Advantage her much bewailed Death to prepare for which had been her daily work for many Years which happened February the 23d this present Year 1690. Her Sickness was short but blessed be God her great Work was not then to do She began to complain Wednesday Noon but dined with me took her Bed that Afternoon with design to sweat with a Dose of the Lady Kent's Powder but could not sweat I sent for Dr. Yardly early Thursday Morning a Vein was opened other Administrations ordered which seemed to succeed so well that we had scarce any apprehensions of Danger She sate up four hours Saturday till seven at Night and thought herself and so did we refreshed and better by it but a complicated Disease a Rheumatism Erysipelas and Peripneumonia by God's Wise and Holy Righteous Ordering prevailed against her Strength and our Hopes And on the Lord's Day she passed to her dearest Lord and the well-beloved Bridegroom of her Soul to begin that Eternal Sabbath which shall never be interrupted nor cease She spake not much in her Sickness hindred by the shortness of her Breath and swelling of her Face What she did was suitable to her Holy Life and I believe God hid from her as well as us the near approach of her Death in Mercy to us all One of the last Words she spake to me was before my going to Church A short Prayer my Dear before thou goest She was Buried February the 27th following with that decency which is fitter for others to relate than my self and now she sleeps in Jesus who by his Burial perfumed and warmed that Bed of the Grave for all his Members where we leave her in hopes of a Glorious Resurrection when her Dust shall rise to praise him AN APPENDIX Containing some few of the Directions she wrote for her Childrens Instruction mentioned Sect. 12. And some few Letters written by her I Desire it may be remembred she wrote these not for grown and experienced Christians who might be fitter to instruct her than be assisted by her much less with the least Prospect they should ever be published or seen by many Eyes my own never saw them till hers were closed but I hope may be useful for young ones and Beginners and as such I recommend them to her Friends to communicate to their Children if they think good and have not given them better of their own and therefore it is not just to measure her Abilities by the scantling of this Performance but to consider the End to which it was designed to suit the Capacities and assist the tender Minds of those for whom they were written when I guess they might be about twelve or fourteen years of Age for one of them died at sixteen and with this equitable Allowance I hope they may be very passable if not commendable and usefull For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Elizabeth Walker IT is the duty of Christians to Pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with watchfulness in the Spirit with Warmth and Life Prayer is a means whereby we give Worship to God giving him the Glory of all his adorable Perfections Prayer is the Soul's Motion to God Desire and Expectation are the Soul of Prayer Prayer is a knocking at the Door of God's Grace and Mercy in Christ for all manner of Supplies you stand in need of Prayer is a Wrestling with God the Lord is willing to forgive ready to hear and help yet he delighteth to have his Strength tryed Gen. 32.24 25. The work of Prayer is not so much to lift up the Hands and Eyes and Voice as to lift up the Heart and Soul In Prayer is required extensiveness and intensiveness of Mind and Heart with Importunity which consisteth in a frequent renewing of our Suits to God notwithstanding all discouragements with a patient waiting for returns of Grace Prayer must be a Premeditated Work as to the Sins to be confessed the Wants expressed the Mercies acknowledged but especially to have right apprehensions of the Purity Majesty Immensity All-sufficiency Fidelity and Bounty of the Lord to whom you Pray with Faith in his Promises and Providences and his Almightiness to supply your Wants in the things of this Life and the Life to come Be much with God in Secret Prayer and let not the fire of the Spirit and Holy Zeal be wanting in any Duty which in the Hearts of God's People send out Holy Vapours of fragrant spiritual Desires and Requests to God Vials full of Odours which are the Prayers of the Saints Rev. 5.8 compared to sweet Incense Mal. 1.11 How near are the Saints thus exercised to Jesus Christ There is but a step as it were between them and Heaven What precious answers of Grace receive they oftentimes from the Oracle of God You will do well to observe the fittest Season for Secret Prayer though a Christian is to Pray at all times yet at sometimes