it were with gall all the pleasures of those fabulous narrations For I understood not a word of it yet they vehemently pressed me and with most cruell threatnings and punishments to make me understand it The time was also when I was an infant that I knew not a word of Latine yet by marking I gate that without any feare or tormenting even by my nurses pratlings to me and the pretty tales of those that laught upon me and the sports of those that plaid with me 2. So much verily I learnt without any painefull burthen to mee of those that urged me for that mine owne heart put me to it to bring out mine owne conceptions Which I could never have done had I not learnd divers words not of those that taught me but of them that talkt familiarly to me in whose hearing I also brought forth whatsoever I had conceived Hereby it cleerely appeares that a free curiosity hath more force in childrens learning of languages than a frightfull enforcement can have But the unsetlednesse of that freedome this inforcement restraines Thy Lawes O God yea Thy Lawes even from the schoolemasters Ferula to the martyrs Tryalls being able to temper wholesome and bitter together calling us backe by that meanes unto thy selfe even from that infectious sweetnesse which at first allured us to fall away from Thee CHAP. 15. His Prayer to God 1. HEare my prayer O Lord let not my soule faint under thy correction nor let mee faint in confessing unto thee thine owne mercies by which thou hast drawne mee out of all mine own most wicked courses that thy selfe mightest from hence forward grow sweet unto me beyond all those allurements which heretofore I followed and that I might most intirely love thee and lay hold upon thy hand with all the powers of my heart that thou mightest finally draw mee out of all danger of temptation 2. For behold O Lord my King whatsoever good I have learned being a boy unto thy service let it be all directed yea whatsoever I speake or write or reade or number let all serve thee For when I learned vaine things thou didst discipline me and in those vanities thou forgavest the sinfulnesse of my delight in them In those studies I learnt many usefull words but those might have beene also learned in studies not so vaine which is I confesse the safest way for children to be trayned up in CHAP. 16. Against lascivious fables 1. BVt woe unto thee O thou Torrent of humane custome who shall stoppe the course of thee when wilt thou be drye how long wilt thou continue tumbling the sonnes of Eve into that hugie and hidcous Ocean which they very hardly passe who are well shipped Do I not reade in thee of Iupiter sometimes thundering and sometime adulterating but verily both these could not one person doe but this is feyned that hee might have authority to imitate true-acted Adultery false thunder the meane while playing the bawde to him Yet which of our grave Masters can with any patience heare a man that should in his Schoole cry out saying Homer feigned these and ascribed mens faults unto the gods but I had rather he had derived divine excellencies upon us But more truely is it said that Homer feyned these things indeed and that by his attributing divine excellencies to most wicked mortals crimes might not be accounted crimes so that whosoever shal commit the like seemes not therein to imitate desperate people but some heavenly Deities 2. This notwithstanding O thou hellish torrent are the sonnes of men cast into thee with rewards propounded to allure children to learne these fables and a great solemnity is made of it when t is pleaded for openly in the assembles and in the sight of the lawes which allow stipends to the Teachers over and above the reward unto the schollers yet O Torrent thou art still beating upon thy rocks roaring out and crying Here are fine words to bee learned here Eloquence is attained eloquence so necessary to perswade to businesse and with advantage to expresse sentences But for all this should wee never so patheticall have understood these words The golden showre The lappe The deceipt The temple of heaven and such others written â— the same place had not Terâ—nâ— withall brought a lewd your man upon the stage propounding Iupiter to himselfe for a example of his adultery whâ—â— he beholds a certaine picture â—â— the wall wherein was set out tâ— the life the story of Iupiter râ—yning a golden showre into Dâ—â—aes lappe deceiving the simpâ—â— mayden by that meanes Show that young man provoke himselfe to lust as if he had he a celestiall authority for it 3. But what God doe I imitate saith hee even that God who with a mighty thunder shakes the very Arches of heaven may not I then frayle flesh and blood doe as much But I for my part did as much unprovoked yea gladly too Plainly by this filthy matter are not these words so much the more commodiously learned as by these words is this filthy businesse learned to bee the more confidently committed I blame nor the words which of themselves are like vessels choyce and precious but that wine of error which is in them drunke to us by our intoxicated teachers If we refused to pledge them wee were beaten nor had wee liberty to appeale unto any sober Iudges All this notwithstanding O my God I in whose presence I now with securityremember this did willingly learne these things and unhappy I was for this accounted a youth of much towardlinesse CHAP. 17. The way of exercising youth in repeating and varying of verses 1. GIve me leave O my God to tell thee something and that of mine own wit which was thy gift and what dotages I spent it upon-My Master put a taske upon me troublesome enough to my soule and that upon termes of reward of commendations or feare of shame and whipping namely That I should declame upon those words of Iuno expressing both her anger and sorrow that shee could not keepe off the Trojane King from going into Italie which words I had heard that Iuno never uttered yet were we enforced to imitate the passages of these poeticall fictions and to varie that into Prose which the Poet had expressed in verse And hee decliamed with most applause in whose action according to the dignity of the person represented there appeared an affection neerest to anger or griefe set out with words most agreeable to the matter 2. But to what end was this O my true life my God why was my declamation more applauded than so many others of mine owne age and forme Was not all this meere smoke and winde and could no other subject be found to exercise my wit and tongue in Thy prayses O Lord thy prayses might have stayed the tender sprig of my heart upon the prop of thy Scriptures that it might not have beene cropt off by these empty vanities to bee catcht up as a
kindly to mee call'd mee a dutyfull Child remembring with great affection of loue how that shee neuer heard any harsh word or reproachfull tearme to come out of my mouth against her But for all this O my God that madest vs both what comparison is there betwixt that honour that I performe to her and that carefull painefulnesse of hers to mee Because therefore I was left thus destitute of so great a comfort was my very soule wounded yea and my life torne in pieces as it were which had beene made one out of hers and mine together 3 That boy now being stilled from weeping Euodius tooke vp the Psalter and began to sing the whole house answering him the 101 Psalme I will sing of mercy and iudgement vnto thee O Lord. But when it was once heard what we were a doing there came together very many Brethren and religious women and whilest they whose office it was were as the manner is taking order for the buriall my selfe in a part of the house where most conueniently I could together with those who thought it not fit to leaue mee discoursed vpon something which I thought fittest for the time by applying of which playster of truth did I asswage that inward torment knowne onely vnto thy selfe though not by them perceiued who very attentiuely listning vnto me conceiued me to be without all sense of sorrow But in thy eares where none of them ouer heard me did I blame the weakenesse of my passion and refraine my flood of grieuing which giuing way a little vnto mee did