the_o godly_a and_o the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o the_o wicked_a in_o their_o death_n and_o so_o for_o ever_o unto_o all_o eternity_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n so_o much_o to_o affect_v my_o heart_n with_o it_o as_o from_o that_o time_n my_o heart_n be_v wrought_v over_o to_o a_o desire_n to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n but_o at_o that_o time_n i_o fear_v i_o do_v not_o go_v upon_o a_o right_a principle_n for_o i_o then_o do_v not_o eye_n the_o glory_n of_o god_n in_o it_o but_o only_o my_o own_o safety_n that_o it_o may_v be_v well_o with_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o quick_o after_o that_o i_o have_v but_o begin_v to_o set_v my_o face_n towards_o zion_n malice_n i_o be_v set_v upon_o with_o many_o temptation_n and_o perplexity_n in_o my_o thought_n which_o be_v very_o troublesome_a to_o i_o at_o all_o time_n but_o especial_o when_o i_o be_v alone_o the_o consideration_n whereof_o bring_v such_o a_o horror_n upon_o my_o conscience_n insomuch_o as_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o to_o do_v that_o little_a i_o have_v whether_o from_o education_n or_o from_o the_o light_n of_o nature_n cause_v a_o strive_v in_o i_o continual_o against_o those_o thought_n of_o atheism_n which_o be_v most_o terrible_a unto_o i_o i_o be_v sensible_a that_o it_o be_v a_o fearful_a sin_n to_o have_v any_o such_o thought_n to_o lodge_v within_o my_o breast_n but_o i_o desire_v from_o my_o soul_n to_o be_v free_v from_o they_o and_o have_v continual_a reason_n within_o i_o against_o they_o and_o yet_o still_o for_o a_o long_a time_n i_o be_v trouble_v but_o can_v not_o acquaint_v any_o with_o my_o condition_n i_o do_v not_o think_v that_o it_o be_v so_o with_o any_o other_o as_o it_o be_v with_o i_o in_o this_o strait_a mercy_n when_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v i_o even_o there_o do_v the_o lord_n extend_v his_o compassion_n towards_o i_o in_o my_o great_a extremity_n in_o direct_v i_o to_o read_v calvin_n institution_n and_o especial_o that_o part_n that_o treat_v of_o the_o creation_n whereupon_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o such_o satisfaction_n to_o my_o soul_n concern_v those_o thing_n about_o which_o i_o be_v trouble_v as_o that_o from_o that_o time_n forward_o i_o be_v not_o violent_o assault_v in_o that_o kind_n but_o no_o soon_o be_v i_o free_v from_o that_o trouble_n but_o new_a one_o spring_v up_o for_o the_o very_a remembrance_n of_o that_o horrid_a sin_n of_o atheism_n subtlety_n leave_v such_o a_o terror_n upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o make_v i_o fear_v that_o i_o have_v commit_v that_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o so_o my_o condition_n seem_v to_o be_v not_o only_o for_o the_o present_a but_z in_o my_o apprehension_n then_o for_o ever_o most_o miserable_a all_o other_o sin_n though_o never_o so_o great_a i_o know_v upon_o true_a repentance_n be_v pardonable_a but_o this_o sin_n that_o i_o lay_v under_o the_o fear_n of_o i_o know_v out_o of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n shall_v never_o be_v pardon_v which_o cause_v many_o sad_a fear_n upon_o my_o spirit_n know_v to_o god_n alone_o for_o the_o removal_n of_o these_o fear_n mercy_n the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n direct_v i_o to_o the_o read_n of_o mr._n scudder_n work_n where_o be_v lay_v down_o the_o mark_n of_o that_o sin_n upon_o perusal_n whereof_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o satisfy_v my_o misgive_a heart_n by_o a_o clear_a manifestation_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v not_o commit_v that_o sin_n and_o so_o assure_v i_o that_o though_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a yet_o be_v they_o pardonable_a which_o put_v i_o more_o cheerful_o upon_o the_o use_n of_o such_o mean_n as_o the_o lord_n have_v direct_v i_o unto_o and_o have_v satisfaction_n give_v in_o concern_v this_o particular_a there_o be_v a_o great_a burden_n take_v off_o from_o my_o spirit_n although_o i_o find_v no_o grace_n in_o my_o heart_n nor_o discovery_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n unto_o my_o soul_n yet_o in_o that_o there_o be_v but_o a_o possibility_n there_o be_v a_o ground_n of_o comfort_n administer_v to_o my_o heart_n which_o i_o former_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v shut_v out_o from_o but_o still_o my_o fear_n remain_v that_o i_o be_v not_o one_o of_o those_o in_o particular_a for_o who_o christ_n die_v the_o more_o i_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n the_o more_o i_o see_v of_o sin_n and_o satan_n discourage_v i_o from_o have_v any_o hope_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v accept_v of_o such_o a_o vile_a sinful_a wretch_n as_o i_o be_v who_o have_v entertain_v such_o sinful_a thought_n i_o likewise_o think_v how_o small_a the_o number_n be_v of_o those_o that_o shall_v be_v save_v in_o comparison_n of_o other_o and_o my_o repentance_n i_o fear_v come_v short_a of_o that_o which_o be_v require_v in_o the_o gospel_n as_o for_o faith_n i_o can_v not_o find_v the_o least_o measure_n of_o it_o in_o my_o soul_n with_o many_o other_o sad_a discourage_a thought_n but_o when_o i_o be_v most_o perplex_v with_o fear_n and_o doubt_n even_o than_o do_v the_o lord_n gracious_o dart_v in_o some_o beam_n of_o his_o reconcile_a countenance_n as_o i_o be_v read_v something_o in_o mr._n scudder_n christian_n daily_o walk_v etc._n etc._n which_o the_o lord_n set_v home_o upon_o my_o soul_n joy_n and_o bring_v into_o my_o soul_n so_o much_o joy_n and_o comfort_n at_o the_o present_a as_o neither_o my_o tongue_n nor_o pen_n can_v express_v but_o this_o joy_n remain_v not_o long_o for_o i_o quick_o lose_v the_o sense_n of_o it_o yet_o the_o remembrance_n of_o it_o be_v sweet_a unto_o i_o at_o all_o time_n but_o after_o this_o all_o my_o former_a fear_n return_v afresh_o again_o upon_o my_o heart_n only_o i_o have_v a_o door_n of_o hope_n open_v that_o when_o god_n see_v it_o best_o for_o i_o he_o will_v return_v and_o renew_v his_o reconcile_a countenance_n unto_o my_o soul_n in_o the_o clear_a light_n and_o apprehension_n thereof_o and_o this_o be_v when_o i_o be_v about_o sixteen_o year_n of_o age_n after_o which_o time_n the_o lord_n do_v exercise_v i_o with_o various_a dispensation_n for_o for_o two_o year_n space_n i_o be_v by_o providence_n cast_v upon_o a_o place_n where_o i_o hear_v very_o little_a powerful_a preach_v small_a help_n for_o the_o good_a of_o my_o soul_n but_o what_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o by_o the_o use_n of_o private_a mean_n but_o his_o power_n and_o abundant_a mercy_n be_v much_o see_v in_o that_o time_n that_o though_o i_o have_v not_o much_o comfort_n meanâ—_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o keep_v up_o my_o spirit_n in_o a_o way_n of_o depend_v upon_o he_o and_o my_o fear_n be_v less_o at_o that_o time_n than_o former_o when_o i_o have_v more_o help_n so_o gracious_a be_v tâ—â—_n lord_n unto_o i_o in_o keep_v i_o alive_a in_o a_o time_n of_o famine_n after_o this_o through_o god_n goodness_n i_o be_v sometime_o under_o the_o preach_n of_o a_o powerful_a minister_n mr._n bateman_n of_o ockingam_n who_o