inheritance yet O my Father thou hast not lost the heart of a Father though I have fallen from thee my Father yet wilt not thou fall from me or cease to be my Father that word never failed As I live I will not the death of a sinner but that hee may bee converted and live And although my sins be innumerable and my wounds may seeme incurable yet art not thou ignorant of a way to cure me confirme therefore and fulfill thy promises wash me effectually with the blood of thy Son that as to me his death prove not in vaine I am as well a part of his flesh and he a part of mine as Peter David or Paul he is as well to me an Emmanuel as to any other Hee bare the sins of the whole world and therefore hee bore mine also Looke back therefore look back therefore O Lord upon this lost sheepe regard thy creature nor contend with him in thy fury whom thou hast made with thy hands take care O Lord of the soule which thou hast redeemed I come creeping to thee wounded with many wounds but thou most experienced Physitian of soules and Maâ—â—er of the diseased canst heale them all I come being blinded but thou canst enlighten me I come dead unto thee but thou canst give me life I come full of leprosie but thou canst cleanse me Sprinkle me with Hysop and I shall be cleane wash me and I shall be whiter than snow O my God the God of my life thy mercy is greater than my sins thy clemencie exceeds all my iniquities Thou canst forgiue more O Lord than I can offend thy mercies are bottomlesse and numberlesse but as many as my sins are and as great as they are they are neither bottomlesse nor numberlesse Take me out therefore and deliver mee forgive mee my great injustice take away my stony and hard heart and create in me a soft and a cleane heart that even in this life I may give thee thanks let me by my faith and good example bring sinners to thee and let me glorifie thee and celebrate thee for these and other thy innumerable blessings for evermore Amen my God be it so even so be it my Lord Jesus Christ CONTEMP c. 38. Of the greatnesse and foulnesse of our sinnes and of the Confession of them I Am affraid of my rashnesse when I consider with my selfe what a Majestie I have offended with my sins when I consider how benigne and wonderfull a Father I have forsaken I detest mine owne ingratitude when I consider from how happie a libertie of spirit into how miserable servitude I have cast my selfe I condemne mine owne madnesse and am wholly displeasing to my selfe nor have any other object before my eyes but hell and desperation namely that doth terrifie my conscience by Gods inevitable Justice I am to be consumed like rottennesse sin is rottennesse indeed for it destroyes the beauty of the soule the sweet savour of a good name the worth of grace the relish of glory it is truly durt being wallowed therein we become abominable to honest men the good Angels and the just God It is truely smoak that foretels us that hell-fire is not farre from it and doth drive away the heavenly Dove It is indeed the Devils taverne in which for the price of soules hee sels the world the wine of pleasure it is the dart with which our soule is pierced thorow and is deprived of all vigour and life It is true sicknesse because it leaves us no health in our flesh nor from the presence of Gods wrath grants us any quietnesse in our bones It is truly a Sea for it swels over our head and easily swalloweth up our whole body It is truly a burden because a sinner is most burdened therewith and is even pressed downe unto hell it selfe But whither shall I goe where shall I withdraw my selfe Ah! be mercifull unto me O take pitie upon mee according to thy great mercy and according to the multitude of thy compassions wash away mine iniquities Against thee against thee onely have I sinned and done this evill in thy sight behold I am begotten in iniquitie and in sinne hath my mother conceived me I have gone astray like a sheepe that perisheth seeke out thy lost sheep O Lord remember not the faults and transgressions of my youth O Lord who understands his owne sins Cleanse me from my secret offences Enter not into judgement with thy servant because no man living can be justified before thee Remember O Lord thy mercies and compassions which have been of old Remember me according to thy mercies even for thy goodnesse sake O Lord. O Lord be mercifull unto mine offences make thy mercies wonderfull thou who savest those that trust in thee Turne not thy face from me nor cast away thy servant in displeasure for in death no man remembreth thee nor shall any praise thee in the grave What profit is in my bloud when I descend into corruption Shall dust give praise unto thee or set forth thy truth Regard and heare me O God lighten mine eyes that I sleepe not in death Set not thy mercies farre from me for thy mercy and truth doe alwayes preserve in thee O Lord have I trusted let me never be confounded Amen CONTEMP c. 39. Of Gods readinesse to forgive sinnes and our thankesgiving for the forgivenesse of them WHo can despaire of pardon from him who doth so often in the writings of the Prophets of his owne accord invite sinners to repentance crying out That he would not the death of a sinner but rather that he should bee converted and live How ready is also his pardon to them that repent he hath inculcated unto us by his only begotten Son in many of his Parables as of the groat that was lost and found againe the strayed sheepe brought back upon the shoulders but more plainly by that of the prodigall sonne whose very image I am No man O God is so ready to sinne but thou art far more ready in thy good time to pardon our sinnes O pitifull and mercifull Lord slow to anger and very pitifull He strives not with us for ever neither is he alwayes wrath with us Because as the heaven is higher than the earth so hath he made his mercies to prevaile over me As farre as the East is distant from the West so far hath he set my sins from me As a father taketh pity upon his sonne so hath the Lord taken pity upon me he hath washed me from my iniquity he hath clensed me from my sins he knows whereof we be made he remembers we are but dust Why art thou sad ô my soule and why art thou troubled returne ô my soule into thy rest for the Lord hath done thee good He hath delivered my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feet from falling Blessed are they whose sins are forgiven and whose offences are covered Blessed is the man unto whom the