for all that breake forth with his wonted violence vpon me though not so far as to burst out into teares nor to any great change of countenance yet know I well enough what I kept downe in my heart And for that it very much offended me that these human respects had such power ouer mee which must in their due order and out of the Fatality of our naturall condition of necessity come to passe I condoled mine owne sorrow with a new grieuing being by this meanes afflicted with a double sorrow 4. And behold when as the Corps was carried to the Burial we both went returned without teares For neither in those Prayers which we powred forth vnto Thee whenas the Sacrifice of our Redemption was offered vp vnto thee for her the Corps standing by the Graues side before it was put into the ground as the manner there is did I so much as shed a teare all the Prayer time yet was I most grieuously sad in secrete and with a troubled minde did I begge of thee so well as I could that thou wouldst mitigate my sorrow which for all that thou diddest not recommending I beleeue vnto my memory by this one experiment That the too strict bond of all humane conuersation is much preiudiciall vnto that soule which now feeds vpon thy not deceiuing Word It would I thought doe me some good to goe and bathe my selfe and that because I had heard the Bath to take his name from the Greekes calling of it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for that it driues sadnesse out of the minde And this I also confesse vnto thy mercy O father of the fatherlesse because that after I had bathed I was the same man I was before and that the bitternesse of my sorrow could not bee swette out of my heart 5. I fell to sleepe vpon it and vpon my waking I found my griefe to bee not a little abated Wherevpon lying in my bed alone there came to my mind those true verses of thy Ambrose For thou art the God that all things doest create Who know'st the Heauens to moderate And cloath'st the day with beautious light With benefit of sleepe the night Which may our weakned sinewes make Able new paynes to vndertake And all our tyred minds well ease And our distempered griefes appease And then againe by little and little as feelingly as before calling to mind thy handmayd her deuout and holy conuersation towards Thee her pleasing and most obseruant behauiour towards Vs of which too suddenly I was now depriued it gaue mee some content to weepein thy sight both concerning her and for her concerning my selfe and for my selfe And I gaue way to these teares which I before restreined to ouer flow as much as they desired laying them for a pillow vnder my heart and resting my selfe vpon them for there were thy eares and not the eares of man who would haue scornefully interpreted this my weeping 6. But now in writing I confesse it vnto thee O Lord read it who will and interpret it how he will and if hee finds me to haue offended in bewailing my mother so small a portion of an houre that mother I say now dead and departed from mine eyes who had so many yeeres wept for me that I might liue in thine eyes let him not deride me but if he be a man of any great charity let him rather weepe for my sinnes vnto Thee the Father of all the brethren of thy Christ CHAP. 13. Hee prayeth for his dead mother 1. BVt my heart now cured of that wound for which it might bee blamed for a carnall kinde of affection I powre out vnto Thee O our God in behalfe of that handmayd of thine a farre different kind of teares such as flowed from a broken spirit out of a serious consideration of the danger of euery soule that dyeth in Adam And notwithstanding she for her part being quickened in Christ euen before her dissolution from the flesh had so liued that there is cause to prayse Thy name both for her sayth and conuersation yet dare I not say for all this that from the time of thy regenerating her by baptisme there issued not from her mouth any one word or other against thy commandement Thy Sonne who is Truth hath pronounc'd it Whosoeuer shall say vnto his brother Thou foole shall bee in danger of Hell fire In so much as woe bee vnto the most commendable life of men if laying aside thy mercy thou shouldest rigorously examine it But because thou too narrowly inquiredst not after sinnes wee assuredly hope to finde some place of pardon with thee But whosoeuer stands to reckon vp his owne Merits vnto Thee what reckons hee vp vnto thee but thine owne gifts Oh that men would know thēselues to be but men that he that glorieth would glory in the Lord. 2. I therefore O my praise and my life thou God of my heart laying aside for a while her good deedes for which with reioycing I giue thanks vnto thee doe now beseech thee for the sinnes of my mother Hearken vnto mee by him I intreate thee that is the true medicine of our wounds who hung vpon the tree and now sitting at thy right hand maketh intercession for vs. I know that shee hath doalt mercifully and to haue from her very heart forgiuen those that trespassed against her doe thou also
And how many soever ours or our Fathers dayes have beene they have all passed by this one day of thine and from that day have they received their measures and manners of being and those to come shall so also passe away and so also receive their measures and varieties of beings But thou art the same still and all To Morrowes and so forward and all Yesterdaies and so backward thou shalt make present in this day of thine yea and hast made present What concernes it me If any understand not this let him rejoyce notwithstanding saying What is this mystery Let him so also rejoyce and rather love to finde in not finding it out than by finding it not to finde thee with it CHAP. 7. That even his Infancy was subject to sinne 1. HEarken to me O God! Woe to the sinnes of men Yet when man sayes thus thou hast mercie upon him because him thou hast created but sinne in him thou hast not made Who shall bring to my remembrance the sinne of my infancy for in thy sight can no man bee cleane from his sinne no not an Infant of a day old Who will put mee in minde of this any such a little one in whom I now observe what of my selfe I remembred not Wherein did I then sinne in that I cryed too fiercely after the pap For if I should doe so at these yeeres crying though not to sucke againe but after such foode as is convenient for my growth I should most justly be laugh'd at and reprehended for it Even then therefore did I something worthy to be blamed but for that I could not understand such as reprehended mee therefore would neither custome nor reason suffer me to bee corrected For as we grow towards discretion we root up and cast out such childishnesse nor have I seene any man knowing what he doth who purging out bad things casts the good away also But whether may this passe for good considering the time by crying to desire what would have hurt me being given and by being so sullenly froward at people that did not humour me even at yong and old and mine owne parents too yea and fighting as fiercely as I could at diuers other discreeter persons that did not Cockney me in every thing and because they obeyed not my commands which had beene hurtfull to me to have beene obeyed So that it is not the minde of Infants that is harmelesse but the weaknesse of their childish members I my selfe have seene and observed a little Baby to be already jealous and before it could speake what an angry and a bitter looke it would cast at another childe that suckt away it's milke from it 2. Who knowes not this That Mothers and Nurses professe indeed to expiate these things by I know not what remedies But may this passe for innocency that a Baby full fed should not endure a poore Foster-childe to share with him in a fountaine of milke plentifully and freshly flowing though destitute of succour and having but that onely nourishment to sustaine it's poore life withall But these childishnesses are with pleasure borne withall not because they be in themselves eyther none or small faults but for that they will vanish with age Which though they may in this age be allowed of yet are they with no patience to bee indured in an elder body Thou therefore O