began to speak and of whom I had taken no notice till now they are not too great for Almighty Power to conquer nor yet too many for Divine goodness to forgive he hath Strength enough to subdue all your Corruptions and Mercy enough to Pardon all your Crimes your Sins are great indeed but his Mercies are greater for they are Infinite your Sins are many and increased to a great number but his Mercies are more for they are numberless the cry of thy Sins are reached up to Heaven but his Mercies are above the Heavens now therefore take courage and adventure to cast thy self at his Feet and lie at his Mercy and do as the Church we Read of in Divine Story did cry after him my Father my Father the hope of his Youth Oh said he this is good Council and I would to God I could do according to it but I cannot Oh I cannot do it Nay then said Conscience I denounce thee to be a Wicked and an Accursed Wretch Cursed in time and Cursed in Eternity for the great Lawgiver whose Vicegerent I am hath declared in the Records of his Law that whosoever continues not in every thing that is written in the Book of the Law to do them is accursed and I who being a Witness of and having Recorded all thy Wicked and Prophane Actions am impowered with Authority from him to pass Judgment upon thee do declare that thou hast not continued in all things that are written in the Book of the Law to do them and therefore thou art the Man which the Righteous Judge of Heaven and Earth hath denounced Accursed nay if it be possible thou art more than Accursed for first thou hast not only not continued in all things written in the Book of the Law to do them but thou hast continued in nothing that is written in the Book of the Law to do it there is not one Command in the whole Book of the Law but what thou hast violated and broken thou hast wickedly and wilfully acted contrary to all its Rules and Rebelled against every Precept contained therein And Secondly thou hast not only done all this but when the Offenced Majesty of Heaven and Earth had out of the good Pleasure of his Will Graciously provided a Remedy in the Person of the Redeemer offerring that he should by his Infinite Merits make a full satisfaction to Divine Justice for the wrong which thou hadst done and which was so great that you as a Finite Creature were not able to satisfie any otherwise than by suffering the Vengeance of Eternal Fire and that you should moreover upon your accepting of and imbraceing this offered Redeemer become reconciled to him and injoy all the Felicity and Glories of Heaven you disdainfully scorned and slighted them rejecting the Council of God against thy self now therefore if those who are altogether ignorant of this Saviour and by reason of their living in Heathenish or Mahometan Regions have never received the offer of a Blessed Redeemer are accursed and must suffer the Sentence of Eternal Damnation How much sorer Punishment think you will you be thought worthy of who have spurned against the very Bowels of Mercy trampled under Foot the Offers of Pardon and spit in the very Face of a Tender and Compassionate Saviour Ah Sir said he all that you have said I acknowledge to be true and it all helps still to aggravate my Misery and heighten my Offence and makes my Crimes too great to be Pardoned But pray Sir said Mr. Hope let me prevail with you to cast your self on the Merits of our Saviour and lye at the Fountain of Mercy In the Condition wherein you now are you must of necessity be for ever Miserable you can be no more if we suppose the worst that you should not be accepted Oh therefore resolve that if thou must Perish thou wilt Perish at the Fountain of free Grace and if thou must be cast away tell him whose goodness is as large as his power and knows no other limits than his own Omnipotency that thou art resolved it shall be upon the very Shore of that Ocean which is so full of Mercy that its Depth is unfathomable and its Breadth unmeasurable and let me tell thee for thy further incouragement that although thou canst hear nothing from the Eternal now but Vengeance is mine and I will repay it saith the Lord I will tear you in pieces and there shall be none to deliver there is no Peace to the Wicked saith my God and although the Sinner live to be an hundred years old he shall be accursed so are the Paths of all them who forget God and the hope of the Hypocrite shall perish yet if you will fly to the City of Refuge and get the Son of the Blessed to Interceede for thee thou wilt then find him speaking to thee in another kind of Dialect and he will tell thee that he was indeed angry with thee but his Anger is now appeased he was thine Enemy but he is now become thy everlasting Friend his Hatred and his Vengeance his Justice and his Fury was to have been thy Portion but now his Goodness and his Love shall be thine Eternal Inheritance you shall be an Instrument of my Honour in this World and I will make thee a Vessel of Glory in the other