Sin but even from Passions and occasions thereof and whatever may induce us to evil In a word we detest Sin above all things detestable in our selves and others also interiourly bewailing the Unhappiness of our mortal Condition in which we so often offend God and are in danger to lose him I knew a virtuous Soul whom God had made so sensible of the horrour of Sin because injurious to God that she perfectly detested it with ardent Desires never more to commit any She did with continual Prayers and Tears implore the Divine Majesty to preserve her from it offering her self to suffer any thing yea the pains of Purgatory or Hell it felf if it was necessary rather than commit a Mortal Sin to which no evil can be compared She understood that Sin is a Rebellion against God and injurious to him but that all the Pains we can endure either in Time or Eternity are but evil to the Creature and all Creatures being as nothing in comparison of God all the evil of Punishment they are capable to endure has less Malignity in it than one only Sin And seeing the Divine Justice has not ordained the pains of Purgatory or Hell but for the Chastisement of Sin committed she desired they might work in her this good effect as to serve her for a Remedy against Sin so as never to commit it saying to God Lord you justly punish Sinners because they have offended your infinite Majesty punish me in mercy that I may not offend you In others the pain is the Punishment of Sin preceding and the greater is the Sin the greater is the Punishment but dear God of your great Goodness grant me this singular Favour that the pain in me may prevent Sin so that the Chastisements which I should have deserved for my Offences if I had committed them I may suffer before hand not because I have committed them but to preserve me from offending your sacred Majesty By this means O my God your Interests are secured you shall receive neither Offence nor Injury the Creature only shall suffer something But what is all the Interest of the Creature in comparison of yours If the pains be too few which such Sin would have merited inflict on me what Punishments You please provided you preserve me from falling into Sin so injurious to You. This so noble and generous a Resolution could not proceed but from the pure Love of God and from the perfect hatred of Sin and in both respects must needs be in a high degree well pleasing to God and we may very well believe that God bestowed on such a Soul very wonderful Graces CHAP. II. To keep an even pace with Grace neither out-running it nor following too slowly IT is our Unhappiness that either we do not act answerably to the full power of what Grace we have received by the repugnance of our Sensuality or by our natural Levity and Inconstancy of Mind or on the contrary when the Heart is heated with the Fervour of Devotion we will force Grace beyond her strength by undertaking extraordinary Exercises and Austerities prejudicial to us 'T is our duty to shun both these Extremities to correspond faithfully to what the Grace we have can do and also to be humbled in consideration of that little we have received offering up to God those motions of natural Love which carries us to things extraordinary above our Abilities Not but that we ought daily to desire the Increase of Grace and Divine Love in us but it must be with Humility and Resignation without Interiour Disquiet well knowing that we can never advance in Grace by the strength of nature What hinders us from fully corresponding to the motions of Grace are some secret attaches to Creatures our affections being not throughly purifyed For when Grace acts in a Soul wholly dis-ingaged from the world she gives up her self fully to God's Conduct and moves towards him as her Center with more violence than a stone held in the Air being let go would descend to the Earth I say with more violence for God being a Center of Infinite Goodness has more powerful attractions than the finite Center of the Earth The nearer any thing approaches to its Center the faster it moves so the Soul hastens to the greatest Union with God by how much the more she approaches to him with inflamed Affections But we must have a care not to advance too speedily to the elevated states of Perfection whether as yet the Grace we have does not invite us Oftentimes we would rather regulate our selves by the Graces we see in others than our own for observing them do wonderfully well in perfecting themselves and profiting others we will needs follow their example and this may sooner proceed from a natural desire of our own excellence and esteem then from a motion of Grace and to please God And so we put our selves out of the way going rather back than advancing we will be following their wayes and not walk in that where Grace has put us It concerns us therefore every one to observe and follow faithfully the Attracts of that Gracethey have received for what have we to do with the Graces of others which make a glorious show and to which we have not a Call from God The Beauty of Christianity is not in the Outside for the greatest Saints seem sometimes more despicable than others but interiour Graces Omnis Gloria Filiae Regis ab Intus which working wonderfully in them makes them in love with Contempt and Poverty with Pains and Sufferings whereby they become like to Jesus poor despised suffering and forsaken Behold herein the Essence Life and Heart of Christianity For 't is in his Suffering Saints that God works the most admirable effects of Grace and he takes the greatest delights in them because they are so many Copies of his Well-beloved Son in small Characters But here lyes the mystery that a Soul suffer her self to be in the hand of Grace as soft Wax plyable to her Impressions and faithful to follow her Directions To be faithful I say to be faithful to the Motions of Grace is all in all in a Spiritual Life CHAP. III. That a Soul must wholly give her self up to God IT highly concerns us to keep close to the Conduct of God's holy Spirit and not confide in our own abilities which may quite destroy the work of God in us What can a poor creature do if the Soveraign Creatour work not his will in us All the Solicitudes and Contrivances on our part are not so prevalent as to abandon our selves wholly to God by whose Grace we are what we are and without which we are nothing but Frailty and Infirmity It is best with us when we have in our Prospect and Affection God alone and his good Pleasure being content with whatever he pleases to give either for Soul or Body In this state a Soul goes on very well in all affairs for an indifferency to
which the World would take from you against my will O how miserable am I if I set my affections on any thing beside you knowing that this is my duty and my Happiness O my God from this moment I for ever forbid any Creature to possess my heart Hark hither my will I now give thee this express command that thou open not the door of my heart but to my Well-beloved whose infinite love has prevented us from all eternity The sixth Day The Justice of God TO take a prospect of the Divine Justice is not less pleasing to good men nor less admirable Thou wilt see it O my Soul governing the whole universe The throne of this Divine Justice is establish'd in Heaven the arrests are pronounc'd on earth and the execution thereof in the regions of darkness 'T is Divine Justice that sets a Crown upon heir heads who have fought the battles of the Lord of Hosts with courage and fidelity And for these momentary and light afflictions rewards them with an eternal weight of Glory O Justice crowning and glorifying us how lovely art thou 'T is Divine Justice that thunders Comminations against sinners on earth to bring them to repentance by the terrours of everlasting sufferings and sometimes chastises them with temporal afflictions that they may not be tormented to all eternity O amiable Justice that treats so here poor sinners as to make them Penitents and not miserable But O how terrible is the Divine Justice which in hatred of sin does punish eternally those who will not be brought to any amendment O how does a severe but just Sentence condemn such to everlasting flames always devouring and never consuming them which the breath of Gods anger has kindled and shall never be extinguished O my God you did not spare your own Son taking our sins upon him to show us the better how to detest sin O who can but tremble considering your severity O who dare provoke the Almighty to anger Quis novit potestatem irae tuae O my God I do consider this and flie for refuge to your Mercy The seventh Day The Mercy of God O Divine Mercy how dost thou ravish my heart 'T is to thee my Soul will sing eternally Miserecordias Domini in aeternum cantabo In my retired thoughts I look upon this World as a great Hospital fill'd with some sick some maimed some lame some blind some languishing some incurable and Divine Mercy goes a visiting of them These she encourages those she comforts binds up the wounds of others and offers