pearle shall be made to forgett it's vallew rather then I will prize it above my charitie Even these very jewells shall be sould and consumed rather then I will valew my pride above my bountie They shall be parcelled out in severall summs and the naked shall weare them in their needefull apparell Or if these pearles being sould dispersed to the poore will not discover enough of my Christian compassion from mine eyes shall droppe such a plentifull store that my heart shall be free in it's liberall bountie and manifest thereby my tender affection There is a pearle which my Saviour mentions exceeding Mat 13 45. vers 46 all the treasures of the earth For that pearle will I learne to play the marchant and sell both this and all that I have for the purchase of that I neede not feare the want of ornaments if I part from these to be partaker of that for that pearle is a citty Reu 21 10. and that citty is great and holy even the holy Ierusalem whose light is like a Iasper stone vers 11 cleere as Chrystall vers 18 The bulding of the wall thereof is of Iasper the citty pure gold like unto cleere glasse the foundations of the wall are garnished with all māner of pretious stones vers 19 even with a Iasper a Saphir a Calcedony vers 21 an Emerald a Sardonix a Sardius a Chrisolite a Berill a Topaz a Chrysophrasus a Iacinct vers 21 and an Amethist the twelve gates are twelve pearles every severallgate a pearle and the very streete of the citty is pure gold as it were transparent glasse O who would not leave this drossie perishing gold for that which is so pure and shall last for ever Who would not forsake these mock and triviall jemmes for those most precious and unvalluable jewells Long since did my Saviour tell his disciples that it is easier for a camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle Mat 19 24. then for the rtch to enter into the Kingdome of God What then shall I doe who am borne downe from that Kingdome by the weight of my riches and kept out from the doore by the bundles the greatenesse of the baggs which I would carie When the ruler professed that hee had kept all the commandements of God from his youth Luc 18 21. vers 22 yet lacked hee one thing Hee was to sell all that hee had and give to the poore and then it was promised hee should have treasure in heaven But when hee heard this vers 23 hee was very sorrowfull for hee was very rich For my part I must confesse that I have beene farre more carefull to keepe my treasure then the commandement of God Yet if I had done it even from my youth as the ruler boasted howsoever my plenty would informe mee of my want One thing yet the ruler wanted and that one thing still I stand in neede of I want the diminishing of this earthly trash I must sell all that I have and give to the poore O I feare that this command will bee very sad and sorrowfull to mee too because I am very rich The more I possesse the more sorrow will arise when I shall part from my possessions But thus I must doe if I expect what I desire All must goe for the purchase of that pearle The poore must have baggs to receave my riches and then my store shall be treasured in heaven Yet am I not bound so to give to the poore as thereby to be one of the number of them Charitie unbounded becometh prodigalitie Those that are liberall must disperse with freedome but not with excesse Hee that command's mee to releive the poore command's mee not to give 'till I am poore If once I be reduced to such a penurie I shall be quite deprived of the power to be liberall What therfore is mine I will not impropriate and keepe onely to my selfe but first having furnished my selfe for necessitie I will preferre the wants of my brethren before my convenience or my delight I will not deny my felse the use of the creatures in a lawfull manner nor yet will I proudly satisfie my curiositie leave the indigent out of my thoughts I will labour to make these earthly riches serviceable to the donour even the God of heaven and that I may the better effect my desires I will humble my selfe on my knees at his foote-stoole and besiech him to bow downe his eare to my petitions while I pray unto him and say The Prayer HEavenly father Lord of plenty thou who hast created the world by thy power and continuest thy love in thy providence and protection to thee doe I render thanks for my plenty and to thee doe I offer the service of my store What I have is thine Ps 24.1 for the earth is thine and all that therein is the compasse of the world and they that dwell therein It is thou onely that givest a blessing to the fruit of the land Deut 7 13. to the corne to the wine and to the oyle to the increase of the Kine and of the flocks of the sheepe It is thou onely that commandest thy blessing in the store-houses c 28.8 and in all that thy servants doe set their hands unto Lord make mee one of thy faithfull servants that what thou hast sent mee may be a restimonie of thy love and not of thy hatred ◠Tim. 6.17 Make mee all ways magnifie thee in my time of plenty and not be high-minded nor trust in these uncertaine riches but in thee the living God who givest mee richly all things to enjoy O suffer mee not so to treasure up the deceitfull riches of this sinfull world Luc. 12 25. as thereby forgetting to be rich towards thee but as from thy bounty I receave these temporall blessings so in thy mercy make mee abound in grace 2. Cor 9.8 that allways having all sufficiency in all things I may abound to every good worke vers 11 and be enriched in every thing to all bountifullnesse that through mee it may cause thanksgiving unto thee my Lord and my God In this my prosperity give mee humility and prepare mee for adversitie if it shall please thee at any time to send it unto mee Give mee a sense of the afflictions of many of thy saints and distressed servants enlarge my heart that I may be ready and forward to contribute to their necessities Make mee shew mercy with cheerefullnesse Rom. 12.8 and possesse with thankfullnesse what thou sendest unto mee that I may neither forget thee in thy members nor deny thee to be the giver Let mee never stop mine eares at the cryes of the distressed who begge for reliefe in the name of thy selfe Thou ô Christ 2. Cor 8.9 who wert rich didst for my sake become poore that so through thy poverty thou mightest make mee rich Lord make mee as willing to bee
and this child have dyed so should the teares which I had shed through the extreamitie of my pangs be seconded with more for the losse of my desires In all these mercies I must looke up to my Redeemer and acknowledg him the father and donour of these blessings I will therfore magnifie him for his goodnesse and praise him for his loving-kindnesse Ps 106 1. I will give thankes unto the Lord for hee is gratious because his mercy endureth for ever The Prayer O Mercifull God heavenly father who hast now most especially made knowne unto mee Eph 3.20 that thou art able to doe exceeding aboundantly above all that wee aske or thinke make mee thankfully rejoyce in the worke of thy love and thy tender mercie Thy favours are greate and wonderfull in sparing the life of my selfe mine infant in freeing mee from my pangs and him from the darknesse of the silent wombe Thine ô Lord is the power by which I am delivered thine is the mercy by which I am safely returned unto my bed thine is the worke of the frame and fashion of this my babe thine therfore shall be likewise the glory for ever and ever Graunt blessed Father that I may never sorget thy goodnesse but expresse my thankfullnesse in my new obedience Make mee carefull in the performance of what service I promised thee in the extreamitie of mine anguish As thou hast given mee the fruit of my body to the joy of my heart so give mee the fruit of righteousnesse sowen in peace Iam 3.18 vers 17 Give mee the wisedome which is from above that is full of good workes without hypocrisie Lord make mee thy servant by grace and make this child thy child by adoption and mercy Give mee comfort in his life for the sorrowes which I endured at his birth Gal 1.15 Seperate him from the wombe as thou didst Saint Paul that hee may be a chosen vessell of sanctification and honour Teach mee innocency and simplicitie by the example of this infant and make mee hereafter teach him goodnesse and righteousnesse by the power of thy grace Make us allways children in wickednesse 1. Cor. 14.20 1. Pet 2.2 Gal 4.19 but not in understanding that so as new borne babes wee may desire the sincere milke of thy word that wee may grow thereby Let thy sonne Christ be formed in this litle infant that as it hath beene preserved by thy power and providence in the first birth so it may feele thy mercy and grace in the second Lord give a blessing to