be_v crown_v with_o the_o conversion_n providence_n strengthen_v and_o build_v up_o of_o many_o soul_n unto_o who_o preach_v the_o lord_n give_v i_o such_o a_o blessing_n as_o i_o seldom_o if_o ever_o go_v away_o from_o hear_v he_o without_o comfort_n though_o i_o come_v to_o hear_v he_o with_o many_o doubt_n upon_o my_o spirit_n yet_o the_o lord_n so_o rule_v and_o direct_v he_o as_o if_o his_o sermon_n have_v be_v only_o concern_v my_o particular_a and_o he_o full_o acquaint_v with_o the_o whole_a condition_n of_o my_o soul._n sometime_o the_o lord_n direct_v i_o to_o some_o support_a promise_n upon_o which_o i_o rely_v but_o those_o promise_n which_o be_v make_v to_o believer_n though_o i_o high_o prize_v they_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o apply_v they_o to_o myself_o fear_v that_o i_o have_v no_o interest_n in_o they_o but_o that_o promise_n prov._n 28._o 13._o he_o that_o confess_v promise_n and_o forsake_v his_o sin_n shall_v find_v mercy_n and_o that_o 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o if_o we_o confess_v our_o sin_n he_o be_v faithful_a and_o just_a to_o forgive_v we_o our_o sin_n and_o to_o cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o unrighteousness_n and_o the_o promise_n be_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o if_o any_o man_n sin_n we_o have_v a_o advocate_n with_o the_o father_n jesus_n christ_n the_o righteous_a and_o he_o be_v the_o propitiation_n for_o our_o sin_n and_o not_o for_o we_o only_o but_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o the_o invitation_n isa._n 55._o 1._o ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o buy_v and_o eat_v yea_o come_v buy_v wine_n and_o milk_n without_o money_n and_o without_o price_n together_o with_o
into_o that_o better_a world_n which_o she_o so_o much_o long_v after_o often_o profess_v that_o there_o be_v nothing_o that_o can_v tempt_v she_o to_o wish_v for_o life_n but_o the_o breed_n up_o of_o her_o little_a one_o which_o yet_o now_o she_o be_v the_o less_o solicitous_a about_o because_o she_o can_v leave_v they_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o their_o tender_a and_o careful_a father_n not_o doubt_v as_o old_a die_a jacob_n say_v when_o he_o be_v blessing_n the_o two_o son_n of_o joseph_n gen._n 48._o 15._o 16._o that_o that_o god_n which_o have_v feed_v she_o all_o her_o life_n long_o until_o that_o day_n and_o the_o angel_n which_o have_v redeem_v she_o from_o all_o evil_a will_v bless_v they_o and_o now_o find_v herself_o arrest_v by_o the_o messenger_n of_o death_n and_o her_o body_n like_o the_o house_n of_o saul_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a but_o her_o soul_n like_o the_o house_n of_o david_n wax_v strong_a and_o strong_a take_v high_a flight_n and_o make_v near_a approach_n to_o god_n that_o give_v it_o when_o her_o husband_n come_v to_o she_o as_o he_o do_v frequent_o he_o continual_o admonish_v and_o mind_v she_o of_o the_o gracious_a promise_n of_o mercy_n in_o christ_n and_o of_o faith_n in_o he_o and_o desire_v she_o to_o be_v strengthen_v and_o comfort_v in_o they_o her_o answer_n be_v she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o comfort_n she_o find_v the_o comfort_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o she_o and_o very_o believe_v she_o shall_v see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n psal._n 45._o 13._o ever_o and_o anon_o say_v i_o be_o comfort_v god_n spirit_n be_v in_o i_o which_o make_v i_o endure_v my_o sickness_n and_o more_o pain_n than_o you_o can_v think_v of_o so_o comfortable_o as_o i_o do_v when_o she_o know_v of_o none_o by_o her_o usual_a prayer_n be_v lord_n look_v down_o upon_o i_o in_o thy_o mercy_n lord_n forgive_v i_o my_o sin_n lord_n assist_v i_o with_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n lord_n thou_o have_v assure_v i_o of_o the_o forgiveness_n of_o my_o sin_n lord_n assist_v i_o still_o with_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n and_o many_o time_n pass_v the_o whole_a night_n without_o sleep_n she_o spend_v that_o time_n in_o these_o and_o the_o like_a heavenly_a prayer_n and_o ejaculation_n in_o which_o her_o husband_n and_o those_o which_o attend_v she_o continual_o still_o find_v she_o when_o they_o come_v to_o she_o never_o man_n have_v a_o more_o faithful_a wife_n dear_a and_o love_a wife_n or_o more_o careful_a of_o what_o concern_v he_o than_o himself_o and_o more_o tender_a of_o any_o thing_n say_v or_o do_v against_o he_o than_o if_o it_o have_v be_v say_v or_o do_v against_o herself_o and_o when_o he_o seem_v to_o lament_v the_o loss_n he_o shall_v have_v if_o god_n take_v she_o from_o he_o she_o meek_o answer_v we_o come_v not_o into_o the_o world_n together_o and_o therefore_o may_v not_o look_v to_o go_v out_o together_o when_o he_o reply_v that_o it_o will_v be_v much_o better_a for_o their_o child_n if_o he_o go_v first_o as_o by_o the_o course_n of_o nature_n be_v most_o likely_a she_o say_v that_o he_o can_v do_v much_o better_a for_o the_o child_n than_o she_o can_v and_o thank_v god_n for_o that_o she_o can_v now_o leave_v they_o with_o he_o for_o the_o space_n of_o three_o week_n she_o keep_v her_o bed_n and_o about_o a_o fortnight_n before_o her_o death_n be_v surprise_v with_o a_o faint_a fit_n in_o which_o she_o be_v like_a to_o depart_v and_o thereby_o perceive_v that_o earth_n will_v sudden_o return_v to_o the_o earth_n whence_o it_o come_v that_o her_o soul_n may_v be_v the_o better_a wing_a and_o prepare_v for_o a_o return_n to_o god_n that_o give_v it_o she_o desire_v that_o all_o the_o family_n may_v be_v call_v up_o and_o join_v in_o prayer_n with_o and_o for_o she_o at_o which_o time_n observe_v the_o grief_n and_o passion_n of_o her_o husband_n and_o those_o that_o be_v present_a express_v plentiful_o by_o tear_n from_o their_o eye_n she_o beseech_v he_o and_o they_o not_o to_o grieve_v and_o lament_v for_o her_o happiness_n about_o that_o time_n a_o reverend_a person_n come_v to_o visit_v her_o husband_n he_o solicit_v he_o to_o enlarge_v that_o great_a act_n of_o favour_n unto_o he_o by_o a_o great_a act_n of_o charity_n to_o his_o wife_n by_o visit_v she_o also_o who_o god_n now_o visit_v with_o sickness_n as_o also_o to_o pray_v with_o and_o administer_v some_o comfort_n unto_o she_o which_o he_o most_o willing_o condescend_v unto_o and_o have_v take_v a_o strict_a account_n of_o her_o faith_n in_o christ_n and_o hope_n of_o a_o better_a life_n he_o leave_v she_o with_o his_o fatherly_a benediction_n top_n full_a of_o comfort_n and_o when_o she_o be_v afterward_o tell_v that_o he_o come_v out_o of_o respect_n and_o kindness_n to_o visit_v her_o husband_n she_o say_v no_o but_o god_n have_v send_v he_o for_o her_o comfort_n often_o acknowledge_v the_o consolation_n which_o she_o have_v find_v by_o he_o when_o any_o come_v to_o visit_v she_o in_o the_o time_n of_o her_o sickness_n at_o the_o part_n she_o desire_v they_o to_o pray_v for_o she_o and_o often_o send_v messenger_n and_o cause_v letter_n to_o be_v direct_v to_o her_o friend_n in_o london_n to_o pray_v for_o she_o for_o that_o she_o be_v now_o prepare_v for_o another_o world_n when_o she_o be_v sometime_o desire_v for_o she_o child_n sake_n to_o cheer_v up_o herself_o faith_n her_o answer_n