remedies proper to each misery not absolutely abandoning any one though never in so desperate a condition O amiable Mercy of our God into what corner of the World dost not thou go to exercise thy goodness Are there any miserable Sons of Adam who have not tasted the sweets of comforts Who ever made his addresses to thee that hath not found most tender compassions in thy bosom O my Soul what must we pant after but the more then material embraces of this adorable Mercy In what canst thou put thy hope and confidence except in the source of this inexhaustible goodness The whole World is full of the Mercy of God and wilt thou O my Soul afflict thy self and be discourag'd with temporal miseries and momentary sufferings It is the work of Mercy thus to punish thee Do not the Sufferings of this life work for us a far more eternal weight of Glory Art thou O my Soul terrified with the remembrance of thy sins Consider God is a God of infinite Mercy and desires not the death of a sinner He who refuses to throw himself into the arms of Gods Mercy is ignorant or else layes not to heart that Mercy attends the greatest sinners to the last moment of Life for their Conversion Miserecordia tua subsequetur me omnibus diebus vitae meae O my God as your Mercy has prevented me so grant that it may follow me all the days of my Life Soli Deo sit Gloria The End of the Third BOOK BOOK IV. Of Solitude and the practice of two excellent Retreats of ten Days CHAP. I. Of the Beauty of Christian Solitude WE ought to have an esteem of all sorts of Professions whereof God is the Author who though he be but one doth nevertheless afford to his Church different states of living It concerns us therefore to think very honourably of them all and manifest as much by our words but to betake our selves only to what God calls us The excellency of other ways ought not to withdraw us from our proper Vocation A Soul then may delight her self in beholding the Church as a most beautiful Medow replenish'd with great variety of Flowers of singular virtue and so taking complacency in all states of Life to apply her self only to that which she has a call from Heaven and this also because God requires it from her A Solitary retired life is so beautiful and has such charming attractives that when the Soul has once experience of it she finds there her Heaven upon earth Being to take a farewell of one of my Friends who was returning home and having parted with him this thought forthwith strongly ceaz'd my imagination Alas my God! when shall I return home to my self that is to you Seeing your goodness is more manifest in affording me a place in the Idaeas of your understanding from all eternity before time gave me an existence among created entities now I am your Creature let me consider my self daily as in you who are my inheritance and everlasting possession To be be at home O my Soul is not to be with thy self but with God thy Creator O how great is the blindness of men not to understand that they have no other Country but the Divinity from whence they proceeded by their Creation Inconsiderate Creatures whether are you going For my part I will return home to the Fountain of my Being my true home who is great beautiful admirable eternal and incomprehensible O what joy is it to consider that my true home is such as he is Is it possible O my God that you are the home and center of my Soul Why do we not readily go out from the clogging crouds of Creatures where we are in perpetual banishment to return to our home the bosome of our Creatour What can I desire in Heaven or in Earth besides you my portion and Inheritance for ever Comfort thy self O my Soul considering that thou shalt return to the Divinity thy glorious home and in the interim rest content with Jesus thy crucified home and repose O how amiable also how great and admirable is Jesus crucified My Soul can find no Peace but by resting in him where nature tasts a bitterness a thousand times more sweet than all Worldly delicacies Without him all other pleasures are but dreaming fancies O Jesus crucified the World knows not your sweets the beauty of your sufferings is hid from their sight they
me forthwith to set upon the practice of this life hidden crucified despised which you have taught us by your example that I may truly say with St. Paul Absit mihi gloriari nisi in cruce Domini nostri Your Cross dear Jesus is my Glory and I will glory in nothing else Honours Pleasures Riches I declare my mortal enemies seeing your property is to incline me perpetually to deviate from those ways to which Jesus calls me I abhor you as enemies of my Perfection Ah dear Saviour make me partaker of your life humble poor despised or let me live no longer in this life of mortality When Heaven shall be my Habitation I shall be content to be in Glory because there you are also in Tryumph but seeing that on Earth you would not be but in an abject condition I desire there to be with you also Alas I march but slowly to arrive at Perfection however in reality I would fain be wholly humbled both interiourly and exteriourly as your Divine wisdom sees best for me If it was your will I would search after external humiliations for I find no better food for a Christian Soul Perhaps they will prove hard of digestion to me yet for all that they may become by use profitable and delicious O dear Saviour seeing it is said of you by the Evangelical Prophet Saturabitur opprobriis Give me my fill of opprobies and abjections Ravish with your sweetness and consolations those who know well how to use such favours As for me let my repast be with Gall and Vinegar because by their relish I shall be rendred more like unto you O Jesus why was you circumcised O Mary why was you purified Your hearts were not sullied and yet you submit your selves to the abjections of sinners because to be despised was the object of your most tender affections There were never two hearts more full of the love of God and never more inflamed desires after humiliations Seeing then that one is the measure of the other if we will testifie that we love God we must also love to suffer for him How unjust are our complaints against those who undervalue us and how unreasonably are we disquieted when we are scorn'd by others We ought rather to be troubled because we are not despised enough and thus it would be with us if we had a heart entirely Christian 'T is true Grace can only infuse such inclinations into our Souls Nature eggs us on to the contrary And 't is my unhappiness that I who write this shall I fear fall short hereof in time of trial For I am altogether frail and good for nothing and for ought I know what I have said or done which appears so beautiful may be rotten within witness my often relapses which sufficiently tell me what a poor abject Creature I am and how much I deserve to be despised CHAP. II. The foundation of true Christian Humility WHen I consider that God is all in all that he possesses in himself incomprehensible perfections that he has created and provided for us infinite good things I cannot but acknowledge that all Honour all Glory all Praise all Adoration is due unto him O how just a debt is all this from us to the Divine Majesty When I consider O God that I am a pure Nothing that I have in my self an inexhaustible Mine of imperfections and miseries that I have committed great offences and am yet liable to more unless prevented by Grace I acknowledge that I deserve to be the scorn of men all sorts of opprobries and disgraces all maladies of Soul and Body Darkness punishments Temporal and Eternal to be afflicted mocked persecuted by all creatures as Executioners of Divine Justice And I look upon my self as the Mark whereat should be aimed these Arrows of deserved indignation God can never be sufficiently honoured loved exalted glorified and I can never be enough debased hated despised and persecuted I ought to have not only this humility of Spirit but likewise a will and affection to suffer for God always esteeming my self worthy of all scorn and contempt though never so publick if it may conduce to God's glory and the good of others For if I be honour'd as my condition requires if I do not debase my self below the meanest Vassals 't is because the Order of government forbids it and would not be expedient for those who might abuse this condescension However as for me I ought to have this will and inclination and believe 't is the place is due unto me Alas dear Saviour I cannot be acceptable in your sight unless I have an humble heart and this I cannot have but by your grace For if all natural good proceeds from your bounty much more must all supernatural grace flow from the pure Fountain of your Mercy and if you are the Giver of all grace doubtless principally of true humility which is so repugnant to nature that there 's nothing she more abhors than Humiliation Seeing dear Saviour all good proceeds from you the glory thereof ought solely to be rendred to you I ought to take no complacence but in you rejoycing in that you glorifie