Lord my God who hast given both life and body to the Infant which as we see thou hast furnished with senses compacted with limbes beautified with shape and for his generall good and safety hast armed all the endevours of the whole Creature even thou commandest me to praise thee for these things and to confesse and sing unto thy Name O thou most high Because thou art a God omnipotent and good although thou hadst done no more but these things which none else can doe but thou alone from whom all proportion floweth O thou most beautifull which fashionest all and after thine owne method disposest all 3. This Age therefore of my life O Lord of which I remember not any passages concerning which I must give credit to others relation which notwithstanding that I have passed as I conjecture by other Infants although these tokens may very strongly assure my conjecture it irkes mee to reckon unto the rest of that life which I leade in this world seeing that in regard of the darknesse of my forgetfulnesse of it it is like that part which I passed in my Mothers wombe Now if I were shapen in iniquity and in sinne conceived by my Mother where I beseech thee O my God in what place Lord was I thy servant where or when was I innocent But behold I now passe by that age for what have I to do with it whereof I can call nothing at all to memory CHAP. 8. A description of his Childhood 1. GRowing on from the state of Infancie came I not into my Childehood or rather came not that into mee and succeeded unto my Infancy nor yet did my Infancy depart for whither went it though now it were no more for an Infant I was no longer that could not speake seeing now I began to prove a pretty prating Boy And this I well remember and I afterwards observed how I first learn'd to speake For my elders did not teach me this ability by giving of mee words in any certaine order of teaching as they did letters afterwards but by that minde which Thou my God gavest mee I my selfe with gruntings varieties of voyces and various motions of my body strove to expresse the conceits of mine owne heart that my desire might be obeyed but could not bring it out either what I would have or to whom I desired Then I settled in my memory when they named any thing and when at that name they moved their bodies toward that thing I observed it and gathered thereby that that word which they then pronounced was the very name of the thing which they shewed me 3. And that they meant this or that thing was discovered to me by the motion of their bodies even by that naturall language as it were of all nations which expressed by the countenance and cast of the eye by the action of other parts and the sound of the voice discovers the affections of the mind either to desire enjoy refuse or to doe any thing And thus words in divers sentences set in their due places and heard often over I by little and little collected of what things they were the signes and having broken my mouth to the pronunciation of them I by them expressed mine owne purposes Thus with those whom I conversed withall did I communicate the expressions of mine owne desires and ventured thereby upon the troublesome society of humane businesses depending all this while upon the authority of my parents and being at the becke of my Elders CHAP. 9. The hatred that children beare to Learning and their love to playing 1. O God my
my soule is not affrighted at it I will love thee O Lord and thanke thee and I will confesse unto thy Name because thou hast forgiven mee this crime and these hainous deeds of mine unto thy grace and mercie doe I ascribe that thou hast dissolved my sinnes as it were Ice yea unto thy grace doe I ascribe whatsoever evils I have not done For what evill was not I apt enough to commit who loved the sinne for the sinnes sake Yea all I confesse to be forgiven me both what evils I committed wilfully and what by thy guidance I have not committed 2. What man is he who upon consideration of his owne infirmity dares so farre to ascribe his chastity and innocency to his owne vertue as that he thereupon should love thee the lesse as if thy mercy by which thou forgivest those that turne unto thee had beene lesse necessary for him Who soever now being effectually called by thee hath obeyed thy voice and declined those transgressions which hee here reades me remembring and confessing of my selfe let him not laugh at me who am now cured by that same Physician who ministred unto him such preservatives that he might not be sicke at all or but a little distempered rather but let him take occasion thereupon to love thee so much yea so much the more since by that Physician he hath observed mee to have beene recovered out of such deepe consumptions of sinfulnesse by the same hand he perceives himselfe not to have beene incumbred by the like CHAP. 8. What hee loved in that his theft 1. VVHat fruite had I wretched man heretofore in these things of the remembrance whereof I am now ashamed In that piece of theeverie especially wherein I loved nothing but the very Theft it selfe whereas that was nothing of it selfe but I much the more miserable by it Yet by my selfe alone I would not have committed it so well I now remember what my disposition then was that alone I would never have done it Belike therefore it was the company that I loved who were with me at it And even therfore I loved nothing but the theft it selfe yea verily nothing else because that circumstance of the company was indeed a very nothing 2. What is this verily who is it that teacheth me but even he that inlightneth my heart and discovers the darknesse of it What is that which came into my head to enquire into and to discusse and consider better of For had I then loved those Peares which I stole I might have done it by my selfe had it beene enough barely to commit the The every by which I might attaine my pleasure nor needed I have provoked that itch of mine owne desires by the rubbing of those guilty consciences But because the pleasure I tooke consisted not in those Peares it must needes therefore bee in the very pranke it selfe which the company of us offenders joyntly committed together CHAP. 9. Bad company is infectious 1. VVHat kinde of disposition was that then For it was too bad plainly and woe to me that I had it But yet what was it Oh wh◠can understand his errours We laught heartily till wee tickled againe that wee could beguile the owners who little thought what wee were a doing and would never have indured it Yet againe why tooke I delight even in this that I did it not alone Is it for that no man doth so readily laugh alone ordinarily indeed no body does but yet a fit of laughter sometimes comes upon men by themselves and singly when no body else is with them if any thing worthy to be laught at comes eyther in their eye or fancies Yet I for my part would not have done this alone I should never have done it alone verily 2. See here my God the lively emembrance of my soule set beforethee Alone I would never have committed that Theft wherein what I stole did not so much content me as because I stole it which would never have pleased me so well to have done alone nor would I ever have done it O friendship too unfriendly thou inveigler of the soule thou reasonlesse greedinesse to doe mischiefe all out of a mirth and wantonnesse thou thirst to doe wrong to others though upon no pleasure of gaine or revenge unto our selves but even because when one cryes Let 's goe let 's doe this or that 't is ashame not to be shamelesse CHAP. 10. Whatsoever is good is in God 1. VVHo can picke out that crooked and intricate knottinesse 'T is filthy I will never give my mind to it I will not so much as looke towards it But thee I desire O Righteousnesse and Innocency most beautifull and comely to all chaste eyes yea with an insatiable satiety I desire to behold thee With thee is Rest assured and a life never to bee disturbed Hee that enters into thee enters into his masters joy and hee shall have no cause of feare and shall be well in him who is the best 〈◊〉 a way from thee and I went astray O my God yea too much astray from thee my stay in these dayes of my youth and I became to my