be_v that_o to_o leave_v they_o do_v not_o trouble_v she_o because_o she_o be_v assure_v that_o god_n will_v provide_v for_o they_o add_v that_o she_o will_v willing_o leave_v husband_n child_n and_o all_o to_o go_v to_o christ_n which_o be_v just_o the_o mind_n of_o that_o bless_a martyr_n ignatius_n befall_v i_o say_v he_o what_o will_v or_o can_v so_o i_o may_v enjoy_v jesus_n christ_n my_o love_n my_o life_n that_o be_v crucify_v for_o i_o or_o rather_o st._n paul_n case_n express_v in_o that_o most_o elegant_a barbarism_n phil._n 1._o 23._o desire_v to_o be_v with_o christ_n which_o be_v multo_fw-la magis_fw-la melius_fw-la much_o more_o better_a and_o now_o find_v the_o day_n of_o her_o life_n waste_v to_o the_o evening_n prayer_n and_o ready_a to_o die_v into_o night_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n before_o her_o death_n she_o desire_v the_o prayer_n of_o the_o congregation_n in_o the_o parish_n where_o she_o live_v be_v well_o assure_v as_o she_o say_v that_o many_o good_a people_n will_v pray_v hearty_o for_o she_o after_o which_o some_o come_n to_o visit_v she_o and_o exhort_v she_o to_o patience_n and_o to_o remember_v the_o affliction_n of_o job_n she_o answer_v that_o she_o have_v have_v her_o part_n in_o his_o affliction_n god_n have_v give_v her_o luctuosam_fw-la foecunditatem_fw-la affliction_n as_o st._n jerom_n say_v of_o laeta_n a_o sad_a and_o sorrowful_a fruitfulness_n take_v away_o seven_o of_o her_o child_n in_o their_o minority_n so_o that_o she_o as_o hanna_n speak_v in_o her_o song_n 1_o sam._n 2._o 5._o that_o have_v bear_v seven_o wax_v feeble_a yet_o she_o comfort_v herself_o with_o this_o hope_n that_o they_o be_v in_o heaven_n before_o she_o and_o hope_v that_o they_o will_v be_v lamp_n to_o lead_v she_o to_o heaven_n for_o she_o assure_v herself_o that_o they_o follow_v the_o lamb_n whithersoever_o he_o go_v and_o for_o those_o two_o which_o be_v yet_o alive_a she_o thank_v god_n for_o that_o she_o see_v no_o ill_a quality_n in_o they_o beside_o she_o say_v that_o god_n have_v take_v away_o her_o good_n from_o she_o but_o have_v give_v her_o patience_n which_o to_o she_o be_v of_o more_o value_n and_o she_o esteem_v it_o above_o they_o all_o know_v that_o god_n be_v able_a to_o restore_v all_o when_o he_o please_v she_o often_o acknowledge_v god_n goodness_n to_o she_o in_o send_v she_o a_o mild_a sickness_n and_o not_o take_v she_o away_o with_o some_o sudden_a stroke_n as_o he_o do_v the_o wife_n of_o ezekiel_n chap._n 24._o 16._o or_o by_o some_o torment_a disease_n as_o he_o be_v please_v to_o visit_v some_o of_o his_o dear_a one_o acknowledge_v the_o wonderful_a mercy_n of_o god_n to_o she_o therein_o a_o week_n before_o her_o death_n child_n she_o call_v her_o elder_a daughter_n to_o she_o be_v to_o go_v from_o she_o to_o school_n at_o putney_n and_o put_v her_o hand_n on_o her_o shoulder_n she_o say_v to_o she_o i_o give_v you_o that_o blessing_n which_o my_o mother_n give_v i_o at_o her_o death_n the_o god_n of_o abraham_n the_o god_n of_o isaac_n and_o the_o god_n of_o jacob_n bless_v you_o and_o then_o add_v the_o blessing_n which_o aaron_n by_o god_n own_o appointment_n be_v to_o give_v the_o child_n of_o israel_n the_o lord_n bless_v thou_o and_o keep_v thou_o
the_o lord_n make_v his_o face_n shine_v upon_o thou_o and_o be_v gracious_a unto_o thou_o the_o lord_n lift_v up_o his_o countenance_n upon_o thou_o and_o give_v thou_o peace_n and_o bid_v she_o serve_v god_n and_o pray_v due_o to_o he_o both_o morning_n and_o evening_n and_o fear_v his_o name_n and_o then_o say_v she_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o god_n will_v bless_v you_o as_o he_o have_v bless_v i_o in_o the_o evening_n of_o the_o same_o day_n she_o command_v she_o young_a daughter_n to_o be_v bring_v she_o and_o to_o be_v put_v upon_o the_o bed_n in_o a_o kneel_a posture_n and_o then_o put_v her_o hand_n on_o her_o shoulder_n she_o give_v she_o also_o the_o same_o blessing_n as_o she_o have_v give_v to_o her_o sister_n four_o day_n before_o her_o death_n she_o grow_v a_o little_a better_o which_o put_v her_o friend_n in_o some_o hope_n of_o her_o recovery_n but_o the_o day_n follow_v her_o sickness_n seize_v on_o she_o again_o and_o so_o continue_v upon_o she_o that_o she_o sleep_v 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comfort_n and_o assurance_n of_o everlasting_a life_n as_o before_o and_o with_o increase_n and_o therein_o and_o in_o prayer_n they_o continue_v till_o near_o the_o rise_n of_o the_o sun_n after_o this_o she_o seem_v for_o a_o wh'le_v willing_a to_o slumber_v and_o close_v her_o eye_n and_o so_o lie_v for_o a_o little_a while_n but_o then_o turn_v her_o head_n to_o the_o other_o side_n of_o the_o pillow_n and_o after_o a_o few_o restless_a turn_n she_o say_v what_o the_o prophet_n micha_n have_v say_v before_o she_o mich._n 2._o 10._o there_o be_v no_o rest_n in_o this_o world_n and_o then_o open_v her_o eye_n after_o some_o expression_n of_o the_o comfort_n which_o she_o feel_v distinct_o know_v all_o that_o be_v present_a and_o speak_v to_o they_o all_o she_o seem_v to_o slumber_v again_o and_o after_o a_o little_a time_n speak_v these_o word_n come_v let_v we_o go_v let_v we_o go_v repeat_v those_o word_n several_a time_n which_o she_o speak_v not_o in_o a_o slumber_n but_o be_v awake_a and_o as_o perfect_v in_o her_o understanding_n and_o memory_n as_o at_o any_o time_n in_o her_o life_n and_o it_o be_v a_o comforttable_a opinion_n that_o divine_v teach_v from_o luke_n 16._o 22._o that_o the_o angel_n do_v attend_v on_o god_n child_n especial_o at_o the_o time_n of_o their_o dissolution_n to_o conduct_v their_o soul_n from_o earth_n to_o heaven_n which_o opinion_n she_o sometime_o in_o her_o sickness_n relate_v to_o her_o husband_n and_o add_v that_o she_o have_v hear_v it_o from_o the_o pulpit_n and_o have_v read_v it_o in_o some_o book_n and_o she_o believe_v it_o to_o be_v true_a and_o comfort_v herself_o with_o it_o after_o a_o little_a time_n she_o call_v for_o some_o drink_n and_o have_v take_v it_o it_o begin_v to_o alter_v she_o as_o it_o seem_v she_o feel_v in_o herself_o for_o she_o present_o lay_v herself_o back_o on_o her_o pillow_n and_o lift_v up_o her_o eye_n towards_o heaven_n she_o say_v lord_n have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o lord_n jesus_n receive_v my_o soul_n and_o so_o continue_v move_v her_o lip_n and_o her_o tongue_n but_o her_o word_n be_v not_o hear_v and_o then_o hold_v up_o one_o hand_n and_o then_o join_v both_o her_o hand_n together_o hold_v they_o up_o with_o her_o eye_n still_o heaven-ward_n till_o her_o strength_n fail_v she_o she_o lay_v down_o her_o hand_n by_o she_o and_o stretch_v herself_o in_o the_o bed_n without_o any_o help_n and_o sweet_o fall_v asleep_a about_o seven_o a_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n death_n august_n the_o 15._o anno_fw-la christi_fw-la 1646._o and_o august_n the_o 24._o she_o be_v decent_o and_o solemn_o lay_v in_o her_o bed_n of_o rest_n the_o house_n as_o job_n say_v appoint_v for_o all_o the_o live_n job_n 30._o 23._o where_o the_o weary_a be_v at_o rest_n where_o the_o wicked_a cease_v from_o trouble_v and_o hear_v not_o the_o voice_n of_o the_o oppressor_n job_n 3._o 17_o 18._o the_o life_n and_o death_n