vouchsafe to die for the loue of me Wherefore haue the sparks of my loue lien so long couered in the embers Or rather why are they almost extinguished Oh what seuere punishment should I take of my selfe for my monstrous ingratitude How is my tongue able to vtter one word yea one sillable of a word to excuse the coldnesse of my loue How may I blush nay how may my face be confounded with shame vvhich am so vvayward and vnwilling to suffer any little affliction for thy sake who endured so many extreame torments for my sinne I lie on feather-beds couered vvarme vvith cloathes and thou didst lie naked nailed to a woodden Crosse and that in the time of colde weather vvhen others doe vvarme themselues at a fire If my head begin to ake I lay it downe vpon a soft pillow to ease my paine lessen my griefe But thou oh my louing Lord hast not so much as a bolster of straw vvhereon thou mightest lay thy dying head pierced with sharpe thornes and bleeding vvith many wounds When I am sicke my friends about mee bestirre themselues to ease my diseased body and to reuiue my fainting spirits But alas my sweet Sauiour there vvas none about thee at the houre of thy pittifull and painefull death vvhich vvould proffer thee any kinde deede no not so much as a comfortable word They offer thee bitter vvine mixed with mirrhe and mingled with Gall. But although thy thirst was great caused by the extremitie of thy paines and immoderate effusion of thy blood yet vvhen thou hadst tasted of it thou didst refuse to drinke of their bitter potion How hard were their harts yea how dead without any feeling of common compassion that could giue vnto my sweet Sauiour no better then such a bitter Potion Such was the succour that they would afford thee at the houre of thy death This was the best Cordiall they would giue thee a little before the parting of thy breath What iust occasion hadst thou my mercifull Redeemer yea what admirable patience hadst thou that thou didst not bitterly inueigh against the bloudie Gentiles and vnbeleeuing Iewes who were so maliciously madded and bloudily minded against thee that all vvhich they sought and all which they wrought was to augment thy sorrow But whilst their hearts were inflamed with malice against thee and their hands labouring to crucifie thee thou wert so farre from accusing them for their sauadge cruelty that thou didst pray vnto thy heauenly Father that hee would remit and forgiue their iniquity saying Father pardon them because they know not what they doe Luk. 23.34 And this oh my sweet Christ vvas the first vvords vvhich thou spakest vpon thy bitter Crosse Indeede they knew thee not for their eyes were blinded that they could not see and their hearts were hardned that they could not vnderstand Heere maist thou meditate oh my soule with exceeding comfort vpon the wonderfull patience admirable mercy sweet words of thy louing Sauiour who was not so much grieued with paine of his owne afflictions as hee was earnest to pray for the remission of their sinnes Hee did not once open his mouth to make any iust Apologie for his owne innocencie nor to denounce any deserued malediction No not one bitter vvord against them for their dogged cruelty But in the extremest pangs of his bitter Passion his tender heart was moued vvith pittifull compassion towards them he opened the fountaine of his mercy that the sweet streames of his Benediction might flow vpon them Hee blessed them that cursed him hee shewed them a true token of his entire loue for their cruell hate he prayed for them as if they had been his dearest friends when indeed they were his deadly foes How should my feeble tongue like a trumpet oh my bountifull Iesu sound forth the wonderfull worthinesse of thy surmounting mercy How should mine vnable and barren hart conceiue the dignitie of thine vncomparable meeknesse How should the weake sight of my darke vnderstanding pierce into the hidden mysteries of thy gratious mildnesse vvhich surpasseth all vnderstanding How affable and ineffable is the sweetnesse of thy charitable prayer how bottomlesse is the depth of thy clemencie how vnexhaustible is the treasure of thy benignitie How large and spacious yea how infinit are the bounds of thy mercie For with what tranquility of minde with what piety and pittie of heart with what sweet milde and perswasiue words didst thou sue for their pardon vvho now were breathing out nothing else but curses against thee vvith their malicious tongues and euen now acting the extremity of their Tyrannie against thee with their bloudie hands Thou wert not discouraged by their iniuries thou wert not hardned with their reproches thou didst not rebuke them for their euill words thou didst not check them for their wicked deeds thou didst seeke to salue their soares who gaue thee deadly wounds thou diddest make intercession for their life who cruelly put thee to death thou wert full of pitty towards them whose hearts were empty of all compassion towards thee Oh with what wonderfull mildnes of mind with what great deuotion of spirit in what abundance of loue didst thou cry Father forgiue them Oh wonderfull worke of thy worthy mercy oh rare and memorable example of exceeding pitty oh perfect patterne of excellent charity oh let me poore wretched sinner taste the sweetnes of this hony reuiue my dying heart with this cordiall compassion relieue my sicke soule with this comfortable confection Cry out so for me my sweet Lord and kinde Mediator commend my wofull case and pleade my cause vnto thy Father saying Father forgiue him For in truth I know not what I do loue of the world hath blinded mine eyes desire of carnall pleasures is rooted in my heart and all manner of wanton vanities are rife in my minde I runne headlong in the broad way of destruction I cannot finde the narrow path which leadeth to Saluation Open mine eyes oh Lord that I may see to walke in thy wayes and direct my feet that I may tread in thy pathes Teach mee to follow the patterne of thy excellent patience so that I may not wish well onely to my dearest friends which dearely loue mee but also pray for my cruell enemies who deadly hate mee But alas how soone am I displeased how long is it before I will forgiue if I be once offended I am prone with enuious Cain to stain my hands with horrible murder I long for a day with rough Esau wherein I may slay my innocent brother I oftentimes fall out with my friend for a crosse word so that oftentimes in requitall I seeke to doe him a mischieuous deed I thinke my selfe the worse when I see him Oh how doe I disdaine to speake vnto him Teach mee to learne this hard lesson of patience purge the seed of malice out of my mind mellow the ground of my heart vvith the deaw of thy graces that it may not onely be
sauage cruelty without mercy so their words and speeches were vnciuil void of all modesty Some cry out He saued others let him saue himselfe if he be the Sonne of God the Souldiers disdainfully deride him and scornfully mocke him saying If thou be king of the Iewes saue thy selfe Also they that passe by nod their heads at him reuile him bitterly and blaspheme him saying Ah thou which doest destroy the Temple of God and in three dayes dost build it againe saue thy selfe If thou be the Sonne of God come downe from the Crosse Oh how cruelly was my innocent Sauiour tormented with their vnmercifull hands oh how was his righteous soule woūded with their malicious tongues their words do sauour of Gall and their speech is more bitter then wormwood But so great was their malice so grieuous was their indignation so deadly was their hatred against my louing Iesus that they thought all their cruell deeds were too litle to be inflicted vpon him and that all their words were not halfe bitter enough which their venemous mouthes did spue out against him But as my blessed Redeemer did patiently suffer the extreame tortures of their merciles hands so hee did meekely beare the bitter taunts of their reuiling tongues Oh let the memory of this thy exceeding patience bee so deepely sealed in my minde that my thoughts may stil meditate on thy infinite loue let my teares often flowing out of my eyes be true tokens of my inward sorrow and let my grieuous groanes be as faithfull messengers to declare my true repentance For it was my horrible transgressions and hainous offences my kinde and louing Sauiour that made thee to abide the tyranny of their bloody and murthering hands and to feele the sting of their sharpe and malicious tongues But alas mine eyes are so dry that they cannot shed a teare and my heart so hard that it cannot yeeld a groane vnlesse thou moysten the one with the gratious raine of thy graces and mollifie the other by the vertue of thy spirit Now not onely the irreligious Gentiles who were actors of this bloody Tragedy and the enuious Iewes who were authors and Spectators of all their cruelty did disgorge the bitter choller of their malice against my crucified Iesus but also one of the malefactors hauing no remorse of conscience for his owne offences nor pitty on my Sauiour so grieuously taunted and spightfully scorned of the basest of the people began to raile vpon him without modestie to vse these tearmes against him full of vile indignitie If thou art Christ saue thy selfe and vs Luke 23.39 But his other fellow touched with sorrow for his sinnes and freely confessing that they had both worthily deserued did iustly suffer death for their transgressions began to reprehend him for his blasphemous impietie and to iustifie my Iesus for his blamelesse innocency And when he had rebuked his fellow for such great inhumanity he turned to my Sauiour to implore his mercy that he might be made partaker of the ioyes of his heauenly Kingdome vttering this short and sweet prayer Lord remember me when thou commest into thy Kingdome And hee had scant ended his short petition but my mercifull Sauiour made him this gratious answere Verely I say vnto thee this day thou shalt be with mee in Paradise Luke 23.43 But now let vs consider oh my soule with deuout attention and behold with attentiue deuotion what riches of infinite bounty what large promises of vnmeasurable liberalitie what a blessed inheritance my bountifull redeemer doth promise vnto this poore naked and true though late repenting sinner How might this blessed promise mittigate the sorrowes Oh thou sorrowfull sinner of thy perplexed minde How might it ease the soares of thine afflicted body for as faith bred in thy heart a true contrition and opened thy mouth to make that humble petition so no doubt it sealed such an assurance vnto thy wounded conscience that thou didst stedfastly beleeue his promise and faithfully looke for the performance But how may my speech extend it selfe to the length of thy boundlesse liberalitie my most liberall Redeemer How may my words measure the bredth of thy vnlimited mercy yea how can my thoughts sound the bottomlesse Sea of thy benignitie in thy first words vttered on the Crosse thou doest pray thy Father to forgiue thy cruell tormentors and in thy second words thou doest bountifully giue Paradice vnto a sorrowfull sinner Oh who can worthily estimate the dignitie of the gift who can sufficiently extol the bounty of the giuer although my sweet Iesu thy whole life was the merit of our saluation yet at thy bitter death thou didst pay the full price of our redemption Oh happy theefe that had such a sweet tast of thy mercy Oh blessed soule that wert made partaker of such infinite bounty Oh what great graces excellent vertues were infused into thee that thou didst beleeue my Iesus to be the true Son of God thy Creator whom thou didst see to die the death of a miserable creature As thy faults were intollerable in thy dissolute life so thy faith appeareth admirable at thy sorrowfull death For what but faith was the motiue to moue thee to sue to him to be remembred in his kingdome of eternall felicity who to thy outward eyes appeared nothing else but a spectacle of wofull misery and as thy confidence was great and thy loue much so thy Iesus doth speedily assure thee to enioy a bountifull reward Therefore I pray thee my most bountifull Iesu so to inspire my minde with thy grace and so to kindle thy loue in my brest that I may be contented to be crucified with thee here vpon earth that I may be receiued by thee into thy kingdome of heauen And grant that I may so truly lament for my trespasses and shed such bitter teares for my sins that I may faithfully say with this penitent theefe Lord remember mee when thou shalt come into thy Kingdome For I confesse O Lord I haue beene no better then a Theefe for I haue robbed thee of thy honor I haue bene vntrue vnto thee concerning thy glory My lips are defiled with lying my hands haue wrought the workes of deceipt I haue often beguiled the widdow and defrauded the Orphane I haue sought to make my selfe rich by oppression I haue beene disobedient to my gouernours and would not liue vnder their lawfull subiection Oh Lord remember not my great and grieuous offences let thy mercy blot them out of thy memory that they may not be laid against me when I shall be summoned to appeare before thee Remember me according to the multitude of thy mercies as thou didst this late-repenting malefactor whom thou hast left vnto mee as one rare example of thy infinite mercy that I should not dispaire in regard of thy iustice and that I should not presume to sin in respect of thy mercie Oh let me remember this rare example of thy extraordinary goodnesse so that I may
wholy depresse thee which art willingly tumbled into the filthy Mire of infernall stincke and hellish sauours bee thou ouerwhelmed vvith the horrible darkenesse of comfortles and in consolable sorrow which hast wittingly cast thy selfe downe into a gulfe of such beastly and luxurious pleasures Wallow thou in the whirepoole of bitternesse which hast sported and delighted thy selfe in the puddle of lasciuious filthines Oh yee horrible terrour terrible sorrow vncomfortable mourning muster your selues against mee assault ouerwhelme vexe couer trample vpon me It is iust it is iust my wicked deeds haue deserued it I haue with impudent boldnesse disdained and contemned your forces and with shamefull sensuality haue procured your displeasure yea rather I haue prouoked God and not you and now with lamentable repentance I desire you to poure your full measure of vengeance vpon me Torment and torture the guilty that my soueraigne Lord may be auenged whom I haue so highly offended Let the vitious Fornicatour feele before hand the Torments of Hell which hee hath deserued let him taste before hand that which hee hath prepared let him haue some smacke of those tormenting pangs and passions which hee shall abide and suffer hereafter Extend and augment thou immoderate and vnsatiable sinner thy sorrowfull and dolefull repentance vvhich hast so farre enlarged the leprous vncleannesse of thy odious and detestable vices Tumble thy selfe and throw thy selfe againe into the vvhirle poole of ceaslesse sorrow bitternesse and dolefull distresses vvhich hast so oft throwne downe thy selfe into the filthy pit of thy lustfull desires and carnall pleasures Consolation securitie delightfull pleasure and ioy doe yee now no more approach neere vnto mee I hate and loath your delectable company vnlesse pardon of my sinne shall reconcile and restore you Let heauy pensiuenesse and bitter mourning bee still at hand like cruell Tormentors and bloudy executioners to vexe mee in my growing youth and to trouble mee in my vvearisome age VVould to God vvould to God it may be so I vvish pray desire it may be so If I bee not vvorthy to list vp my eyes towards HEAVEN when I put vp my humble supplication truly I am not vnworthy to obscure them and to put out their light vvith the streames and fountaine of teares and lamentable vveeping If my minde bee confounded with great shamefulnes of my guiltie Conscience that it cannot pray and craue for mercy it is meet that it should bee ouerwhelmed with the tempest of exceeding