I will Bless you with my special presence in thy Soul and that shall both fit and prepare thee for and be an assurance and earnest of the injoyment of my immediate Presence in Heaven I will teach thee so to order thy Conversation aright that at the end of it I may shew thee my Salvation the fulness of my Son and the Alsufficiency of my self shall be an inexhaustible and overflowing Fountain to thee Now prethee tell me continued he is not all this worth the adventuring for Yes reply'd he it is and Oh that I could follow your Advice but there are so many Discouragements that I cannot adventure No said Conscience then I tell thee that thou art the most hardned and impenitent wretch that ever I met with in my whole life I tell you your danger Mr. Judgment hath informed you how to prevent it and here is your good Friend Mr. Hope gives you all the incouragement that can possibly be expected or desired to make tryal of his Advice Pray let me have your Answer what you do intend to do in this Case for I must not nor will not be thus put off with delays any longer Awake and rouse up thy self thou hast been often complaining of and lamenting thy Base Vain and Earthly Heart and bitterly Exclaimed against thy Sloathful Lingering Careless and Delaying Temper hast often been wishing that things were and hoping that they would one day be better with thee promising thy self that it will not be always thus with thee but that thou shalt some time or other get rid of thy intanglements and go thy Pilgrimage but Oh what if thou shouldest
after all this wishing and woulding and hoping and expecting it to be better with thee let things run on thus from Day to Day and so from one Year to another until thou art surprized by the King of Terrors and be by him hurried away before ever thou art come to a point or made any resolution what to resolve on or hast gotten thy Heart to a through and a saving closing with the Redeemer Oh now consider what will become of thee if the Case should be so with thee dost thou think that thy Golden or Silver Key will open the Gates of Heaven and shut the Gates of Hell to thee or purchase thee an Inheritance in the Promised Land or canst thou be so Vain and so Foolish as to imagine that the remembrance of thy ease thy pleasure or thy plenty here will alleviate thy Pain or procure thee any kind or manner of ease in thy Eternal Dolours or yield any Comfortable or Refreshing Consolations to thy miserable Soul when it lies Broiling upon the Hot and Scorching Coals of Divine Fury and Frying in the Burning Flame Thou art by this shuffleing and procrastinating Guilty of Monstrous Madness and Folly and art so Mercilesly cruel to thy self that the very Angels blush at thee and are ashamed of thy Brutishness and even the Heavens and the Earth are Amazed and all the Creatures stand Astonished at it This Discourse made him Tremble exceedingly and very much revived his Convictions again and he solemnly promised Conscience that he would now resolve to go on Pilgrimage and promised to begin his Journey on the Morrow protesting that he did really intend to do as he said wherewith Conscience being satisfied held his Peace for that time I looked still when Mr. Affection should have appeared and have Contributed something towards so good a Work since he had formerly been so much for and promised such large Assistance in the performing the Pilgrimage to Celestial Paradise but upon inquiring into it I found he was wholly taken off and diverted by the late Reconciled Companion and so fallen in Love and taken up with him that he had not time or leisure to look towards or so much as think of Paradise but instead thereof as soon as he saw Conscience and the Man was parted he presently stept to him and indeavoured to disswade him from it telling him what new Delights and Sweetness their Friend Fansie had found out in other Objects especially in that which you wot of said he to which I perceive you are by his means together with some little Assistances contributed towards it by my self and Mr. Heart almost wholly reconciled again And Phansie being by seconded him Representing and Guilding things over with such Artificial Glosses and Smooth Appearances of Delight and Advantage that the poor Man was absolutely bewitched and Inchanted thereby so that he presently forgot all the Terrors of Conscience and all the Solemn Promises and Protestations he had made but just before of beginning his Pilgrimage the next Day which made me think of what I had formerly read in Drexelius his excellent Treatise of Eternity I will to morrow that I will I will be sure to do it To morrow comes to morrow goes And still thou art to do it And thus Repentance is deferr'd From one day to another Until the day of Death doth come And Judgment is the other But yet the free Grace and Goodness of him whose Name is I am whose Love is unchangeable and Mercy so unsearchable that it is past finding out and who doth whatsoever he