art my meat and my drink my love and my joy my sweetness and all my good 3. O that with thy presence thou wouldest wholly inflame burn and conform me unto thy self that I might be made one spirit with thee by the grace of inward union and by the meltings of ardent love Suffer me not to go from thee hungry and dry but deal mercifully with me as thou hast oftentimes dealt wonderfully with thy Saints What marvel is it if I should be wholly inflamed by thee and die from my self sith thou art fire always burning and never decaying love purifying the heart and enlightning the understanding CHAP. XVII Of fervent love and vehement desire to receive Christ. The voice of the Disciple ple WIth great devotion and ardent love with most hearty affection and fervor I desire to receive thee O Lord as many Saints and devout persons have desired thee when they received thy Sacrament who were most pleasing unto thee in holiness of life and most fervent in devotion O my God my everlasting love my whole good my happiness without end I would gladly receive thee with the most vehement desire and most worthy reverence that any of the Saints ever had or could feel 2. And although I be unworthy to have all those feelings of devotion yet I offer unto thee the whole affection of my heart as if I alone had all those highly pleasing inflamed desires yea and whatsoever also an holy mind can conceive and desire all that with greatest reverence and most inward affection I offer and present unto thee I desire to reserve nothing to my self but freely and most willingly to sacrifice my self and all mine unto thee my Lord God my Creator and my Redeemer I desire to receive thee this day with such affection reverence praise and honor with such gratitude worthiness and love with such faith hope and purity as thy most holy Mother the glorious Virgin Mary received and desired thee when she humbly and devoutly answered the Angel who declared unto her the mystery of the Incarnation and said Behold the handmaid of the Lord let it be done unto me according to thy word 3. And as thy blessed Forerunner the most excellent amongst the Saints Iohn Baptist chearfully leaped by reason of the holy Ghost whilest he was yet shut up in his Mothers womb and afterwards seeing Jesus walking amongst Men humbling himself very much said with devout affection The friend of the Bridegroom that standeth and heareth him rejoyceth with joy for the voice of the Bridegroom so I also wish to be inflamed with great and holy desires and to offer my self up to thee with my whole heart Wherefore I offer also and present unto thee the joys fervent affections mental excesses and supernal illuminations and Heavenly visions of all devout hearts with all the vertues and praises celebrated and to be celebrated by all creatures in Heaven and Earth for my self and all such as are commended to me in prayer that by all thou maist be worthily praised and glorified for ever 4. Receive my Lord God my wishes and desires of giving thee infinite praise and thanks which according to the measure of thy unspeakable greatness are most worthily due unto thee These I yield thee and desire to yield thee every day and moment I do entreat and invite all Heavenly minds and all the devout Servants to give thanks and praises together with me 5. Let all People Tribes and Tongues praise thee and magnifie thy holy and sweet Name with great joy and fervent devotion and let all that reverently and devoutly celebrate thy most high Sacrament and receive it with full faith find grace and mercy at thy hands and pray humbly for me a sinful creature And when they shall have obtained their desired devotion and joyful union and depart from thy sacred Heavenly Table well comforted and marvellously refreshed let them vouchsafe to remember my poor soul. CHAP. XVIII That Man be not a curious searcher of the Sacrament but an humble follower of Christ submitting his sense to faith The voice of the Beloved THou oughtest to beware of curious and unprofitable searching into this most profound Sacrament if thou wilt not be plunged in the depths of doubts He that is a searcher of Majesty shall be oppressed by thy glory God is able to work more than Man can understand A pious and humble inquiry of truth is tolerable so it be always ready to be taught and do endeavor to walk in the sound doctrines of the Fathers 2. Blessed is that simplicity that forsaketh the difficult ways of questions and goeth on in the plain and assured path of Gods Commandments Many have lost devotion whilest they would search after high things Faith and a sincere life required at thy hands not height of understanding nor a diving deep into the mysteries of God If thou dost not understand nor conceive those things that are under thee how shalt thou be able to comprehend those that are above thee Submit thy self to God and let thy sense be subject to faith and the light of knowledg shall be given thee in that degree as shall be profitable and necessary for thee 3. Some are grievously tempted about faith and the Sacrament but this is not to be imputed to them but rather to the Enemy Be not thou anxious nor dispute with thy thoughts neither do thou give answer to the doubts cast in by the Devil but believe the words of God believe his Saints and Prophets and the wicked Enemy will flie from thee It is oftentimes very profitable to the Servant of God to suffer such things For the Devil tempteth not unbelievers and sinners whom he already securely possesseth but he sundry ways tempteth and vexeth the faithful and religious 4. Go forward therefore with a sincere and undoubted faith and come to the Sacrament with unfeigned reverence And whatsoever thou art not able to understand commit securely to Almighty God God deceiveth thee not he is deceived that trusteth to much to himself God walketh with the simple revealeth himself to the humble giveth understanding to the little ones openeth the sense to pure minds and hideth grace from the curious and proud Humane reason is weak and may be deceived but true faith cannot be deceived 5. All reason and natural search ought to follow faith not to go before nor infringe it For faith and love do here chiefly excell and work in a hidden manner in this most holy and excellent Sacrament God who is everlasting and of infinite power doth great and inscrutable things in Heaven and in Earth and there is no searching out of his wonderful works If the works of God were such as might be easily comprehended by humane reason they were not to be called wonderful and unspeakable FINIS