more especially when we meet with any new Occurrence of Providence every fresh dispensation of Providence is a prompt to Prayer as when any Affliction befalls us Jam. 5.13 So when any fresh Mercy is received it is a fit season to go aside and to acknowledge God's Goodness and our own Vnworthiness 2 Sam. 7.18 When you find the Spirit of God moving upon your Soul exciting you to the Duty Cant. 2.10 your Hearts should answer again Thy Face Lord will I seek Psal 27.5 When you find your Heart in a settled and composed Frame then also is a fit season for secret Prayer When as David's your Heart is fixed not disturbed with any Secular Business The Morning also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer the Mind is most composed and troubled with fewest Diversions See her Practise Sect. 5. pag. 33. It were well to be with God as soon as you awake to offer up to him the first-Fruits of every Day this was with others David's manner Psal 5.3.139.3 The Evening also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer Psal 55.17 not only to begin but to conclude the Day with God Sleep not till you have begged his Pardon for your Sins committed and Praised him for the Mercies received that Day When you go about any Holy Duty set by all Worldly Occasions say to them as Abraham did to his Young-men Stay you here while I go aside and Worship God Gen. 22.5 Do not ordinarily go to Prayer when your Anger is stirred and your Mind full of Perturbation 1 Tim. 2.8 lest you offer up the Sacrifice of a Fool 1 Kings 19.11 12. and speak unadvisedly with your Lips Do not actually engage in Prayer when you are inclined to Sleep and Drowsiness you must be wakefull when you Pray if you would watch unto Prayer Also allot and set out a due Proportion of Time for the Duty of Prayer a slighty huddled Prayer is a blind Sacrifice carlessness in Prayer breedeth and feedeth Inconstancy and Instability in Prayer Slightiness in Prayer is an
hear Books and Ballads cried of me about the streets though I had not acquainted any with my trouble but only Mr. Watson My Father's Sister my dear Aunt Quiney a gratious good Woman taking notice of my dejected Spirit she way-laid me in my coming home from the Morning Exercise then in our Parish She surprized me with an inquisitive desire to know what I ailed but I not readily informing her she ask'd me if I were not troubled with Temptations I marvelled at the Question and then acquainted her with my Affliction She from her own experience in the like case advised me which for the present was a refreshment to me for before I was not acquainted with any in the like condition with my self Some little time after my dear Father taking notice of me that I was not well but not fully understanding what I ailed sent for a Physician to me Dr. Bathurst who I hope was a good Man but I was much troubled at his coming though I knew my Father sent for him in his great care and love to me The Physician came to me one Morning before I was out of Bed he perceived my Distemper to be most Dejectedness and Melancholly With other talk he discoursed very piously with me I took the freedom to tell him I thought I did not need a Physician and with the expression of my respects desired him to forbear coming to me which the good Man did not take ill but with good counsel left me It pleased the Lord sometimes to refresh me with those Words of the Psalmist Why art thou cast down O my Soul and why art thou disquieted within me Hope thou in God for thou shalt yet praise him who is thy help and health of thy countenance and thy God How sweet is this propriety my God! Lord where thou givest thy Self thou givest All and thou who hast shewed me great and sore troubles wilt revive me again Thou hast brought up my Soul from the brink of Hell Thou wilt keep me alive that I shall not go down to the pit of Destruction I desired to go from home into the Country to some private good Family where I had no acquaintance which when my Father knew he readily granted my request My good Aunt understanding my mind she acquainted Mrs. Watson our Minister's Wife a good Woman with my desire by which means I went to her Father Mr. John Beadle an honest worthy good Man He was Minister of Banston in Essex My dear Father hired a Coaeh and went with me to Mr. Beadle's and with the expression of his tender love said to me That I should not want any thing to doe me good to the one half of his Estate And he was very bountifull in the requital of my receipts in that Family God's goodness to be acknowledged my dear Mother then was very kind to me I lived at Mr. Beadle's half a Year where I had the fatherly Care and Counsel and Prayers of that good Man with the great