through thy Grace I loath O blessed Lord and enter my solemn Protest against them Defiance and Detestation of them Good God I would not have an irreverent thought of thy sacred Being incomprehensible and most excellent Perfection and transcendent Glory which I would and do with my whole Heart Soul and all the Powers of my whole Man with all integrity acknowledge and subscribe to with mine own Hand to which O Lord I beg the Seal of thy Spirit as a Witness to my Soul that I am in Christ Jesus thy Child and Servant Elizabeth Walker Engaged I am O Lord by Covenant with thee in Baptism to fight thy Battels I beseech thee put on me that whole and compleat Armour that I may be able to resist my strong Enemies which war against my Soul and fight against thee Blessed Lord I desire to prostrate my self at thy Feet in the deepest sense of my own Unworthiness that thou shouldest look upon and help such a Miscreant and forlorn Sinner But for his sake that never sinned I beseech thee support me with thy compassionate Mercy to me a loathsome and defiled Sinner and give me not over to spiritual Judgments hardness of Heart blindness of Mind Impenitency an evil Heart of Unbelief departing from thee Give me not up into the Hands of them that hate me and would work my Ruine I beseech thee do not chuse my Delusions leaving me to a deceivable Heart to which I dare not trust without the Guards of thy Holy Spirit Leave me not O God to my own strength in which I cannot doe the least good and without thine shall fall into the greatest evils of Soul and Body and sink to the bottom of the bottomless Pit of Sin and eternal Misery from which O God I beseech thee let thy unfathomed Mercy in Christ Jesus speedily prevent me and give a mortal stab to all my Corruptions by what Course soever thou wilt take with me only let me fall into thy Compassionate Hands Good Lord bind up my Wounds and heal my Putrifying Soars I beseech thee forsake me not in the time of my older Age when Strength faileth and suffer not the defects of my Body to become the Sin of my Soul I beseech thee suffer no Tryal to be above my Strength but Blessed Lord thou that hast suffered being Tempted make a way for me that I may be able to bear it I beseech thee lay that Hand on me thou tookest hold on Peter with that I may not sink in the deep Waters in which there is no standing Good Lord suffer no Weapon formed against me to Prosper but bring me up out of my Astonishments and Confusions of Soul though the Enemy break in like a Flood let thy Holy Spirit in my Heart lift up a Standard against him Good Lord take a full Possession of my Soul and suffer no Rival with thee let me be guided governed and acted by thee Good Lord let no Sin have Dominion over me I beseech thee fill my Heart and Soul with the Graces of thy Blessed Spirit Deep Reverentialness of thee much Love Fervour and Zeal for thy Glory which I beseech thee cause to be ever very and exceeding dear and precious to me and suffer not the Envenomed Arrows of my Enemy to stick on me but I beseech thee quench all those Fiery Darts the Poison of them drinketh up my Spirits Good Lord apply to my Soul that healing Balsam made of the Blood of the Son of God and with an Indelible Character let thy Law be written on my Heart O Blessed God Father Saviour Sanctifier I beseech thee make this the transcript of my Soul in an Holy Life in Submission and Obedience to thee in all things with all possible Adoration Thanksgiving and Praise unto thee O Lord most due in Heaven and on Earth to which I say Amen Amen Amen She Read also all the good Books with intentest Diligence she could enquire out or be informed of on this Subject and wept Buckets of Tears to quench those Fiery Darts which though she had an Excellent Eye brought her many Years since to the use of Spectacles and caused her oft to use the Psalmist's Expression My Eye is Consumed because of Grief and waxeth Old because of my Enemy And would often Pray that her Bodily-Infirmities might not be her Souls Dis-advantages and say That though they were not her Sins they were the Effects of them Thus was her Life a continual Warfare in which she fought the good Fight of Faith and was more than Conqueror through him that loved her and helped her and I am comfortably upon good Grounds persuaded hath received a glorious Crown of Righteousness from him whose Appearance she so heartily Loved and so constantly and earnestly waited for Her Warfare is accomplished and she rests from these and all her Labours and as she overcame in his Strength who taught her Hands to War and Fingers to Fight and covered her Head in the Day of Battel so to him be all the Glory and Eternal Praises Amen Amen SECT XVIII Friends she used to Pray for I Subjoyn to the Precedent an Account of another Paper which as the last abovenamed I found in a distinct Sheet with this Title A Catalogue of Christian Friends whom I desire in a peculiar manner to present in my poor Prayers to God at the Throne of his Grace and that God would doe for them for Soul and Body above what I can ask Then follows this Prayer GRacious God thou hast commanded to Pray for all Men but especially for the Houshold of Faith Lord thou never saidst Seek my Face in vain but hast with great Condescention and Encouragement Invited thy People to make their Addresses to thee for themselves and others And hast joyned with the Command thy Promise to hear and grant agreeable to thy Will what is best for us Lord thou givest Liberally and dost not upbraid and wilt not send thy People away Empty seeing thou always hast it plentifully by thee I come unto thee in the Name and for the Sake and alone Righteousness Merits and Mediation of thy Son and my alone Saviour Jesus Christ in the behalf of my Self and Christian Friends Lord I beg of thee for thy Church and peculiar People and by name present before thee some known to me my Christian Friends them and their Joynt-Relations Good Lord shower down on them the Blessings of Prayer Gracious God I do beseech thee extend thy choicest Favours to my most near Relations my Dear Husband my Dear Grandson his Father and his Relations with my other near Relations Good Lord be very gracious to our Neighbouring Ministry Mr. Alchorne Mr. Hublon Mr. Loe Mr. Arrowsmith Doctor Fuller Mr. Siday with the rest Lord give them the Plentifull Encrease of their Labours the ingrafting many Souls into thy Kingdom And be very gracious to those who have known my Soul in Adversity and have been earnest Petitioners in my behalf at thy Throne of
Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
thy Soul and with all thy Strength the second is like the first Thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self On this brief Account Christ put so great a stress he said On these hang all the Law and the Prophets And St. James saith 28. If ye fulfill the Royal Law according to the Scriptures thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self which God requires not in Word only but in Deed also relieving their Necessities if any be naked or destitute of daily Food to feed and cloath them to say depart in Peace and give them not those things needfull to the Body it will not profit therefore with-hold not good from them to whom it is due if it be in the Power of thy Hand to doe it it is a more blessed thing to give than to receive He that gives to the Poor shall not lack but he that hideth his Eyes shall have many a Curse Do not say I have but little now to give but I will give hereafter remember the poor Woman's Mite was more in Christ's Esteem than those who had of their abundance cast into the Treasury Dear Johnny It may be something might be spared from unnecessary Expence buying Fruit or the like of which too much may be prejudicial to thy Health and may be laid out to a better account Do not give grudgingly by constraint lest it be as the Lame or Blind which was not to be brought to God like Cain's Sacrifice which he brought with an unwilling mind not acceptable to God Let the object stir up thy Compassion that thou mayst not give too sparingly God loves a chearfull giver Dear Johnny He that gives to the Poor lends to the Lord he that makes all Grace to abound will repay thee in temporal and spiritual Blessings good Measure shaken and pressed together and running over shall be given to thee God hath given many Promises to the Charitable to hint but a few The Lord will deliver him in time of Trouble and will not deliver him to the Will of his Enemies The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive and he shall be Blessed upon the Earth The Lord will strengthen him upon the Bed of Languishing he will make all his Bed in his Sickness Psal 41. For thy Encouragement read Isaiah 58. Yield Obedience to God's Command He hath said Deut. 7. If there be among you a poor Man thou shalt not harden thy Heart not shut thy Hand against thy poor Brother thou shalt shurely give unto him and thy Heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him but thou shalt open thy Hand wide unto thy poor and to thy needy for for this thing shall the Lord bless thee in all thou puttest thy Hand unto Dear Johnny Thou art also bound by an obligatory Promise to thy Grandfather and to me we have sometimes given thee Money for this Purpose to inure thee betimes to be Charitable that something of it thou mightest give unto the Poor as thou hast promised a Penny in every Shilling it is but a little do not withold that lest it become an accursed thing to thee like Achan's wedge of Gold at the Last Day the Day of Judgment This duty of Charity in right performance of it will be a distinguishing Character of those who shall stand at Christ's Right-hand from those who shall stand at his Left-hand whose Hands were as strait as their Hearts were hard they would have no Pity on the Poor therefore they shall