sorrow and dolefull sadnesse If it feare to come in the sight of God grieuously offended it is iust that the vnsufferable torments prepared for rebellious sinners should alwayes appeare and be presented before it Therefore let my heart thinke and thinke againe what hainous treason it hath committed what endles torments it hath deserued Let my vnderstanding descend into itselfe make a priuie search in euery corner before it goe downe into the land of darkenes which death obscureth with his grosse and mistie vapours and meditate who doth attend and wait there for my wicked soule let it behold and view see and be troubled What is it oh God what is it which I behold in the Land of misery and darkenesse Horror Horror What is it which I doe view where no order but wofull confusion inhabiteth Woful are the out-cries of some howling out with lamentable voyces Wofull is the noyse of others gnashing their teeth tortured with intollerable torments Lamentable is the sight of the confused multitude sobbing and sighing out woe woe How many and how many woes Woe for that fire which burneth with brimstone whose flame is neuer extinguished and wofull is that obscure and darke Dungeon where there dwelleth euerlasting darkenesse With what terrible roaring doe I see you oh Wormes tossed and turned about liuing in that flaming fire which continualy burneth What direfull and greedy desire doth inflame you to returne out of it whom yet that fire of fires cannot so burne as that euer yee shall be consumed Oh yee Deuils burning together with them roaring vvith burning and raging with fury wherefore are yee so terrible and cruell to them which are tumbled and rowled vp and downe among you Oh torments intollerable Oh extreame sentence of Iustice insupportable shall no meane no remedy no end mittigate or asswage you Are these the things oh great and powerfull God which are prepared for filthy Fornicators and wicked contemners of thee of which I am one I I am verily one of those Oh my soule tremble thou with terrour faint and faile thou my vnderstanding with quaking feare and thou oh my heart cut and wound thy selfe with immoderate sorrow Whither doe yee hale and tog maye cruell tormentors while you execute your fury and wrath against mee for my great and grieuous offences Whither dost thou deliuer mee oh my sinne Whither dost thou deliuer me oh my God whither dost thou deliuer me If I haue effected by my hainous and detestable rebellions that I should be thy guilty offendor could I also bring it to passe that I should not bee thy Creature If I haue robbed my selfe of my chastitie haue I also robbed thee of thy Mercy Oh Lord Lord if I haue lost that for vvant whereof thou mayest condemne mee a grieuous offender hast thou also lost that whereby thou art wont to saue a penitent sinner Doe not Oh LORD doe not so narrowly attend to my vvickednesse that thou forget thy vvonted goodnesse Where is it true oh true GOD vvhere is As I liue I will not the death of a sinner but rather that he be conuerted and liue Oh Lord thou vvhich doest not lye Lord what is I will not the death of a sinner If thou doest burie in Hell a sinner which crieth vnto thee or is it to throw a sinner into the Lake of neuer-ceasing Torments I will not the death of a sinner Or is this I will that a sinner be conuerted and liue I am a sinner oh Lord I am a sinner If therefore thou wilt not the death of a sinner what doth compell thee which thou wouldest not that thou deliuerest mee to death and destruction If thou vvilt that a sinner be conuerted and liue vvhat doth let thee to performe that which thou willest namely that I be conuerted liue and be saued If the enormitie of my sinne doth constraine mee to doe that vvhich thou hatest doth it also hinder thee to doe that vvhich thou desirest when as thou art a God omnipotent Farre be it oh God farre be it oh Lord my God that the wickednesse of a repenting and lamenting Sinner should preuaile more then the sentence the Omnipotent Remember oh iust holy and mercifull God that thou art mercifull and also my Creator and Recreator Therefore good Lord remember not thy Iustice against thy sinner but remember thy vvonted clemencie towards thy poore creature Remember not thy anger against a guiltie offender but be mindfull of thy accustomed commiseration and mercie towards a miserable sinner
downe and consorted vvith the sonnes of darkenesse Why hast thou refused sweet Hony to feed on Gall and wholesome food to cloy thy stomacke with stincking dung At that time oh sweet Christ thy Family was cleared thy Houshold purged when such a leaprous person and deadly diseased creature went out into the world from the company of the Angels societie For then at last were the thirsty soules of that blessed company plentifully filled with sweet flowing streames of thy Diuine Word and vvith the most pleasant liquor of thy true celestiall Nectar which thou art alwayes able and euermore willing to giue vnto thy faithfull Seruants when hee was worthily cast out from thy most holy and blessed Family whom thou didst know to be vnworthy to taste one drop of that liuing water which quencheth the thirst of all sinfull soules for euer when thou of thy free loue dost afford them to drinke of that blessed Fountaine be their thirst neuer so great or the people neuer so many which resort to receiue refreshing by it SECTION X. NOW when thou hadst giuen a new Commaundement to thy louing Disciples that they should knit their hearts together with the true vnion of perfect loue Iohn 13.34 and arme themselues with patience against the approaching day of their fiery triall and also hadst disposed the kingdome of thy heauenly Father to thy faithfull Brethren thou cammest to the place with them well knowne vnto couetous Iudas that Traitour which did betray thee into the hands of the cruell Iewes who were as greedy to buy as he was couetous to sell thy innocent and precious bloud Yet thou diddest not audaciously obiect thy selfe vnto suddaine danger or desperately throw thy selfe into perill but thou wert willing to offer and lay downe thy owne life to deliuer vs poore condemned vassals from the heauy doome of eternall death knowing all things which should come vpon thee Iohn 18.4 Oh vnsearchable profundity of thy infinite loue Oh glorious beames of thy gracious mercy For like a tender-hearted Father thou haddest willingly cast thy selfe into suddaine danger to haue deliuered thy Children from some imminent perill or if thou haddest aduentured thy life to haue rescued thy friends from threatned death this without doubt had beene a deed of true naturall affection and excellent loue But that thou shouldest of thine owne accord offer thy selfe to death to saue thy deadly enemies and willingly shed thy bloud to ransome thy mortall foes This oh sweet Sauiour is a miracle of superadmirable kindenesse beyond the compasse of all vnderstanding SECTION XI VVHen thou wert come to the place where wretched Iudas had bargained to betray thee into the hands of the wicked Iewes thou wert not ashamed to confesse the heauy pangs which thou didst sustaine by thy approaching Passion in the audience of thy Brethren which thou wert willing to endure not for thy owne desert but by thy owne desire for our sakes and our sins saying My Soule is heauy euen vnto death Mat. 26.38 So ponderous was the burden of our iniquities so heauy was the weight of mine yea of all our sins layd vpon thy shoulders And there bowing thy knees on the ground and falling downe with thy face on the earth thou diddest in thy bitter agonie offer vp thy humble petition to God thy Father saying My Father if it be possible let this Cup passe from me Matth. 26.39 Indeed that Cup contained a deepe draught to be taken of thee for the health of our languishing soules more bitter then Colloquintida to the mouth or Gall in the maw And no doubt but the bloody sweat which trickled downe on the earth by drops from thy most holy flesh did plainely declare the sorrowes of thy perplexed minde and the anguish of thy sorrowfull Soule Luke 22.44 Oh powerfull Lord Iesus what meaneth or what is the cause of thy lamentable supplication Didst thou not wholly of thine owne accord offer vp thy selfe for a Sacrifice to thy Father and willingly shed thy bloud to pay the price of our ransome Yes verely oh gracious Lord it was thy exceeding great loue and onely mercy that did moue thee so patiently to vnder-goe the wrath of thy Father that thou mightest deliuer vs condemned sinners from his iust and heauy displeasure that by thy stripes wee might be healed and that by thy free and voluntary death wee might be restored to a second and euerlasting life But we thinke that thou didst willingly taste the bitternesse of our miseries and in thy selfe expresse vnto vs a true passion of our weakenesse for the comfort and consolation of all thy feeling members that no man might dispaire or let goe the Anchor of stedfast Hope when our weake flesh fainteth and our naturall faculties faileth but yet the spirit is ready to abide the painefull pangs of any passion and to suffer the conflicts of any affliction whatsoeuer Truly thou didst expresse the naturall weakenesse of the flesh in thy selfe by those tokens vnto vs that wee might the sooner be prouoked to embrace thee with more loue and gratefully to yeeld thee greater thanks Whereby also we are taught that thou didst truly beare our diseases and infirmities and that thou hast not runne through the thornes of grieuous passions vvithout the sense of painefull afflictions For that voyce seemeth to be the voice of the flesh not of the Spirit by that which thou hast added The Spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weake Marke 14.38 And thou diddest openly declare that the Spirit was willing to suffer the deadly pangs of thy grieuous passion when thou diddest goe forth of thine owne accord to meete those bloudy minded persons conducted by their damnable General trayterous Iudas in the night time furnished with lanternes torches and weapons seeking without any cause raging vvith malice to destroy thy harmelesse life and cruelly to shed thy innocent blood and there didst openly discouer thy selfe to their eyes and offer vp thy selfe to their bloudy hands least they might thinke themselues beholding to their bloudy guide and that by his craftie pollicie thou hadst beene suddainely and vnwillingly apprehended For thou diddest not repell or put backe that cruell monster comming to kisse thy most holy mouth but diddest gently put thy mouth in which there was found no guile to his mouth abounding with venome and filled with malice who vnder token of loue pretended nothing but deadly hate and with a dissembling kisse to betray thee into the hands of those who were ready armed to kill thee And although desperate Iudas became his owne hangman Mat. 27.5 yet many doe follow his steps and desperately runne to their wilfull wofull destruction Oh innocent Lambe of GOD how couldest thou endure that such a rauenous Wolfe should come neere vnto thee that came so greedily to deuoure thee What fellowship hath light with darkenesse What agreement hast thou with Beliall But this oh Lord was a deed of thy gracious benignitie and an act of thy exceeding
my bosome that being dead he may be carried out to his graue that my soule may be infected no longer vvith his carnall impietie and that I may no longer wilfully loue but willingly loath and for euer leaue his damnable company But now oh my sorrowfull soule turne thine eyes towards thy crucified Iesus meditate seriously in thy minde let it be the perpetuall matter of thy thoughts to thinke how thy louing Sauiour was most pittifully martyred and cruelly mangled tortured vvithout any pittie scorned at his death vvith vile indignitie and thought vnworthy of any mercy or kinde humanity that thou mayest mourne for thy sinnes in the morning and repent for thy misdeeds in the euening vvhich were hard-hearted and bloudie-handed executioners to crucifie thy innocent Iesus Crie out oh my vvretched and vvicked soule trembling at the vgly sight of thy grieuous sinnes and troubled vvith the horrour of thy guiltie conscience Cry out saying Oh my sweet Iesu oh my milde and mercifull Iesu how exceeding painefull are the pangs of thy Passion how violent are the streames of thy afflictions how cruelly is thy body wounded and thy soule pressed vvith the heauie vveight of my sinnes Oh how horrible how detestable how innumerable are my transgressions that tormented my Sauiour vvith so many heauie afflictions What a deere price didst thou pay for my Redemption At what a high rate hast thou bought me a most wretched sinner no summes of gold had it beene neuer so much no heapes of siluer had they beene neuer so great could rid mee out of Captiuitie It vvas onely thy pretious bloud that might pay the price of my ransome It was onely thy innocent death that vvas sufficient to purchase my freedome How is the naked body of my louing Redeemer and kinde Reconciler stretched out vpon the Crosse to deliuer mee from the bitter curse vvhich vvas due vnto me for my monstrous impiety and the execution of it readie to be serued vpon me for my intollerable iniquitie How firme are thy harmelesse hands fixed vnto thy Crosse how hard are thy innocent feete nayled vnto it Thou hast onely liberty to moue but Alas no where to lay downe thy weake and vvearie head Thou liest naked obiected to the blasts of the vvinde and storme of the weather thou hast no cloathes to keepe thee warme thou hast no shelter to keepe thee from harme Thou wert poore indeed at thy birth but now thou art more poore at thy death for at thy birth thou hadst a Stable for thy Chamber and a Manger for thy Cradle thou hadst swathling cloathes although they vvere course that might defend thee from colde and cherish thy tender body But at thy death thou art cruelly robbed of all thy garments thou hast not so much as a ragge to lay vpon thee the sharpnesse of the aire nippeth thy skin the furie of the windes stormeth against thy naked body thou hast no roofe to couer thy head from the blustering windes thou hast no place of harbour to protect thy body from the stormie weather Oh how hard is the bed thou liest vpon at the houre of thy death How hard is the pillow that lieth vnder thy head when thou art readie to yeeld vp thy breath How is thy blessed body debased by wretched men heere vpon the earth which is so highly honoured by the Angels in Heauen Oh how should my heart faint vvith bleeding vvounds of sorrow for my sinnes How should mine eies make my bed to flote with a flood of teares when I begin to call to an audit my hainous trespasses and to cast vp the infinit summes of my transgressions which caused my Lord to passe through such a great Campe of miseries and to abide the bitter brunts of so many calamities for vvhat hadst thou done oh my most sweet Lord what hadst thou done that thou should be so spitefully despised so maliciously martired so extreamely tortured and so cruelly tormented What wicked action had thy pure hands committed nay what good deed had they omitted that they should be so pittifully wounded How had thy innocent feet transgressed that they should be so seuerely punished How had any little particle of thy blessed body offended that it should be so grieuously tormented Truly thy deeds my blessed Sauiour were alwaies acted vvith integritie and thy words did vtter nothing but truth and sinceritie thy hands were alwaies cleane from sinfull actions thy heart vvas alwaies pure from vvicked cogitations It vvas thy meruailous loue thy miraculous mercie thine vnspeakeable pittie that did induce thee to suffer those torments vvhich were due vnto me for mine offences It was I my sweet Sauiour it was I my selfe that had so grieuously sinned It was thy wonderfull charitie it was thy charitable mercy to shed thy pretious bloud to cure the desperate disease of my deadly miserie But such oh such and so vile is the horrible ingratitude of my minde such and so great is the dulnesse of my memorie such and so hard is the stupiditie of my hart that I am vnthankfull for thy mercy forgetfull of thy bounty senselesse without any compassion yea quite colde without any zealous meditation of thy grieuous Passion Haue mercy vpon mee oh my most mercifull Lord haue mercie vpon mee Oh let the sweet dew of thy infinite mercie distill downe vpon my head yea rather let it bee infused into my heart that it may mollifie the hardnesse of mine affections moisten the drinesse of my bowels and fructifie my minde with the fruits of thy loue because I cannot yea rather because I am vnwilling to suffer vvith thee and loue thee so little vvho hath alwaies loued mee so much for I freely confesse I haue no sense of thy innarrable and innumerable sorrowes which thou didst suffer for the multitude of my sinnes Alas mine eyes are dry without teares my kinde Iesu my heart is so dead that it cannot breath forth any heauie groanes mine affections are starke colde without any heate of true deuotion so often yea rather so seldom as I enter into a meditation of thy bitter Passion and ruminate thy tedious paines and terrible pangs vvhich thou didst feele in thy most pretious body to reuerse the sentence of damnation pronounced against me for my sinnes and to purchase a gratious pardon for my condemned soule But pardon me forgiue me my most mercifull Lord I haue a hart of Iron my bowels are more hard then Marble vnlesse thou mollifie them they are vnapt to receiue any print of thy mercie or any impression of thy grace Take away from mee I pray thee my stonie heart giue mee a fleshie and tender heart that may be vvounded vvith the thornes of sorrowe for my rebellious thoughts yeeld forth dolefull groanes for my grieuous sins and bleed vvith the vvounds of compunction when my minde doth meditate on thy heauy Passion Oh why should not my heart my vvretched heart be pinched with some paine for the loue of thee vvhich didst vvillingly