pleases being moved and inclined to do all that he doth only by the Dictates of his own Counsel and the good pleasure of his Will would not suffer it to be so with this Man resolving as I did perceive that the Prince of Darkness should not make a Prey of him nor would he permit him to erect Trophies of Honour and Triumph to himself upon this Mans Overthrow and Ruine notwithstanding the poor wretch himself was freely willing to be a Slave and Vassal with quiet rather than be a King with some little hazard and danger in the Way through which he must pass to his Coronation Wherefore he sent Boanerges to him again Commanding him to Preach another Lecture about the danger and dreadfulness of his Condition and to denounce Judgment against him if he did not immediately Repent and fly to the City of Refuge Having received this Command he presently obeyed and thus he began Thou Wicked Vile and Miserable Wretch said he that hast been so ungrateful as to slight and refuse the Offers of Mercy and Pardon and hast like an hardened wretch made the Son of the Blessed whose Countenance is White and Ruddy and his Person altogether Lovely being the chiefest of ten thousands and in point of Excellency infinitely beyond Comparison stand knocking at thy Door Intreating Perswading and Wooing thee for admittance into thy Heart and a Grant of thy Love until his Head was wet with the Dew and his Locks with the Drops of the Night The Prince of Peace will shortly therefore appear against thee as a Rageing and a Devouring Lion and shall come from Heaven with his Mighty Angels in Flaming Fire to take Vengeance on thee because thou knowest not God nor wilt yield Obedience to the Gospel and shall punish thee with an everlasting Destruction from the presence of the Lord and from the Glory of his Power and Oh how amazing and cuttingly will the very first appearance of the Son af Mans coming in the Clouds with Power and great Glory strike into thy Guilty and Self Condemned Heart then thou wilt begin with inexpressible Grief and Bitterness of Spirit to sigh and say within thy self Oh that strong and Terrible Judge whom I now see sitting down upon yonder Flaming White and Glorious Throne accompanied with all the Blessed Inhabitants and Shining Courtiers of Heaven is that same Blessed Redeemer and Mighty God the Prince of Peace that sweetest Lamb who did most Graciously power out his most precious Blood like Water for me that I might thereby have been Washed and Cleansed Sanctified and Saved and he it was who so fairly and frequently Invited and Wooed me with the most Powerful and Charming Arguments and Tearms of Dearest Love but only to abandon my Lust and bid Adieu to the Prince of Darkness who was my implacable Enemy and then sought and hath now together with my own wilfulness accomplished my utter Ruine promising that if I would give my Consent he even he would become my Alsufficient and Everlasting Husband and if I had then accepted it he would now at this very time have placed an Immortal and Splendid Crown of Heavenly Bliss and Matchless Glory upon my Head with his own Almighty Hand But wo and alas I like a wilful foolish and desperate wretch neglected this great Salvation forsook my own Mercy and so judged my self unworthy of Eternal Life and like a Cruel and Bloody Butcher
therefore unless you intend go through a by way to Tophet and Perish as certainly as if you had never set a step or moved a foot towards Paradise look beyond us and flee to the only Refuge that can secure you from the Avenger of Blood who is still in pursuit of thee and will certainly and suddenly overtake thee if thou stayest here Oh therefore be advised before he lay hold of thee and Sheath the Sword of Justice thy Bowels You may well imagine that the hearing those terrible unpleasing and unexpected Lectures where he expected to find nothing but Peace and Tranquility and a perpetual safety from that Desolation and Wo which he found himself notwithstanding still subject to and was threatned and denounced against him with as much terror and fiereeness as ever filled his very Soul with trouble and grief and almost overwhelmed his Spirits with sorrow the Arrows of the Almighty stuck fast within him and the Poison thereof had almost drank up his Spirits all which brought him into such inconceivable and inexpressible perplexities that I can far better conceive of them my self than I can relate them to you the truth is the poor Man knew not what to do being almost at his Wits Ends and upon the very Brink and Border of Despair whereupon I saw him rouse himself and fall more roundly to Work with Prayer and fasting keeping the Sabbath and hearing of Sermons frequenting of Lectures and Christian Conferences and like the Marriners in a Storm and ready to Perish he cast away and abandoned many of those things which hitherto had been pleasant and delightful but now he found them to be burdensome and dangerous to him notwithstanding all which