find none But Christ will say unto them Depart ye Cursed into Everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels with that Infernal Company But those at Christ's right-hand which fed the hungry cloathed the naked visited the sick and imprisoned which Christ will take as done unto himself he will reward with the Kingdom of Heaven Dear Johnny Make thee friends of the Mammon of this World that when this Life fails thou mayst be received into everlasting Habitations Dear Johnny As God may bless thee with the things of this World let not thy little at present be the measure of greater plenty He that sows sparingly shall reap spearingly but he that sows bountifully shall reap bountifully not only in this Life but in that to come There are degrees of Glory in Heaven the better here the happier hereafter though not of merit but of Grace God will pass by the Imperfections of his People which cleave to their best performance Dear Johnny With other religious Duties continue thy custom of private Prayer at least twice a day Morning and Evening besides publick and family Prayer Ejaculatory Prayer is also of great Benefit it is short but holy Desires lifting up thy heart to God Let them be thy last thoughts before sleep that God may give thee as his Beloved sleep the like as soon as thou wakest in the Morning before more solemn Prayer and with both render him Praise for the Mercy thou liest down in peace and risest in safety always under God's Protection These holy Desires may be oft sent to Heaven and bring thee Blessings the World cannot give and will defend thee from the Sin and Vanity of it keeping thy heart in a good frame they may be as the Angels ascending and descending upon Jacob's Ladder where God is above it ready to receive thee that thy return to secular Employment may be sanctified and blest that God may by thy holy wrestlings with him as he did Jacob bless thee in thy way to Canaan and New Jerusalem above And in thy more lengthened Prayer with thy own necessities and receipts from God remember the Church and People of God as need requires with Prayers and Praises Go to God with filial Fear and holy Reverence of Body and Mind God is in Heaven by his Greatness Superiority and Majesty thou on Earth in Weakness and Indigency Bring thy wants to his all-sufficient Fullness and immense Goodness ready able willing to supply all thy Necessities beg thee pardon of thy Sins and what thou needest for the sake merits and ever-prevaling Intercession of Jesus Christ Ask that thou mayst receive his holy Spirit as the Seal of his Love to thee With the imputed Righteousness of Christ reconciling thee to God Beg that thou mayst also have an inherent Righteousness from him renewing thee in the Spirit of thy Mind into his Image that thou mayst become one with him his Law being writ on thy Heart that he may guide thee by his Counsel in this troublesome World that no temptation may be above thy strength These things ask with thy daily Bread which implies the supply of all the necessities of humane Nature and be not desirous of more than God sees good for thee and for all the Receipts for Soul and Body be thankfull forget not to render Praises to God for what he bestows on thy self and others Forget not Zion pray for the peace of Jerusalem they shall prosper that love her Pray for the Conversion of Enemies that the
hear Books and Ballads cried of me about the streets though I had not acquainted any with my trouble but only Mr. Watson My Father's Sister my dear Aunt Quiney a gratious good Woman taking notice of my dejected Spirit she way-laid me in my coming home from the Morning Exercise then in our Parish She surprized me with an inquisitive desire to know what I ailed but I not readily informing her she ask'd me if I were not troubled with Temptations I marvelled at the Question and then acquainted her with my Affliction She from her own experience in the like case advised me which for the present was a refreshment to me for before I was not acquainted with any in the like condition with my self Some little time after my dear Father taking notice of me that I was not well but not fully understanding what I ailed sent for a Physician to me Dr. Bathurst who I hope was a good Man but I was much troubled at his coming though I knew my Father sent for him in his great care and love to me The Physician came to me one Morning before I was out of Bed he perceived my Distemper to be most Dejectedness and Melancholly With other talk he discoursed very piously with me I took the freedom to tell him I thought I did not need a Physician and with the expression of my respects desired him to forbear coming to me which the good Man did not take ill but with good counsel left me It pleased the Lord sometimes to refresh me with those Words of the Psalmist Why art thou cast down O my Soul and why art thou disquieted within me Hope thou in God for thou shalt yet praise him who is thy help and health of thy countenance and thy God How sweet is this propriety my God! Lord where thou givest thy Self thou givest All and thou who hast shewed me great and sore troubles wilt revive me again Thou hast brought up my Soul from the brink of Hell Thou wilt keep me alive that I shall not go down to the pit of Destruction I desired to go from home into the Country to some private good Family where I had no acquaintance which when my Father knew he readily granted my request My good Aunt understanding my mind she acquainted Mrs. Watson our Minister's Wife a good Woman with my desire by which means I went to her Father Mr. John Beadle an honest worthy good Man He was Minister of Banston in Essex My dear Father hired a Coaeh and went with me to Mr. Beadle's and with the expression of his tender love said to me That I should not want any thing to doe me good to the one half of his Estate And he was very bountifull in the requital of my receipts in that Family God's goodness to be acknowledged my dear Mother then was very kind to me I lived at Mr. Beadle's half a Year where I had the fatherly Care and Counsel and Prayers of that good Man with the great love of his Wife a very good Woman and very kind to me and the manifestations of the respects and care of their Children and Servants in any thing that might tend to my satisfaction and comfort The Lord requite it to them in spiritual Blessings with the Mercies of this Life In my continuance at Mr. Beadle 's the Lord afforded me with other opportunities and helps much time in reading and secret Prayer which through Grace I strove to improve for spiritual advantage and humbly hope for the sake and merits of Christ remains upon the file of God's Mercy for fuller returns of Grace For half a Year I do not know that I slept if I did it was very little and yet I did not want either sleep or health Blessed be God for his sustaining and supporting Arm. If I desired any thing that was gratefull to my Appetite when it was brought me I durst not make use of it because I thought it to be the satisfaction of a base sensual Appetite I did eat very sparingly which with my much weeping occasioned me some little inconvenience which became habitual When I had been at Banston about four months by God's providence for me Mr. Beadle exchanged one Lord's-Day with Mr. Walker then Chaplain to my Lord of Warwick at Leez the first time I saw my dear Husband When I had been at Banston half a Year my Father writ to me as to my coming home to which I was inclinable though my Father gave me my liberty It was in my thoughts that I was without natural affection Mr. Watson and his Wife being at Mr. Beadle's and returning to London I came home in company with them enjoying more calm of Spirit than when I went from home I bless God My Troubles wearing off more gradually which to my satisfaction I desired if God had seen it good for me might have been more signal in the discovery and manifestation of his favour in my Victory and Conquest of my temptation It is not for me to prescribe or limit the Holy One of Israel If I may take leave to beg and wait on him in whom are all my fresh springs for supply of Grace and Comfort if the Lord will give to me his unworthy Creature in pence and half pence what in bigger summs he sees fit to bestow on others that my dependence may be continually on him I desire to be thankfull Lord if thou wilt not subdue my Enemies at once yet make them tributaries to thy Glory and my spiritual advantage that these Amorites may be hewers of Wood and drawers of Water usefull to me that I may see my own deficiency and thy strength in my weakness For if thy presence goe not with me I shall soon desert thy cause and though I may be assaulted let me not be overcome but seeing the quarrel is thy own Lord undertake for me in this my military life here where there is no cessation of Arms that I may war a good warfare that those my Enemies which now affright me I may see no more for ever So grant Lord Jesus Amen Amen This minds me of that apposite passage in Dan. x. 10 11. and very applicable to her Case vers 9. Daniel was asleep upon his face with his face toward the ground then vers 10 And behold an hand touched me which set me upon my knees and the palms of my hands and then vers 11. he saith to him Stand upright On which place I meet with this Note The Lord doth not at once restore his Servants from their frailties that they by gradual comforts may prize every drop of Mercy beings not quickned all at once when they are mortified but may be admonished by the remainders of fears and frailties to keep their hearts humble and in continual dependence upon God I shall have occasion more than once to touch this dolefull string again 'T is recorded of our Lord that when he was Baptized He was driven of the Spirit into the