of_o mrs._n margaret_n corbet_n who_o die_v anno_fw-la christi_fw-la 1656._o if_o we_o inquire_v into_o the_o relation_n of_o this_o gentlewoman_n parentage_n either_o by_o affinity_n or_o consanguinity_n or_o both_o side_n the_o family_n be_v ancient_a of_o renown_n and_o good_a reputation_n concern_v the_o family_n from_o whence_o she_o be_v descend_v her_o father_n be_v sir_n nathaniel_n brent_n late_a warden_n of_o merton_n college_n a_o learned_a knight_n who_o great_a pain_n and_o dangerous_a adventure_n to_o procure_v the_o history_n of_o the_o council_n of_o trent_n which_o he_o translate_v into_o english_a be_v to_o be_v remember_v with_o a_o honourable_a mention_n and_o for_o his_o faithful_a discovery_n of_o jesuitical_a juggle_n his_o name_n will_v be_v have_v in_o honour_n when_o the_o name_n of_o the_o popish_a party_n will_v rot_v her_o mother_n the_o lady_n martha_n brent_n be_v a_o lady_n of_o a_o gracious_a spirit_n abound_v in_o love_n meekness_n humility_n love_v to_o god_n ordinance_n and_o god_n child_n her_o delight_n with_o david_n be_v in_o the_o society_n of_o saint_n she_o imitate_v her_o worthy_a father_n in_o the_o sweetness_n of_o disposition_n who_o be_v dr._n robert_n abbot_n that_o learned_a and_o godly_a bishop_n of_o sarum_n who_o be_v malleus_fw-la baptismi_fw-la &_o armianismi_n the_o hammer_n of_o popery_n and_o arminianism_n his_o excellent_a work_n or_o monument_n of_o his_o honourable_a memory_n to_o be_v bear_v of_o a_o godly_a family_n and_o to_o be_v well_o descend_v be_v a_o mercy_n not_o to_o be_v neglect_v mr._n philpot_n a_o zealous_a martyr_n be_v a_o king_n son_n and_o a_o archdeacon_n tell_v his_o adversary_n that_o he_o be_v a_o gentleman_n anabaptistical_a parity_n and_o level_v design_n be_v worthy_o to_o be_v abhor_v and_o look_v upon_o as_o a_o ready_a way_n to_o confusion_n rapine_n and_o violence_n so_o then_o we_o see_v that_o she_o be_v a_o gentlewoman_n every_o way_n well_o descend_v her_o ancestor_n be_v person_n of_o honour_n and_o from_o they_o she_o have_v the_o benefit_n of_o a_o ingenuous_a and_o liberal_a education_n this_o be_v much_o but_o it_o be_v more_o when_o i_o say_v that_o she_o come_v of_o a_o godly_a stock_n and_o of_o pray_v relation_n and_o indeed_o this_o be_v that_o which_o ennoble_v nobility_n itself_o god_n in_o mercy_n begin_v with_o this_o gentlewoman_n betimes_o conversion_n even_o about_o the_o fourteen_o year_n of_o her_o age_n then_o god_n give_v she_o a_o willing_a mind_n and_o purpose_n of_o heart_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o day_n of_o her_o youth_n insomuch_o as_o she_o be_v swift_a to_o hear_v the_o word_n of_o god_n she_o wait_v diligent_o at_o the_o post_n of_o wisdom_n gate_n she_o write_v the_o sermon_n which_o she_o hear_v a_o practice_n use_v by_o king_n edward_n the_o six_o that_o rare_a english_a josiah_n and_o she_o leave_v many_o volume_n of_o sermon_n of_o her_o own_o hand-writing_n take_v with_o great_a dexterity_n and_o these_o be_v as_o so_o many_o choice_n monument_n of_o her_o industry_n she_o 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the_o rest_n of_o the_o chapter_n all_o those_o place_n the_o lord_n often_o make_v a_o stay_n unto_o my_o soul_n and_o afterward_o the_o lord_n so_o bless_v one_o mean_n or_o other_o unto_o i_o insomuch_o as_o i_o be_v keep_v from_o sink_v and_o fall_v into_o such_o horror_n as_o many_o of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n sometime_o fall_v into_o but_o yet_o my_o fear_n and_o doubt_n be_v so_o many_o as_o that_o my_o comfort_n never_o last_v long_o doubt_n if_o the_o lord_n do_v but_o hide_v his_o face_n i_o be_v trouble_v no_o long_o can_v i_o believe_v than_o i_o find_v new_a strength_n give_v in_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v ever_o have_v mercy_n upon_o my_o soul._n the_o sense_n of_o original_a sin_n and_o actual_a transgression_n in_o their_o filthiness_n and_o guiltiness_n cause_v my_o fear_n yet_o to_o remain_v upon_o my_o spirit_n my_o faith_n then_o seem_v very_o small_a if_o i_o have_v any_o which_o i_o much_o question_v i_o dare_v not_o then_o say_v lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n but_o i_o can_v cry_v earnest_o lord_n work_n faith_n in_o i_o i_o find_v much_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n manifold_a distraction_n in_o duty_n so_o that_o god_n may_v just_o have_v withdraw_v himself_o from_o i_o for_o ever_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o uneven_a walk_n with_o god_n he_o be_v gracious_o please_v to_o manifest_v his_o mercy_n unto_o my_o soul._n when_o i_o be_v strike_v with_o such_o weakness_n as_o i_o apprehend_v may_v quick_o have_v end_v my_o life_n i_o fall_v into_o a_o great_a fear_n at_o the_o first_o find_v my_o heart_n to_o sink_v the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o gâ—ive_v i_o so_o much_o respite_n as_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o he_o desire_v strength_n and_o support_v from_o he_o to_o keep_v up_o my_o spirit_n and_o to_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o submit_v to_o his_o dispensation_n and_o the_o lord_n gracious_o answer_v my_o prayer_n in_o that_o he_o remove_v all_o my_o former_a doubt_n answer_v and_o fear_v all_o the_o time_n of_o that_o 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he_o twice_o believe_v i_o find_v it_o the_o hard_a thing_n to_o believe_v that_o ever_o i_o go_v about_o but_o this_o waver_a condition_n can_v not_o satisfy_v my_o soul_n for_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o sometime_o a_o glimpse_n of_o his_o love_n make_v i_o long_o after_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o it_o so_o that_o i_o be_v carry_v out_o with_o a_o restless_a impatience_n to_o beg_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o unbelief_n from_o i_o which_o do_v both_o dishonour_n he_o and_o hinder_v i_o from_o that_o peace_n which_o the_o lord_n be_v willing_a that_o his_o people_n shall_v enjoy_v my_o heart_n then_o be_v bring_v unto_o that_o frame_n i_o be_v more_o willing_a than_o ever_o i_o be_v before_o to_o impart_v my_o condition_n unto_o some_o spiritual_a friend_n friend_n who_o i_o desire_v to_o deal_v impartial_o with_o i_o acquaint_v they_o with_o the_o whole_a condition_n of_o my_o soul_n how_o far_o the_o lord_n have_v carry_v i_o on_o and_o at_o what_o i_o stick_v and_o still_o as_o new_a objection_n do_v arise_v i_o labour_v to_o get_v satisfaction_n be_v convince_v that_o i_o have_v too_o much_o prejudice_v myself_o in_o that_o i_o have_v not_o soon_o make_v my_o condition_n know_v to_o some_o who_o be_v able_a to_o give_v i_o advice_n this_o way_n of_o communicate_v my_o condition_n comfort_n i_o find_v the_o lord_n bless_v unto_o my_o soul_n insomuch_o that_o my_o hope_n be_v more_o confirm_v my_o fear_n more_o remove_v my_o faith_n more_o strengthen_v and_o by_o the_o hear_n of_o such_o sermon_n and_o read_v such_o book_n as_o come_v close_a unto_o the_o conscience_n and_o be_v most_o for_o trial_n of_o one_o spiritual_a condition_n i_o find_v the_o great_a benefit_n by_o and_o receive_v the_o most_o comfort_n from_o they_o former_o i_o have_v many_o fear_n that_o i_o be_v not_o one_o of_o they_o who_o have_v a_o interest_n in_o the_o election_n