no Peace Comfort or Consolation could he obtain for although he followed hard after them they fled so fast from him that he could not possibly overtake them whereupon he began to expostulate with himself after this manner Unhappy Man that I am while I remained in my Course of Sin and Wickedness I could not be at quiet for Conscience who harrased me continually to leave my danceing about the Pit which was as he affirmed and as I am apt to believe Bottomless and now I have complyed with his Advice I cannot as yet obtain any Peace in my Soul what can possibly be the reason or occasion thereof I wish I have not mistaken the Way which I was directed to take and am got into some other Path which leads not to Celestial Paradise but to some other place but I certainly think it cannot be so for I remember that I have always been told by those who have been well acquainted with the Way and are appointed by the King of the Countrey to be Guides to those who Travel thither that Praying Hearing the Word and other such like Holy Exercises wherein I now Employ my self lead directly towards Paradise and yet my Heart misgives me that this cannot be the Way because I remember also that they used to describe the Ways of Paradise to be Ways of Pleasantness and all the Paths therein to be Paths of Peace But to the trouble and disquiet of my Soul I can find no such thing by those ways wherein I now am And then directing himself to the Eternal he said O Lord rebuke me not in thine Anger neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure for thine Arrows stick fast in me and thy Hand presseth me sore there is no soundness in my Flesh because of thine Anger neither is there any rest in my Bones because of my Sin for thou hast brought all mine Iniquities upon my Head as a heavy burden they are too heavy for me to bear my Wounds stink and are corrupt because of my Foolishness I am troubled I am bowed down greatly I go Mourning all the day long my Loins are filled with a loathsome Disease and there is no soundness in my Flesh I am feeble and sore broken I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my Soul but thou O Lord knowest all my desires and my groanings are not hid from thee my Heart panteth and my Strength faileth me as for the light of my Eyes also it is gone from me I am ready to halt and my sorrow is ever before me wherefore I will declare my Iniquities and be sorry for my Sin and I will hope in thy Mercy O Lord the sorrows of Hell hath compassed me about and the floods of desolation make me afraid the sorrows of Hell hath invironed me and the snares of Death prevented me but in my distress I will call upon thee O Lord and cry unto thee O God thou God of my Salvation to whom alone is all my desire and in whom alone is all my relief and succour direct me O God my strength guide me into the way of Holiness and lead me into the Path wherein thou wouldest have me to walk I am feeble do thou uphold me my Feet are ready to slip but do thou establish me for thou O Lord art my Rock upon which I lean and stay my self thou art my Strength and my Redeemer I am O Lord like a weaned Child aukward and unskilful to tread in these Paths which are altogether new and unusual to me but do thou graciously condescend according to thy promise to lead me by the Hand and teach me to go Oh leave me not until thou hast conducted me into the way of Life which leads to the Heavenly Paradise and lest there should be any thing in me that may peradventure occasion my falling short of that blessed place do thou enter into me and search my Heart and try my Reins O God and if thou findest any evil way in me purge it away with the Blood of thy Son and guide me into the way everlasting After this I saw that he was somewhat more chearful than before but it lasted not long for as he afterwards told one of his Friends in my hearing he had something within him which continually cry'd unto him Away Man and flee for thy life for thou art not yet safe from the Avenger who is yet in pursuit after thee and if thou escape not quickly he will certainly lay hold on thee and thou shalt Perish as surely and much more fatally than if thou hadst never made any one step towards an escape which did terrifie him exceedingly and made him rore out and cry for help to him who has stiled himself the God of help and promised to be a present help in time of trouble saying In the day of trouble call upon me and I will deliver thee so shalt thou glorifie me Cast thy Burden upon the Lord and he shall sustain thee commit thy way unto to the Lord and he shall direct thy Paths Trust thou in him and rely on him only and he also will bring it to pass Here Conscience interrupted him somewhat abruptly and said I cannot but wonder at thy desperate madness and folly in that thou still abusest the Divine