whatsoëver shall be used for the recovery of my strength that I may allways praise thee both in prosperitie and adversitie Give thy blessing to the meanes for the nourishment of this child Give it strength that it may live to receave the seale of thy mercy in the laver of Baptisme and doe thou be present with thy blessing when the signe shall be administred Lu 2.52 O let it live if it be thy blessed will and grow up in wisedome and in stature and in grace both with thee and with men that so I may magnifie thy name for making mee an instrument to propagate the number of thine elect who am the weakest and the unworthiest of women Increase thy Kingdome daâ—ly Take pittie upon all that suffer afflictions especially on those women who are in labour of children Give them comfort in the time of their miseries ease from their torments joy in their desired issue and thankfullnesse for thy blessings Lord graunt that both I they may sing praises to thy name for the greatnesse of our deliverances and expresse our thanks in our godly lives that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may sing tryumphantly in eternall glory through Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen 13. THE THIRTEENTH SUBJECT Teares in the time of a generall Pestilence The Soliloquie Consisting of sixe severall parts and treating of 1 Mourning by example in a publike calamitie 2 Severall causes of God's visitations 3 Sinne especially the cause of the Pestilence 4 Severall examples of dreadfull Pestilences 5 God's threatning before his visitation 6 The duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence The first part of the Soliloquie treating of mourning by example in a publike calamitie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe heart of the wise is in the house of mourning Eccl 7.4 saith Solomon but the heart of fooles is in the house of mirth Is the heart then sometimes in a pilgrimage from the body Or is the body required to visit the sick yea though the disease be infectious Or are wee allways by command Ps 42.3 to imitate the Prophet whose teares were his meate day and night The heart indeede is often from home and is least where it liveth most where it loveth The sick must be visited or else my Saviour will complaine as hee doth in the Gospel saying I was sick Mat 25 43. Iob 2.11 and yee visited mee not When Iob's three friends heard of the evill that was come upon him they came every one from his owne place for they had made an appointment together to come to mourne with him and to comfort him vers 13 So they sate downe with him upon the ground 2. King 13.14 and mourned seaven dayes and seaven nights When Elisha was fallen sick of his sicknesse wherewith hee dyed Ioash the King of Israël came downe unto him and wept over his face and said O my father my father the charet of Israel and the horse-men thereof c 8.29 When wicked King Ioram went to be healed in Iezreel of the wounds which the Syrians had given him at Ramah Ahaziah the sonne of heboram King of Iudah went downe to see him in Iezreel because hee was sick Thus doe I reade of a holy Patient visited by friendly mourners a holy Prophet visited by a weeping King a wicked King visited by another as wicked as himselfe All these were visiters or visited but I doe not find that the diseases were infectious Noe I must therfore imitate the best of them in my charitie to others but I may not forget charity to my selfe Willfully to runne into apparent danger is desperately to tempt the keeper of Israel What shall I then doe The passing bells informe mine eares of the mortalitie of my neighbours yet I cannot I must not visit them What I say shall I doe What course shall I take Charitie commandeth mee compassion hasteneth mee to the dying Christians that by my advice or at least by my prayers I might expresse my commiseration And yet when I am just at my doore provided resolved intended to goe even then mine owne health the health of my familie and which is
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
15 that seede fell on this ground this good ground for so I then was and with an honest vers 15 and good heart having heard the word I kept it and brought forth fruit with patience Sure I did I brought forth fruit good fruit or else I am much deceaved But why then Gen 3.18 doe I now lye fallow Why doe I produce nothing but thornes thistles the curse of the earth Heb 6.8 1. Cor. 3.9 Why nothing but thornes briers whose end is to be burned I was in those dayes ah I was Gods husbandrie but since that time hee hath left mee off my ground is growne out of heart quite out of heart for hee would digge mee noe more hee would plough mee noe more hee would soyle mee noe more But what is the cause of his anger Wherfore did hee thus leave mee thus forsake mee Alas the reason is too manifest I would needes take the plough out of his hands I would not suffer him willingly any longer to breake up the fallow ground of my heart Ier 4.3 but I my selfe would plough And what is the effect What is the event thereof Nothing but miserie nothing but woe for I have ploughed wickednesse Hos 10 13. and I have reaped iniquity and eaten the fruit of lyes I would needes follow mine owne wayes Deu 22 10. and plough with an oxe and an asse with thoughts cleane uncleane pure and impure ioyning them together and therfore to my woe I find the words of King Solomon in mee most sadly ve rified Prov. 21.4 Iob 4.8 that the ploughing of the wicked is sinne And yet I ahwretched I doe still follow the plough I plough iniquitie and sow wickednesse and yet for all that I looke not to reape the Same but I expect fondly I expect a harvest of goodnesse a croppe of blessings Ps 129.6 But now I find that those blessings doe wither even before they grow up The mower I find vers 7. cannot fill his hand with them nor hee that bindeth up sheaves his bosome Neither doe they which goe by say vers 8. The blessing of the Lord be upon you wee blesse you in the name of the Lord. Oh if God would but once againe take mee into his care and husbandrie Ps 1.3 I might bring forth good fruit in due season Then though I should goe on my way weeping Ps 126.6 yet I might beare pretious seede come againe with reioycing bringing my sheaves with mee This I might doe if hee would manure mee if hee would dung mee Lord 1. Cor. 4.13 let mee rather be made as the filth of the world the off-scowring of all things then not be manured by thee Make mee to account all things but dung Phil. 3.8 that I may winne thee and that so winning thee I may once againe be in heart that I may have a heart Deu 5.29 even such a heart may be in mee that I may feare thee and keepe all thy commandements illway that it may be well with mee for ever I had once a soft heart like Iob Iob 23.16 Eph. 4.32 2. Chr. 34.27 for God made it soft and the Allmighty troubled mee I had a tender heart apt to forgive a heart that was tender for I humbled my selfe before my God like Iosiah and rent my clothes and wept before him Hee did mollifie it made it fleshie hee tooke the stonie heart out of my flesh Eze 11.19 gave mee an heart of flesh not givē to the flesh to the fowlenesse the filthinesse of the flesh but such a heart of flesh as was flexible soft easie to be pierced I could weepe lament for every sinne for every transgression which I had committed against my good God It was a melting heart it would melt like the hearts of the Babilonians Is 13.7 Ps 22.14 when their destruction was threatned to be effected by the Medes it would melt like waxe in the midst of my bowells And well it might melt for it would burne it would burne within mee like the hearts of the two disciples goeing to Emaus Luc 24 32. yet this heart-burning was noe disease neither but as it was with David when mine heart was hott within mee then in my meditation the fire burned Ps 39.3 And well againe might it melt into teares for it was a mourning heart Eccl 7.4 Io 16.6 it delighted to be in the house of mourning it was full of sorrow as were the hearts of the disciples when Christ had tould them of the persecutions which they should suffer I had greate thoughts of heart Iud 5.15 Ps 119.161 such as were for the divisions of Reuben a heart very awfull for it stood in a we of the word of my God This heart of flesh so soft and tender so mollified and melting so burning so mourning this sorrowfull and thoughtfull heart was so apt for any impression of goodnesse that like unto Solomon I could find in it 2 Sam. 7.27 I could find an aptnes in it to pray unto the Lord. Prov 3.3 It was a writing table God had written mercy and trueth upon the table there of and in more perfect characters too then the Gentiles had Rom 2 15. I could shew the worke of the law written