of_o grace_n but_o the_o lord_n afterward_o put_v into_o my_o heart_n to_o inquire_v whether_o i_o have_v those_o grace_n of_o his_o spirit_n wrought_v in_o i_o which_o none_o but_o his_o own_o elect_a people_n can_v have_v upon_o the_o strict_a search_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v after_o many_o year_n of_o fear_n at_o last_o to_o evidence_n unto_o my_o soul_n that_o there_o be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o my_o heart_n self-examination_n will_n and_o affection_n notwithstanding_o the_o remainder_n of_o sin_n and_o corruption_n which_o still_o encompass_v i_o about_o be_v confident_a that_o he_o that_o have_v begin_v this_o good_a work_n will_v not_o leave_v it_o unfinished_a unto_o the_o day_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v home_o divers_a promise_n for_o the_o strengthen_n of_o my_o faith_n faith_n to_o wit_n those_o which_o set_v down_o the_o everlasting_a covenant_n 2_o sam._n 23._o 5._o the_o everlasting_a love_n of_o god_n jer._n 31._o 3._o joh._n 11._o 13._o the_o certainty_n of_o the_o foundation_n 2_o tim._n 2._o 19_o the_o certainty_n of_o the_o promise_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 20._o they_o be_v all_o in_o christ_n yea_o and_o amen_o and_o that_o the_o child_n of_o god_n have_v eternal_a life_n promise_v unto_o they_o and_o that_o none_o shall_v be_v ever_o able_a to_o pluck_v they_o out_o of_o christ_n hand_n joh._n 10._o 28._o then_o for_o divers_a year_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o stay_v i_o to_o lead_v and_o guide_v i_o till_o he_o have_v set_v my_o foot_n upon_o that_o rock_n which_o be_v high_o than_o i_o from_o whence_o i_o trust_v that_o i_o shall_v never_o be_v remove_v and_o now_o my_o heart_n desire_v be_v to_o ascribe_v that_o measure_n of_o hope_n and_o comfort_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o at_o any_o time_n only_o unto_o the_o praise_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o grace_n who_o have_v make_v i_o accept_v in_o his_o belove_a thankfulness_n which_o be_v so_o great_a a_o mercy_n as_o i_o can_v never_o be_v thankful_a enough_o for_o nor_o walk_v answerable_a thereunto_o i_o know_v when_o i_o look_v into_o my_o heart_n there_o be_v matter_n of_o fear_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v withdraw_v the_o influence_n of_o his_o comfort_n from_o i_o but_o that_o which_o i_o rest_v upon_o be_v the_o free_a mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n expect_v performance_n of_o his_o promise_n make_v rom._n 6._o 16._o sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o because_o you_o be_v not_o under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n and_o ezek._n 36._o 25._o that_o he_o will_v sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o i_o and_o that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o a_o new_a heart_n and_o put_v a_o new_a spirit_n within_o i_o that_o he_o will_v take_v away_o my_o stony_a heart_n and_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n be_v persuade_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v keep_v i_o by_o his_o own_o power_n through_o faith_n unto_o salvation_n and_o now_o that_o i_o may_v have_v all_o the_o grace_n of_o the_o spirit_n strengthen_v and_o increase_v in_o i_o which_o i_o find_v that_o i_o stand_v in_o continual_a need_n of_o it_o be_v the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o be_v a_o partaker_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n which_o through_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n only_o i_o have_v right_a unto_o this_o be_v the_o particular_a account_n of_o god_n gracious_a deal_n with_o this_o godly_a gentlewoman_n consider_v there_o be_v no_o administration_n of_o the_o sacrament_n in_o that_o parochial_a congregation_n where_o she_o live_v and_o use_v former_o to_o receive_v it_o nor_o any_o pastor_n at_o all_o to_o officiate_v there_o she_o be_v desirous_a to_o enjoy_v that_o great_a ordinance_n and_o that_o after_o a_o pure_a way_n of_o administration_n send_v this_o aforementioned_a narrative_n
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of_o mr._n william_n perkins_n of_o bless_a memory_n but_o the_o motion_n and_o stir_n of_o his_o heart_n which_o then_o be_v he_o suppress_v think_v that_o if_o he_o shall_v trouble_v himself_o with_o matter_n of_o religion_n according_a to_o the_o light_n he_o have_v then_o receive_v it_o will_v be_v a_o hindrance_n to_o he_o in_o his_o study_n which_o then_o he_o have_v much_o addict_v himself_o unto_o therefore_o he_o be_v willing_a to_o silence_v those_o suggestion_n and_o inward_a calling_n which_o he_o have_v from_o god_n spirit_n and_o do_v witting_o defer_v the_o prosecution_n of_o that_o work_n until_o afterward_o at_o length_n as_o he_o be_v walk_v in_o the_o field_n he_o hear_v the_o bell_n toll_v for_o mr._n perkins_n who_o lie_v a_o die_a whereupon_o he_o be_v secret_o glad_a in_o his_o heart_n that_o he_o shall_v now_o be_v rid_v of_o he_o who_o have_v as_o he_o say_v lay_v siege_n to_o and_o beleaguer_v his_o heart_n this_o become_v matter_n of_o much_o affliction_n to_o he_o afterward_o god_n keep_v it_o upon_o his_o spirit_n with_o the_o aggravation_n of_o it_o and_o make_v it_o a_o effectual_a mean_n of_o convince_a and_o humble_v he_o in_o the_o sight_n and_o sense_n of_o the_o natural_a enmity_n that_o be_v in_o man_n nature_n against_o god_n afterwards_o hear_v dr._n sib_n then_o mr._n sib_n preach_v a_o sermon_n about_o regeneration_n wherein_o he_o show_v first_o what_o regeneration_n be_v not_o and_o so_o open_v the_o state_n of_o a_o mere_a civil_a man_n mr._n cotton_n see_v his_o own_o condition_n full_o discover_v which_o through_o god_n mercy_n do_v drive_v he_o to_o a_o stand_n as_o plain_o see_v himself_o destitute_a of_o true_a grace_n all_o his_o false_a hope_n and_o ground_n now_o fail_v he_o and_o so_o he_o lie_v for_o a_o long_a time_n in_o a_o uncomfortable_a despair_a way_n and_o of_o all_o other_o thing_n this_o be_v his_o heavy_a burden_n that_o he_o have_v witting_o withstand_v the_o mean_n and_o offer_v of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n which_o he_o find_v have_v be_v tender_v to_o he_o thus_o he_o continue_v till_o it_o please_v god_n to_o let_v in_o a_o word_n of_o faith_n into_o his_o heart_n and_o to_o cause_v he_o to_o look_v unto_o christ_n for_o his_o heal_n which_o word_n also_o be_v dispense_v unto_o he_o by_o the_o same_o doctor_n sib_n which_o beget_v in_o he_o a_o singular_a and_o constant_a love_n to_o the_o say_a doctor_n of_o who_o he_o be_v also_o answerable_o belove_v that_o which_o first_o make_v he_o famous_a in_o cambridge_n be_v his_o funeral_n oration_n for_o doctor_n some_o oratory_n master_n of_o peter_n house_n which_o be_v so_o accurate_o perform_v in_o respect_n of_o invention_n elegancy_n purity_n of_o style_n ornament_n of_o rhetoric_n elocution_n and_o oratorious_a beauty_n of_o the_o whole_a as_o that_o he_o be_v thenceforth_o look_v at_o as_o another_o xenophon_n or_o musa_fw-la attica_n throughout_o the_o university_n some_o space_n of_o time_n intervening_a he_o be_v call_v to_o preach_v at_o st._n mary_n where_o he_o preach_v a_o university_n sermon_n with_o high_a applause_n from_o the_o academical_a