your self enriching my poverty with your abundance When I see persons afflicted poor distressed lame deformed I confess dear Saviour these humiliations are my due and if you should inflict any of them on me I would adore and love your Justice and for what you have bestowed upon me I adore and love your mercy I will never complain because no Creature can do me an injury I ought not to look on the designs of men whose intentions oftentimes are only to hurt to revenge and solace themselves with others miseries but to have an eye to the purposes of God which are to chastise me to better me and to humble me The Jews put Jesus Christ to death out of revenge and envy and God the Father had a design thereby to save Mankind I will not hereafter hunt after Applause and Honour for I am resolved not to follow the inclination of depraved Nature but following the example of Jesus Christ who suffered for me I will desire poverty contempts pains and uniting them to his sufferings I will earnestly beseech him according to the multitude of his mercies to have pity on me If we would once seriously endeavour to know our selves the beams of Divine Grace would make wonderful discoveries in our Souls without which 't is impossible for us to see the depth of our miseries In this Dungeon lies a prolifical Seed of Treason ready on all occasions to conceive and bring forth all sorts of iniquity O that 't is not sufficient to be without the black tincture of actual sin We have the source thereof within us and certain vitious inclinations deeply rooted even as we find some Weeds in Gardens so fixed that their roots seem to reach the very centre which will never hardly be entirely pluck'd up but daily they appear a-new and keep us in
too much rely on the Creatures that is on the means we use for our proficiency as the reading of good Books Conferences Sermons Meditation c. All these are very good when they are done with great confidence in God and fervent Prayer for nothing but an Almighty hand can pluck us out of the depth of our Miseries and crown us with Glory God is an infinite good in whom all fulness dwells and whatever good is in the Creature are but emenations from Him the Creature of it self being but a meer Vacuum and privation of goodness As we cannot conceive a greater fulness than is in God so we cannot imagine a more extreme indigency than is in the Creature 'T is the same thing to be God and all Goodness and to be a Creature and Nothing the One is all Abundance the Other all Poverty Every one grants this truth but without serious reflection which is the cause we have no true self-denial and diffidence in our own abilities and as much as we rely on our selves we hinder the operation of grace in us O my God! I am content with my Poverty because it brings me to the knowledge of your Riches I should forget what I am if I were not full of wants and imperfections I am well pleased that you are All and I am Nothing but what you vouchsafe to bestow on me The three Divine Persons can only proportionally communicate to each other their infinite Perfections I poor Creature can give nothing to God nor do any thing for him The best I can do is to acknowledge my inability and weakness neither can I do this without his grace which also he gives unto me There is so infinite a disproportion between God and a Creature that if I should lay down my life for God's sake it would be less than if a Pismire should die for the greatest Monarch Whatever the glorious Angels or Saints in Heaven or his Servants on Earth can do for God adds nothing to him We cannot dive into the full depth of our Nothing God only knows it and what we discover by it is by the illuminating Rays of his Grace and Mercy To understand this well we must know that God is not glorified by our good actions but inasmuch as they are agreeable to his will from whence they receive the tincture of goodness and he magnifies his bounty and mercy by accepting and rewarding our small performances So that the graces and favours he bestows upon us in this life and the glory of the other are the effects of his pure goodness 'T is very advantagious for a Soul thus to know her own Nothing for it makes her a Martyr of Love and loving God will do any thing for him and by this knowledge sees that of her self she can do nothing So that hanging as it were between will and weakness she breaths forth such desires as did St. Austin If I was God and you a Creature I would willingly become a Creature that you might be God But perceiving this to be an impossible imagination this poor Soul increases her Martyrdom and dies of love because not able to do any thing for her Beloved Yet this one consolation does revive her in that though she can do nothing her well-beloved can do all and taking delight in what he is and that he hath no need of any thing she reposes quietly in the bosom of God who is her all and final happiness CHAP. VII That God is glorified by our annihilation NOthing but Divine Faith can teach us to love mortification and the annihilation of our selves Natural and worldly wisdom cannot relish it and therefore are not to be consulted or hearkened to being but blind guides in the practice thereof The sin of pride has ruin'd the Glory and Kingdom of God in our Souls and that cannot be re-established but by our ruine and by how much the more we are mortified and dead to our selves by so much the more God is revived in us Poor Creatures as we are we afflict our selves because we are so weak and good for nothing without talents without knowledge that left to our selves all things go wrong with us O that we would learn to be content with these miseries that we might thereby arrive to the happy state of annihilation we might then bring as much glory to God as by great performances for in all these privations the Soul finds no relyance or consolation in her self or in any other Creature but in God alone Holy Job never brought more glory to God than when he was plung'd in the Abyss of humiliations on a Dunghil God glorifies himself in Heaven by the exaltation of his Creatures here on Earth by their humiliation Do we not see that the Wisdom of the eternal Father did prescribe to his Son this way of honouring him on Earth Hath not our blessed Saviour taught us by his words and actions in the constant practice of self-denial And think we to find out a better way to glorifie God than what our Divine Master hath set before us There 's nothing wherein a Creature can more purely glorifie the Creator than by a willing submission to that self-destruction which God works in us for where there is the least of the Creature there 's most of God But in this God does in a manner work all and the Creature yields obedience to his operations To bear patiently the deprivation of light and sweetness and sensible influences in Heaven in our recollections may do us more good than the most illuminated and gustful Prayer To be abandon'd and forsaken by our Friends and bear it with patience and resignation may more profit us than their friendship and services And so it is in the loss of other things because in derelictions and deprivations we seek God with a more purified intention there being less of self in it having not the satisfaction to act but only to receive the loss of what is dear to us meerly because it pleases God thus to deal with us for his greater glory 'T is a sad thing to consider the blindness wherein I have lived O how hard a thing it is for human reason to apprehend the Doctrine of the Son of God! 'T is true it teaches us to crucifie and deny our selves which is what naturally we fear and dread The measure of God's love to a Soul is to be judged by its degree of humiliation which is a way without all exception seeing the Gospel tells us that whosoever does not deny himself and all worldly things cannot be the Disciple of Jesus Christ O dear Jesus humbled for us I see the way wherein you have walked and that I must take up my Cross to follow you I am content to accept it and am willing to be your Disciple Be it then that my Body be afflicted with sickness my Goods lost my Honour in the dust and I become as I deserve of little or no esteem and repute Be it
