conquer thy enemy with his owne weapons which he prepared for thy destruction 8. When therefore thy sins are And never to distrust his mercy suggested to thy memory conceive a perfect hatred of them as of things detestable to the divine goodnesse yet be sure to have an hopefull confidence in thy Saviours passion And I tell thee yet more shouldest thou seem to heare God saying unto thee Away thou art none of the number of my sheep yet thou art not to lose thy confidence in his mercy but humbly to reply Thou hast just reason ô my Soveraigne Lord God to shake me off for my sins sake But I have greatest reason to be confident of thy goodnesse and mercy and to beleeve that thou wilt pardon me therefore I humbly beg salvation for this thy wretched creature damn'd indeed by it's owne malice but redeem'd by the And the merits of his passion dear ransome of thy Sonnes most pretious blood and passion Thou wilt save me ô my Redeemer for thine owne glories sake and I resigne my selfe freely into thy hands upon the assurance of thy infinite mercy Doe with me and dispose of me as thou best pleasest for thou art my onely Lord and if thou killest me yet I will place my whole hope in thy heavenly goodnesse Of the assault of Vain glory 9. The third assault is that of The third assault is of vain-glory Vain-glory and presumption Here thou art to be â—quall wary of the other extreme and never to admit of the least conceit or complacency in thy selfe or thy actions but to referre all goodnesse that seemes to be in thee purely to Gods great mercy and the merits of Christs pâ—ssion Imbase thy selfe in thy heart whilst there is the least remainder of breath in thy body and acknowledge thy Which is conquerd by distrust of thy self and trust in God God as the true fountain of all thy goodnesse Look not at all upon thine owne merits but rely totally upon his mercy Distrust thy selfe and trust in thy Saviour and think what poore provisions thou hast laid up in store for this passage of death and thy journey to eternity and how vain and uselesse all thine owne indeavours will prove unlesse God will be pleased to put his helping hand and gather thee under the sacred wings of his divine protection Of illusions and false aprearances which are usually presented at the hour of death 10. If thy obstinate enmy who is The fourth assault is by false illusions ever studying to supplant thee should at this time set upon thee with false appearances and transfigurations of himselfe into an Angel of light thy best way is to recurre to the certain knowledge of thine own nothing and boldly to answer him Depart ô thou accursed devill into Against which have recourse to the confession of thy owne nothing And admit them not though they seem to come from heaven thy own darknesse I neither deserve nor desire any visions I need no other thing than the mercy of my Jesus the prayers of the Virgin Mary and the assistauce of the Saints Yea though thou hast reason to guesse by some evident signes that these things are from heaven yet still deny them all accesse unto thee and drive them far from thee nor needest thou fear lest any such resistance grounded upon thine own indignity should displease God for if the visions come from him he knowes well how to make them manifest notwithstanding thy opposition and art secure to be thereby no loser since he who gives his grace to the humble cannot be angry with him who practiseth such high acts of that vertue 11. These are the common and After these generall temptations follow others in particular ordinary engines which our enemy makes use of in this last passage After which follow his other trained bands of temptations according to each ones particular inclination and disposition Stand therefore timely to thy arms my beloved before this great day of battail steal upon thee and fight now valiantly and generously against thy violent passions and imperfections that thou mayst be prepared at that time which takes from thee all other time and power to perform it CHAP. XX. That we must never flatttr our selves as having subdued our enemies but must often return to our wonted exercises as if we were yet Novices in this Spirituall Conflict I have yet one thing O beloved Never perswade thy selfe thou hast gotten a full victory to tell thee of which is that thou never perswade thy selfe to have gotten a full victory over any one of thy passions though perchance thou hast for a long time together felt no motions thereof But that thou often renew thy accustomed But often renew thy exercises spirituall exercises as if thou wert yet a young beginner and a fresh-water souldier now entring the list 2. For if we behold and desire to follow the perfection whereunto God hath called us wee shall find it to be so high and so copious that For perfection is very high and hard to be obtained after our best spent endeavours wee shall scarcely presume to say that we have learnt the first principles thereof And besides this That which seemes to us a vertue may indeed sometimes be a vice our judgement being deceived by some secret pride CHAP. XXI Of Holy Prayer WE have hitherto ô beloved The fourth weapon is Holy prayer through the divine assistance heard and learned what concerns Diffidence in our selves Confidence in our God and continuall Exercise which are the three necessary meanes to get the victory of our passions and to conquer the disordered motions of our Sensuality Now follows the fourth which is Holy Prayer and this is the best and most efficacious means to obtain all good things from Gods gracious and bountifull hand EXPLICATION FOr Prayer is the food the comfort A furthet description of prayer and the support of the soule during its pilgrimage upon earth It is a secure bridge for it to passe over the severall seas of adversities and prosperities It is a wall of defence against vices and temptations a key opening into the cabinet of celestiall treasures the dore of holy thoughts and finally an invincible Citadel and sure retreating place from the violent assaults of all our enemies By prayer if thou knowest how to apply it to its true use thou puttest a sword into thy Lords powerfull hands wherewith he will fight thy battails for thee and vanquish all enemies which oppose thee in thy way of perfection 2. But to make thy prayer grateful Text. Which must have these properties usefull and acceptable it must be accompanied with these conditions and properties First That an ardent desire to 1. A desire to serve God serve thy Lord God in such a manner as may best pleasure his divine Majesty doe continually inflame thy heart EXPLICATION TO obtain this inflamed desire How to obtain
have Angels Saints and God himselfe for thy companions and comforters Finally reflect upon the conflict which thou hast undertaken and considering how much thou hast to doe thou wilt find litle leasure to spend in idle talk CHAP. XIV Of the order to be observed in fighting against our enemies IN thy spirituall combat against thy disordered affections and passions follow this method First enter into the cabinet of thy Mark which are thy greatest enemies heart and let thy inquisitive thoughts search and examine with exact diligence which be the affections that there beare the greatest sway and with what thoughts and motions thou art most frequently tempted and troubled Secondly And having found thy And single out the fiercest to fight with foes turne thy weapons against that single enemy which then actually molests thee most nearly endangers thee and is now ready to graple with thee oppresse thee and ruine thee Thirdly But in time of peace with But when they appeare not seek them thy passions when no enemy appears in field to provoke thee to battalle begin thou with them and make thy strongest onset upon those which have chiefly indomaged thee most frequently foiled thee and wrought thy greatest confusion before thy Lord God CHAP. XV. What course he must take who is conquered and grievously wounded by his enemies IF thou chance to fall into some vice either through frailty and weaknesse or through wickednesse and wilfull malice Turne thee with When thou art faln rise with all speed all speed to God and first reflect upon thine own basenesse heartily hate thy self Then recollecting thy spirits and converting thy self againe to thy Creatour confesse to him thy ingratitude and say with an inflamed heart O my Lord he hold I have done Pray with fervour like my selfe For what better could be expected from me than basenesse fallings and sinfulnesse I am sorry O my God with my whole heart and I confesse I should have done farre worse and fallen more grievously had not the hand of thy goodnesse kept me stayed me and upheld me for which I render thee most humble thanks And now O my loving Lord doe thou like thy selfe according to the treasures of thy mercies and let me not live out of thy grace nor ever offend againe thy most sacred Majesty 2. Having thus sincerely poured Be not over-solicitous or fearefull forth thy heart in the presence of God be not solicitous and thoughtfull whether he hath forgiven this thy sin or no for such a curiosity savours of pride endangers thee to fall into the snare of Satan renders thee unquiet and consumes time to little purpose Therefore cast thy selfe purely into the paternall bosome of thy mercifull Lord resume thy wonted exercises and take up thy weapons again as though thou hadst not fallen Yea shouldest thou chance to fall many times a day and receive many grievous wounds from thy enemies yet never despaire never grow faint-hearted or over-fearfull of thy selfe but still stand upon thy accustomed guards against all new assaults and doe the same things with no lesse confidence the second third fourth time and as often as thy need shall require as thou didst at the first 3. This kind of exercitation by so much the more displeaseth the Devill by how much he well knowes it is highly pleasing to God and for this reason he moves all his engines to make us tepid and slack in frequenting it Doe thou therefore use But be diligent and use violence to thine own Inclination violence to thy selfe and the more difficulty thou findest by so much more redouble thy diligence in doing it and esteeme it not a thing over-irksome to renew it divers times in one and the same fall And if after the first next and third relapse thou feelest a grievous trouble confusion and diffidence in thy self yet still endeavour by all meanes to recover the inward quiet of thy soul Recovering the quiet of thy soule and reconciliation to thy Soveraigne and then reconcile thy selfe to thy loving Lord For that disquietnesse of conscience remaining after the sinne committed is not any signe of thy sorrow for having offended thy Saviour but rather of fear for thy owne private dammages which thou hast thereby deserved 4. Now the way to recover this The way to get this quiet is to forget thy fault quiet of mind may be this Having truly turned thy selfe to thy God and humbly craved pardon for thy sinne thinke no more of it but forget it totally for the future and fix thy thoughts onely upon thy Lords infinite love by which he earnestly desines to unite thee to himselfe and make thee partaker of his eternall beatitude And when by this or the like considerations thou hast setled thy mind and stated thy heart in tranquillity turne thy thoughts againe to contemplate thy fall and doe as thou wert directed in the beginning of this Chapter And when thou goest to confession as thou shouldst frequently do recall all thy fallings and defects into thy memory discovering them faithfully and confessing them simply to thy Ghostly Father CHAP. XVI That we should keepe our Hearts ever quiet and joyfull in our Lord. EXPLICATION AS when wee have lost the quiet of our Heart we are to use all possible endeavours to recover it as is aforesaid So thou must know No accident can justly deprive us of quiet that no accident whatsoever can with any just reason deprive us of the same For 't is most true and thou hast beene often told it that wee must be angry with our selves for our sinnes yet our griefe must bee govern'd with discretion and accompained with tranquillity and our sorrow must produce acts and resolutions of amendment of our lives not of disquiet and anxiety in our selves As for other painfull and unpleasing accidents as the sicknesse death yea and eternall damnation of our deare friends or the scourges of Plague Famine Warre Saccagings Burnings and other evils falling upon our selves though as they are things contrary to our For thoug◠wee must needs abhor things contrary to nature Yet wee may love them as coming from Gods permissiō And so conforme our selves to his holy will nature we must needs reject them yet we may by the efficacious working of Gods Grace not onely desire them but even be delighted with them as being the just punishments of the wicked and exercises of vertue to the good for which ends out loving Lord permits them to befall us Thus conforming our selves to Gods holy Will wee may quietly and peaceably passe through the midst of all this lives bitternesses and contrarieties And take this for a truth that all Disquiet of mind is displeasing to our deare Lord because it is never without some imperfection and evermore proceeds from some perverse root of self-love 1. To obtaine therefore this quiet of Text. Thou art to appoint a sentinell Heart in thy Spirituall Conflict thou
