon earth When they shall part it will prove either a day of tryumphant blisse or else a dismall time â—t will be of horrour and confusion O come come thou fond and foolish woman looke â—o that darling which ere long shall be crowned with a diademe of glory or else be damned with the rebellious ghosts Well I am resolved I will now take up banishing the thoughts or hopes of recoverie I will prepare my selfe that I may meete my God O my God assist mee in this my resolution and blesse mee in the performance part 2 The second part of the Soliloquie expressing the cause of the maladie HAd Adam continued in his integritie man should have beene freed from the tortures of sicknesse The dead and trampled earth should not have beene freer from thornes and thistles then man the living earth from maladies and infirmities But ô I feele the sowernesse of the apple in the bitternesse and sharpnesse of my disease and needes must I therfore remember mine originall corruption This is the cause of my languishing this is the ground of my feeblenesse But is this all Have I nothing but the staine which I inherit from my parents to be termed the cause of this my miserie One onely offence to my greate creatour hath power enough to purchase my disquiet But have I but one Is mine hereditarie sinne mine onely crime Surely I feare that I have something amisse in mine owne thoughts and words and actions as well as in my parent's un-kind legacie I cannot believe that God doeth afflict my body with these chastisements yea and threaten my soule too with eternall tortures and all this onely for a sinne of Adam so many ages since committed Thus indeede hee might doe and yet I should not chuse but justifie him when hee should speake Ps 51.4 and cleare him when hee should judg Oh but I feele some-thing else at my heart as weightie as lead which make's mee cry out it is some-thing at my conscience which telleth mee that I have more to answer for then the pollutions of nature it assureth mee that I have offended cruelly deepely desperately I have offended 'T is true ô mine angrie my disturbed conscience I must confesse I have Oh my heart I feele there I feele there something more then an universall guilt I have offended I have sinned actually greatly mightily bloodily in every thought in every word in every action I have so industriously imployed my time to the dishonour of my God that I cannot remember I ever pleased him Guiltie guiltie I must I doe confesse my selfe highly guiltie of fearefull crimes such as disturbe mee in the very remembrance O my God vouchsafe mee a repenting heart for them yet never without the assurance of thy mercy and pardon through the sufferance of thy Sonne How can I choose but find my sinnes even in my very feeble and consuming sicknesse Since I have so many testimonies in the sacred pages that God is noe revenger untill mee are delinquents All disturbances of the body doe un-doubtedly arise from the pollutions of the soule The Prophet David confessed it and said Ps 38.3 There is noe soundnesse in my flesh because of thine anger neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sinnes My Redeemer justified it when hee who had beene shaken with a palsie was brought unto him lying upon his bed for hee cured him Mat 9.2 and said Sonne be of good cheere thy sinnes be forgiven thee And againe when thirtie eight yeeres had beene spent by a man in a lingering disease and after that my Iesus had cured him when hee found him in the Temple Io 5.14 his words to him were Behould thou art made whole sinne noe more lest a worse thing come unto thee Saint Paul assured the Corinthians that because they did unworthily approach the table of the Lord 1. Cor 11.30 even for this cause many were weake and sick among them and many slept Thus the punishment is sent from God but the offence is both in and from our selves But have all diseases the same originall Is sinne the ground of every sicknesse Cannot I be afflicted with this languishing maladie but it must needes proceede from the wickednesse I have committed Noe doubtlesse for this very kind and manner of sicknesse hath particularly beene threatned yea and sent too as a punishment for disobedience A languishing hath beene threatned and sent upon the very creatures for the sinnes and wickednesse of the offending people Thus the Prophet bemoaneth the punishment of the Iewes for their greate rebellions and saith The earth mourneth Is 24.4 and fadeth away the world languisheth and fadeth away the height of the people of the earth doeth languish Ier 14.2 Thus in a grievous famine Iudah mourned and the gates thereof languished they were black unto the ground and Ierusalem was gone up Is 16.8 Thus the fields of Hesbon languished and the vine of Shibmah the lords of the heathen brake downe the principall plants thereof Ioel 1.10 Thus among the Iewes the field was wasted the land mourned for the corne was wasted the new wine was dryed up the oyle languished vers 12 the vine was dryed up and the figg-tree languished Thus in the confusion of Egypt the fishers mourned Is 19.8 and all that did cast the angle into the brookes lamented and they that spread netts upon the waters did languish Thus among the enemies of the church the earth mourned and languished c 33.9 Lebanon was ashamed and hewen