the holy Church but pure simplicity and innocencie of life in one house the holy Catholique Church Christ is offered to the faithfull departing out of Aegypt being cleansed in their affections by his blood in their passage in the red Sea O Jesu Christ our omnipotent Lord God thou Fountaine of life and immortalitie thou Creator of every visible and invisible thing that art the eternall Son of the everlasting Father who of thy abundant goodnesse in the last times didst take our flesh upon thee and wast delivered and crucified for us sinfull and unthankful creatures thou by thine owne blood hast restored our nature corrupted by sin and givest me thy flesh for my food But thou art a fire and consumest those that be unworthy destroy me not my Maker rather come into the union of my members into all my sinewes into my reines into my heart burne up the sting of my sinnes cleanse my soule sanctifie my minde enlighten my five senses glew me firmely to thy selfe in love alwayes protect and defend mee preserve mee from every word and work that may hurt my soule purge cleanse and direct me adorne instruct and make mee famous make mee the temple of thy Spirit only and not the habitation of sinne that being made thy house by the entrance of thy holy Communion all impiety and all evill may fly from mee Let thy holy body be made everlasting Bread unto mee Mercifull Lord let thy precious blood become a remedy of sundry diseases unto me fearfull and wicked wretch that I am defiled with absurd works I am unworthy of thy pure body and heavenly blood O Christ doe thou make me worthy to be partaker of thee give me O Christ the drops of teares to wash my filthy heart that having a pure conscience I may come in faith and feare to receive thy heavenly gifts O most mercifull Saviour let thy unspotted body and divine blood be made unto mee the participation of thy holy Spirit eternall life and a change of my sufferings and miseries Heale the wounds of my soule O Lord and sanctifie me through-out and make mee unworthy wretch worthy to be partaker of thy mysticall divine Supper be it unto thy most vile servant as thou hast promised and remaine in mee as thou hast said For behold I eat thy divine body and doe drink thy blood Thou Word of God and God him selfe let the flame of thy body enlighten me that am all obscurity and let thy blood be also a purgation to my corrupted soule Sanctifie my understanding soule heart and body O my Saviour and make it worthy O Lord to come to these fearfull mysteries without being condemned I shall obtaine new effects and will receive the increase of thy grace and preservation of my life by the participation of thy mysteries O Christ O holy Word of God God himselfe sanctifie mee throughly that am comming to thy divine mysteries Despise mee not O Christ when I receive the bread which is thy body and whilst wretch that I am I am made partaker of thy most pure and fearfull mysteries that they prove not condemnation unto me But let them be unto me O Christ eternall and everlasting life O Christ thou Fountaine of goodnesse let the receiving of thy immortall mysteries become light and life unto me and cause the avoyding of vitious affections and the encrease of heavenly vertues in me O thou only Goodnesse that I may glorifie thee Amen CONTEMP c. 41. Of those things which are to be meditated upon after the receiving of the Sacrament of the Supper LEt thy servant speak thine owne Word in thy eares that thou be not angry with thy servant O Lord my King Thou hast slaine thy Sacrifices thou hast mingled thy wine and prepared thy Table thou hast sent forth thy maydens that they might invite to thy tower of defence that if there were any little one he might come unto thee Thou hast said Goe forth yee daughters of Sion and behold your King crowned with the Crowne wherewith his mother begirt his head in the day of his betrothing in the day of the gladnesse of his heart Thou hast said O Lord unto thy servant Go out quickly into the wayes and streets of the citie and bring in hither both the poore and the weak both the lame and the blind and compell them to come in that my house may bee full I being called came and saw was led in and tasted thou turnedst not thy selfe away from thy servant nor saidst thou Thou shalt not see my face Thou hast shewed thy selfe unto me my Comforter I beheld thee thou Light of mine eyes I felt the joy of spirit and was touched with gladnesse of heart Thou didst prepare great things for me O my Delight and sweet content O Lord my God my Life and sole Glory of my soule I have found thee out O thou Desire of my heart I have held thee fast O thou Love of my soule O let me retaine thee thou Life of my soule I will love thee O Lord my Strength my Castle my Refuge and my Deliverer Let me love thee my God the Tower of my might and my pleasing hope in all my tribulations I will enbrace thee who art that Good without which nothing can be good I will enjoy thee the Best without whom nothing is best I will exalt thee my God and King and will blesse thy Name for ever and ever every day will I praise thee and blesse thy Name for ever and ever The Lord is great and exceedingly to be praised and of his greatnesse there is no end Generation from generation shall praise thy works and shall declare thy power shall speak of the magnificence of the glory of thy holinesse and shall tell of thy wonderfull works They shal break forth in remembrance of thy abundant sweetnesse and shall exult in thy righteousnesse O mercifull and pitifull Lord patient and full of compassion the Lord is sweet to all and his mercies are over all his works All thy works O Lord do praise thee and thy Saints doe blesse thee they speak of the glory of thy Kingdome and tell of thy power for thou art my true and living God my great King my guide to my Countrey my true light my holy sweetnesse my true life my excellent wisdome my pure simplicity my peacefull concord my safe protection my good portion my everlasting safety my great mercy my strongest patience my unspotted Sacrifice my holy Redemption my firme hope my perfect Charity my true Resurrection my life eternall my most happie ever enduring exultation and most blessed vision Thou my God wast pleased for no merits of mine but onely by vouchsafing me thy mercies to satisfie thy unworthy servant with the precious body and blood of thy Sonne our Lord Jesus Christ What manner of food What drink was this O the memoriall of the Lords death What shall I repay unto the Lord for all that he hath bestowed upon me O know