abstraction introversion annihilation This is to begin your heaven upon earth and to fortast that endless felicity in which your faith shall be turn'd into clear vision your hope changed into full possession and your charity knit to her beloved centre and perfection where you shall praise God incessantly love him intirely and enjoy him eternally The Table of the Maxims 1. That our end is Perfection and divine Union and that Prayer is the way to it 2. That Beginners may profitably make use of the following Exercise of mentall Prayer and Introversion until they obtain greater light and more experience in the way of the Spirit 3. That of all internal Prayer the affective is most noble necessary and profitable 4. That Meditation is a seeking Contemplation a seeing of God 5. That continual Recollection is the Exercise of Exercises and the immediate way to bring us to perfection and divine Vnion The practice of this Exercise is declared in ten canons 1. That all places are proper for Recollection but the more quiet the more proper 2. That to pray on our knees is a posture most pleasing to God 3. That we must especially at first prefix to our selves certain and set times of Recollection 4. That we must frame an act of pure Intention at our entrance iâ—to Recollection 5. That we must briefly examine our Consciences and produce acts of Contrition self-confusion humility and resolutions of amendment 6. That we must also make an Act of perfect Resignation before we fall upon this Exercise 7. That we must bring with us some theam subject or groundwork of our Prayer and Recollection 8. That we must look on God by Faith and leave off all discourses 9. That we must carry God with us from our Prayer 10. That we must put on Christ and imitate his example in all our actions 6. That for this pure perfect and Transcendent prayer no certain Rules can be prescribed 7. That the Contemplative must be very observant of the divine visits lights and calls 8. That the only way to get true peace of mind is to be totally resigned to God 9. That a Contemplative soul must lay a solid groundwork to serve her in time of desolation 10. That in this high Exercise of Recollection the three Theological vertues Faith Hope and Charity must perfect and possess the three powers of our souls Vnderstanding Memory and Will 11. That our Vnderstandings must be setled in pure Faith 12. That our Memories must be setled in pure Hope 13. That our Wills must be setled in pure Charity 14. That this Exercise of Recollection and Annihilation is the short secure way to divine Vnion 15. That all sorts of people may safely addict themselves to this holy exercise of Recollection 16. That outward Observances are helps in the practice of this Exercise 17. That Prayer for others is best practised by a general intention 18. That all vertues are best practised by addicting our selves to Contemplation or this internal Exercise of Recollection Some examples for the practice of this divine way of Prayer Some further Advices for the same practice of this pure prayer 19. That corporal austerities must be alwayes subject to obedience 20. That Contemplatives must alwayes have the seven verities which concern the divine nature whereupon all Contâ—mplation is grounded either habitually or formally in their memories 21. That Jâ—culâ—tory Prayers are the nearest dispositions to Contemplation 22. That the Presence of God is the great exâ—rcisâ— of Contemplatives and the shortest way to divine Vnion A more sublime way to practise the presâ—nce of God 23. That Humiliation is a relique of Gods love 24. That Humility is the solid groundwork of all spirituality 25. That Silence and Solitude are our heaven upon earth 26. That the perfect love of God and hatred of our selves must be our constant and continuall employment 27. That Confidence in Gods goodness is the main support of our Spiritual Edifice 28. That the measure of our progress in Perfection is the Conformity of our will to the divine will 29. That Vnquietness of mind is the bane of Devotion and curse of Contemplation 30. That Crosses are to be suffer'd not sought to be taken not made to be conceal'd not complain'd of 31. That Temptations cannot hurt us if we cast our whole care upon God 32. That Desolations derelictions afflictions distractions are to be transcended by generous Resolutions 33. That Perfection consists in putting off all propriety and putting on pure and naked charity 34. That Zeal and eagerness must be temper'd with Moderation and discretion 35. That we must never rely upon our own naturall judgement experience and knowledge 36. That we must seek no comfort in any creature 37. That we must walk and persever in these our Spiritual Exercises with the two feet of Faith and Obedience Vnder this Maxim are solved many materiall doubts arising in our dayly progress to Perfection The first doubt If we fear that God will forsake us by reason of our Ingratitude and disloyalty 2. If our sins trouble us in respect of Confession and satisfaction 3. If we can neither pray with fervour nor suffer with patience neither feel God present nor be content in his absence 4. If we are doubtfull that God is angry with us that we want grace that we only seek our selves that we yield to all temptations c. 5. If our consciences are unquiet and our souls fearfull by reason of our proness to sin c. 6. If we are full of fears and apprehensions of our estate by reason we feel in our souls such slender effects of Gods grace and love and have little devotion no inward peace c. 7. If some extream cross calamity or affliction hath seiz'd our hearts c. 8. If we desire to conquer the Devil and overcome all temptations whatsoever 9. If we want comfort in long and dangerous temptations and troubles 10. If we wonder that God will have us suffer temptation sithence our frailty is subject to yield and so offend his divine Majesty 11. If we are solicited by our enemy to unchastness 12. If we are in extraordinary desolation and darkness 13. If we are tempted to despair of Gods mercy by reason of our frequent falls and relapses into sin 14. If we are perplexed with great sadness c. Other remedies against Sadness Another antidote against melancholy and pusillanimity 15. If we suspect that our Sadness and temptations proceed from our own fault or negligence or some secret sin or our want of correspondency with Gods grace c. 16. If we doubt that God is displeased with our Prayers that our afflictions befall us through our own occasion and cannot satisfie our selves to think we have done what God requires 17. If nature hath shew'd her self a Stâ—p-mother unto us in giving us a hard and harsh disposition whence proceeds a reluctancy to works of vertue and mortification of vice So that we distrust of ever overcoming
our selves 18. If on the contrary Our nature is so facil and flexible that we scarcely find difficulty in any thing We wonder to hear mention of rebellions contradictions desolations c. From all which we are secure and quiet And therefore we fear our actions proceed rather from a natural promptitude than solid vertue 19. If we so addict our selves to Recollection that we look upon works of Obedience and the external practices of our duty as impediments to Perfection 20. If we find such a calm in our passions imperfections and temptations that we hope the worst is past 21. If scrupulosity overwhelms us 1. We must obey our Spiritual Directour 2. We must do our best endeavour But here arise two difficulties 1. If our Directours knowledge be small his experience less c. 2. If we cannot satisfy our selves that we have done our best c. 22. If we fear we detest not sin sufficiently because we feel not so great sorrow for the offence of God as we do somtimes for a temporall loss 23. If we cannot ground our selves in a firm hope of mercy for that we are so frail and inconstant we sin dayly and amend not our lives we repay unto God evil for good we promise fidelity and practise nothing less 24. If we go not on with alacrity because we know not that our sins are forgiven that our Confessions are good and that we are in the state of grace 25. Though we cannot in this life assure our selves infallibly to be in good state yet if we could comfort our selves with most probable tokens of grace whereby we might feel the pulses of our hearts and somwhat ease our anguish 26. If we are troubled because we know not well when we give consent to sinfull thoughts 27. If we cannot well distinguish between Venial and Mortal sin 28. If these sayings of Divines terrifie us They sin who do against their doubt And In doubtfull things the securer part is to be followed 29. If finally we are apprehensive and fearfull lest we should grow weary in the way of vertu and not persevere constantly in our Spiritual Exercises Maxims of Mystical Divinity The first Maxim That our end is perfection and Divine Vnion and That Prayer is the way to it IT is not sufficient for us who are resolv'd upon a spiritual course to lead an ordinary good life which consists in the avoiding of sin and scandal and in the punctual performance of our external duty to God and our neighbour But our end and aym must be to attain the perfection of Gods holy love and a happy Vnion of our souls with their first beginning by living in abstraction recollection and perpetuall Contemplation as far forth as Gods holy Spirit shall enable us and our frailty can correspond The chief means to attain this our end is Prayer without which all Religion is but a shadow without a body or a body without a soul and all outward observances will prove but a superficial not a real devotion For it is the constant doctrine of Divines that what God S. Augustine S. Basil S. Chrysostom S. Thomas 2 2. q. 83. a. 2. in his eternal disposition hath determined to bestow upon us he gives us in time by the intervention of Prayer tying as it were to this instrument the conversion of sinners the advancement of souls the perfection of Saints c. So that as his divine decree is that we must till the earth if we will reap the fruits thereof and provide mateâ—â—als if we will raise up buildings and the like so his absolute order is that we must pray if we will have spiritual benefits to be powred into our souls and supernatural gifts and graces to be granted unto us Let us therefore in the first place resolve to prosecute Prayer couragiously constantly and perseverantly at set times if we intend to make speedy progress in sincere vertue and lay a sure groundwork of solid spirituality and let nothing upon any pretext whatsoever hinder or divert us from it as far as obedience and discretion will give us leave Lord heal my wounds supply my wants satisfie my wishes The second Maxim That Beginuers may profitably make use of this following exercise of mental Prayer and Introversion until they obtain greater light and more experience in the way of the Spirit THis divine Exercise consists of three parts in general and Nine points in particular 1. Preparation of 3. acts 1. An affective lively apprehensioÌ„ of Gods presence 2. A cordial and profound act of humility 3. A pure intention to please and praise God only 2. Consideration of 1. My wounds both internal and external 2. My wants which are many in every degree 3. My wishes and humble desires 3. Conclusion also of 3. acts 1. Contrition for my sins 2. Resignation in my wants 3. Complacence in God and Confidence in his goodness A more ample and practical description of this Exercise The first part is Preparation of three Acts. 1. A lively apprehension of Gods Presence not only in all places and all creatures by his power and essence but in our souls by his mercy love care and providence O my Soul Where are we 1. Part. 1 Preseâ—ce of God who seeth us What is he that is with us and within us by whose light we see by whose fire we burn and by whose love we live Live my most glorious and gracious Lord in whose presence I kneel in whose arms I rest and after whose love I breathe O that thou wert as dear to my soul as thou art near it Alas why doth she not care as much for her God as he doth for her good Why do I not love thy presence ô my amiable Lord since thou art present by love Thou art my Father my Physician and my food hear me heal me help me I am wounded I am wicked I am wretched Out of thee there is no rest without thee there is no hope remain with me reign within me Let me be thine all thine ever thine 2. Profound and cordial humility acknowledging unfeignedly before God and his Angels our wickedness weakness and wretchedness what we are and what we deserve and so resting quiet in our Centre of nothing O my Soul What have we 2 Profound humility been What are we What have we what can we do What do we deserve What do we desire What hath our loving Father and liberal Lord that he hath not given us What have we proud and prodigal children that we have not received meerly from his mercifull hand and heart What have we received that we have not abused by self-love or self-delight O sweet Jesu Give tears to my eyes words to my tongue sighs to my heart and love to my spirit for I need them all to deplore my misery and implore thy mercy to admire thy beauty and adore thy bounty to sigh after thee and suffer for thee What I have been it grieves me to
inclinations The third Verity O Lord I have a good Will and purpose to Confess my sins entirely in due time and place according to thy Ordinance and that of thy holy Church We may ad to these the devout frequentation Three other signs of the Sacraments which give life and justifying grace The warrant of a skilful guide And a lively confidence in the Divine bounty The 26. Doubt If we are troubled because we know not well when we give consent to sinful Thoughts 1. IF when the Thought is represented Rules to know when we consent to sin we presently fly to the crucifix expell it disdain it dislike it it is not Sin but Merit 2. But if we carelesly linger in it when well perceived it is Venial 3. And if we consent to the Thought and desire the Action our sin is equall to the act if it were committed 4. But if we intend not the Act but linger delightfully in the Thought and the thing it self be Mortall and deliberately entertained it is also Mortal The 27. Doubt If we cannot well distinguish between Venial and Mortal sin 1. WHat need we determine let us Confess it as it is committed 2. Mortall sin cannot be committed without great corruption of Him who commits it or great hurt to his Neighbor or great contempt and neglect of God says Richardas a S. Victore And S. Thomas Rich. à S. Victore S. Thomas says He sins Mortally whose total intention of mind is withdrawn from God who is our last end 3. Let us conclude with S. Augustin S. August Gerson and Gerson That it is dangerous even in Prelats and Confessors to define what is mortall sin or give Rules therein The 28. Doubt If that saying of Divines terrifies Faciens contra dubium incidit in peccatum In dubiis securior pars est eligenda us He that does against his doubt sins And In things which are doubtfull the securer part is to be chosen WE may in things which are Doubtfull securely follow a Probable opinion Now Scruples are not Doubts but false apprehensions and therefore on all sides we may and somtimes must go against our own erroneous consciences especially when Obedience commands it Let us therefore with S. Augustin S. Augustin Tene certum dimitte incertum lay hold of that which is certain and let go the uncertain And what way is more sure and secure than Obedience The 29. And last Doubt If finally we are apprehensive and fearfull lest we should grow weary in the way of Vertue and not Persever constantly in our Spiritual Exercises LEt us excite our Tepidity by the frequent perusall of this following discourse and practise accordingly The Patriarch Jacob in hope of obtaining the beautifull Rachel serv'd Laban seven years with diligence and patience But being cousened by that disloyal worldling with il favoured Lia what doth he He neither loseth Courage nor Confidence but with new constancy begins his other seven years service with such admirable alacrity and a heart so fix'd upon his desired reward that the time seem'd Gen. 29. but a week to him O my soul thou seekest and sighest after eternal Beatitude consisting essentially in the blessed vision and fruition of God signified by Rachel according to S. Bernard For S. Bernard this thou hast bound thy self to serve God But alas The world the flesh and the Devil do so often beguile blind thee that thou takest blear-ey'd Lia for beautiful Rachel the world for heaven the flesh for the Spirit and diabolical Illusions for Divine inspirations But what Lose not courage nor confidence Renew thy protestation of loyal service Serve God one other seven years Suffer another slavery to get heaven to dy in finall grace and to be eternally joyned to that blessed beauty thou lovest Follow Jesus to mount Calvary to consummatum est to thy last gasp If thou stumblest fall not If thou fallest up again and march Stand not but go forward for he only that persevers till the end shall be saved Let neither frequent temptations nor fearfull imaginations nor strong passions nor bad inclinations nor often fallings nor ordinary frailty daunt or dismay thee God is good and gracious meek and mercifull Thy reward is infinite and eternall Thy friends are moe in heaven than on earth persever then and go forward if thou canst not run at least go fair and softly and securely after Christ thy Captain crying Draw me unto thee ô most dear Lord for I desire to follow thee and no other but I am weak and lame and therefore I make use of two crutches A strong resolution never to forsake thy love and a lively confidence in thy grace goodness and mercy O holy and happy O pretious and highly to be prized Perseverance O finall grace the patrimony only of the elect and portion of the predestinate Fight manfully ô my soul get good habits timely resist sin valiantly fast watch pray sigh and suffer perseverantly heaven is worth thy pains Persever O my soul Persever Persever that done all is done that wanting all is undone This O Satan thou knowest full well and therefore little car'st to see me zealous for a Lent for a year for a time so in the end thou may'st make me tire tepide and careless of my progress and Pâ—rseverance 't is my Perseverance S. Bernard which thou only enviest at because that only conquers thee and crowns me eternally I discover thy two main snares ô subtill enemy into which thou wouldst allure my unwary soul and thy first design failing which was to delay my eonversion to Gods service thou pursuest thy Second which is to weary me in my well-begun enterprise To shift off my Conversion thou urgedst youth long life time enough thy dayly and dangerous deceits by which more Christians perish than by any other thy guiles and stratagems Thou knowest the peril of delay in a matter so important as is our conversion perfection salvation Thou art not ignorant how one sin draws on another how he that to day is unfit will be less to morrow how custom grows into nature breeds blindness hardness of heart and insensibility how old diseases are hardly and rarely cured how God withdraws his grace when 't is abused refused neglected how much his justice by delay is exasperated and that we heap coales on our own heads by our negligence Thou art well skill'd in the uncertainty of our frail life know'st the dangers chances changes and accidents which may speedily overwhelm us therfore thou whisperest stay a little deferr yet for a time till God in whose hands are the moments of all time takes from us all time who have so long abused the opportunity of time and sends us into pains eternal without time But seeing me resolutely and violently breaking all thy chains running and crying with S. Augustin S. Augustin Why shall I longer say to morrow why not now even at this instant thou now