goods And he that loseth Jesus loseth too much and more than the whole world He is most poor that liveth without Jesus and he is most rich that is well with Jesus 3. It is a piece of great skill to know how to converse with Jesus and great wisdom to know how to keep Jesus Be humble and peaceable and Jesus will be with thee Be devout and quiet and Jesus will stay with thee Thou mayest soon drive away Jesus and lose his grace if thou turn aside to outward things And if thou shouldest drive him from thee and lose him unto whom wilt thou flie and what friends wilt thou then seek Without a friend thou canst not well live and if Jesus be not above all a friend unto thee thou shalt be too sorrowful and desolate Thou doest therefore foolishly if thou doest trust or rejoyce in any other It is better for thee to have all the world against thee than Jesus offended with thee Amongst all things therefore that be dear unto thee let Jesus alone be thy chiefest beloved 4. Love all for Jesus but Jesus for himself Jesus Christ alone is singularly to be beloved who alone is found to be good and faithful above all friends For him and in him let as well friends as foes be dear unto thee and all these are to be prayed for that all may know and love him Never desire to be singularly commended or beloved for that appertaineth only unto God who hath none like unto himself Neither do thou desire that the heart of any should be set on thee nor do thou set thy heart on the love of any but let Jesus be in thee and in every good Man 5. Be pure and free within and intangle not thy heart with any creature Thou oughtest to be as it were naked and to carry a pure heart to God if thou wouldest be free to consider and see how sweet the Lord is And truly unless thou be prevented and drawn by his grace thou shalt never attain to that happiness to forsake and cast off all that thou alone mayest be united to him alone For when the grace of God cometh unto a Man then he is made able for all things And when it goeth away he is poor and weak and as it were left only unto the lash and scourge of every adversary In this thou oughtest not to be dejected nor despair but to resign thy self with all indifferency unto the will of God and to bear all things that befal thee for the glory of Christ for after winter followeth summer after night cometh day and after a tempest fair weather CHAP. IX Of the want of all comfort IT is no hard matter to despise humane comfort when we have divine It is much and very much to be able to want both humane and divine comfort and for the Glory of God to be willing to endure desolation of heart and to seek himself in nothing nor to regard his own merit What great matter is it if thou be chearful and devout at the coming of grace This hour is wished for of all Men. He rideth easily enough whom the grace of God carrieth And what marvel if he feel not his burden who is born up by the Almighty and led by the soveraign guide 2. We are always willing to have something for our comfort and a Man doth hardly put off and forsake himself The holy martyr St. Laurence overcame the world with his Prelates because he despised whatsoever seemed delightsom in the world and for the love of Christ patiently suffered Sixtus to be taken from him whom he most dearly loved He overcame therefore the love of Man by the love of the Creator and he rather chose the divine good pleasure than humane comfort See thou also learn to forsake some necessary thing and a beloved friend for the love of God Be not grieved when thou art forsaken by a friend knowing that we all at length must be separated one from another 3. A Man must fight long and mightily with himself before he get the full victory over himself and be able to draw his whole heart in to God When a Man trusteth in himself he easily slideth unto humane comforts but a true lover of Christ and a diligent follower of virtue betakes not himself to humane comforts nor seeketh such sensible sweetnesses but rather hard exercises and to sustain great labors for Christ. 4. When therefore spiritual comfort is given thee from God receive it thankfully but know that it is the gift of God not any desert of thine Be not puffed up joy not too much neither do thou presume vainly but be rather the more humble for that gift and more wary and sollicitous in all thine actions for that hour will pass away and temptation will succeed When consolation is taken from thee despair not presently but with humility and patience wait for the Heavenly visitation for God is able again to give thee greater consolation This is not new nor strange unto them that have experience in the way of God for the great Saints and ancient prophets had oftentimes experience of such kind of vicissitudes 5. For which cause one under the enjoyment of divine favor said I said in my prosperity I shall never be moved But in the want of this he addeth what he found in himself saying thou turn'dst thy face from me and I became troubled Yet doth he not despair in the midst of these changes but more earnestly prayeth unto the Lord and saith Unto thee O Lord will I cry and I will pray unto my God Lastly he receiveth the fruit of his prayer and witnesseth that he was heard saying The Lord hath heard me and taken pity on me the Lord is become my helper But wherein Thou hast turned saith he my sorrow into joy and thou hast compassed me about with gladness If great Saints have been so dealt withal we that are weak and poor ought not to despair if we be sometimes fervent and sometimes cold for the Spirit cometh and goeth according to the good pleasure of his will For which cause blessed Job saith Thou visitest him early in the morning and suddenly thou provest him 6. Whereupon therefore can I hope or wherein ought I to trust but in the great mercy of God alone and in the only hope of heavenly grace For whether I enjoy the presence of good Men or religious brethren or faithful friends or holy Books or excellent treatises or sweet songs and hymns all these help little and have little savor when grace forsaketh me and I remain left in mine own poverty At such time there is no better remedy thà n patience and the ordering of my self according to the will of God 7. I never found any so religious and devout that hath not had sometimes a withdrawing of grace or felt not some decrease of zeal There was never Saint so highly rapt and illuminated who first or last was not tempted For he is not
when the gate of Heaven remained shut and the way also to Heaven seemed darker when so few took care to seek after thy Kingdom Neither they also that then were just and such as should be saved could enter into the Heavenly Kingdom before the satisfaction of thy holy passion and death 3. O how many and great thanks am I bound to render unto thee that thou hast vouchsafed to shew unto me and to all the faithful a direct and sure way to thy everlasting Kingdom For thy life is our way and by holy patience we go unto thee that art our Crown If thou hadst not gone before us and taught us who would have taken care to follow Alas How many would stay behind and remain far off if they beheld not thy noble example Behold we are yet cold although we have heard of so many of thy wonders and thy Heavenly documents what would become of us if we had not so great a light given us to follow thee CHAP. XIX Of suffering of injuries and who is proved to be truly patient CHrist. What is it thou sayest Son Cease to complain considering my passion and that of my other Saints Thou hast not yet made resistance unto blood It is but little thou sufferest in comparison of them that have suffered so much were so strongly tempted so grievously afflicted so many ways tried and exercised Thou oughtest therefore to call to mind the more heavy sufferings of others that thou mayest the easier bear the little adversities which thou sufferest And if they seem not little unto thee beware lest thy impatience be cause thereof Yet whether they be little or great endeavor to bear all patiently 2. How much the better thou disposest thy self to suffering so much the more wisely thou doest and so much the greater reward shalt thou receive thou shalt more easily also endure it if both in mind and by exercise thou art well