that Nature indicated thereby what must relieve and rising up in my Bed I stretched out my left Arm and humbly committing my self and the Success to God said I would Bleed again The Physicians then consented and proceeded to the Operation and opening a Vein in my Left Arm the Blood sprang out so abundantly that they drew at least ten Ounces After the closing the Orifice being laid down again My Dearest Dear who had been all my Sickness my tenderest Nurse my wakefull Watcher and all yea more than could be wished or expected or possibly performed without a spring of so strong and endearing Affection to give and guide the Motion became my Chaplain if I may have leave to use such an Expression and before the Symptoms she hath mentioned arrived at their height kneeled down by my Bed-side and wrestled with God in Prayer with such spiritual Fervency and expressed herself so appositely so pertinently so suitably and with such holy Ardour poured out her Soul to God as I never knew exceeded if equalled by the ablest Christian or Minister in all my Life Surely if ever the promise of pouring out a Spirit of Grace and Supplication was signally made good it was then made good to her and the effects of it to me for as she was a true Daughter of Abraham an Israelitess indeed she rose from her Knees a Female Israel she prevailed with God I fell into so great a Sweat as was scarce ever known and though the Night was full of the Symptoms she names which so afflicted and affrighted her yet she retained her Presence of Mind to assist me with holiest Words and kindest Deeds In the Morning Symptoms abated and when Dr. Needham came and had felt my Pulse He told me he came directly from Dr. Willis who dyed that day at Eleven a Clock of my Disease but added with a Smile he would not have told me so but that my danger was past and said That under God my last night's Bleeding and Sweating saved my Life without which humanely speaking I could not have escaped blessed be God who put that Resolution into my Mind and heard her earnest Prayers Now to return to her Pious gratefull Words I desire to bless God for every Circumstance of his Mercy in my Dear Husband's Sickness The helps and love of Friends the use of Physick with other means the constant and frequent Visits of Neighbour-Ministers their Prayers for us and of many other Friends and good People in our behalf to which I ascribe a great share of indulgent Mercy in sparing to me a little longer my Dear Husband God did not cast out the Prayer of the Afflicted but in my Distress when I cryed unto him he graciously inclined his Ear unto me and helped me Good Lord enable me with my yet continued Mercy mutually to acknowledge thy Kindness and by an exemplary holy Life to declare thy great Goodness to us Building up each other in our most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life And this Mercy wherewith thou yet intrusts me Lord help me more to improve to my Spiritual Advantage and continue him to length of Days with the abundant Gifts and Graces of thy Holy Spirit a choice and signal Instrument of thy Glory I bless thee for thy supporting Mercy in my Relative Duty in my many sorrowfull Nights and Watchings that when my Sleep departed from me I still might make my Addresses to thee who never slumberest nor sleepest for thou always seest the afflictions of thy People and knowest their Sorrows and wilt not despise them that seek thee thou hast restored Comfort to me and to my Mourners praised be thy Mercy 'T is hard to pass-by her tenderness to me of so recent Date as my last Year's Visitation which held me so many Months and brought me so low and at length settled in my Right-hand with such swelling and lameness as took away its use and under God I owe the recovery of it to her Skill and Pains and Kindness by her frequent bathing fomenting and annointing of it and preparing other both inward and outward Medicines so far to use my Pen to pay this small tribute to her happy Memory SECT X. Of her Lyings-Inn in Child-bearing GOD was pleased to give her strength to go out her full time of eleven Children six Sons and five Daughters besides some abortive or untimely Births And if ever Children were Baptized in their Mothers Belly excuse the Expression doubtless hers were so I mean solemnly Consecrated to God with fervent frequent Prayers and wash'd in a Jordan of her Tears who bore them as truly in her Heart as Womb. I find all their Births recorded with most savory and devout Reflections tho' some with more Enlargement as attended with more signal Circumstances I might transcribe them all that the sweet Spirit of Praise which breaths so fragrantly in every of them might kindle and excite the like Temper in others no Incense being more gratefull to the Nostrils of that God who saith He that offereth Praise glorifieth me but I must contract The twelfth of July 1651 God mercifully Deliver'd me of my first Child In 1652 I being big with-Child had an high Fever and was after a great and very hot fit delivered of a Daughter Aug. 29. Being Lord's Day between four and five in the Morning my Fever turned to an Ague and held me ten Weeks and brought me very low yet God in his Mercy graciously spared me and restored my Health I bless him for it Feb. 5. 54. God delivered me of a third Child our first Son God gave me a fourth Deliverance of a Daughter still-born Dec. 23. 55. I went my full time and might have been ever big Blessed be God that spared his unworthy Creature God gave me a gracious Deliverance of a fifth a Son May 15. 57. God gave me a Mercifull Deliverance of a sixth Child a Daughter June 8. 58. After a long and hard Labour continued three days and three nights in great Extremity all about me despairing of Life God mercifully Delivered me of a seventh Child a Son October 22. 59. which Mercy much affected my Dear Husband and for which my Deliverance I most humbly Bless God I confess I never knew to what degree I loved her till that time and never experienced such Raptures of Joy and Thankfullness for any worldly Matter as on that occasion the Impression of which was so deep that the remembrance of it hath a pleasing relish even to this Day God gave me a gracious Deliverance of an eighth Child a Son still-born after an hard Labour December the 11. 1660. In this Lying-in I fell into Melancholy which much disturbed me with Vapours and was very ill It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy very impetuously to assault me c. But more of this when I touch the return of her Temptation God gave me Deliverance of a ninth Child a Son October 9. 1662. God graciously gave me a
sometimes two by the Glass She would be attentive at the reading the Scriptures in the Family and ask her Sister the meaning of some Passages she understood not She would constantly goe alone to Prayer She told one of the Maids the Devil tempted her to Play at Prayers but she had pray'd against him and that he did not trouble her so much since She desired one of her Sisters to grant her a Request and said that she must not deny her Which was Not to refuse any good Counsel when ever it was given her but to accept of it from whom soever it came Another time being with her Sisters as they sate at Work she told them all those things would be dirt in Heaven And it most concerned them to get their Sins Pardoned and an Interest in Jesus Christ Discoursing of the Vanity of this World and Happiness of being Good and fit for Heaven As she had opportunity she would frequently be giving good Counsel with much Sweetness and Gravity If she were ill she would strive to hide it for fear of Grief to her Father and my self saying when we ask'd her how she did Pretty well I thank God Four Days before she died when the Maid went to help her up in the Morning she told her she was very Sick but God would doe her good by that Sickness and she should love him the better for it In this last and short sickness she had very serious apprehensions of Death Said she should die but was not afraid of Death And desired she might die quietly and without disturbance The Physician desiring to give her a little Wine ask'd her if she loved Sack she answered No. He desired her to take a little She said she would if he pleased but she did not love it to fuddle with A few hours before she died she desired to go to Bed out of which she had been taken by reason of the Flegm that troubled her and I being unwilling she said she would now go to Bed for adieu and for all Where she fell a sleep in Jesus enfolded in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies She resigned up her Soul with these and the like Expressions Lord let me come to thee my Lord and my God And Lord Jesus receive my Spirit I acknowledge the Words were given her but she readily received them and oft repeated though she could not speak but with difficulty she had been so affable and winning to all Rich and Poor that many shed more Tears for her than at the departure of their own Children she was much desired in Life and of all who knew her much lamented at Death How partial soever this Relation may seem to any and as from bribed Affection yet I assert the Truth to God's Goodness who hath ordained Praises in the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings and hath I humbly hope now perfected the same in the Consummation of her Eternal Bliss in the Fruition of himself to his Everlasting Praises I have hitherto in this Account left out many remarkable Passages for Brevity let me obtain liberty to transcribe the rest of the Paragraph verbatim word for word as her Pen left it Lord I bless thee that of Eleven for whom I Praise thee thou hast yet spared me two I beseech thee if it may consist with thy good Pleasure continue them in this World keeping them from the Evil of it to a good Old-Age choice Instruments of thy Glory God Lord Sanctifie them with thy Grace and Holy-Spirit and with an Indelible Character and Inscription stamp thy own Image on them that they may be thine by Grace and Adoption Lord be thou their God and Portion I beseech thee put them not off with any thing less than thy self Good Lord I beg that thou wilt take a through and full Possession of their Souls and give them to retrieve my Errors by a more early knowing serving and loving of thee and punish none of mine Iniquities with their Sins but keep them blameless to thy Everlasting Kingdom and bind up their Souls in the bundle of Eternal Life Amen Amen January 23. 