power is great and there is no summing up of thy greatnesse and goodnesse beneficence and clemency Though but a man I will confesse thee though I am but one piece of thy Creation and but a man that carries his mortality about him and that beares within him a testimony of his sinnes though such a man such a portion of thy Creation yet will I praise thee If I were without thee I should not be whatsoever I am I should become nothing Thou wast in mee to make me have a being and to be with thee but I departed from thee although I am thus in thee and with thee But how could I depart or be absent from thee how could I fly from thy face if I ascended into Heaven thou wast there for thence didst thou cast downe headlong the spirit of pride and authour of disobedience if I should make my bed in hell thou wouldest be there also for thou hast the keyes thereof and setst open the gates thereof for them that trust not in thee if I should plunge my selfe in the depth of the Sea thou wouldest there find mee for thou didst cast disobedient peevish Jonah into the maw of the whale thou madest him there a prisoner 3 nights and 3 dayes and then didest draw him thence neither torne hurt or wounded if also I should take the wings of the morning and make my habitation beyond the farthest Seas even there would thy hand lead mee and thy right hand take hold upon mee if I should say yet shall the darknesse hide me why even night shall be turned into day unto me darknesse it selfe cannot hide from thee the night to thee shines like the day darknesse is light and light as darknesse not houses nor vailes nor walls nor enclosures no caves that are under ground or dens that are full of darknesse can shut out thy presence thou art more nearely present with us than we are to our selves Thou searchest through our life our actions and all our thoughts Can any lurking place hide any from thy presence Doest not thou fill heaven and earth and art a God at hand and also afarr off Thou art all eye for thou seest all things all eare because thou hearest all things all hand for thou framest all things all foot for thou art every where present thou art neare me thou art with me thou art in mee thou sittest within mee thou art an observer of all my good and evill and art my protector yet my God I went from thee I departed and forsook thee I blush when I speak this yet I speak it willingly because forthwith thy mercy offers it selfe vnto me Souldiers that keep not their stations are punished with death and hee that in the battell first begins to runne loses his life yea for a man but to lose his target is counted a crime and to cast away his weapons is counted a most reproachfull thing Ah! how foulely have I left my station without thy command O heavenly eternall commander there was yet no ordered or marshalled battell with Satan I was but only assailed by a light skirmish and at the very first onset I threw away the buckler of my integrity and faith I suffered my weapons to bee shaken out of my hands and I fled from my allegeance from before thy face With what a slight resistance and by how childish a valour might I have overcome Satan it was my sloath and not his force that made him strong As a man greedy of gaine seeing an orphant have riches entices him often to his house makes him a banquet bestowes something on him and beguiles him with faire words till hee hath gotten his meanes so the devill seeing that I had a pretious treasure heavenly wisdome layd up in an earthen chest presently offered mee wealth pleasures and honours that baited with these hee might spoyle mee of my heavenly riches he hath stripped mee and spoyled mee of all my treasure which I ought to have kept holily and might without difficulty have done it But what gave he me in requitall what riches what pleasures what honours What can he repay whose inheritance and riches is that infernall torment that gulfe that vomits forth pitch and flames whose torments are without end and his confusion everlasting But thou my God for my backsliding hast rendered a reacceptance of me for my falling from thee thou hast requited mee with thy favour For thy grace and mercy is precedent and greater than my whole offence and all my failings I read it spoken by thy Kingly servant that thy mercy is great great hee said it was but how great hee could not tell wee have knowne that it is great but how great we have not knowne nor can perceive We know not the quantity of it's greatnesse which cannot be expressed in words Wee see the fruit of mercy is great for were it not extended beyond measure we had not after our Fall been received of thee Ah what is sinne to the mercy of God A spiders web that a blast of wind makes invisible Consider a spark of fire if it should fall into the Sea could it continue living or visible as a spark to the Sea so is mans malice to Gods Pitty and Clemency yea not so only but farre lesse for the Ocean though it be vast yet is not unmeasurable but of Gods mercies there is no measure CONTEMP c. 4. Of the Councell of the Trinity touching the Creation of Man and of the end why Man was created WHat is man that thou wast mindfull of him what the son of man that thou didst visit him Thou thoughtest of me before I had a being I was in thy minde before I was in the world thou appointedst a consult O my God when thou wast to make me after thou hadst brought forth all things and hadst built this vast stage of the world hadst replenished and adorned it thou didst say Let us make man after our Image Thou God and Father who art the beginning and originall of the Trinity with whom consultedst thou was it with the Angels and those holy Inhabitants of heaven why surely they joyned not with thee in the Creation of man nor was man made according to their similitude Did hee consult with the Earth or with the Sun because the Sun and man are said to generate man who may be suffered to trifle thus Let us make man saidst thou we our selves will be busie about him and not an Angell not the Earth not the Sunne not the Water nor any other thing But who is with thee doest thou speak in the Potentates language Nor was this sutable thou speakest to thy Coeternall and Coessentiall Son and holy Spirit thou speakest God with God one God as the Father workes so works the Son and holy Ghost they work but one Thou createdst man the worke of the whole Trinity to live in this world better than the whole world the most exquisite Creature of all creatures the most