prepared thereunto Do not say I cannot suffer these things at the hands of such a person nor such things are not to be suffered by me for he hath done me great wrong and upbraided me with those things which I never thought of but of another I will willingly suffer and as I shall see cause Such a thought is foolish it considereth not the virtue of patience nor by whom it shall be crowned but rather weigheth the persons and the injuries offered 3. He is not truly patient that will not suffer but as much as he thinketh good and by whom he listeth But the true patient Man mindeth not by whom he is exercised whether by his Superiors or some of his equals or by his inferiors whether by a good and holy Man or by a perverse and unworthy person But indifferently from all creatures how much soever or how often soever any adversity befalleth him he taketh all this thankfully as from the hands of God and esteemeth it a great gain for that nothing before God how little soever so it be suffered for God shall pass without its reward 4. Be thou therefore always prepared for the fight if thou wilt have the victory Without a combat thou canst not attain unto the crown of patience If thou wilt not suffer thou refusest to be crowned But if thou desirest to be crowned fight manfully and endure patiently Without labor there is no coming to rest nor without fighting can the victory be obtained Christian. Lord let that be made possible to me by thy grace which seemeth impossible to me by nature Thou knowest that I can suffer but little and that I am quickly dismayed when a small adversity ariseth Let every exercise of tribulation be made amiable unto me and be welcom for thy name for to suffer and to be troubled for thy sake is very profitable for my soul. CHAP. XX. Of the acknowledging of our own infirmities and of the miseries of this life CHristian I will confess against me my unrighteousness I will confess unto thee O Lord my infirmities Oftentimes it is a small matter that dejecteth and grieveth me I purpose to act with courage but when a small temptation cometh it bringeth me into very narrow straits It is sometimes a very trifle from whence great temptations do proceed And whilest I think my self somewhat safe when I least expect it I find my self sometimes overcome with a small blast 2. Behold therefore Lord my lowness and frailty every way known unto thee Have mercy on me and deliver me out of the mire that I stick not fast therein and that I may not for ever remain dejected This is that which oftentimes strikes me at the very heart and confounds me in thy sight for that I am so subject to fall and weak in resisting of my passions And although though I do not altogether consent yet their continual assaults are troublesom and grievous unto me and it is a very irksom thing to live thus daily in conflict Hereby my infirmity is made known unto me for that wicked fancies do always much more easily invade than forsake me 3. O mighty God of Israel the zealous lover of faithful souls let it please thee to consider the labor and sorrow of thy Servant and assist him in all whatsoever he undertaketh Strengthen me with Heavenly strength lest the old Man the miserable flesh not fully as yet subject to the spirit prevail and get the upper hand against which I ought to fight as long as I breath in this miserable life Alas what a kind of life is this where tribulation and miseries are never wanting where all is full of snares and enemies For when one tribulation or temptation goeth away another first cometh yea and during the first conflict also many others come unlooked for one after another 4. And how can a life be loved that hath so many embitterments and is subject to so many calamities and miseries How is it called a life that begetteth so many deaths and plagues And yet it is loved and many seek to delight themselves therein The world is oftentimes blamed that it is deceitful and vain and yet it is not easily forsaken because the desires of the flesh bear so great a sway 5. Some things draw us to love it others to contemn it To the love of the world the lust of the flesh the lust of the eyes and the pride of life do draw us but the pains and miseries that do justly follow them cause a hatred and loathsomness thereof 6. But alas vile pleasure overcometh the mind which is addicted to the world and she esteemeth it a delight to be even under thorns because she hath neither seen nor tasted the sweetness of God and the inward pleasantness of virtue But they that perfectly contemn the world and endeavor to live to God under holy discipline these are not ignorant of the divine sweetness promised to the true forsakers of the world and do more clearly see how grievously the world erreth and how it is many ways
deceived CHAP. XXI That we are to rest in God above all his gifts and benefits CHristian Above all things and in all things O my soul thou shalt ever rest in the Lord for he is the everlasting rest of the Saints Grant me O most sweet and loving Jesus to rest in thee above all creatures above all health and beauty above all glory and honor above all power and dignity above all knowledg and subtilty above all riches and arts above all joy and gladness above all fame and praise above all sweetness and comfort above all hope and promise above all desert and desire above all gifts and presents that thou canst give and impart unto us above all mirth and jubilee that the mind of Man can receive and feel lastly above Angels and Archangels and above all the Heavenly host above all visible and invisible things and above all that thou art not O my God 2. For that thou my Lord God art best of all thou alone art most high thou alone most powerful thou alone most full and sufficient thou alone most sweet and solacing thou alone most lovely and loving thou alone most noble and glorious above all things in whom all good things together both perfectly are and ever have been and shall be and therefore it is too little and not sufficient whatsoever thou bestowest on me besides thy self or revealest unto me of thy self or promisest whilest thou art not seen and not fully obtained for surely my heart cannot truly rest nor be fully contented unless it rest in thee and surmount all gifts and creatures whatsoever 3. O my most beloved Bridegroom Jesus Christ the most pure lover the governor of all creatures O that I had the wings of true liberty that I might flie and rest in thee O when shall it be fully granted me to consider in quietness of mind and see how sweet thou art my Lord God! When shall I fully gather up my self into thee that by reason of my love to thee I may not feel my self but thee alone above all sense and feeling in a manner not known unto every one but now I oftentimes sigh and bear my infelicity with grief for that many evils occurr in this vale of miseries which do often trouble grieve and overcloud me often hinder and distract me allure and intangle me for that I can have no free access unto thee nor enjoy thy sweet embracings wherewith thou ever favorest the blessed Spirits O let my sighs and manifold desolations on Earth affect thee 4. O Jesus the brightness of eternal glory and comfort of the pilgrim soul with thee is my tongue without voice and my very silence speaketh unto thee How long doth my Lord delay to come Let him come unto me his poor Servant and make me glad Let him put forth his hand and deliver