1669. Was a day of Mercy to me in the midst of my Affliction being Lord's Day my sweet Mary lying then Dead with us in the House the extremity of my Affection forced me into the Chamber where she then lay a cold piece of Clay I there poured out my Soul to God in Prayer and from thence returned into to the Chamber of my signal Mercies I have received from God who comforteth those who are cast down Though he denied my vehement Desires and wrestlings with him in the time of her Sickness for her longer continuance with me in this World the Lord abundantly made up and compensated my Loss I took my Bible and my Intention was to Read in the New-Testament to allay my own Grief with the dolorous Sufferings of my Saviour but my Bible suddenly fell open in my Lap and my Eye presently fixed upon Habbak 1.12 which was powerfully set home upon my Heart with great Comfort and Refreshment with full Measure running over streams of Mercy and Loving Kindness yeaâ— of tenderest Mercies flowing into my Soul an Eternal God in exchange of a transient Comfort The Lord tendered me himself who is from Everlasting with this Propriety the Lord my God opposing his all-sufficient Righteousness against all my Unrighteousness My Holy One I should not Dye but Live Lord how hast thou silenced my inordinate Passions and Affections in superabundantly out-bidding all Creature-Comforts and Relations I beseech thee enable me so to live here that I may ever live with thee where I shall sin no more and Grief Sorrow and Sighing shall flee away The same Lord's Day in the Afternoon my Daughter Elizabeth whom God gave me June 8. 1658. to our great Satisfaction and Comfort suddenly broke out into a Flood of Tears and most Pathetical Vehement Desires after God and his Grace with Confession and bewailing of her Sins with such sensible and suitable Expressions as shewed it came from her very Soul which drew plenty of Tears of Love and Admiration from us all O my God how shall I love thee how shall I Praise thee for this Grace which I trust was the Work of thy Blessed Spirit Good Lord confirm and establish the Thoughts of her Heart before thee for Ever This day was a Tragi-Comedy if I may so speak Bitterness turn'd into surprizing Sweetness Weeping had continued for a Night but Joy came in before the succeeding Morning even Joy unspeakable and full of Glory I never remembred my Dear under such transports of Spiritual Peace and Satisfaction as from the Consolations of God from the Manifestations of his Love which flowed into her Soul from that Scripture above-named and I may truly say the Impressions of it never wore wholly off but even at many Years distance the naming of those Words would renew the Spiritual Relish she tasted in them and the briny Tears for the natural
kept this Trouble to her half a Year only her Sister knew it and oft see her sit and Weep most bitterly but I humbly hope God gave her strength against the Temptation and quieted her Mind After she revealed this Affliction and better understood the nature of these Troubles which as God enabled me I informed her and strove to Comfort her In the time of this last Sickness she oft asked me to Pray with her which when I performed I was too absolute with God for her Life all the time of her Sickness without express Submission to his Will The Lord pardon the Extremity of my Affection In this Sickness she was very tender-hearted expressed herself very Understandingly and Piously in Prayer with other sweet and gracious Requests to God she begged of the Lord that the Infection of her Disease might spread no farther in the Family which Desires of hers the Lord heard and granted For which Preservation I do desire to be thankfull to the God of our Mercies which in the midst of his just Judgments for my Sins in this heavy stroak shewed us much Compassion in preventing our farther Calamity in that Disease The dear sweet Child oft said She should die yet saying If the Lord pleased to spare her she would labour with watchfulness to serve him better and to amend all she had found amiss desiring me to be her faithfull remembrancer She was troubled that sometimes she had lain in bed too long in the morning especially for being straitened for time on the Sabbath Day which caused her to slubber over those Duties which should have been better performed bewail'd her unprofitableness and promised if she recovered this sickness better to observe the Lord's Day To the Physician that attended her in her sickness she said That he had many opportunities in going to sick and death Beds to mind him of Mortality and though none should be excusable before God yet they should be most inexcusable that had such frequent warnings Said That in health was the fittest time to prepare for death for in sickness she could do little more than consult her ease Dear Child she one Morning desired to see her Father and that she might see his Face saying She had now taken her leave of her dear Father's Face But the Lord spared her a little longer and she did see him again and now I humbly hope she sees the face of her Father in Heaven Dear Child she desired her Father and my self to forgive her in what she had at any time offended us saying If the Lord saw it good to spare her she hoped she should double her Diligence in her Care that she should never grieve us in any thing But this testimony I bless God I can give of her Few Children exceeded her in dutiful loving Obedience to her Parents She express'd her self very affectionately and honourably of her Sister and that she was sorry she had sometimes diverted her by staying in her Closet when she would have been better employed Sweet Child she was very tender spirited and was troubled for several little things which were very small or no Offence and if she had done any thing amiss would ask forgiveness She would sometimes say to me my dear Mother you cannot conceive what passes through my poor head nor what your poor Child endures And then she would bless God that what she suffered was not Hell where the Damned had not a drop of water to cool their Tongue And said What is that I feel compared to the sufferings of my Saviour who under-went such torments to save Sinners Dear Lamb she desired that what Money she had might be given in the Parish to some poor people whom she named and that her dear Father would extend his Charity out of what he would have bestowed at her Burial Which was performed In the whole time of her sickness I was not from her but one night not being well the last night but one before she departed this Life neither was I from her at any time but when the pressing necessities of my frail Nature urged it for a little rest and she was very glad when she saw me again and would express her loving Affections and Thankfulness to me for my Care of her I had many sweet endearing expressions from her of her Love and Duty She said If the Lord spare me I hope I shall do thus as I have promised But if I die my dear Mother you will remember what I now said to you and I could be content to be a little Child again that I might lie at your Breast and Bosom I have transcribed this long account hoping it may be usefull to some young Gentlewomen Daughters of my dear Wife's Christian Friends or others into whose hands their kindness or God's Providence may put it Now follows her exemplary Submission and Improvement She was exceeding desirable to us for the loveliness of her Person sweetness of her Disposition readiness of her Obedience quickness of her Parts serious Inclination to the ways of God and many sweet and winning Qualities which rendered her exceeding amiable and very pleasant to all that knew her But it was the Lord the sovereign Lord of us and her and all the world whose she was much more than ours God doth all things well wisely righteously gratiously and most faithfully The Lord was pleased to stir up great sympathy and tender Compassion in his People with many Prayers for her in her sickness and for us since and though it pleased God to deny them for her longer continuance in this World yet blessed be God we have great cause to hope in his Mercies that those Prayers are not lost but for the Sake Merits and Mediation of her Redeemer and Saviour Jesus Christ are granted to an higher end in eternal Bliss Good Lord sanctifie all our Afflictions to us that we may bear them with meekness and submission that they may not only be the Effects of thy Displeasure but of thy adopting Love Good Lord sanctifie this heavy Affliction to us and shew me in particular why thou contendest with me Therefore besides thy Holy Righteous and Wise Providence and Immutable Decree which had determined her time and the measure of her Days which I desire humbly and with all Submission to Adore and Acquisce in Good Lord give me to know and lay to heart the forfeiting Cause on my part which mov'd thee to smite with so severe a stroke in bereaving us of so desirable a Child and so great a peace of the comfort of my Life in this World Lord pardon my Ingratitude for Mercies injoyed that I have not so improved them to thy glory by a more carefull circumspect exemplary holy Life I beseech thee forgive my slackness in seasonable reproofs admonitions advice and counsels to my Children or others Although thou seest good to cut short my opportunities yet help me better to improve what thou wilt still intrust me with and forgive me