of him in whom thou hast placed all thy hope and trust I therefore that am forsaken of all doe bring to both of you that small ayd I am able thou O Mother behold another Sonne for thee thou my disciple behold another helpe for thee O most holy Jesus O most faithfull Saviour O most mercifull helper how many sad widows doest thou even now comfort how many poore orphans doest thou now relieve how many afflicted persons doest thou now take charge of I am also widowed of all comfort and deprived of all sustenance robbed of all protection and aid the anxieties of my mind are many my affliction is great my griefes are multiplied comfort me sustaine me take care of me O thou omnipotent Comforter of those that bee sad thou Strength of those that labour let my groanes come unto thee what extremity soever I am in that in my necessities I may joy in the presence of thy mercy Heare also yee that have eares to heare the fourth word Let my soule attend let my spirit attend and let all the devotion that is in me give her attention our Priest in the dayes of his flesh offered up prayers and supplications with teares and strong cries unto him that was able to save him from death My God my God why hast thou forsaken me The just God and heavenly Father who begate thee from eternity who by a voyce from heaven testified of thee This is my beloved Sonne heare him hath forgotten thee hee left thee not for thine owne cause but for mine for I by my sinnes have begotten thee these labours and griefes it was I was to be forsaken but thou stoodest in my stead thou who speakest righteousnesse who art the bulwarke of salvation hast trod the wine-presse alone and there was not a man to helpe thee thou lookedst about and there was no helper thou soughtest but foundst none that might save O how bitter was this forsaking to thee but how pleasant and how happie to mee Thou God exceeding long-suffering thou shalt not leave me for ever because thy Sonne was forsaken for me Thou ardent lover of my soule thou diligent Saviour of sinners thou most courteous searcher of men thy most obedient Sonne tooke on him the punishment which was due for my sins which are so much against thee hee hath borne the sinners burthen hee hath endured the horrours of death and terrours of hell and hath most largely satisfied for me Leave me not then O my God depart not from me O my God in the day of my death if the so copious satisfaction of thy Sonne if my so dangerous misery can move thee to compassion be present with me most miserable sinner pitifully heare my prayers and help mee in the houre of death neither remember my iniquities but O thou fountaine of mercyes deale with mee according to thy exceeding great mercy CONTEMP c. 20. Of the fifth word of Christ uttered upon the Crosse GAther O gather your selves together and heare saith the Patriarch Iacob when he stretched forth his feet to enter into the way of all flesh and stood even at the threshold of his wished-for eternity but if the last words of a man were to bee received with such attention what attention may be required what fervour what diligence to heare his last words who is both God and man who is above all the Patriarches in whom all the Patriarches did trust and whom they wished so often to behold The words were seven The number of seven is a peculiar number a holy number and is used in many mysteries it is here also peculiar it is holy and not barren of mysteries thou hast already understood this O my soule and thou shalt know it in part hereafter The first word of our Lord was I thirst ah Lord all thy spirits were dissipated all thy strength issued forth in the torrent of thy blood for thou wast a man of sorrowes and experienced in infirmities despised and a man of the least esteeme although thou haddest committed no offence nor was guile found in thy mouth therefore wast thou scorched with extream thirst and yet thou Saviour and preserver of men thou couldest not obtaine drink from men O most barbarous cruelty the Lord did travell with extreame thirst at the beginning of his passion and that thirst did increase still more and more so that it was one of the greater sort of torments which the Lord endured upon the crosse for the letting out of the great plenty of the vitall fountaine doth dry and cause thirst therefore the Lord who after much wearinesse and by his scourging lost much blood and afterwards being crucified had foure open fountaines as it were in his body from which great plenty of blood had for a long time issued forth how could it be but that hee must be tormented with extreame thirst They who have received many wounds from which much blood doth flow desire nothing so much as drink as if they suffered nothing but thirst but who was there that took pitty and offered so much as cold water who was present who had a fellow-feeling of his sorrowes there was not one nor any found to comfort him O Jesus thou heavenly Lord they gave thee gall to eate and in thy thirst they have thee vineger to drink thy beloved John saith there was a vessell set full of vineger and they fastning a sponge full of vineger to an hysop stalk offered it to his mouth O cruell wickednesse as they had at the beginning a little before his crucifying offered him wine mixed with gall so at the departure of his soule they offer him vineger a most pernitious thing for his wounds that Christs passion might be a true and continued passion from the beginning to the end without any mixture of comfort in stead of refreshing and pleasing liquour they offer him hurtfull and bitter O refreshing without any refreshing O most lamentable consolation When Sampson had slaine the Philistims he thirsted exceedingly and the Lord opened a great tooth for him in the jaw-bone of an asse whence waters did flow and thou when thou haddest overcome the most potent enemies the world satan and death diddest also thirst extreamely but no waters were given thee and the Antitype was in a farre worse condition than the type which the Conquerour of the Philistims did represent wee alas had deserved eternall thirst to us was due that scorching heat which the glutton had when hee lifted up his eyes being in torments and saw Abraham afarre off and Lazarus in his bosome and crying said Father Abraham take pitty of me and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and refresh my tongue for I am tormented in these flames but thou that takest pitty of us that most ardently thirstest for our salvation hast in thy thirst suffered that thirst and hast deserved so much for us that we shall one day neither hunger nor thirst any more neither