this inflamed desire consider that thy Lord God by reason of his admirable excellencies of goodnesse majesty wisedome beauty and other infinite perfections is more than worthy to be served and honoured by thee and all creatures That to serve and succour thee this greatnesse hath condescended to compassionate thy weaknesse and to suffer for thee in his sacred humanity for thirty three yeares space during which time he cur'd and salv'd thy stinking sores which were gangren'd by the soule contagion of sinne not with medicinall oyle ordinary wine and common plaisters but with the most precious balsom of his owne sacred bloud and with unguents confected of his purest flesh torn from his body by scourges thorns and nails Weigh also the importance of this his service since thou art thereby inabled to master thy selfe to conquer thine enemies and to become the child of God Secondly That thou be possest Text. Secondly perfect Faith with a true and constant Faith whereby thou beleevest that thy loving Lord will give thee all things necessary for his service and thy salvatioâ— EXPLICATION THis holy Confidence is the vessell which the divine goodnesse fills with the treasures of his graces and the greater it is the richer and more laden will thy prayer return into thine owne bosome For how can our unchangeable Lord faile to make us partakers of his good gifts and graces when as himself hath commanded us to ask them and promised his holy Spirit to them who petition him for it with Faith and perseverance Thirdly that thou hast no other Text. Thirdly Conformity to God's will end in frequenting holy prayer than the accomplishing of Gods will and not thine owne and this as well in asking as in obtaining That is Let nothing move thee to pray but only that God will have thee prâ—y neither doe thou desire to be heard for any other reason than that thou hopest it is his pleasure briefly Let thy intention and the whole purpose of thy prayer be this That thy will may be conformable to Gods will and strive not at all to bend his will or draw it unto thine EXPLICATION ANd this thou art to do so much Because thy owne will is subject to error the rather because thy will being infected with selfe-love is subject to errour and forgetfulnesse of it selfe and so knows not what it asks but the divine will is ever accompanied with unspeakable goodnesse and so can never faile but is the rule but the divine will is infallibly right and queen-regent of all other wills deserving to be followed and obey'd by them all Thou art therefore alwayes to petition for those things which are conforme to Gods hoâ—y will and when thou suspectest whether some desire of thine be truly such to make thy demand conditionall and not to wish it but onely so far forth as thy Lord God is well pleased thou shalt obtain it In things also which are known to be certainly agreeable to his divine Majesty such as are vertues and graces thou art to pray for them rather that thou maist by their meanes better please satisfy and serve him than for any other end or consideration whatsoever though never so spirituall Fourthly That thy prayer and Text. Fourthly A connexion with the former exercises the other before-described spirituall exercises be so joyned together as that thou undertake not the one without the practise of the other For pray thou never so long and never so much to obtaine any vertue unlesse thou also labour and exercise thy self in the way to get it thou onely temptest God but obtainest not thy desire EXPLICATION FIftly remember that before thou Fifthly Thanksgiving for received favours demandest new favours thou art to render humble thanks for them thou hast formerly received by these or the like expressions O my good and gracious Lord God who hast made me redeemed me and rescued me from mine enemies oftner than I my selfe know or can conceive succour me now also and deny not to grant this my present petition though I have beene hitherto rebellious to thy will and ungratefull to thy goodnesse And if thy demand be for some particular vertue whereof thou now standest in great need by reason of some temptation trouble or contradiction which urgeth thee forget not to thank him for that occasion of thy triall and exercise which through his gracious assistance may redound so much to thy spirituall good Sixthly since Prayer hath it's Sixthly a reflexion upon Gods goodnesse and promise and Christs passion whole force power and hope of obtaining from Gods goodnesse and mercy from Christs merits and passion and from the divine promise therefore thou maist fitly usher in thy demands by some of these following sayings O my God graunt unto thy servant I beseech thee this grace for thy supreme goodnesse sake that thy most dear Sonnes merits may impetrate for me the graunt of my petition Remember ô my Lord thine owne loving promise and incline thine eares to hear my prayer At other times thou maist ask by the merits of the most glorious Virgin and suffrages of the Saints which are powerfull to prevaile in thy pious demands Seventhly Thou art to pray with Seventhly Perseverance perseverance For if the continued importunity of the Evangelicall widdow inflected the hard-hearted Judge to give her what she asked how shall perseverant petitions be rejected by him who is mercy and goodnesse it selfe Therefore after thy prayer Text. Prayer must also be strengthned with Hope strengthen thy soule with a live by Hope in God that through his infinite love he will bestow on thee the now demanded grace or gift or something that is better for thee or both together And although he so long delayes his answer that thou maist doubt he denyes what thou askest yet remaine constantly in this hope and never slacken therefore either thy prayer or thy practise or thy confidence And though God seemeth to reject thy prayer yet persevere knocking 3. Yea though it may seeme to thee that God rejecteth thee and thy prayer Yet doe thou still humble thy selfe more and more before him encreasing thy Faith and comforting thy self with hope in thy Saviour For the more fervently and frequently thou interposest this constant hope in God even in such violent repulses and as it were manifest reprobations of thy prayer the more thou becommest pleasing and gratefull unto him 4. And therefore thou art alwaies And alwayes thanking him as wel when he grants as when he denies to return him gratefull thanks whom thou acknowledgest no lesse good wise and loving in thy behalfe when he seemes to cast out thy petition than when he grants it Keep then an ever-constant couragious and joyfull mind in all events whether good or bad and humbly submit thy selfe to the infallible wisdome and all-ordering providence of thy Lord God CHAP. XXII What inward or mental prayer is and what Contemplation and the use thereof
honour is to him For to suffer for God is the best prayer and makes thee truly devout the most acceptable prayer And therefore to endure this drynesse with perfect patience and humble resignation makes thee truly devout because true devotion consists in no other thing than to have a ready will to follow Christ thy Lord with thy crosse on thy shoulder whither and which way hee pleaseth having and desiring God only for God and sometimes leaving God for God 9. If therefore spirituall persons especially Religious men and women would seeriously examine and measure their progresse in the way of perfection and piety by this Rule and not by the feeling of sensible devotion which many doe chiefly And not sensible devotion regard they surely would make better use of sensible comforts in their exercises of devotion which their loving Lord affords to make them more zealous in submitting to his sacred will which disposeth all things in order to our salvation and benefit Wherein many are deceived 10. And in this also many are much deceived that when they are troubled with impure and perverse thoughts they presently become fearfull and faint-hearted and as if God had utterly forsaken them thinke it impossible that his holy Spirit should inhabit a heart so troubled and tormented And they so intricate themselves in these fancies till by degrees they fall into a grievous dislike of themselves and lastly into a certain dangerous despaire Which they no sooner apprehend in themselves but they presently run to their wonted wayes to recover their quiet But hereby they shew themselves little gratefull to God who therfore permits them to be thus troubled and tempted to bring them to the cleare knowledge of their owne nothing that so as wretched frail and desolate creatures they may more seriously seeke him and more diligently draw near him 11. Wherefore ô my beloved What thou art to do in this distresse that which thou must doe in such a distresse is this Enter straight into a profound reflection upon thine own basenesse and there humble thy selfe and confesse thy peevish affections and passions and acknowledg thy pronesse to fall if left to thy selfe into all manner of wickednesse and that without thy loving Lords care and custody helpe and defence thou wouldst be cast downe headlong incontinently 12. This done raise thy heart with a good hope and confidence in thy Creatour seeing it is hee only who permitted thee to fall into this adversity that thou might'st take hold of the occasion to draw neerer unto him by humble prayer and therefore thou art obliged to render gratefull thanks to his divine Majesty for these-like troubles and temptations And take this as a certainty That all such perverse thoughts are sooner expelled with meeke sufferance and patience than with much solicitude and study CHAP. XXIX That the worthy frequenting of the most Blessed Sacrament is an efficacious meanes to conquer our passions THe sacred Communion or most holy Sacrament of the Eucharist is received by devout Christians for divers ends But if thou desirest to take it for the particular strengthning of thy soule against the assaults of evill inclinations attend to what I shall now teach thee 2. The day before thou intendest Meditate the day before thy Communion of thy Saviours desire c. to come to thee to communicate meditate if thy leasure give thee leave of the great desire thy dear Saviour hath to unite himselfe to thee by the meanes of this Sacrament and thereby to root out thy vitious affections For this his desire is so immense that no created understanding can comprehend it 3. But that thou maist have a small glimps thereof consider these two things First What pleasure our Lord takes to dwell in us since the holy Scripture calls this his delights and in My delights are to be with the children of men Child give me thy heart And how much he hateth sin requitall of this love he only requires our hearts Secondâ—y how much he hateth our sinnes which â—â—â—der his nearer union with us and are directly opposite to his incompaâ—â—ble perfections For he being the â—â—ely and chief good the purest light â—â—d most perfect beauty cannot but detest that which is meer darknesse frailty and the corruption and Canker of our wretched soules 4. And that this loving desire of thy dear Lord may take yet deeper impression in thy mind meditate often of his mervailous works related in the Old and New Testament especially of his most bitter Passion and cruell death which he did expresly suffer to deliver thy soul from sinne and to cleanse it from such affections as are contrary to his divine Majesty Concerning which point all the illuminated Doctours of Gods Church doe unanimously conclude and teach That Christ our Saviour would againe if it were needfull exposâ— himselfe to a thousand deaths to free us from the least evill passion or affection 5. By such considerations thou And move thy soul to a reciprocall desire and affection towards him wilt easily gather the great desire thy deare Saviour hath to dwell with thee and from thence conclude how fitting it is that thou shouldst reciprocally stirre up in thy selfe an ardent affection to receive and entertain him Which thou mayst do by these and the like jaculatory prayers Come ô my Lord and my love helpe thy caitif creature to conquer her enemies When ô when my deare spouse will that happy hour come that I may receive thee the bread of life and being comforted and encouraged by thee may fully conquer my selfe and totally subdue my owne evill passions and disordered affections 6. And when thou art hightned And then provoke thy passions to battail with the hope of thy sweet Saviours comming into thy soule then provoke thy passions to battaile call up thy affections and curb them againe and againe with perfect hatred and disdaine and this done produce acts and desires of the vertues which are opposite to these vices And let this be thy evenings entertainment and mornings â—mploymâ—â—t 7. But when the hour of sacred Being near the time of Communion thou art to fear communion draws neare think seriously of thine owne faults failings and unfaithfulnesse to thy Lord God since the time of thy last approach to the sacred table for which ingratitude and unworthinesse thou tremblest with fear and confusion before his dread Majesty But then againe encourage and comfort thy But also to have courage and coÌ„fidence selfe with the consideration of his goodnesse his readinesse to pardon and his inclination to mercy and with a pious confidence that he will have thee receive him notwithstanding thine own indignity go on with alacrity of spirit to the holy banquet and joyfully embrace thy Lord God in thy soul 8. The Sacred Communion thus After Communion discover thy wants performed presently shut up thy self within the closet of thine own heart and discover to thy Saviour thy