be as constant in my prayers as the man â—as constant in his attendance at the poole At â—y gate ô Christ I must I doe continually â—e Thy blood ô Iesus is the onely Bethesda â—r my distressed soule Lord leade mee into â—…at poole of blood by the hand of faith and then I shall not distrust the effect of that â—ver O cleanse my soule and then I shall willingly submit to thy pleasure for my body But still ô still my paines increase and my flesh consume's I pray and I begge and I beseech and yet I find noe ease noe reliefe The continuance of my sicknesse doe's but â—each mee the ignorance of the Physitians or â—he deadnesse of the druggs and potions I am dyeted and I am physicked and my body is become the very shop of an Apothecarie and yet I find noe ease noe comfort 'T is true that thirtie and eight yeares continuance of a maladie hindered not Christ from curing with a word But if it had remained longer could hee have done the like Yes surely why not Hee himselfe could as well have dooâ— that as have given power to his Apostles tâ— restore the Criple who had beene fortie yeaâ—… lame This was done by Peter and Iohn for the man that was above fortie yeares ould Act 14 22. c 3.2 and had beene lame from his mother's wombe even on him was shewed this miracle of healing I may hope for some favour too from the hands of my God for though to mee it might appeare allmost a miracle that I should recore yet with God it is as easily effected by a word as was the greate creation of heaven and earth I will therfore submit to his pleasure and 〈◊〉 upon his goodnesse Hee is a God of mercy an tender compassion hee is the greate Physitia both of soule and body hee hath allways delighted in acts of charitie It was his promise upon some conditions to heale a whoâ—… land 2. Chr 7.14 for his owne words are If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seeke my face and turnâ— from their wicked wayes then will I heare from heaven and will forgive their sinne and wiâ—… heale their land I am one of the people ô Christ that is called by thy name for a Christian I am though a sinfull and a feeble Christian and thou hast humbled mee with this thy visitation and grace thou hast given mee I blesse the for it to humble my selfe in the consideration of mine iniquities and to pray and to seâ—… thy face Lord perfect thy good workes and make mee turne from mine iniquities and then heare mee from heaven and forgive my sinne and if it may stand with thy eternall decree heale thy servant Hee hath likewise shewed his mercy even in healing of waters 2. King 2.21 for his Prophet Elisha went forth to the spring of un-wholesome waters and cast salt in there and said Thus saith the Lord I have healed these waters there shall not â—e from thence any more death or barren land So the waters were healed vers 22 according to the saying of Elisha the Prophet Lord I have waters too that require thy helpe for they are un-wholesome they are sinfull I weepe and I lament my teares runne downe on my cheekes Lam. 1.2 and all either with extreamitie of anguish or feare of death or despaire of thy power to restore mee to health few of them are for my sinnes few of them for my transgressions But some hope I have that thou wilt likewise heale these waters for allready thou hast cast some salt into them I find by my tast that they are brackish that they are brinish Lord let mee be noe longer a barren land but make mee fruitfull in good works Col 1.10 Ps 1.3 that I may be like unto a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruite in due season and then though this leafe for a time may faile though the flower of my body may be cropped or mowed for the harvest yet I know that my Redeemer will not cast it into the fire but will make it spring up hereafter in eternall glory Hee hath allso healed the persons of diverse of his people Ps 107.20 for so saith the Psalmist Hee sent his word and healed them delivered them froÌ„ their destructions Is 19.22 So Isaiah prophesieth concerning Egypt saying The Lord shall smite Egypt hee shall smite and heale it and they shall returne even to the Lord and hee shall be intreated of them and shall heale them O what comfortable words were these to Egypt Hee may if hee please cheere mee up allso with the like for hee hath allready smitten mee and in his loving kindnesse hee hath so sanctified this affliction that by it hee hath made mee to returne unto him O Lord now if it be thy pleasure be thou intreated of mee heale mee This God is the same God who speaketh by the mouth of Moses and saith See now that I Deut 32.39 even I am hee and there is noe God with mee I kill and I make alive I wound and I heale neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand This is the same Lord whom Hannah did magnifie in her thankfull Song and said The Lord killeth and maketh alive hee bringeth downe to the grave 1. Sam. 2.6 and bringeth up This is the same God of whom Iob his servant professeth and boasteth saying Hee maketh sore Iob. 5.18 and bindeth up hee woundeth and his hands make whole This is the same Lord VVhom David commandeth his soule to magnifie and saith Ps 