exception Oh how bitter was the malice how horrible was the enuie how blinde were the eyes how bloody were the hearts of the cruell Iewes to crucifie my deare Sonne my innocent Iesus how dolefull is it to mine eyes and dolorous to my heart to behold thy bright eyes obscured with deadly darknesse thy blessed hand depriued of action and thy beautifull feete senslesse vvithout any motion to see thy cheerefull countenance couered with an ashy palenesse thy skinne blacke and blew with blowes and thy flesh mangled with wounds This spectacle is so wofull that I can no longer behold thee with mine eyes and the waues of sorrow doe ouerflow my heart so fast that they stop my words and stay the current of my mournfull speech Now as Marie Magdalene did behold the blessed body of my Sauiour with his mourning Mother so she did not cease to lament his death who had beene so kinde a Master vnto her in his life What a plentifull streame of teares ran downe her cheekes What a spring of sorrow arose in her heart How did her sorrowfull sighes second her heauie sobs How did her dolefull sobs preuent her lamentable sighes Thinke thou doest see her kisse his senslesse hands thinke thou doest see her kisse his breathlesse feet speaking vnto her louing Master with her trembling voice being dead as if he did heare her and were aliue bathing them with her teares and giuing a little ease to her sore diseased heart by vttering these or the like words with her feeble lips Mary Magdalens lamentation for the losse of her Master Alas my sweet Master alas my most louing Lord the staffe of my stay the onely ioy of my heart the sole comfort of my perplexed spirit Alas for me how comfortlesse doest thou leaue mee how sorrowfull shall I bee by being without thee To whom shall I haue recourse for comfort in the straightnesse of my sorrow To whom shall I goe for succour in time of my trouble How lamentable is the view of thy vvounded head vnto mine eies How grieuous is the view of thy sacred hands and feet vnto my sight pierced with iron-nailes and depriued of sense which I so carefully annoynted bathing them with the teares of mine eies and drying them with the haires of my head Ioh. 11.2 and 12.3 Mat. 26.7 But now alas in stead of odoriferous oyntment they are mangled with wounds and spotted with blood Oh wretched woman oh miserable creature because I am depriued of such a louing and welbeloued Master Where shall I find one who will loue me so deerely and regard me so entierly Thou art hee which diddest often vouchsafe to come into my cottage and to sit downe at my Table and didst vouchsafe to honour my poore house with thy gratious presence when alas I was not able to afford thee any such entertainement as might in any sort requite thy kindenesse or recompence thy loue Iohn 11.28 Oh my most sweet Iesu thou didst defend me from the Pharisie who disdained me for my trespasses and loathed me for my sinnes Thou didst kindely excuse mee speaking in my cause and pleading my case when my sister began to be angry with me and to conceiue displeasure against mee Thou didst commend me when I did annoynt thee with a pretious oyntment washing thy feete with my teares and wiping them with my haire thou didst mittigate my sorrow thou didst remit my sins thou didst kindely aske for mee when I was not present with thee and commanded my sister to call me vnto thee Oh what great and how many demonstrations of thy loue how many tokens of thy kindnesse how many signes of thy charity how many arguments of thy mercie Oh my most sweet Lord hast thou shewed vnto mee vvhat a rich treasure of thy bounty hast thou conferred vpon mee When thou didst see my mourning for the death of my Brother thou didst comfort mee in my sorrow thou didst asswage my griefe thou didst weepe with me such was thy kinde affection towards my louing brother such was thy tender compassion towards mee his sorrowfull sister and thou didst not onely shed teares as signes of thy loue but thou didst raise my dead brother out of his graue for my consolation and restored him to life againe for my comfort Iohn 11.35 Ibidem 43. As nothing was more sweet and pleasant vnto me then to enioy thy blessed company so nothing can be more sowre and sharpe vnto me then want of thy comfortable societie But alas sorrowfull words are too weake a medicine to cure my maladie and although I haue cause to say much yet extreamity of griefe vvill suffer mee to say no more Now thou hast heard oh my soule the lamentation of a tender Mother deploring the death of her Sonne and also the pittifull mourning of a faithfull seruant bewayling the want of him who was her louing Master and bountifull benefactor canst thou be so stonie-hearted that thou art moued with no feeling compassion Is thy heart so hard that it cannot giue a groane Are thine eyes so dry that they vvill not yeeld a teare at the meditation of the death and buriall of thy Sauiour who died for thy sinnes and was slaine for thine iniquities I flie vnto thee my most mercifull Lord that thou maist mollifie and moysten my hard and dry heart with plentifull showres of thy graces turne my head into a spring of water and change mine eyes into a fountaine of teares I know not how to excuse my selfe because I haue beene so vnthankfull for thy benefits so forgetfull of thy mercies and so vnkinde vnto thee for thy loue What shall I say but woe and alas for me a most wretched and wicked sinner Who can measure the quantity of mine infelicitie Who can describe the horrour of my miserie Who can quiet the troubles of my minde Who can pacifie my troubled conscience because my hard heart hath not beene touched with any compunction nor my bowels moued with any compassion when I did think on thy cruell death and meditate on thy bitter Passion Oh wretched man that I am oh miserable creature for when others doe mourne at the meditation of thy Passion shed teares and send forth sighes at the remembrance of thy death my hart is so ouer-growne with hardnesse that it cannot be touched with sorrow and mine eyes are so dry without moisture that they vvill not send forth a teare Oh why doe I not sigh sob and weepe in my Meditation of the bitter Passion of my Sauiour my gratious and bountifull benefactor who did abide so many painefull torments and reproachfull taunts for my sinnes and suffered a most shamefull and cruell death on the Crosse for my transgressions How can I excuse the coldnesse of my loue How should I cleare my vnthankfull minde If Death take away my Father or depriue me of my Mother I water my cheekes vvith teares and vvearie my heart vvith groaning I can weepe for the death of a Brother and wring my
worthie to be compared vnto it Oh most sweet Iesu how pleasant how sweet art thou if wee might haue a true taste of thy exceeding sweetnesse In this thy wonderfull Sacrament thou dost feed vs with corporall bread but after a spirituall manner What therefore can I want to satisfie my what may I wish to augment my ioy if I haue my Iesus present with me Though now I see thee darkely through a glasse yet hereafter I shall see thee face to face I cannot satisfie my minde oh my most bountifull Iesus with admiration of thy vnmeasurable liberalitie I cannot wonder enough at the exceeding largenesse of thy bountie What greater gifts couldest thou haue bestowed vpon vs what more excellent benefits couldest thou haue deriued vnto vs For in this thy blessed Testament thou hast bequeathed great and precious Legacies to all thy Brethren that faithfullie loue thee and constantlie beleeue in thee In verie deede thou hast left them a rich inheritance wee cannot estimate the price we can make no true account of the greatnesse Some at their death leaue to their heires Cities and townes great possessions and store of monie some build them sumptuous houses and erect statelie Sepulchers that their name might remaine among men and their memorie continue vpon earth But thy bountie my most kinde and louing Iesus doth farre exceed and surmount them all for thou hast left thy owne selfe vnto vs that wee should haue a continuall spectacle of thy most holy Passion in our mindes and often thinke vpon thy innocent death in our repenting hearts And in thy blessed Sacrament which is so highly to be honoured of vs and most reuerently to be celebrated by vs thou dost giue thy selfe for food to be receiued of vs by faith which may nourish vs to euerlasting life and deliuer vs from the doome of eternall death Oh my most bountifull Lord oh exceeding admirable and incomparable loue of my louing Sauiour my beloued Iesus But how odious is mine ingratitude my kinde and louing Iesus how great and grieuous is my forgetfulnesse that I doe not continuallie remember the pangs of thy Passion and euermore meditate on the paines of thy bitter death when I participate thy wonderfull Sacrament and celebrate thy blessed Supper seeing by thy death thou hast merited for me euerlasting life and by thy Passion hast purchased for mee eternall redemption Why doe I not remember that thou wert wrongfully accused scornefully derided spitefully reuiled cruelly scourged and crucified as a hainous malefactor and put to a shamefull death as a wicked doer and how patientlie thou didst endure the bitter paines of the crosse to deliuer mee a most wretched sinner from the curse of eternall death iustly pronounced against mee and readie to be inflicted vpon mee if thy obedience had not appeased the wrath of thy heauenlie Father and thy gracious mercy salued the wounds of my misery Oh my drie head why doest thou not draw water with ioy out of the fountaines of thy Sauiour for he is a Well of liuing water Oh teares why doe yee not streame forth in great abundance with exceeding ioy and exultation while I call to minde the exceeding sweetnesse of mine euerlasting libertie and meditate vpon the greatnesse and goodnesse of my eternall Redemption in this most sacred holie and wonderfull Sacrament represented vnto me Why doe not my spirits faint with exceeding ioy and why is not my minde rauished with excessiue mirth when I consider the immeasurable greatnesse of thy loue and the incomprehensible largenesse of thy bountie whereby thou hast beene moued to giue vs thy selfe for euerlasting meate to nourish vs to eternall life Haue mercie vpon mee oh my most mercifull Lord because by reason of the imbecillitie of my dull vnderstanding and by the hardnes and drinesse of my heart I am notable to relish the goodnesse nor taste the sweetnesse of the wholesome fruit of thy holie and blessed Sacrament yet I most vilde wretch presume to come to thy Table and to receiue this holy foode though most vnworthie of so great a mercie But woe bee vnto my conscience and horror vnto my wounded soule because I haue approached vnto thy holie Table and taken of thy sanctified meat with polluted hands and vnwashed feete and yet I haue not blushed for shame nor bewailed the follie of my intollerable Presumption For I consider my most sweet IESVS that in this thy most glorious Supper before thou diddest institute the most blessed Sacrament as a memoriall vnto vs of thy bloudie Passion thou the true Christall-glasse of Humilitie taking the shape of a Seruant didst wash the feete of thy Disciples saying moreouer vnto Peter If I shall not wash thee thou shalt haue no part with mee Shall it not therefore bee my great presumption and shall I not incurre the danger of a most grieuous offence against thee if I would haue any part with thee when I approach vnto thy holy Table with vnwashed feete and participate thy blessed Sacrament with defiled hands I know therefore my gratious Lord who and what a one I ought to be when I come to such an excellent Sacrament I know my louing Lord that I should first wash my feete heart and hands and purge all my corrupted affections before I should presume to receiue thy pure and holie Sacrament I know my good and gracious Iesus that it is needfull for mee euery night to wash my Bed and water my Couch with my teares Yea and to wash my feet with teares of true compunction and with streames of sorrow flowing from the inward deuotion of a relenting and repenting heart But woe be vnto me most vnhappie wretch because that I a most vilde creature doe not feare to approach vnto such an excellent Maiestie infected from the crowne of my head to the sole of my foote with sores and loathsome diseases and being a most wicked sinner wholie ouer-spread with corruption and stained with filthie pollution doe not blush to come into thy presence but presume to intrude my selfe into thy blessed societie and to sit downe at thy holie Table which art a diuine Spirit alwaies pure from the spots of sinne and staines of iniquitie I come vnto thee my meeke and louing Iesus puffed vp with pride and lifted vp with rebellious thoughts and I presume to eate with impure hands and vnwashed feet Notwithstanding my most mercifull IESVS I know that thy clemencie is farre greater then mine indignitie and thy mercie farre exceeding my miserie And therefore confident in thy great benignitie and relying whollie vpon thy immeasurable mercie I am bold to receiue thee and being infected with so manie dangerous and deadlie diseases I come vnto thee being a skilfull and louing Phisitian that I may be cured from my grieuous maladies by thy soueraigne medicines For by how much the more weake I am and by how much the greater the maladie is which doth afflict me by so much the more I stand in need of thy helpe