great use of this exercise for thy spirituall profit exercise of spirituall Communion with more reverence and profit frame thy intention over-night to apply all the mortifications of thy vicious passions all the acts of vertue and whatsoever good thou shalt any way performe for the obtaining of this happy effect and that thou maist worthily open the gate of thy heart to give due entertainement to so divine a guest And in the morning settle thy thoughts upon the serious consideration of the great happinesse of that sweet soule which worthily receives this most holy Sacrament whereby sins breaches are repaired lost vertues are restored languishing forces are recruted and each good returnes to its first beauty by the communication of the fruits of Christs merits and passion Then force and excite thy heart to an ardent desire of these comforts by thy Lords comming and turning towards him say O my Lord and my love I am not worthy to receive thee sacramentally but doe thou ô increated goodnesse and unlimited power pardon all my imperfections and make me worthy to receive thee spiritually to the honour of thy holy name and the true comfort of my poor soule CHAP. XXXII Of Thanks-giving ALL our good actions are of All goodnesse is from God God and from God and therefore a thankfull gratitude is due to him for all our well performed exercises for each victory obtained against our enemies and for all and singular his blessings and benefits 2. And that thou maist not be defective To whom therefore all gratitude must be shewed in this point of duty Remember that the chiefe motive why our omnipotent creatour conferres his mercies upon his creatures is that they should correspond to him in pious perpetuall and worthy thanksgiving And because our Lord God in bestowing his benefits intends principally his owne honour and secondly our profit doe thou likewise First therefore acknowledge his goodnesse in receiving them acknowledge in the first place his power wisdome and goodnesse which most gloriously shine in each one of them 3. And in the next place reflect upon And then thine own unworthynesse thine own unworthinesse of so great favours who art nothing else but ingratitude misery and basenesse And Lastly submit thy selfe to obey his divine will and pleasure and study to performe what thy Lord in lieu of these benefits expects from thee which is to love him chiefly to serve him carefully and to offer and dedicate thy selfe to him freely and totally as I shall now teach thee CHAP. XXXIII Of the perfect oblation of thy selfe to thy Lord God AFter thanks-giving for received favours the soule presently breaks forth into that delicious affection of the Royall Prophet What shall I render to my Lord for all the good things he hath given me That therefore thou maist doe something seeming like satisfaction by offering up to his Majesty all that thou art hast and canst and that entirely absolutely voluntarily and by an efficacious act of thy inward man 2. Consider first with a serious attention First consider Gods greatnesse and glory the greatnesse and glory of thy Lord God for upon this depends the perfect oblation of thy selfe and thou wilt find that there is a reverence and feare due to this his greatnesse and glory that there is a love due to his goodnesse that there is a hope confidence due to his mercy and so of his other attributes and perfections And thou shalt congratulate and rejoice with thy Lord God that he is what he is to wit the best greatest most wise most holy most happy most powerfull most infinite and that he hath all the perfections which he possesseth Thus multiplying many such amorous acts of complacence in thy heart 3. Then bow down the knees of soul and body with most profound 2. Adore and acknowledg him c. reverence before thy Lord and maker adoting his divine Majesty and acknowledging him to be the supream governour of all his creatures And particularly that whatsoever good thou hast by nature and by grace is his proper gift since he alone confer'd it upon thee and he alone conserves it in thee for thus thou must needs confesse thy self to be his debtor though thy offering be never so great because thou canst present him with nothing which is not already his owne and first proceeding from his liberality and bounty neither doth he lose his dominion thereof by conferring it upon thee 4. In the next place passe on to the 3. Offer up all thy interest in any thing oblation it selfe and deliver up all thine owne interest in whatsoever thou hast or canst into the holy hands of thy heavenly creatour with all possible cheerfulnesse and integrity that is offer up unto him all that he hath given thee and so restore thy whole selfe to thy God in perpetuall bondage to dispose of thee both in time in eternity as he best pleaseth Neither shall it suffice thee to make this oblation generally by presenting unto him the root and beginning of all thy thoughts words and works but thou shalt doe it peculiarly by presenting even those also which by reason of thy state thou art obliged to exercise to the honour glory of his sacred name 5. Lastly thou shalt unite this entire oblation of thy selfe and all that And unite all to the merits of Christ belongs to thee unto the merits of Jesus Christ the sweet spouse of thy soul that from thence it may have that value and esteeme which from it selfe thou canst not hope or expect And thus thou shalt end thy exercise by presenting the eternall Father with thy whole selfe and the Preâ—â—â—â—ing both together to the eternall Father holy merits of his onely Son joyned together with all his actions and sufferings from the crib unto the Crosse for all these are thy treasures which he at his death bequeathed by his last will and testament unto thee whom he left entitled to all his merits But remember that thou makest not this oblation for thy selfe alone but also for the universall Church and her members for thus it will be far more acceptable to God being sweetned with the incense of perfect charity 6. In like manner when thou wilt offer up thy fastings prayers or other So Likewise in offering thy works of piety pious works to thy Lord God consider that his holy Sonne thy sweet Saviour hath already presented them together with his owne to his eternall Father and so hath conjoyned and united them both together doe thou therefore offer up the same in the same manner by which thou shalt know that thy oblations proceed from a sincere heart And if thou practisest this in time of adversity thou wilt easily master all misery anguish pain and perils whatsoever duly fulfil Gods holy pleasure 7. If furthermore thou desirest to make an oblation of Christs actions for thine own offences he have thy How to offer
up Christ's actions for our offences selfe in this sort First cast an eye upon thy sinnes and perceiving that thou canst not hope to pacify Gods wrath nor satisfie his divine Iustice by thine owne endeavours addresse thy selfe to thy Saviours life passion and death and fix upon some one or other action or suffering of his as upon his fasting or his praying or the effusion of his precious bloud then reflect that he offered that his action or passion to his eternall Father for thy sins and to reconcile him to thee as if he said I do now O my heavenly Father fully satisfie thy divine justice for the sins of this thy servant N. Oh let it please thee to spare him and to receive him into the number of thy elect 8. Doe thou also make the same oblation of thy deare Saviour to the eternall Father and humbly beg for thy selfe and others that in vertue of this offering and for his owne glories sake he will in his mercy pardon both thine and their offences And thou maist piously and profitably make use of this manner of spirituall exercise in any action or passage of our Lord and Saviours life or passion EXPLICATION Another maner of perfect oblation TO the end thy oblation of thy Christ here on earth offered not only himself selfe may be acceptable to the divine Majesty Consider that whilst our Saviour so journed here upon earth he perpetually offered up to his eternall father not onely himself and all his merits but also all us mortalls together with himself But also al us to his Father Make therefore thy Oblation in vertue and union of his yea make the self-same oblation of Jesus Christ in which he also comprehended thee Make thou the same oblation and let this thy oblation be without the least touch of propriety or selfe-wil neither regarding earthly goods nor heavenly graces but purely and precisely looking upon the divine pleasure and providence to which thou art entirely to submit and sacrifice thy selfe as a perpetuall holocaust and forgetting all things created say unto thy Lord God Behold ô my good God ô my great Creatour a small lump of mire and earth mixed together in the hands of thy eternall providence do with me what best pleaseth thee in my life at my death and after my death in time and in eternity And thou mayst give a How to know the sincerity of thy oblation probable guesse concerning thy own oblation that it proceeds from a sincere and disinteressed heart if thou canst perfectly practise it in time of adversity bearing it with true patience and being then ready to execute Gods holy will in all thy desolations and distresses This is the right way o my dearly beloved to make a beneficiall truck and traffick of thy self for thy Saviour who will give thee himselfe in exchange if thou bequeathest and sacrificest thy selfe thus totally to his divine Majesty CHAP. XXXIV How to petition for divine grace HAving made this perfect oblation Text. First encourage thy selfe with confidence in his goodnesse of this most precious treasure which is no lesse than Christ himselfe with all his glorious merits to the Eternall Father thou mayst appeare with Confidence before the throne of his mercy to petition for the supply of thy necessities And that thou mayst doe it with the more decency First encourage thy selfe with confidence remembring his benefits bounty and liberality towards thee for nothing can more strengthen thy hope of obtaining new supplies than than the reflection upon Gods former favours in time of necessity And know that this confidence gives the whole efficacy to thy petition so that without it never expect to obtain from God any thing which thou demandest 2. Secondly Take speciall care that Secondly join humility with it this Confidence be coupled with humility distrusting totally thine owne merits and relying boldly upon Christs mercies Not that I advise thee to become fearfull and pusilanimous upon pretence of humillity so as not to beg large benefits from Gods bounty For though it behooves to know thine own basenesse and to consider how litle thou deservest yet thou must beware of distrusting the divine bounty or undervaluing his liberality No be not dejected for as thou deservest nothing so thou hast greater occasion to demand much since Gods gifts are not grounded upon thy deserts but upon Christs merits which are Thirdly presse thy petition with fervent desires of infinite worth and dignity 3. Thirdly Endeavour to presse thy petition with frequent and fervent desires that is that thou aâ—dently wish to obtain what thou askest for since thou petitionest a most pious father for a supply of thy necessities who not onely bids thee ask great things but is also angry if thou askest not and hath past his promise to perform thy petition why shouldst thou not have inflamed desires â—o obtain what thou demandest 4. And indeed we most commonly The want whereof hinders the effect of our demands faile in the effects of our demands because we want this fervour in our desires and make our petitions tepidly rather because faith and reason dictate unto us that such things are needfull for us than that we zelously covet to receive them The true cause of which tepidity is for that our affections being fastned to earthly things we prize them in our wills though we sleight them in our understandings and consequently though we know in our judgement that our minds are to be raised up to higher objects yet we doe not seriously seek to be separated from them whereas if we verily and vigorously humbly and heartily desired it our prayers would soon return us a happy effect 5. Lastly provide that thy petition Fourthly Let not thy petition want Charity want not First Affection of charity to thy neighbours for it should not suffice thee to pray fervently for thy self but to extend thy piety in petitioning the divine grace for all others Secondly Perseverance For our Perseverance loving Lord useth sometimes to prolong and to put off the fulfilling of our petition for our greater profit and the better encrease and enkindling of our holy desires as may be exemplified in the Cananean woman and Evangelicall widdow Thirdly Resignation of thy will Refignation For thou art to represent thy desires to thy deare Lord as if thou rather expectedst the fulfilling of his divine pleasure than of thy petition So Christ prayed in the garden not to have his owne will but his heavenly Fathers accomplished CHAP. XXXV Some short observations concerning meditation FIâ—st Before thou betakest thy self 1. 1. Read overnight the matter of thy meditation to thy nights rest read attentively and considerately that mystery of thy Saviours life or that argument which thou meanest to meditate upon the morning following and contracting it into two or three points or heads commit it to thy memory 2. When thou awakest from sleep 2. Reflect
without any foregoing meditation or precedent search into divine mysteries draws up forthwith the lovers affection to his beloved Lord which is more and more stretched intended and inlarged by these ardent ejaculations of the soul thus familiarly conferring communing treating and talking with her Creator and raising up her self to him by acts of love and desires of conjunction And we may fitly say that the solid foundation of invvard perfection is contained in such acts motions and tendances of our Souls towards God their neighbours and themselves as the outvvard consists in the practical performance of our duties in relation to the same three objects Make use therefore O dear souls of these affective Devotions daily diligently and perseverantly and you shall soon perceive a happy and heavenly change in your souls you shall feel your faith strengthned your devotion actuated your good desires prepared and put in real performances your pious intentions ripened for executions and your well-made purposes and resolutions forwarded to leap into the punctual and particular observation of each part of your duty towards God the world and your selves The Seven Exercises The 1. Exercise For Monday Of the Knowledge of God and Confidence in him The 2. Exercise For Tuesday Of the Knowledge and Diffidence in our selves The 3. Exercise For Wednesday Of obtaining Remission of our sins The 4. Exercise For Thursday Of subduing Sensuality to Reason The 5. Exercise For Friday Of Mortification and perfect Abnegation The 6. Exercise For Saturday Of Conformity to Christ Crucifyed The 7. Exercise For Sunday Of perfect Vnion with God FOR MONDAY Of the Knowledge of God and Confidence in him The First Exercise 1. TO know thee O divine fountain of goodness is to be truly happy and yet none can know thee O boundless and bottomless Sea of all perfections but through thine own manifestation and mercy Vouchsafe therefore I beseech thee ô most loving and liberal Lord to enter this poor empty heart of thy meanest servant to inform my ignorant soul with a glimpse of this necessary science and to inflame my cold affection with a small spark of thy holy love O omnipotent Creator of heaven and earth both which thou fillest with thy greatness and glory O God of infinite power excellent wisdom unmeasurable goodness and incomprehensible love my soul thirsts after thee the essential source of all felicity my heart