sin whatever it be you cannot be so infinite in sinning as he is infinite in pardoning if you repent yea sins upon repentance are so remitted as if they had never been committed I will put away thy transgressions as a cloud and thy sins as a mist Isa. 44.22 And what by corruption hath been done by repentance is undone As the former examples witness Come and let us Reason together saith the Lord though your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow Isa. 1.18 Yea whiter than snow For the Prophet David laying open his blood guiltiness and his original impurity useth these words Purge me with Hysop and I shall be clean wash me and I shall be whiter than snow Psal. 51.7 And in reason did Christ come to call sinners to repentance and shall he not shew mercy to the penitent Or who would not cast his burden upon him that desires to give ease As I live saith the Lord I would not the death of a sinner Ezek. 18.32 and 33.11 Onely apply not this salve before the ulcer be searched to the bottome Lay not hold upon mercy until thou be'st throughly humbled The onely way to become good is first to believe that you are evil and by accusing our selves we prevent Satan by judging our selves we prevent God Are we as sick of sorrow as we are of sin Then may we hopefully go to the Physitian of our Souls who came into the World onely to cure the sick and to give light to them onely who sit in darkness and in the shadow of Death God does not pour the Oyl of Grace but into a broken and contrite Heart Wouldest thou get out of the miserable estate of Nature into the blessed estate of Grace and of Satans bond-slave become the Child of God and a Member of Christ Wouldest thou truly know thine own Heart and be very sensible how evil and wicked it is that so thou mayest have a more humble conceit of thy self Lay to heart these three particulars 1. The corruption of our nature by reason of original sin 2. Our manifold breach of Gods Righteous Law by actual sin 3. The guilt and punishment due to us for them both This being done thou wilt see and finde thy necessity of a Redeemer And it is Thirst onely that makes us relish our Drink Hunger our meat The full Stomack of a Pharisee surcharged with the superfluitics of his own Merits will loath the Honey-comb of Christs Righteousness This was it which made the Young Prodigal to relish even servants fare though before wanton when full fed at home No more relish feels the Pharisaical heart in Christs blood than in a chip But O how acceptable is the Fountain of living Waters to the chased Heart panting and braying The blood of Christ to the weary and tired soul to the thirsty Conscience scorched with the sense of Gods wrath He that presents him with it how welcome is he even as a special choice man one of a thousand And the deeper the sense of Misery is the sweeter the sense of Mercy is Sect. 21. Then if you would be satisfied for time to come whether your Repentance and Conversion be true and sound these particulars will infallibly inform you If you shall persevere when this trouble for sin is over in doing that which now you purpose it is an infallible signe your Repentance is found otherwise not If thou doest call to minde the Vow which thou madest in Baptism and doest thy endeavour to perform that which then thou didst promise If thou doest square thy life according to the Rule of Gods Word and not after the Rudiments of the World If thou art willing to forsake all sin without reserving one for otherwise that one sin may prove the bane of all thy Graces even as Gideon had seventy sons and but one Bastard and yet that Bastard destroyed all the rest that were legitimate Judg. 9.5 Sin is like the Ivy in the Wall cut off bough branch body stump yet some Sprigs or other will sprout out again Till the Root be pluckt up or the Wall be pulled down and ruined it will never utterly die Regeneration or New-birth is a creation of new qualities in the soul as being by nature onely evil disposed Gods children are known by this mark They walk not after the Flesh but after the Spirit Rom. 8.1 If Christ have called you to his service your life will appear more spiritual and excellent than others As for your fails it is a sign that sin hath not gained your consent but committed a Rape upon your Soul when you cry out to God If the ravished Virgin under the Law cryed out she was pronounced guiltless A sheep may fall into the mire but a swine delights to wallow in the mire Great difference between a woman that is forced though she cries out and strives and an alluring Adultress Again the thoughts of the godly are godly of the wicked worldly and by these good and evil men are best and truliest differenced one from another Would we know our own hearts and whether they be changed by a new birth Examine we our thoughts words actions passions especially our thoughts will inform us for these cannot be subject to hypocrisie as words and deeds are Sect. 22. Then by way of Caution know That a Childe may as soon create it self as a man in the state of nature regenerate himself We cannot act in the least unless God bestows upon us daily privative grace to defend us from evil and daily positive grace enabling us to do good And those that are of Christs teaching know both from the Word and by Experience that of themselves they are not onely weak but even dead to what is good moving no more than they are moved that their best works are faulty all their sins deadly all their Natures corrupted originally