enquired he of them the Hour when he began to amend And they said unto him Yesterday at the seventh Hour the Fever left him so the Father knew it was the same Hour in which Jesus said unto him Thy Son Liveth and himself Believed and his whole House She intimates that and when she powred out her Requests to God in my behalf and that her Heart was much quieted and she went to her Rest and God gave her the Repose of the Night and I know it was the same Hour in which I was delivered from those violent Men and I do believe God heard her Prayer and Bless him for it And O that others would believe him to be a God hearing Prayer and would be encouraged to call earnestly upon him There follow after this more than twenty eminent Dangers by afflictive trying Providences and very signal Deliverances from them I 'll touch but one of all these before I reach one at about thirty Years distance from what I last mentioned though all attended with Devout Reflections July 4. 1676. My Dear Husband was under some Indisposition of Health he was Feverish I feared he would have had a Fit of Sickness which had very sorrowful oppressive Impressions on me My Dear Husband then made his Will that is a new one for I had made one many Years before and read it to me exprest his much Endearing Affections to me in his great Love and Care of me with so great a part of his Estate he gave to me for my Plentifull Susistence after his Decease This Kindness I desire to acknowledge with Thankfulness to God and my Dear Husband Lord I Bless thee for thy sparing Mercy in the reparation of my Dear Husband's Health which I beseech thee continue to length of Days in this Life and when this shall be no more Lord crown with thy exceeding Weight of Eternal Glory Amen Amen Since which making another Will I gave her my whole Estate Personal and Real what designed for Charity and a few Legacies excepted with power to sell any or all my Lands lest any un-foreseen Emergency should need extraordinary Supplies but she earnestly intreated me to alter that Power of Selling being abundantly satisfied to confine herself to the Personal Estate and Revenue of the Land which I gave her liberty to raise Money upon to be repayed in some Years after her Death to make as sure as I could she should never want any thing which I was able to supply her with which I mention to encourage Wives to deserve as well and Husbands to compensate so well-deserving Wives What should have been immediately subjoyned to my Escape from violent Men in 1660 because of the too great similitude between them is my deliverance in 1685. I will not say from more unrighteous yet I must say from those which are more inexcusable for God himself seems to extenuate the Fault of them who in Necessity take from others to satisfie their own Hunger and pressing Wants but I never read that either God or any Man except those like them excused those who sin of Malicious Wickedness and gain nothing besides the filling up the Measure of their Iniquities but the satisfaction of their own spightful Malice in troubling and afflicting others I will not transcribe what her Pen so largely so truly so piously sets down on this occasion only the number of the Days which I confess she calls the short Triumph of the being exactly Ten puts me in mind of Rev. 2.10 and if this fall into the Hands of any who made themselves Accessories and guilty post factum by a snearing Pleasure they took in the wicked Oppression of the Innocent I pray God give them Repentance And I think it is no harder to forgive them than it was for Tertullian to glory in the Christians behalf that Nero was their first Persecutor whom he speaking in their Name calls Damnationis nostrae Dedicatorem It must needs be good which Nero persecutes And we have a surer word St. John 15.18 19. A great many more afflictive Dispensations the Divine Wisdom and Faithfulness saw good to exercise us with to enforce us often to the Throne of Grace to obtain Mercy to help in time of need and many most signal and surprizing Deliverances from them did his Goodness and Loving-kindness seasonably vouchsafe us from them and most gracious Supports did his tender Compassions afford us under them frequently bringing Meat out of the Eater good out of evil filling thereby our Hearts with his Love and our Mouths with Songs of Praise and Thanksgivings to him the Rock of our Salvation and our Refuge in times of Trouble and repeated Experiences of his readiness to pity and to succour us raising up those hopes which make not ashamed All which she records with so savoury a sense of God's Mercy and such lively Expressions of most humble and holy Hallelujahs as might inspire most serious Sentiments into the Reader but I shall slide over them in silence because as I hope many do not need those Sparks to kindle their gratitude into Flames so many are of so prejudiced a frame of Spirit that to use so base a word as fitted to so base a temper of Mind they would rather put them out than suffer them to kindle into a blaze of Devotion on so damp an Hearth as are the Hearts steep'd in impure noisome Lusts not only destitute of all Sense of the Power of Godliness but implacable Enemies to it in all who own and love it SECT XX. Of our going to Tunbridge-Wells THough it be known to many that we most frequently went to Tunbridge-Wells from 1661 and after some Intermissions almost every Year till 1689. yet more may wonder why I write a Section of it here to which this short Account might serve for answer I doe it because I find so much concerning it under her Pen who is the Subject and occasion of the whole But that 's not all it is to shew how she behaved her self there as well as with what Christian Frame of Spirit she attended God's Providence in expectation of a Blessing from him who made the Fountains of Waters and gave to them their usefull Properties and rendred them very beneficial to her Many 't is true go thither solely or chiefly to drink these Waters for their Health but it is as true many go thither for Pleasure and Diversion only as many for a mixed reason including both and to this last Rank belongs her going thither But lest any should be surprized by this I must Interpret my self She went thither to drink the Waters which oft proved very advantageous to her and that End was common to her with many others and she went for Divertisement and Pleasure as many more and this also was common to her with Hundreds in Sound but not in Sense or Meaning and it may be was peculiar to her and it is possible few if any ever went so many years to Tunbridge-Wells
unwritten Paper which remains may seem to imply she designed more This is just the fortyeth part of what she had written for her Childrens use being 6 Pages in her Book of Twelve score so that I have enough if I would enlarge to tire my self and satisfie not to say clog my Readers But I will consult my own ease and theirs in adding little more of what an account is given Sect. 12. under Eleven or Twelve distinct Heads I confess I am tempted to add the Example to the Rule I mean the large Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving each containing 16 Pages But I 'll forbear only as I toucht a few Lines of the beginning and end of the Thanksgiving before So I shall give a little taste of this Prayer which she begins thus Good Lord give me to know thee who passest all Knowledge and though I cannot comprehend thee in the perfection and fullness of thy Glory yet vouchsafe to give me to apprehend thee in thy Love and pardoning Mercy to me a poor miserable Sinner who in my first Being was invested with an happy and righteous Estate from which O Lord in my first Original I soon declined c. And so proceeds most humbly to acknowledge the guilt and pollution of Original Sin as I think yea know most Orthodoxly If our Bibles our Articles our Homilies yea our Liturgy be more Orthodox than Socinus and those Ephramites who lisp his Sibboleth because they cannot or will not pronounce aright the Shibboleth of the Church of England's good old Doctrine Then she proceeds to a large Confession of actual Sin both of Omission and Commission against both Tables Acknowledging the demerit of them proceeds to sue out the Pardon of them in these words O God thou knowest my foolishness and my Sins are not hid from thee I beseech thee pardon my Iniquities and blot out my Transgressions though they be as a thick Cloud Good Lord wash me from my Impurities in that Fountain set open for Sin and for Vncleanness the precious Blood of Jesus Christ which is not only able to expiate my guilt but to cleanse me from all my filthiness that through his stripes I may be healed and cleansed from all my Original and Actual Defilements c. Having enlarged upon this she proceeds to pay for Sanctification and Inherent Righteousness that she may be a new Creature in Christ Jesus then most fully and earnestly against Temptation then for the Assistance of the Spirit to render all God's Ordinances and the means of Grace effectual then for growth in Grace for Comfort for an Heavenly frame of Heart and Life for assurance and manifestation of God's Love to her then for Wisdom to consider her latter End and to be helped in that Spiritual Arithmetick so to number her Days as to apply her Heart to true Wisdom then that God would fit and prepare her for her Dissolution that when her days shall be consummated on Earth her Corruptible may put on Incorruption and her Mortal put on Immortality Then she concludes with these Words Then shall Death my last Enemy be vanquished and swallowed up in Victory and from thy unworthy Creature Everlasting Praises shall be rendred unto thee through Jesus Christ that giveth me the Victory for thou hast redeemed my Soul from