seeks thee the proper place of it's repose it sighs to thee the natural centre of all it's hope and happiness IN thy blessed mind ô my God it first rested in it's eternall possibility and similitude thither it must again return and there it must either rest eternally or perish for evermore O let it now find thee that it may ever love thee 2. O Lord most good glorious and gracious most blessed and bountiful most high and holy most excellent and ineffable What words or thoughts can express thy purity and perfection Let me know thee O thou life of my soul Let me see thee O true light of my eyes Let me seek thee O thou only solace of my spirit Let me find thee O thou desired of my heart Let me embrace thee O my heavenly Spouse Let me possess thee O thou soveraign sweetnes and full satiety of all my inward and outward senses O that my heart could alwayes think on thee my will ever love thee my mind still remember thee my understanding continually conceive thee my reason perpetually adhere to thee and my whole man incessantly praise thee O hide not thy face from me my joy my light and my life If I may not see thee and live O let me dy that I may see thee I desire to dy here and be dissolved that I may see thee know thee come to thee live with thee and love thee eternally O ever blessed and glorious divinity O Father who of thine own substance bringest forth an ineffable goodness coequal consubstantial and coeternal with thy self which is thy Some O Father and Son who loving each other with infinite charity and content are united together in one Holy Ghost equally and unspeakably proceeding from you both I admire thee adore thee and worship thee with all the powers of my body and soul 3. O sacred Deity O Tri-Unity and Vni-Trinity O Father Sâ—n and Holy Ghost Holy holy holy Lord God of hosts who wert art and shalt be for ever almighty I thy poor creature prostrate before the Throne of thy Divine Majesty from the abyss of my own nothing invoke adore and acknowledge thee the abyss of all perfection I present thee with al thine own gifts goods and graces which thou hast plentifully powred out upon all thy creatures I offer up to thy praise the affections of Angels and men the properties of the elements the beauty and motion of the whole universe and the essence of all being O that my soul were capable to comprise unitedly all their severall affections and perfections how joyfully would it employ them in thy praise how sweetly would it melt away in thy presence Behold O my God I make an intire oblation of them all I acknowledge and adore thee with them all and desire to do it as frequently as I breathe and as often as there are minutes in time stars in the firmament sands in the Ocean and numbers in all nature O my Lord whose love is the life of my soul increase my knowledge of thee that I may enlarge my love to thee Alas I love thee not ô amiable Lord God because I know thee not I know thee not because darkness and sin hath covered and incompassed my understanding Wherefore ô bright light who illuminatest all things expell this darkness from my soul drive off these clouds from my understanding draw the curtain from off the face of the abyss of my mind that I may see and know thee and then I shall not choose but love thee O my dear Jesu shew me thy divine Father dart a beam of thy heavenly splendour into my dull heart that I may have some degree of that holy science which may help me in thy love make me obedient to thy will and resolute in thy service To know all things of this world ô Jesu and not to know thee is but ignorance and folly let me therefore know thy eternal Father and thee whom he sent for my salvation and it sufficeth me O give me this knowledge that I may give thee my love and I ask no more Let me be unknowing ignorant and a fool in all other things so I may wisely know thee only ô my God and my all 4. O King of glory I acknowledge thy perfections to be above all knowledge but that of thy own divine understanding I confess that thy height is unreachable thy goodness unchangable thy greatness incomprehensible thy light inaccessible And all other thy divine attributes and perfections are so mighty and so many so good and so glorious so excellent and so admirable
so worthy and so wonderfull that were all the power and prerogatives all the vertue wisdom and qualities of all creatures united in one individual nature it were not so much in respect of thy glory and greatness as the least drop of water is in comparison of the vast Ocean Wherefore I beg of thee O immense and inaccessible Godhead only so much to know conceive believe and understand of thy hidden majesty as may efficaciously move my will to thee and I content my self with so much light of thy divinity as may force me to love thee ardently effectually perseverantly O my Lord and my love Fill my heart with the sweet influence of thy heavenly grace that I may in some measure discover how good and gracious thou art to me and to all thy creatures O let me still remember thy mercy ever dread thy justice and continually admire and adore thy power and providence Ah! my noble Soul stampt with thy Creators lovely image endowed with the excellencies of understanding to know him of will to love him of Memory to rest in him why adherest thou not fast to him only in pure and perfect delight forgetting and forgoing all sensible and worldly objects 5. O that I were so ravished with thy love and liking my only amiable Lord God that through joy jubily and admiration I might feel no self at all no sense no change no inequality That no prosperity might puff me up no adversity deject me no accident separate me from thee ô my God of infinite love and liberality O that I could be ever joyful in thee ever gratefull to thee and ever mindfull of thy inhabiting presence within me Thou are alwayes nearer to my soul ô my good God than my soul is to my body alwayes conserving counselling disposing directing inciting and inspiring it to thy love and wilt thou not ô my sensless and sinful soul be alwayes cautious and circumspect how thou behavest thy self in thy Lords presence who is so tenderly carefull of thy safety O let his love be no longer neglected his sweet invitations no longer slighted O that thou wouldst henceforth walk before him as befits his chast and holy Spouse with all respect and reverence fear and fidelity courage and constancy preparing thy self diligently for his divine embraces 6. Grant I beseech thee ô mighty and mercifull Creator that my whole time and thoughts may be totally taken up in the contemplation of thy unmeasurable benefits and bounty towards me For I know Lord that I am truly nothing and yet thou carest for me ô my loving maker as if thou hadst no other creature in heaven or earth thou deliverest me from innumerable dangers adornest me with many gifts and graces givest me leave at all times to have free access to thy throne of mercy so that with one holy thought one humble sigh one devout desire I may draw neer to thee and enjoy thee and in thee all comfort and content O divine privilege To discover to thee my wants lay open my wounds and boldly declare my wishes as to my neerest dearest and trustiest friend and familiar and to be sure of supplies salves and succour in all my necessities O what goodness what grace what mercy is this O my soul How loving and liberall a Lord have we how loving in mercy how liberal in bounty Ah! our unthankfulness to requite our unworthiness to deserve his favors Up my heart be no longer ungratefull and unfaithfull to so great good and gracious a benefactour Yes ô blessed and bountiful giver I now say cordially and will ever stand to iâ— coâ—ragiously I will henceforth love thee ô my Lord my love my life my strength my support my home my harbor and my happiness I will remember thy sweet words to all sinners Why will you perish O children As I live I desire not the death of a sinner but that he would turn to me anâ— live I will behold thy sacred wounds suffered for me able to move a rock to love and compassion And though I am ashamed to think what I have been and how little I have done how much thou hast endured for me how long thou hast expected me how lovingly thou hast besought me and how poorly I have corresponded to thee Yet I know ô my Lord thou ceasest not to be God and good though I am weak and wicked Therefore I will take yet courage in thy service and confidently hope that thou who sought'st after me a lost sheep wilt mercifully receive me now I seek after thee my loving shepheard with a right intention real resolution and inflamed affection 7. Yes ô my Lord and my love heaven and earth shall sooner perishâ— than my confidence in thy sweet mercies and my Saviours merits If thou repell me I will run after thee If thou shut thy door against me I will never leave knocking and if thou kill'st me yet I will trust in thee I wholly cast my self upon thy holy will providence and protection I protest with heart and mouth that I now am and henceforth will be entirely thine that I have nothing seek nothing fear nothing desire nothing demand nothing want nothing will nothing but thee onely My Lord my Love and my All. And I firmly purpose to serve and love thee ô sacred and supream Majesty simply sincerely purely and perseverantly not for any fear of pains or punishment not for any self-interest of what this world can offer or the next afford not for the least hope of heaven or happinesse but I will thee seek thee and love thee for thy self only ô my all-sufficient Lord God who art the sole object sweet compleatment and solid contentment of my soul Pardon me protect me and provide for me For thou art my only hope and happiness FOR TVESDAY Of the Knowledge and diffidence in our selves The Second Exercise 1. WHat is man ô Omnipotent Creator what is this man that thou shouldst be mindfull of him He is nothing ô Lord and I am the least and worst of those nothings because I have least corresponded to thy grace and made worst use of thy gifts O give me ligâ—t reach forth thy hand to this blind creature crying after thee O thou true light of the world and life of my soul that now at length I may duly diligently cordially and abyssally dive into my own basenes weakness misery nothing that knowing what I truly am I may really loathe hate distrust despise and deny my self and all my own proceedings sincerely love thee only trust and hope in thee and rely wholly upon thy divine providence and protection I am not only content ô my Lord God but even willing and desirous that all thy creatures should take me and treat me according to my true condition and unworthynesse And I am resolved by thy grace to humble my self not only under thy mighty hand but also under all their feet as their servant and slave to be troden on abhorred avoided and detested by
thine my merits are thy mercies my goods thy graces yet I neither have been thankfull for receiving them nor faithfull in using them O! when did I trust in my own strength and was not foiled and confounded Grant therefore O my Lord ô my only hope and help O my sole safety and security that I may totally trust to thee and distrust my self truly acknowledge thee and deny my self entirely love thee and hate my self 6. I confess ô my Lord that I am the poorest ungratefullest unprofitablest and unworthyest worm of the earth a thing altogether useless to the world and only active to offend thee and to do wickedly in thy sight and is it possible that I can harbor any thought of self-love or self-I king O God of infinite glory greatness and majesty before whom the powers of heaven do tremble what are all creatures in thy sight and what am I the meanest of them all O what proportion is there great God between me and thee between thy All and my Nothing And yet have I infring'd thy laws disobey'd thy commands contemned thy Counsels resisted thy callings and contradicted thy will to prefer my own O monstrous impiety and ingratitude And shall I not willingly submit to all pain punishment contradiction and contempt which thou ô my highly offended creatour shalt suffer thy creatures to inflict upon me Behold O my Lord I debase humble and annihilate my self under all things that have a being I will henceforth utterly hate distrust and detest my self and wholly love thee and relie upon thy mercy O holy self-knowledge O sacred humility thou art the key of all perfection the door of all solid vertue piety and devotion 7. I now cleerly see by the light of thy divine goodness O gracious Lord God what hath hitherto been the cause of my â—on-proficiency in the way of the Spirit and why the path of vertue seemed and so unpleasant thornie tedious and troublesome to my deceived soul It was because I had not learned to leave loath deny and distrust myself and to rely wholly on thee O my only comfort and support I will therefore henceforth faithfully practise what I perceive so necessary I will profoundly humble my soul both inwardly in thy presence O my Lord and outwardly to the whole world I will joyfully and voluntarily embrace all injury indignity contempt correction and confusion which can befall me with as much pleasure as I have formerly any cherishings and kindness I will utterly destroy ruine and root out all self-love self-liking self-seeking self-praise and self-complacencie I will cast my self under the feet of the vilest creatures take pleasure in the meanest employments and obey them most willingly whom my nature most distasts and dislikes I will walk before thee O my Creator as thy needy naked desolate and destitute vassal acknowledging my self void of all vertue and attributing to my self nothing but sin ingratitude defects failings imperfections I will fully perswade my self that no one can contemn confound persecute and punish me as I deserve I will not regard whether I am honored or hated but imagine my self as a thing dead forgotten or as that which never had a being and is now truly nothing I will be contented to be accounted an hypocrite in my sincerest actions and to be thought full of inward impatience secret grudgings and desires of revenge against them who shall any way mortify or misuse me though my heart be never so free from it Finally I will have these and the like thoughts and words alwayes in my heart and mouth I am nothing I have nothing I do no good I am an unprofitable servant I utterly hate and distrust my self and totally rely upon thee O my Lord my love and my All. FOR WEDNESDAY To obtain Remission of our Sins The Third Exercise 1. WHo will give water to my head and fountains of tears to my eyes And I will weep day and night for my sins which cover me all over like an incurable ulcer from the soal of the foot to the crown of the head Where art thou O my wretched and wicked soul In what labyrinths dost thou walk In what sinks of sin and puddles of uncleaness dost thou wallow Awake arise lament repent how long wilt thou sleep why wilt thou dy when wilt thou shake off thy fetters Ah return silly sheep to thy good Pastour return poor prodigal to thy pious Father whose goodness so lovingly invites thee whose mercy hath so long expected thee O great and glorious God the mighty Monarch of heaven and earth King of Kings and Lord of Lords behold a poor and penitent Publican who is ashamed to lift up his eyes to heaven and unworthy to take thy sacred name into his sinfull mouth humbly knocking at thy gate of mercy clipping thy holy feet and craving thy accustomed pity and compassion O merciful Lord hide not thy self from me shut not the door against me Oh! one crum of comfort one dram of devotion to my sad and sick soul to my dry and desolate spirit 2. I am conscious of my ingratitude against thee O supream majesty and my sin is always before me and confounding me But whither should I retire my self from thee To whom should I have recourse but unto thee Art not thou my Father my Father of mercies which have neither limits nor measure Art not thou my Maker my preserver my governor my deliverer my King my Pastor my Physician my Priest and my Sacrifice If thou art not all this and more to me and if I am nothing to thee refuse me reject me and relinquish me a prey to be swallowed up by thy enemies But it is time O my Lord that heaven and earth take notice of what thou art to me and what I am to thee It is time thou enter into thy right And I must now either give my self to thee or thou must take me unto thee Not that I aspire to those excellent prerogatives of thy dearest servants No my Lord it sufficeth me to be in the out-rank of thy meanest slaves to be only stamp'd with thy mark and link'd fast in thy chains that I may never more have the power to fly from thee O grant me this favour most merciful Father which thy dear Son hath purchased for me by the price of his death and passion I am fall'n without thee by my own frailty but can never hope to rise but by thy mercy O my Lord and only support I am sick without thee but cannot be cured without thee my heavenly Physician I am dead without thee but can never be revived but by thee ô life of my soul So true it is that to make me come to thee thou ô most gracious Lord God must first come to me O the admirable goodness of my loving Lord Even this little I am doing is rather thine own work than mine Thou O my Lord puttest repentance into my soul desires into my heart sighs into my brest