miserable me from all anguish Come O come for without thee I shall have no joyful day nor hour for thou art my joy and without thee my table is empty A wretched creature I am and in a manner imprisoned and loaden with Irons until thou comfortest me with the light of thy presence and settest me at liberty and shewest a friendly countenance unto me 5. Let others seek what they please instead of thee but for me nothing else doth nor shall delight me but thou only my God my hope my everlasting salvation I will not hold my peace nor cease to pray until thy grace return again and thou speak inwardly unto me Christ. Behold I am here behold I come unto thee because thou hast called upon me Thy tears and the desire of thy soul thy humiliation and the contrition of thy heart have inclined and brought me unto thee Christian. And I said Lord I have called thee and have desired to enjoy thee being ready to refuse all things for thee For thou first hast stirred me up that I might seek thee Blessed be thou therefore O Lord that hast shewed this goodness to thy Servant according to the multitude of thy mercies 6. What hath thy servant more to say before thee but that he do greatly humble himself in thy sight always mindful of his own iniquity and vileness For there is none like unto thee in all whatsoever is wonderful in Heaven and Earth Thy works are very good thy judgments true and by thy providence all things are governed Praise therefore and glory be unto thee O wisdom of the Father let my mouth my soul and all creatures together praise and bless thee CHAP. XXII Of the remembrance of the manifold benefits of God CHristian Open O Lord my heart in thy Law and teach me to walk in thy Commandments Grant me to understand thy will and to remember thy benefits as well in general as in particular with great reverence and diligent consideration that henceforward I may be able worthily to give thee thanks But I know and confess that I am not able in the least point to give thee due thanks for the favors which thou bestowest upon me I am less than the least of all thy benefits and when I consider thy noble bounty the greatness thereof maketh my spirit to faint 2. All that we have in our soul and body and whatsoever we possess outwardly or inwardly naturally or supernaturally are thy benefits and do speak thee bountiful merciful and good from whom we have received all good things Although one have received more another less all notwithstanding are thine and without thee even the least cannot be had He that hath received greater cannot glory of his own desert nor extol himself above others nor insult over the lesser for he is greater and better that ascribeth least unto himself and is more humble and religious in rendring thanks And he that esteemeth himself vilest of all Men and judgeth himself most unworthy is fittest to receive great blessings 3. And he that hath received fewer ought not to be sorry nor take it grievously nor envy them that are enriched with greater store but attend rather unto thee and highly praise thy goodness for that thou bestowest thy gifts so bountifully so freely and so willingly without respect of persons All things proceed from thee and therefore in all things thou art to be praised Thou knowest what is fit to be given to every one and why this Man hath less and he more it is not ours but thine to judge who dost exactly know what is meet for every one 4. Wherefore my Lord God I esteem it as a great mercy not to have much of that which outwardly and in the opinion of Men might seem worthy of glory and applause so that he who considereth the poverty and unworthiness of his person ought not therefore to conceive grief or sorrow or to be therefore troubled but rather to take great comfort and to be glad for that thou O God hast chosen the poor and humble and the despised of this world for thy self and for thy familiar and domestick attendants
ought to have humbled my self and to have born meekly vouchsafe mercifully to pardon me as often as I have failed herein and give me again grace of greater sufferance For thy abundant mercy is more available to me for the obtaining of pardon than my conceived justice for the defence of my hidden conscience Although I know nothing by my self yet I cannot hereby justifie my self for without thy mercy no Man living shall be justified in thy sight CHAP. XLVII That all grievous things are to be endured for life everlasting CHrist. Son be not dismaied with the painful labors which thou hast undertaken for me neither be thou wholly discomforted for the tribulations which do befal thee but let my promise strengthen and comfort thee in all events I am able to reward thee infinitely and above all measure Thou shalt not long toil here nor always be pressed with griefs Wait a while and thou shalt see a speedy end of thy evils There will come an hour when all labor and trouble shall cease Little and short is all that which passeth away with time 2. Do what thou dost labor faithfully in my Vineyard I will be thy reward Write read sing mourn keep silence pray suffer crosses manfully life everlasting is worthy of all these yea and greater combats Peace shall come in the day which is known unto the Lord and there shall be neither day nor night to wit of this time but everlasting light infinite brightness stedfast peace and secure rest Then thou shalt not say Who shall deliver me from the body of this death Nor cry Wo is me that my sojourning is prolonged For death shall be thrown down and salvation shall appear which never shall have end there shall be no anxiety but blessed joy sweet and lovely company 3. O if thou hadst seen the everlasting Crowns of the Saints in Heaven and with how great glory they now rejoyce who in times past were contemptible to this world and esteemed unworthy of life it self truly thou wouldest presently humble thy self even unto the Earth and wouldest rather seek to be under the feet of all than to have command so much as over one neither wouldest thou desire the pleasant days of this life but rather rejoyce to suffer affliction for God and esteem it thy greatest gain to be reputed as nothing amongst Men. 4. O if thou hadst a relishing of these things and didst suffer them to sink into the bottom of thy heart how durst thou so much as once to complain Are not all painful labors to be endured for everlasting life It is no small matter to lose or to gain the Kingdom of Heaven Lift up thy face therefore unto Heaven behold I and all my Saints with me who in this world had great conflicts do now rejoyce now are comforted now are secure now are at rest and shall remain with me everlastingly in the Kingdom of my Father CHAP. XLVIII Of the everlasting day and shortness of this life CHristian O most blessed mansion of the Heavenly City O most clear day of Eternity which night obscureth not but the highest Truth ever enlightneth a day of continual joy of perpetual quietness and never changing into a contrary state O that that day would once appear and all these temporal things were at an end To the Saints it shineth glistering with evelasting brightness but to those that are Pilgrims upon Earth it appeareth only afar off and as it were through a glass 2. The Citizens of Heaven do know how joyful that day is but the banished Children of Eve bewail the bitterness and tediousness of this The daies of this life are short and evil full of