secret Orders well known to her self and walks Peaceably in the pursuance of those Affairs which have immediate relation to God And is content also to be extroverted by Secular Affairs as Goods and Honours to serve our Corporal necessities and help our Neighbours But 't is God present in us that sets a a Soul on work by his Orders and necessary Instructions 1. We must undertake no business yea not good works without a Mission that is without some Interiour Call from God And therefore it concerns us to have recourse to him by Prayer to know his will least we do what he does not require of us 2 When we know that God sets us on work we ought to be very faithful in the performance of it I observe that affairs of obligation do not distract our Introversion 3. We must acknowledge our insufficiency to bring our endeavours to a Happy issue 'T is the Sun that makes the Plants to grow to blossom and fructifie and not the Gardiner that sets and waters them In like manner 't is the Grace of God that makes our endeavours prosperous Paul may plant and Apollo may water but God gives the increase 4 To regulate the times of our Exercises without which the Soul will languish and grow feeble Charity well order'd begins at home I must not for others neglect the most important affair of my own Salvation O my God when I am in the privation of the sensible sweets of your presence and find a dryness on my Soul it seems to me not hard to bear it But when I am ravish'd with enjoyment to be call'd from it to mind other business this seems to me more difficult and mortifying We may strive to have the like content in other affairs but our infirm condition will not suffer it and do what we can we fall short of the sweets of such enjoyment It remains then to make an excellent act of abnegation and by an amorous resignation of our will to Gods make it our contentment to have no other contentment than Gods good pleasure who will not have us to be disturb'd to want enjoyment And thus we offer up to God an excellent Sacrifice seeing we give to God what is most dear and precious to us by dying to our selves to live to him I am therefore resolv'd to fall a working without troubling my Spirit too much with the Ideas of Affairs that I may still conserve an actual endeavour to practice on divers occasions and maxims of Christianity and Evangelical Councils by self-denyal and a love of Sufferings for Christs sake And if I continue in this Spirit of Sacrifice and entire abnegation it will make me content with that little Service God requires of me being unworthy by reason of my sins to be advanced to greater performances He is indeed our Soveraign Lord and he may be do with his Creatures what he pleases But whatever we undertake let us have a care to do our works for God with purity of intention and in ill successes to have a Spirit of resignation which may prove to us of more worth than the conversion of Souls When we are in the heat of our Affairs it much concerns us not to let them deface in our Soul the incomparable Idea of the Interiour of Jesus which is the Copy we must endeavour to write after in imitation whereof we always find sufficient matter of glorifying God which is the only pretention we ought to have both for Time and Eternity In this Abiss of Perfections I find how to behave my self in Prayer in Action in Affairs in Contempts in Temptations in Aridities in Disconsolations And without the Idea of this Divine Interiour we do but blunder in the way to Perfection and seek our own esteem and excellency There are in Spiritual Persons three sorts of Purity 1. Purity of Conscience 2. Purity of Virtue 3. Purity of Perfection Whoever is careful to avoid sin even those that proceed from Frailty has purity of Conscience Those who on all occasions practice Virtue without a mixture of nature have Purity of Virtue And those who being divested entirely of themselves and the creatures endeavour purely to practice the perfect acts of Virtue are arrived to the purity of Perfection By these degrees of Purity we may discover the different states of Virtuous Souls CHAP. VIII The presence of God brings us into a disesteem of other things AFter God has manifested himself to a Soul making her to see that he is all the Soul enamour'd on this adorable presence takes no rest but in him finding her self ill at ease without him who is all in all unto her O how Powerful is this Divine Idaea to withdraw a Soul from all Creatures that she may be united to her all How does she happily loose her self in this great all O my God says she how true is it that you are all and I am nothing Dear Lord what can we do for you You are all and have no need of our goods Of the all of our Souls how little are you known and beloved I know not what men intend in not having their thoughts taken up about him who is our all Where art thou O my Soul when thou art not in this all Without doubt thou art in nothing for as long as thou art in thy self or in the Creatures thou art in the depth of nothingness The content I have in that God is all is more as it seems to me for him then my self For my joy is to know him to be what he is before I was any thing O great all be you for ever what you are and that you shall be our all everlastingly does comfort and ravish me I see that God is not only all but that all Glory all Grandeur all Beatitude is in him neither loses he any thing by his communications to his Creatures He takes infinite Pleasure to do good to them by his mercy and no less content is he to punish them by his Justice because they deserve it for nothing can disturb his happiness O what Felicity is it to a Soul that loves God purely to be assured that God shall be infinitely happy to all Eternity and that no malice of man can alter his Beatitude Such a Soul is greatly pleased to consider the contentment God takes to make her live to make her die to keep her in Health or in Sickness to supply her Corporal necessities and furnish her Interiour with all Graces For God draws great Glory to himself by all his Creatures Be comforted then O my Soul and be not disconsolate seeing that God is always happy Be not troubled for any thing seeing that every thing which torments thee may bring Glory to God Do not value any thing but God alone seeing in his presence the most excellent Creatures are as pure nothings Tanquam nihilum ante te 'T is easie and pleasant for a Soul to value nothing in the presence of God she finds in
vast spaces of nothing 't is by It the Heaven and Stars observe their motions without deficiency the Elements and Plants and Animals are constant in their Productions Without the influence of this Omnipotency no Creature could subsist one moment or have any operation In a word so great is this Power that in an instant it could by one silent word produce a thousand new Worlds out of nothing O Divine Omnipotency how little art thou considered and yet how able to ravish all considering hearts O my Soul let us consider that we are always in the hands of an Omnipotent God Shall we then be discouraged with the difficulties we meet withall in this Life of Miseries Shall we be afraid of our own frailties and weaknesses and the Power of our Adversaries Is not Omnipotency able to uphold us Who can pluck us out of our Heavenly Fathers hands If God be for us who can be against us This is our hope this our comfort O my God I am very sensible what a weak Creature I am and how Potent are my enemies but this does not terrify me because You my strength and supporter are Omnipotent in whom only I put my trust Omnia possum in eo qui me comfortat I can do all things as St. Paul assures us through Christ strengthning me The third Day Of the Wisdom of God O My Soul let 's this day contemplate the Wisdom of God which is able to ravish us if we consider a right the beautiful order of the Vniverse O what admirable Oeconomy is there in the order of Nature of Grace of Glory O how all the dispositions of the Divine Wisdom do appear therein most wonderful We cannot seriously reflect or meditate on any of Gods works but we shall find his Wisdom to be incomprehensible and this does ravish a devout Soul and makes her often cry out O my God how well is this done how wisely is that ordained If my Soul fixes her thoughts in Heaven to contemplate there the admirable order of that Holy City in the various ranks of Angels the several Glories of the Holy Patriarchs Apostles Martyrs Confessors Virgins who are themselves transported in admiration of the Divine Wisdom herein can we but cry out O infinite Wisdom how profound art thou in thy dispositions If from Heaven we descend to Earth how is the Soul ravish'd to observe the unspeakable bounty of Divine Wisdom in the order of all things bringing about the great work of mans Salvation so infallibly and sweetly To see God himself in a manner annihilated to purchase for sinful Creatures Infinite Grandeurs by his Humiliations to behold the triumphs of the Cross of Jesus Crucified over the World sin and hell and the powers of darkness to see and consider these things must needs make us cry out in admiration of the Divine Wisdom incarnate O sapientia quae de Caelo ad terram descendisti O Wisdom which descended from Heaven to earth what wonders have you wrought for mans redemption What Praises what Thanksgivings O my Soul wilt thou render what returns wilt thou make to God for all his benefits and ordinations concerning thee We must conform our selves to the Divine Will and say O my God righteous are you in all your ways 't is well done because so order'd by your Infinite Wisdom Do we live or die are we afflicted or comforted Sit nomen Domini benedictum Seeing God will have it so his Name be blessed The consideration hereof O my Soul will teach us patience and resignation in all the events and changes of Mortality The fourth Day The Patience of God O My God