selfe as it were that far Country of misery SAINT AVGVSTINES Confessions THE THIRD BOOKE CHAP. 1. He is caught with love which he hunted after TO Carthage I came where a whole Frying-pan full of abominable Loves crakled round about me and on every side I was not in love as yet yet I loved to be in love with a more secret kind of want I hated my selfe having little want I sought about for something to love loving still to be beloved safety I hated and that way too that had no snares in it and all because I had a famine within me even of that inward food thy selfe my God though that famine made mee not hungry For I continued without all appetite towards incorruptible nourishments not because I was already full but the more empty the more queasie stomackt For this cause my soule was not very well but miserably breaking out into botches had an extreme itch to be scratcht by the touch of these sensible things who yet if they had not a life could not deserve to be beloved It was very pleasurable to me both to love and to be beloved but much more when I obtained to enjoy the person whom I loved 2. I defiled therefore the Spring of friendship with the filth of uncleannesse and I be fullied the purity of it with the hell of lustfulnesse But thus filthy and dishonest as I was with a superlative kind of vanity I took a pride to passe for a spruce and a gentile companion I forced my selfe also into love with which I affected to be insuared My God my Mercy with how much sowrenesse didst thou out of thy goodnesse to me besawce that sweetenesse For obtayning once to be beloved againe and secretly arriving to the bond of enjoying I was with much joy bound with sorrow-bringing
embracements even that I might be scourged with the Iron burning rods of Iealousie and suspitions and feares and angers and brawles Stage-playes also at that time drew me away sights full of the images of mine owne miseries and the fewell to mine owne fire CHAP. 2. Of Stage-playes VVHat 's the reason now that a spectator desires to be made sad when he beholds dolefull and tragicall passages which himselfe could not endure to suffer yet for all that he desires to feele a kind of passionatenesse yea and his passion becomes his pleasure too What 's all this but a miserable madnesse for every man is more affected with these actions the lesse free he is from such affections Howsoever when a man suffers ought in his owne person it uses to be stiled misery but when he hath a fellow feeling of anothers then 't is mercy But what compassion is to bee showne at those feined and scenicall passions For the Auditors here are not provoked to helpe the sufferer but invited onely to be sorry for him and they so much the more love the actor of these fictions by how much the more he can move passion in them and if the calamities of the persons represented either fallen out long since or meerely fained be so lamely set out that no passion be mou'd in the spectator he goes away surfetted and reporting scurvily of it But if he be mov'd to passion He sits it out very attentively and even weepes for joy againe Are teares therefore loved and passions Verily each man desires joy fulnesse Or whereas no man is willing to be miserable is he notwithstanding pleased to bee mercifull which because it cannot be without passion for this reason alone come passions to be loved All this springs from that Veine of friendship 2. But whither goes that Veine which way flowes it wherefore runnes it into that torrent of boyling pitch those vast â—â—â— flowings of the lands of lustfulnesse into the nature of which it is of ' its owne inclination changed being quite altered from ' its heavenly cleerenesse and corrupted Shall compassion therefore be banished by no meanes Let us frame our selves rather to love passion sometimes But take heed of uncleannesse O my soule under the eye of God my protector that God of our fathers who is to be praysed and to be exalted above all for ever and ever beware of uncleannesse Nor am I now past all compassion but when in those dayes I in the Theaters sympathized together with the lovers when they wickedly enjoyed one another although their Parts were meerely feined in the action of the comedy and when they lost one another I was sad with them as if really pittying them being in both successes equally delighted notwithstanding But I much more pitty him now that still rejoyceth in his owne wickednesse than I doe him that is as it were hardly pinched with the forgoing of some pemitious pleasure and the losse of some miserable felicitie 3. This certainly is the truer mercy but the heart takes not so much delight in it For though he that condoles with the miserable be commended for his office of charity yet had he that is most brotherly compassionate much rather there were no occasion given him to condole at For if good-will bee ill-wild which can never be then may he as well who is truely and sincerely compassionate wish there might still be some men miserable that he might still be compassionate Some kinde of sorrow may therefore be allowed but no kind loved And thus doest thou O Lord God who lovest our soules much more purely than our selves can doe and art more incorruptibly mercifull because thou canst be wounded with no sorrowfulnesse And who is fit for these things But wretched I loved at that time to bee made sorry and sought out matter to be sorry at when as in another mans misery though feined and meerely personated that Action of the Player best pleased me yea and drew mee the more vehemently which extracted teares out of mine eyes What mervayle was it now when being an unhappy sheepe straying from thy flocke and not contented with thy keeping I became infected with that filthy scab And hence came my loving of those sorrowes not such though as should gall me too deepe for I was not so farre gone as to love to suffer what I loved to looke on but such yet as upon hearing their fictions should lightly scratch me upon which as after venomed nayles followed an inslained swelling an Impostumation and a putrified matter Such a life I then led but was that a life O my God CHAP. 3. His conversation with young Lawyers 1. ANd thy faithfull mercie hoverd over me afar off Vpon what grosse iniquities consumed I my selfe pursuing a sacrilegious curiosity that having once forsaken thee it might bring me as low as the very bottome of infidelity to that beguiling service of Divels unto whom I sacrificed mine own vileactions for all which thou didst chastise me I was so bold one day as thy solemnities were a celebrating even within the wals of thy Church to desire and to execute a busines enough â—â— purchase me the very fruits of death for which thou 〈◊〉 me with very grievous punishments though nothing in respect of my fault O thou my infinite mercy I my God my refuge against those terrible dangers in which I wandered with a stiffe 〈◊〉 to withdraw my selfe the further off from thee loving mine owne wayes and not thine affecting a freedome though that of a Run-away 2. Those Studies of mine also which were accounted commendable were intended towards the Law with an ambition to prove excellent at them so much the 〈◊〉 as I proved the craftier Such is mens blindnesse that they even brag of their owle-eydnes I 〈◊〉 this time to be a prime fellâ—oâ— in the Rhetorrke schooles â—â—ch joyed in it very pertly and I sweld againe with arrogancy though more temperate I was Lord thou knowest Yea and farre enough off from those humors of the OVERTVRNERS for this cruell and diabolicall name was given out to bee the very badge of gallantry whom notwithstanding I kept company withall even with an impudent bashfulnesse because I had not so rightly gotten the garbe of it as they With these I conversed and was oft times delighted with their acquaintance whose doings I ever did abhor that is their humors of OVERTVRNING in which their custome was malapertly enough to come over the demure and bashfuller behaviour of those they never saw before whom they throughly vexed with abusing and jeering at upon no occasion and all to maintaine their owne humour of bitter jesting nothing in the world can be liker the very actions of the Divell himselfe than this behaviour of theirs what name then may they more truely be cal'd by than OVERTVRNERS being themselves overturned and altogether perverted first and that by those seducing and deceiving spirits secretly deriding them even for this that themselves take so much