sorrow and anguish where Man is defiled with many sins incumbred with many passions disquieted with many fears filled with many cares distracted with many curiosities intangled with many vanities compassed about with many errors worn away with many labors vexed with temptations weakned with pleasures tormented with want 3. O when shall these evils be at an end when shall I be delivered from the miserable bondage of sin When shall I think O Lord of thee alone When shall I fully rejoyce in thee When shall I enjoy true liberty without all impediments whatsoever without all trouble of mind and body When shall I have solid peace secure and undisturbed peace peace within and without peace every way assured O good Jesus when shall I stand to behold thee When shall I contemplate the glory of thy Kingdom When wilt thou be unto me All in all O when shall I be with thee in thy Kingdom which thou hast prepared for thy beloved from all eternity I am left a poor and banished Man in the land of mine enemies where there are daily wars and great calamities 4. Comfort my banishment asswage my sorrow for my whole desire fighteth after thee For all is burdensome to me whatsoever this world offereth for my comfort I long to enjoy thee most inwardly but I cannot attain unto it My desire is that I may be wholly given up to Heavenly things but temporal things and unmortified passions weigh me down With the mind I would be above all things but with the flesh I am inforced to be subject against my will Thus unhappy Man that I am I fight against my self and am become grievous to my self whilst my spirit seeketh to be above and my flesh to be below 5. O what do I inwardly suffer when in my mind I consider Heavenly things and presently in my prayers a multitude of carnal imaginations present themselves before me My God be not far from me depart not in thy wrath from thy Servant Cast forth thy lightning and disperse them send out thy darts and break all the imaginations which my enemy casts in Gather in call home my senses unto thee make me forget all the things of this world grant me to cast away speedily the imaginations of wickedness Succor me O thou the everlasting Truth that no vanity may move me Come Heavenly sweetness and let all impurity fly from before thee Pardon me also and mercifully forgive me as often as I think upon any thing else besides thee in prayer I do truly confess that I am wont to be subject to many distractions for oftentimes I am not there where I do corporally stand or sit but I am rather there whither my thoughts do carry me Where my thought is there am I there is oftentimes my thought where my affection is That quickly offereth it self unto me which is naturally delightsom or by custom is pleasing 6. And for this cause thou that art Truth it self hast plainly said Where thy treasure is there is also thy heart If I love Heaven I willingly think of Heavenly things If I love the world I rejoyce at the felicity of the world and grieve for the adversity thereof If I love the flesh I shall fancy oftentimes those things that are pleasing to the flesh If I love the spirit
remember not that I have done any good but have been always prone to sin and slow to amendment This is true and I cannot deny it If I should say otherwise thou wouldest stand against me and there would be none to defend me What have I deserved for my sins but Hell and everlasting fire I confess in very truth that I am worthy of all scorn and contempt and it is not fit that I should be remembred amongst thy holy ones And although I be unwilling to hear this yet notwithstanding for the truths sake I will lay open my sins against my self that so the sooner I may obtain mercy at thy hand 3. What shall I say being guilty and full of all confusion I have nothing to say but this I have sinned Lord I have sinned have mercy on me pardon me suffer me a little that I may bewail my grief before I go unto the land of darkness a land covered with the shadow of death What dost thou so much require of a guilty and miserable sinner as that he be contrite and humble himself for his offences Of true contrition and humbling of the heart ariseth hope of forgiveness the troubled conscience is reconciled to God the favor of God which was lost is recovered Man is preserved from the wrath to come and God and the penitent soul meet together with an holy kiss 4. Humble contrition for sins is an acceptable sacrifice unto thee O Lord savoring much sweeter in thy presence than the perfume of frankincense This is also the pleasant ointment which thou wouldest should be poured upon thy sacred feet for thou never despisest a contrite and humbled heart There is the place of refuge from the angry face of the enemy there is amended and washed away whatsoever defilement elsewhere was contracted and whatsoever is polluted CHAP. LIII That the grace of God doth not joyn it self with those that savor of Earthly things CHrist. Son my grace is precious it suffereth not it self to be mingled with external things nor earthly comforts Thou oughtest therefore to cast away all hindrances of grace if thou desire to receive the infusion thereof Choose therefore a secret place to thy self love to live alone with thy self desire the conversation of none but rather pour out devout Prayers unto God that thou mayest keep thy mind in compunction and thy conscience pure Esteem the whole world as nothing prefer attendance upon God before all outward things for thou canst not attend upou me and be delighted also in transitory vanities Thou oughtest to sequester thy self from thy acquaintance and friends and to keep thy mind void of all temporal comfort So the blessed Apostle Peter required that the faithful of Christ should keep themselves as strangers and pilgrims in this world 2. O how great a confidence shall he have at the hour of death whom no affection to any Earthly thing detaineth in the world but the sickly mind is not yet capable of so retired a heart neither doth the carnal Man understand the liberty of him who is inwardly recollected Notwithstanding if he will be truly spiritual he ought to renounce as well those which are strangers as those which are near unto him and to beware of no Man more than of himself If thou perfectly overcome thy self thou shalt with more ease subdue the rest It is a perfect victory to triumph over our selves For he that keepeth himself subject in such sort that his sensuality be subdued to reason and reason in all things be obedient to me he is truly a conqueror of himself and Lord of the world 3. If thou desire to mount unto this height thou must set out couragiously and lay the Ax to the root that thou mayst pluck up and destroy that hidden inordinate inclination to thy self and unto all private and Earthly good Of this sin that Man too inordinately loveth himself almost all dependeth whatsoever is throughly to be overcome which evil being once overcome and subdued there will presently ensue great peace and tranquillity But for that few endeavor perfectly to die unto themselves and altogether to go out of themselves therefore they remain intangled in themselves and cannot be lifted up in spirit above themselves But he that desireth to walk freely with me it is necessary that he mortifie all evil and inordinate affections and that he should not earnestly adhere unto any creature by private love CHAP. LIV. Of the different motions of