103 1. vers 2. Blesse the Lord ô my soule and all that is within mee blesse his holy name Blesse the Lord ô my soule and forget not all his benefits Who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseafes vers 3. and who redeemeth thy life from destruction vers 4. this God is the same God who alone hath power over soule body can if hee pleaseth preserve them both Hee it is whose mercies were promised to his Church when by his Prophet hee said The light of the Moone shall be as the light of the Sunne Is 30.26 and the light of the Sunne shall bee seaven fold as the light of seaven dayes in the day that the Lord bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Hee it is who giveth such Euangelicall promises to penitent Iudah and saith I have seene his wayes and will heale him c 57.18 I will leade him allso and restore comforts to him and to his mourners I create the fruite of the lipps peace peace to him that is farre off vers 19 and to him that is neere saith the Lord and I will heale him This is hee who inviteth Israel to come unto him and saith Returne yee back-sliding Children and I will heale your backsliding
blesse you if yee be righteous vers 28 Ps 5.12 Ps 115.13 2. Tim 4.6 and â—ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield Hee will blesse them that feare him both small and greate And now my children I have not much more to say to you for the time of my departure is at hand If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other yee will be observant to your guardians and instructours yee will be courteous unto all Be not dismayed at any crosse or affliction at any losse or povertie which may fall upon you Mat 6.33 Deut 28.8 Ex 23.25 but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God and his righteousnesse and then all other things shall be added unto you Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you both in your store-houses in all that yee set your hands unto Hee shall blesse your bread and your water Deutâ— 28.3 and take away sicknesse from the midst of you Blessed shall yee be in the citty and blessed shall yee be in the field vers 4. Blessed shaâ— be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds and the fruits of your cattell and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe vers 5. Blessed shall be your basket vers 6. and your store Blessed shall yee be when yee come in and blessed shall yee beâ— when yee goe forth c. 7.13 The Lord will love youâ— and will blesse you and multiplie you buâ— will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you and the fruit of your land and your corne and your wine and your oyle and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live c. 28.12 Hee will open unto you his good treasure the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season and to blesse all the worke of your hands Gen. 49.25 and yee shall lend unto many and yee shall not borrow Hee shall helpe you and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above blessings of the deepe that lyeth under and blessings of the breasts of the wombe And that hee may thus blesse you the same Lord direct your hearts preserve you in his blessing All that I can doe now is to pray for you and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you and it is your duety allso to pray for mee The Lord graunt that wee may all doe what hee requireth at 〈◊〉 hands Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest for it is the decree of â—…y God and the longing expectation of my â—earied selfe The Lord give you patience to â—ndure this affliction and the Lord give mee â—atience and perseverance unto the end Now I goe the way of all the earth 1. King 2.2 Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God to walke in his wayes to keepe his statutes vers 3. and his commandements and his judgments and his â—estimonies as it is written in the Scriptures that yee may prosper in all that yee doe and whithersoëver yee turne your hands The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah Deut. 33.7 and â—eare your voyces and let your hands be sufficient for you and let him be an helper to you from your enemies and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin vers 12 The Lord cover you all the day long and dwell betweene your shoulders And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph vers 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven for the deaw and for the deepe that coucheth beneath vers 14 and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne vers 16 and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone and for the pretious things of the earth and fullnesse thereof and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush The eternall God be your resuge vers 27 and underneath you the everlasting armes 2. Sam. 7.26 And now ô Lord God let it please thee to blesse the house of thy servant Vers 29 and with thy blessing letâ— familie of thy servant be blessed for ever Deut. 26.15 ps 67.1 Lâ—… downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them O my God he mercifull uâ— them and blesse them and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them And now with Iacob I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you