I render vnto thee for thy great bountie What shall I yeeld vnto thee for thy gracious mercie I haue nothing O Lord thou knowest my pouertie I acknowledge my needy necessitie I haue confessed my most haynous sinnes and grieuous offences before thy face I haue not hidden mine vnrighteousnesse out of thy sight Wherefore oh my most bountifull Lord supply that by thy infinite liberalitie which is wanting by reason of my vile ingratitude And thou which art onely able create a thankfull heart in me thy poore vnworthy seruant that it may euermore be delighted with the remembrance of thy goodnes and still be ioyfull with the sweet meditation of thy mercies But now oh my Soule meditate a while how sodaine feare had quailed the loue of the Disciples of my distressed Sauiour For being terrified with his vnexpected and cruell apprehension and dreading their owne danger they fled away leauing their Lord and beloued Master Mark 14.50 Then thou mightest truely say oh most sweet Iesu They which saw me fled from me I am forgotten as a dead man out of minde And againe Thou hast put my friends my neighbours and acquaintance farre from mee Also that was verified which the Prophet had fore-tolde All my friends haue forsaken mee and they that lay in waite haue preuailed against me He whom I loued hath betrayed mee For so wert thou left alone my louing Iesus and they which were neere vnto thee made hast to be gone and would tarrie no longer with thee Consider further oh my soule the disciples of my Sauiour flying for feare and lamenting with sorrow when they saw their most beloued master traiterously betrayed ignominiously abused and led like an innocent Lambe to the shambles Attend to their sighing and groning to their weeping and moning for loath they were to leaue so louing and so well beloued a Master But why should feare of danger haue bin so violent or dread of death so strong as to pull them from so deare a friend They professed they would remaine constant and that no affliction should abate their courage but their words proued no deedes and all was but vaine presumption Selfe-loue of their owne securitie made them forsake their distressed Master in his captiuitie But tell mee bold-hearted Peter why didst thou like a coward forsake thy faithfull Maister Didst thou professe so much and performe so little Was thy manhood so soone quailed when thou was put to thy triall I know thou didst shew some signe of courage and thou beganst to play the man when thy Maister was first apprehended but it was but done in a fit of thine anger and thy heate was soone cooled thy promise great and thy performance little when thou wert in mount Tabor and saw but some beames yea rather some sparkles of the eternall glory of thy blessed Maister then thy senses were so rauished and thy minde so amazed that thou diddest crie out Bonum est esse hic Mat. 17.1 Marke 9.2 Luke 9.28 It is good to be here let vs build three Tabernacles but now thou doest not say Bonum est esse hic It is good to tarry here with my poore disgraced Master Say thou didst loue thy Master well yet it appeareth thou didst loue thy selfe better oh why diddest thou make such a vaine ostentation of thy courage and yet afterwards shew thy selfe such a coward But take heed oh my soule that thou dost not so vehemently inueigh against faint-hearted Peter and the rest of his fearefull fellowes that thou forget thy selfe and passe by thine owne infirmity Wee all loue Christ when our cups may ouerflow with wine and our bellies be filled with the finest wheate but the heate of our loue is quickly cooled if but a small blast of stormie persecution doe bluster against vs. Wee all desire to dwell vvith him as did rauished Peter when his eyes vvere dazeled vvith the beames of his glory appearing vnto him on Mount Tabor But all of vs flye from him or follow him a-loofe-off when wee see him going to Golgotha We dare presume to say with forward Peter Lord if all leaue thee I will not forsake thee Mat. 26.33 Mark 14.29 Iohn 13.37 But alas when wee come to the tryall we are readie to flie and leaue the field at the first alarme Wee could all be content to eate pleasant hony and to feede our selues with sweet milke but our mouthes are filled with murmuring and our hearts with grudging the time is long and the iourney tedious while wee trauell in the wildernes of this world towards heauenly Canaan Exod. 17.2 Alas were the Disciples of my Sauiour so fearefull at the first encounter who had beene so often fore-tolde of that day and had beene so well instructed by their louing Maister to arme themselues against the assaults of affliction Then how can I poore worme boast of my strength and vaunt of my manly courage How should I holde out vnto the end when such stout Souldiers begin to shrinke at the beginning of the battell I know mine owne imbecilitie my powerfull Lord I confesse mine infirmitie I feele my heart quake and I perceiue my courage to quaile so soone as I see but a darke cloud of affliction and stand in dread of euery storme of persecution Strengthen my heart oh Lord with Christian Fortitude that my minde may not be dismayed with feare nor my senses drowned with the streames of immoderate sorrow whensoeuer I must drinke of the bitter waters of affliction for the profession of thy name or feele the pricking thornes of persecution in my sides for the confession of thy truth Teach me to take vp my crosse and to follow thee and that I may not be ashamed of this noble badge of true Christianitie Instruct mee to know that affliction is the lot of thy Children and that thou vvilt haue their Faith tryed in the fiery furnace and graunt mee oh Lord such a plentifull measure of thy quickning grace that although my fraile flesh beginne to tremble and my weake heart to faint at the first assault of danger and I seeke a corner to hide my head in in the time of trouble yet that I may not flye so farre from thee but that I may quickly returne to thee as Peter and Iohn did who loued and were so dearely beloued of thee and as the rest of thy Disciples did after thy glorious resurrection and in the sorrowfull time of calamitie trouble and persecution so mittigate the dolor of my passions that I may endure all extremities with Christian patience knowing that all the afflictions of this world are but momentarie and that the ioyes prepared for the faithfull after this life are innumerable and shall endure eternally Now let vs leaue the sorrowfull Disciples and come to our louing Iesus who being bound was presented to Annas by the wicked Iewes who examined him concerning his Disciples and concerning his doctrine Ioh. 18.19 And although the humilitie of my Sauiour was great and his modestie no
tongue did not cease to prattle when multitudes did flocke after thee through the Cities and when the base people did swarme after thee through the villages and desarts And art not thou hee which preaching to the rude multitude in the Temple and pleasing their giddie humor with thy long orations was so impudent to inueigh against vs Pharises Doctors of law and Rulers of the people calling vs hypocrites checking vs rudely for our Manners and reproouing vs rashly for our Doctrine neither respecting the dignitie of our persons nor dreading the force of our authoritie Now behold wee haue thee sure enough thou canst not escape our hands thou art bound for feare of starting we are no babes to be wonne with faire wordes Now we haue thee thou wretch as thy wicked deedes haue deserued such shall be thy recompense Wee are none of the rude and base multitude thou canst not gull vs with thy flattering speeches nor beguile vs with false apparitions Suppose oh my wofull soule that thou doest heare the cruell Iewes bellowing out such bitter taunts against my harmelesse and innocent Iesus in the heate of their rage adding more cruell deeds to their cruell words for all of them like mad-men rush vpon him in their violent furie Some thumpe him with their hands some spurne him vvith their feet some strike him on the necke and as their hands vvere nimble to load him with blowes so their tongues were not idle from rayling and reuiling him with scornefull words Oh how wonderfully is my Lord derided how vnworthily is hee scorned Yea some so barbarous was their mindes and so brutish was their manners do spit in his face Who euer did see such grosse inhumanitie who doth not abhor such beastly inciuillitie They all striue who should doe him most hurt and contend one with another to doe him most mischiefe seeking by spightfull words to vexe his minde and by cruell blowes to wound his bodie Oh my louing Iesus how bitter are their speeches direfullie breathed out against thee How terrible are their practises so bloodilie inflicted vpon thee Why are not my vitall spirits damped with woe why are not mine eyes drowned in a flood of teares and why is not my soule ouer-whelmed with the waues of sorrow in this my sadde Meditation of thine afflictions and deuout contemplation of thy humane miseries Wherefore gush forth oh yee teares from the inward fountaine of my heart and ouerflow mine eies with your plentifull shewers But art thou made of flint Oh my hard heart that thou doest not breake into pieces Is thy substance of marble that thou doest not cleaue asunder when I meditate vpon these cursed inuectiue reproches and wicked deedes done to my innocent Iesus by the stony-hearted Iewes Alas for mee a most wretched sinner that my Lord should suffer such great and grieuous affliction for my sake and yet that I should still remaine sencelesse in my sins and haue no remorse of conscience for my hainous offences Haue mercy vpon mee most mercifull Lord because I call all these things to minde and haue them in my meditation but for want of true loue I am depriued of true deuotion and my hard heart is without all sense of sorrowfull contrition Therefore wound my heart my louing Iesus that I may be grieued with thee and suffer for thee that thou maist vouchsafe to shew me mercie that I may with more boldnesse approach vnto thy Maiestie Thou wert humbled and I disdaine my brethren vvith pride Thou wert pinched vvith hunger and I surfeit with abundance thou wert afflicted with torments and I spend my dayes in wanton pleasure Thou didst weepe to thinke vpon the vvofull destruction of Ierusalem but I am not touched with any tender affection of mercie when I see thousands oppressed vvith miserie I can finde no place my sweet Iesu to hide my face from confusion I can finde no remedie for my deadly maladie but in the vertue of thy comfortable mercie Oh cure my disease with this excellent medicine and salue all my vvounds with this pretious Balme that all mine affections may be so kindled vvith thy loue that I may reioyce to suffer and suffer vvith reioycing for thy glorious name vvho wert content to bee scorned and scourged to be accounted as an abiect amongst the vile and wicked that I might be raised out of the pit of endlesse miserie to be exalted for euer vvith thee in the Pallace of eternall glorie A Meditation how Peter denied his Maister three times in the house of Cayphas and of his weeping for the same MED X. Trembling with feare caus'd by a silly a Iohn 18.17 Maid Once twise yea b Luk. 22.60.61 thrice Saint Peter doth deny His blessed Lord c Mar. 14.72 Remembring what Christ sayd Goes forth repents and d Mat. 26.75 weeps most bitterly NOw let vs cease a while to meditate on my Sauiour and consider how Peter carried himself in the afflictions of his Master He was loath to leaue him because he did loue him and therefore although at the first hee fled yet hee returned againe with the other Disciple who by friendship brought him into the Pallace of the high Priest and as Peter stood there by the fire a maide looked vpon him and said to them that were by This man also was with Iesus of Nazareth But Peter who not long before had made such great brags of his loue was now so daunted with feare that he flatly denied his seruice saying I know not the man And a little after another sayd vnto him Art not thou also one of his Disciples So that now Peter was not content simply to denie him but hee beganne earnestly to forsweare him Now within a while after another came and said Verily thou art one of them And then Peter began to curse and sweare saying I know not the man whom thou speakest of and immediately the Cocke crew And the Lord who stood not far off in the hands of the wicked looked back vpon Peter not refusing faint-hearted Peter to be his seruant although he had denied and abiured him for his Maister Then Peter remembred the words which Iesus had spoken to him and he went out wept bitterly Mat. 26. Now let vs seriously meditate on the frailtie of Peter that seeing so stout a Souldier so soone daunted with feare we may take heed not to presume too much vpon our owne weakenesse lest we play the cowards and start backe as he did when wee are put to our tryall Consider oh my soule the feruency of his loue and greatnesse of his feare the willingnesse of his minde and weakenesse of his might I dare not say but that Peter did loue his Lord and was sorry for the distressed estate of his master although his heart fainted and his stomacke failed in the time of danger hee thought hee should haue beene able to haue performed in deedes that which he had so boldly boasted in wordes but alas hee
torment my innocent Sauiour Marke how soone he was infected by their vvicked manners how soone his soule was corrupted with their naughtie conditions for now he began to protest with swearing and to affirme with cursing that he knew not his louing Maister to whom not long before hee had made a solemne vow not onely to forgoe his libertie for his cause but also to loose his life for his sake Luke 22.33 Oh fearefull downfall of so great an Apostle for if his louing Master and mercifull Sauiour had not beene more constant towards him in his loue and tenderly compassionate towards him by his mercie hee had neuer recouered himselfe but had perished for euer No man can touch Pitch but hee shall be defiled no man can tread vpon thornes with barefeete but he shall be pricked nor any man holde his hands amongst fierie coales but they will be burned Euen so no man can remaine amongst lewd persons and conuerse in the companie of the wicked but his minde shall be stained with the spots of impietie his conscience wounded with the thornes of sinne and his soule made loathsome vvith the botches and blaines of iniquitie But so soone as my beloued Iesus had turned his eies towards Peter and vvith his lookes had awakened his drowsie memorie then perplexed Peter remembred the words of his Master so that his heart being surcharged vvith sorrow and his eyes flowing with teares he left that wicked companie and went out and wept yea he wept bitterly Luk. 22.62 Teach me oh Lord to leaue the dangerous societie of the wicked neither let mee desire or delight to dwell in the Tents of the vngodly Let me also learne by the example of thy sorrowfull Disciple to goe into some secret place and with-draw my selfe from the people when I call my selfe to reckoning for my transgressions but alas I am negligent in casting vp this account and begin to sorrow for my sinnes and to shed teares for my grieuous offences that all impediments may be remoued from mine eies and as much as is possible all vaine and vvicked cogitations out of my heart vvhen I come before thy presence oh Lord to prostrate my selfe before thee in submissiue humilitie desiring thee to passe ouer mine offences and to forgiue me my sinnes through thy infinite mercie Then oh my good Lord so deepely vvound my conscience vvith horrour of my detestable sinnes that I may offer vp a broken and contrite heart vnto thee because thou art alwaies vvell pleased vvith such a Sacrifice and it sendeth vp a sweet sauour into thy nosethrils Now consider oh my soule that as the trespasse of Peters deniall vvas great so his sorrow vvas grieuous as the remembrance of his fall vvas sowre so the streames of his teares vvere bitter yet they vvere not so bitter vnto him for feare of punishment as they vvere bitter because hee had denied so sweet and so louing a Master the remembrance of his horrible ingratitude vvas more bitter vnto him then gall and more vnpleasant then wormewood his teares vvere bitter vnto him in respect of his presumption who promised so much and performed so little and they vvere bitter vnto him vvhen he thought vpon the sweet loue of his Master and the great benefits hee had receiued of him And yet their bitternesse vvas mixed vvith sweetnesse because they were signes