Man till that time when he shewed him the Gate and directed him the Way to it helpt him to lay hold of a certain Post placed there on purpose for the help and stay of all those who pass the Gate the Name of it is Him that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out And I saw as he passed through the Gate he received new Garments wherewith being arrayed he seemed like another Man appearing much more Beautiful and Comely than before But that which appeared to me to be most admirable and strange I beheld while his Heart was taken out and another which was a new one put into him which although the Prince of Darkness supposed to have been done before when the Man first began to think of forsaking his Service and turning out of the broad way yet it was not really changed and renovated until this very Moment The Old Heart which was taken out of him was a perfect Stone as solid as a Rock and as hard as the nether Milstone But the New Heart was a Heart of Flesh being tender soft and pliable and thereby fit to receive the Sacred impressions of the Divine Will and made capable of receiving and retaining the Image of our sweet Redeemer which I then saw the Eternal stamp upon it with his own Almighty Hand And I saw him as soon as he was got through the Gate bow himself down to the Earth and Worship the Son of the Blessed and lying prostrate on the Ground before him he said as follows Almighty and Eternal God thou King of Kings and Prince of Peace whose Greatness and Power is Infinite whose Glory and Majesty is Incomprehensible whose Goodness and Mercy is unconceiveable upon thy frequent and often reiterated gracious Invitations to come unto thee and thereby be at once secured from everlasting Ruine and Misery and Intituled to and assured of Eternal Salvation and Happiness I am now come in according to thy Command and in the most humble manner imaginable prostrating my self before thy Footstool I acknowledge my self by Nature to be a most Wicked Filthy Polluted and Undone Wretch being born a Stranger an Enemy and a Traytor to thee and by that Original Guilt which I contracted in the very Womb inclined to do Wickedly and Sin against thee as naturally as Fire produces heat or the Sparks fly upwards and that I was therefore bound over by a most Just and otherwise than by thy Merits Irreversible Sentence to Eternal Damnation and I found by woful experience that I as Naturally tended to and as freely moved towards the Burning Lake as the Stone doth towards its Center having moreover by my Wicked course and conversation continued my Rebellions against thee and thereby rendred my self ten thousand fold more the Child of Hell having by rushing into Sinful Courses and Working Wickedness with both Hands greedily heaped up unto my self Wrath against the Day of Wrath and as if all these Offences were not enough I have committed a far greater by Sinning against the Remedy and refusing tenders of Grace and Mercy Pardon and Reconciliation which thou wert pleased to make me preposterously resolving rather to be a sordid Slave to my own Lusts and Corruptions a miserable Vassal to the Prince of Darkness an Heir of everlasting Misery and an Eternal Companion for the Damned than admit to be made free indeed a Son of the Eternal an Heir of the Heavenly Glory and an everlasting Associate with an innumerable Company of Angels and Glorified Saints that Blessed Assembly and Church of the First Born which are written in Heaven basely and bitterly opposing thy Blessed Kingdom indeavouring to hinder the promoting thy Interest the Purity Spirituallity and Holy Preciseness whereof I abhorred and detested as quite contrary to my Vile Base Carnal Heart and those Sensual Pleasures and Worldy Contentments into which I had most desperately cast my self cruelly Persecuting all thy Embassadours and trampled under Foot the Blood of the Covenant which should have Sanctified and Saved me Notwithstanding all which such is thy astonishing Grace and Goodness so unparallel'd thy Love that thou still declarest thy self willing to become my Saviour and Redeemer appease the Anger and satisfie the Fury of the Eternal against me and reconcile me to him if I would but give my consent thereunto wherefore I call Heaven and Earth to record and conjure all the Creatures therein to Witness this Day that I do here with all the Powers of my Heart give my full and free consent to the same accepting of thee as the only New and Living way whereby I can possibly obtain access to the Father and upon the bended knees of my Soul I do here freely and willingly give up and joyn my self to thee in a Marriage Covenant the Obligation whereof shall be perpetually unalterable Wherefore O thou Anointed of the Father I now come to thee a Hungry Distressed Thirsty Soul a Poor Wretched Miserable Blind and Naked Creature a most Filty Loathsom and Poluted Wretch a Guilty and Condemned Traytor unfit for the meanest Office in thine House and unworthy to wash the Feet of the very lowest of thy Servants and therefore Infinitely more unworthy and unfit to be Solemnly Contracted and Married to