Gen. 49.33 and ready I am to gathâ—… up my feete into the bed and to yeeld up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers Onâ—… come yee neere my deere ones that I 〈◊〉 kisse you and that my cold and clammy haâ—… may be layed upon your heads that I may once more blesse you and dye Fare-well my prettie ones farewell the children of my deare affection 2. Cor. 13.11 I must leave you and I hope I shall leave my God with you who will be unto you a father of mercies and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more fare-well 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23 Love as brethren and the God of love and peace be with you The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits Grace be with you all Amen subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of a dying woman wherein is set downe her religious exercises 1 A Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 A desire of life 2 The certaintie of death 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death 3 A prayer of the sick 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God exercise 1 â—he Soliloquie wherein is set forth part 1 1. A desire of life THE EjACULATION â—sal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2 that was in Samaria and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue Herein mee thinks wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg and somethings againe hee hideth from us that so both by ouâ— knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed had not Adam transgressed and allso that by our ignorance wee may
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
speaketh better things then that of Abel Rev. 2.10 1. Cor 3.21 vers 22 vers 23 I know that if I am faithfull unto death hee will give unto mee a crowne of life I know that all things are ours so long as wee are his whether the world or life or death or things present or things to come all are ours and wee are Christ's Christ is God's Why the doe I crie out upon my paines Is any paine which I can suffer either so much as I deserve by offending my Iesus or comparable to his torments which hee suffered for mee Flesh thou hast disturbed mee all my life with thy sweete and sugered baites hast allured mee to sinne but I will drowne thee therfore in my teares Thou art allready drawen low by my sicknesse and yet because this punishment is not enough thou who wert kept from staines with curious though simple art shalt now be tumbled into the dirt from whence thou camest For the beds of downe on which thou hast stretched thy selfe thou shalt lye downe in the hard and stonie earth for the greate and spatious chamber◠which thou didst pride thy selfe in thou shalt be confined to the skantnesse narrownesse of a coffin for the curious hangings which adorned thy roomes were the costly adventures and labours of forreiners thou shalt be closely wrapped bound in thy grave-clothes and for the gallant societie which thou so cheerefully delightedst in thou shalt have the companie of nothing but wormes yea and such wormes too as thou didst loath in thy seeming prosperitie shall be at once both thine associates thy greedie devourers World thou art an imposter hast treacherously deluded mee with hopes of vanitie but now I find that thy braverie is but follie thy riches but fumes smoakes that vanish thy friendship but hatred thy pride but madnesse thy beautie but uglinesse and all thy temtations are but leaders to destruction I hate thee therfore thou vaine world and leave thee behind mee as contemning the societie of trifles so un worthy and though for a time thou mayst foole the un wise and bewitch them with the false glasses of thy seeming glory yet know thou that the time shall come when thou shalt consume in thy flames and shalt burne in a heape at the day of revenge And as for you ô yee black and uglie slaves of perdition yee hellish-criew of infernall fiends goe seeke some other to delude with your suggestions in mee yee have neither share nor hope for neither should your torments be lessened if yee could seduce mee nor shall nor can your madnesse prevaile against thy redeemed soule to increase the number of your schreeches and howlings And now ô my Iesus come come away for I am thine and thou art mine Why stayest thou so long Why delayest thou the time The longer I live I doe but the more offend thee and the more I offend thee the more doe my sorrowes burden mee for these mine offences O would it not be more for thy glory to free mee from corruption that I might sing praises to thy name without any feare of displeasing thee How long Lord how long wilt thou keepe mee from thy tryumphant quire Ps 42.2 My soule is a thirst for thee my heart panteth after thee ô when shall I come and appeare in thy presence ô my God O how truely and eagerly doe I long for death that I may live with thee who art the truth and the life Io 14.6 I know that one day dye I must but my death shall be nothing but a passage unto life for though in Adam all dye yet in thee ô Christ 1. Cor. 15.22 shall all be made a live I cry Lord I cry to thee I cry because thee I have offended to thee onely I cry because thou onely doest heare