wee remembring our selves of the humanity received from our friend and not allowed to reckon him in the number of thy Flock should be tortured with intolerable sorrow for him 2. Thankes unto thee O our God wee are now thine Thy inspirations and consolations tell us so Thou O faithfull promiser shalt repay Verecundus for his Countrey house of Cassiacum where from the troubles of the world we rested our selves in thee with the pleasantnesse of thy Paradise which is ever greene for that thou hast forgiven him his sinnes upon earth in that mountaine of spices thine owne mountaine that fruitfull mountaine Verecundus therefore was much perplexed but Nebridius was as joyfull as wee For although when as he was not yet a Christian hee had falne into the same pit of most pernicious error with us beleeving the flesh of thy Sonne to be fantasticall yet getting out from thence he beleeved as wee did not as yet entered into any sacraments of thy Church but a most zealous searcher out of the truth Whom not long after our conversion and regeneration by thy Baptisme being also baptized in the Catholike Faith serving thee in perfect chastity and continence amongst his owne friends in Africa having first converted his whole family unto Christianity didst thou take out of the flesh and now he lives in the bosome of Abraham 3. Whatsoever that estate be which is signified by that bosome there lives Nebridius my sweet friend thy child O Lord adopted of a freed-man lives there For what other place is there for such a soule In that place he lives concerning which hee sometimes demanded of me unskilfull man so many questions Now layes he his eare no longer unto my mouth but layes his spirituall mouth unto thy fountaine and drinketh as much of Wisedome as he is able to containe proportionable to his thirst now without end happy Nor doe I yet thinke that he is so inebriated with it as to forget me seeing thou O Lord of whom hee drinketh art still mindfull of us Thus fared it then with us sorrowfull Verecundus wee comforted reserving our friendship entire notwithstanding our conversion and exhorting him to continue in the fidelity of his degree namely of his married estate Nebridius we stayed for expecting when he would follow us which being so neere he might well doe and even now hee was about to doe it when behold those daies of Interim were at length come to an end For long and many they seemed unto me even for the love I bare to that easefull liberty that we might sing unto thee out of all our bowels My heart hath said unto thee I have sought thy face thy face Lord will I seeke CHAP. 4. What things he wrote with Nebridius 1. NOw was the day come wherein I was actually to be discharged of my Rhetoricke Professorship from which in my thoughts I was already discharged And done it was And thou deliveredst my tongue whence thou hadst before delivered my heart And I blessed thee for it rejoycing in my selfe I and mine going all into the Countrey What there in point of learning I did which was now wholly at thy service though yet sorely panting and out of breath as it were in following the Schoole of pride my bookes may witnesse both those which I disputed with my friends present and those which I composed alone with my selfe before thee and what intercourse I had with Nebridius now absent my Epistles can restifle And when shall I have time enough to make rehearsall of all the great benefits which thou at that time bestowedst upon me especially seeing I am now making hast to tell of greater matters For my remembrance now calls upon me and most pleasant it is to me O Lord to confesse unto thee by what inward prongs thou hast thus tamed mee and how thou hast taken mee downe by bringing low those mountaines and hils of my high imaginations and madest my crookednesse straight and my rough waies smooth And by what meanes thou also subduedst that brother of my love Alipius unto the name of thy onely begotten Sonne our Lord and Saviour Iesus Christ which he at first would not vouchsafe to have it put into our writings For rather would he have had them favour of the lofty Cedars of the Schooles which the Lord had now broken downe than of those wholesome hearbes of thy Church which are so powerfull against Serpents 2. Oh what passionate voyces sent I up unto thee my God when as I read the Psalmes of David those faithfull songs Oh what sounds of devotion quite excluding the swelling spirit of ostentation when namely I was yet but Rude in my kindly loving of thee as being â—uta Catechumenus as yet in the Country whither I had withdrawne my selfe together with Alipius a Catechumenus also and with my Mother likewise inseparably sticking unto us in a womans habit verily but with a masculine faith voyd of worldly care as a woman in her yeeres should be yet imploying a matronely charity and a Christian piety Oh what passionate expressions made I unto thee in the reading of those Psalmes Oh how was I inflamed towards thee by them yea I was on fire to have resounded them had I been able in the hearing of the whole world to the shame of the pride of mankind though verily they be already sung all the world over nor can any hide themselves from thy heate With what vehement and bitter sorrow was I angred at the Manichees whom yet againe I pittied for that they knew nothing of those Sacraments those Medicaments and for that they were so madde at that Antidote which had been able to recover them I heartily wished they had beene somewhere or other neere me I not knowing that they did then heare me or were then so neere me that they might have beheld my face and heard my words when as I read the fourth Psalme in that time of my leasure and how that Psalme wrought upon me 3. When I called upon thee thou heardest me O God of my righteousnesse thou hast enlarged mee in my distresse Have mercy upon mee O Lord and heare my prayer That they might heare I say what I uttered at the reading of these words I not knowing whether they heard me or no lest they should thinke I spake it purposely against them Because in good truth neither would I have spoken the same things nor in the same manner had I perceived them to have both heard and seene me But had I so spoken yet would not they so have understood how with my selfe and to my selfe before thee out of the familiar and ordinary affection of my soule I quaked for feare and boy led high againe with hope and with rejoycing in thy mercy O Father And all these expressions of my selfe passed forth both by mine eyes and voyce at what time as thy good Spirit turning himselfe towards us said O yee sonnes of men
open vnto mee 2 But doe thou O my most private Physicion make apparent vnto mee what fruite I may reape by doing it For the confessions of my passed sinnes which thou hast so giuen and couered that thou mightest make mee happy in thee in changing my life by thy sayth and Sacrament whenas they are read and heard they stirre vp the heart that it may not sleepe in despaire and say I cannot but keepe it selfe wakefull in the loue of thy mercy and the sweetnesse of thy grace by which any weake persons is made strong who is by it made guilty to himselfe of his owne infirmities As for these that are good they take delight to heare of their passed errours those I meane that are now freed from them yet are they not therefore delighted because they are errors but for that they hauing so beene are not so now 3. With what fruit O Lord my God to whom my conscience more secure vpon the hope of thy mercy then in her own inocēcy maketh her daily confession with what fruit I beseech thee doe I by this Booke before Thee also confesse vnto men what at this time I yet am not what I haue beene For as for that fruit I haue both seene spoken of it but as for what I now am behold in the very time of the making of these Cōfessions diuers people both desired to know it both they