of his hartie sorrow and tokens of his true repentance for where true repentance goeth before remission of sinnes alwaies followeth after Eze. 33.19 Thou seest also that the lookes of the Lord did draw out teares from Peters eies Neither is it any wonder for the eies of the Lord were as a flame of fire and the eies of Peter as Ice vvhich began to melt into teares by the influence of their heat as true tokens of his sorrowfull relenting and penitent heart Oh happie are thine eies my blessed Sauiour vvhich doe so warme the coldnesse of our harts that they may bee able to haue some sense of thy loue and doe so illuminate our dimme vnderstanding that we may see our errours and seeing may sigh and weepe for our transgressions Oh how soone doe they dissolue the Ice and melt the frost of our hard harts and turne it into the waters of bitter lamentation and sorrowfull deuotion Oh my most bountifull Iesu oh my most mercifull Lord haue mercy vpon mee pitty my vvofull case shut not the dore of thy compassion against mee oh let me taste of the sweetnesse of thy wonted clemency vvhich haue so often so stubbornely renounced thee through the peeuishnes of my will so often denyed thee by my wicked words and most often forsworne thee by my wretched deeds Haue mercy vpon me oh my most sweet Iesus let the beames of thine eyes make their reflection towards mee that mine eyes may melt into teares as the rocke did gush forth water when Moses smote it with his rod Exod. 17.5 that I may weep for my sins and bewaile my transgressions which haue so often refused thy seruice because I vvas loath to leaue the vanities of the wicked world or to forsake the pleasures of the wanton flesh Heale mee oh Lord for I am full of sores and my bones doe rot away with corruption Stay me vp oh Lord when my feete begin to slide and lift me vp when I am downe vnlesse thou support mee I cannot but slide and vnlesse thou doe lift me vp I cannot rise againe when I doe fall I can doe nothing vvithout thee thou onely doest heale those that are bruised and thou alone doest raise them vp that are fallen Therefore looke towards mee and haue mercie vpon mee for I am desolate and poore Neither turne away thy face from me but let thine eyes be fixed vpon me If thou wilt vouchsafe oh my most kind and louing Lord to shew me this mercy and to regard the wofull estate of mee a most wretched creature then oh Lord I shall call my transgressions to remembrance mourne for my grieuous offences that I haue committed against thee Raise mee vp oh Lord out of my dead sleepe of carelesse securitie as thou didst Lazarus out of his graue Ioh. 11.43 44. open the eyes of my vnderstanding that I may see to tread in the pathes of thy commandements Be thou as a strong Pillar to support and stay me in my weakenesse for I am so feeble that I cannot stand without thy helpe and euery moment I shall bee ouerwhelmed vnlesse thy strong hand doe support me Let thy eyes oh my louing IESVS be euermore turned towards mee that I may euery day returne vnto thee by true and harty repentance sorrowing for my sinnes that are past and endeuouring by thy grace to take better heed to my wayes in time to come so that I may do that which is agreeable to thy sacred law and acceptable to thy holy will Oh my GOD let thy seruant Peter his falling put me in continuall minde to take heed to mine owne standing and his
Weepe for thy selfe bewaile thy sinnes lament thy transgressions for they indeed were the tyrants that compelled thee to beare so heauy a Crosse they vrged thee to abide the penalty of so bitter a curse Touch my heart oh Lord touch my heart with the sting of a serious and restlesse compunction that I may no longer lye lulled a sleepe in the lap of careles security fetter my feet that I may runne no more in the broad way of iniquitie Mannacle my hands that they may be deteined from cruell and impious actions Snaffle the vnbrideled motions of my minde that it may be restrained from all idle scelerous and wicked cogitations keepe the doore of my lips and hedge in my tongue that it may not run without the bounds of reason Stop the passage of mine eares when they are allured to listen to any loose or lewd discourses Dispell and disperse the thicke clowdes of blindnesse from mine eyes take away the grosse scales that darken my sight so that now I may see the vgly and deformed shape of my sinnes that I may cease to loue them begin to dislike and to loath them which caused my Sauiour to endure the heauy wrath of his Father which lay so heauie vpon his soule and body that the weight of it pressed blood out of his veines mingled vvith water Luke 22.44 so ponderous was the burden of our iniquity so dolorous was the extremity of his bitter agonie for neuer was there sorrow like vnto this sorrow Let my sweetest musicke be continuall mourning let my songs of ioy be turned into wofull lamentations let it be all my pleasant melody to muse on the miserie of my soule and multitude of my sins which made thee discend from the highest heauens and will throw me downe to the lowest hell vvhere the firie lake burneth that shal neuer be extinguished whose flames is so fierce that it cannot be greater by any augmentation neither is it subiect to any diminution If all the torments vvhich bloody Tyrants haue inuented could be inflicted vpon me at one time and my body vvere able to feele the paines of all them at once yet all of them vvould not be so horrible as one sparkle of this terrible fire it needeth no fuell to nourish the flame as it selfe neuer is wasted so nothing iniected into it is euer consumed No tongue is able to expresse the horrible pangs of the damned soules which are tormented in this euerlasting and vnquenchable fire Let the horror of it be fresh in my memory and the meditation imprinted in my thoughts so that my hands may tremble and shake for feare and my whole body quiuer and quake vvith terror of it when any euill imagination is hatched in my heart or any wicked deed should be acted with my hands that I may be terrified from nourishing sinne within my bosome that layd so heauy a Crosse vpon thy shoulders yet vvhen feare hath cast me downe let the gentle hand of thy mercy raise mee vp so that in my last deadly agony I may still lift vp my heart and hands towards the seat of thy mercy and though remembrance of my haynous transgressions do present nothing vnto mee but cause of feare and terrour yet al my vnfained repentance cause me to taste of thy infinite loue and boundles mercy Teach me oh my sweet Sauiour to follow thee with fearefulnes to the place of execution and to take vp my Crosse with alacrity on my shoulders But if thou wilt haue mee to follow thee oh my most gratious Lord then draw mee after thee For vnlesse thy Father and thou doe draw me I am not able to follow thee Iohn 6.44 I see mine owne infirmity I feele the defects of my great imbicility the cup of affliction is bitter vnto my taste if it doe but once touch my lips I am ready to refuse it I will none of it I am loth to feele any paine I couet nothing but wanton pleasure Oh how doe I begin to storme if I be but crossed with an vnkind word much lesse am I able to beare the crosse of a malitious deed How is my minde troubled the temper of my senses distempered if any thing fall out crosse to mine expectation or contrary to my desire so that oftentimes my mouth is filled with cursing my heart with grudging and all my words sauour of nothing else but bitter repining I am willing to be thy disciple my blessed Sauior so long as I may dwell in peace and reape a plentifull haruest of prosperitie but alas I am weary of thy company if I feele but a little blast of aduersitie teach me oh my sweet Iesu and I shal learne if thou be my schoolemaister to know that it is the lot of those which will be trained vp in thy schoole to be vnder the rodde of correction and that none are worthy thy to receiue a Crowne vnlesse they be willing to take vp thy Crosse those that belong vnto sweet spices which send forth alwayes the most odoriferous smell when they are brayed and brused in the morter they are like vnto stones which must be hammered hewed and squared before they can be fit for the building of thy holy Temple yea they are like vnto gold mixed with much drosse and can haue no glory before they be fined and refined seauen times yea seauenty times seauen times in the fire of affliction Arme thou my hart with christian fortitude my minde with constant patience oh thou which art mine omnipotent Redeemer that no torment may be so great no affliction so grieuous no miserie so vnmeasurable but I may couragiously suffer it to publish the glory of thy name and constantly endure it to manifest the fidelitie of thy loue Teach me so to carrie thy Crosse in my heart and let the remembrance of it be so deepely imprinted in my minde that I may daily crucifie my carnall concupiscence wanton vanities and worldly desires Oh let my soule be so rauished with ioy by the sweet meditation of thy mercie and all my senses so well pleased and ioyfully delighted with the odoriferous sent of thy loue that I may seeke nothing thinke of nothing so much or speake of any thing so often as of my crucified CHRIST who onely of his free mercy and gratious bountie died a most vile painefull and ignominious death for mee a most vvretched miserable and desperate sinner that by his pretious bloud and blessed though bitter PASSION I might be made partaker of Euerlasting Saluation Graunt mee oh my sweet CHRIST some taste of it here vpon earth that I may patiently waite for the full fruition of it hereafter in HEAVEN Amen A Meditation declaring the bitter and cruell crucifying of our Lord Iesus Christ performed on Mount Caluarie MED XIIII View here the wounds of Christ vpon the a Luk. 23.33 Crosse His head his hands his feet also his b Ioh. 19.33 side Bleeding amaine Consider eke the losse c Luk.
torture thy body and such furious tyrants to vexe thy soule how great oh my sweet Iesu are the tortures which thou doest patiently endure for my sake how painefull how shamefull and cursed vvas the death vvhich thou didst suffer for my sinnes the punishment was great wherewith thy body was afflicted the anguish was grieuous wherewith thy soule was affected the thornes vvere sharpe that wounded thy sacred head the whips were terrible that scourged thy naked body the nailes were painefull that entred through thy hands and pierced thy feete nothing but markes of cruelty appeared to thine eyes nothing but scornefull reproaches of thine enemies sounded in thy eares But as thy outward afflictions were vnspeakeable so thy inward sorrow was more intollerable vvhen thou didst thinke how forgetfull vvee vvould be of thy mercies and how vnthankfull we would be for thy benefits And as thou my most deare Iesu in the fiercest fittes of thine agonie and sorest pangs of thy Passion didst call and crie to thy heauenly Father for succour so teach mee to lift vp my deuout heart pure hands and a lowde voice towards the seat of mercy when any outward affliction doth pinch my body or any inward tribulation presse my soule teach me oh Lord in the stormie daies of my greatest persecutions to meditate on thy vvonted goodnesse and when my soule is most perplexed with the horror of my guilty conscience to thinke on the multitude of thy mercies But forsake mee not my sweet Iesu vvhen my strength faileth vphold mee when my feete begin to slide and raise mee vp vvhen I begin to fall thou doest neuer leaue them vvithout comfort in time of their trouble vvho come vnto thee vvith confidence of thy promises and faithfully craue thy succour Oh suffer not my soule to be cast downe vvith immoderate mourning or my mouth to be filled vvith murmuring when thy hand lieth heauie vpon mee Comfort my drouping heart with some taste of thy heauenly consolation vvhen either the sword of persecution doth vvound my body or sorrow for my sinnes doth afflict my minde Let mee remember that thy children are in this vvorld as the Israelites were in the Desart they shall haue many cruell foes abide hunger and thirst runne through many dangers and drinke of the bitter waters of Mara before they can come into heauenly Canaan and chaw the Wormewood of affliction before they can eate of the fruit of the tree of life more sweet then milke and more delicate then hony Let me remember that Abraham the Father of the faithfull was often afflicted that Iacob thy beloued was constrained to flye for feare of Esau his rough-handed and hard-harted brother and then vngently intreated and vniustly rewarded for his faithfull seruice by Laban his churlish Vnckle That Dauid thy chosen vvas often in danger of his life pursued and persecuted by furious Saul before he was aduanced to his Kingdome Oh let mee not forget the many miseries and bitter afflictions which tumbled in heapes vpon Iob thy faithfull seruant Let their patience calme the turbulent motions of my repining minde and let the remembrance of their deliuerance arme my hart with a confident and stedfast resolution that the eye of thy carefull prouidence neuer sleepeth nor slumbreth but continually watcheth ouer thy faithfull and beloued and that thine omnipotent arme is then stretched out to rid them out of perill vvhen they seeme to be in a desperate case past all hope and farthest from succour And let me know that affliction is the best hope that thy children may expect in this worldly Lotterie but yet let the anchor of my hope take such sure hold on thy promises in the time of my misery that I may alwaies be assured that thou art able and neuer vnwilling to cure my maladie if I call faithfully vpon thy name and waite thy appointed time with patience abiding constant in thy loue and confident in thy vvord Grant mee oh my Lord Iesus to crie out vnto thee in the daies of my trouble to craue thy strong aide in the houre of my tribulation O let mee drinke a deepe draught of the fountaine of thy mercie vvhen my poore heart is parched with thirst in this world of miserie Heare me from Heauen and let my voice sound in thine eares that I may receiue comfort when I am distressed helpe me vvhen I am oppressed and peace of conscience when my soule is afflicted that when I feele the sweet taste of thy mercy my lips may shew thy praise and my tongue declare thy glory saying With my voyce I cried vnto the Lord with my voyce I prayed vnto the Lord and hee heard mee A Meditation concerning the fift and sixt words which the Lord Iesus spake on the Crosse to wit I thirst and It is finished MED XVIII When Christ our Lord the a Zach. 13.1 fountaine of all blisse Had said I b Ioh. 19.28 thirst and that the houre was come That hee to Death must yeeld for our c Rom. 4.25 amisse He said It 's d Ioh. 19.30 finisht now and all is done HEere Oh my soule consider not onely the woes but mark the words of thy dying Iesus thou didst heare him cry vnto his heauenly Father with feruencie of his affection vttering the vehemencie of his affliction and now heare thy wofull Iesus speaking vnto the wilfull deafe-eard and dead-hearted Iewes saying I thirst And although enuie had so parched vp their hearts that they had no sap of relenting pittie yet let his words pierce so deepe into thy tender heart that it may be wounded vvith true compunction and stirre vp actiue and liuely motions of compassion vvithin thy bowels so often as thou dost thinke on his necessity and so often as thou dost meditate on his calamity but alas thou dost seldome or neuer meditate on his humane misery Oh what grieuous infirmities miseries distresses and calamities did our fraile assumed nature bring vpon thee my louing sweet and mercifull Iesu How many great and vnsupportable torments did our sinne yea my sinnes made thine by imputation compell thee to suffer What did cause thee to doe it my blessed Sauiour but the ardent feruour of thy exceeding loue What worthinesse of merit was there in vs as a motiue to mooue thee it was thine vnspeakeable mercy and nothing but thine inestimable mercy which did induce thee But canst thou oh my sorrowfull soule containe thy teares within the little caue of thine eyes and suppresse thy groanes and represse thy sighes within the hollow corners and cauernes of thy heart when thou doest thinke on the extreame thirst of thy louing Iesus and of the small compassion that was shewed vnto him by the vnmercifull Iewes wherefore cry out with the voyce of mourning and lament in thy crying say vnto thy beloued Iesus Oh my most louing Lord oh my most gracious Reconciler oh my most mercifull Redeemer how should my sad sorrowfull soule be afflicted with heauinesse how