and wilt helpe to thee onely I cry because thou onely hast redeemed mee to thee ô to thee I cry to hasten to come with speede O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Dan. 9.19 Rom 7 24. Ps 22.17 O Lord heare ô Lord forgive ô Lord deliver mee from the body of this death These pale cheekes and these hollow eyes and these staring bones and this sbrivell'd skinne are now mee think's adorned with beautie because they bring mee the glad tidings of the approaches of my Redeemer This bed is hard to what I shall find in the grave these sheetes are course and un-easie to that which I shall be wound in Come ô Christ ô stay noe longer I feare thou art angrie with mee or else ere now I should have seene thy face but if thou art angry Ps 30.5 I am well assured that thy wrath endureth but the twinkling of an eye and in thy presence is life My spirit cryes come and my wearied soule cryes come and my weake limbs cry come Come therfore ô my Redeemer Come Lord Iesus Come quickly exercise 5 5. The resignation of the Soule into the hands of God THe Prophet Ieremiah admonished the house of Israel saying Give glory to the Lord your God before hee cause darknesse and before your feete stumble upon the darke mountaines and while yee looke for light and hee turne it into the shadow of death and make it grosse darknesse That glory I have given and now I doe render to the Lord my God so farre as hee in his goodnesse is pleased to enable mee And now that time is come that happy moment O Well-come blessed hower so long expected so long desired How rebellious hath beene my flesh that it held put so long and now hides it selfe under my dryed skinne and shrink's it selfe up as unwilling to yeeld Away proud dust thou canst have noe hope of a freedome from putrefaction allthough the time shall come when the Lord will glorifie thee That time I know will come indeede yea I know it assuredly Ps 56.9 Iob. 19.25 vers 26 for the Lord is on my side I know that my Redeemer liveth and that hee shall stand at the latter day upon the earth and though after my skinne wormes destroy this body vers 27 yet in my flesh I shall see God whom I shall see for my selfe and mine eyes shall behold and not other though my reines be consumed within mee I have though weakely and imperfectly endeavoured to glorifie my God before this hower approached both in the confesion to him of my grievous sinnes ah those uglie sinnes which I still grieve for am sorry for them and yet not without a certaine confidence and assurance of his mercy Lord I thanke thee for this happy hower Now I find that though the wicked is driven away in his wickednesse Pro 14 32. yet I am filled with hope in my death Wicked alas I was and woe is mee wicked I am if considered in my felfe but in thee ô Iesus I am holy in thy righteousnesse I am righteous therfore
fierce wrath and repent of this evill against thy people Is 1.26 Turne thine hand upon us and purely purge a way our drosse and take away all our tinne vers 26 Restore our Iudges as at the first and our counsellers as at the beginning and call our land the land of righteousnesse vers 27 the faithfull land Let our Zion be redeemed with judgment and our converts with righteousnesse Ps 86.17 Shew some good token upon us for good that they which hate us may see it be ashamed because thou Lord helpest and comfortest us Heare ô my God in the bowells of thy compassions close and bind up our wounds for his sake who was wounded for our transgressions pardon us for his sake who is our onely reconciliation and let the cryes which our finns have sent up to heaven for vengeance be ceased and quieted by the blessed pleading of our onely Mediatour betweene thee and us even the beloved Sonne of thy bosome Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen The Second Prayer consisting of 1 A dolefull complaint of our grievous calamities 2 An humble desire of the remission of our sinns 3 A fervent supplication for righteousnesse and peace GReate and glorious Lord God who art the Lord of hosts 1. Sam. 17.45 Exod 15.3 and God of the armies of Israel ô thou who hast styled thy selfe a man of warre whose name is the Lord Looke downe I beseech thee upon the distressed anguish consuming sorrowes of this thy people in our land of blood Thou seest Lord thou seest the afflictions of Ioseph the calamities of thy people how our blood is shed like water on every side of our Kingdome how our bones lye scattered before the pit like as when one breaketh and heweth wood upon the earth How long Lord how long just and holy shall the prayers and the teares and the cries and the supplications of thy saints and servants ascend up unto heaven and yet thou seeme unto us as a deafe man which heareth not and as a man which is dumb Ps 38.13 that openeth not his mouth Is there noe balme in Gilead Is there noe physitian there Why then is nâ—… the health of the daughter of thy people recovered Ier O the hope of Israel the saviour thereof in the time of trouble why should thou be as a stranger in our land and as way-faring man that turneth a side to tarrâ— but a night Psal Thou hast moved our land and divided it ô heale the sores thereof for it shaketh O let the sorrowfull sighing of the