in my heart It was a loving heart Mat 5.43 it would love my neighbour and not hate mine enemies It was a broken heart and allthough 't was broken yet was it whole I could seeke the Lord like Iehosaphat 2 Chr 22.9 with my whole heart Yea this I could doe as Abimelech sayd of himselfe concerning his taking of Sarah Gen 20.5 Ps 119.10 Abraham's wife I could doe it in the integrity of my heart innocency of my hands With this whole heart I could seeke the Lord I could love him I could believe I could praise him Deu 4.29 c 6.5 I could seeke him with all my heart and with all my soule I could love him yea I could love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soule with all my might I could believe as Philip sayd to the Eunuch I could believe Act 8.37 Ps 9.1 even with all my heart I could praise him all so even with David I could praise the Lord with my whole heart Ps 119.80 This whole heart was sound too as David prayed even sound in the statutes of my God that I might not be ashamed This sound heart was single too single even like those good servants whom Saint Paul commandeth to be obedient unto them that are their masters according to the flesh with feare and trembling Ep 6.5 in singlnesse of heart as unto Christ Act 2.46 I could eate my meate with gladnesse Act 2.46 Ps 12.2 and singlnesse of heart It was not then my custome to speake vanitie unto my neighbour to speake with flattering
and seduce ever since hee conquered the first innocent hee shall continue his suggestions so long as men shall continue in the world and yet for all this his time is sayd to be but short for so sayth St Iohn Rev. 12 12. Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and of the sea for the Devill is come downe unto you having greate wrath because hee knoweth hee hath but a short time If his time be short which is much longer then mine what then is mine which is but a moment in comparison of his And yet this moment may be a portall to erernitie if I so behave my selfe as allways proviâ—ing to live eternally But how shall I setle my selfe to be thus provided I would spend my time well but that I account it a sinne to spend my time for if my life be â—ood my time is not spent but gotten I would leade my life in the commandements of my God this I ought to doe but I am not forward to doe it True it is that those which live well may be truely sayd to leade their lives they walke gently therfore surely but those that live ill doe spend their lives they spend them prodigally they consume them â—ainely How then shall I leade my life that I may live for ever Certainly I must not doe as the world doth I must not measure my life by either the length or variety of discourses I must not determine to trifle out an hower in vaine society and purposely addresse my selfe to companies apt to bereave mee of my fleeting time The tongue cannot walke so speedily as the moments can poast I must not therfore instruct my tongue to hasten the howers in vaine discourses for that very hower which I resolve to sacrifice â—n common and sinnfull language may peradventure be the last which God hath â—lotted mee If so it should prove much better it were that I should lay it out in repentance then charge it to my sinfull account which I must suddainly balance Nor may I thinke away my time it must not be worne out by pensive and distracting melancholly such as the Devill is apt to teach and thereto to annexe a kind of delight Noe thought is free but that which is godly Noe melancholly is justifiable but that which proceede's from a penitent sinner Every thought not fixed on goodnesse is but a spurr to hasten the time and an addition to my debts I must therfore enter into my selfe as I doe into my garden I must roote out the weedes the evill and un-hallowed cogitations but cherish the flowers the religious and devoute meditations There is a way so to spend the time as to gaine by the losse so to give it as to to get advantage by the guift and that is by giving or rather by rendering it back to the donour This is done by imploying my litle my speedie time in the service of my God which being done hee will reward mee with eternitie when time shall be forgotten Noe time is better spent then that which is spent in a sorrow for sinne This time therefore which is lent mee I will re-pay back againe in repentance for my sinnes I have knitted up a life but the stitches are false or broken I will therfore ravell it out againe in the exa mination of my errours I have woven up a life full of falsehood and misse-takes but I will unweave the webbe by enquiring into my severall breaches mine enormities I was borne to worke not hereafter but here Lord graunt that whilest I am here Phil. 2.12 I may worke out my saluation with feare and trembling I was borne to runne to runne a race not hereafter but here Lord graunt that whilest I am here I may so runne 1. Cor. 9.24 that hereafter I may obtaine I was borne to contend not hereafter but here Lord graunt that whilest I am here I may so strive that I may get the masterie 2. Tim. 2.5 hereafter obtaine an incorruptible crowne of glory I must worke labour in repentance I must runne in faith I must strive in hope and all this must be done in this litle skantling of time which is measured to mee upon earth Alasse when I shall be snatched away from these earthly imployments noe more time will be allotted mee for either repentance or faith or hope Noe noe If I goe to heaven there I shall have noe neede of repentance If I goe to hell there I shall not have power to repent In heaven both faith and hope shall have their perfect consummation and be turned into knowledg fruition In hell shall be neither faith in Christ nor hope by Christ This life is the time in which I must provide for the life to come O what would not Cain or Iudas or any other of the damned in hell give if yet they had any thing to give for but one of these howers which I trifle away How would they presently fall upon their knees if an hower of repentance were lent unto them and howle cry and teare and roare all they would account too litle if yet they had hopes by repentance to be freed from their torments This I reade and this I cannot choose but believe O what care ought I then to take to spend my whole time in repentance whilest I am here lest hereafter I should have a portion with those impenitent wretches in the land of horrour Whilest I am here I have hope if yet I have grace but if once the sentence be passed there will be noe re-voking it when the soule shall be departed there will be noe returning Eccl 9.4 vers 5. To him say's Solomon that is joyned to all the living there is hope for the living know that they shall dye but the dead know not any thing neither have they any more a reward Every one here is alotted a time to spend in repentance to which they are strongly perswaded eveÌ„ by the remembrance of death but when once they are dead all hope of effectuall godly sorrow is but vaine and as vaine is the hope of mercy for their cryes vers 10 c 11.3 There is noe worke nor device nor knowledg nor wisedome in the grave whither they goe If the tree fall toward the South or toward the North in the place where the tree falleth there it shall be Graunt therfore ô my God that I may seeke thee now whilest thou mayest be found Is 55.6 and call upon thee whilest thou art neere Make mee worship thee here and pray to the here and weepe to thee heere and believe in thee heere and hope in thee here Gal 6.7 Ps 126.5 Mat 29.23 and love thee here for whatsoever I sow that I shall be sure to reape I will therfore sow in prayers and in teares here and then I shall be sure to reape in joy hereafter even to enter into the joy of my Lord. part 3 The third part Of