wit_n insomuch_o as_o the_o fame_n of_o his_o learning_n grow_v great_a and_o great_a and_o afterward_o be_v again_o call_v to_o preach_v in_o the_o same_o place_n as_o one_o oration_n of_o pericles_n leave_v his_o hearer_n with_o a_o appetite_n after_o another_o so_o the_o memory_n of_o his_o former_a accurate_a exercise_n fill_v the_o college_n especial_o the_o young_a student_n with_o a_o fresh_a expectation_n of_o such_o elegancy_n of_o learning_n as_o make_v they_o flock_n to_o the_o sermon_n with_o a_o athenian_a itch_n after_o some_o new_a thing_n as_o to_o the_o ornament_n of_o rhetoric_n and_o abstruser_n notion_n of_o philosophy_n but_o his_o spirit_n now_o savour_v of_o the_o cross_n of_o christ_n more_o than_o of_o humane_a literature_n and_o be_v teach_v of_o god_n to_o distinguish_v between_o the_o word_n of_o wisdom_n and_o the_o wisdom_n of_o word_n his_o speech_n and_o preach_v be_v not_o now_o with_o the_o entice_a word_n of_o man_n wisdom_n but_o in_o the_o demonstration_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o of_o power_n the_o disappoint_v expectation_n of_o the_o auditory_a soon_o appear_v in_o their_o countenance_n and_o the_o discouragement_n of_o their_o non-acceptance_n return_v he_o unto_o his_o chamber_n not_o without_o some_o sad_a thought_n of_o heart_n where_o yet_o he_o have_v not_o be_v long_o but_o lo_o dr._n preston_n then_o mr._n preston_n knock_v at_o his_o chamber_n door_n preston_n and_o come_v in_o acquaint_v he_o with_o his_o spiritual_a condition_n and_o tell_v he_o how_o it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o work_v effectual_o upon_o his_o heart_n by_o that_o sermon_n after_o which_o dr._n preston_n ever_o high_o prize_v he_o and_o both_o full_o and_o strong_o close_v with_o he_o which_o real_a seal_n of_o god_n unto_o his_o ministry_n much_o comfort_v his_o soul_n far_o above_o what_o the_o present_a less_o acceptance_n of_o the_o auditory_a have_v deject_v he_o or_o their_o former_a acceptance_n have_v encourage_v he_o his_o concio_fw-la ad_fw-la clerum_fw-la learning_n or_o latin_a sermon_n which_o he_o preach_v when_o he_o proceed_v bachelor_n of_o divinity_n which_o be_v after_o he_o have_v be_v at_o boston_n about_o half_a a_o year_n be_v very_o much_o admire_v and_o commend_v his_o text_n be_v mat._n 5._o 13._o vos_fw-fr estis_fw-la shall_fw-mi terrae_fw-la quod_fw-la si_fw-la sal_fw-la infatuatus_fw-la fuerit_fw-la quo_fw-la salietur_fw-la you_o be_v the_o salt_n of_o the_o earth_n but_o if_o the_o salt_n have_v lose_v its_o savour_n wherewith_o shall_v it_o be_v salt_v in_o handle_v of_o which_o text_n both_o the_o weight_n of_o the_o matter_n the_o elegancy_n of_o phrase_n rhetorical_a strain_n grave_n sweet_a and_o spiritual_a pronunciation_n render_v he_o yet_o more_o famous_a the_o like_a do_v his_o answer_v of_o the_o divinity_n act_n in_o the_o school_n have_v a_o very_a acute_a opponent_n mr._n william_n chappel_n to_o dispute_v with_o he_o so_o that_o in_o cambridge_n the_o name_n of_o mr._n cotton_n be_v much_o set_v by_o unto_o this_o earthen_a vessel_n boston_n thus_o fill_v with_o heavenly_a treasure_n the_o inhabitant_n of_o boston_n in_o lincolnshire_n make_v their_o address_n say_v come_v and_o help_v we_o and_o in_o that_o candlestick_n the_o father_n of_o light_n place_v this_o burn_a and_o shine_a light_n to_o who_o he_o remove_v from_o cambridge_n about_o the_o twenty_o eight_o year_n of_o his_o age._n at_o his_o first_o come_n he_o meet_v with_o some_o obstruction_n from_o the_o diocesan_n than_o bishop_n barlo_n who_o tell_v he_o that_o he_o be_v a_o young_a man_n and_o therefore_o unfit_a to_o be_v set_v over_o such_o a_o divide_a people_n mr._n cotton_n be_v ingenious_a and_o undervalue_v himself_o think_v so_o too_o and_o purpose_v to_o return_v to_o the_o college_n again_o but_o some_o of_o his_o boston_n friend_n understand_v that_o one_o simon_n biby_n be_v to_o be_v speak_v with_o who_o be_v near_o to_o the_o bishop_n they_o present_o charm_v he_o and_o so_o the_o business_n proceed_v without_o any_o further_a trouble_n and_o mr._n cotton_n be_v admit_v into_o the_o place_n after_o their_o manner_n in_o those_o day_n two_o thing_n be_v here_o not_o unworthy_a our_o observation_n temptation_n which_o mr._n cotton_n will_v sometime_o speak_v of_o to_o his_o friend_n first_o that_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o his_o ministry_n he_o be_v exercise_v with_o some_o inward_a trouble_n which_o much_o deject_a he_o and_o indeed_o good_a spirit_n be_v much_o better_v by_o their_o conflict_n with_o the_o worst_a of_o spirit_n spiritual_a preacher_n be_v often_o train_v up_o in_o the_o school_n of_o temptation_n so_o true_a be_v that_o theological_a maxim_n meditation_n prayer_n and_o temptation_n make_v a_o divine_a this_o dispensation_n of_o the_o alwise_a
god_n he_o afterward_o find_v not_o only_o to_o be_v beneficial_a unto_o he_o in_o prepare_v his_o heart_n for_o his_o work_n but_o also_o that_o it_o become_v a_o effectual_a mean_n of_o his_o more_o peaceable_a and_o comfortable_a settlement_n in_o that_o place_n where_o the_o people_n be_v divide_v among_o themselves_o by_o reason_n of_o a_o potent_a man_n in_o the_o town_n who_o adhere_v to_o another_o cambridge_n man_n who_o he_o will_v feign_v have_v bring_v in_o but_o when_o he_o see_v mr._n cotton_n whole_o take_v up_o with_o his_o own_o exercise_n of_o spirit_n he_o be_v free_a from_o all_o suspicion_n of_o his_o be_v pragmatical_a or_o addict_v to_o side_v with_o this_o or_o that_o party_n and_o so_o both_o he_o and_o his_o party_n begin_v to_o close_v more_o full_o with_o he_o second_o whereas_o there_o be_v a_o arminian_n party_n in_o that_o town_n some_o of_o who_o be_v witty_a and_o trouble_v other_o with_o dispute_n about_o those_o point_n by_o god_n blessing_n upon_o his_o labour_n in_o hold_v forth_o positive_o such_o truth_n as_o undermine_v the_o foundation_n of_o arminianism_n those_o dispute_v cease_v and_o the_o tenet_n of_o arminianism_n be_v no_o more_o plead_v for_o thus_o god_n dispose_v of_o the_o heart_n of_o hearer_n as_o that_o general_o they_o be_v all_o open_a and_o love_a to_o their_o preacher_n at_o their_o first_o entrance_n for_o three_o or_o four_o year_n he_o live_v trouble_n and_o preach_v among_o they_o without_o opposition_n they_o account_v themselves_o happy_a as_o well_o they_o may_v in_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o he_o both_o the_o town_n and_o country_n thereabouts_o be_v much_o better_v and_o reform_v by_o his_o labour_n but_o after_o he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o bear_v the_o ceremony_n impose_v his_o nonconformity_n occasion_v his_o trouble_n in_o the_o bishop_n court_n at_o lincoln_n from_o whence_o he_o be_v advise_v to_o appeal_v to_o a_o high_a court_n and_o employ_v mr._n leveret_n who_o afterward_o be_v one_o of_o the_o rule_v elder_n of_o the_o church_n of_o boston_n in_o new_a england_n to_o deal_v in_o that_o business_n and_o he_o like_a jacob_n be_v a_o plain_a man_n yet_o pious_o subtle_a to_o get_v such_o a_o spiritual_a blessing_n so_o far_o insinuate_v himself_o into_o one_o of_o the_o proctor_n of_o that_o high-court_n that_o mr._n cotton_n be_v treat_v by_o they_o as_o if_o he_o be_v a_o conformable_a man_n