prisoners come before thee according to the multitude of thy mercies preserve thou those that are appointed to death Arise ô Lord from thy resting place thou and the arke of thy strength Arise and have mercy upon our Sion for it is time that thou have mercy upon her yea the time is come for why Thâ— servants thinke upon her stones and it greiveth us to see how shee lyeth downe in the dust O now at last be thou favourable and gracious to our Sion and build thou the walls of our Ierusalem Send peace within our walls and plenteousnesse within our pallaces For our brethrens and companions sake I wish this prosperitie yea because of the many houses of the faithfull who put their trust in thee our Lord our God I pray for this good Exod. 3 7. Thou o Lord hast surely seene the afflictions of this thy people and hast heard our cries by reason of the sword for thou knowest our sorrowes vers 8. O come thou downe to deliver us as once thou didst thy people of Israel from the hand of the Egyptians Thou seest how the sword is drawne in an unnatuâ—…ll manner brother against brother neighâ—our against neighbour house against house â—ather against Sonne and Sonne against Father all having weapons of warre which â—re like to destroy the nation all clothing â—hemselves in garments rolled in blood Isa 9.5 Thou seest how many amongst us thirst for blood how whole rivers thereof runne in our fields and in our streetes yet it is not in the power or pollicie of man to stoppe the current It is now o Lord with us as it was once with idolatrous Israel when Moses commanded them saying Exod. 32.27 Put every man his sword by his side and goe in and out and slay every man his brother and every man his companion and every man his neighbour Psal Thy holy temples are defiled and without thy preventing mercy our Ierusalem may be made an heape of stones Heresie and Schisme oppose the cleere light of thy glorious gospel Ps 137.7 and like the children of Edom in the day of Ierusalem they say even of truth it selfe downe with it downe with it even to the ground Many of our citties and townes doe now sitt solitarie Lam. 1 1. c 2.11 that were full of people and are become as widdowes The children and sucklings swoone in our streetes the widows make their lamentations over the gasping bodies of their wounded husbands the young ones cry for bread but some of them find neither fathers to give it theÌ„ nor mothers to compassionate them Is 33.8 The high wayes lye wast 〈◊〉 way-faring man ceaseth the line of confusâ—… is stretched out upon the land c. 34.11 the stones of eâ—…ptinesse vers 13 Thornes come up in our pallaces netâ— and brambles in our streetes and houses aâ— become habitations of dragons c. 8.21 and courts fâ— owles Some wicked ones among us that aâ— hungry Lam. 2.9 fret themselves and curse our Kinâ— and our god and looke upward The law iâ— noe more vers 10 the Prophets allso find noe visâ—… from thee the Lord. The elders sit upon the ground and keepe silence they have cast up dâ—…t upon their heads they have girded themselves with sack-cloth the virgins hâ—… downe their heads to the ground It is not noâ— as it was in the dayes of ould Luc. 7.25 when men clothâ— in soft raiment and they which were gorgeousâ— apparelled and lived delicately were in King courts Is 1.7 Our countrie is desolate our citties aâ— burnt with fire and our land is desolate as orâ— throwne by strangers Lam 5.1 Remember ô Lord who is come upon thy people consider and behold on reproach vers 2. Some of our inheritances are turned to strangers and our houses to aliants Many among us are orphans and fatherlesse vers 3. and many that were wives are become widowes Many doe get their bread with the perill of their lives vers 9. Ps 142.7 vers 6. Ps 94.19 because of the sword that maketh our land a wildernesse O Lord doe thou consider our complaint for wee are brought very low Thou ô Lord art our hope and our portion in the multitude of sorrowes which wee have in our â—…rts let thy comforts ô my God refresh our â—…les Heare ô Lord and
have mercy upon us Ps 30.11 Ps 65.2 Ps 69.34 â—ord be thou our helper O thou that hearest â—rayer thou that hearest the poore and despisest â—ot the prisoners cause thou us to fast and â—ay and reade and weepe and repent as thou â—equirest Is 58.8 that our light may breake forth as the â—orning our health may spring forth speedily â—o our righteousnesse shall goe forth before us â—he glory of thee our Lord shall be our reward Mat 2.18 Oh how dolefull is this voyce which is heard in â—ur Rama this lamentation and weeping and great mourning Rachel weeping for her children â—nd will not be comforted because they are not Al-mighty God everlasting father Is 9.6 prince of â—eace thou who didst comfort thy disciples that in thee they might have peace Io. 16.33 Gen 8.11 because in the world they should have tribulation be pleased I beseech thee in mercy to send thy dove with the olive leafe of peace into this our distressed Kingdome When thy servant Solomon dedicated his temple to thy holy worship he prayed unto thee and sayd 1 King 8.33 When thy people Israel shall be smitten downe before the enemie because they have sinned against thee and shall turne againe to thee and