I abhor and detest whatsoever I have done said thought or desired contrary to thy holy will O my Lord and my love I renounce all company and occasions which may induce me to offend thee 7. I cast my self at thy sacred feet to be thy slave for ever with a firm resolution to bear thy Cross till death and to do penance and satisfaction for my past pride and pleasure desiring nothing but to live at thy feet like the penitent Magdalen in solitude silence submission O good Jesu Out of thy infinit mercy merits and meekness suffer not me thy poor creature to be damned and separated from thee eternally O amiable eternity O eternall amitie of God! Shall I leave and lose thee for filthy pleasures frail creatures fond friendships fading honours No dear Lord No Lâ—â— it please thee rather to take my soul out of my body than thy love out of my soul let me rather dy miserably then sin mortally Let me pass on the rest of my pilgrimage in thy grace and fear that I may end my dayes in thy friendship and favour which I beseech thee to grant me O most powerfull and mercifull Savior by the love of thy sweet heart by the merits of thy bitter death and passion by the intercession of thy Blessed Mother and by the suffrages of all holy happy and devout souls Upon all which relying as upon so many sure anchors of my hope I commit and resigne my self to thy disposition and providence for time and eternity O my Lord my love and my All fully trusting that thou wilt mercifully pardon my sins carefully assist me in my wants and weaknesses and in the end happily bring me to eternall bliss by such means as thy divine wisdom knows most convenient for me FOR THVRSDAY Of Subduing Sensuality to Reason The Fourth Exercise 1. MY Spirit is willing O most glorious and gracious Lord God to serve thee love thee honour thee and follow thee but my flesh is weak frail and refractory I do not what I desire O my God and what thou demandest but I act that which I hate and what thou forbiddest I feel O my Lord a law of sensuality contradicting the law of my mind captivating my reason clouding my judgement and continually striving to cast me down headlong into sin and perdition Unhappy man that I am Who will free me from this body of death Ah my brutish body ah my burdensom flesh Thou art my dangerous and deadly enemy 'T is thy weight that depresseth my soul thy earth that clogâ— and corrupts my ayr thy contagion and perversity which infects and debaseth my better part and heavenly portion thy sensuality which draws on endangers and almost destroys my reason 2. Ah Sensuality the source of all my misery how justly do I now hate thee and how willingly would I leave thee At my first acquaintance with thee thou defiledst me with original sin In my infancy thou mad'st a beast of me And now in my riper years thou still pursuest me proclaimest open war with me blindest my Understanding with darknes ignorance and errours mak'st my Will refractory to good and ready to all evil distractest my Memory with vain and vile fancies and perpetually tossest me to and fro between love and hatred joy and grief hope and fear and the rest of thy numerous and enormous irascible and concupiscible powers and passions Ay me how sad is my state how deplorable my condition Oh! how long Lord must I dwel with these devils how long must I endure the violence of these passions O my Lord my strength and my salvation break these fetters for me Command a calm O thou only Ruler of Sea and winds and appease the surges of these my unmortified appetites Oh! restore me to my self again reduce reason to her lost dominion in my soul and bring back me thy poor creature to thee my powerfull Creator O let not this passenger perish amidst these boysterous billows nor suffer utter shipwarck in these fearfull tempests I suffer violence O my Lord answer for me the companion which thou hast given me hath deceived me Sense hath corrupted and conquered my Judgment Oh! how I am dragg'd up and down by my al-mastering appetites commanded by my servants and fettered by my slaves O tyranny O indignity Ah my soul O noble spirit fair as the angels formed to thy Creators lovely resemblance stampt with his divine character and heir apparent to his glorious kingdom To be thus subject to the base and brutall desires of flesh and blood O intollerable bondage O unworthy servitude 3. O Father of mercies and only Physician of my soul Thou art almighty and al-al-mercy and I am all weakness and all misery There is no part left sincere in my whole body and soul from the contagious poyson of passion from the infectious leprosy of sin and sensuality All is out of order O my Lord I acknowledge it to my own shame and confusion each sense is gone astray each member of my body is corrupted each power of my soul is perverted My Understanding is obscured with self-love my Memory distâ—acted with sensual â—bâ—ects my Will posses'd with peevish inclinâ—tions My affections are vain my passions violent my dispositions vitious My body is burdensome my imagination troublesome my life irksome These are my wounds O my heavenly Surgeon O put to thy helping hand I beseech thee see fear and search them before the gangren enter and the grief grow incurable My soul is sick even to death if thou wilt O my Lord thou canst both cleanse and cure me To this end thou descendedst from Jerusalem to Jerico O pious Samaritan from heaven to earth O compassionate Saviour where thou findest me in this pitifull plight sore beaten wounded half dead and utterly despoiled of all natural and spiritual riches by theeves and robbers which are the senses of my body and the faculties of my soul O pass not by me sweet Jesu but mercifully bind up my bleeding wounds with the swathing bands of thy death and passion powre upon them the wine of thy pretious blood and supple them with the oyl of thy heavenly grace 4. I intend ô my Lord strengthen me in this hour I intend O sweet Saviour a total reformation of life and manners an intire mortification of my corporeal senses and spiritual faculties an absolute change in my whole man O grant me I beseech thee my loving Lord the powerful assistance of thy special grace for the performance of this great and good purpose Teach me now ô my blessed Master to live inwardly piously spiritually as I lov'd formerly to live outwardly vainly sensually O let me henceforth yield to thy divine motion obey thy call imitate thy example and follow thy will O let me never more act or omit any thing be it never so little for my own liking but purely and perfectly for thy love 5. Grant ô good Jesu that at each word of my mouth at each glance
possess my heart that there were no room at all remaining for any bastard or base love of things created Good Jesu how truly happy and holy should I be if I could clearly behold my own nothing in thy all if I could embrace crosses as crowns and swallow down all contemprs and confusions as milk and hony O when shall I be so elevated in spirit above my self by extasie of love as to be able and willing to humble my self under all creatures without repugnancy Alas shall I never be content to forsake all and be forsaken by all Yea having lost and left all foâ— One to be left by that One who iâ— my All and so remain quiet iâ— my own nothing How long shall I he wallowing in flesh and blood how long shall I delay and dally in false loves How long shall I sigh and not enjoy seek and not find live and not love Come my Lord and love Lord Jesu come quickly Let the fire of thy sweet love so consume in me aâ—l dross of self-love and so transform my spirit into thee that I may take all from thee indifferently give all to thee liberally and rest and repose in thee â—ternally Lord let me be thine or nothing Love or not live The third Part is the Conclusion which consists also of three Acts. 1. Contrition which is a hearty and humble sorrow for our sins ingratitâ—des disloyalties tepiditie c. O my God! how little did I love 3. Part. 1. Contrition thee when I so carelesly offended thy Majesty Oh! that I had never sinned mortally though it had cost me my life immediately O that I were sure never more to swerve from thy sacred will and commandements Let me henceforth endure dear Jesu a thousand deaths of my body rather than admit one deadly sin again into my soul O pity and pardon my past follies and frailties and prevent me with thy gracious blessings against future fallings How great ô Lord is my obligation to serve and please thee were it but for thy favours conferr'd thy benefits bestow'd and thy love powr'd out upon me and yet ungrateful wretch that I am how poorly have I corresponded Oh! that I had so deep a sense of my sins that my heart might break with sorrow Hide not ô Lord thy face from me shut not up thy mercy gates against me for though I have most grievously gone astray yet I am resolv'd upon an entire amendment correction reformation of my whole man this strong resolution which is thy gracious gift grounds my hope in thy goodness emboldens my confidence in thâ— mercy and gives me courage and comfort in thy love 2. Resignation in all our wanâ—â— wishes desolations and distresses â—â— the divine will and pleasure I am indifferent O my dear Lord 2. Resignation to sickness and health to light and darkness to delight and desolation I am thine sweet Jesu put me where thou wilt do with me as thou wilt send me what thou wilt I am content not only to have nothing but to be nothing so thou â— my Lord be all things unto me I acknowledge my self unworthy to beg and less worthy to obtain and therefore I resign my self still to beg and yet still to want even that which I most wish which is all light all liberty all love all comfort all content yea even all vertu peace and perfection so long as it shall please thee O father I am thine ever thine all thine body and soul for time and eternity Live Jesus only 3. Complacence and confidence the first that our God is what he is the next that he will heal our wounds supply our wants satisfie our wishes and turn all to our good I am glad ô my glorious Lord 3. Complacence and Confidence God that thou art so worthy of all love though I of all others am not worthy to love thee I am as joyful for what thou art o great God as if all thou hast were all mine and I will love thee in all I am and have as being all thine Thy Cross is my comfort thy Will my well fare and thy love my life so that if I can but suffer for thee do thy will and follow thy love I shall do all that is necessary I am indeed dry dark and desolate but since it is thy will I am sure it is my good and therefore sufficient for me and satisfactory to thee I hope thou wilt one day compleat thy own heavenly design in my soul healing my wounds supplying my wants fulfilling my desires and filling my yet empty heart with thy sweet presence and perfect love In the mean space I will say and sing Live Jâ—sus Live my Lord my love my life my all whose name bâ— blessed by all whose will be accomplishâ—d in all whose honour be advanced above all An advertisement touching the precedent Exercise 1. We must perform it dayly diligently discreetly and with great confidence and courage 2. Yet without propriety that it may neither hinder the operation of the Holy Ghost within nor works of due obligation and obedience without 3. If in the practise of this introversion we find dryness and feel little devotion we may somtimes fitly resume in lieu of the second part or consideration our wonted exercises whereto our minds are more addicted ending the same with the Conclusion here prescribed being ever duly disposed to follow the holy Spirits invitation to higher matters If we faithfully observe these things we shall infallibly receive comfort and speedily perceive our own unspeakable profit and progress by the practise of this pious exercise as being indeed the end of all other externall devotions and the short sure simple and Râ—gia via leading to a spirituall devout and divine life The third Maxim That of all internal Prayer the affective is most noble necessary and profitable FOr the end and drift of all discoursive Prayer is to move inflame and enkindle our affections in the love of God and vertue and therefore all discourses must be left by little and little as our souls can more and more live in Faith and simplifie themselves from materiall objects images and conceptions and only tend to God by a sweet and secret motion of the will an amourous correspondency to the Divine operations and inward impulses of his holy Spirit treading down and transcending all things under God by discreetly forgetting and unknowing them The fourth Maxim That Meditation is a seeking Contemplation a seeing of God PRayer in generall according to As is more amply declared in our Introduction to the Spiritual Pilgrimage the known division is either Vocall or Mental Mentall Prayer is An Elevation of our spirits into God For as our Creatour is elevated above all creatures so our souls cannot see talk and treat with him purely and perfectly but by leaving them all and lifting up themselves above them all This Elevation is by means of Meditation Contemplation Thanksgiving and Petition Which