the Majesty of Heaven and Earth But yet since such is thy unparallel'd Love and unmerited Goodness that thou wilt have it so I do here with all possible Veneration and with the firm and settled Resolution of my Heart accept thee to the utmost of my Power freely consenting to and acquiescing in the admirable Contrivance of Divine Wisdom to save me by thy Righteousness and Merit and take thee for my Head and Husband my Hope and my Happiness my Portion and my Shield and I do declare my self freely content to take thee for better for worse for Richer and for Poorer for all times and Conditions whatsoever promising both in Prosperity and Adversity to Love Honour and Obey thee before all others and that to the very Death I accept of and Imbrace thee in all thine Offices I disown my own Merit and freely declare my self empty of all manner of worthiness and do here avow thee to be the Lord my Righteousness I do renounce my own Wisdom and do here take thee for my only Guide I renounce my own Will and do here take thy Will for my Law and the only Rule of my Faith and Life And since I am perfectly satisfied that suffering is the way to Reigning the Cross the way to the Crown and that I must through manifold Tribulations inherit the Kingdom I do here oblige my self by this Covenant to take my Lot as it falls and resolve by the Assistance of Divine Grace to run all manner of hazzards with thee verily supposing and assuring my self that neither Life nor Death nor any Afliction or trouble whatsoever shall ever be able to part between thee and me And because thou hast graciously given me thy Holy Laws and the Commands
for ever or wilt thou resolve to be favourable no more Is thy mercy clean gone for ever And shall thy promises fail for evermore Hast thou forgotten to be gracious Or wilt thou in anger shut up the Bowels of thy tender compassions Wilt thou who art the God of Grace refuse to be gracious The Fountain of Mercy cease to be Merciful Hast Thou not said in the Records of thy Law that Thou wilt not be alwaies Wrath neither wilt Thou keep Thy Anger for ever lest the spirit fail before Thee and the Soul which Thou hast made And then applying himself to the Son of the Blessed Lord said he Didst not Thou assume me in the day when Thou enteredst into Covenant with me and permittedst me to enter into Covenant with Thee That Thou wouldst become my High Priest and Advocate and that as Thou hadst shed thy most precious Blood as a Sacrifice to Attone for my sins so Thou wouldst appear before thy Father as my Advocate and plead that Blood and the Merits of it to appease his Anger and turn away his displeasure against me and Procure me Pardon and forgiveness from him and Reconciliation with him And wilt Thou now when I am confounded in my self and even environed and overwhelmed with Despair having no hope or possibility of finding relief any where but in thy self forget thy Promise and prove worse then thy Word Wilt Thou because I have wickedly and most perfidiously broken my Covenant break thine too Sure it cannot be for thou art the same for ever and canst not change wherefore thou Blessed Jesus thou sweet Redeemer of my Soul I will by thy own Assistance for without it I am sure I shall not be able resolve with an humble boldness to act Faith in thy Promises lay hold on thy Covenant and hang upon the words of thy lips as the Bee doth on the flower from whence she extracts a sweetness wherewith the dews of Heaven hath replenish'd it And according to thy own directions I will now take unto my self words and say unto thee Lord Pardon thou my iniquities and receive me graciously Heal thou my Backslidings and love me freely And do thou who art so Eloquent and Powerful an Orator that thy Father can deny thee nothing Who art so wise an Advocate that none of thy Clients did or shall lose their Cause so prevailing an Intercessor that whatsoever thou Intercedest for and what request soever thou makest on the behalf of thy Members is fully and immediately granted go to the Eternal and plead my Cause at at his Bar and when Thou hast there procured Pardon and Reconciliation for me then send thy Spirit to convey the knowledge and comfortable Assurance thereof unto my Soul that so thou maist cause my heart to sing for joy and put a new song of Praise and Thanksgiving into my mouth that I may rejoice in the Lord and triumph in God my Saviour Amen Amen And methoughts I saw him rise from his knees in a most Humble Serious and sedate Frame having his heart enlarged lifted up to Heaven in Holy and desires and yet his eyes cast down to the Earth as being both ashamed for his having so shamefully Backsliden from and prevaricated with the Infinite Jehovah the Eternal Majesty of Heaven and Earth and withal not absolutely freed as yet from all manner of fear diffidence and doubtings whether the Eternal would be reconciled to him or whether the Blessed Redeemer would intercede for him and endeavor to prevail with