Nature and Grace CHrist. Son mark diligently the motions of Nature and Grace for in a very contrary and subtil manner these are moved and can hardly be discerned but by him that is spiritually and inwardly enlightned All Men indeed desire that which is good and pretend some good in their words and deeds and therefore uuder the shew of good many are deceived Nature is crafty and seduceth intangleth and deceiveth many and always proposeth her self for her end but Grace walketh in simplicity and avoideth all shew of evil pretendeth not deceits and doth all things purely for Gods sake in whom also she finally resteth 2. Nature will not willingly die nor be kept down nor be overcome nor be subject to any nor be subdued but Grace mindeth self mortification resisteth sensuality seeketh to be subject is willing to be kept under and will not use her own liberty she loveth to be kept under discipline and desireth not to rule any but always to live and remain wholly subject unto God and for God is ready humbly to bow unto all Men. Nature striveth for her own commodity and considereth what profit she may reap by another but Grace considereth not what is profitable and commodious unto her self but rather what is profitable to many Nature willingly receiveth honor and reverence but Grace faithfully attributeth all honor and glory unto God 3. Nature feareth shame and contempt but Grace rejoyceth to suffer reproach for the Name of Jesus Nature loveth idleness and bodily rest but Grace cannot be idle but willingly imbraceth labor Nature seeketh to have those things that be curious and glorious abhorreth that which is mean and course but Grace delighteth in plain and humble things despiseth not rough things nor refuseth to wear that which is old and torn Nature respecteth temporal things rejoyceth at Earthly gain sorroweth for loss is moved with every little injurious word but Grace thinketh on that which is everlasting and cleaveth not to temporal things she is not troubled with losses nor disquieted with hard words for that she hath placed her treasure and joy in Heaven where nothing perisheth 4. Nature is covetous and doth more willingly receive than give she loveth proper and private things but Grace is bountiful and liberal to all shunneth private interest is content with a little thinketh that it is more blessed to give than to receive Nature is bent to the creatures to her own flesh to vanities and to many vagaries but Grace draweth unto God and unto goodness
advise thee not to enquire nor dispute of the merits of the Saints which of them is holier than the other and which is greater in the Kingdom of Heaven These things oftentimes breed strife and unprofitable contentions they nourish also pride and vain glory from whence do spring envy and dissentions whilst one will proudly prefer this and the other another To desire to know and search out such things is to no purpose nor would it please the Saints for I am not the God of dissention but of peace which peace consisteth rather in true humility than in self exaltation 3. Some are carried with zeal of affection to love these or those most but this love is rather humane than divine I am He who made all the Saints and have given them grace I have given them glory I know what every one hath deserved I have prevented them with the blessings of my goodness I foreknew my beloved before the beginning of the world I chose them out of the world they chose not me first I called them by grace I drew them by mercy I led them through sundry temptations I have poured into them glorious comforts I have given them perseverance I have crowned their patience 4. I know both the first and the last I embrace all with inestimable love I am to be praised in all my Saints I am to be blessed above all things and to be honored in every one whom I have thus gloriously exalted and predestinated without any precedent merits of their own He therefore that contemneth one of the least of my Saints honoreth not the greatest for that I made both the less and the greater and he that dispraifeth any of my Saints dispraiseth also me and all the rest in the Kingdom of Heaven There all are one through the bond of love they think the same they will the same and they all love one another 5. But yet which is much more high they love me more than themselves and are drawn out of all themselves or any merits of their own For being ravished above self-love they are wholly carried out to love me in whom also they do fruitively rest Nothing can turn them back nothing can press them down for being full of the eternal Truth they burn with the fire of unquenchable love Let therefore carnal and natural Men who can affect no other but their private joys forbear to dispute of the state of Saints They add and take away according to their own fancies not as it pleaseth the eternal Truth 6. Many are ignorant but specially those that be slenderly enlightned and these can seldom love any with a perfect spiritual love They are as yet much drawn by a natural affection and humane friendship to this Man or to that and according to the experience they have of themselves in their Earthly affections so they frame an imagination of Heavenly things But there is an incomparable distance between the things which the imperfect ones imagine in their conceits and those which the illuminated ones do see by revelation from above 7. Beware therefore my Son that thou treat not curiously of these things which exceed thy knowledg but rather so apply thy endeavors that thou mayest at least have the meanest place in the Kingdom of Heaven And if any one did know which of the Saints exceed others in sanctity or were greater in the Kingdom of Heaven what would this knowledg avail him unless he should thereby humble himself the more in my sight and should rise up into the greater praising of my name He pleaseth God much better that thinketh of the greatness of his sins and the smalness of his graces and how far off he is from the perfection of the Saints than he that disputeth of their greatness or littleness 8. They are well and right well contented if Men could content themselves and refrain from these vain discourses They glory not of their own merits for they ascribe no good unto themselves but attribute all to me who of my infinite love have given them all things They are filled with so great love of the Divinity and with such an overflowing joy that there is no glory nor happiness that is or can be wanting unto them All the Saints how much the higher they be in glory so much the more humble they are in themselves and nearer and dearer unto me And therefore it is written That they did cast their Crowns before God and fell down upon their face before the Lamb and adored him that liveth for ever and ever 9. Many inquire who is greatest in the Kingdom of God that know not whether they shall ever be numbred there amongst the least It is a great thing to be even the least in Heaven where all are great for that all there shall be called and shall be indeed the Sons of God The least shall become a Thousand and the sinner of an Hundred years shall die For when the Disciples asked who should be greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven they received this answer Unless you be converted and be come as little Children you shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little Child the same