how long is your Patience how profound and unsearchable Who but a God of Infinite Patience could suffer daily such provocations and contradictions from mortals and yet continue to do them a thousand favours to perswade them to amendment O patience of God how art thou unspeakable how art thou unconquerable O my God you know those who will hate and Blaspheme you eternally and yet you bear with them vouchasafing them your Sun and Light and daily Mercies still calling upon them with your holy inspirations to return unto you for their everlasting good Sustinuit in multa patientia vasa irae Your patience is wonderful to sinners we must blame our selves when we perish eternally On what side soever I cast my eyes from one Pole to th' other I see God every where offended contemned contradicted provoked blasphemed and in all the infinite triumphs of his patience sweetly working the Salvation of Sinners O what a long series of patience do I observe in the course of my Life To bear with me so many years wallowing in the mire of my sins when I deserved by Justice to have been cast into Hell To pass over all the resistances I have made to his holy inspirations To have waited and conducted me by his mercy to repentance O ye infinite Patience of God towards me 'T is to you I owe my Salvation or else I had been long since a lost creature for ever Are we not ashamed to see our passions and impatience with others when God notwithstanding our manifold provocations is so long-suffering towards us A single word and sometimes our sole imagination does put us in choler and we contend in heat without containing our selves 'till our anger be over O my God of Infinite patience if you should thus deal with us what would become of us poor creatures The fifth Day Of the Love of God COme my Soul let us walk this day in the pleasant and vast extensions of Gods love the holy love of our merciful God a love incomprehensible which is from eternity to eternity as large as his Essence and the self-same thing with it where ever I am I find my self surrounded with the effects of this infinite Love O my God I sometimes contemplate you as good to us and consider you as in your Creatures which you vouchsafe me for my use and delight But now I have an eye to you as you are in your self and I find my self so in you that I cannot go out of you for you environ me on every side you are in me and out of me and I cannot go from you but I must go to you How art thou beloved O my Soul how art thou beloved of God with an affection surpassing the love of a Mother to her Children The most she can do is to carry them in her bosome with a tender affection which is sometimes wanting But God does lodge thee in the midst of his heart and will never forsake thee O what benefits and mercies dost thou receive from this Infinite goodness Alas when shall I live in God alone and not in my self that he may only reign in my heart O my God I confess and acknowledge that you have the sole right to possess my heart entirely and 't is most mine when 't is wholly yours but be pleas'd dear God to defend your right
of no value Speak to such a Soul of worldly affairs and you seem to cast dust in her eyes which hinders her from beholding the beauties of her Beloved and as soon as she can she clears her eyes to recover her Happiness This inconvenience makes her flee from the World to preserve her purity from being fullied with the dust of Creatures When we leave our Solitude by the order of God to converse with men we find our selves better dispos'd to the practice of Heroick Virtues to a perfect contempt of riches and honours to patience in cross affairs to the love of enemies to an affability condescendance and fidelity to our Friends Thus expressing in our actions the Image of Jesus Christ by faithfully complying with the occasions of Virtue Pure Mortification pure Virtue these are the delights of a Soul that hath convers'd with God in a holy retirement where she hath learn'd to love him purely and suffer for him CHAP. III. The difficulties of Solitude I find by experience that nothing more hinders our Salvation and Holiness than to overwhelm our selves with multiplicity of Affairs though lawful so as to loose thereby the times alotted for Prayer and Mortification the proper nourishment of a Spiritual Life A gracious Soul must therefore so comport her self in converse and action as not to engage at all her affections therein for God alone is the life of her Spirit without whom she finds her self both poor and miserable 'T is God only makes our Solitude amiable being a kind of participation of the Life of God which consists in knowing and loving This Solitary life is much endang'red and sometimes lost in a croud of Creatures nor can the Soul approach to them without some spiritual detriment She must therefore have a care not to leave her retirements to follow Worldly business unless it be by some inspiration from God or obedience to Superiours In which cases if she labours to do good to others it will be no prejudice to her self You may give them a hearing who tell you that 't is not well done thus to retire from the World for they may speak this out of Charity but yet without a true knowledge and understanding of your way To discern this aright we must have a care not to confound spiritual maxims some whereof are proper for a Contemplative others for an Active Life These are to be put in practice without partiality for otherwise we shall much disorder the ways of God and disquiet others Seeing the Active and Contemplative Life are different the practice must be different likewise The Active requires to spend much time to do others good both Spiritually and Corporally which cannot be done without abilities and possessions to relieve the poor These possessions cannot be kept without some care and trouble and this care of Temporals is suitable enough to the Active Life But damagable to the Contemplative which layes aside all Temporal Affairs least they should divert them from their principal employment which is the actual love of God and attention to his Divine presence The Active Life requires possessions to have wherewithall to give to the poor 'T is enough for the Contemplative to have himself in possession that he may give himself up wholly to God whereby he possesses him with great advantage Those that undertake this Solitary Life of Contemplation must expect sufferings on every side yea some spiritual men will account them Sycophants There 's little discourse of them because they live a hidden life and pass in a manner for unprofitable Persons They live unknown and die in abjection and living a despis'd life they are esteemed by too many but as the dust of the earth And which is the greatest cross of all if their Directors have not light and judgment in these matters they force them to an Active Life and so bring them off from their way and center with a continual rack and violence to their Conscience and Inclinations The Devil Persecutes them in their Solitudes endeavouring to divert them by disgusts or by Idaeas of great matters they shall do by helping others and that they ought to prefer the salvation of one only Soul before all their Prayers and Contemplations Notwithstanding all this they ought to continue constant to the Solitude to which they have a call from Heaven unless God give them different Inspirations to apply themselves to an Active Life Holy Abraham did quit his Hermitage upon these terms to search out his debauched Neece to save her Soul The truest Rule for Contemplatives either to continue or quit their Solitude is to observe the instincts and motions of God in their Interiour examin'd by skilfull Directors in those matters We must have a special care that in the eager pursuit of the things of God we do not withdraw our selves from the Divine Order concerning us in a course of spirituality Our great efforts must be not to do much but to please God And seeing God is pleas'd with a little from us though all we can do for his glory is always very little and almost nothing we must be content to do little since such is the order of his Providence Let every one go on in his own way with indifferency love and fidelity leaving others Peaceable in theirs with a great esteem of the Grace of God in them and continuing on our course 't is no prudence to discover the actings of God in us unless to such who are Practitioners in Contemplation Who has a call to Solitude and Contemplation must free himself from Creatures as much as possible shun discourses of News and reflections on Worldly Affairs unless constrained by necessity or Charity For a little matter will darken the Soul and hinder her from being elevated to God by Contemplation To conclude believe me a true Contemplation must be endowed with profound Purity of Virtue which cannot be attained by a constant Mortification of sensual nature which is no small and a lasting Martyrdom CHAP. IV. The Occupations of Solitude MEthinks for some days past I have had many inward motions inviting me to Solitude and Contemplation which notwithstanding did not relish with me because in such retirements we do little or nothing for the good of others But we ought to carry our selves above such considerations resolutely following the conduct of God with a firm adherence to his Orders In this faithful complyance with Divine Inspirations consists the Purity and Happiness of our Souls it being the principal work and most advantagious means to attain to Perfection and union with God O my God I am in a manner good for nothing you have not endow'd me with great Talents for the good of others But I must needs acknowledge your singular mercies to me in enriching my Soul with Divine love and continual aspiring after union with you Let others do what you have set them about 't is sufficient for me if the ardours of Divine Love inflame my heart To