send out sight of sorrow 1. King 19.11 and the Lord shall be in the wind And with that wind shall be an earth-quake my enlivened earth shall quake with feare of the judgments of my God so the Lord shall be likewise in the earth-quake And with that earth-quake shall be fire vers 12 even the fire of love and zeale together so the Lord shall be in that fire And with that fire shall be a still small voyce and unto the Lord shall that voyce be directed for to him will I looke and pray and say The Prayer All-mighty Lord ever-lasting father who hast beene pleased to vouch safe mee the blessings of this life and to give mee my desires both in a husband and children be pleased to give mee a thankfull heart for these thy mercies It is thy goodnesse and not my merit that I have receaved from thee these blessings of thy bountie Iustly ô most justly mightest thou at once deprive mee of these comforts because I have neglected my obedience to the one and my care of the other Humbly ô my God and with a bleeding heart I confesse my faylings and am sorrie for mine offences Lord be gracious to mee thy servant It is thy hand alone which hath preserved mee from the foule offences which many commit for without thy protection by nature I am noe better then that strange woman Pro 2.17 who forsaketh the guide of her youth and forgetteth the covenant of her God By nature I am carnally worse by farre then were Aholah and Aholibah spiritually who committed whoredomes in their youth Eze 23 3. Lord make mee ever acknowledg this thy protection and testifie my thankfullnesse in my industrious care to performe my dutyes Be thou stil the protectour and the gracious defender both of mee and mine Blesse him whom thou hast sett over mee and graunt that hee may dwell with mee according to knowledg 1. Pet. 3.7 that so wee being heires together of the grace of life our prayers may not be hindered As thou hast made mee a fruitfull vine by the walls of his house so make mee endeavour to be fruitfull in good workes Ps 128.3 Col 1.10 Ps 128 3. Ps 52.8 Prov. 19.14 c 5.18 Ps 141.3 Prov. 11.16 c 12.4 c 14.1 c 31.10 vers 30 and increase to be fruitfull in good Workes and increase in the knowledg of thee my God Let those Olive branches about my table be every one of them like a greene Olive in the house of thee ô my God and trust in thy mercy for ever and ever Make mee to my husband a prudent wife as sent from thee that hee may rejoyce with mee the wife of his youth To this purpose set â watch ô Lord before my mouth and keepe the doore of my lippes Make mee a gracious woman retaining honour that I may be a crowne to my husband a wise woman labouring to build up my house and familie and a vertuous woman fearing thee Heare mee ô my God and graunt mee my petitions for the worthinesse of him who is an indulgent husband to his Spouse the Church even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 10 THE TENTH SUBJECT Teares of an Aged woman The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe dayes of our age are three-score yeeres and ten Ps 90.10 saith David and if by reason of strength they be foure-score yeeres yet is their strength labour and sorrow for it is soone cut off and wee flee away Lord how true diddest thou speake by the mouth of that Prophet True I find it who have now accomplished the number of so many yeeres My strength is labour not because of any paines which I take but onely by reason of the paines which I suffer Age hath beene allwayes freed from worke because it suffereth more in a languishing weakenesse then the young and lustie doe in their travells Num 8 24. From twentie and five yeeres old and upward the Levites were required to wayte upon the service of the Tabernacle of the congregation vers 25 And from the age of fiftie yeeres they were to cease wayting upon the service thereof and to serve noe more God will have the best of our time yea all for his service But alasse the custome is too common among us to serve our selves at least untill fiftie and it may be then or not so soone wee thinke upon God But why should wee not rather render the yeeres of our strength to the God of our strength Ps 43.2 The fault which I complaine of is too frequent among others but can I excuse my selfe from the guilt thereof I now beginne to thinke upon the service of my God when through age I am noe more able to serve my selfe Every thing disturbeth and tormenteth my aged limbes even my very apparell becometh a burden O why doe people so fondly desire to live to be aged Have the gray haires delight or the parched and dryed body any pleasure Alasse noe I find it hath not This this is the time which the Preacher speaketh of Eccl 12.2 Now the Sunne and the light and the moone and the starres are darkened and the clowdes returne after the raine The beautie of the countenance which shined like the Sunne the skiecolloured eyes the apples of those eyes which sparkeled like the Starres are growen dimme and obscure The eye-lidds are filled with waters like a swollen cloude labouring in the deliverie of it's mournefull burden Pleasures and delights and joyes and merriments have now with-drawne the lustre of their glory and paines and dolours and griefes and sadnesse have benighted my feeble and crazie body Now the keepers of the house tremble vers 3. and the strong men bowe themselves and the grinders cease because they are few and those that looke out of the windowes be darkened My knees which were the supporters of this walking dust begin to creeckle and tremble under their oppressing burden Mine armes and hands have forgotten their stedfastnesse and quake and faint in the execution of their just commands The teeth which prepared the meate for the stomack are fled away from their narrow chambers and left the open doores the hollow gummes in trust to mock my desires Those eyes which once could dazell the spectatours sate proudly in their thrones darting their rayes upon their desired objects have now the curtaines of age drawne over their flames and the vayle of antiquitie eclipseth their glory Now the doores are shut in the streetes vers 4. and the sound of the grinding is lowe and here is rising up at the voyce of the bird and the daughters of musick are brought low My feete are afflicted with lamenesse that they cannot any longer carie mee into the streetes The sound of the grinding
may passe from miferie to eternall happinesse Heare Lord have mercy both upon mee and mine and graunt my petitions for the worthinesse of that most mercifull and most blessed sonne of a woman thine onely begotten Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen soliloquy 2 2. ly Teares of a woman after her deliverie from the paines of Child-birth The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Woman Io 16.21 when shee is in travell hath sorrow because her hower is come but as soone as shee is delivered of the child she remembreth noe more her anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world O how truely doeth my heavenly Iesus describe both his mercy and my comfort I who ere while was full of anguish and teares am now with comfort brought againe to my bed I who had allmost despaired of mercy in the midst of my sufferances have found a deliverer Mee think's I could weepe because I wept so much and grieve because my cryes did savour of distrust Many teares did I shed through the anguish which I suffered but have I none left of sorrow for offending in my pangs I will begge for pardon at the hands of him who sent mee this ease and then I will thanke him for his bountie in sending mee this child Prettie infant the beginning of his cryes was the end of mine and the beginning of his trouble was the end of my labour O how did I long to see him whom I now embrace How did I wish to be delivered of him whom yet againe I receave Hee is parted from my wombe to be caried in mine armes and he who before was the burden of my bowells now is made the delight of mine eyes Now with a greater comfort I hope then the first sinner embraced the first that ever was borne I may rejoyce and say I have gotten a man from the Lord. Gen 4.1 1. Chr 4.9 Gen 35.18 True it is that I might call him a Iabez because I bare him with sorrow I might name him Ben oni because hee was the sonne of mine affliction and sorrowes but I will rather with Iacob call him Benjamin the sonne of my right hand O how gratious was my God unto mee in that hee sent mee a mid-wife to helpe mee neighbours to comfort mee a house to cover mee a fire to warme mee and now a bed to ease mee The mother of my Lord had not an house but a stable onely Lu 2.7 for there was noe roome in the Inne Her holy child was layed but in a manger whereas mine is in a cradle yet I am wicked I am sinfull and uncleane yea and this babe is not borne without originall pollution But I will begge of the Lord that with Simeon I may take up my Iesus in mine armes vers 28 or rather in my heart and I will beseech him that as I desire to embrace him in my soule so hee will embrace mee in the armes of his mercy Mee think's when I remember how hardly the Israëlites were used by the Egyptians when the midwives were commanded to slay the males Ex 1.16 I cannot choose but tremble at the miseries of the women It might seeme a sinne in them to desire sonnes seeing they knew that their birth was but a stepp to their graves Those mercifull hands which brought them into the world were commanded to be the executioners of the innocent babes The women were to be as cruell in their murders as the King was in his commands and yet such bloody acts were to be called executions and not styled murders They had a command to put in practise what was so horrid and barbarous whereupon they were perplexed to