is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven 10. Wo be unto them that disdain to humble themselves willingly with little Children For the low gate of the Kingdom of Heaven will not give them entrance And wo be to the rich that have their comforts here for whilest the poor enter into the Kingdom of God they shall stand lamenting without Rejoyce you that be humble and you that be poor be you glad for yours is the Kingdom of God if you walk according to the truth CHAP. LIX That all our hope and trust is to be fixed in God alone CHristian Lord what trust have I in this life Or what is the greatest comfort that all things under Heaven do yield me Is it not thou my Lord God whose mercies are without number Where hath it been well with me without thee Or when could it be ill with me when thou wert present I had rather be poor for thee than rich without thee I rather choose to be a pilgrim on Earth with thee than to possess Heaven without thee Where thou art there is Heaven and there is death and Hell where thou art not Thou art my desire and therefore it behoveth me to sigh and cry and pray unto thee For I have none fully to trust in none that can seasonably help me in my necessities but thee alone my God Thou art my hope thou art my trust thou art my comforter and most faithful unto me in all things 2. All Men seek their own gain thou only seekest my salvation and my profit and turnest all things to my good Although thou exposest me to divers temptations and adversities yet thou orderest all this to my advantage who art wont to try thy beloved ones a Thousand wayes In which trial thou oughtest no
most precious body of Christ 8. O God the invisible Creator of the world how wonderfully dost thou deal with us how sweetly and graciously dost thou dispose of all things with thine elect to whom thou offerest thy self to be received in the Sacrament O this exceedeth all understanding This chiefly draweth the hearts of the religious and inflameth their affections For thy true faithful Servants that dispose their whole life to amendment by this most precious Sacrament oftentimes gain much of the grace of devotion and love of holiness 9. O the admirable and hidden grace of this Sacrament which only the faithful ones of Christ do know but the unbelieving and such as are slaves unto sin cannot have experience thereof In this Sacrament spiritual grace is given and strength which was lost is restored in the soul and the beauty disfigured by sin returneth again This grace is sometimes so great that out of the fulness of devotion which is here given not only the mind but the weak body also feeleth great increase of strength 10. Our coldness and negligence surely is much to be wailed and pittied that we are not drawn with greater affection to receive Christ in whom all the hope and merit of those that are to be saved doth consist For he is our sanctification and redemption he is the comfort of those who are here but travellers and the everlasting fruition of Saints It is much therefore to be lamented that many do so little consider this comfortable mystery which rejoyceth Heaven and preserveth the whole world O the blindness and hardness of Mans heart that doth not more deeply weigh so unspeakable a gift but rather cometh by the daily use thereof to regard it little or nothing 11. For if this most holy Sacrament should be celebrated in one place only and consecrated by one only Minister in the world with how great desires dost thou think would Men be affected to that place and to such a Minister that they might enjoy the celebration of these divine mysteries But now there are many Ministers and Christ is offered in many places that so the grace and love of God to Man may appear so much the greater how much the more this sacred Communion is spread through the world Thanks be unto thee good Jesus the everlasting shepherd that hast vouchsafed to refresh us who are poor and in a state of banishment with thy precious body and blood and to invite us to the receiving of these mysteries with the words of thy own mouth saying Come unto me all ye that labor and are burdened and I will refresh you CHAP. II. That the great goodness and love of God is exhibited to Man in this Sacrament The voice of the Disciple IN confidence of thy goodness and great mercy O Lord being sick I approach unto my Savior being hungry and thirsty to the Fountain of life needy to the King of Heaven a Servant unto my Lord a creature to my Creator being disconsolate I come to thee my merciful comforter But whence is this to me that thou vouch-safest to come unto me Who am I that thou shouldest give thy self unto me How dare a sinner appear before thee And how is it that thou dost vouchsafe to come unto a sinner Thou knowest thy Servant and seest that he hath no good thing in him for which thou shouldest bestow this favor upon him I confess therefore my unworthiness and I acknowledg thy goodness I praise thy mercy and give thee thanks for this thy transcendent love For thou dost this for thine own sake not for any merits of mine to the end that thy goodness may be better known unto me thy love more abundantly shewed and thy gracious condescension may be the more eminently set forth Since therefore it is thy pleasure and thou hast commanded that it should be so this thy favor is also dearly pleasing to me and I wish that my sins may be no hindrance herein 2. O most sweet and benign Jesus how great reverence and thanks together with perpetual praise is due unto thee for the receiving of thy sacred body whose preciousness no Man is able to express But what shall I think of at this Communion now that I am to approach unto my Lord whom I am not able duly to honor and yet I desire to receive him with devotion What can I think better and more profitable than to humble my self wholly before thee and to exalt thy infinite goodness above me I praise thee my God and will exalt thee for ever and I do despise and submit my self unto thee in a deep sense of my own unworthiness 3. Behold thou art the Holy of Holies and I the skum of sinners Behold thou inclinest unto me who am not worthy so much as to look up unto thee Behold thou comest unto me It is thy will to be with me thou invitest me to thy banquet Thou wilt give me the food of Heaven and bread of Angels to eat which is no other indeed than thy self the living bread that descendest from Heaven and givest life unto the world world 4. Behold from whence doth this love proceed What a gracious condescension of thine appeareth herein How great thanks and praises are due unto thee for these benefits O how good and profitable was thy councel when thou ordainedst it How sweet and pleasant the banquet when thou gavest thy self to be our food How wonderful is this thy doing O Lord how mighty is thy power how unspeakable is thy truth For thou sayest the word and all things were made and this was done which thou commandest 5. A thing of great admiration that thou my Lord God true God and Man shouldest be exhibited unto us by the Elements of Bread and Wine Thou who art the Lord of all things and standest in need of none had pleased to dwell in us by means of this thy Sacrament preserve my heart and body unspotted that with a chearful and pure conscience I may often celebrate thy mysteries and receive them to my everlasting health which thou hast chiefly ordained and instituted for thy honor and for a perpetual memorial 6. Rejoyce O my soul and give thanks unto God for so noble a gift and so singular a comfort left unto thee in this vale of tears For as often as thou callest to mind this mystery and receivest the body of Christ so often dost thou remember the work of thy redemption and art made partaker of all the merits of Christ. For the love of Christ is never diminished and the greatness of his propitiation is never exhausted Therefore thou oughtest always to dispose thy self hereunto by a fresh renewing of thy mind and to weigh with attentive consideration this great mystery of thy salvation So great new and joyful it ought to seem unto thee when thou comest to these holy mysteries as if the same day Christ first descending into the womb of the Virgin were become Man or hanging on the