braue garments the Wormes shall be spread vnder thee and the Wormes shall be thy couering For the Iustice of God can iudge and determine no other thing but that which our works do deserue For hee which loueth the world more then God a place of pleasure The marks of a wicked worldling more then the House of Prayer gluttony more then abstinency letchery more then chastity followeth the Deuill and shall goe with him to euerlasting punishment What mourning do you thinke there shall be then what lamentation what sorrow and sadnesse when the wicked shal be separated from the fellowship of the righteous and from the sight of God and shall be deliuered into the power of the Deuils and shall goe with them into euerlasting fire and shall be there with them alwayes without end in perpetuall mourning and lamentation Because being banished farre from the blessed Countrey of Paradise they shall be tormented in the place of neuer-ceasing torments neuer to see the light any more neuer to obtaine any releasement or refreshing but by thousands of thousands of yeeres to be tormented in Hell neuer to be deliuered from thence where the tormentors are neuer tyred nor wearied neither hee vvhich is tormented euer dyeth For the fire there so consumeth that it alwaies preserueth The torments are so acted that they are alwaies renewed The quality of the paine shall be fitted to the quality of the offence But euery one shall endure paine of torment according to the quality of the fault and they that are guilty of the same sinne shall be sorted and ioyned to their like to be tormented No other thing shall be heard there but weeping and mourning groaning and howling lamentation and gnashing of teeth And nothing shall be seene there but Wormes and the terrible faces of the tormentors and most hidious monsters of the Diuels Cruell Wormes shall bite the innermost parts of the heart heere shall be paine there feares sighing astonishment and horrible terrour And they being miserable and wretched shall burne in euerlasting fire for euer The condition of the damned after death of the body and besides they shall be tormented in the flesh by fire in the spirit by the Worme of conscience there shall be intollerable griefe horrible feare incomparable stinke death both of soule and body without hope of pardon or mercie Neuerthelesse they shall so dye as they may alwayes liue and shall so liue as they may alwaies die The difference of a repenting and an obstinate sinner So the soule of a sinner is tormented in hell for his sinnes or being conuerted from her sinnes is placed in Paradise Now therefore let vs choose one of the two either alwaies to be tormented vvith the vvicked or to liue in ioy with the righteous For good and euill life and death are set before vs that vvee may put forth our hand to which vvee vvill If torments cannot terrifie vs at least let rewards allure vs. Of the reward of the heauenly Countrey the which all Christians ought to endeauour to obtaine MOTIVE IIII. IT is a reward to see God to liue with God to liue of God to be with GOD to be in God vvhich vvill be all things in all To haue GOD vvhich is the chiefest good where the chiefest good is there is the chiefest felicitie chiefest pleasure true libertie perfect charitie eternall securitie and secure eternitie there is true ioy full knowledge all beauty and all beatitude There is peace pietie goodnesse light vertue honesty ioyes mirth sweetnesse euerlasting life glory praise rest loue and sweet concord The exceeding ioyes of the righteous So the man shall be blessed with GOD in whose conscience sinne hath not beene found Hee shall see God at his desire he shall haue him at his pleasure hee shall enioy him to his euerlasting delight He shall flourish in eternity hee shall be glorious in truth hee shall shine in glory he shall reioyce in goodnesse so hee shall haue eternity of continuance so hee shall haue facilitie of knowledge and wisedome and felicity of rest and quietnesse For he shall be a Citizen of that Holy Citie of which the Citizens are Angels God the Father the Temple his Sonne the glorie and brightnesse the Holy Ghost the loue and charity Oh heauenly Citie A description of the celestiall Citie secure Mansion fertile and ample Countrey thou containest all which delighteth the people liue vvithout mourning the Inhabitants are quiet and peaceable persons hauing no want or necessity How glorious things are spoken of thee oh Citie of God! So that the Habitation of all vvhich reioyce is in thee All reioyce with mirth and exceeding ioy All are delighted and made ioyfull by God vvhose lookes are beautifull face faire and comely speech sweet and delectable hee is delightfull to be seene pleasant to be drunke sweet to be enioyed He pleaseth by himselfe alone he both sufficeth of himselfe for desert and also sufficeth of himselfe for reward neither is any thing sought without him because it is wholly found in him whatsoeuer is desired Iâ— God is all good It is alwaies pleasing and delightfull to behold him alwaies to be delighted in him and alwaies to enioy him In him the vnderstanding is clarified and the affection is purified to know and loue the truth And this is the sole and whole good of man namely to know and loue his Creator Therefore vvhat madnesse of vices doth moue vs to thirst after the bitter Wormewood of this World to follow the shipwracke of this sliding life To suffer calamitie to endure the Dominion of a vvicked Tirannie and not rather to flye and flocke together to the felicitie of the Saints to the societie of the Angels to the solemnitie of supernall and heauenly ioy and to the pleasantnesse of a contemplatiue life that vvee may enter into the Dominions of the LORD and see the superaboundant riches of his goodnesse There we shall be freed from toyling cares and shall see how sweet the Lord is and how great the multitude is of his exceeding sweetnesse We shall see the beautie of his glorie The happy estate of the iust in heauen the brightnesse of his Saints and honour of his Royall Maiestie We shall know the power of the Father the vvisedome of the Sonne the most liberall clemencie of the Holy Ghost and so vvee shall haue knowledge of the most high Trinitie Now vve see bodies by the bodie also we see the Images of bodies by the Spirit but then vvee shall see the Trinitie vvith the pure sight of the minde Oh happie vision to see God in himselfe to see him in vs and to see vs in him In which vision with happy pleasure and pleasant happinesse wee shall haue all whatsoeuer wee shall desire desiring nothing else besides and wee shall loue vvhatsoeuer wee shall see blessed with the loue blessed with the sweetnesse of the loue and pleasantnesse of the contemplation This shall be
a couetous and greedy Miser he heapeth vp to himselfe Ignominie and foule reproach by his odious fraud and dissimulation and through his malitious subtilty kindleth the wrath of God against him and daily addeth more fewell to augment the flame This man was conceiued bred and borne in sinne and so being nurtured and nusled in sinne is become a friend of iniquitie the childe of death the vessell of wrath exposed to contumelious reproach and finall destruction Who although hee be so corrupted with wicked manners depraued with vile conditions and depriued of all commendable vertues yet hee vttereth forth the sacred Iustice of God with his dissembling words and taketh his holy couenant in his prophaned mouth He hateth discipline and scorneth correction he dishonoureth his soueraigne Lord and casteth his commaundements contemptuously behinde his backe When hee spieth a Thiefe hee entereth a league of societie and runneth to mischiefe with him he shareth and hath his portion with filthy and vncleane Adulterers he is vvholy delighted vvith their scandalous amitie he alwaies frequenteth their damnable societie Hee forgetteth many false accusations and criminall obiections against the sonne of his owne and onely mother hee also treasureth wrath vpon thee against the day of wrath and vengeance to worke and contriue thy wofull and eternall perdition he would rob and quite depriue thee of thy rich and royall inheritance and would banish thee for euer from thy heauenly and most happy Country to dwell in a land of perpetuall darknesse full of euerlasting woes and lamentations Yet thou art so blinded vvith selfe-conceited folly and so besotted with thy doting affections that thou wilt not lift vp so much as thy little finger to reuenge so great so notorious and grieuous an iniurie but are content to dissemble thy hurts and to put vp all his vvrongs hee hath done vnto thee to hold thy tongue and so to let them passe away in silence neither doest thou speake an vnkinde or froward word nor shew him a frowning or soure looke but thou smilest vpon him vvith a ioyfull face When he flattereth sootheth thee in thy dangerous follies thou doest sport play dally and solace thy selfe with a scornefull mocker thou knowest not that it is a deriding Ismael which sporteth and playeth with thee This is no Childish sport acted in simplicitie and qualified vvith harmelesse innocency but the beginning of it is bloody persecution and the end of it euerlasting death and damnation hee hath tumbled thee downe headlong into the deepe pit which hee digged and made for thy eternall destruction now thou art become an effeminate Coward and hast lost the vigor of thy manly forces now thou being a wretched Captiue pressed downe with the grieuous yoke of most miserable and slauish bondage art basely deiected trampled and trod vpon vnder his feet O wretched wofull and miserable man who shall deliuer rescue and redeeme thee from the heauy band and bondage of this ignominious and opprobrious Nick-name Let God arise and let that armed man fall downe to the ground If God be on our side wee need not care who be against vs. let him fall flat on the ground let that direfull foe and bloody Tyrant be beaten into pieces as small as the dust to be scattered abroad with the violence of the stormy windes A proud contemner of God and all that are good a worshipper of himselfe a friend of the world a seruant of the deuill What thinkest thou What is thy opinon How inclineth thy minde and affection If Reason be thy Pilot to direct the course of thy opinion and Wisedome the Master to stirre the helme of thy Vnderstanding thou wilt say with mee Hee hath committed most vile and horrible treason against the highest Maiestie hee is guiltie of death let him be crucified and let him suffer as he hath well deserued the extreame rigour of most bitter and painefull Torments of the flesh Do not therefore play the Hypocrite and maske thy counterfeiting affections vvith the vizard of dissimulation deferre not his execution from day to day by a fond repriuall spare him not for foolish pitty but speedily boldly instantly crucifie that sinfull and guilty Traytor But on the Crosse of Christ by whose death wee are restored and raised to life made coheyres with him of his glorious Kingdome and of euerlasting Saluation to whom if thou shalt cry vvith a sorrowfull compunction of a groaning heart and vvith the deepe sighes of a grieued and penitent minde then thy crucified Christ will heare thee speedily answering thee kindly To day thou shalt be with me in Paradise Oh wonderfull pitty of Christ a most louing Sauiour oh vndeserued nay vnexpected Saluation of a great and grieuous Sinner So bountifull so gracefull and so delightfull is the exceeding loue of God so admirable is his sweetnesse so farre beyond our opinion is his fauourable kindnesse so immeasurable is his meekenesse that his eares are alwaies open to heare the complaints of his pleople he is alwaies at leisure to receiue with kindnesse and to answere with speedinesse the humble petitions of those which in time of their distresses will faithfully call vpon him and with contrite and relenting hearts will reuerently approach neere vnto him because his mercy toward vs is without measure and his tender compassion knoweth no bounds Oh how great worthy and wonderfull is the mercy of our gratious God! Oh how vnvtterable is the powerfull alteration of the right hand of the highest Yesterday I was fast fettered in the Prison of darkenesse vnder the checke of a cruell and mercilesse Murtherer How pleasant is the freedome of sinne to day I am in the hand of a pittifull and mercifull Mediator Yesterday I was in the gate of deuouring hell on euery side affrighted with feare and afflicted with misery to day I am in the pleasant Paradise of eternall delights and pleasure totally replenished with neuer-decaying ioy endlesse delight and euerlasting felicitie But how may these Letters of admonition preuaile how may they profite vnlesse thou race out of the Booke of thy Conscience the blacke letters of thy bloody death and sinnefull debt How can these sentences affoord thee any solace procure any profit or bring any comfort when they are read and vnderstood vnlesse thou read thy selfe truly know and vnderstand perfectly Doe thy best diligence afforde thy chiefest indeauours to internall and mentall reading The true end and vse of reading bookes that thou mayest read thy selfe truely looke into thy selfe circumspectly and know thy selfe throughly Read that thou mayest loue God vnfainedly that thou mayest fight and hold out vntill the end of the battell couragiously and that thou mayest ouercome the world and euery cruell enemy victoriously so that thy toyling labour may be turned into eternall rest and quietnesse thy wofull mourning into mirth and gladnesse thy streames of teares into riuers of comfortable vvaters and that when Death hath quite put out the twinckling Lampe of