the Eternal to consent to a reconciliation having as he afterwards told some of his fellow Pilgrim many mis-givings of Heart that they would never give him credit or trust him more since he had falsified his word violated his promises and broken his Covenant with them so often before wherefore plucking the memorial of his Covenant out of his bosom he first read it over and then began to examine himsef what parts of it he had broken and tried convicted and condemned himself for the same And having so done I heard him say thus to himself Well! since it is so that I have been so foolish and unwary as to suffer my self to be thus wheadled by my subtle Adversary to dally and play with that which I thought I had Eternally shaken hands with and had firmly resolved to have no more to do with it for ever and I am not able to obtain any Assurance within my self whether I am in a state of Grace nor yet whether I am Pardoned by the Eternal for thus Backsliding from him I will now therefore resolve to enter into Covenant anew as if I had never done it before I will give up and make a Resignation of my self to the Blessed Redeemer as tho' all I had hitherto done in that respect were false and fained And when I have done this then I will see if I can take more heed to my ways be more careful to maintain a stricter and more Spiritual Government over my thoughts and affections Whereupon kneeling down before the Eternal he opened the paper and having spread it before him he first bewailed with shame and sorrow his Violation thereof freely acknowledging and confessing his Guilt and that he had thereby justly deserved to be Eternally forsaken by and banish'd the Presence of the Eternal for ever And then he silently sighed out his humble Request That Free Grace might notwithstanding Reprieve and Pardon him and the Divine Goodness Heal and Restore him Then I heard him read over the Conditions of his Covenant and saw him when he had so done in the most Solemn manner imaginable present it to the Divine Majesty as his act and deed setting his hand and subscribing his Name to it as he had done at the first Whereupon methoughts I looked up and saw The Son of the Blessed stand by the Golden Altar which was erected before the Throne of God having a Golden Censor in his hand which was full of incense wherewith he offered up the Prayers and Desires of Believers upon the Golden Altar which was before the Throne and the smoke of the Incense which came with the Prayers of Believers and ascended up before the Eternal out of the hand of the Blessed Redeemer who is the compassionate Advocate and merciful High Priest of all relenting and returning Pilgrims wherewith the Eternal was to exceedingly well pleased that all his frowns were thereby presently changed into smiles his Anger into Love and his indignation into Compassion so that he now spake kindly to believers returning the words of Peace and Truth and comforting him that was cast down saying unto him Behold I have called thee as a man calleth a Woman that was forsak'n and greived in spirit and a wife of youth when thou wast refused saith thy God for a small moment have I forsaken thee but with great mercy will I gather thee in little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment but with Everlasting kindness will I
have mercy on thee saith the Lord thy Redeemer And the Covenant between us shall be as the waters of Noah shall no more go over the Earth so have I Sworn that I would not be wrath with thee nor rebuke thee The Mountains shall depart and the Hills they shall be removed but my kindness shall not depart from thee nor shall the Covenant of my Peace ever be removed saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee Thou hast indeed played the Harlot gone a whoring from me and embraced strangers whereby thou hast deserved no better at my hands than that I should write thee a Bill of Divorcement put thee away and resolve never to own thee again But yet fear not for I have Pardoned thee and have covered thy shame with the skirt of my Love so that thou shalt forget thy shame thy unfaithfulness and shalt not remember the reproach of thy Widowhood any more for thy Maker is thy Husband the Lord of Hosts is his Name and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel whose Truth is established for ever and his Faithfulness to all generations wherefore art thou afflicted tossed with tempest and not comforted Behold I will lay thy Stones with fair Colours and thy Foundation with Saphires And now if thou wilt take care to keep close to me and be unfaithfull no more then will I also resolve never to withdraw the sense of my Love and the Light of my Countenance from thee any more for ever And now I saw upon this Reconciliation the Eternal Spirit who was the Director Reliever and Comforter of his Soul return to him again being sent from the Redeemer to acquaint him with and assure him of that Reconciliation which he had by his efficacious