the Power of the Grave I beseech thee receive me into thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory that neither Death nor Life things present nor things to come may be able to separate me from thy Love O God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. Then she proceeds to Pray for the Church of which a taste was given in her Monday-morning Prayers Sect. 7. pag. 45. Gracious Lord the Mercies I ask of thee for my own Soul I earnestly beg of thee for thy Church and People Blessed Lord Thou hast made the Earth by thy Power established the World by thy Wisdom and stretched out the Heavens by thy Discretion thy Arm is not shortned that thou canst not Save Good Lord take care of Zion build up the Walls of Jerusalem that in Zion there may be Deliverance and Holiness in thy House let the Mountain of thy House be established in the top of the Mountains be thou a Wall of Fire round about and her Glory in the midst thereof But I forgot my self 't is hard to stop my Pen. Then I beseech thee especially for the Land of my Nativity the Nation of which I am a sinfull Member here is a large Paragraph The next is for the World Give thy Gospel a free and glorious Passage through the World Good Lord pity those that sit in the region and shaddow of Death Then I beseech thee be mercifull to all the Sons and Daughters of Sorrow and Affliction the Disconsolate the Sick those who contend with Poverty Imprisonment Reproach Disgrace Then for them who suffer Persecution for the Truth Then for her Relations I confess I am almost ashamed that I have thus mangled so excellent a Prayer so Piously so Judiciously in such suitable Scripture Phrase and Language I think it had been better to have transcribed the whole or let it quite alone but her Friends may command a Copy of it if they please Having finished her Intercessions for others she returns to conclude with renewed Petitions for herself which I will venture to set down Good Lord be the God and Portion of me thy unworthy Creature and of those so dear unto me give me a Relation to thee an Affiance in thee and a Dependance upon thee that in all my concerns I may come to thee in whom are all my fresh Springs the riches of free Grace to poor Sinners and treasuries of Mercies purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ I beseech thee with-hold not thy tender Mercies from me but give me of that hidden Manna the sweet refreshing Incomes of thy Holy Spirit into my Soul and when my Heart is overwhelmed I beseech thee lead me to the Rock that is higher than I for thou hast been a shelter to me Lord be thou a strong Tower to me to which I may continually resort for whom have I in Heaven but thee And if I know any thing of my own Heart there is none comparative on Earth that I desire besides thee thou art my God besides thee there is no Saviour I beseech thee guide me with thy Counsel and when I shall go hence and be no more in this World I beseech thee receive me into thy Glory Then follows the Thanksgiving full as large as the Form of Prayer and if it may be more Spiritual raised and Divinely Savoury but I will not repeat the Errour to mangle it and set down so Imperfect Pieces and spoil its Beauty but signifie to her Friends that I shall freely allow them to read the Original which is fairly legible or if they think it worth the while to Copy it out or at more leisure to Print some few Copies of it and others of her usefull
Instrumental yet it was the Lord the Sovereign Lord of her and us who doth all things well Good Madam What you cannot see now you may know hereafter if not in this Life of all in it you shall have clear Manifestations in Heaven that all Dispensations in this World were for the best for you the most I can do is to pity your Ladiship with my poor worthless Prayers in themselves they are so But I would beg of God to uphold you in the Arms of his Mercy that you may not sink under any Tryal and that your Affliction which at present may be grievous may appear not to be the Wound of an Enemy but the Chastisement of a loving Father who deals with you as with his Children in his adopting Love to you in Faithfulness God corrects his People in his distinguishing Love from those which shall never see his Face with comfort Good Madam I know you do desire to be in subjection to the Father of Spirits The Lord will be King let the People be never so impatient God will not grieve nor correct for his own pleasure but for his Childrens profit that they may live God's own Vineyard needs pruning as well as manuring that the Branches thereof may not waste too much of the Life and Spirits and Affections in worldly Satisfactions Good Madam God hath taken away a Branch dear Lady Essex she is not withered but transplanted for his own pleasure and delight that the Fruits of your Love to God may more appear in your willing Resignation of her who was so dear to you not offering unto God that which costs you nought Good Madam You shall sustain no loss God will reimburse and this Breach his Hand hath made he will fill up and repair at his own Charge He will in exchange for a Daughter bestow on you his only Son and build you a House better than Leah and Rachel did Jacob's God will give you a Name better than of Sons and Daughters and make you one of his First-born in Heaven God took it exceeding well that Abraham did not with-hold his beloved Isaac from him and for his ready compliance in what God required of him he had God's Promise That in blessing he would bless him Good Madam God hath more Blessings than one when God proved Abraham he gave him back again his Isaac whom he loved and promised that in him all the Nations of the Earth should be blessed of which Promise Good Madam you do partake with an additional Favour God having ransomed dear Lady Essex out of a troublesome World with a better Sacrifice than that he then provided for Isaac a Ram caught in a Thicket with which Isaac was redeemed unto a transient Life Dear Lady Essex she is redeemed by Jesus Christ unto eternal Life Good Madam What cause of complaint Dear Lady Essex is freed from the many temptations she might have met with in this World Isaac's prolonged Life found it so in his unsetled Condition he met with Affliction in his Posterity with other Troubles of this Life the World is unquiet like the tumbling Ocean dear Lady Essex she hath found a resting Place got off the rough Seas of Sins and Sorrows God hath placed her in the serene Region above God knew what Sail she was able to bear in worldly Prosperity or Adversity he hath taken her from the boisterous Winds that might have disturbed the Coast of her even walking with God God hath steer'd her Course dear Lady Essex she is got safe to Harbour from the windy Storms and Tempests of this World God took Enoch in the midst of his days as they then lived in that Age he walked with God therefore God took him I do humbly hope so did she God bestowed on her a very sweet disposition which I hope God made susceptive of the best impression The best people want their grains of allowance Good Madam Do not drive your Comforters far from you God preserved dear Lady Essex from the great Soul-wasting Sins from all gross Enormities God kept her from ever falling into any scandalous Sins she is gone unspotted out of the World Good Madam better is a good Child dead than a wicked Child living Good Madam I am more than content God hath disposed of all mine I hope through Grace they are safe but I have found much affection much affliction Though Mary had chose the best part assured and confirmed to her by Christ's own Word should never be taken from her yet her Eyes were so filled with tears at the Death of her Lord that she could not see Christ. The two Angels that sate in Christ's Sepulchre could not pacifie her grief nor slue her tears till Christ dried her Eyes with that loving Rebuke Why weepest thou Then she said Raboni and made him Master of her Passion God hath placed all the affections of humane Nature for great advantage if kept in the right Chanel bounded with his Grace that of Grief though for Sin which hath the greatest use of it and needs the highest and fullest Tides God would not have it swell beyond the Bank of his Mercy If God would have his People easie to be entreated himself will not be inexorable or hard to be intreated as good People are prone to think in time of Affliction neither should they be unjust to God and themselves denying the Grace God hath bestowed on them It is best to judge our selves but not unjustly Good Madam Do not misconstrue God in his Dispensations to you Afflictions are oft more for Trial than Correction but how ready is God to receive repenting returning Sinners the Arms of his Mercy are open to embrace them and to cover their Imperfections with his best Robe sent by his Son from the great Wardrobe of Heaven Christ's Righteousness imputed to them and inherent in them adorning of them with the Graces of his Spirit rendring them acceptable to their spiritual Spouse Christ Jesus He is the good Shepherd which laid down his life for his sheep If he send Afflictions they are not to worry but to bring his People nearer to himself If God put his People into the Fornace it is to purifie them not to consume them Good Madam when you are tried that you may come forth as Gold a meet Vessel for God's own use in the fuller Measures of Heaven Though God hath taken from you the Delight of your Eye Dear Lady Essex he will not take away himself but dissipate and scatter your grief with the Light of his Countenance which is better than Life God knows our Frame and will debate in Measure He will not stir up all his Displeasure but will stay his rough Wind in the day of his East-Wind that no Temptation may be above your Strength Good Madam fain would I comfort you but I know your own Thoughts can better suggest to you than I where you may find Grace to help in a time of need God's Promises are supports for the