thinke that either they must necessarily disobey authoritie or else destroy those who had not offended It is true that if God had commanded it the act had beene righteous Gen. 22 2. Abraham not onely may but must be the priest to sacrifice his sonne his onely sonne Isaak when God requireth it But if God forbiddeth what man commandeth wee must be more ready to suffer then to obey those commands When wee dare not doe what wee are unjustly commanded wee must dare to suffer what shall be unjustly inflicted on us O how grievously was Iochebed perplexed in her miseries Ex 2.3 when for feare lest her Moses should be slaine according to the decree shee was enforced to expose him to the brinke of the river That child whom shee could noe longer hide shee was faine to cradle up in an arke of bull-rushes Thus shee who durst not keepe her infant adventured upon a trade which shee never had learned but her directour was his preserver Surely the teares which shee shed for feare of his death did perswade the river to carie him alive for shee so bribed the torrent with the droppes from her eyes that it tooke more compassion then the heart of the tyrant One word of that King might have saved at once both her sorrowes and her feares Mee think 's the very river might have taught him to melt for his cruelty but where grace is wanting every thing that should check the petulancie of sinne doe's but give vigour to the execution thereof There was a sorrowfull mother weeping for feare of the death of him who might peradventure have cost her her life and there was a child too crying as if it had beene either sensible of the cruelty of the salvage tyrant or else struck with compassion for the tender mother The cryes of both were so lowd and so just that they pierced the clowdes and were heard up to heaven and the daughter of the King was moved to save what her father in his fury did seeke to destroy The child was found by Pharaoh's daughter and ignorantly as well as compassionately shee put him to nurse to his indulgent mother O what cannot God doe when hee decreeth to act His justice is severe and potent Ps 145 9. but his mercy which is over all his workes is full of goodnesse and wonder Hee who preserved Moses hath saved this infant and I hope hee hath chosen him for a vessell of honour Zacharias was promised that hee should have joy and gladnesse in Iohn the Baptist Luc. 1.14 I will hope for the like in this new-borne babe and I will begge of my Lord that hee may be beloved of him Him I must magnifie for the deliverance of my selfe and him I must thanke both for the shape the life of my child My wombe might have proved the grave of mine infant and my selfe the sepulcher of a child unseene I might have dyed in the birth of this which I embrace and the litle infant ignorant of my cryes might unwittingly have beene the destroyer of his mother Or else I might have lived
the throne of my God Be sure thou doest it for I will have a watch over my mouth and at the doores of my lipps that I may be certaine thou offend nor As for the rest of my selfe since I cannot stay now to give every part a charge in particular I shall command them onely to attend the pleasure of my royall guest Onely my thoughts I must commit to the tuition of my heart allthough it formerly hath beene false unto mee and desirous I am that they may be pressed pressed downe with greate and heavie burdens But I charge thee ô my Heart if ever thou hopest to be mine owne deere Heart that thou suffer not an imagination not a thought to come neere thee but what shall be commended unto thee by religion and what thou shalt dispatch to thy Maker And now I am prepared for thee Wellcome ô my God If my roomes are not cleane enough for thee I must intreate from thee both direction and assistance to cleanse then If any dust of wickednesse hath flowne about in the sweeping of them I will now give my mind to wash my chambers with the teares of mine eyes and that I know thou delightest in O thrice well-come blessed God Wellcome ô well-come my deerest Redeemer O how truely did the Kingly preacher affirme that Eccl 7.2 It is better to goe to the house of mourning then to goe to the house of feasting for that is the end of all and the living will lay it to heart My house is shut up indeede it is shut up for the infection for feare of the infection for feare lest others should infect my familie or for feare lest my familie should be insectious to others But what of all that I am not the first that ever was shut up I am not the onely one that ever was shut up Lev 13 4. vers 5. The Leper in the law was to be shut up seaven dayes and at the seaven dayes end when the Priest looked on him if the plague in his sight were at a stay and spreaded not in the skinne hee was to shut him up yet seaven dayes more This shutting up was rather for his cure then intended for his hurt Gen 7.16 Noah was sayd to be shut up in the Arke but it was for his preservation and so may I be likewise Ieremiah was shut up too Ier. 32.2 yea in a prison allthough his jayle was the house of the King and yet even at that time hee was visited by the best by one better then the King even by God himselfe for hee often spake to him in the time that hee was shut up c 33.1 Thus am I shut up even in a prison made of my dwelling I hope that my God will speake comfortably unto mee I will hope that hee hath shut mee up as a jewell in a cabinet in his care in his tender compassion If so I am sure that noe evill shall come in unto mee for hee is holy hee is true hee is powerfull who hath mee in keeping Reu 3.7 Hee hath the key of David hee openeth and noe man shutteth and hee shutteth and noe man openeth True it is that sometimes hee shutteth out as when hee shutteth out from his eares the prayers of his people Thus the faithfull complaine by the mouth of the Prophet Lam 3 8. When I cry and showte hee shutteth out my prayers Sometimes hee shutteth up and that in judgment too as Hee shutteth up the eyes of idolaters Is 44.18 that they cannot see and their hearts that they cannot understand And sometimes man shutteth too even when hee is forsaken of God for so saith the wise King A violent man shutteth his eyes to devise froward things Prov 16.30 And againe God is sayd sometimes in judgment to shut up even heaven it selfe as in a time of drought Therfore Moses adviseth the Israëlites saying Deut 11.16 Take heede to your selves that your heart be not deceaved and yee turne aside and serve other Gods and worship them vers 17 And then the Lord's wrath be kindled against you and hee shut up the heaven that there be noe raine and that the land yeeld not her fruit and lest yee perish quickly from off the good land which the Lord giveth you But sure I am that allthough hee should shut mee up in judgment yet hee whose compassions faile not Lam 3.22 Hab 3.2 vers 5. in the midst of judgment will remember mercy I know that in former times hee hath beene angry and then before him went a Pestilence and burning coales went forth at his feete I know that once when the people of Israel had offended then the sword was without Eze 7.15 and the Pestilence and the famine within hee that was in the field was threatned that hee should die with the sword and hee that was in the citty famine and Pestilence should devoure him I know that Elijah Prophesied against Iehoram in writing saying 2. Chr 21.12 Thus saith the Lord Because thou hast not walked in the wayes of Iehoshaphat thy father nor in the wayes of Asa King of Iudah vers 14 Behould with a greate plague will the Lord smite thy people and thy children and thy wives and all thy goods vers 15 And thou shalt have greate sicknesse by disease of thy bowells untill thy bowells fall out by reason of the sicknesse day by day Iob 11.10 And I know allso that if hee cut off and shut up or gather together none can hinder him But what then What though hee hath shut mee up Shall I therfore rage and rave like one distracted c. 30.29 vers 30 What though I am a sister to Dragons and a companion to Owles VVhat though my skinne should be black upon mee and my bones be burnt up with heate c. 3.3 Should I therfore cry Let the day perish wherein I was borne and the night in which it was sayd There is a child conceaved O noe I will rather resolve with afflicted Iob Though hee slay mee yet will I trust in him c. 13.15 Why should I offer to be dismayed That God which dwelleth in the heavens hath taken up my house and is come to sojourne with mee upon earth I will speake in the phrase of a King But will God indeede dwell on the earth 1. King 8.27 Behold the heaven and heaven of heavens cannot conteine thee how much lesse this house of mine which thou now doest visit O what a happinesse it is to have God for our visitant Though hee cometh in wrath yet is hee well-come O let mee have my God any way rather then not have him at all If hee should not sometimes be angry with mee I should suspect that hee loved mee not but if for ever hee should be angry with mee I should feele that hee loved mee not Hee is never angry with mee but when I am not angry with my selfe I will