You hath he quickned that were dead in trespasses and sins Eph. 2.1 Yea we are altogether so dead in sin that we cannot stir the least joynt no not so much as feel our own deadness nor desire life except God be pleased to raise and restore our souls from the death of sin and grave of long custom to the life of grace Apt we are to all evil but reprobate and indisposed to all Grace and Goodness yea to all the means thereof My Powers are all corrupt corrupt my will Marble to good but Wax to what is ill Insomuch that we are not sufficient of our selves to think much less to speak least of all to do that which is good 2 Cor. 3.5 John 15.4 5. If we have power to chuse or refuse the object to do these well we have no power We have ability we have will enough to undo our selves scope enough Hell-ward but neither motion nor will to do good that must be put into us by him that gives both power and will and power to will Finally Each sanctified heart feels this but no words are able
Eternity It faring with me as it did with those Jews Acts 2. when Peter by his searching Sermon had convinced them that Christ whom they had by wicked hands crucified and slain was the onely Son of God and Lord of glory verse 36 37. And having had the happiness to injoy the benefit of his sage advice as I stood in need thereof God having given him the tongue of the learned to administer a word in season to them that are weary Isa. 50.4 I bless God his word and spirit hath wrought in me such a change and strange alteration that it hath opened mine eyes that were blind before inclined my will to obedience which before was rebellious softned my heart sanctified and quite changed my affections so that I now love that good which before I hated and hate that evil which before I loved and am delighted with those holy exercises which heretofore did most displease me and am displeased with those vain pleasures and filthy sins which in times past did most delight me Which is such a mercy that no tongue is able to express for till that hour I went on in the broad way and worlds road to destruction without any mistrust whereas now God hath been pleased to take me into his kingdom of grace here will never leave me until he hath brought me to his kingdom of glory hereafter Loose Libertine What you speak makes me wonder for I ever held you the compleatest man of my acquaintance just in all your dealings temperate and civil in your deportment yea I have never seen you exceed in the least nor heard you swear an oath except faith and truth and that very rarely Besides you have been a good Protestant and gon to Church all your days Convert What you speak none that know me can contradict nor could they ever accuse me of any scandalous crime or unjust act Yea I had the same thoughts of my self and should any one have told me formerly that I was such a great sinner such a devil incarnate as I was I should have replied as Hazael did to the Prophet telling him of the abominable wickedness he would ere long commit What am I a dog c. 2 Kings 8.12 13. And no wonder for as every man in his natural condition is stark blind to spirituall objects 1 Cor. 2.14 so the heart of man is deceitful above all things even so deceitful that none but God alone can know it as the Prophet shews Jer. 17.10 But because this is a truth that transcends your belief and because it may be of singular use to you also to know the same I will give you a short character of my former condition the which done I doubt not but you will assent unto what I have hitherto said or shall further relate Sect. 11. First Touching my knowledge I mean saving knowledg without which the soul cannot be good as wise Solomon witnesseth Prov. 19.2 it was such though I thought my self wiser than to make scruple of or perplex my self about matters of Religion as do the religious even as the King of Tyrus thought himself wiser than Daniel Ezek. 28.3 that spiritual things were mostly represented to my understanding false and clean contrary to what they are indeed Like corporal things in a looking glass wherein those that are on the right hand seem to be on the left and those that are on the left hand seem to be on the right As it fared with St. Paul while he was in his natural condition Acts 26.9 which made me think and call evil good and good evil bitter sweet and sweet bitter to justifie the wicked and condemn the just as the Prophet complains Isa. 5.20 23. As for instance I most sottishly thought that I both loved and served God as I ought yea I should have taken it in foul scorn if any one had questioned the same when indeed I was a traytor to God and took up arms against all that did worship him in spirit and in truth I was so far from loving and serving him that I hated those that did it and that for their so doing I could also hear him blasphemed reproached and dishonoured without being once stirred or moved at it I loved him dearly but I could never afford to speak a word for him And likewise his Children entirely but instead of justifying them or speaking in their defence when I heard them scoft scorned and abused by wicked and ungodly men all my delight was to jear at slight and slander them wherever I came I more feared the Magistrate than I feared God and more regarded the blasts of mens breath then the fire of Gods wrath I chose rather to disobey God than to displease great ones and feared more the worlds scorns than his anger And the like of Christ that died for me a strong argument