Cross did suffer and die for salvation of Mankind CHAP. III. That it is profitable to communicate often The voice of the Disciple BEhold O Lord I come unto thee that I may be comforted in thy gift and be delighted in thy holy banquet which thou O God hast prepared in thy goodness for the poor Behold in thee is all whatsoever I can or ought to desire thou art my salvation and my redemption my hope and my strength my honor and my glory make joyful therefore this day the soul of thy Servant for that I have lifted it up to thee O Lord Jesus I desire to receive thee now with devotion and reverence I do long to bring thee into my house that with Zacheus I may obtain to be blessed by thee and to be numbred amongst the Children of Abraham My soul thirsteth to receive thy body my heart desireth to be united with thee 2. Give thy self to me and it sufficeth for besides thee no comfort is available I cannot be without thee nor live without thy visitation And therefore I must often come unto thee and receive thee for the welfare of my soul lest perhaps I faint in the way if I be deprived of thy Heavenly food For so most merciful Jesus thou once didst say preaching to the people and curing sundry diseases I will not send them home fasting lest they faint in the way Deal thou therefore in like manner now with me who hast vouchsafed to leave thy self in the Sacrament for the comfort of the faithful For thou art the sweet refection of the soul and he that eateth thee worthily shall be partaker and heir of everlasting glory It is necessary for me that do often fall and sin and so quickly wax dull and faint that by frequent prayer and confession and receiving of thy holy body I renew cleanse and inflame my self lest perhaps by long abstaining I should fall from my holy purpose 3. For the imaginations of Man are prone unto evil from his youth and unless some divine remedy help him he quickly slideth to worse This holy Communion therefore draweth back from evil and strengtheneth in good For if I be now so often slack and cold when I communicate or celebrate what would become of me if I received not this remedy and sought not after so great an help Though every day I be not fit nor well prepared to communicate I will endeavor notwithstanding at due times to receive the divine mysteries and to be partaker of so great a grace For this is one chief comfort of a faithful soul whilest she wandreth from thee in this mortal body that being often mindful of her God she receive her beloved with a devout mind 4. O the wonderful condescent of thy mercy towards us that thou O Lord God the Creator and giver of life to all spirits dost vouchsafe to come unto a poor soul and with thy whole Deity and Humanity to replenish her hunger O happy mind and blessed soul that obtains to receive thee her Lord God with devout affection and in receiving of thee to be filled with spiritual joy O how great a Lord doth she entertain How beloved a guest doth she harbor How pleasant a companion doth she receive How faithful a friend doth she take in How lovely and noble a spouse doth she embrace She embraceth him who is to be loved above all that is beloved and above all things that may be desired Let Heaven and Earth and all their furniture be silent in thy presence for what praise and beauty soever they have it is received from thy bounty and shall not equal the beauty of thy Name whose wisdom is infinite CHAP. IV. That many benefits are bestowed upon them that communicate devoutly The voice of the Disciple MY Lord God prevent thy Servant with the blessings of thy sweetness that I may approach worthily and devoutly to thy glorious Sacrament stir up my heart unto thee and deliver me from all dulness visit me with thy salvation that I may taste in spirit thy sweetness which plentifully lieth hid in this Sacrament as in a fountain Enlighten also my eyes to behold so great a mystery and strengthen me to believe it with undoubted faith For it is thy work and not Mans power thy sacred institution not Mans invention For no Man is of himself able to comprehend and understand these things which surpass the understanding even of Angels What therefore shall I unworthy sinner dust and ashes be able to search and comprehend of so high and sacred a mystery 2. O Lord in the simplicity of my heart with a good and firm faith and at thy commandment I come unto thee with hope and reverence and do truly believe that thou art present in the Sacrament Thy will is that I receive thee and that by love I unite my self unto thee Wherefore I implore thy mercy and do crave thy special grace to the end I may wholly melt and flow over with love unto thee and hereafter never harbor any external comfort For this most high and worthy Sacrament is the health of the soul and body the remedy of all spiritual weakness hereby my vices are cured my passions bridled temptations overcome or weakned greater grace is infused virtue begun increased faith confirmed hope strengthened and love inflamed and enlarged 3. For thou hast bestowed and still oftentimes dost bestow many benefits in this Sacrament upon thy beloved ones that communicate devoutly O my God the Protector of my soul the strengthner of humane frailty and the giver of all inward comfort Thou impartest unto them much comfort against sundry tribulations and liftest them up from the depth of their own dejectedness to hope in thy protection and dost inwardly refresh and illustrate them with new grace so that they who before Communion felt themselves heavy and indisposed afterwards being refreshed with Heavenly meat and drink do find in themselves a great change to the better And in such a way of dispensation thou dealest with thy elect that they may truly acknowledg and patiently prove how great their own infirmity is and what goodness and grace they receive from thee For they of themselves are cold dull and undevout but by thee they are made fervent chearful and full of devotion For who is there that approaching humbly unto the fountain of sweetness doth not carry away from thence at least some little sweetness Or who standing by a great fire receiveth not some small heat thereby Thou art a fountain always full and overflowing a fire ever burning and never decaying 4. Wherefore if I cannot draw out of the full fountain it self nor drink my fill I will notwithstanding set my lips to the mouth of this Heavenly conduit that I may draw from thence at least some small drop to refresh my thirst that so I may not be wholly dried up And though I be not altogether Heavenly nor so inflamed as the Cherubins and Seraphins notwithstanding I will