be as constant in my prayers as the man â—as constant in his attendance at the poole At â—y gate ô Christ I must I doe continually â—e Thy blood ô Iesus is the onely Bethesda â—r my distressed soule Lord leade mee into â—…at poole of blood by the hand of faith and then I shall not distrust the effect of that â—ver O cleanse my soule and then I shall willingly submit to thy pleasure for my body But still ô still my paines increase and my flesh consume's I pray and I begge and I beseech and yet I find noe ease noe reliefe The continuance of my sicknesse doe's but â—each mee the ignorance of the Physitians or â—he deadnesse of the druggs and potions I am dyeted and I am physicked and my body is become the very shop of an Apothecarie and yet I find noe ease noe comfort 'T is true that thirtie and eight yeares continuance of a maladie hindered not Christ from curing with a word But if it had remained longer could hee have done the like Yes surely why not Hee himselfe could as well have dooâ— that as have given power to his Apostles tâ— restore the Criple who had beene fortie yeaâ—… lame This was done by Peter and Iohn for the man that was above fortie yeares ould Act 14 22. c 3.2 and had beene lame from his mother's wombe even on him was shewed this miracle of healing I may hope for some favour too from the hands of my God for though to mee it might appeare allmost a miracle that I should recore yet with God it is as easily effected by a word as was the greate creation of heaven and earth I will therfore submit to his pleasure and 〈◊〉 upon his goodnesse Hee is a God of mercy an tender compassion hee is the greate Physitia both of soule and body hee hath allways delighted in acts of charitie It was his promise upon some conditions to heale a whoâ—… land 2. Chr 7.14 for his owne words are If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seeke my face and turnâ— from their wicked wayes then will I heare from heaven and will forgive their sinne and wiâ—… heale their land I am one of the people ô Christ that is called by thy name for a Christian I am though a sinfull and a feeble Christian and thou hast humbled mee with this thy visitation and grace thou hast given mee I blesse the for it to humble my selfe in the consideration of mine iniquities and to pray and to seâ—… thy face Lord perfect thy good workes and make mee turne from mine iniquities and then heare mee from heaven and forgive my sinne and if it may stand with thy eternall decree heale thy servant Hee hath likewise shewed his mercy even in healing of waters 2. King 2.21 for his Prophet Elisha went forth to the spring of un-wholesome waters and cast salt in there and said Thus saith the Lord I have healed these waters there shall not â—e from thence any more death or barren land So the waters were healed vers 22 according to the saying of Elisha the Prophet Lord I have waters too that require thy helpe for they are un-wholesome they are sinfull I weepe and I lament my teares runne downe on my cheekes Lam. 1.2 and all either with extreamitie of anguish or feare of death or despaire of thy power to restore mee to health few of them are for my sinnes few of them for my transgressions But some hope I have that thou wilt likewise heale these waters for allready thou hast cast some salt into them I find by my tast that they are brackish that they are brinish Lord let mee be noe longer a barren land but make mee fruitfull in good works Col 1.10 Ps 1.3 that I may be like unto a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruite in due season and then though this leafe for a time may faile though the flower of my body may be cropped or mowed for the harvest yet I know that my Redeemer will not cast it into the fire but will make it spring up hereafter in eternall glory Hee hath allso healed the persons of diverse of his people Ps 107.20 for so saith the Psalmist Hee sent his word and healed them delivered them froÌ„ their destructions Is 19.22 So Isaiah prophesieth concerning Egypt saying The Lord shall smite Egypt hee shall smite and heale it and they shall returne even to the Lord and hee shall be intreated of them and shall heale them O what comfortable words were these to Egypt Hee may if hee please cheere mee up allso with the like for hee hath allready smitten mee and in his loving kindnesse hee hath so sanctified this affliction that by it hee hath made mee to returne unto him O Lord now if it be thy pleasure be thou intreated of mee heale mee This God is the same God who speaketh by the mouth of Moses and saith See now that I Deut 32.39 even I am hee and there is noe God with mee I kill and I make alive I wound and I heale neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand This is the same Lord whom Hannah did magnifie in her thankfull Song and said The Lord killeth and maketh alive hee bringeth downe to the grave 1. Sam. 2.6 and bringeth up This is the same God of whom Iob his servant professeth and boasteth saying Hee maketh sore Iob. 5.18 and bindeth up hee woundeth and his hands make whole This is the same Lord VVhom David commandeth his soule to magnifie and saith Ps 103 1. vers 2. Blesse the Lord ô my soule and all that is within mee blesse his holy name Blesse the Lord ô my soule and forget not all his benefits Who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseafes vers 3. and who redeemeth thy life from destruction vers 4. this God is the same God who alone hath power over soule body can if hee pleaseth preserve them both Hee it is whose mercies were promised to his Church when by his Prophet hee said The light of the Moone shall be as the light of the Sunne Is 30.26 and the light of the Sunne shall bee seaven fold as the light of seaven dayes in the day that the Lord bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Hee it is who giveth such Euangelicall promises to penitent Iudah and saith I have seene his wayes and will heale him c 57.18 I will leade him allso and restore comforts to him and to his mourners I create the fruite of the lipps peace peace to him that is farre off vers 19 and to him that is neere saith the Lord and I will heale him This is hee who inviteth Israel to come unto him and saith Returne yee back-sliding Children and I will heale your backsliding
learne to depend upon God Some things wee thinke wee can certainly foresee consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are meerely naturall but yet wee often faile in our expectations either through the defect of reason or the indisposition and weakenesse of the second causes or else yea and most chiefely by the order of the Most High Yet some are so fond as to magnifie their reason and thereupon ground a necessitie of events not well considering that Allthough this reason obligeth men yet it tyeth not him who is farre above both reason and nature Some againe in their curiositie prying too neerely into things to come borrow their assistance from the Prince of the ayer accounting their knowledg an excellency not tyed to the lawes of religion Thus did that wicked King Ahazia but contrarie to his expectation hee receaved an answer from a Prophet of the Lord vers 6. for Elijah said unto him Thus saith the Lord Therfore thou shalt not come downe from that bed on which thou art gone up but shalt surely dye O what a dreadfull sentence was this Especially to him who sought to the Devill that lyer for his knowledg but receaved such an answer from God who could not deceave Thus am I gone up to my bed too as was that bruised King I am tormented with sicknesse and I languish in a disease O what shall I doe Faine mee thinks I would be certified how long I have to live faine I would live Ps 39.4 and yet I am not certaine of life I am not readie for death and yet I am heartily afraid that I shall find this death too readie for mee But why should I not dye Am I not disturbed with heates and colds with weakenesse and feeblenesse Am I not in a world that giveth noe content That can neither bound my desires nor yet afford what I seeke While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment When I shall be gone this faintnesse and weakenesse these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weake and infirme body But what then When my body shall sleepe in the silent grave shall it continue there for ever Or shall the soule have a decay and yeald to