love of his Wife a very good Woman and very kind to me and the manifestations of the respects and care of their Children and Servants in any thing that might tend to my satisfaction and comfort The Lord requite it to them in spiritual Blessings with the Mercies of this Life In my continuance at Mr. Beadle 's the Lord afforded me with other opportunities and helps much time in reading and secret Prayer which through Grace I strove to improve for spiritual advantage and humbly hope for the sake and merits of Christ remains upon the file of God's Mercy for fuller returns of Grace For half a Year I do not know that I slept if I did it was very little and yet I did not want either sleep or health Blessed be God for his sustaining and supporting Arm. If I desired any thing that was gratefull to my Appetite when it was brought me I durst not make use of it because I thought it to be the satisfaction of a base sensual Appetite I did eat very sparingly which with my much weeping occasioned me some little inconvenience which became habitual When I had been at Banston about four months by God's providence for me Mr. Beadle exchanged one Lord's-Day with Mr. Walker then Chaplain to my Lord of Warwick at Leez the first time I saw my dear Husband When I had been at Banston half a Year my Father writ to me as to my coming home to which I was inclinable though my Father gave me my liberty It was in my thoughts that I was without natural affection Mr. Watson and his Wife being at Mr. Beadle's and returning to London I came home in company with them enjoying more calm of Spirit than when I went from home I bless God My Troubles wearing off more gradually which to my satisfaction I desired if God had seen it good for me might have been more signal in the discovery and manifestation of his favour in my Victory and Conquest of my temptation It is not for me to prescribe or limit the Holy One of Israel If I may take leave to beg and wait on him in whom are all my fresh springs for supply of Grace and Comfort if the Lord will give to me his unworthy Creature in pence and half pence what in bigger summs he sees fit to bestow on others that my dependence may be continually on him I desire to be thankfull Lord if thou wilt not subdue my Enemies at once yet make them tributaries to thy Glory and my spiritual advantage that these Amorites may be hewers of Wood and drawers of Water usefull to me that I may see my own deficiency and thy strength in my weakness For if thy presence goe not with me I shall soon desert thy cause and though I may be assaulted let me not be overcome but seeing the quarrel is thy own Lord undertake for me in this my military life here where there is no cessation of Arms that I may war a good warfare that those my Enemies which now affright me I may see no more for ever So grant Lord Jesus Amen Amen This minds me of that apposite passage in Dan. x. 10 11. and very applicable to her Case vers 9. Daniel was asleep upon his face with his face toward the ground then vers 10 And behold an hand touched me which set me upon my knees and the palms of my hands and then vers 11. he saith to him Stand upright On which place I meet with this Note The Lord doth not at once restore his Servants from their frailties that they by gradual comforts may prize every drop of Mercy beings not quickned all at once when they are mortified but may be admonished by the remainders of fears and frailties to keep their hearts humble and in continual dependence upon God I shall have occasion more than once to touch this dolefull string again 'T is recorded of our Lord that when he was Baptized He was driven of the Spirit into the
that Nature indicated thereby what must relieve and rising up in my Bed I stretched out my left Arm and humbly committing my self and the Success to God said I would Bleed again The Physicians then consented and proceeded to the Operation and opening a Vein in my Left Arm the Blood sprang out so abundantly that they drew at least ten Ounces After the closing the Orifice being laid down again My Dearest Dear who had been all my Sickness my tenderest Nurse my wakefull Watcher and all yea more than could be wished or expected or possibly performed without a spring of so strong and endearing Affection to give and guide the Motion became my Chaplain if I may have leave to use such an Expression and before the Symptoms she hath mentioned arrived at their height kneeled down by my Bed-side and wrestled with God in Prayer with such spiritual Fervency and expressed herself so appositely so pertinently so suitably and with such holy Ardour poured out her Soul to God as I never knew exceeded if equalled by the ablest Christian or