It is true that my conscience doth merit damnation and that my repentance doth not suffice for satisfaction But it is certaine that thy exceeding mercie doth surpasse all my vile iniquitie Therefore good Sauiour spare that of which thou art the Saluation yea thou that desirest not the death of a sinner Spare oh spare my sinfull soule for it being vtterly dismayed flieth from thy terrifying Iustice to thy comforting mercie that because the reward of her virginitie being corrupted oh heart-wounding sorrow is vnrecouerable the punishment of hatefull Fornication to her repenting at least may not be vneuitable because it is not a thing impossible to thy omnipotencie neither vnseemely to thy Iustice nor vnaccustomable to thy mercie Both because thou art good and because thy infinite mercie endureth for euer Which art blessed vvorld without end Amen A Meditation of S. Bernard concerning the Passion of Iesus Christ Diuided into twentie and one Sections SECTION I. LEt vs vvho are true Christians graced with so noble a name so high a stile and so glorious a title honour and celebrate with true sorrowfull relenting repenting harts the Funerall Obsequies of our noble Lord Iesus of Nazareth that meeke spotlesse innocent and harmelesse Lambe who did not so much as open his mouth being vnder the hand of the Shearer malitiously accused odiously reuiled innocently and wrongfully condemned of the furious and bloody Iewes extreamely tortured spitefully disdained shamefully spetted vpon and lastly cruelly crucified by the barbarous and brutish Gentiles It is an exployt full of honour full of renowne it is most healthfull and wholsome for our sickly soules that we Christians dayned worthie of such a gracious and honourable Name should reuerently adore louingly embrace valiantly imitate the weake infirmities scornefull disgraces base pouerty painefull labours sore and sorrowfull agonies the deadly pangs of the bitter Passion of our louing Redeemer and sweet Sauiour Christ Iesus the righteous For these are the powerfull instruments and most strong weapons by which the omnipotent vertue and the infinite inuestigable and vnsearchable wisedome of God hath mightily and wonderfully effected and wrought the restauration and renouation of the decayed World the eternall Saluation of vs men yea of vs most miserable and wretched men and the endlesse and vtter destruction of Hell Death and the Diuell Heb. 2.14 Luke 1.71 And in the working of this great worke and admirable misterie of our Saluation the Lord Christ was made lesser then the Angels that he might make vs equall with the Angels hee descended from his Throne of glory that hee might deliuer vs from ignominie Heb. 2 9. Hee being Lord of Lords tooke vpon him the shape of a seruant that he might make vs honourable hee willingly dispossessed himselfe of all his Royalties that he might eternally possesse vs with the euerlasting treasure and full inheritance of his heauenly Kingdome 2 Cor. 8.9 And who is hee if hee could tast his infinite kindnesse but alas who is able to sound the bottomlesse depth of this more then meruailous yea miraculous loue but vvould willingly forsake his goodly earthly possessions leaue all his worldly honours and dignities subiect euery moment to decay and vanity as soone gone as they are gotten disroabe the stout Bride of her gay and gorgious apparell and strip her naked from all her borrowed feathers cloath himselfe vvith the sackcloath of lowly humility cut off his curled lockes and sprinkle his head with ashes that he might truly humble prostrate and debase himselfe cast downe his high lookes curbe his proud aspiring and vntamed thoughts for Christ Iesus his meeke and mercifull Sauiour vvho came downe from Heauen out of the bosome of his Father being coeternall and coequall with him in euerlasting glorie leauing the ioyfull societie of blessed Angels aboue to conuerse here below amongst cursed men nay to abide and patiently to beare the curses and bitter taunts of blasphemous and fiery-minded men SECTION II. THis Lord Christ was tyrannically tortured cruelly crucified for our yea rather for my sins and hath sweetned his bitter crosse to all that zealously loue him faithfully beleeue in him Hee died a most shamefull cruell cursed death on the Crosse that he might deliuer vs from the curse of the condemning and killing Law and taken vs out of the iawes of the deuouring Lyon redeemed vs from Hell from infernall fire and euerlasting perdition Hee shed yea powred out his most precious blood spouting out the same from all the vaines of his pierced and martyred body that with his precious and soueraigne Balme he might salue all our deadly wounds and saue our dying soules He died and by his death killed death that we might liue eternally in him and by him And who may not amazedly admire the incomparable loue of so milde so mercifull and so potent a Sauiour Who cannot at least who ought not with rauished affections to loue and like ioyfull Simeon with both armes to imbrace so magnificent but for vs sinfull men and for our sakes made so humble and lowly and yet a most powerfull Redeemer The dulcet taste of vvhose loue doth farre exceede the Hony and the Hony-combe in sweetnesse And although the least drop of it be sufficient to fill all and euery part of an hungry soule yet it hath in it such a sauourie relish and an appetite procuring quality that the more the desirous soule eateth the more it coueteth the more it feedeth the more eagerly it longeth and thirsteth after it Why should we not patiently suffer and constantly endure whatsoeuer the inueterate malice of the Diuell can imagine against vs or the furious madnesse of vvicked men his wilfull Ministers can lay or impose vpon vs for Christ Iesus his cause for the honouring of his truly and honourable name and for our constant profession of a true Christian Faith Christ passed through the ignominie shame contempt of the Crosse to supernall dignity infinite Maiestie and endlesse glory all power authority was giuen vnto him for the aduancement of his euerlasting dominion both in heauen aboue and in earth beneath by God his heauenly Father all the Angels Gods heauenly Heraulds with ioyfull humility melodious Harmony and with continuall laud and thankes-giuing doe worship and adore his incomprehensible exceeding-glorious and eternall Maiestie and at the honourable name of Iesus let euerie knee be bowed of things in Heauen aboue and things in the darkest Caues of Hell belowe Where is thy glory oh Christian Where is thy reioycing Where is thy boasting not in Nobilitie honour and riches but in the glorious name of thy crucified Lord thy eternall God and euerlasting Sauiour and in the gratious gracefull and sweet name of Christ which is a name aboue all names farre surpassing all Noble honourable and glorious earthly titles and the highest stile of vvorldly Maiestie And whosoeuer is blessed in this name shall be truly blessed here vpon earth and afterward shall be eternally happy in Heauen
my strength What are mine vnited forces to sustaine so heauy a burthen of worldly miseries with such an invincible minde and peaceable patience as thou hast commaunded How can I saile in this troublesome Ocean but I must needs runne against the rockes of wofull Desperation vnlesse thou be my Pilot and guide my sterne It is fond to put any confidence in men It is vaine to put any trust in Princes For although thou hast called them Gods to teach them how high thou hast exalted them and they indeed are truly honorable that remember thee to bee the author of their exaltion yet by and by thou hast giuen them a cooling Carde to quaile and qualifie their haughtie pride telling them plainely that for all that they shall die like men and returne and be turned into dust as vvell as the meanest of the people SECTION XX. ARE my feet oh Christ like vnto the feet of a swift Hart that I should bee able to follow thee so swift a runner through the thornes and pricking Bushes of thy painefull Passion Doe I not walke vpon the Water alwayes ready to sincke with fearefull Peter vnlesse thou put forth thy powerfull hand to succour me Mat. 14.29.31 But heare my voyce oh thou Sonne of Dauid my mercifull Sauiour infuse the precious Quintessence of thy celestiall Graces into my bosome and then lay thy sweet Crosse vpon thy seruant which is the Tree of Life to them which apprehend it then as I hope I shall runne forward cheerfully and I shall carry that Crosse after thee with great willingnes which thy cruell enemies did maliciously impose vpon thee Lay that most hard Crosse I say vpon my shoulders vvhose breadth is Chastity whose length is Eternity whose height is Omnipotency whose depth is vnsearchable Wisedome Naile my hands and my feet vnto it and make thy seruant oh LORD in all things conformable to thy Passion Graunt mee oh Lord to abstaine from the works of the flesh which thou hatest and to doe righteousnesse which thou louest and in both to seeke thy glory Naile my left hand with the naile of Temperancie and my right hand with the naile of Iustice vpon that high Crosse Graunt my minde continually to meditate on thy holy Law and to cast all my cogitations vpon thee and fasten my right foot to the same tree of life with the naile of wisedome Graunt that the vnhappy happinesse of this life sliding away euery moment may not allure mee like an enticing Harlot to yeeld to the wanton inducements of carnall sensualitie and to weaken his vigour by the intemperate abuses of vnlawfull pleasures Neither let pyning cares pensiue thoughts and suddaine vnhappy chances trouble the peace of it or procure any turbulent motions but let my Spirit as well in the Sunneshine dayes of calme prosperitie as in the blustering weather of stormy aduersitie bee fastened to thy Crosse with the nailes of prudent moderation and Christian fortitude that neither in prosperitie I may soare too high with the wings of aspiring pride nor in the aduersitie bee depressed too lowe with the weight of dispairefull care But that there may appeare some similitude of the pricking thornes which pearcing the vaines of thy head made a passage for thy precious bloud to runne downe to the skirts of thy cloathing graunt I pray thee that my minde may bee so deepely wounded with the forcible compunction of healthful repentance that mine eyes may shewre downe plenty of teares to wash away the spots of my defiled Conscience So mollifie the hardenesse of my heart that it may bee pliaable to receiue the impression of tender pitty so that it may still haue a feeling compassion of other mens miserie Let an earnest zeale to emulate and imitate that which is righteous before thee so pricke forward my minde that I may alwayes place thy perfect Law before mine eyes and walke in the way of thy Commaundements and that in the extreamest fits of my greatest sorrow I may turne vnto thee for my consolation and comfort and that dispayring of my owne merit I may bee relieued by thy Mercy I am well pleased that thou put a Spunge by a Reede to my mouth and that thou giue sowre Vineger to my taste It liketh me that thou shouldest teach my reason by thy holy Word that the glorious pride of the World is nothing else but an emptie Spunge which appeareth more in shew then it is in substance and that the sweetest taste of it is more sowre then vinegar which exceedeth in sharpenesse and all the concupiscence of it more bitter then gall or worme-wood Euen so oh heauenly Father let the cup of Babilon be bitter vnto me let not the pleasant colour of the wine allure me to taste of that poysoned liquor neither let the deceitful sweetnes of it ouercome my vnderstanding nor drowne my reason as it hath done theirs which thinke darknes to be light and light to be darkenes bitter to be sweet sweet to be bitter I dare not drinke of the wine tempered with Mirrhe and mixed with gall because thou wouldest not drinke of it Mark 15.23 For thereby appeared the bitternesse of the enuy and malice which thy furious Foes did beare against thee who would afforde thee no humane pitty in thy greatest extreamitie no not so much as to giue thee a cup of sweet water Fashion thy seruant oh Lord like vnto thy quickning death that according to the flesh I may die daily crucifying my carnall lusts alwayes loathing the thing that is euill and that according to the Spirit I may daily be reuiued imbracing and louing the thing that is righteous and good And that I may reioyce to carry in me the perfect Image of thee my Lord and crucified Sauiour expresse also a similitude of that in mee which the vnsaciable crueltie of the euill ones acted against thee after thy cursed and yet most blessed death Let thy liuely and powerfull Word pierce into my side and wound my hart For thy word oh Lord will sooner enter then a double-edged sword and penetrate deeper then the sharpest speare euen to the diuision of my soule and the marrow inclosed in my bones that in steed of bloud and water there may issue forth continuall streames of loue towards thee and thy brethren So that as thou hast not spared to shed thy heart bloud for me I may alwayes be willing to expresse my gratuitie towards thee Lastly wrap my Spirit in the pure linnen cloth of thy righteous garment in which I may safely rest comming out and going into the place of thy holy Tabernacle and wherewith thou mayest hide mee vntill thine anger be appeased and thy heauy displeasure remoued But the third day after the day of labour and punishment earely in the dawning of the Sabbath day raise mee euerlastingly amongst thy children that in my flesh I may see thy brightnes and be filled with the ioy of thy countenance SECTION XXI OH my Sauiour and my God
that the infinitenesse of thy mercie may appeare the clearer in the cure of my grieuous maladie and the beames of thy glorie shine the brighter by my deliuerance Therefore I will come confidentlie vnto thee my most milde and mercifull Iesus because thy mercies are infinite that I may enioy with thee the euerlasting delights of the blessed Giue me therefore thy heauenlie bread oh my good Iesus thou which art the life of the world and graunt oh bountifull Lord that I may be enabled by thy grace to eate worthilie that I may remaine in thee eternallie and thou in mee euerlastingly for I desire this one thing it is the ioy of my heart and the contentment of my longing affections that I may dwell inseparablie with thee for euer and I will cleaue vnto none other but onely vnto thee oh my sweet Iesus because with thee is the fountaine of life and in thy light I shall see light A Meditation how the Lord Iesus fore-told his Disciples that hee should be betrayed by one of them that same night MED V. Amongst the a Mat. 26.20.21 twelue as Iesus sate at meates At his b Marke 14.14 last Supper thus to them he said Who c Luke 22.22 dips his hand in dish and with me eates By d Iohn 18.5 him the Sonne of man shall be betraid AFter our most louing and most gracious Iesus had fed his Disciples with his precious Bodie and refreshed them with his Bloud hee was troubled in spirit and said to his Disciples Verily verily I say vnto you that one of you shall betray mee which eateth with mee that the Scripture may be fulfilled he which eateth my bread shall lift vp his heele against mee Oh how hard is this saying my blessed and bountifull Sauiour Oh how harsh and bitter meats hadst thou reserued for thy Disciples at the end of thy Supper Thou didst feede them with sweet milke in the beginning and thou gauest them delicious honie in the middle when thou didst wash their feete and refreshedst them with thy precious body for their meate and with thy roiall bloud for their drinke But now in the end thou hadst reserued gall and Wormwood sowre sauce for their sweet meate when these sorrowfull words did passe out of thy blessed lips and that dreadfull speech was vttered by thy honie-flowing mouth Woe is me my sweet and louing Iesus I seeme to see the cheerefull countenance of thy deare disciples sodainely changed their hearts ouer-whelmed with floods of sorrow their mindes perplexed with excessiue griefe the heate of their desires quite extinguished and all their hopes whollie dashed so soone as those fearefull words had passed through their eares and pierced their hearts who of so sweet a beginning little expected so sowre a conclusion Had they not much matter of mourning and was it not a world of sorrow vnto them that thou being their Master Captaine Gouernour Gardian and Ruler shouldst be betraied to death and it did much more augment the matter of their woe and increase the heapes of their griefe that one of them should contriue this horrible Treason and be the Author of this bloudie attempt The first was a violent motiue to moue them to exceeding sorrow because they so dearly loued and were so entirely beloued of their louing Maister But the latter was so horrible to their eares and so terrible to their hearts that it quite abated all their former ioy vtterly amazed their perplexed mindes maruelling in their troubled cogitations who amongst such a little flocke of Sheepe should proue so woluish as to deuoure so good a Shepheard admiring that any one in their holie societie should so farre degenerate from his faithfull fidelitie as to betray the life of so bountious so milde and so mercifull a Master But heare oh my soule what his faithfull Disciples answered when they heard those lamentable words pronounced They looked one vpon another their faces being pale with feare and their hearts full fraughted with sorrow and scarcely could their tongues vtter any part of their inward griefe the floud of their woes did flow fast and rise to so high a tide in their hearts and they said with a trembling voyce what sorrowfull