corruption together with my body of clay and earth Noe noe nothing lesse The body shall indeede lye downe in the dust but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise againe but the soule is eternall it shall continue for ever For ever it shall rest in continuall peace or for ever it shall be tormented in ever-lasting flames Noe merveile then ô my sorrowfull soule that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh since thou knowest not whither thou shalt flye at thy departure But why should not I as well hope for felicitie as dread those torments when my life shall end Doe I aske Why The reason is too plaine What good can I expect from the hands of him whom I have never loved whom I have never obeyed Those whom hee crowneth with heavenly blisse are they who sought for it in a miserable life But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue and I have made choyce of this world for the seate of my happinesse But now alas to my woe I find that earth can neither afford any true content nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good What now shall I doe O whither shall I betake my selfe that I may be partaker of those joyes which are the inheritance of the godly Num. 23.10 Faine I would dye the death of the righteous and I wish that my last end might be like unto his But is this a desire easie to be graunted Alas had I lived the life of the righteous I might then have beene sure I should have dyed the death of them But that ô that is it which pricketh mee at the heart I have lived in sensualitie and this evill day hath beene out of my remembrance so that I cannot comfort my selfe with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet But what then Is there noe remedie at all but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell God forbid Hee who hath forborne mee so long when I went on in my wickednesse may yet if hee please afford mee his mercy It is not above his power nor will it eclipse his glory It was once his free promise to a thiefe even dying upon the crosse Lu 23.43 2. Cor. 1.20 This day shalt thou be with mee in paradise His promises allso are sure they are in him yea and in him Amen I doubt not therfore but his mercy was as greate as his word was sure Thus hee saved one which forbiddeth mee despairing yet it was but one which forbiddeth mee presuming But surely it can be noe presumption to build upon his goodnesse Hee delighteth not in the death of a sinner What good can the condemning of mee doe either to him or his creatures True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it but yet it will adde noe glory to his mercy Againe there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his praises but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies In heaven mee think's there is one too few untill I shall come thither to adde to the number In hell mee think's there would be one too many if I should be throwne into that gulfe of perdition O my God since thou hast vouchsafed mee the knowledg of a heaven yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth allthough my knowledg be imperfect thou art offended yet for the merits of thy Sonne be pleased to make mee a cittizen of heaven Rev 21 27. It is most true that there shall in noe wise enter into that place any thing that defileth neither whatsoëver worketh abomination or maketh a lye but they onely which are written in the Lamb's booke of life Upon these termes my hopes indeede doe languish and grow more faint then my feeble body But who is that which condemneth the wicked Is it not hee who likewise calleth the wicked and inviteth them to mercy Is it not hee who telleth mee by his Prophet and saith it himselfe Eze 18 21. If the wicked will turne from all his sinnes that hee hath committed and keepe all my statutes Vers 22 doe that which is lawfull and right hee shall surely live hee shall not dye All his transgressions that hee hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him vers 23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should dye Saith the Lord God and not that hee should returne from his wayes and live O who is more wicked then I Who more sinfull then I My life hath beene nothing but a continued rebellion and my time hath beene wasted in nothing but disobedience Yet while I have life I have hope If I can but know mine iniquities and get a sorrowfull spirit for them
and rent my heart and amend my life Ioël 2.13 and faithfully rely upon the passion of my Redeemer I may then assure my selfe that hee will correct mee with judgment Ier 10 24. and not in his anger I know that dye I must but in him I earnestly desire to dye When I was in health I thought not of mortalitie and therfore now I am in sicknesse I can skarce so much as hope for immortalitie But I will beseech him to spare mee a litle that I may repent Ps 39.13 before I goe hence and be noe more seene I faine would live not that I might adde to my sinnes but that I might be sorrie for my sinnes I would faine continue here a litle longer that so I might make my peace the surer Long I have continued in wickednesse ô my God spare mee a litle time to spend in contrition If I may enjoy my life but for a litle longer space I will resolve by the grace of my God to dedicate it wholly to the service of him and that I may in some measure make up my repentance before my departure I will beseech him if it may stand with his immutable decree to lend mee a litle more time wherein by his grace I may labour my reconciliation with him My time of death indeede seemeth to draw nigh and yet I doe not consider or at least I have not considered that all this time which I have lived I have beene truely dead Surely thus I have beene for so saith King Solomon Prov. 21.16 The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remaine in the congregation of the dead Thus have I beene dead even in trespasses and sinnes justly therfore now my life doeth hasten away Eph 2.1 and my death approacheth I am now layed upon my bed of sorrow Not as the un-chast Amnon was 2. Sam. 13.5 who lingered after an un-cleane enjoying of his sister Tamar onely counterfeiting a sicknesse Nor like the coveteous Ahab 1. King 21.4 who vexed himselfe because Naboth had denyed to sell him his vine-yard 2. Sam. 4.7 Nor like Ishbosheth ready to be slaine by a Rechab and a Baanah unlesse my sinnes and my sicknesse the effect of my sinnes be that Rechab and that Baanah But languishing I lye allmost despairing of recoverie by reason of the weakenesse of my neere consumed body and spirits through the sharpnesse of my disease Is 14.11 My pompe is even brought downe to the grave and the noise of my violls the worme is spread under mee and the wormes are ready to cover mee But let mee say with holy Iob Iob 10 20. Are not my dayes few Cease then ô my God and let mee alone that I may take comfort a litle vers 21 Before I goe whence I shall not returne even to the land of darknesse and the shadow of death A land of darknesse vers 22 as darknesse it selfe and the shadow of death without any order and where the light is as darknesse There is noe worke nor device Eccl. 9.10 Ps 6.5 knowledg nor wisedome in the grave whither I am goeing In death there is noe remembrance of thee ô my God in the grave who shall give thee thank 's Ps 115.17 Is 38.18 The dead praise not thee ô Lord neither any that goe downeinto silence The grave cannot praise thee death cannot celebrate thee they that goe downe into the pit cannot hope for thy trueth vers 19 The living onely the living hee shall praise thee the father to the children shall make knowne thy trueth Thou thy selfe hast professed that thou art not a God of the dead Matt 22.32 Ps 88.10 vers 11 but of the living wilt thou then shew wonders to the dead Shall the dead arise and praife thee Shall thy loving kindnesse be declared in the grave Or thy faithfullnesse in destruction vers 12 Shall thy wonders be knowne in the darke And thy righteousnesse in the land of forgetfullnesse Consider then Ps 13.3 Ps 69.15 and heare mee ô Lord my God lighten mine eyes that I sleepe not in death Let not the water-flood over-flow mee neither let the deepe swallow mee up and let not the pit shut her mouth upon mee Heare mee ô Lord vers 16 for thy loving kindnesse is good turne unto mee according to the multitude of thy tender mercies 1. Sam 2.6 Thou art hee who doest both kill and make alive who bringest downe to the grave 2. King 4.20 bringest up againe When the Shunamite's child had sate on his mother's knees untill noone vers 21 it then departed but shee went up and layed him on the bed of the man of God vers 32 and shut the doore upon him and went out And when Elisha was come into the house behold the child was dead