salvation is left for him that turnes repentance it selfe into sinne which is the meanes of salvation O miserable soule that desires to see holy things and lives a heathenish life Observe in what a manner the wicked end their dayes so that thou mayest detest their lives See how the godly end their lives that thou mayest run the same course as they doe Obey thy Superiours honour those that are wise keepe company with those that be honest and religiously given And seeing mans corrupt nature doth much love hypocrisie touch not nor use the Sacrament before thou have founded the depth of thine owne heart most accurately Rule over those that are subject to thy command more by courtesie than severity courtesie is full of hope and tyranny of feare Gods justice will not suffer a tyrant to continue long for though subjects both by Gods laws and also by mans ought to yeeld obedience to Magistrates yet the Magistrates themselves are but Gods Ministers and if wee consider them as they are Christians they are not only servants but our brethren also in Christ Christians therefore must rule like Christians in charity and mercie as Christ hath taught us by his own example Art thou made a Judge give right judgement remembring that thy selfe must appeare before Gods Judgement Seat he is cursed that blesseth the wicked but blessed that blesseth the blessed O man how dangerous is mans life what a great account hath he to give what a short space is it but thou must appeare at Gods Tribunall What then must thou doe What deed hast thou committed How wouldest thou appeare if thou wert this houre to depart If thou wert to appeare this moment before thy Examiner It would quickly be determined concerning thee Thou art to day a man shalt thou appeare to morrow O dulnesse and hardnesse of mans heart that only meditates upon things present and foresees nothing what shall be hereafter Thou oughtest so to behave thy selfe in every action as if thou wert this day to dye in the morning think thou mayst not live to the evening and in the evening dare not promise thy selfe the next ensuing morning be alwayes prepared and so live that death may never take thee unprovided How happie and wise is he that labours to be such whilst he lives as he wisheth to be found at his death O Jesu give me the perfect contempt of the world give me a fervent desire to profit in vertue give me the love of instruction the labour of repentance the readinesse of obedience O my God grant that I may desire thee in my heart to seeke thee in my desires to find thee in my search and love thee being found Give me my Lord and God repentance for my heart contrition to my spirit a flood of teares to my eyes and a liberall distribution of almes to my hands O my King extinguish in me the desire of the flesh and kindle in mee the fire of thy love O my Redeemer drive out of me the spirit of pride and favourably grant me the treasure of thy humilitie O my Saviour remove from mee the madnesse of anger and indulgently afford me the shield of patience O my Creator pluck out all rancour out of my mind and bestow on me the sweetnesse of a milde spirit give mee most mercifull Father a firme faith a congruous hope and continuall charitie my Governour doe thou divert all vanity from mee all inconstancie of mind wandring of the heart scurrility of the tongue pride of the eyes gluttony of the belly reproaching of my neighbours the sins of detraction the itch of curiosity the desire of riches the extortion of great men the desire of vain-glory the evill of hypocrisie the poyson of flattery the contempt of the poore the oppression of the weak the thirst of covetousnesse the rust of envie and the death of blasphemie O my Maker cut off from me rashnesse iniquity lewdnesse disquietnesse idlenesse drowsinesse sloth dulnesse of mind blindnesse of heart obstinacie of sense bloodinesse of conditions disobedience to goodnesse resistance of good counsell unbridlenesse of my tongue preying upon the poore wronging the weak slandering the innocent neglecting my inferiours cruelty in my family impiety towards my familiars and hardnesse of heart to my neighbours O God my mercy I beseech thee by thy beloved Son give mee the works of mercy the study of godlinesse to suffer with those in affliction to counsell those that erre to helpe the miserable to succor the needy to comfort the sad to releeve the oppressed to refresh the poore to cheare those that weepe to forgive our debtors to spare them that sin against me to love those that hate me to render good for evill to despise no man but to honour all to imitate the good to beware of the wicked to embrace vertue to reject vice to be patient in adversity to be moderate in prosperity to set a watch over my mouth and a doore before my lips give mee uprightnesse in my dealings and a true testimony of my faith to trample upon earthly things to thirst after heavenly things that thou mayst one day say to me Well done good and faithfull servant thou hast been faithfull in a little I will set thee over much enter into the joy of thy Master Amen CONTEMP c. 37. Of the exceeding number of Gods benefits and of mans contempt of them by the multitude of his sinnes WHo will give water to my head and a fountaine of tears to mine eyes and I will weepe both night and day Let my eyes drop tears and my eye-lids flow with waters I will convey my selfe into the place of weeping and of teares I will take paines in my groaning I will every night wash my bed and water my couch with my teares My teares shall be my meat day and night and I will not hide my mourning I will prostrate my selfe and let the reines loose to my teares and rivers shall gush from mine eyes I will weepe in the bitternesse of my soule I will continue in weeping and the teares shall trickle downe my cheeks wherewith I will deplore my most grievous sinnes and will detest my impious ingratitude wherewith I have repayed my God and Lord. O that I could weepe out my eyes with teares that my bowels might be disturbed and my liver might be powred forth upon the earth for my great enormities The causes are great and many O God why my eyes should streame forth wates yea blood it selfe But I will now contemplate of nothing but the greatnesse multitude of thy blessings that thou hast bestowed upon me when I was yet thine enemy That therefore my soule may be astonished my cheeks blush my eyes cast downe and that I may eternally hate my malicious and most polluted life I will begin to reckon up thy blessings and my cursed deeds that I may see what thou art and what I am what thou hast done for me and how I have requited thee Send