the morning and the other in the evening to his particular honour 4. That we must frame an act of pure Intention at our entrance into Recollection as thus I intend ô my God to employ each moment of the short time I shall remain in thy presence in adoring thy Majesty admiring thy goodness begging thy pardon for my offences thy mercy for the souls in Purgatory thy succour for the Churches necessities thy assistance in such an extremity thy strength against such an inclination thy grace for the getting such a vertue I am here on my knees ô Lord to perform these homages and present these petitions This Intention will virtually endure the whole time of prayer and make our seeming idleness and stâ—lâ—ess active and meritorious 5. That we must briefly examine our Consciences and produce acts of Contrition self-confusion humility and resolutions of amendment Saying from the very bottom of our hearts in this or the like manner O my Lord my God my 〈◊〉 thou deservest all praise honour and service because thou art good gracious and glorious I will henceforth rather lose all than leave thee ô my God without whom all is nothing and since thou art so good in thy self and so good to me I will by thy grace never more offend thee I will confess my sins amend my life perform my penance walk carefully humbly obediently resignedly in thy presence to all which I am principally moved by the infinite greatness beauty and bounty of thine own divine being and perfection In the particular examen of our consciences which must never be omitted in the beginning of our Recollection we must mark to what vice we are most inclin'd and wherin we are most frail and then trample Read the Spir. Confl c. 7. n. 1. 4. that down violently and resolutely for this Captain-imperfection being conquered the rest will soon yield and submit And in the next examen we must impartially search and censure our selves and see whether our falls in that kind are still as frequent as they were formerly and so set upon our enemy again with fresh fervour vigour courage and constancy till we have gotten the compleat victory 6. That we must also make an Act of perfect Resignation before we fall upon this Exercise Leaving our selves intirely in Gods hands He is our father let him dispose of his children and all that concerns them as he best pleaseth saying O my Lord my father my lover do with my life my health my temporals my spirituals my body my soul all all as thou wilt I come not hither to receive my own content but to learn how to conform me to thy will in all things and to remain in that very state neither more nor less nor otherwise which best pleaseth thy divine Majesty 7. That we must bring with us some theam subject or groundwork of our Prayer and Recollection As some mystery of our Saviours life death Passion mans last ends some vice to be conquered some vertue to be attained some divine perfection to be admired or some jaculatory sentence to be so long stayed on and chewed till our souls feel themselves inclined to quit all discoursing and acting and to remain quiet in an exercise of pure Faith and perfect Resignation as followeth 8. That we must look on God by Faith and leave off all discourseâ— When lively conceiving by Faith that our Lord is in us and in all things we humbly beg him to teach us the holy lesson of divine love and so keeping our selves in his presence bidding good night to all creatures objects and images whatsoever as at this time nothing concerning us we only and immediately eye the beloved object of our souls and rest quietly contentedly silently and sweetly absorpt into the Diviniâ—y 9. That we must carry God with us from our Prayer Let us not leave our dear Lord in the Oratory when we rise from Recollection but bear him along with us continually in our hearts talking still with him and of him eating and drinking in his company sleeping with him in our arms negotiating walking recreating doing all things with him in him for him and ever praying and praysing him whom we have with us and within us in the closet of our souls 10. That we must put on Christ and imitate his example in all our actions Our Saviour Christ is our Master let his life therefore be our modell and his practises the patterns which we always study to express and imitate Let us comport our selves in eating drinking sleeping speaking praying and doing all things as we conceive Christ did or would do upon the like occasions if he were now living upon earth in his humanity Let us study to have this Rule of three alwayes at our fingers ends 1. To think as Jesus did 2. To speak as Jesus did 3. To do as Jesus did So striving to become as it were a Jesus Christ by imitation Thus briefly we have the whole manner and method of this transcendent Prayer and divine exercise of Recollection to wit 1. To get into our retreat 2. and there placing our selves on our knees 3. Twice every day 4. to frame an act of pure Intention 5. To examin our consciences and produce acts of Contrition 6. and Resignation Then to 7. think on the subject of our prayer 8. Leave off all discourses and look on God by faith 9 Carry God with us from prayer and 10 lastly put on Christ by imitation Which is the short and secure way to divine union and Deiformity being faithfully performed discreetly practised and carefully accompanied with profound humility perfect obedience and an absolute submission to our spiritual director as shall be more fully deduced in the subsequent Maxims The sixth Maxim That for this pure perfect and Transcendent prayer no certain Rules can be prescribed THe ground of all Prayer even purest is as hath been said some mystery some devout sentence some vertu or some jaculatory dart c. untill our affection be moved Now if by continuall Introvâ—rsion and peculiar grace our Wils are drawn incontinently by the simple view of our beloved Lord it is needless to use this ordinary means When our affections are thus enkindled they break forth into flames of love and aspirations Then the heat increasing our Prayer grows more inward our sighs deeper our love greater our hearts more ardent in their desires of Union which is active Contemplation Wherewith our souls being overcome and drowned in tâ—eir lovers presence leave him to speak move act all things with us and within us and so we sleep in passive Contemplation freed from all objects of creatures and sweetly united by pure love to our Creator The degrees therefore of Prayer in generall are these 1. Devout reading or mix'd Prayer The degrees of Prayer in generall 2. Vocall Prayer 3. Meditation or consideration 4. When the affection is excited Vocall aspirations 5. The heat and light encreasing mix'd partly Vocall partly Mentall
most certain that whosoever leaves Recollection to look after earthly consolation enjoys neither God nor the world whereas a soul which retires her self from the world to possess God enjoys truly both God and the world together The 37. and last Maxim That we must walk and persever in these our Spiritual Exercises with the two feet of Faith and Obedience To perform this we must 1. Leave all for one All others for God Our selves for God God himself wheÌ„ he withdraws himself By recollection By abnegation By resignation 2. Leave one for all 3. Leave one and all The practice of this Maxim consists in these five points 1. TO have an ardent desire affection The practice and intention to love see please and enjoy God 2. To curb our senses from all curiosity vanity apprehensions c. which may either defile our souls or disturb our minds or distract our spirits Either seduce us from the right way or affright us when wee are in it 3. Then we must take Jesus by the right hand by faith and confidence abandoning our selves totally to his mercy and resting in his providence with a filiall indifferency 4. We must take our spirituall guide by the left hand by punctuall obedience 5. In our way wee must have these or the like thoughts recollections and devotions Well I am going to heaven to my Father and Creator to my eternall rest and Center to see love and praise my God for evermore There only is true life true love true light and true liberty O Jesu how long O Jerusalem when Jesus is with me and for me him I will follow after him I will sigh and for him I will suffer come what can If I erre let my guide look to it for I am obedient If I stumble Jesus will not let me fall for I am faithfull If I cannot have the fruit of Penance I will keep that of Obedience What I cannot get by Recollection I will procure by Resignation What I want by Indifferency I will supply by Confidence though my Deserts fail my Desires shall prevail What hath an end is nothing Live Eternity Sometimes let us hearken to Jesus speaking O my child my servant my spouse What are all things to thee follow thou me Let all pass I am here All is one and One is all trouble not thy self with multiplicity Be silent and I will answer for thee be content I am thy sufficiency Be indifferent all is my will be confident all is wel I forgive thee all thou demandest I will give thee all thou desirest I will never desert thee nor withdraw my eys hand heart from thee therefore goe on quietly couragiously confidently Other times let us answer him meekly and faithfully O good Jesu save me for I am thine O sweet Saviour support me for I am weak O loving guide direct me for I am blind c. Thus boldly let us keep on our way 1. Letting passe all by insensibility 2. Out-passing all by fervour 3. Passing under all by humility 4. Passing over all by generosity and elevation of spirit Under this Maxim are solv'd many materiall doubts arising in our daily progress to perfection The first Doubt If we fear that God will forsake us by reason of our Ingratitude and disloyalty 'T Is true we have been are still and ever shall be ungratefull tepid and defective in our correspondencies to the divine love and light and God may in justice forsake us and yet be a good God but wee must be confident in his mercy that he will not do it for Jesus sake in fury and rigour though hee may sometimes withdraw the feelings of his presence to try our loyalty His holy will be done Let us never say God will forsake us but say We will never forsake God Let us first say Doth God love us who can doubt it And doe we love him If we will we doe Let us never say We shall never amend all is lost But let us often say We are sinners wicked wretched weak none more than we but it truly grieves us to be so we will endeavour to remedy all sure we are our God is Almighty all-all-mercy all-meekness him we will serve and in him we will trust in despite of nature and maugre the devill and for him all desolation and death it self is most welcome unto us The 2. Doubt If our sins trouble us in respect of Confession and Satisfaction LEt us cast off servil fear and be confident that what is past is pardoned by Gods mercy and our humble confession what is to come may be prevented by Gods grace and our dilligence and endeavours The 3. Doubt If wee can neither Pray with fervour nor Suffer with patience neither feel God present nor be content in his absence LEt us have recourse to these four things which will supply our defects and satisfy for our faults 1. Obedience 2. Resignation 3. Confidence 4. Good desires Therefore in all our fears crosses and troubles let us make use of these four points in this or The practice the like manner O my Lord God who deservest from me all love and honour and whom I desire to serve with all my soul behold I come out of confidence in thy mercy having no other end but only to please and praise thee wherefore I resign my self to thy will beseeching thee to turn all to thy glory and my good The 4. Doubt If we are doubtfull that God is angry with us that we want grace that we only seek our selves that we yield to all temptations c. LEt us build upon these three foundations Humility in acknowledging our own deformity Sincerity in confessing it and Confidence of pardon for it and so persevering constantly and couragiously in a course of Prayer according to direction and obedience we shall soon find ease rest and peace The 5. Doubt If our Consciences are unquiet and our souls fearfull by reason of our proness to sin c. LEt us Apply these following plasters and put these tents into our spiritual wounds as deep as we can every day for a time till the cure be perfected 1. Let us be assured that we are Plasters for a troubled conscience now at this present in the state of grace supposing we have already or are now resolv'd to do what is necessary for the expiation of our past sins and the avoiding all sins for the future 2. That having a will to please God and perform our duties our Prayers are profitable to us and acceptable to God and we may without presumption take courage and comfort though we are yet full of passions and â—mperfections 3. That the feeling of troubles fears temptations c. are neither sins in us nor signs of Gods anger against us 4. That we are not bound to reflect continually whether we have consented to sin or not nor to judge whether this or that consent he mortall or veniall Nor to meddle with the sins of our
seriously such Remedies as are proper for the preservation of this Jewell Amongst which the chiefest is Mortification of our rebellious flesh by Austerities hence S. Thomas cals Chastity from chastising S. Thomas of Aquin. It is better our Stomakes pain us than our Consciences and that we lose health of body than purity of soul and salvation of both This remedy of Mortification is absolutely necessary when carnall motions arise first in the body and thence redound into the Imagination but if from the Fancie they descend to the body we are to apply these following remedies 1. Let us avoid idlenesse 2. Let us Amor otiosorum negotium change our Employments if we are assaulted in company let us seek solitude if in solitude let us hasten into company c. 3. Silence temperance S. Ephrem and custody of senses are three powerfull preservers of Chastity 4. Let us make great account of little things and shake off the first Motions of this nature as wee would a burning coale from off our new garment 5. Ler us humbly but modestly and discreetly lay open their nature and manner to our spirituall guide 6. Let us carefully avoid all suspected company familiarity meetings c. though our intention be never so spirituall 7. Let us strive rather to slight scorn and neglect these temptations than formally to resist them 5. In vehement temptation 1. Make the sign of the cross upon your heart 2. Use some brief and burning aspirations as Lord deliver me I suffer violence O my God answer for me I am thine O Jesu body and soul help me 3. Defy the Devill with St. Antony Fy Isay 38. 