words are these which our deare Master doth vtter Who amongst vs shall proue such a cursed wretch as once to imagine or such a horrible traitor as once to complot such a detestable deede and execrable fact Such a hainous intention said euery one of them was farre from my thoughts such a hellish motion did neuer enter into my breast For how should such a Diuellish cogitation enter into our mindes or finde any harbour in our harts but our Lord cannot be deceiued Wherefore euery one of them turning to the Lord said Is it I Rabbi to whom blessed Iesus answered One of the twelue which dips his hand with me in the dish shall betray me But peraduenture many of them shouing their hand in the dish at that time they were not able to discerne who it should be Wherefore Iudas said What is it I Rabbi But louing Iesus otherwise not discouering him answered Thou hast said as though hee should say thou hast said and not I for we may thinke truely that if my louing Iesus had plainely discouered that cursed man to the rest of his louing and beloued Disciples they if we should compare their affections with other mens passions had not beene able to haue contained their hands but with one accord would haue assailed that most wicked traitor and haue ended his hatefull daies with a speedie death who allured with the baites of the Diuell went about to make sale of the blessed life of their deare and best beloued Maister For how wouldest thou haue beene able oh bold and couragious Peter to haue cooled the heate of thy furie and to haue held thy hands from taking vengeance vpon such a damnable Traitor when as thou didst not feare to make resistance against a great band of Souldiers in the defence of thy beloued Master For as their loue toward louing Iesus was without meane so their hatred toward hatefull Iudas would haue beene without moderation if his treacherous plot had beene openly discouered vnto them But I pray thee stay here a while oh my soule and ponder within thy inward thoughts with deuout meditation the sacred words and diuine speeches more sweet then honie the honie-combe which my most sweet Iesus vttered to his faithfull Disciples as he went to the place of his vniust apprehension which the Euangelist Iohn retaining in his memorie through the holy Ghost hath faithfully recorded in his heauenlie and most sacred Gospell Meditate there seriouslie vpon the wonderfull loue which hee had towards his loyall Disciples hee was their Lord and Master yet he did not disdaine to eate meate conforting with the meanest of them hee washed their feete hee gaue his bodie and bloud vnto them and after all these things did not cease to teach them the
so separate the vnderstanding from the loue of the world nothing doth so fortifie the minde against temptations The profitable fruits of deuout meditation nothing doth so stirre vp man and further him to euery good worke and labour as the Grace and benefit of diuine meditation and heauenly contemplation In what manner a man ought to pray deuoutly MOTIVE VIII HAue mercy vpon mee oh God because I offend there most where I ought to amend my sinnes For while I pray often in the place of prayer I doe not marke what I say I pray truly with the mouth but my minde wandering abroad I am depriued of the fruit of prayer With my body I am within but with my heart I am without And therefore I loose that I say For it profiteth little to sing or pray with the voyce onely without the deuotion of the hart Therefore it is great foolishnesse yea rather great madnesse vvhen wee doe presume to speake with the Lord of Maiestie in prayer It is presumption to pray without hearty and true deuotion and being without vnderstanding doe turne our minde from him and turne our heart I know not to what fooleries and toyes It is also great madnesse and grieuously to be punished when most vile and base dust doth disdaine to heare the Creatour of the whole world speaking to it But it is an vnspeakeable grace of the Diuine goodnesse which doth daily behold vs vnhappy vvretches turning away our eares hardning our hearts and neuerthelesse cryeth out to vs saying Returne yee Transgressors vvith your heart attend and see because I am God God speaketh to me in a Psalme neither yet when I say a Psalme doe I consider whose Psalme it is Wherefore I doe great iniurie to God when I pray to him to heare my prayer which I doe not heare my selfe who doe vtter the same I intreat him that he attend to mee The prayer of the wicked is turned into abhomination but I neither attend to my selfe nor to him but that which is farre worse by thinking filthy and vnprofitable things within my heart I bring an horrible stinke before his sight Of the instabilitie and wandering of the heart MOTIVE IX The heart of man is tossed to and fro in the stream of euill cogitations NOthing is more vnconstant instable and fugitiue in mee then my heart the which so often as it leaueth me floweth and fleeteth away by euill cogitations so often it offendeth God My heart great heart wandering vnstable while it is led by his owne will cannot remaine constant in it selfe but being more moueable then any moueable thing is distracted and drawne through infinite things and runneth vp downe hither and thither through innumerable matters And vvhile it seeketh rest and content by diuers things it cannot finde the same but continueth in the labour and turmoyle of miserie voyd of rest and contentment and seeketh here and there where it may rest and findeth nothing which may suffice it vntill it doth returne to him backe againe who gaue it It is ledde from cogitation to cogitation and it is altered and changed by diuers imployments and affections that at least it may be filled with varietie and change of those things with whose qualitie it cannot any way possibly be satisfied So the heart is troubled with it's owne illusions and fantasies The heart reuolting from God can finde no rest vntill it returne to God All that we haue is Gods owne yet hee saith giue mee thy heart the Diuine grace being remoued and substracted And when it is returned to it selfe and discusseth and examineth that vvhich it thought it findeth nothing because it was not a worke but an vnsauoury and vnseasonable thought which compoundeth and frameth many things of little or nothing at all And lastly imagination deceiueth it which the illusion of the Deuill formeth and shapeth God commaundeth me that I giue him my heart and because I am not obedient and subiect to God commanding I am rebellious and contrary to my selfe Whereby I cannot be brought in subiection to my selfe vntill I shall be subiect to him and serue my selfe with an euill will which would not serue him with a good will Therefore my heart plotteth endeauoureth and goeth about more things in one moment then all men are able to performe in a yeere I am not vnited with God and therefore I am diuided in my selfe I cannot be truly vnited with him but by loue neither be subiect to him but by humility neither can I be truly humble but by truth It is expedient therefore that I examine my selfe in Truth and know how vile how fraile how vnconstant and slipperie I am Afterwards when I shal know all my wants and miseries it is needfull that I cleaue vnto him by whom I am and without whom I am nothing and can doe nothing and because I haue departed from the Lord by sinning I cannot returne vnto him but by true confession Therefore I must now confesse in truth and sinceritie because I haue neuer confessed my sinnes in that measure and manner in which I haue sinned neither haue I remembred all eyther because of the antiquitie or multitude of them But if I haue confessed them I haue not sincerely confessed them but haue flattered the flesh in my confession and haue dealt falsely in casting vp the sum of my great and grieuous transgressions And it is a cursed dissimulation to make but a slight and counterfeit confession of our rebellions towards GOD and of our injurious and vncharitable actions towards men and onely to pare the outside of sinne away and as it were to wash our hands with a little water not to pluck vp sinne by the rootes that it may neuer afterwards grow vp in our hearts Our Confession must bee true and sincere For confession is not profitable but in the Truth and puritie of the heart that there may be three which may beare vs witnesse in Heauen The Father and the Sonne and the holy Ghost And as men haue beene beholders of our manifolde transgressions so let vs make them witnesses of our humble repentance and hartie contrition And although we must and ought to acknowledge GOD alone to bee All-sufficient to graunt vs free pardon and absolution yet wee should not refuse to shew forth manifest testimonies to men of our true and sincere Humiliation To vvhich the Apostle Saint Iames doth counsell and perswade vs saying Confesse your sinnes one to another For it is very conuenient that vvee vvhich haue beene stubborne and rebellious by sinning against GOD should be humble also towards men whom vve haue offended eyther by the euill example of our wicked life or else by our wrongfull dealing and false deeds For it is most healthfull to the soule that a man repent in heart and acknowledge his fault with his mouth so that God which is present in Mercy and Grace may pricke his heart by compunction and bitter repentance
and afterward may bee also present and ready to giue him full pardon of his sinnes But if a sinner doe truely repent and yet by some accidentall necessitie bee preuented that he cannot make any acknowledgement to such men as he hath offended we must confidently beleeue that whatsoeuer is defectiue in him concerning such acknowledgement is fulfilled by Christ who hath made a full satisfaction For GOD accepteth that as done which a man hath beene willing although not able to performe That Sinne is not to be excused MOTIVE X. IN the account of my sinnes where I should haue amended I haue augmented my sinnes and added sinnes to sinnes When I haue beene accused of them I haue eyther by some meanes excused them An vnrelenting sinner will either cunningly excuse or flatly deny his sinne or wholy denied them or that which is worst I haue maintained and defended them and haue answered impatiently when indeed there is no sinne with which I am not or may not be polluted It is iust therefore all occasion being remooued that I promise amendment howsoeuer or of whatsoeuer I am accused to the end that I may be deliuered from sinne committed or to be committed What a great euill it is not to correct or reprehend others MOTIVE XI I Greatly dreading the multitude of my owne iniquities haue beene afrayd to reprehend the transgressions of others By silence we make our selues guiltie of other mens sinnes when wee ought to admonish or correct them and therfore haue beene the Author of death because I haue not expelled the poyson which I might haue purged by crying out vnto them I haue stormed against others and haue beene incensed with furie when they haue reprehended me for my vices and I haue hated them whom I ought to haue loued I desired that those things might not be which did hurt or displease me Neuerthelesse I did know that in their owne Nature they vvere good and made of a good Maker and therefore they did hurt mee because I was euill and did vse them euilly For nothing is contrary or hurtfull to my selfe Good things are made euill by abuse but I my selfe For that is with mee and in mee vvhatsoeuer is able to hurt mee and I my selfe am a burthen to my selfe I wished also that God might not know my sinnes or that hee would not or could not punish them and so I would haue God to be foolish vniust and impotent Which if hee were hee were not a God There is no Pride aboue my Pride therefore the words of my transgressions are farre from my saluation Pride and God cannot dwell together For Pride is suspected and hatefull to GOD neither can it be that it may returne into fauour vvith him They lodge in diuers Innes neither doe they dwell together in one and the same minde vvhich might not dwell together in HEAVEN Shee was borne in Heauen but being as it were vnmindefull by what way shee fell from thence shee hath not beene able to returne thither afterward When as the Ayre hath beene at sometime troubled with Raine or else with too much colde or heat I murmured wickedly against God For all things which we receiued for the vse of life wee reuert or rather peruert to the vse of wickednesse Wherefore it is iust that vvee which haue sinned in all things be smitten and wounded in all things Oftentime in singing diuine Psalmes God more respecteth a true mourning heart then a sweet melodious voyce I was more delighted with the tune of my voyce then in the compunction of my heart But God to whom nothing is hidden vvhich is wickedly committed doeth not so much require the sweetnesse of the voyce as the purity of the heart For while the Singer doth tickle delight the people with melodious voyces he mooueth God to wrath with his euill conditions I haue oftentimes extorted of my Gouernours and Rulers license to speake or to doe something by ouermu h importunitie or by crafty subtilty not considering miserable wretch that hee couseneth and deceiueth himselfe vvhich laboureth priuily or secretly that the Magistrate or Minister may enioyne him that vvhich may best sort and most please his corrupt desire I haue often coueted and desired a Needle or a Knife or some base thing and I haue not beene touched with any sense of sorrow for my couetous desire because I did not esteeme it a sinne by reason of the basenesse of the matter Concupiscence is not to be iudged by the estimation of the thing but by the corruption of the desire But there is no great difference what substance so euer be desired base or precious if the affection be equally corrupted For the Knife is not in fault but the couetous desire of the Knife is to be condemned Neither is Gold in fault but the greedie desire of Gold is vitious and sinfull In my labour I haue not laboured so much as I should or so much as I could In silence also I haue beene idle which is a most great sinne For in silence no man ought to be so idle that in the same leasure he thinketh not on the profit of his Neighbour nor so busied that he require not the Meditation and contemplation of God For hee doth not profit himselfe much which doeth not profit another when he may I haue boasted my selfe of my Vices thinking that to be a signe of Vertue which was a criminall Trespasse Of Vertues also I haue made Vices For Iustice while it exceedeth due mediocritie and measure ingendreth the Vice of all bad and hatefull cruelty and too much pittie bringeth forth the dissolution and ouerthrow of discipline and necessarie correction so oftentimes that is vice which is supposed to be vertue Vices are taken or rather mistaken for vertues So carelesse remisnesse is supposed to be gentle mildnesse and the vice of sloathfulnesse doth imitate the vertue of quietnesse I fained my selfe to be that vvhich I was not or that I would not do that which I would said one thing vvith my mouth and willed another thing in my heart and so vnder the skin of a Sheepe I shrowded the conscience indeede of a subtill Foxe * Notes of a deceitfull Conscience For indeede a luke-warme conuersation and a more naturall and corrupt cogitation ioyned vvith a fained confession a short compunction obedience vvithout deuotion prayer vvithout earnest intention reading vvithout edifying speech without carefull circumspection are properties of a Fox-like and crafty conscience Oh how hard are these things to mee which I speake because I smite wound my selfe by speaking them notwithstanding because I doe not denie my selfe to be a sinner but doe acknowledge my sinne peraduenture the acknowledgement of my faults shall be the obtaining of my pardon with GOD a mercifull and pittifull Iudge The confession of sinnes is a ready way to obtaine remission Therefore I will declare my miserie if peraduenture his kindnesse and pittie may