that I loved Christ when I hated all that resembled him in holiness Yea I so hated holiness that I most bitterly hated men for being holy insomuch that my blood would rise at the sight of a good man as some stomacks will rise at the sight of sweet-meats I was a Christian in name but I could scoff at a Christian indeed I could honour the dead Saints in a formal profession while I worried the living Saints in a cruel persecution I condemned all for Roundheads that had more religion than a Heathen or knowledg of Heavenly things than a child in the womb hath of the things of this life or Conscience than an Atheist or care of his soul than a Beast I had alwaies the basest thoughts of the best men making ill constructions of whatsoever they did or spake as the Scribes and Pharisees dealt by our Saviour Sect. 12. As O what a poor slave did I hold the man of a tender conscience to be Yea how did I applaud my self for being zealless and fearless together with my great discretion and moderation when I saw this man vexed for his zeal that other hated for his knowledg a third persecuted for the profession of his Faith c. For being like Cain Ishmael Eliah Michel Pharaoh and Festus I thought their Religion Puritanism their conscience of sin hypocrisie their profession dissimulation their prudence policy their faith and confidence presumption their zeal of Gods glory to be pride and malice their obedience to Gods laws rebellion to Princes their execution of justice cruelty c. If they were any thing devout or forward to admonish others that so they might pluck them out of the fire I conceived them to be beside themselves as our Saviour was thought to be by his Kinsfolk and St. Paul by Festus Mark 3.21 John 10.20 Acts 26.24 1 Cor. 1.18 My religion was to oppose the power of religion and my knowledge of the truth to know how to argue against the truth I never affected Christs Ambassadours that preached the glad tidings of salvation but had a spleen against them yea I hated a Minister for being
come to deliver his people Whence commonly it comes to pass that those think best of themselves that have least cause yea the true Christian is as fearful to entertain a good opinion of himself as the false is unwilling to be driven from it They that have store of grace mourn for the want of it and they that indeed want it chant their abundance None so apt to doubt their Adoption as they that may be assured of it nor none more usually fear then they that have the greatest cause to hope We feel corruption not by corruption but by Grace and therefore the more we feel our inward corruption the more Grace we have Contraries the nearer they are one to another the sharper is the conflict betwixt them Now of all enemies the Spirit and the Flesh are nearest one to another being both in the Soul of a regenerate man and in all faculties of the soul and in every action that springeth from those faculties The more Grace the more Spiritual life and the more Spiritual life the more antipathy to the contrary whence none are so sensible of corruption as those that have the most Living Souls Sect. 19. Now for Remedy of the contrary there cannot be a better lesson for carnal men to learn than this All the promises of God are conditional to take place if we repent as all the threatnings of God are conditional to take place if we repent not But wicked men as they believe without repenting their Faith being meer presumption so they repent without believing their repentance being indeed Desperation and this observe we are cast down in the disappointment of our hopes in the same measure as we were too much lifted up in expectation of good from them Whence these peremptory presumers if ever they repent it is commonly as Francis Spira an Advocate of Padua did and never did any man plead so well for himself as he did against himself One Star is much bigger than the Earth yet it seems many degrees less It is the nature of fear to make dangers greater helps less than they are Christ hath promised peace and rest unto their souls that labour and are heavy laden and to those that walk according to rule Mat. 11.29 Gal. 6.16 even peace celestial in the state of grace and peace eternal in the state of glory Such therefore as never were distressed in conscience or live loosly never had true peace Peace is the Daughter of Righteousness Rom. 5.1 Being justified by faith we have peace with God But he who makes a Bridge of his own shadow will be sure to fall into the Water Those blocks that never in their life were moved with Gods threatnings never in any streight of conscience never groaned under the burden of Gods anger they have not so much as entred into the porch of this house or lift a foot over the threshold of this school of repentance Oh! that we could but so much fear the eternal pains as we do the temporary and be but so careful to save our souls from torment as our bodies In the mean time the case of these men is so much the worse by how much their fear is the less It faring with the soul as with the body Those diseases which do take away all sense of pain are of all others most desperate As the dead palsie the falling sickness the sleepy lethargy c. And the patient is most dangerously sick when he hath no feeling thereof In like manner whilest they suppose themselves to be free from judgment they are already smitten with the heaviest of Gods judgments a heart that cannot repent Rom. 2.5 In a Lethargy it is needful the Patient should be cast into