and_o so_o be_v restore_v unto_o boston_n after_o this_o time_n he_o be_v bless_v with_o a_o successful_a ministry_n unto_o the_o end_n of_o twenty_o year_n in_o which_o space_n he_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n in_o the_o afternoon_n go_v over_o the_o whole_a body_n of_o divinity_n in_o a_o catechistical_a way_n thrice_o labour_n and_o give_v the_o head_n of_o his_o discourse_n to_o those_o that_o be_v young_a scholar_n &_o other_o in_o the_o town_n to_o answer_v his_o question_n in_o public_a in_o that_o great_a congregation_n and_o after_o their_o answer_n he_o open_v those_o head_n of_o divinity_n and_o final_o apply_v all_o to_o the_o edification_n of_o his_o people_n and_o of_o such_o stranger_n as_o come_v to_o hear_v he_o in_o the_o morning_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n he_o preach_v over_o the_o first_o six_o chapter_n of_o the_o gospel_n of_o st._n john_n the_o whole_a book_n of_o ecclesiaste_n the_o prophecy_n of_o zachariah_n and_o many_o other_o scripture_n and_o when_o the_o lord_n supper_n be_v administer_v which_o be_v usual_a every_o monâ—th_n he_o preach_v upon_o 1_o corinth_n 11._o &_o 2_o chron._n 30._o the_o whole_a chapter_n beside_o some_o other_o scripture_n concern_v that_o subject_n on_o his_o lecture_n day_n he_o preach_v through_o the_o whole_a first_o and_o second_o epistle_n of_o john_n the_o whole_a book_n of_o solomon_n song_n the_o parable_n of_o our_o saviour_n set_v forth_o in_o matthews_n gospel_n to_o the_o end_n of_o chapter_n the_o 16_o compare_v they_o with_o mark_n and_o luke_n he_o take_v much_o pain_n in_o private_a and_o read_v to_o sundry_a young_a scholar_n that_o be_v in_o his_o house_n industry_n and_o to_o some_o that_o come_v out_o of_o germany_n and_o have_v his_o house_n full_a of_o auditor_n afterward_o see_v some_o inconvenience_n in_o the_o people_n flock_v to_o his_o house_n beside_o his_o ordinary_a lecture_n on_o the_o thursdays_n he_o preach_v thrice_o more_o in_o public_a on_o the_o week_n day_n viz._n on_o wednesdays_n and_o thursdays_n early_o in_o the_o morning_n and_o on_o saturday_n at_o three_o a_o clock_n in_o the_o afternoon_n only_o these_o three_o last_o lecture_n be_v perform_v by_o he_o but_o some_o few_o year_n before_o he_o have_v another_o famous_a colleague_n he_o be_v frequent_a in_o duty_n of_o humiliation_n duty_n and_o thanksgiving_n sometime_o he_o continue_v five_o or_o six_o hour_n in_o prayer_n and_o open_v the_o word_n so_o indefatigable_a be_v he_o in_o the_o lord_n work_v so_o willing_a to_o spend_v and_o be_v spend_v therein_o beside_o he_o answer_v many_o letter_n that_o be_v send_v he_o far_o and_o near_o wherein_o be_v handle_v many_o difficult_a case_n of_o conscience_n and_o many_o doubt_n clear_v to_o great_a satisfaction_n he_o be_v a_o man_n exceed_o belove_v providence_n and_o admire_v of_o the_o best_a and_o reverence_v of_o the_o worst_a of_o his_o hearer_n he_o be_v in_o great_a favour_n with_o dr._n williams_n the_o then_z bishop_n of_o lincoln_n who_o much_o esteem_v he_o for_o his_o learning_n and_o when_o he_o be_v lord_n keeper_n of_o the_o great_a seal_n he_o go_v to_o king_n james_n and_o speak_v of_o mr._n cotton_v great_a learning_n and_o worth_n the_o king_n be_v willing_a notwithstanding_o his_o nonconformity_n to_o give_v way_n that_o he_o shall_v have_v his_o liberty_n in_o his_o ministry_n without_o interruption_n which_o be_v the_o more_o remarkable_a consider_v how_o that_o king_n spirit_n be_v carry_v out_o against_o such_o way_n also_o the_o earl_n of_o dorchester_n be_v at_o old_a boston_n and_o hear_v mr._n 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of_o the_o world_n how_o she_o may_v please_v her_o husband_n 2._o she_o have_v so_o choose_v god_n for_o her_o portion_n world_n and_o set_v up_o her_o rest_n in_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o love_n that_o she_o have_v but_o little_a mind_n of_o the_o world_n riches_n she_o know_v that_o riches_n may_v be_v have_v and_o well_o use_v of_o the_o religious_a and_o that_o poverty_n alone_o commend_v no_o man_n unto_o god_n as_o st._n jerom_n speak_v yet_o do_v she_o not_o dote_v upon_o they_o but_o though_o she_o be_v competent_o careful_a and_o frugal_a as_o christ_n prescribe_v joh._n 6._o 12._o gather_v up_o the_o break_a meat_n that_o nothing_o be_v lose_v and_o though_o she_o be_v provident_a as_o the_o apostle_n require_v 1_o tim._n 5._o 8._o if_o any_o provide_v not_o for_o his_o own_o and_o especial_o for_o those_o of_o his_o own_o hosue_n he_o have_v deny_v the_o faith_n and_o be_v worse_a than_o a_o infidel_n yet_o withal_o believe_v that_o of_o the_o prophet_n david_n psal._n 37._o 16._o a_o little_a that_o the_o righteous_a have_v be_v better_a than_o the_o riches_n of_o many_o wicked_a and_o as_o conform_v herself_o to_o that_o of_o st._n john_n love_v not_o the_o world_n nor_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n 1_o joh._n 2._o 15._o she_o often_o beseech_v of_o almighty_a god_n rather_o to_o make_v and_o keep_v her_o poor_a than_o to_o suffer_v her_o heart_n in_o any_o sort_n to_o sink_v down_o from_o her_o maker_n to_o dote_v upon_o mammon_n she_o be_v one_o that_o can_v very_o well_o find_v in_o her_o heart_n to_o honour_n god_n with_o her_o substance_n ministry_n as_o prov._n 3._o 9_o she_o be_v as_o cheerful_a in_o her_o laying_n out_o for_o he_o as_o any_o miser_n can_v be_v in_o his_o laying_n up_o for_o himself_o and_o when_o she_o hear_v of_o the_o irreligious_a parsimony_n of_o some_o towards_o the_o maintenanance_n of_o the_o public_a ministry_n in_o that_o city_n of_o chester_n she_o have_v profess_v that_o she_o have_v rather_o be_v at_o all_o the_o charge_n of_o all_o the_o common_a contribution_n herself_o if_o her_o estate_n will_v bear_v it_o than_o that_o god_n shall_v be_v grumble_v at_o or_o his_o service_n poor_o prize_v or_o the_o wage_n of_o his_o work_n unwilling_o pay_v another_o undoubted_a testimony_n of_o her_o true_a love_n to_o god_n die_v be_v in_o that_o she_o so_o much_o desire_v to_o die_v out_o of_o a_o fervent_a affection_n to_o he_o insomuch_o that_o she_o fear_v a_o long_a life_n will_v keep_v she_o too_o long_o from_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o he_o be_v therein_o like_a unto_o david_n in_o those_o ardent_a aspiration_n of_o he_o as_o the_o hart_n pant_v after_o the_o water_n brooks_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n my_o soul_n thirst_v for_o god_n for_o the_o live_a god_n when_o shall_v i_o come_v and_o appear_v before_o he_o psal_n 42._o 1_o 2._o that_o which_o worldling_n be_v most_o afraid_a of_o that_o she_o so_o much_o wish_v for_o that_o her_o friend_n be_v fain_o to_o plead_v 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to_o the_o reverend_n dr._n harris_n live_v then_o in_o the_o university_n who_o admit_v she_o to_o the_o participation_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n in_o that_o public_a assembly_n where_o he_o administer_v it_o now_o let_v we_o see_v also_o a_o letter_n write_v by_o dr._n harris_n concern_v this_o godly_a gentlewoman_n who_o he_o high_o honour_v upon_o the_o occasion_n of_o his_o communicate_v the_o aforesaid_a letter_n of_o she_o to_o a_o friend_n do_v not_o say_v he_o think_v it_o