that personally know mee and those also that did not they that had heard any thing eyther from me or of me but their care ouer-heares not my heart where-euer or what-euer I be They are desirous therefore to heare mee confesse what I am within whither neyther their eye nor eare nor vnderstanding is able to diue yet doe they desire it though they bee tyed to beleeue mee not able to know me because that Clarity by which they are made good sayes vnto them that I would neuer belye my selfe in my Confessions And t is that Charity in them which giues credit to me CHAP. 4. Of the great fruite of Confession 1. BVt to what end would they heare this doe they desire to congratulate with mee when as they shall heare how neere by thy grace I am now come vnto thee and to pray for mee when shall they once heare how much I am cast behind by mine owne heauinesse To such will I discouer my selfe for it is no meane fruite O Lord my God to cause many to me thankes vnto thee and bee intreated for vs by many Let the friendly minde of my brethren loue that in mee which thou teachest is to bee loued and lament in me what thou teachest is to be lamented Let the minde of my brethren not that of the stranger not that of the Strange children whose mouth talketh of vanity and their right hand is a right hand of iniquity but that of my brethren who when they approue of mee doe also reioyce for mee and when they disallow mee are sory for me because that whether they allow or disallow me yet still they loue me To such will I discouer my selfe they will haue a respect to my good deedes and sigh for my ill My good deedes are thine appoyntments and thy gifts my euill ones are my owne faults and thy iudgements Let them receiue comfort by the one and sigh at the other Let now both thanks-giuing and bewailing ascend vp into thy sight out of the hearts of my brethren which are thy Censers 2. And when thou O Lord art once delighted with the Incense of thy holy Temple haue mercy vpon me according to thy great mercy for thine owne names sake and at no hand giuing ouer what thou hast begunne in mee finish vp what is imperfect This is the fruit of my Confessions not of what I haue beene but of what I am namely to confesse this not before thee onely in a secret reioycing mixed with trembling and in a priuate sorrow fulnes allayed with hope but in the cares also of the beleeuing sonnes of men sharers of my ioy and partners in mortality with mee my fellow Citizens and fellow Pilgrimes both those that are gone before and those that are to follow after mee and those too that accompany mee along in this life 3. These are thy seruants my brethren those whom thou willest to be thy sonnes my masters whom thou commandedst mee to serue if I would liue with thee But this thy saying were to little purpose did it giue the command onely by speaking and not goe before mee in performing This therefore I now doe both in deede and word this I doe vnder thy wings and that with too much danger were not my soule sheltred vnder thy wings and my infirmity knowne vnto thee I am but a little one but my Father liueth for euer and my Protector is fit for mee For t is the very same hee that begat me and that defends meet for thou thy selfe art all my goods euen thou O omnipotent who art present with me and that before I am come vnto thee To such therefore will I discouer my selfe whom thou commandest mee to serue not discouering what I haue beene but what I now am and what I am yet But I will not iudge my selfe Thus therefore let mee be heard CHAP. 5. That man knoweth not himselfe throughly and knowes not God but in a glasse darkely 1. BVt thou O Lord doest iudge me because that although No man knowes the things of a man but the spirit of man which is in him Yet is there some thing of man which the very spirit of man that is in him knoweth not But thou knowest all of him who hast made him As for me though in thy sight I despise my selfe accounting my selfe but dust and ashes yet know I something of thee which I know not of my selfe For surely now wee see thorough a glasse darkely not face to face as yet so long therefore as I bee absent from thee I am neerer vnto my selfe then vnto thee and yet know I thee not possible to be any wayes violated whereas for my selfe I neyther know what temptations I am able to resist or what I am not 2. But there is hope because thou art faithfull who wilt not suffer vs to bee tempted aboue that wee are able but wilt with the temptation also make a way to escape that we may be able to beare it I will confesse therfore what I know by my selfe I will confesse yea and what I know not And that because what I doe know by my selfe by thy shewing it mee I come to know it and what I know not by my selfe I am so long ignorant of vntill my darkenesse bee made as the Noone-day in thy sight CHAP. 6. What God is and how knowne 1. NOt out of a doubtfull but with a certayne conscience doe I loue thee O Lord Thou hast strucken my heart with thy word therupon I loued thee Yea also the heauen
in my flesh as that these false visions perswade me vnto that when I am asleepe which true visions cannot doe when I am awake Am I not my selfe at that time O Lord my God And is there yet so much difference betwixt my selfe and my selfe in that moment wherein I passe from waking to sleeping or returne from sleeping vnto waking 2. Where is my reason at that time by which my mind when it is a wake resisteth such suggestions as these at which time should the things themselues presse in vpon mee yet would my resolution re maine vnshaken Is my reason clozed vp together with mine eyes or is it lull'd asleepe with the sences of my body But whence then comes it to posse that wee so often euen in our sleepe make such resistance and being mindefull of our purpose and remaine most chastly in it wee yeeld no assent vnto such enticements And yet so much difference there is as that when any thing hath otherwise hapned in our sleepe wee vpon our waking returne to peace of conscience by the distance of time discouering that it was not wee that did it notwithstanding wee bee sorry that there is something someway or other done in vs. Is not thy hand able O God almighty to cure all the discases of my soule and with a more abundant measure of thy grace also to quench the lasciuious motions of my sleepe 3. Thou shalt increase O Lord thy graces more and more vpon mee that my soule may follow my selfe home to thee wholy freed of that birdâ—ly me of concupiscence that it may no longer rebell against it selfe nor may in dreames not onely not commit these adult erous vncleannesses by meanes of these sensuall Images procuring pollution of the flesh but that it may not so much as once consent vnto them For to hinder that no such fancy no not so much as should neede any checke to restraine it doe its pleasure in the chast affection of those that sleepe not in this life onely but euen in this age of youth is not hard for the Almighty to doe who is able to doe aboue all that wee aske or thinke And for this time in what case I yet am in this kind of naughtinesse haue I confessed vnto my good Lord reioycing with trembling in that grace which thou hast already giuen me and bemoaning my selfe for that wherein I am still vnperfect well hoping that thou wilt one day perfect thy mercies in mee euen vnto a fulnesse of peace which both my outward and inward man shall at that time enioy with thee whenas death shall be swallowed vp in victory CHAP. 31. The temptation of eating and drinking 1. THere is another euill of the day which I wish were sufficient vnto it that we are fayne by eating and drinking to repaire the daily decayes of our body vntill such time as thou destroyest both belly and meat whenas thou shalt kill this emptinesse of mine with a wonderfull fulnesse and shalt cloath this incorruptible with an eternall incorruption Butin this life euen necessity is sweete vnto me against which swetnes do I fight lest I should bee beguiled by it yea a daily warre doe I make bringing my body into subiection by my fastings the pinchings whereof are by the pleasure I take in it expelled Hunger Thirst verily are painefull they burne vp and