away then Good Madam in endless Joy you shall meet again dear Lady Essex never to part but shall be for ever with her the rest of the blessed Saints and Angels and all in an indissolvable union with God and Christ in eternal Glory Amen Amen Good Madam It is the Prayer of your singular good Ladiship 's Obedient Servant Elizabeth Walker I beseech you Good Madam excuse the trouble of a long Letter Another Consolatory Letter written to a good Christian Friend under Trouble Good Friend I Have had troublesome solicitous thoughts of what I did not well understand at parting when I last saw you therefore I desire to be farther informed how it is like to be with you But however it may be in this present Life when it concludes it shall be well your comfort is It will be well with the Righteous of which number you are assuredly One of those exercised with God's discriminating Character of Adoption and Sonship Affliction 's his preparatory work upon his People to fit them for a better Estate that should encourage because it will compensate and reward God's Faithfull Ones for all their sufferings for his sake with an eternal weight of Glory which if their Enemies well understood they would in pure Enmity be less injurious to them As to this World if the Death of God's Saints be pretious to him so are their Sufferings considerable though he bear with his and their Enemies for a time Fellow-Creatures through Fear or Cowardise may forsake and desert but God will not You know whose Case it was but he had the strongest Party on his side the Lord stood by him he will not forsake his own Inheritance but his Truth shall be their Shield and Buckler so tender is he of them he would not have their Thoughts disturbed with anxious Sollicitousness And that his People should be continually dependant on himself he sets no Period but promises a continual supply of Grace giving in that Hour that which will make them Justifiable before their Adversaries which they shall not be able to gain-say with the verdict of Truth The Lord fortifie his People for any Tryal he sees fit to call them to that I may be one of those found Faithfull Dear Sir I beg your Prayers for me who am your truly Loving and Affectionate Friend Elizabeth Walker Sept. 24. 83. Part of two Letters written to a young Minister who had lived several Years in my House and was well preferred from thence to stir him up to Faithfulness in his Ministry and may be usefull to other such It may not be unseasonable or unusefull here to take notice what singular Care she would take of the young Scholars which came to live in my Family who though when they were first received bringing more Learning than Religion from the University for sometime would seem a little uneasie and be rather shy of her and undervalue her pious and strict Example and weighty serious Counsels for their Morals and God's Service yet after a while had a very great Respect for her and loved and honoured her as if she had been their Mother I own it as a great Mercy it was so with them all who staid any time with us but shall instance only in the last who though at first seemed to be possessed with a greater prejudice yea averseness than his Predecessors yet before one Year was out was more than convinced of his Errour and daily increased in his value of her and deference he paid her and when towards the end of the third Year his Consumption prevailed so as to threaten his Life and she declaring her concern for him and how much she was troubled he should come to die with us He with a very Pathetick Gratitude cried out O blessed be God that I ever knew this Family I know I must die somewhere and if God would give me my Choice I had rather die here than in any place in all the World I will not presume to commend her Conduct towards such young men from any thing but the good Success and for the sake of that I 'll briefly touch it Her Method was not to be always harping on the same String not to be constantly pressing them with an affected tyring Importunity which like the falls of Nilus rather makes Men Deaf than open their Ears to Discipline her Rules were short but her Example long her Advices few but Wise and Home her Reproofs fewer but Seasonable and Grave but the Copy of an holy diligent serious Conversation was never wanting A small number of wholesome Counsels well exemplified prevails more than a long Series of starched and studied Aphorisms confuted by his Life whose Head conceived them and Mouth dictated them She rarely spake to them directly and in the second Person and never but when the occasion was fair and the necessity urgent frequently what concerns them as of a third Person and it is observable that many times a glancing Blow and a Side-Wind cuts deeper and fills the Sails better than a downright Stroke or a Wind directly in the Stern I remember some of her Prudent Rules but because there are so very few to be assisted by them and it is possible none into whose Hands these Papers may fall they would but vanish into idle Speculations with which I will not trouble my unconcerned Reader And she was not only kind and carefull of their good whilst in our House but continued her Prayers for them and good Counsel to them when removed from us witness the following Letters Good Mr. Ph. I Do assure you my Affections have not been froze though my Ink hath this cold Season which may help make an Apology for a bad Scribe but I now return you my acknowledgments for your kind Letter I have received Good Mr. Ph. I heartily desire to approve my self your true Friend and would not be wanting in any thing you may expect from me whenever opportunity may afford the Tryal Especially I shall endeavour you may not meet with disappointment in that you set so great an estimate and value on my poor Prayers Oh that they were more worth that not only you but with my self the Church and People of God might have some Benefit by God's Assistance and Acceptance of my small Mite which I would as my All cast into that great Stock and Bank committed to the sure Hand and Improvement of our Great Factor and Mediator Jesus Christ who affords great Returns to which Intercourse is given more than his People can ask or think therefore my good Friend afford me your Remembrance at the Throne of Grace at which be frequent and fervent but I need not excite you to so advantageous a Duty by which you may obtain so much for your self and others The pressing Necessities of the Church of God at home and abroad cry aloud for Intercessors to prevent the Judgments we have cause to fear and may justly feel Oh! be one of those who meet
Sheep and his Lambs You have put your hand to God's Plough good Mr. Ph. let not the flattery or fear of Men make you warp from the streight Rule of God's Word You know the most and worst that they can doe and with the same resolution make the Apostles choice Acts 20.24 He that will put the evil day from him may soonest fall by the evil of the day and instead of finding may loose this and eternal Life The evil of Sin will produce much worse than present Sufferings If God call you forth as he did the Martyrs with their Flood to give testimony to the Truth even those Sufferings they esteemed light for the Hope set before them an Eternal Weight of Glory at the greatest length our Lives are not long in this Word Death spares none not the greatest Monarchs a great Man is fallen in our Israel our late Sovereign I have very valuable Thoughts of you you will not despise small things which gives me this Presumption I know you have greater Motives from God's Exiting Grace in you to quicken you to and assist you in your Master's Work than my narrow Scantling can afford happy they that so do they shall neither be ashamed nor affraid when their Reckoning-day comes of which happy number Lord grant you to be I am good Mr. Ph. Your Assured Well-wishing Friend Elizabeth Walker March 15. 84. I publish the following Letter because I intend to give the Book to my plain Parishoners most of whom stand upon the same Level with him to whom it was written Persons of higher Rank may pass it by or give it to their plain Country Tenants I thought to have given an account how one of her Sister's Daughters came to be in so low a Condition whose Father might have given every Child more than a Thousand Pound had he continued the Diligence which he used for several Years after his Marriage with her Sister and the fair Portion he had with her but as she was not ashamed of her Condition no more am I and as things were 't is well she had an Aunt to assist her to match with a sober industrious Man and their joint Stock enable them to manage a Farm of about Fifty Pounds a Year on which they hitherto have and I hope will continue to live comfortably and contentedly Cousin Robert Glassock YOU have not a Friend that more truly desires your Welfare than my self and shall be most affectionately glad of your well-being in this present World but I hope I should much more rejoyce in your certain and assured Interest in a better Life I desire you may obtain both of God who is the giver of all good I beseech you that you may to apply your self to that direct Rule and guidance of God's Word which counsels you to seek the Kingdom of God with his Righteousness in the first place and then you have the Promise of him that is both faithfull and able to perform his Word That the things of this life shall be added unto you as an additional to your future Happiness to which if you could gain the Wealth of the whole World 't would be but like picking up of Straws and Pebbles compared to that Blessed Estate for any thing in Exchange he will make a bad Bargain that ventures the loss of his Soul It was the saying of a good Man that gave a