lose_v time_n to_o read_v over_o this_o narrative_a it_o be_v pen_v by_o this_o gracious_a woman_n upon_o a_o serious_a occasion_n what_o time_n she_o be_v to_o give_v a_o account_n of_o herself_o at_o her_o admission_n to_o the_o lord_n supper_n the_o discourse_n be_v plain_a but_o pregnant_a of_o instruction_n i_o alter_v nothing_o in_o the_o thing_n i_o only_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o person_n therein_o mention_v as_o 1._o god_n 2._o satan_n 3._o the_o party_n self_n all_o which_o offer_v matter_n 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when_o thou_o be_v under_o mercy_n all_o of_o vengeance_n and_o fury_n there_o be_v no_o place_n for_o fear_n and_o here_o none_o for_o hope_n there_o sin_n be_v a_o inconsiderable_a thing_n and_o beneath_o god_n cognisance_n here_o sin_n be_v unpardonable_a and_o beyond_o god_n mercy_n in_o both_o estate_n he_o labour_v the_o destruction_n of_o faith_n now_o in_o the_o threat_n then_o in_o the_o promise_n in_o the_o first_o estate_n you_o must_v never_o yield_v to_o self-despair_n no_o spit_v in_o his_o face_n that_o shall_v once_o question_v thy_o belief_n in_o god_n without_o the_o least_o doubt_v what_o not_o believe_v my_o maker_n with_o all_o my_o soul_n what_o once_o doubt_n or_o suspect_v he_o i_o defy_v he_o and_o the_o foul_a fiend_n that_o shall_v say_v so_o on_o the_o other_o side_n when_o once_o convert_v what_o have_v thou_o to_o do_v with_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n and_o peace_n that_o be_v bread_n for_o child_n not_o for_o dog_n hypocrite_n for_o such_o as_o have_v sin_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n as_o thou_o have_v do_v and_o at_o this_o bay_n he_o hold_v the_o soul_n for_o some_o space_n and_o eftsoon_o recruit_n his_o force_n and_o renew_v his_o interrogatory_n thus_o thou_o within_o the_o promise_n thou_o a_o believer_n can_v thou_o say_v dare_v thou_o say_v that_o thou_o have_v faith_n it_o may_v be_v thou_o dare_v not_o deny_v it_o but_o what_o be_v that_o to_o the_o point_n thou_o dare_v not_o affirm_v it_o though_o partial_a enough_o to_o thyself_o be_v advise_v by_o i_o who_o love_v plain_a deal_n and_o let_v not_o thy_o false_a heart_n and_o these_o fawn_a preacher_n befool_v thou_o unto_o destruction_n thus_o the_o devil_n up_o and_o down_o first_o and_o last_o thus_o he_o proceed_v with_o man_n at_o the_o first_o and_o though_o sometime_o he_o shift_v hand_n and_o find_v out_o new_a way_n yet_o here_o lie_v his_o road_n for_o the_o most_o part_n and_o this_o be_v the_o first_o party_n here_o name_v now_o in_o the_o second_o place_n own_o what_o do_v god_n it_o must_v be_v grant_v that_o he_o permit_v these_o hellish_a scullion_n to_o scour_v his_o plate_n and_o to_o fit_v the_o vessel_n of_o honour_n for_o their_o master_n use_n and_o they_o as_o glad_a of_o the_o office_n bestir_v themselves_o they_o dawb_v their_o vessel_n and_o render_v they_o as_o foul_a and_o ugly_a as_o they_o can_v but_o when_o they_o have_v do_v their_o work_n god_n take_v his_o plate_n out_o of_o their_o hand_n to_o their_o no_o small_a grief_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a while_n god_n go_v along_o with_o the_o temptation_n and_o in_o they_o all_o support_v his_o poor_a servant_n now_o more_o immediate_o by_o his_o own_o hand_n prompt_v their_o petition_n dart_v into_o their_o soul_n some_o glimpse_n of_o comfort_n mind_v they_o of_o some_o promise_n to_o be_v sure_a yield_v they_o some_o secret_a hope_n something_o or_o other_o which_o draw_v they_o along_o still_o more_o or_o less_o 2._o now_o more_o immediate_o by_o man_n and_o other_o mean_n sometime_o he_o direct_v they_o to_o some_o special_a book_n or_o treatise_n which_o fit_v their_o case_n and_o hold_v soul_n and_o life_n together_o at_o present_a sometime_o he_o send_v a_o interpreter_n one_o of_o a_o thousand_o that_o shall_v rip_v up_o their_o misery_n and_o show_v they_o their_o misery_n and_o show_v they_o their_o remedy_n and_o at_o last_o fetch_v off_o his_o captive_n even_o then_o when_o satan_n begin_v to_o crow_v and_o cry_v victory_n that_o extremity_n be_v god_n opportunity_n and_o this_o be_v usual_o though_o not_o ever_o god_n way_n now_o look_v upon_o the_o three_o concern_v the_o party_n tempt_v what_o do_v he_o he_o stick_v often_o in_o the_o birth_n fool_n as_o he_o be_v his_o first_o work_n be_v to_o keep_v the_o devil_n counsel_n confess_v and_o be_v shame_v for_o ever_o folly_n the_o devil_n be_v true_a to_o he_o and_o he_o will_v be_v as_o true_a and_o never_o peach_v he_o travel_v with_o a_o woeful_a burden_n of_o sin_n guilt_n horror_n but_o if_o thou_o love_v thyself_o say_v the_o devil_n keep_v thy_o own_o counsel_n trust_v not_o god_n nor_o man_n but_o if_o the_o preacher_n do_v force_v he_o to_o a_o confession_n and_o he_o can_v hold_v no_o long_o than_o he_o make_v forth_o but_o fair_a and_o soft_o first_o he_o make_v many_o offer_n goes_z and_o come_v and_o something_o he_o will_v say_v but_o be_v loath_a he_o begin_v afar_o off_o and_o then_o stop_v begin_v again_o and_o then_o stop_v again_o take_v another_o day_n and_o then_o come_v again_o with_o a_o purpose_n of_o utter_v all_o and_o when_o he_o come_v to_o his_o friend_n either_o all_o be_v quiet_a for_o the_o present_a and_o the_o pang_n over_o or_o else_o if_o he_o hang_v still_o on_o the_o rack_n than_o he_o drop_v out_o somewhat_o but_o reserve_v the_o worst_a and_o so_o be_v little_a the_o better_a because_o he_o come_v not_o to_o the_o bottom_n quick_o or_o if_o he_o speak_v out_o all_o yet_o there_o be_v another_o rub_n in_o the_o way_n how_o can_v i_o tell_v whether_o this_o party_n testimony_n be_v true_a or_o no_o his_o judgement_n and_o affection_n be_v right_a he_o show_v i_o promise_n but_o know_v he_o or_o i_o whether_o those_o promise_n do_v belong_v to_o i_o he_o speak_v of_o a_o christ_n but_o what_o be_v that_o to_o i_o if_o he_o be_v none_o of_o i_o he_o talk_v of_o believe_v see_v be_v believe_v it_o be_v a_o senseless_a thing_n to_o trust_v to_o another_o goodness_n when_o i_o have_v nothing_o of_o i_o own_o to_o believe_v mercy_n whâ—n_o i_o feel_v wrath_n shall_v i_o not_o believe_v my_o own_o eye_n and_o thus_o after_o a_o world_n of_o sermon_n sacrament_n conference_n the_o poor_a soul_n hover_v and_o find_v no_o rest_n or_o satisfaction_n till_o god_n be_v please_v to_o work_v he_o to_o these_o thing_n 1._o to_o a_o resolution_n of_o impart_v himself_o to_o some_o godly_a friend_n and_o of_o speak_v his_o whole_a heart_n to_o some_o one_o or_o other_o 2._o of_o rest_v in_o god_n bare_a word_n without_o the_o assurance_n of_o sense_n 3._o of_o accept_v of_o jesus_n christ_n without_o any_o if_n and_o and_o be_v notwithstanding_o his_o own_o unworthiness_n 4._o of_o wait_v upon_o god_n and_o harken_v when_o he_o will_v speak_v peace_n and_o when_o he_o be_v bring_v thus_o far_o that_o he_o will_v be_v behold_v to_o a_o commuinon_n of_o saint_n and_o will_v take_v god_n word_n without_o any_o far_a surety_n and_o owe_v all_o to_o christ_n though_o he_o can_v contribute_v nothing_o and_o in_o despite_n of_o all_o suggestion_n and_o discouragement_n will_v stick_v to_o the_o peace_n of_o christ_n and_o look_v for_o all_o his_o peace_n in_o that_o way_n say_v though_o he_o kill_v i_o