a burning Feaver because the senses are benummed and this will waken them and dry up the besotting humours So in our dead security before our conversion God is fain to let the Law Sin Conscience and Satan loose upon us and to kindle the very fire of Hell in our souls that so we might be roused out of our security but thousands of these blocks both live and depart with as great hopes as men go to a Lottery even dreaming of Heaven until they awake in Hell For they too often die without any remorse of conscience like blocks or as an Ox dies in a ditch Yea thousands that live like Laban die like Nabal which is but the same word inverted whilest others the dear children of God die in distress of Conscience For it is not every good mans hap to die like Antonius Pius whose death was after the fashion and semblance of a kindly and pleasant sleep However St. Austins rule will be sure to hold He cannot die ill that hath lived well and for the most part He that lives conscionably dies comfortably and departeth rich And so you see how it fares with the wickedest and worst of men Wherefore if you are truly sensible of your wretchedness it is a good sign that you are in some forwardness to be recovered and really to become so good as formerly you but dreamed or imagined your self to be And indeed the very first step to grace is to feel the want of grace and the next way to receive mercy is to see your self miserable Therefore our constant and most diligent search should be to find out the naughtiness of our own hearts and to get strength from God against our prevailing corruptions Sect. 20. Loose Libertine But is there any hope for one so wicked as I who have turned the grace of God into wantonness applying Christs passion as a warrant for my licentiousness not as a remedy and taking his death as a license to sin his Cross as a Letters patent to do mischief As if a man should head his drum of rebellion with his pardon For I have most spightfully and malitiously taken up Arms against my Maker and fought against my Redeemer all my dayes Convert Do but unfeignedly repent you of your sins and forsake your former evill wayes and lay hold upon Christ by a true and lively faith my soul for yours God is very ready to forgive them be they never so many and innumerable for multitude never so hainous for quality and magnitude Yea I can shew you your Pardon from the great King of Heaven for all that is past the which you may read at large Isa 55.7 Ezek. 18.21 to 29. and 33.11 Joel 2.12 13 14. Yea read 1 Cor. 6.10 11. together with the story of Manasses Mary Magdalen the Thief and the Prodigal Son and you shall see presidents thereof Yea the very murderers of the Son of God upon their serious and unfeigned repentance and stedfast believing in him received pardon and salvation And indeed despair is a sin which never knew Jesus True every sin deserves damnation but no sin shall condemn but the lying and continuing in it True repentance is ever blest with forgiveness And know this that Gods mercy is greater than thy
sufficiently to express what impotent wretches we are when we are not sustained So that we have no merit but the mercy of God to save us nothing but the blood of Christ and his mediation to cleanse and Redeem us nothing but his obedience to inrich us As for our good works we are altogether beholding to God for them not God to us nor we to our selves because they are only his works in us Whatsoever thou art thou owest to him that made thee whatever thou hast thou owest to him that Redeemed thee Therefore if we do any thing amiss let us accuse our selves if any thing well let us give all the praise to God And indeed this is the test of a true or false Religion that which teacheth us to exalt God most and most to depress our selves is the true that which doth most prank up our selves and detract from God is the false as Bonaventure well notes Sect. 23. Now to wind up with a Word of Exhortation If thou beest convinced and resolvest upon a new course let thy resolution be peremptory and constant and take heed you harden not again as Pharaoh the Philistines the Young man in the Gospel Pilate and Judas did resemble not the Iron which is no longer soft than it is in the Fire for that good saith Gregory will do us no good which is not made good by perseverance If with these premonitions the Spirit hath vouchsafed to stir up in thine heart any good motions and holy purposes to obey God in letting thy sins go Quench not grieve not the spirit 1 Thes. 5.19 Return not with the Dog to thy vomit least thy latter end prove seven-fold worse than thy beginning Mat. 12.43 45. Oh it is a fearful thing to receive tho grace of God in vain and a desperate thing being warned of a Rock wilfully to cast our selves upon it Neither let Satan perswade you to defer your repentance no not an hour lest your Resolution proves as a false conception which never comes to bearing Besides death may be sudden even the least of a thousand things can kill you and give you no leisure to be sick Thirdly If thou wilt be safe from evil works avoid the occasions have no fellowship with the workers of iniquity neither fear their scoffes for this be sure of If your person and wayes please God the world will be displeased with both If God be your friend men will be your enemies if they exercise their malice it is where he shews mercy But take heed of losing Gods favour to keep theirs Beda tells of a Great man that was admonished by his friends in his sickness to repent who answered He would not yet for that if he should recover his friends and companions would laugh at him but growing sicker and sicker they again prest him but then his answer was That it was now too late for I am judged and condemned already A man cannot be a Nathanael in whose heart there is no guile but the World counts him a fool But Christ sayes Verily except ye be converted and become as little Children ye shall not enter into the Kingdome of Heaven Matth. 