14. S. Antony beast thou wert an Angell I who am now a beast will aym to be an Angell and get thy lost place be gone the lodging is already taken up Iesus is here who is my Lord and love I am preingag'd in a former and purer affection 6. Let us prepare before-hand certain places of refuge for our shelter and succour till the storm be pass'd over 1. The presence of God and his Angels saying How is it possible God sees me and shall I sin in his sight 2. Death and eternity The delight is momentary the punishment is eternâ—lâ— death is at my dore and shall I adventure 3. Christs sacred wounds let us there hide and secure our selves and say My God hangs on the Cross and shall I think of taking my pleasure 4. The love of God O Iesu my love and my life I will either love thee or love nothing at all Let me rather lose my life than thy love 5. Humility Thou art just O my Lord God thy will be done My Pride is cause of this villany which I feel c. And take We must be humble or we shall not be long chast this for an infallible truth wee must be humble or we shall not be long chast Let us be obedient to our Superiors or let us not look to have our flesh obedient to our spirits 6. Devotion to Saints excelling in this vertue especially to the chastest Virgin Mary 7. The last Remedy is to make use of these antidotes timely orderly and discreetly without which no rules documents or directions will ought avail us The 12. Doubt If we are in extraordinary Desolation and darkness WE must live by Faith in this case and know that a sensible choice of God and goodness is not now necessary but a Rationall adhering to him is sufficient Our fidelity to God is shew'd in the performance of our duties now as at other times without losing either our Confidence in him or seeking Comfort in our sufferings but aspiring if not sweetly yet sincerely in this or the like manner Lord I choose thee and accept of thy divine pleasure and providence in all things I reject whatsoever may possess that place and dominion in my soul which is due to thee alone Dispose of me and mine as shall be most for thy honour and glory Let me be either all thine or nothing at all The 13. Doubt If wee are tempted to despair of Gods mercy by reason of our frequent falls and relapses into sin THis grievous Malady springs from three causes or errors For they who are troubled in this point doe not truly weigh 1. What God is 2. What sin is 3. What contrition and sorrow of heart is 1. Almighty God is a boundless 1. What God is and bottomless Sea of mercy he is natural bounty it self he is ever ready to receive revive and relieve a penitent soul though she alone had committed a thousand times a day the sins of the whole world He considers not what she hath been but what she desires and resolves now to be and who so denys his power or Will to pardon sinners as often as there are moments in time goes about to deprive him of his honor and divinity it self for he could not be God if he were not good and faithfull in his promise O loving Lord God who art not only ready to receive a penitents petition but even wooest him to present it Who can truly consider what thou art and despair of thy mercy 2. Sin 2. What sin is a voluntaâ—y and deliberate Aversion from God and Conversion to creatures 3. Contrition is of that efficacy that it delivers from all sin 3. What Contrition giving confidence of pardon for the past and courage to avoid it for the future Let us apply this to our comfort The 14. Doubt If we are perplexed with great sadness THis Passion is a great hindrance to devotion and perfection it is the bait of the Devil the bane of our spirits the root mother and nursery of infinite miseries and mischiefs The chief causes of Sadness The causes of sadness 1. Nature are these 1. Nature when Melancholy over-sways the sanguin humour this can neither merit nor demerit but the Devil takes thereby occasion to fill our spirits with unquietness These have need aswell of corporal as spiritual Physick 2. A tenderness of heart and 2. Self-love passionate love of our selves we cannot brook the least contradâ—ction c. but we sigh and sob as if all the world were interessed in our misfortune and should bear a part in our dolefull ditty The Remedy were to bid such weep on for their penance or use some coporall austerity 3. An immortification of our Passions which when we seek in 3. Passions good earnest to root out assault us so strongly that it seems impossible to cure them and hence we grow sad The Remedy is to conquer this bad nature by counsell courage and diligence c. Let us pray heartily suffer willingly stoop humbly 'T is for heaven we fight and suffer 4. A secret root of pride vain 4. Secret Pride esteem and false opinion we have of our selves when things fall not out according to our liking expectation or importunate desire whereupon we grow sad and troubled
wherein we judge amiss and whereupon wee ground our particular fears for that is the easiest way to remove them 8. Let us weigh the vertue of the Physick The vertue of the Physick which must cure us which must cure our Disease to wit First the infinit goodness of God and Christs merits And what Soul can fear having so gracious a God and so great a Ransome 2. The Credit and Compassion of the Blessed Virgin and the Prayers and Patronage of Saints and Angels who being secure for themselves are solicitous for us 3. The testimony and sweet promises of holy Scriptures For how often hath God told us I am prone to pitty I am ready to receive sinners I will help them who doe their endeavours If therefore he denys not his mercy to them that seek it and they seek it who doe what lys in them let us bee confident he will not deny us his mercy He also frequently calls on us Turn to me and I will turn to you Now he cannot but say truth aad fulfill his promise and doth not that soul convert her self to God who doth her best to get his grace and be reconciled unto him Who then can choose but be of good Comfort if he be of good Will By this Doctrine and these prescribed Remedâ—es it appears that the only way to overcome Scruples is 1. To obey our Spirituall Director 2. To doe our best endeavour But here arise two difficulties in this easy lesson The first is If our Directoâ—â— The first difficulty knowledge be small his experience lesse and his conscience not very good how dare we trust our souls upon his Warrant Gerson answers Thou wiâ—e Gerson's answer Judger I say thou errest and aâ—â— deceived for thou hast not committed thy self and thy soul to a man because of his discretion and learning but to God himself and for his love thou obeyest man because he is by him ordained thy Prelat and Superior Therefore our obedience wil be oftentimes so much more pleasing to God and profitable to our souls by how much more infirm and unworthy he is whom we refuse not to obey for Gods sake The other difficulty is If wee The second difficulty cannot satisfy our selves that wee doe our best Endeavours nor know that we have performed our duty S. Thomas answers We must St. Thomas answer first remove that which hinders grace to wit Sin 2. We must convert our hearts from creatures to our Creator In a word we must detest Sin and choose God and follow his ordinary means appointed in his Church for our direction and this is the Summary of our duty The 22. Doubt If we fear we detest not Sin sufficiently because we feel not so great sorrow for the offence of God as we doe sometimes for a temporall losse LEt us assure our selves First We can never have so much sorrow for our Sins as Gods justice in rigour requires 2. God doth not exact it of us because it is not in our power 3. True sorrow consists not in feeling but in Reason and Freewill 4. It is better to have sorrow sometimes only in desire than feeling 5. It is not necessary this corporall or sensible grief be so great for spirituall as for temporall loss but it sufficeth to use humane and morall diligence with firm purpose of a voiding Sin 6. It ls dangerous to make such comparisons and reflexions for weak and fearfull Consciences as If such a thing should happen what should I doe Should I rather chuse death than such a Sin and the like I say there is no obligation to make such acts The 23. Doubt If we cannot ground our selves in a firm Hope of mercy for that we are so frail and inconstant We sin daily and amend not our lives We receive Gods blessings and repay ill for good Wee promise protest and vow fidelity and practise nothing lesse TEll me afflicted Souls Should you see Christ dye daily for your daily sins would you despair of mercy Even so efficacious is his former death If you fall hourely rise again couragiously and purpose to stand more constantly and fear nothing but draw Humility out of your Frailty saying Whereof am I proud now Where are my strong Resolutions Why doe I judge others Who is so feeble sickle frail as I am O Lord this is the Worm that is so proud Then cast â—ll into Christs sacred wounds and leaving all there go on with as much quiet and Confidence as if you had not sinned The 24. Doubt If we go not on w th alacrity because we know not that our Sins are forgiven that our Confessions are good and that we are in state of Grace WE must take notice that in seeking these assurances we may oftentimes directly lose them 1. In seeking them too eagerly and unquietly 2. In being self-lovers and unwilling to be troubled 3. In being ignorant of what we are bound to know for it seems we conceive those works nothing worth which are performed without gust content satisfaction to our selves and quiet The way then is briefly this 1. To seek true peace 2. In God 3. From his mercy not our own industry 4. To be resigned to want peace if he please 5. To omit nothing we would or should do by reason of the trouble we feel The 25. Doubt Though we cannot in this life assure our selves infallibly to be in good estate yet if we could comfort our selves with most probable tokens of grace whereby we might feel the pulses of our hearts and somewhat ease our anguish SAint Thomas and S. Bernard assigne 4. Signs of a good conscience out of S. Tho. and Bernard these four signes of a good conscience 1. To feel a ready Willingness in our hearts to hear Gods word and to learn the means to love and serve him 2. To feel a Forwardness to do good Works 3. To feel a hearty Sorrow for the offence of God 4. To feel a firm Purpose to avoid all Sin Gerson adds a fifth Who so can A â— out of Gerson To pronounce these three verities pronounce heartily and sincerely these three Verities though he had committed all sins and should be prevented with sodain death let him secure himself he is in state of Grace The first Verity O Lord If in Oh! that we would often recite these three truths especially when we feel our consciences burthened What infinite profit and comfort would redound to our souls this or that I have sinned against thy goodness it truly displeases and grieves me and I am ready to do penance for it because I have offended thee who art worthy of all honor and have transgressed thy Law and Will which is most holy just and reasonable The second Verity O Lord I have a good purpose and desire by thy grace to take heed I fall not into sin again and to avoid to my power the occasions thereof and to mortify my passions and bad
them all as a sink of sin and filthiness I will be desirous to be esteemed and used as dross among metalls chaff among grain a Wolf among Sheep and as Satan amongst the children of God I acknowledge my self unworthy of all grace and comfort from God or man and worthy of all pain punishment crosses contradiction confusion desolation death damnation I will be henceforth ashamed to complain of any aggrievances and be content to suffer whatsoever the world the devil and hell it self can inflict upon me 2. And to strengthen this my resolution I will rationally consider before thee ô my Lord what I really am what I was and what will become of me both touching my body my soul and my whole being Ay me I have a body all clay a soul all sin a life all frailty and a substance all nothing And this is all I have to vaunt of in thy presence ô my Lord and my maker My material part is but slime of the earth the very worst part of the unworthyest element Ah poor man and canst thou look so big who cam'st from so base an extraction be ashamed to lift up thy head vile mud and dirt since thy pedigree is so well known and the ingredients of thy being are so mean and contemptible And when I consider what this my body was in the womb how it was conceived in concupiscence nourished with filthiness and brought up in darkness I am ashamed to own my own beginning which is so horrid and lothesome and who then can justly boast of state strength beauty or nobility since the ground-work of all is but a little dung and corruption Ah poor worm what a dismal prison wert thou detained in for nine months space of thy time what nasty and poysonous food was thy diet how wretched was thy birth how weak and wofull thy infancy and what art thou in thy best and most flourishing condition in the world but a clog and cage to thy inthrall'd soul a painted sack or pargetted sepulcher full of filth froth and ordure O my Lord give me grace to frame an impartial judgement of what I am and then how soon shall I check all risings of pride and presumption 3. I came into this world ô my Lord with groanes and tears I live in it with griefs and cares I shall go out of it with pangs and fears and lastly I must become a horror to the eyes of my dearest friends a prey of veâ—min and a companion of rottenness Ah! how canst thou be proud of thy perfections poor clay and ashâ—s why shouldest thou look to be so highly priz'd so daintily pampered thou stinking puddle Dust thou art to dust thou must return Hast thou not alwayes before thy eyes these ashes for thy glass and death for thy mistress why then dost thou suffer so many sparkles of vanity to arise from this thy caitiff condition And thou my poor soul the spiritual part of my composition O what shall I say of thee to thy great Lord and maker What thou â—â—st hitherto been I wel know wretched wicked sinful What thou now art I know not being uncertain of Gods grace and love What thou shalt be hereafter I am altogether ignorant because doubtfull of thy correspondency with grace and fearful of thy perseverance in goodness Ah sad condition I came ô my Lord into this world in originall sin I am bred up in actual sin and if death and deadly sin meet together I shall feel the smart of them both eternally O how much need have I then of thy grace ô merciful Lord God to avoid sin since I cannot eschew death O let me rather admit a deadly wound than commit a deadly sin 4. What art thou then ô my whole man consisting of body and soul What wert thou ô N. from all eternity before thy conception in the womb and birth into the world Nothing Ah poor nothing what is less than nothing where dwels this nothing who can describe a nothing which more differs from the least atome in the Sun than Gods infinit greatness from the least of his creatures O proud nothing What hast thou that thou hast not received Nothing Why then art thou puffed up with it as if thou hadst not received it I acknowledge my whole being to be from thy only bounty O my great good and glorious maker and since I possess nothing but what I have from thee since I shall also necessarily fade away into my first nothing if thou withdraw from me thy conserving hand but a moment I will no longer glory in that which is none of mine but I will here lay the foundation of my spiritual edifice upon this sure and solid ground of thy All and my own Nothing I will endeavour to frame a true conceit of my own misery frailty insufficiency and nothing that so I may fully speedily and solidly come to this desired self-knowledge and humility I will run over my lesson repeat my questions learn my answers and strive to grow skilful in this necessary and sacred science What have I received that I have not abused Nothing Body soul will judgement memory understanding affection senses meat drink company habit books prayer Sacraments all creatures Can I then be proud of Sin Filthiness rottenness labour grief infirmity blindness obstinacy corruption death and damnation which are worse than nothing Shall I boast of thy gifts O my God which are not mine or of my own abuses and ingratitudes The one is to rob thee of thy honor the other is to be honoured for thy dishonour 5. What creature ever sinned so grievously as I have done and yet sorrowed so little and suffered less Who ever forsook so great and good a God for so little and vain a toy as I have done What sinful soul is there now in hell that would not have been a glorious Saint in heaven if it had the helps favours feelings and visits which I have both had and abused Who ever received so many mercies so sweet comforts and so great graces from thee O bountifull Lord God and made so little and bad use of them as I have done If I deny all this my conscience witnesseth against me If I confess it oh why am I not more humble Finally If such great troubles temptations and tribulations had hapened to me as have done to others I should by consenting have ere now burned in hell fire but thou O meek and merciful Creator hast spared me because thou knowest my weakness and sent me small crosses because I cannot bear greater c. Wherefore Not unto me O Lord but to thee be all honour for time and eternity O that I could know thee and know my self O that I could truly see my own nothing and totall dependancy on thee my misery and malice and thy perfection and total goodness Ay me weak and wretched N What are my forces that I should rely on them I have nothing O my Lord but what is