have inflamed affections for you is my greatest work but to bring my heart to such a temper it must become like dry wood being emptyed of humidity by a seperation from all Creatures This desire of inflamed affections puts me upon purifying my heart and the expectation of enjoyment makes me eager in the practice of Mortification by embracing Evangelical Councels and maxims of Christianity Seeing poverty contempt and crosses increase the flames of Divine Love they are welcom to me for I ardently desire to see them arise to their highest elevation I know a good Religious man who in his Solitudes is in continual Prayer not only by the elevation of his Spirit but by union with God in a wonderful manner My Soul finds great contentment in his discourse and conversation In sickness his enjoyment of God is not so vigorous nor his Peace of Soul so savorous though always great Worldly conversations seem but as dreams to him and when past they did only leave confus'd Idaeas in his memory A blessed man doubtless while here on earth And conversing with me in simplicity of heart by obedience he declar'd to me what wonderful enjoyments God was pleas'd to vouchsafe unto him He told me that to attain Purity of Heart we must divest our selves of all affections to Creatures and not satisfie our natural desires which is a great Mortification when 't is continual In sickness we must stand very much upon our guard for we easily relax and yield too much to nature Not to correspond to a known inspiration is gross infidelity and much retards our advancement in a Spiritual Life A principal point of Devotion is by a punctual fidelity to omit no occasion to practice virtue whether of humility patience abjection or any other This Contemplative told me that the choicest effect wrought in us by Revelations or Visions is this punctual fidelity to Gods calls 'T is an affair will take up the whole Soul to free her self from any engagement with Creatures and conquer her own natural Inclinations that she may enter into the states of Jesus crucified and into his ways with his Spirit that is with his intentions and dispositions Let us O my Soul in the profound silence of our Solitude often say to Jesus O Divine Jesus despised for me contemptible poor for me a poor Creature annihilated for me a meer nothing Terms which in some sort express the perfect union that the Soul ought to have with Jesus Crucified And this union is the grand occupation of Solitaries In the Court of Kings the Cooks and Bakers and other meaner Officers labour more than a Gentleman of the Chamber who has little to do but to attend his Majesty as a Companion rathen then a Servant A Favourite has yet less employ being admitted into his Prince's Closet to converse freely with him and entertain each other with mutual caresses In the House of God they who are appointed most for action are not the greatest Favourites those to whom God vouchsases extraordinary visits in Contemplation labour less and yet are more accepted by him T is not for us to apply our selves too much to Exteriour actions of Charity but to correspond to Gods Holy Inspirations if he call us to Solitude to attend on himself alone out of the noise of Creatures Is it not great pity that Temporal affairs should take up the best days of our years and the choicest hours of our days leaving us little time in comparison to apply our selves to the one thing necessary the work of our Eternal Salvation 'T would be better for us if we would allot more time to our Holy retirements to converse with God by Prayer and Contemplation and begin on earth what we must continue without end in ever Blessed Eternity CHAP. V. How we may put our Soul and Senses into a Solitude LEt us not deceive our selves in being content to receive the seed of Divine Inspirations without bringing forth any fruit according to the designs of God If we have a discerning Spirit in the ways of Grace we shall soon discover that this our only affair and all the rest is but amusement and folly To nourish this Divine Seed in us we must shun the conversation of Worldly wisemen who are guided only by Carnal Prudence and so being strangers to the Procedings of Grace leave in us more or less by their Discourse some Impression of their ill opinions which will retard our advancement in the ways of God To put the Soul into Solitude we must retire from all Creatures and put our selves absolutely in the hands of God to do with us what he pleases and apply our selves to him alone with all possible endeavours To be faithful herein we must resolve to suffer much for we cannot abide Peaceably in this Divine Hermitage without leaving Parents Friends Worldly Entertainments Affairs and to suffer almost a continual Persecution on every side For one tells you that it is an Hypocritical and unprofitable Life Another that so much Solitude cannot be good in that we ought to have some Charity for our Neighbour But let them talk on every one is to follow his own work and the will of God according to their vocation The best and most noble imployment in the World is to converse with God and do that on Earth which the Saints and Angels do in Heaven How the Devil persecutes a Soul in this state under fair pretences But she must stop her ears and quit all to adhere to her Soveraign good when he vouchsafes to call her to attend on him alone When God says he will lead a Soul into a Solitude Ducam eam in Solitudinem 'T is a singular Mercy For we shall find but few in the World prepar'd for the Cross and resolv'd to go through all the difficulties of a Life so supernatural A Soul that is in such a happy disposition will live Solitary not troubling her self with the cryes of others When God once speaks Powerfully to the heart 't will make more impression on us than all the noise of the World It comes into my mind that to be Faithful to the Call of God which I have to Solitude requires of me to spend six hours a day in Prayer and to comply therewith to retire my self about five in the Afternoon and eat little at night Methinks also I ought to observe a general Solitude not only in relation to my Soul but to my Interiour and Exteriour Senses yea when I shall converse with my Friends and behold her I conceive this may be done Sacred Solitude consists in being alone with God in a vacancy from Creatures and whatevet is not God It seems to me then when we discourse of God and his affairs we make our tongue Solitary and so speak like a Hermit When we will not give ear to any but Divine Discourses our ears turn Hermits When we will not allow our eyes any Objects but such as are pleasing to God we put them into
wherein consists their Felicity The Father is the source of Being the the Son the term of his Knowledge and the Holy Spirit of his Love The Son and Holy Ghost are from the Father The Father and the Holy Spirit know the Son The Father and the Son love the Holy Ghost These are the wonders that make Heaven Happy Firmly to believe them is our Blessedness on Earth and to Contemplate them continually brings solid consolation to the Soul I saw clearly that to dispose my self for this incomparable Happiness I was to purifie my Interiour and to mortifie some natural resentments which yet live in me As namely too great a fear about the loss of Worldly things or to be despis'd by others or ill success of Affairs besides too great a sense of humane respects and a backwardness to follow the instincts of Grace for worldly considerations I know God sometimes suffers these Imperfections to live in us for the exercise of Virtue and the Tryal of our Fidelity However his will is that we strive to be dead to the World and our selves having our affections so fix'd on Heavenly things as to live a Divine Life in Mortal Bodies Believe me 'till our Interiour be throughly purified we shall not not be capable of high contemplation nor arrive to much knowledge in the secrets of God Fourth Day IN my first Prayer I was principally taken up with the adorable Person of the Eternal Father Methought I saw how he was ravish'd with Infinite Joy in Himself with the Son and the Holy Spirit And what complacency he also took in the Suffering of the Humanity of Jesus