18.3 Again Satan and your deceitful heart will suggest unto you that a Religious life is a dampish and melancholy life but holy David will tell you That light is sown to the Righteous and joy to the upright Psal. 97.11 Isa. 65.14 And experience tells us that Earthly and Bodily joyes are but the body or rather the dregs of that joy which Gods people feel and are ravished with As Oh the calm and quietness of a good Conscience the assurance of the pardon of sin and joy in the Holy Ghost the honesty of a virtuous and holy life how sweet they are Yea even Plato an Heathen could say That if Wisdome and Virtue could but represent it self to the Eyes it would set the heart on fire with the love of it And the like of a sinners sadness as hear what Seneca sayes If there were no God to punish him no Devil to torment him no Hell to burn him no man to see him yet would he not sin for the ugliness and filthiness of sin and the guilt and sadness of his Conscience But Experience is the best informer wherefore take the counsel of holy David Psalm 34.8 O taste and see that the Lord is good blessed is the man that trusteth in him To which accordeth that of holy Bernard Good art thou O Lord to the soul that seeks thee what art thou then to the soul that findes thee As I may appeal to any mans Conscience that hath been softned with the Unction of Grace and truly tasted of the powers of the World to come to him that hath the love of God shed abroad in his heart by the Holy Ghost whether his whole life be not a perpetual Hallelujah in comparison of his natural condition Whence they are able to slight all such objections as he did You tell me that scrupling of small matters is but stumbling at straws that they be but trifles when I know your tongue can tell nothing but truth I will believe you Fifthly Beg of God that he will give you a new heart and when the heart is changed all the members will follow after it as the rest of the creatures after the Sun when it ariseth But without a work upon the heart wrought by the spirit of God it will follow its own inclination to that which it affecteth whatsoever the judgment shall say to the contrary That must be first reformed which was first deformed It is idle and to no purpose to purge the chaanel when the fountain is corrupt Whence the Apostle orderly bids us first Be renewed in the Spirit of our mindes and then Let him that stole steal no more Ephes. 4.23 24. Yea it is Gods own counsel to the men of Jerusalem Jer. 4. Wash thy heart from wickedness that thou mayest be saved verse 14. It is most ridiculous to apply Remedies to the outward parts when the distemper lies in the stomack To what purpose is it to crop off the top of weeds or top off the boughes of the Tree when the Root and Stalk remain in the Earth As cut off the sprig of a Tree it growes still a Bough an Arm still it growes lop off the top yea saw it in the midst yet it will grow again stock it up by the roots then and not till then it will grow no more Whence it is that God saith Give me thine heart Prov. 23.26 Great Cities once expunged the dorps and villages will soon come in of themselves the heart is the treasury and storehouse of wickedness Mat. 12.34 such as the heart is such are the actions of the body which proceed from it Mat. 12.35 Therefore as Christ saith Make clean within and all will be clean otherwise not Mat. 23.26 therefore Davids prayer is Create in me a new heart O Lord and renew a right spirit within me Ps. 51.10 Do thou the like importune him for grace that you may firmly resolve speedily begin and continually persevere in doing and suffering his holy will desire him to inform and reform you so that you may neither mis-believe nor mis-live to change and purifie your nature subdue your reason rectifie your judgment reform and strengthen your will renew your affections and beat down in you whatsoever stands in opposition to the Scepter of Jesus Christ. Sixthly and lastly If you receive any power against your former corruptions forget not to be thankeful yea study all possible thankfulness for that you and I are not at this present frying in Hell flames never to be freed that we have the offer of Grace here and Glory hereafter it is his unspeakable goodness And there is nothing more pleasing to God nor profitatable to us both for the procuring of the good we want or continuing the good we have than thankfulness He will sow there and there onely plenty of his blessings where he is sure to reap plenty of thanks and service But who will sow those barren sands where they are sure not onely to be without all hope of a good harvest but are sure to lose both their seed and labour Consider what hath been said and the Lord give you understanding in all things And so much for the Second Part. An Appendix follows wherein you may have instances of all sorts how sin besots Men. FINIS London Printed by J. Hayes and are to be sold by Mrs. Crips in Popes-head-Alley with nine and Thirty other Pieces composed by the same Authour 1663.