confesse thy name and pray vers 34 and make supplication unto thee Then heare thou in heaven and forgive the sinne of thy people Israel and bring them againe to the land which thou gavest to their fathers Heavenly father wâ— are smitten downe before our enemies anâ— that because wee have sinned against thee but by thy grace wee turne againe to the and confesse thy name and pray and makâ— our supplications to thee in thy templesâ— Heare thou us in heaven and forgive thâ— sinns of thy distressed and back-sliding Israel compose our grievous divisions and destructions Mercifull father bow downe thine eare to mee the worst of all this thine Israel who in the name of our whole nation doe here beseech thee to be pacified with this broken Kingdome smitten downe with its owne bloody and sharpest sword Make us all 〈◊〉 turne againe unto thee and pray and maâ—… our supplications unto thee more frequentâ— and more fervently then formerly wee haâ—… done that thou mayst heare us and he alt our land O thou sword of the Lord hoâ— long will it be ere thou be quiet Ier 47.6 Put up thy sell into thy skabbard rest and be still O God of peace ô Prince of peace thou and thoâ— onely it is who makest warrs to cease in all the world Ps 46.9 when so thou pleasest who breakest the bowe and knappest the speare iâ— sunder and burnest the chariots in the fire O give thou unto us thy wounded people such rest on every side 1. King 5.4 c 8.57 that wee may have neither adversarie nor evill occurrent Doe thou o Lord our God be with us as thou wert with our fathers doe not leave us nor forâ—ke us Make us incline our hearts to thee vers 58 â—d walke in thy wayes and keepe thy comâ—andements and thy statutes and thy judgâ—ents which thou commandedst our fathers Thou o God art the God of peace thou Rom 15.33 〈◊〉 Christ art the Prince of peace thou o heaâ—enly and blessed Spirit art the Dove of â—eace o thou united Trinitie give peace in his our land that wee may lie downe Lev 26 6. and â—one may make us afraid O let not the â—word any longer goe through our land but doe â—hou walke among us and be our God vers 12 and let â—s be thy people Give peace in our time 〈◊〉 Lord let the righteous flourish Ps 72.7 yea and â—boundance of peace so long as the moone endureth Give the King thy judgments vers 1. 〈◊〉 God and thy righteousnesse unto the Kings Sonnes Let the mountaines bring forth peace vers 3. and the litle hills righteousnesse unto thy people O King of Kings and Lord of Lords doe thou in mercy direct and continue our Soveraigne Lord the King in the truth and purity of our religion without inclining either to the right hand or to the left Make him allways a Royall protectour a zealous professour and a constant practiser of the same Blesse him o thou God of blessings in his Royall Person blesse him in his Consort blesse him in his Issue blesse him in his Counsellers and blesse him in all his People even froÌ„ Dan to Beersheba Be propitious ô thou wonderfull Counsellâ— in an especiall and peculiar manner unto thâ— head and members of our high and most honâ—…rable Parliament Doe thou knitt and unâ— them doe thou guide and direct them in aâ— their counsells and consultations that they maâ— unanimously joyntly conclude upon such who some lawes as may tend to the suppression oâ— wickednesse and vice and the maintenance of thy true religion and vertue rooting up all atheisne and profanenesse all herefie and superstition all schisme and faction that both church and common wealth may be religiously and firmely knitted and tyed together in the unitie of the spirit Ps 85.11 by the bond of peace Let thy truth o Goâ— of truth flourish out of the earth and righteounesse looke downe from heaven Doe thou Loâ— shew thy loving kindnesse unto thy people vers 12 〈◊〉 let our land give it's increase Let thy peopâ—… dwell in peaceable habitations Isa 32.18 and in suâ— dwellings and in quiet resting places Cauâ—… thou us to beate our swords into ploâ— shares c 2.4 and our speares into pruning-hookesâ— and suffer us not to learne such civill warâ— any more c 11.5 Let righteousnesse be the girdâ— of our loynes and faithfulnesse the girdle of our reines vers 6. Let the wolfe allso dwell with tâ— lamb and the leopard lie downe with the kiâ— and the calfe and the young lyon and the fatling together and let a litle child leadâ— them vers 8. Let a sucking child play on the hole of â—he aspe and a weaned child put his hand on the â—ockatrice denne Breake thou the bowe Hos 2.18 and the sword and the battell out of the earth and make us to lie downe safely vers 19 Betroth us unto thee for ever in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving kindnesse and in mercies O let us sit downe every one under our vines Mic 4.4 and under our fig trees let there be none en make us afraid Glory be to thee ô God in the highest Luc 2.14 Io 14.27 1. Sam. 25.6 2. Thes 3.16 Rom 5.1 Eph. 2.14 and on earth peace and good will towards men Suffer not ô eternall peace the hearts of us to be troubled neither let us be afraid Peace be both to us and peace be to our houses and peace be to all that wee have and that in and through him who is the Lord of peace Iustifie us all by faith that wee may have peace with thee