Christ though he loves him with the same love wherewith he loves himself And because these sufferings were pleasing to his Divine Father as satisfactory for our sins he did thirst to suffer more to fulfill his will And therefore after such variety of dolorous sufferings dying on the Cross he cryed out Sitio I Thirst It much rejoyc'd my heart to see what Infinite Complacency the three Divine Persons took in the Divinity and said within my self O Sacred Trinity enjoy eternally these Infinite delights But I desire as much as I can to add to your Exteriour Contentments by imitating the suffering of my Blessed Saviour And herein I will not have so much an eye to the reward to please the Sacred Trinity whom I adore Behold then what hereupon it seems to me God put into my mind 1. To eat neither Fish nor Flesh but in case of Sickness 2. To Discipline every day 3. To be pleas'd with occasions of Contempt 4. To despise all Temporal things to follow the attracts of Divine Love 5. To lie down upon a hard Bed 6. To cut off all Worldly Visits and retire my self into a Solitude where the World may despise me I consider'd in my second Prayer that the Son of God in the bosom of his Divine Father in possession of Infinite Delights and Joys unspeakable out of love to his Father did quit his bosom and cloath himself with Mortal Flesh to plunge himself in the depth of Miseries abjection and sufferings that he might glorifie his Divine Father by his humane and suffering Life and teach us Men his Brethren that the way to enter into the Love and Glory of his Father is by the gate of Sufferings Is it You O only begotten Son of the Eternal Father is it You born in a Stable working in a Shop dying on a Cross You that are all Splendor and Glory the Light of the World and the Delight of Heaven Is it You that are so poor and abject so void of Friends so full of Disgraces so scorn'd and despis'd Is it You whom they esteem as the out-cast of men and not worthy to live on the face of the Earth O the Love of the Son towards his Father O the strange invention of the Son to advance the Glory of his Father O my Jesus how admirable are you in your Divinity But how amiable are you in your Humanity I desire O dear Jesus to follow you all the days of my life and seek no other Glory than in your Cross and Poverty your Humiliations and Sufferings Absit mihi gloriari nisi in Cruce Domini nostri Jesu Christi The Cross of Christ is my Crown and Glory We ought not to possess Honours Riches and Worldly Preferments without Fear and Humility Have we not cause to fear that in a state of Worldly greatness Nature will seek her self and not follow Jesus poor and humble which ought to be done either effectively or in affection A state of Suffering under the Cross is truly Glorious and full of Interiour Consolation In my third Prayer I consider'd that the union of the Father with the Son and of the Son with the Father is by the Holy Ghost a union Infinite and adorable O Holy Spirit seeing 't is your property to unite unite my heart so intimately to the adorable Trinity present in me that I may never suffer a seperation and that this adorable union may be frequent in my Thoughts and Meditations Blessed be your Holy Name my God that you are pleas'd to be so merciful unto me as to take up my thoughts with this incomprehensible Mystery O how do I begin too late having been too long amuz'd with vain trifles My past Life displeases me and the course of the World is troublesome unto me seeing it hinders me from conversing with you as I desire Natural Necessities as to Eat to Sleep to Recreat are burdensom unto a Soul quickened with your Spirit strongly inclining us to live here on Earth as in Heaven in a perfect and perpetual union with your Goodness The consideration which took up my thoughts in my fourth Prayer was that the Eternal Son and Holy Spirit seem'd to have more commerce with men then the Eternal Father because they appeared to us by external Missions the Son being made Man for to die for us and the Holy Spirit taking divers forms for the Service of man and to enflame our hearts with Divine Love The Eternal Father seem'd always to remain in himself ravish'd with his own Infinite Beauties and Perfections O adorable Mansion of the Eternal Father within himself O wonderful Missions of the Son and Holy Spirit towards us Men and for our Salvation eternal matter of Adoration O my God when shall I go out of my self to elevate my heart to you and converse with you I see very well that to enter into a Spirit of Prayer Retirement is requisite Abstinence and Spiritual Exercises And to conserve the same temper of Soul we must practice silence as much as our condition and affairs will permit If the Son of God and Holy Spirit did appear here upon Earth only for our good certainly we ought to endeavour to have our Conversation in Heaven and adore the most Sacred Trinity for these Infinite Mercies Fifth Day MY first Prayer past in acknowledgment and admiration of the Fulness of
sufficiently and fewer that practice it in Purity and really aspire to form the true image of Jesus in them In my second Prayer I did apply my self to consider how the Son of God being eternally in the midst between the Father and the Holy Spirit came down from Heaven to be a Mediator between his Eternal Father and us Sinners He tells us that no man can come to Father but by him and that he is the way which leads to Happiness And is it not a sad case that men should so much go astray This is a low and humble way and they puff'd up with Pride will march over mountains in ways above them This is a poor penitential suffering way and they are for a way easie delicious rich and commodious Is it possible to come to the bosom of the Eternal Father except we will march by the way of his Son There 's no other way to come to him and if we take our own way at every step we go farther from him O my God how long shall my Soul lag behind meerly in a way of nature When shall we O my Soul enter into Dispositions truly Christian and conform to the Dictates of a supernatural Life O Jesus my Saviour Redeemer my Exemplar my Way my Light 't is only by following you and your Divine Maxims that we can enter into the light of Life Of necessity then we must pass by Jesus Crucified to come to the Divinity of the Father and enjoy Jesus Glorified We must take up our Cross and follow him if we will enter into Glory My third Prayer was a continuation of like Thoughts I then understood that there 's no entring into Society with the three Divine Persons or arriving to such a height of Prayer as thereby we may live in them a Divine Life but by entring into communication with Jesus Christ and conforming our Life to his example This is a general Rule without exception The Life of Jesus was a severe self-denying Life and ours ought to be of such an austerity as may not ruine our health or dull the Spirit but humble the Body to elevate the Soul In a word we must daily endeavour to humble and annihilate our selves having only in our eye the Will of God The Eternal Father cannot take delight in any Soul that does not endeavour to resemble his Son It concerns us therefore to examine our hearts to see how they stand affected to Sufferings on all occasions If we cannot relish them but flie and complain 't is to be fear'd nature does possess us and not the Spirit of Jesus Christ Water in a glass remains quiet but if it finds the least passage it tends to its own element from whence it can only be kept by force In like manner a Soul that has overtures of Sufferings afforded her will find an inclination to embrace them if Jesus Crucified be her center It matters not by what means these occasions to suffer happen whether by the imprudence of Friends or the malice of Enemies Or her own neglect or any other accident she layes hold on the occasion to unite her self to the abjections of Jesus as to her center Happy is that Soul which is in this temper Grace and the Spirit of Jesus has wrought it in her In my fourth Prayer I went on to entertain my self with the wonders of the Son of God I admir'd that being in the Glory of his Father he descended to our Miseries that he might glorifie his Father in a new manner by purchasing for him such holy Souls who being animated with his Spirit after his example would be in love with Sufferings for Gods sake I saw clearly how the Son of God by his Eternal Birth is most glorious with Infinite Perfections and how he became Man to be capable of Sufferings for our sake And that we must follow Jesus in his Humiliations if we will be partakers of his Glory O what dark Souls have they who see not these Glorious Truths We live here a sensualor worldly life or at most do follow the light of reason rarely do we live a Christian and very rarely a Divine Life A thousand times happy are they who dear Jesus are enlightned by you the true Light of the World Jesus Christ cloath'd himself with a Mortal Body that he might suffer and be Sacrific'd upon the Cross and we ought to bear part with him