kill like a feaver vnlesse the physicke of nourishments relieue vs. Which for that it is readily to bee had out of the comfort wee receiue by thy gifts with which both land and water and ayre serue our necessities are our calamities termed our delicacies Thus much hast thou taught mee that I am to take my meat as sparingly as I would doe my Physicke 2. But in the while I am passing from the pinching of emptynesse vnto the content of a competent replenishing does that snare of lickorishnesse euen in the very passage lie in ambush for mee For that passage betweene is a kinde of pleasure nor is there any other way to passe by but that which necessity constraines vs to goe by And whereas health is the cause of our eating and drinking there will a dangerous lickorishnesse goes a-long with health like a handmayd yea endeauours oftentimes so to goe before it as that I eate that for my tooths sake which I eyther say I doe or desire to doe for my healths sake Nor is there the same moderation in both for that which is enough in respect of health is nothing neere enough in respect of lickorishnesse yea very vncertaine it is oftentimes whether the necessary care of my body still requires sustenance or whether a voluptuous deceiueablenesse of Epicurisme supplies lust with maintenance And for that this case is vncertaine does my vnhappy soule reioyce prouides it thereby of a protection of excuse reioycing for that it cannot now appeare what may bee sufficient for health that so vnder the cloake of health it may disguise the matter of Epicurisme 3. These enticements doe I endeauour to resist dayly yea I call thy right hand to help me and to thee doe I referre my perplexities for that I am resolued of no counsell as yet whereby to effect it I heare the voyce of my God commanding Let not your hearts bee ouercharged with surfeting and drunkennesse As for drunkennesse I am farre enough from it and thou wilt haue mercy vpon mee that it may neuer come neere mee But full-feeding hath many a time stolne vpon thy seruant but thou wilt haue mercy vpon mee that it may hereafter bee put farre from mee for no man can bee temperate vnlesse thou giue it Many things thou vouchsafest vnto vs which wee pray for and what good thing soeuer wee haue receiued before wee pray from thee haue we receiued it yea to this end haue wee already receiued it that wee might acknowledge so much afterwards Drunkard was I neuer but I haue knowne many a drunkard made a sober man by thee Thy doing therefore it is that such should bee kept from being drunkards hereafter who haue not beene that way faulty heeretofore as from thee it also comes that those should not continue faulty for euer who haue beene giuen to that vice heretofore yea from thee it likewise proceedes that both these parties should take notice from whom all this proceeded 4. I heard also another voyce of thine Goe not after thine owne lusts and from thine owne pleasures turne away thy face Yea by thy fauour haue I heard this saying likewise which I haue much delighted in Neyther if wee eate are wee the better neyther if wee eate not are we the worse which is to say that neythes shall this thing makes me rich nor that miserable Also another voyce of thine haue I heard For I haue learned in whatsoeuer state I am therewith to be content and I know how to abound and how to suffer neede I can doe all things through Christ that
therefore to bee deluded For they being high-minded haue sought thee in the pride of their learning strutting out rather then knocking vp on their brests and so by the agreement of their heart haue they drawne vnto themselues the Princes of the Ayre their fellow conspirators in pride by whom through the force of Magick they were decerued euen while they sought for a Mediator by whom they might bee purged but there was none to be found For the diuel it was transfiguring now himselfe into an Angel of light 2. Many wayes therefore was hee able to entice proud flesh for that him selfe was not of any fleshly body For fleshly men were mortall and sinnefulli but thou Lord to whom they this proud way sought to be reconciled art immortall and without sinne A mediator now betweene God and man must haue something like vnto God and something like vnto men lest that being like vnto man in both natures he should be too farre vnlike God or if like vnto God in both natures hee should be too farre vnlike vnto men and so be a Mediator neyther way That deceitfull Mediator therfore by whom in thy secret iudgement mans pride deserued to be deluded hath one thing indeed common with himselfe to men and that 's Sinne and desires to seem to communicate in another thing with God that because hee is not cloathed with any mortality of flesh he might thereby vaunt himselfe to bee immortall But for that the wages of sin is death this hath he common to himselfe with men for which he might together with them â—â— condemned vnto death CHAP. 43. Christ onely in the all-sufficient Intercessor 1. BVt the true Mediator whom out of thy secret mercy thou hast shewed forth vnto the humble and whom thou sentest that by his example they might learne the true humility that Mediator therefore betweene God and man the man Christ Iesus appeared betwixt mortall sinners and the immortall Iust One being mortall as men and iust like God that because the reward of righteousnesse is life and peace hee might by his righteousnesse which was ioyned to God make voyd the death of as many of the wicked as were by him iustified which death his will was to haue common both to them and him Hee was shewed forth vnto Holy men of old to the intent that they might be saued through sayth in his passion to come like as wee are through sayth of it already passed For how farre-forth he was a man so far-forth was hee a Mediator but so farre-forth as he is the Word hee is not meerely midway to God because he is equall vnto God and God with God together with the Holy Ghost one God 2. How hast thou loued vs O good Father that hast not spared thine onely Sonne but hast deliuered him vnto death for vs wicked men how hast thou loued vs for whom Hee that thought it no robbery to bee equall with God was made subiect vnto death euen the death of the crosse hee that was onely free among the dead that had power to lay downe his life and power to take it againe for vs was hee vnto thee both the Conquerour and the Sacrifice yea and therefore the Conquerour because the Sacrifice for vs was hee vnto thee both Priest and Sacrifice and therefore the Priest because the Sacrifice of slaues making vs thy children by being borne of thee and by becomming a seruant vnto vs. Deseruedly therefore is my hope strongly setled vpon him that thou wilt by him cure all my infirmities euen by him that sits at thy right hand and maketh intercession for vs whereas otherwise I should despaire vtterly For many and great are those infirmities of mine yea many they are and great but thy medicine is more soueraigne 3. Imagine we might that thy Word was farre enough from being vnited with man and so despayre of our selues vnlesse It had beene made flesh and dwelt amongst vs. Affrighted thus with mine owne sinnes the burthen of mine owne misery I cast these thoughts in my heart bethinking my selfe of fleeing into the Wildernesse but thou for baddest me and strengthenedst mee saying Therefore Christ dyed for all that they which liue may now no longer liue vnto themselues but vnto him that dyed for them See Lord I hence forth cast all my care vpon thee that I may liue and consider the wonderfull things of thy law Thou knowest both my vnskilfulnesse and my infirmities Oh teach me and heale mee That onely Sonne of thine in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdome and knowledge hath redeemed mee with his blood Let not the proud speake euill of mee now for that I meditate vpon the price of my redemption and do eate drink and giue vnto the poore and being poore my selfe desire to be filled by him amongst those that eate and are satisfied and they shall praise the Lord who seeke him The end of the tenth Booke Saint Augustines Confessions The eleuenth Booke CHAP. 1. Why we confesse vnto God who