Minister in all my Life Surely if ever the promise of pouring out a Spirit of Grace and Supplication was signally made good it was then made good to her and the effects of it to me for as she was a true Daughter of Abraham an Israelitess indeed she rose from her Knees a Female Israel she prevailed with God I fell into so great a Sweat as was scarce ever known and though the Night was full of the Symptoms she names which so afflicted and affrighted her yet she retained her Presence of Mind to assist me with holiest Words and kindest Deeds In the Morning Symptoms abated and when Dr. Needham came and had felt my Pulse He told me he came directly from Dr. Willis who dyed that day at Eleven a Clock of my Disease but added with a Smile he would not have told me so but that my danger was past and said That under God my last night's Bleeding and Sweating saved my Life without which humanely speaking I could not have escaped blessed be God who put that Resolution into my Mind and heard her earnest Prayers Now to return to her Pious gratefull Words I desire to bless God for every Circumstance of his Mercy in my Dear Husband's Sickness The helps and love of Friends the use of Physick with other means the constant and frequent Visits of Neighbour-Ministers their Prayers for us and of many other Friends and good People in our behalf to which I ascribe a great share of indulgent Mercy in sparing to me a little longer my Dear Husband God did not cast out the Prayer of the Afflicted but in my Distress when I cryed unto him he graciously inclined his Ear unto me and helped me Good Lord enable me with my yet continued Mercy mutually to acknowledge thy Kindness and by an exemplary holy Life to declare thy great Goodness to us Building up each other in our most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life And this Mercy wherewith thou yet intrusts me Lord help me more to improve to my Spiritual Advantage and continue him to length of Days with the abundant Gifts and Graces of thy Holy Spirit a choice and signal Instrument of thy Glory I bless thee for thy supporting Mercy in my Relative Duty in my many sorrowfull Nights and Watchings that when my Sleep departed from me I still might make my Addresses to thee who never slumberest nor sleepest for thou always seest the afflictions of thy People and knowest their Sorrows and wilt not despise them that seek thee thou hast restored Comfort to me and to my Mourners praised be thy Mercy 'T is hard to pass-by her tenderness to me of so recent Date as my last Year's Visitation which held me so many Months and brought me so low and at length settled in my Right-hand with such swelling and lameness as took away its use and under God I owe the recovery of it to her Skill and Pains and Kindness by her frequent bathing fomenting and annointing of it and preparing other both inward and outward Medicines so far to use my Pen to pay this small tribute to her happy Memory SECT X. Of her Lyings-Inn in Child-bearing GOD was pleased to give her strength to go out her full time of eleven Children six Sons and five Daughters besides some abortive or untimely Births And if ever Children were Baptized in their Mothers Belly excuse the Expression doubtless hers were so I mean solemnly Consecrated to God with fervent frequent Prayers and wash'd in a Jordan of her Tears who bore them as truly in her Heart as Womb. I find all their Births recorded with most savory and devout Reflections tho' some with more Enlargement as attended with more signal Circumstances I might transcribe them all that the sweet Spirit of Praise which breaths so fragrantly in every of them might kindle and excite the like Temper in others no Incense being more gratefull to the Nostrils of that God who saith He that offereth Praise glorifieth me but I must contract The twelfth of July 1651 God mercifully Deliver'd me of my first Child In 1652 I being big with-Child had an high Fever and was after a great and very hot fit delivered of a Daughter Aug. 29. Being Lord's Day between four and five in the Morning my Fever turned to an Ague and held me ten Weeks and brought me very low yet God in his Mercy graciously spared me and restored my Health I bless him for it Feb. 5. 54. God delivered me of a third Child our first Son God gave me a fourth Deliverance of a Daughter still-born Dec. 23. 55. I went my full time and might have been ever big Blessed be God that spared his unworthy Creature God gave me a gracious Deliverance of a fifth a Son May 15. 57. God gave me a Mercifull Deliverance of a sixth Child a Daughter June 8. 58. After a long and hard Labour continued three days and three nights in great Extremity all about me despairing of Life God mercifully Delivered me of a seventh Child a Son October 22. 