downe from heaven thy holy Spirit the teacher of truth and worke in my tough and hard heart inward and divine repentance that I may never repent me of And now thou love of that heavenly power thou holy communication of the omnipotent Father and the blessed issue thou Spirit the Omnipotent Comforter slide within the most secret places of my heart by thy powerfull operation and enlighten every darke lurking place of this my neglected habitation by the brightnesse of thy glorious light Come come now thou most courteous Comforter of the languishing soul that defendst it in its necessities art its helper in tribulation Come thou cleanser of my filthinesse thou curer of my wounds Come thou Strength of the weake thou Sustainer of those that slide Come thou Instructer of the humble and Confounder of the haughty Come thou holy Father of the orphans thou milde Judge of the widowes Come thou Hope of the poore thou Refresher of those that faint Come thou sea-mans Starre thou Haven against shipwracke Come thou singular Beauty of all that live thou only Safety of those that die Come most holy Spirit come and take pity upon me Fit me for thy selfe and mercifully condescend to my weaknesse that according to the multitude of thy mercies my meannesse may be acceptable to thy Majestie and my weaknesse to thy power There was a time my God when I had no being which I cannot remember and then thou madest me to have a being thou formedst me of the clay of the earth and madest me according to thine owne image and representation Thou broughtest me out of my mothers wombe thou wast my hope when I hung upon my mothers breasts from the wombe was I cast upon thy providence for from the very time that I first drew my vitall breath and entred this tabernacle of the world and my soule tooke possession of her earthly house thou art my Father thou art my Redeemer thou art my Saviour thou art my Helper Thou didst create my body and all the members thereof thou gavest me my soule and all the faculties thereof and hast most mercifully preserved my life even to this present houre Thou hast added another blessing farre more pretious than the rest that thou mightest tie me the nearer unto thee Thou descendedst O God from heaven to finde me out thou soughtest for me being lost of all hands By thy incarnation didst thou rid my weake and miserable flesh out of the ignominy and basenesse which by the devils seducing suggestions it was fallen into Thou sanctifiedst my sinfull nativity by thy most holy birth by thy bonds and captivity thou hast freed me from the bonds of my enthralling sinnes Whilst thou deliveredst thy selfe into the hands of sinners thou hast snatched me out of the power of sinne in the forme of sinfull flesh thou hast abolished my sinfull life which is the worke of Satan by this thy great mercy thou hast most straightly tied me unto thy selfe thou hast enticed me unto thee with those benefits thou hast confirmed and strengthned my hope with those great merits thou wouldest stirre up in me a hatred and detestation of my sins in that thou hast wrought and endured so many and so great things that thou mightest reconcile me to thy heavenly Father and overthrow the kingdome of sinne so thou hast kindled bright coales over my head that thou mightest thereby set my heart on fire that overwhelmed as it were with the works of thy mercy which are included in this thy worke of Redemption I might love him with all my heart who hath wholly loved me and imparted himselfe wholly unto mee Thou hast redeemed me O Lord my God but what good had it beene unto me except thou hadst permitted me to be baptized amongst so great a multitude therefore of Infidels thou wast pleased I should be borne of faithfull parents and hast blessed me so farre above all unbeleeving Ethnicks Turks and Jewes that I might be regenerated by the lavacre in thy word and according to thy Word and might put on my Christ with all his benefits There thou hast adopted me for thy sonne and made me thy heire there make I that wonderfull covenant with thee that I should be thine and that thou shouldest be mine that thou shouldest be my Lord and I should be thy servant that thou shouldest be my father and I should be thy sonne there is it so so covenanted betwixt us that thou shouldest manifest thy fatherly affection to me and that I should with a filiall obedience hearken unto thee What need I rehearse the other use of this Sacrament namely that thou hast made it the curing physicke of our sins that by thine own blood thou mightest heal my unhappy and festring wounds and mightest thereby more and more adde perfection unto me But though I have received so many blessings of thee and have in a readinesse so many antidotes against sinne yet have I not continued in obedience but have often broken that covenant and yet hast thou bin so mercifull and so milde a God that thou didst endure my disobedience O God my salvation and hope how can I recount thy mercy and clemency without shedding of teares for how often O just judge mightest thou kill and bring me to nothing and yet none of these things is befallen me how many thousands of soules are already thrust into hell to be punished with eternall plagues and fire that never came neare my sinnes either in number or weight and yet am not I burned what had become of me if thou hadst cut me off together with them How ought I to feare thy terrible and fearfull judgement if thou shouldest punish me in thy immutable and severe judgement according to the foulnesse of my iniquities O my God who tied thy hands who was my Intercessor when I most securely slept the sleep of sin who held the scourge of thy wrath when as day by day I provoked urged thy vengeance what was there in me to please thee what was there in me so worthy of thy acceptation that thou shouldest spare me when thou didst root out others who wallowing in the mud of their sinnes thou didst summon to thy most righteous judgement seat in the midst of their dayes My sins did cry to heaven and thou didst stop thine eares my wickednesses were daily multiplied and thy mercy was likewise encreased to me I did sinne and thou didst expect my repentance I fled from thee and thou didst draw neare to me I provoked thee so often to wrath that I might weary thee by my provocations yet wast not thou weary of taking pity upon me as if my transgressions against thee being abominable ingratitude in me were pleasing in thy sight Thou hast suggested unto me many good thoughts and given me many profitable admonitions to turne me from my transgressions even in my full speed of sinning How many times standing before the doore of my heart hast thou knocked and called saying