The Saints who have known and tasted of his Spirit have Martyr'd their Bodies by a thousand Austerities Others have wasted away by degrees in the flames of Divine Love All have been desirous to suffer more or less But we are afraid to hurt our selves and are too apprehensive to endamage our Health For whom do we keep our embraces or for what is it that we are so desirous to live long upon Earth 'T is a vain fear to think we shall shorten our days by our endeavouring to live a Divine Life in our Mortal Bodies Seventh Day I Began my first Prayer by a peculiar instinct of the Holy Spirit bringing often to my mind those precious words of St. Paul God hath sent the Spirit of his Son into our Hearts crying Abba Father And then I found that a Soul assisted with the extraordinary infusions of the Holy Spirit is elevated above her self which is the effect of the gift of Wisdom freely communicated whereby she sees and tasts the ineffable Mysteries of our Religion O what a gracious gift is this What a great favour is it when God is pleas'd thus to communicate himself unto us It then seem'd to me that the faculties of my Soul ceas'd their ordinary operations and the obscurity of Faith as it were vanish'd this Divine Wisdom elevating them in such a manner which they cannot conceive who know not by experience to a very sublime way of working much above their ordinary proceedings The Soul stands wondring at it and can hardly believe she could arrive to such a point of Perfection Then a Divine Light gave me to see at once my unworthiness to receive the Graces of God his Goodness and Mercy to bestow them on me and the merits of Christ whereby they were purchas'd I was much amaz'd that God should vouchsafe so great favours to so wretched a sinner And I did melt in acknowledgements being humbled in my self with an entire confidence in the merits of Jesus I continued my second Prayer and this Divine Light increas'd in my Soul and discovered the favours God vouchsafes to Souls of which there are many degrees according to the proportion of their Purity of heart 1. They see the Deformity of Sin clear enough to conceive a horrour and detestation of it and know confusedly the Christian Virtues the Mysteries of the Sacred Humanity and Divinity 2. They see more clearly some Christian Principles as an Eternity of a Happy or Miserable condition after this Life that our Salvation is our Principal concern and the one thing necessary aend that all
elevate his Heart by frequent Prayer to God and Contemplation of his Divine Perfections or that dissipates his Spirit abroad by the impulses of Nature engaging himself in Temporal Affairs without being called thereto by the Inspiration and guidance of Grace though something of zeal appear in the thing and as one thinks a good intention I say this Interiour Fire in such a Person is to be compared to these Meteors or Lambent Fires which are carried about with every motion of the Air and shine but do not burn CHAP. XII The fifth Effect of Communion is to give Strength and Perseverance in the Service of God ONe day as I entred into a Church I heard them sing these words in Honour of the Blessed Sacrament Ambulavit in fortitudine cibi illius usque ad montem Dei He walked in the strength of this Bread even to the Mount of God These words affected me and made me Hope that notwithstanding my Miseries and continual weakness I might be so strengthned by receiving this Divine Bread that at last I might arrive to the Mount of God might raise my self above the low inclinations of Nature and mount to the participation of the Spirit of Jesus and Perfection of a Super-natural Life which Life is a high Mountain which no body can climb by the meer strength of Nature I observed before that the peculiar intention of Jesus in Instituting the Holy Sacrament was to give us a foundation to Life and Strength and for that reason 't is the only Sacrament that is given in the form of Nourishment The rest are prescribed by way of Remedy to purge the Soul from Sin or conferr'd by Ceremony of Cousecration to dedicate the Person to the peculiar Duties of Religion and Holy Things and so others respectively But this is the only one given by way of Heavenly nurture to enable us to live by the Life of Grace a perpetual Life over which the death of Sin has no power For Jesus Christ among other effects of this Divine Food assures us that it bestows Eternal Life Qui manducat hunc panem vivet in aeternum And it seems very reasonable and conform to the Infinite Goodness of God that the most excellent of Sacraments should confer the most excellent of Graces which is that of Perseverance A Grace so Sublime so Divine so precious that we cannot merit it by any or all the good Actions we can do But how rare and how noble soever it be we have much subject to hope that the Father of Mercies and God of all Consolations will grant us it since he has already enriched us with that which is Infinitely more than this Grace the Prefence of his only Son in the Blessed Sacrament Corporal Nutriment is Elementary and Material and therefore no better than Corruption Yet if the Body could take it always in a just proportion and were perfectly well disposed to draw the strength it affords it would continue our Natural Life and we should never die How much more would the Heavenly Bread the Living Bread which contains in it self the ever-flowing sources of Life confer a perpetuity and infectibility of Spiritual Life by Grace if the Soul duly used and were disposed to receive the abundance of Graces Virtues and Super-natural strength that this adorable Food brings with it When we Communicate we drink of the same Fountain the Blessed do in Heaven But to them it is the Water of Life Everlasting and what else can it be to us but that of the Life of never failing Grace which is the pledge and assurance of the Eternity of Glory O my Soul dost thou think that any of the Blessed in Heaven after they have tasted the Delights of that Torrent of Pleasures can be oloy'd with them or be contented to be deprived of that Divine and Happy Life How then canst thou be so unconstant and irresolute in the way of Grace and unfaithful in the Union thou hast contracted with God who hast drank the Waters of Joy from the same Fountains of thy Saviour When he presents himself really and in Person and demands to be admitted into thy Heart say not to him as St. Peter did Retire from me O Lord But breath out the Sentiments of perfect Love saying with the Spouse Tenui eum nec dimittam I will never abandon him O what a pleasant Society how profound a Peace does the enjoyment of the Soveraign Good bring to the Soul But both imperfect till they are finished in Heaven The fullest possession thereof she can acquire on Earth serves only to inflame her thirst more the more she tasts God the more she desires him and since there is no possibility of satisfying her desire in this Life she suffers a continual Martyrdom that makes her both die and live together Her pain is full of sweetness and that sweetness begets a languishing and longing after her Beloved She is disgusted with all created things and forceably drawn off from them Nothing pleaseth her in this condition but that which augments her flame She cannot read with satisfaction unless there be some mention of her Beloved All Conversation and Discourse are burthen some and tedious unless the subject be his Love My God you see the bottom of my Heart I conceive things that I cannot utter 'T is true I suffer but I would not but suffer I can do nothing but aspire to a fuller possession of your Infinite Goodness 'T is very much that you vouchsafe to give your self unto me in the adorable Sacrament with such an immense Love but still you give me only a hidden Treasure I possess you indeed but do not enjoy you to my hearts desire I am in the condition of Holy Simeon who held you in his Arms in the Temple and yet dyed with a desire to see you It is time O Lord now permit my Soul to depart in Peace and quit this Mortal Life because I receive within me the Spring and Source of Immortality I know for certain that in Paradice I shall obtain the perfect accomplishment of all my Desires yet I do not desire it till it be your good will and Pleasure Your Love makes me press forward and tend incessantly to the Beatifical Union but 't is your Love too that stops my course that draws me back inspiring me with the highest indifference and absolute dependance on your Divine Will O Jesus how admirable is your Providence you open my eyes to see the comfortable and Blessed sight of the Power and Purity of Love which ought to possess the Soul that has the Happiness to receive you often in the Holy Communion I relinquish and resign my self more than ever into your Divine Hands guide me as it shall best please you There is nothing left to ask you more since you have unasked bestowed your self upon me and crowned me with Mercies even beyond all my Hopes My business is to remain annihilated in your presence and quietly receive your Divine