59. which Mercy much affected my Dear Husband and for which my Deliverance I most humbly Bless God I confess I never knew to what degree I loved her till that time and never experienced such Raptures of Joy and Thankfullness for any worldly Matter as on that occasion the Impression of which was so deep that the remembrance of it hath a pleasing relish even to this Day God gave me a gracious Deliverance of an eighth Child a Son still-born after an hard Labour December the 11. 1660. In this Lying-in I fell into Melancholy which much disturbed me with Vapours and was very ill It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy very impetuously to assault me c. But more of this when I touch the return of her Temptation God gave me Deliverance of a ninth Child a Son October 9. 1662. God graciously gave me a
Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
Lady Essex Specot pag. 234 to pag. 246 Another Consolatory Letter written to a good Christian Friend under Trouble pag. 246 An account of the Care she took of young Scholars which came to live in my Family pag. 247. As it should be though mis-printed pag. 227. Two Letters in part which she wrote to one of them to stir him up to Faithfulness in his Ministry pag. 250 A good Letter to a Country Farmer who Married her Kinswoman which I hope may be usefull to all my plain Parishioners pag. 258 A very large but excellent Letter writ to her dear Grand-Child about two Months before she died which I hope may be very usefull to young Gentlemen of the like Age. pag. 270 The Conclusion pag. 296 It is not needfull to run over the whole to amend the Mis-printings which are not many nor great Prayers for Praises Amnestry for Amnesty revenerable for venerable Glassock for Glascock pag. 258. and a few like are all I remember and some Mis-pointings THE HOLY LIFE OF Mrs Elizabeth Walker The INTRODUCTION I Am not so short sighted as not to foresee the Censures I may expose my self to by this Undertaking especially if it fall into the Hands of such as are prone to make sinister Interpretations of other Mens Actions and receive with the left hand what is most innocently offered with the right Yet considering it would be very ill becoming that endeared Affection I always bore to her living and owe to her precious memory now God hath bereaved me of her to baulk a Duty and neglect an Office which may be as usefull to others as kind to her upon such fears I shall freely run that hazard to perpetuate her Memory with just Honour and deserved Praise but principally to glorifie God for that abundant Grace vouchsafed to her and to carry on that Work her Heart was so intensly set upon that is the promoting God's Interest in the World and the good of Souls That the Bushel of unkind silence and sudden forgetfulness may not be whelmed over so burning and shining a Light whose Heat and Lustre may warm and enlighten others though set upon so low a Candlestick as my hasty Pen must place it on I willingly wave an obvious Preface of the usefulness and efficacy of good Examples to enlarge on which it may elsewhere appear I am not wholly unfurnished because I design the concisest brevity and for the same reason I shall pass by what concerned her in all other regards but those the Title Page suggests or touch them no farther than seems necessary for decency and order's sake to introduce what I mainly and indeed solely design in this Essay that those who read it may more fully know of whom these things are spoken To effect which I shall begin with an Account of her Parentage and Birth left under her own hand SECT I. Of her Birth and Parentage BEfore the Transcribing of which I shall premise thus much concerning her Papers from which I am chiefly furnished for this work I sometimes coming into her Chamber when she was Writing she would slide her Book or Papers into the Drawer of the Table on which she wrote and this having happened several times she one day on the like occasion bespake me thus My Dear let me beg one promise from thee Which when I had assented to having demanded what it was she replied That I would never look into the Books and Papers in that Drawer so long as she lived So tender was she rather to improve her time well than to have it known even to my self how well she spent it Which promise as she fully acquiesced in was on my part most faithfully made good Since her Death amongst her many most usefull excellent and pious Writings I found a large Book in Octavo of the best Paper she could buy neatly bound gilded and ruled with red provided for the use to which she so well imployed it On the second Page of which I