most perverse wretch am turned into a beast and become the devils instrument Thou didst descend from the most glorious throne of thy heavenly Father unto mee that devill upon earth and I have not elevated my selfe unto thee nor would I ascend with thee but by the works of the flesh I have beene faster tied to the more base things of the earth and have pressed my selfe downe into the mud by the weight of my sinnes wherein I have long lien wallowing Thou hast delivered me out of the power of the devill and I of mine owne accord have ensnared my selfe in his devillish toiles Thou art made one body with me and I by my voluntary sinnes have plucked my selfe off from thee and have glued my selfe to the body of the wicked So many thy wondrous works could not force me to acknowledge thee So many testimonies of thy love could not soften my stony heart to make me love thee againe thy so great merit could not raise me up to cause me to place all my hope in thee That thy most accurate Justice which shines most clearly out and that many wayes out of the worke of our Redemption could not hold me so that I might consider the plagues and punishments which thou heapedst upon thy onely beloved Son for my sake and cause me to cry out If they have done these things in the greene tree what shall be done in the dry Thy so many torments and paines could not perswade me to descend into my self and to consider with what hatred thou persuest our sinnes for which thou hast permitted thy very Sonne to be most cruelly afflicted For these things ought I to have stood in awe and to reverence thy great Name So hast thou my Jesus humbled thy selfe that he that considers it may admire and with trembling behold thee yet am I growne proud and at this very time alas doe exalt my selfe above my brethren Thou didst hang naked upon the Crosse yet I not content with such cloathing as was necessary to cover my nakednesse have sought after excesse and superfluity and have most tenderly handled my slimy damnable body Thou didst suffer intolerable thirst in thy extreame plagues and torments and didst taste gall mingled with vinegar but I must as it were be fatted to the slaughter with lushious wines I have beene overcharged with gluttony and ravenousnesse and have thereby made my selfe strong in fleshly desires Thou didst beare all things that thy Father laid upon thee nor didst throw off the the burden till thou mightest truely say it is finished but I have esteemed it very troublesome and tedious for me to suffer but a very little for thee Thou that art the blessed Son of God didst suffer blows on the face from wicked wretches but I if I be but touched with a finger or wronged in a word doe presently burne with wrath and am most bitterly moved to indignation that am but a worme and not worthy the name of a man and doe deserve by reason of my filthy sins not only most vile reproach but the punishment scorne of hell it selfe And what shall I farther say of my most wicked life Thou didst most willingly die that I might die to sin and live to righteousnesse but I too much relying on this thy mercy doe wittingly and willingly rush into sins What greater disgrace could I put upon thee I have made thy mercies the occasion of my uncleannesse and have used so precious a meanes of my Redemption which ought to make every one to hate sin to the strengthning and continuation of my sins I thought sins were lawfull for me because thou wast so gentle and mercifull and for giving mee so many blessings I have requited thee with my infamous deeds so that I converted the remedy ordained against sin into the meanes to make me sin more freely and have set the point of that sword against mine owne brest and well-nigh destroyed my selfe therewith that thou gavest me to resist the blowes of Satan Thou art he only O Lord that dyed for us all that they that live might not live to themselves but to him that did both die and rose againe for us but I contrary to this have lived to my selfe and mine owne lusts as if thou hadst dyed for that end that I should live to fill my soule with fleshly desires and abusing thy grace I should weave the web of mischiefe O Lord how great is thy patience that thou wouldest be buffetted for my sake but much greater is thy patience that thou enduredst so many sinners in the world that even buffet thee with their sins But shall this thy patience last for ever I call to mind what thou threatnest against the impenitent I see that the earth which is watered with raine and brings forth no fruit is punished by cursing I see that the Vineyard well manured and yet remaining unfruitfull is wasted and trodden under foot O hard and iron heart O unprofitable and drie wood Dost thou not tremble if thou hearest the voice of the Omnipotent God saying Every branch not bearing fruit will my Father take away if any remaine not in me hee shall be cast out as a branch and it withereth and men gather it up and cast it into the fire to bee burnt What man can be so carelesse that trembles not and shakes not for feare of so horrible a judgement How deafe and sluggish is he that heareth not this voice With what a stupidnesse is he drowned in in what a lethargie is he buried who is not awaked with this thunder Ah! Lord this earthly tabernacle hath hitherto delighted mee I have walked amidst thornes and thistles that have choaked the seed of thy Word sowen in me so that I have had no desire to know thy will my lusts have seduced me my desires have driven me up and downe my thoughts have disturbed mee the worme of my conscience gnawes me and all these have I esteemed as secure delights and reckoned troubles to be peace What shall I doe my God What shall I doe I am forced to confesse that I am not worthy to come before thee I blush for my unrighteousnesse sake to lift up mine eyes unto thee I dare not lift them up to seeke thy favour and most mercifull presence if thou wilt punish me as I deserve nor heaven nor earth can hide me from thee but thou wilt not O Lord my God that any one perish but that all may be converted and live thou createdst mee for thy praise but who in hell where thou art blasphemed shall praise thy Name Thou didst pay so great a ransome for me yet if thou reject me in these my most great necessities who shall receive me if thou shalt refuse thy creature redeemed by so great a price who shall helpe me Why even thou my Father that Father of mercy even that mercy which is immeasurable which is infinite And although by my disobedience I have lost the right of mine