and prevailing Mediation procured for him with his Father and to fill and feast his Soul with comfort joy and consolation upon that account and assist him in the preserving himself in the Divine favour for the future whereupon I heard him break forth into such sweet and Heavenly Expressions as these Lord said he how infinite is thy Condescention and how wonderful is thy Love How unfathomable is thy Mercy And how unwearied is thy Patience O that ever such a Backsliding wretch such a worthless Worm such a Rebel Traytor and Prodigal as my self should be again received to Mercy O what a wonder 't is that ever such Backslidings as mine were should be healed That ever such unfaithfulness should be Pardoned That ever such Ungratefulness should be forgiven but since thou hast declared that it is so and hast assured me of the Truth and certainty thereof both by the Word and Oath of him that cannot lye I Believe Lord help thou my unbelief And now O my God and my Father I do with all humble Boldness lay hold of and thankfully receive these renewings of thy Love and fresh assurances of thy Favour and Friendship which thou hast at this time graciously sent me and do as the most suitable return which my poverty is capable of making to thy Infinite and unmerited Love subject my Soul and all the powers of it to thee to be disposed of as thou pleasest and ordered and directed in all things according to the pleasure of thy will In order whereunto I do with all humble Boldness and firm Resolution lay hold of thee O my God! and of that Covenant which thou hast made with me both as my happiness and my safety my portion and my strength too And thou and the Covenant which thou hast made with me and now renewed to me shall be that Rock whereon I will build all my confidence and hopes and make the stay of my Heart and the support of my Soul that shall be the very life of my joyes and the joy even of my life it self where I will for ever sit and Sing under the Shadow of thy branches with great delight and thy fruit shall be sweet to my tast There even there I will behold the Glory of thy Face and veiw the ravishing Beauty of thy Countenance and satiate my Love-sick Soul with the matchless Greatness and Bravery freeness sweetness and redundancy of thy Joy And now methoughts I saw him go forward in his Pilgrimage with more speed and diligence than ever and with such an addition of strength that notwithstanding he met with innumerable discouragements and every step brought him into new and more threatening dangers both from Earth and Hell which with one accord united and banded together to obstruct and retard his passage yet he couragiously trampled them under foot and with ease and facility passed through them towards the promised Land And now after he had marched thus rejoycing and triumphing in God for some time I saw an Embassador come from the King of Kings and invite him with many other Pilgrims whom he had now overtaken again to a noble and splendid Feast at the Kings Table A Feast of fat things and wine on the Lees fat things full of marrow and wine on the Lees well refined He gladly accepted of and embraced the Invitation But yet I observed he durst not adventure to go to the Kings Table before he had first read over the Memorial of his Covenant examined himself how he had kept it Consest his prevarications with sorrow and Repentance and then protesting the Resolutions of his Soul to be more strict and yield better obedience for the future again set his hand and subscribed his name to it as before And having thus renewed his Covenant with the Eternal he went and sate down with the rest at the King's Table where I saw him present the same to the King begging that he might have the Seal of it Renewed likewise which was presently granted And now methoughts I could discern him to eat more heartily and drink more freely at the Kings Table then I had seen him do at other times when he was invited thither and when the Feast was over he went away likewise filled with a Joy as far exceeding what he had formerly expressed as the Joy of Harvest exceeds that of the Seed time or the Joy of Marriage transcends those that flow only from the first overtures of it And as I afterwards heard him acknowledge in a Conference he had with some of the Pilgrims it was the most ravishing and transforming Glimpse and the sweetest and the most satisfying Taste of that Eternal Felicity and Delight that is to be had in the Celestial Paradice In this sweet and Heavenly Frame he continued a long time still calling to his fellow Pilgrims and telling them the greatness of those Joys and the sweetness of that pleasure which the Eternal poured into his Soul and would frequently say O what a wonder it is that Divine patience hath born with me thus long Methinks it is a wonder that the Eternal should not feed me with Wrath with Gall and Wormwood with fire and Brimstone and that he hath not Cloathed me with fury and flames with