find thus written Elizabeth Walker her Book all writ with my own hand though the Character doth vary I striving to write a little deeper my sight growing weaker I say there is not one Syllable which I have not writ with my own hand In this Book from the beginning at one end in about two third parts of it are written many excellent Instructions and religious Directions for the use of her two Daughters who were then living to teach them how to serve God acceptably and promote the Salvation of their Souls Which I shall have occasion oft to refer to and to transcribe many Passages out of it in the sequel The other End bears this Title Some Memorials of God's Providences to my Husband Self and Children Then she begins thus My Husband was born c. and so gives a very exact Account of my Parentage Family Education and many signal Mercies and Diliverances vouchsafed me before she knew me of which she had informed her self at several times by enquiries of me and Discourses with me I suppose to inform our Children after us That the Generation to come might know them even the Children which should be born who should arise and declare them to their Children That they might set their hope in God and not forget the works of God but keep his Commandments As the Psalmist speaks Psal lxxviij 6 7. And after every one of them testifies the sense of a very pious gratefull Mind in such Expressions as these Blessed be God for his Mercy to him then and in his farther goodness to me therein for which mercifull Providence I bless God Blessed be God that upheld him in it and delivered him from it c. I can scarce obtain of my self to add more on this Head yet begging the Candour of the Christian Reader I will venture to subjoin the last Passage which in this Paragraph concerns my self because it savours no less of pious Gratitude to God than most endearing kindness toward me When he was ready to commence Master of Arts good Bishop Brownrigg commended him to worthy Doctor Gauden to teach Mrs. Mary Lukenor Dr. Gauden's Wife's Daughter who was afterward the Wife of my Lord Townsend and died Childless After Three Years spent in that Imployment and assisting Dr. Gauden in the Ministry at Bocken my Dear came to be Houshold Chaplain to the good and noble Right Honourable Robert Earl of Warwick at Leez where he received many Mercies the chief to be esteemed the Crown God was pleased to give to his Ministry in the Conversion of the then Lady Mary Rich since the Right Honourable Countess of Warwick A most incomparable Woman in all Ornaments of Nature and Grace and his most sincere and entire Friend whom I beseech God in his infinite Goodness to preserve and crown with all his Mercies Excuse the pathos of a gratefull Mind which cannot refrain crying out concerning these two holy Women Never Man had better Friend than the one or better Wife than the
Wilderness to be tempted of the Devil and being forty days tempted of him St. Luke iv 2. then ver 13. When the Devil had ended all the temptations he departed from him for a season I would be cautiously tender of making comparisons to that Divine Pattern yet we remember that St. Paul tells us Rom. viij 29. Whom God did foreknow he also did predestinate to be conformed to the Image of his Son that he might be the first-born amongst many Brethren And the instance of the likeness betwixt Christ and his Brethren is placed Heb. ij 18. in being tempted God restrain'd her Enemy as she always call'd the Devil both in Speech and Writing sometimes for shorter sometimes for longer seasons Sometimes she hardly stood her ground and kept the field sometimes she so resisted as to make him fly and sometimes though more rarely by the help of the God of Jacob who taught her hands to war and her fingers to fight in this spiritual Combat and whom she us'd to importune to carry on this War at his own charge because the quarrel was his own she obtain'd signal and triumphant Victories and in the sense of them was filled with joy unspeakable and full of Glory was more than conquerour through him that loved her Rom. viij 37. Yet even after these she would complain that at some distance Beelzebub the God of Flies like that restless impudent and importunate Creature would return to Buz yea and attempt to blow her mind especially if there were any sore place found to light on any small remisness or bodily infirmity which abated her vigour to resist or keep him off But I shall leave at present this more dark and cloudy Scene and hasten to that which our gracious God of his infinite Goodness rendred so lightsome and comfortable to us both Blessed be his Mercy for it SECT III. Of our Marriage WHEN I had been from Mr. Beadle's half a year