is lost we even divide this very day we now enjoy betweene death and our selves Wretched man why disposest thou not of thy selfe every houre Think thou mayest now die because thou knowest thou must die call to mind that the time is comming upon the wings wherein thy eyes must sinke into thy head the veines of thy body shall be crackt in pieces and thy heart shall be cleft with sorrow remember thine owne frailtie remember the miserable estate of thy pilgrimage call to mind in the bitternesse of thy soule thy yeares past and the dangers of mans life Amidst the most uncertaine things of man yet is death most certaine yet what is found more uncertaine than the houre of death it takes no pitie upon want it reverenceth not riches and to conclude it spareth neither wisdome manners nor age this only is the difference that death standeth at the old mans doore and for the young man he lyes in ambush every one therefore ought well to feare this last day because every one in the day of Judgement shall be judged for such as he shall be found at his day of death Upon this only moment of our life depends eternity that hath no end What is more terrible than judgement and what can bee imagined more intolerable than hell What will a man feare if hee feare not these things if horrour seize not on him and if dread doe not cause him to tremble O man if thou have lost the shame which belongs to so noble a creature if thou bee not sensible of the sorrows of affliction which is also a property that belongs to mortall creatures yet lose not at least thy feare Feare therefore O man because in death thou must be parted from all the good things of this thy body and the sweet marriage knot of thy united soule and body must be cut in sunder by this most bitter divorce Feare because in that terrible Judgement thou must stand before him into whose hands it is a most fearfull thing to fall even before such an Examiner from whom nothing can be hid if iniquitie be found in thee thou must be banished the society of blisse and glory and bee severed from the number of the blessed Feare because in hell thou must be exposed to insufferable and everlasting torments and receive thy portion with the devill and his angels even in the everlasting fire prepared for them Dost thou not yet feare the face of the Judge which is even terrible to the angelicall Powers Dost not thou tremble at the wrath of that powerfull One at his angry countenance and his sharp words Art thou not affraid of the teeth of the infernall beast of the belly of hell of those yellings fore-runners of our devourings Are we not yet affraid of the gnawing worme scorching flames smoak and vapour brimstone and stormie tempests O! who shall give water to my head and a fountaine of teares unto mine eyes that by my weeping I may prevent that weeping and gnashing of teeth and those hard bands of hands and feet and that weight of oppressing fettering burning and yet not consuming chaines and that I may come to thee my Lord and my God Yet if any be so cursedly obdurate so fierce and steely that hee cannot be troubled with the feare of ill yet who can be so madde and senselesse that he will not be touched with the desire of good things There are laid up endlesse good things for them that make a godly end even things which the eye hath not seene nor the eare heard nor ever entred into the heart of man to conceive which God hath prepared for those that love him those things the preparer and worker whereof is God What things must they be thinkest thou The eye hath not seene them because they are not colour the eare hath not heard them for they are not a sound nor hath it entred into mans heart to conceive them because the heart of man must ascend unto them Why labour I then to make my tongue to utter that which my heart cannot conceive which is to be beleeved and not to be beheld nay it is not onely invisible but also unspeakable O Lord Jesus Christ when that most perilous moment approacheth wherein I shall enter into the way of immortality then give mee a quiet and pleasing repose that in the true acknowledgement and confession of thy grace I may yeeld up my spirit and my poore soule with peace and gladnesse and may deliver it into thy hands Neither let mee bee long tormented as I have a thousand times deserved and that I may enjoy peace on the earth in my body and may watch and be made coheire of the resurrection to life of all the beleevers that I may praise and glorifie thee with gladnesse and may give thee thanks for evermore for all the innumerable blessings which thou hast bestowed upon mee through the whole space of my pilgrimage Call me not to an account for my old scores and remember not the sins of my youth but be mercifull unto me according to thy great mercies and sustaine me in a firme faith and comfort even to my last gaspe that neither sinne death or the divell doe me any hurt nor that my own flesh make me impatient but that I may enter in unto thee that I may dwell with thee and may remaine with thee for evermore Amen CONTEMP c. 45. Of Eternity IS it this that divideth the entrailes parteth the bowels woundeth the heart tyes the tongue shutteth the lips distracteth the senses and overwhelmes all our members with feare Rivers slow from our eyes our cheekes are watered with teares and all this torrent hath its originall from this one word a terrible word by the force and threates whereof feare and anguish are bred in us a word that no day no voice shall determine no starre-light shall shadow no constellation shall darken a word that melts the marrow and softens breakes and even minces the heart and bones though harder than the Adamant or Marble This word is Eternity a word of longer continuance than the Heavens more terrible than thunder and lightning or any tempest whatsoever It is Eternity that hath neither pause measure nor end and drives on the minds of men as it were with goades and spurs and pricks so that they search not after mutable or transitory things This word hath moved many to pluck of their glittering crownes from their ayery heads and to despise the lofty bayes and made them let fall their towring plumes and putting on a courser habit to contemplate higher and more divine things This word doth wholely possesse me nor suffers me to enjoy any encrease of content it infuses into my most disquieted soule care feare and griefe O end most remote from any end ô time without time O yeare and no yeare O number not to bee summed up of any Descend descend my soule to hell not to mix thy selfe with flames but to avoid