knowes all CAnst thou that art the Lord of all eternity be ignorant of what I say vnto thee or doest thou see but for a time that which passeth in time To what end then doe I lay in order before thee so many â—arrations not to this end doe I it that thou mightest come to know them vpon my relation but there by to stirre vp mine owne and my Readers deuotions towards thee that wee may say all together Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised Now haue I sayd and againe say it I will For the loue of thy loue make I this Confession For we vse to pray also and yet Truth it selfe hath sayd Your Father knoweth what you haue neede of before you aske T is our affection therefore which wee hereby lay open vnto thee while wee confesse our owne miseries and thy mercies vpon vs that thou mightest thorowly set vs free seeing already thou hast begun to make vs leaue to bee wretched in our selues and to be happy in thee seeing thou hast called vs that wee may become poore in spirit and meeke and mournfull and bungry and thirsty after righteousnesse and mercifull and pure in heart and peace-makers See I haue told thee many things such as I could and such I was desirous to doe because thou desirest first that I should confesse vnto my Lord God For thou art good and that thy mercy endureth for euer CHAP. 2. He sueth to be deliuered from his sinnes and errors and to bee guided vnto the true knowledge 1. BVt when shall I bee able with the pen of my tongue to set forth all thy Exhortations and all thy terrors and comforts and directions by which thou hast brought mee vp to bee a Preacher of thy Werd and a Dispencer of thy Sacrament vnto thy people If I now bee able to declare these things to thee in order the very
drops of time are precious with mee and I haue long since had a burning desire to meditate in thy law and by it to confesse both my skill and vnskilfulnesse vnto thee the morning light of thy enlightning mee and the relikes of darknesse in mee so long remayning swallowed vp by till infirmitie bee strength Nor will I suffer my houres to bee squandered away vpon any other thing which I finde free from the necessities of refreshing of my body and the recreating of my minde and the complying in those offices of seruice which wee owe vnto men yea also which wee owe not and yet pay them 2. Giue eare vnto my prayer O Lord my God and let thy mercy hearken vnto my petition because it stryueth not to entreate for my selfe alone but to be beneficiall also to my brethren Thou seest my heart that so it is and that I am ready to sacrifice vnto thee the best seruice of my thoughts and tongue now giue mee what I am to offer vnto thee For I am poore and needy but thou art rich to all those that call vpon thee who not distracted with cares thy selfe takest the care of all vs. From all rashnesse and lying doe thou circumcise both my inward and my outward lippes Let my chaste delights bee thy Scriptures let me neyther be deceiued in them nor deceiued by them Hearken Lord and haue mercy vpon me O Lord my God O thou light of the blind and the strength of the weake yea also the light of those that see and the strength of the strong hearken thou vnto my soule and heare mee crying vnto thee out of the Deepe For if thine eares bee not with vs also in the Deepe whither then shall wee goe to whom shall wee cry The day is thine and the night is thine at thy backe the time passes away 3. Affoord out of it some spure time for my meditations vpon the hidden things of thy Law which I beseech thee shut not vp when they knocke for entrance at it For in vayne it was not that thou wouldest haue so many leaues full of darkesome secrets committed vnto wryting nor are those Fortests without their Harts which retire themselues into them making their range and walkes in them feeding lodging and chewing the Cud in them Perfect me O Lord and reueale them vnto me Behold thy voyce is my ioy yea thy voyce exceedeth the abundance of all pleasures Giue mee what I loue for verily I doe loue it and this loue is of thy giuing Forsake not therfore thine owne gifts nor despise thou him that thirsteth after thy herbage Let me confesse vnto thee whatsoeuer I shall finde in thy bookes and let mee heare the voyce of prayse and let me drinke thee vp and let me consider of the wonderfull things of thy law euen frō the very Beginning wherein Thou madest the heauen and the earth vnto that euerlasting kingdome of thy holy City which is before thee Haue mercy Lord vpon mee and heare my petition for it is not I suppose of the earth not for gold siuer or precious stones or gorgeous apparell or honors and offices or the pleasures of the flesh or necessaries for the body or for this life of our earthly pilgrimage all which shall bee added vnto those that seeke thy kingdome thy righteousnesse Behold O Lord my God what it is that I now desire The vngodly haue sometimes told mee what themselues delight in but they are not like the delights of thy Law See now whence my desire proceedes 4. See Father behold and approue and let it bee pleasing in the sight of thy mercy that I shall find so much grace with thee as that the Secrets of thy Word may bee opened vnto mee when I knocke By our Lord Iesus Christ thy Sonne I beseech thee that man on thy right hand that Sonne of man whom thou hast appoynted a Mediator betwixt thy selfe and vs by whom thou soughtest vs who little sought for thee yet didst thou seeke vs that wee might seeke thee and thy Word by whom thou madest all things and mee amongst them Thy Onely Sonne by whom thou hast called the beleeuing people vnto thee and mee amongst them by Him I beseech thee who sitteth at thy right hand and makes intercession for vs in whom are hid all the treasures of wisedome and knowledge Him doe I seeke in thy bookes of Him Moses wrote this hee sayes this Truth sayes CHAP. 3. Hee desires to vnderstand the holy Scriptures 1. LEt mee heare and vnderstand how thou In the beginning hast made Heauen and Earth This Moses wrote of he wrote and passed away hee passed from hence vnto thee for he is not at this present before mine eyes for if hee were then would I lay hold of him and intreate him and for thy sake would I beseech him to open these things vnto me yea I would lay mine eares vnto his mouth But should he speake in the Hebrew tongue in vayne should hee beate mine eares for neuer should he come neere my vnderstanding whenas if he spake Latine I should well enough know what hee sayd 2. But how should I know whether he sayd true or no and if I could learne this too should I know it by him For within mee in that inward house of my thoughts neither the Hebrew nor the Greeke nor the Latine nor any other language but euen Truth it selfe and that without any helps of the mouth tongue without any sound of sillables should tell me He sayes true and my selfe therupon assured of it would confidently say vnto that seruant of thine Thou speakest truth Seeing I haue not now the meanes to conferre with Moses I beg of thee my God inspired by whom he vttred these truths I beg of thee the pardon of my sinnes and thou that enabledst that seruant of thine to deliuer these Truthes enable mee also to vnderstand them CHAP. 4. The Creatures proclayme God to bee their Creator 1 BEhold the heauens and the earth are already they proclaime themselues to haue beene created for they are changed and altered from what they were Whereas whatsoeuer is not made and yet hath a being hath nothing in it now which it had not before which to haue were indeede to bee changed and altered They proclayme also that they made not thēselues but say Therefore wee are because we are made and therefore were wee not before our time was to bee as if we could possibly haue made our selues Now the euidentnesse of the thing is this voyce of the Speakers 'T is thou therefore O Lord that madest them thou who art full of beauty they beeing fayre also thou who art good they also beeing good euen Thou who hast Being seeing these haue their Beings yet are they neyther so fayre so good nor are so as thou their Creator art compared with whom they are neyther fayre nor good nor are at all Thus much wee know thankes to