right Judgment That the whole Turkish Empire was but a Crust the Master of the House threw to the Dog How then shall not God the Lord of the whole Universe provide for them of his own Family that are Heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven I request you let it appear to whom you belong shew it by your Christian Profession in the whole Course of your Life to which your Baptism hath engaged you with the Inscription of God's Law which get writ with an indelible Character by the Finger of his Spirit upon your Heart by the use of God's Word you may acquaint your self in your Bible There God gave his Commandments in few and plain words that the meanest Capacity might understand and remember them A great part of the Bible is an Exposition of them You can read it is your Mercy improve that Talent to your Master's use You cannot doe his Will except you know it Therefore as God's Word directs you so observe to doe his Will that you may have regard unto all his Commandments in keeping of them there is great reward Therefore mind the Precepts and put them into practice heed the threatnings against whom and for what that they may deterr and affright you from the way of Sin that you may avoid the end of Punishment Take notice of the Promises and value them as they are worth make them yours by fervent and frequent Prayer and fulfilling the Conditions of them This I do earnestly request of you and the same of your Wife and that you will Pray together and a-part that you may be Heirs together of eternal Life Set up religious Worship in your little Family the smalness of your Family will not excuse the neglect God as he doth require it he will regard where there is but Two or Three he hath promised to be with them I beseech you do not deferr in any known Duty least disuse give you more difficulty to future performance Habitual Customs are most prevalent But to quicken you to this Duty consider for the default of it God's threatning Jeremiah 10. the last I pray you take that Counsel 1 Chron. 28.9 Not to be so bad as others is a step to a good Life But he that goes no farther will fall short of eternal Life I have so good thoughts of you your disposition is not to the Debaucheries and Vices of some but negative Righteousness is not enough With other religious Duties I have already mentioned I most earnestly press you to a strict Observation of the Lord's Day Sanctifie God's Seventh Day and he will Bless your Six Days Labour It will also be a good Hedge not onely to secure your eternal State but all that God may bless you with in this World See the two last Verses of the 58. Isa Read the whole Chapter it may be very profitable to excite you but I beseech you do not violate that Holy Rest by unnecessary Employments in worldly Affairs nor spend that Day in Idleness or Sleeping more than you would in the other Six Days Do not sacrilegiously rob God of his Worship in any part of his Day do not divert by vain talk but give every proportion of time the Duties it requires Be not like those that were weary of the Sabboth Amos 8.5 See likewise Malachi 1st and 3d. Mark the extent of the Fourth Commandment it doth not only require Masters of Families but reacheth all under their Charge their care is required as well for their Souls as their Bodies or else there is no difference made of them from their Cattle therefore you must
Kingdom of Satan may fall and the Kingdom of Christ be exalted that the Gospel may continue where it is and sent where it is not and received in the Love of it through the World Pray for all afflicted as their case requires and with thy Prayers and Praises give thanks to God for the prime Fountain of all his Mercies Christ Jesus In particular thou mayst mention at the Throne of Grace what Christ hath done and suffered for humble contrite Sinners Labour and beg for such a frame of Spirit such God not despise Express thy thankfulness for what Christ hath instituted and ordained in his Church for the Benefit and good of his People Thou mayst in particular express with Prayers and Praises That all may be applicatory to thy self These are short hints thou mayst enlarge God giving thee his Spirit of Grace and Supplication Let not vain Thoughts mingle with religious Duties beware of those wandring Vagrants do not take such Company with thee when thou drawest near to God in any Religious performance lest it be like offering strange fire provoke God rather to consume than bless thee but keep off those busie Flies they may not corrupt thy Sacrifice Say to all disturbing Thoughts as Abraham said to his Servants when he went to the Mount to Sacrifice Stay you here below till I go to Worship God Fervent Prayer is very prevalent with God of it may be said what is said of Faith which is a justifying Grace without which it is impossible to please God Heb. 11. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him Good works are the Life of Faith being well performed for matter and manner without which Faith is Dead and God is not the God of the dead but of the living as the body without the spirit is dead so without works faith is dead also St. James 2. The great things a lively Faith hath done fervent Prayer hath done the same The little Book I sent thee was thy dear Mother's it is a good Discourse of Prayer Dear Johnny let thy Prayers and Praises with the sweet Incense of thy Love to God be offered to him on the golden Altar of an humble and sincere Heart in the mediation of Jesus Christ and put no religious Duty off with that foolish idle Excuse I have not time lest thou as the foolish Virgins were be unfurnish'd of Oil for the Lamp of thy Christian Profession and for thy neglect shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven If Time for Play Recreation Eating Sleeping or the like a due proportion of Time may be gained from them for thy best therefore thy most concern those indispensable Duties on which thy eternal welfare so much depends the neglect of them may be thy inevitable Ruine in this Life and that to come for Godliness hath the promise of both Therefore seek the Kingdom of Heaven in the first place and the things of this present Life shall be added to thee as may be good for thee The things of this World compared to God and Heaven are but Straws and Pibbles St. Paul calls them dross and Luther said The whole Turkish Empire is but a Crust God throws to the Dog God hath provided better things for those that love and seek him In this world is our preparatory Life for our future Estate I have oft said to thee That all Men are about this great Business but in a different way to a different end Good Men prepare for Heaven and Wicked Men prepare for Hell therefore avoid the broad-way of a sinfull Life which leads to Destruction chuse that way which comparatively few find the way of an holy Life the end of which is Peace which the World cannot give Dear Johnny Do not deferr thy great concern to serve God and save thy Soul more worth than Ten thousand Worlds Many much younger than thee have set about this great work Thou hast oft read Mr. Smythies's Book of the Benefit of early Piety also thou hast had a civil and religious Education and many more Prayers than thou art Days old Thy dear Grandfather's Care Counsel and Prayers mine have not been wanting as far as able to perform in my care and love of thee let them not condemn thee but labour to answer the end of them that thou mayst not disappoint God and us to thy own detriment and loss Dear Johnny where much is given the more will be required Time is precious use all lawfull Industry and Diligence for thy well being in this World and make all subservient for a better to come Thou knowest not how long God may continue thy Friends to thee She was not continued three Months nay thy own Life is uncertain all things in this World are so and there is no retrieving an Errour on the other side of Death Do not procrastinate take the wise Man's Counsel what thy hand findeth to doe doe it with all thy might which inferrs speed and diligence for the obtaining internal and external Blessings Deferring made St. Augusting cry out Too late too late Lord did I love thee Dear Johnny Do not put God off with a decrepid Love and the chill Spirits of old age and bodily Infirmity by which the operative Faculties of thy Soul through the organical Powers of the Body may be obstructed with defect and impeded with the ill Habits and Customs of Sin Avoid this Danger give to God the vigour and strength of thy Life let it be without blemish By God's appointment the young was brought to him in Sacrifice Do thou as Righteous Abel give to God thy firstlings thy first Love and suffer no Rival or Competitour with it it was the Test Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Dear Johnny I used to mind thee St. John thy own name let him be thy Example in thy Love to God he was the youngest Disciple most eminent in Christ's Love He was called the Disciple whom Jesus loved Dear Johnny Be not taken with the Gauds and Vanities of this World in any of the profers of it they will bite like an Adder and sting like a Serpent if they draw thy Heart from God Be not deceived by them they will put a lye in thy right-hand promising more than they can give Be not affected with vain Glory it is but a Puff of breath soon exhaled and will vanish from thee Yea so are all the things of this World for the duration of them Remember thy Baptismal Covenant with God thou didst promise to forsake the Pomps and Vanities of this World the Devil and all his Works and sinfull Appetites to them I was a Witness to this Engagement and one of thy Sureties Dear Johnny let thy Baptismal Vow through Grace preserve thy Morals untainted Let none be corrupted by thy ill Example and be not thou infected by the evil manners of others Speak no obscene or scurrilous Language