and then at Home my now dear Husband came to my Father's and as a consolatory Friend gave me a visit Some time after he came again and some Months having passed in more frequent Conversation God having determined our mutual love and liking did graciously with the approbation of my Friends consummate our choise in Marriage For which good Providence I bless God I was married by Mr. Watson at Hammersmith on July 23 1650. my Father and my Mother with other Friends went with me to Hammersmith The morning was lowring with small Rain and very likely to be a wet day which was uncomfortable and much troubled me But recollecting my self my Thoughts suggested to me what 's matter for these Clouds if the Sun of Righteousness shine through them upon us I had not got to the Water-side and into the Boat but the Sun expelled the Clouds to my comfort it broke forth and shined with that vigour and splendor that to the best of my observation which had great impression upon me I do not know that the Sun disappeared one moment that day from the first time I saw it to the going down of it but was as clear and bright a day as ever my Eyes beheld Thus God was pleased to condescend to my weakness Thus far my dear Wife's Pen. Let me take the freedom to subjoin The first visit I made to her with design to obtain her for my Wife walking some time alone in her Father's Parlour in which lay a fair Folio Bible on a Desk I casually opened it and the first verse I cast my eye upon was Prov. xix 14. House and Riches are Inheritance of Fathers and a prudent Wife is from the Lord which I have many times comfortably reflected on since To which I 'll add another good Omen When I went to buy a Wedding-ring the first which was offered to me had this Posie Joined in one by Christ alone which I liked so well I looked no farther and it fitted so exactly for the size no care or art could have made it fitter I am so far from putting any great stress on such little matters that I can say with the Psalmist I hate those who hold on superstitious vanities yet let me with due thankfulness remark not the effect but event and consequent Our whole married Estate was like the light of the morning when the Sun riseth even a morning without Clouds and as clear shining after Rain And if ever Man was blest with a prudent Wife I owe the depest acknowledgments to him that gave me that choice Mercy For though God sometimes did us the honour to suffer his own Enemies to declare themselves ours he oft convinc'd them always restrain'd them that they could not considerably hurt us And when unkind Envy hath levell'd at us it rather recoil'd than hit the mark Blessed be our defence and the God of our Mercies And for the constancy of mutual Affection if we sometimes differed in small matters we never disagreed or once closed our Eyes to sleep in Thirty nine years seven months in discontent or under dissatisfaction on either part So graciously did he who joined our hands and hearts turn our Water into Wine not only on our Marriage-day but till the mournfull period of it Blessed be his loving Kindness for it We were in great danger of a short conjugal Society as will appear from what next follows When we were first married we lived the first Year at Croyden in Surry with much love of the People and with other Expressions of kindness their great unwillingness to part with us my Husband's Ministry being very desirable to them The very next week after I was married there happened a contageous Disease at Croyden occasioned by the Nastiness and Stench of the Prisoners the Assizes being then kept there of which Disease both the Judges some of the Justices and many Inhabitants died my Husband preached at the Assize he was both with the Prisoners and the Sick yet God spared him for farther use for his Glory He had some degree of the Disease but I bless God it went off with Sweating and some other helps at my Father's House in London from whence we were not then fully removed SECT IV. Her Life in a concise Epitome IF I may hitherto seem to any to have forgot my Text I mean my Title Page I beg their pardon if they think I need it I shall in what remains keep closer to it and might draw her lively Effigies in Miniture with a Scripture Pensil and with few touches truly represent her Icon. Such as these To her to live was Christ and to die was gain The life she lived in the flesh she liv'd by the faith of the Son of God Her life was hid with God in Christ Her life was a continual Warfare against her restless Enemy Her life was a course which she so ran that she might obtain Her life was a daily Meditation on Death and serious preparation for it Her life was to follow after peace with men as much