and laid upon his bed vers 33 hee went in therfore and shut the doore upon them twaine and prayed unto thee my greate and powerfull God vers 35 And the child neezed seaven times and the child opened his eyes Mat 9.18 When the ruler of the Synagogue worshipped my Saviour and sayd My daughter is even now dead but come and lay thine hand upon her and shee shall live vers 25 Then hee went in and tooke her by the hand and the mayd arose O my God to thee I submit my selfe doe with mee as thou pleasest In thy power it is to spare mee for a while It will not be harder for thee to restore mee to health then it was to restore the dead unto life Faine I would live longer that I may repent more Lord if it be thy pleasure adde yet some more dayes unto my life restore mee to health and make mee praise thee for thy mercies Longer I would not live unlesse thou shalt be pleased with my life to renew mine obedience and yet dye I would not unlesse thou shalt first be pleased to give mee a sense of my sinnes and a sorrow upon that sense and a comfortable and contenting joy upon that sorrow Thou art the potter and I am the clay allready thou hast made mee and it is now in thy power either to breake mee into sheards or to preserve mee whole I who have cryed so much in the extreamitie of mine anguish doe now beseech thee with my teares to spare mee Mat. 8.8 O speake the word onely and thy servant shall be healed But yet howsoëver I submit to thine owne good pleasure Lord if it may be thy will let the skill of my Phisitians and the power of my medicines and whatsoëver shall be administred unto mee take a blessing from thee if thou shalt restore mee againe to thee and to thy service will I devote my life My time shall be thine my dayes thine my thoughts my words and mine actions thine So shall thy mercy be magnified and thy praise I will be for ever singing and will
order unto him and in obedience to his commands I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love him with the same affection as my selfe For his sake for whom I love my selfe even for God's For the same reason as my selfe even for grace conferred in this life present and for a certaine hope of eternall glory in the life to come In the same order as my selfe which shall be above the world but inferiour to my God Vpon the same ground as myselfe even because of the image of God imprinted in him and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse lastly as long as myselfe even from the beginning unto the end untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive my sad and sorrowfull soule And that my brethren my neighbours may be the better assured of my love which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe Heb 4.14 and that it may be knowne that through the grace of my God I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same without leaning either to prophanesse atheisme superstition or any other errour or heresie and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end in the end I will therfore cheerefully faithfully and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe and say I beleeve in God the Father Allmighty Maker of heaven and earth and in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord which was conceived by the holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified dead and buried hee descended into hell the third day hee rose againe from the dead hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father All-mighty from thence hee shall come to judg the quick and the dead I beleeve in the holy Ghost the holy Catholike Church the Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen Thus I believe Lord helpe my un-beliefe Mar. 9.24 Eph. 4.14 and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lie in wayt to deceave vers 15 but that speaking and believing this trueth in love I may grow up unto him in all things which is the head even Christ my Redeemer And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes and continue in love and persevere in the faith and submit to his good pleasure I will with a bended heart and a sorrowfull spirit and weeping eyes pray unto him and say exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick FAther of mercies Lord of life thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble Ps 6.2 have mercy upon mee Ps 143.4 for I am weake and my heart with in mee is desolate A sinner I am I must confesse it not deserving thy mercy a fowle a grievous sinner I am who have disobeyed thy statutes and broken all thy commandements and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee My conscience check's mee and my sinnes testifie against mee and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee O Lord be thou my protectour and my gracious father Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased Io 16.23 and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee doe thou comfort mee in these my trpâ—… and afflictions Ps 60.11 o be thou my helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man To thee I cry to thee I come with a panting heart with a sorrowfull soule with an humble spirit I have sinned ô I have sinned and done amisse and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to bind up their wounds be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony Ps 143.6 in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes To thee Ps 143.6 and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee ô Lord that soone for my spirit waxeth faint hide not thy face from mee lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction O let not these teares be refused nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely My selfe I abhorre Iob 42.6 and repent in dust and ashes my workes I disclaine for I know their unworthinesse on thee alone ô my Iesus I wholly depend and by thee alone I hope for remission Be thou my Iesus be thou my Saviour Cure mee by thy wounds heale mee by thy stripes ease mee by thy torments comfort mee by thine agonie refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat revive mee by thy death and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world present mee to thy father in the robe of thy righteousnesse Ps 94.13 Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure rely upon thy mercy be thankfull for thy chastisement and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection This sicknesse for ought I know may be unto death but in thee I trust it shall be a passage unto life If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation howsoever be pleased ô my father for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death Let mee be found of thee in peace 2. Pet 3 14. Hab 3.2 Is 9.13 Iob. 3.25 Mich 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps 119.175 that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy Vnto thee I turne for thou hast smitten mee and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee My body thou
destruction nor the threatned fall nor thy resisting us nor Sodom's ruine Lord forgive this iniquity amongst us and give us now such humble hearts Ps 75.6 that wee may noe more set our hornes on high nor speake with stiffe necks for why Thou ô God art the judg vers 8. thou puttest downe one and settest up another Wee are taught ô thou just God of truth Prov. 11.1 that a false ballance is abhomination unto thee but a just weight is thy delight and wee know that thou didst question by thy Prophet saying Mic 6.11 Shall I count them pure with the wicked ballances and with the bagg of deceitfull weights vers 10 Are there not in Ierusalem and Samaria the treasures of wickednesse in the house of the wicked and the skant measure which is aboâ—minable Yea and wee know that thou doâ—… stricktly forbid Deut 25.14 vers 13 vers 15 saying Thou shalt not have iâ— thine house diverse measures a greate and 〈◊〉 small thou shalt not have in thy bagge diversâ— weights a greate and a small but thou shalâ— have a perfect and just weight a perfect and just measure shalt thou have that thy dayes may be lengthened in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee And yet for all this the same complaint may be made against many of us Ier 6.13 which was against Iudah wee are given to coveteousnesse and wee dealt falsly Iustly therfore ô most righteous judg thou mayst question us as thou didst the Iewes and say c 7.9 vers 10 will yee steale murder commâ— adulterie and sweare falsly and come and stand before mee in my house which is called by my name and say wee are delivered 〈◊〉 doe all these abominations O thou that art the easer of the oppressed thou God of compassionate bowells to thee are allso knowne both the deceaver and the oppressour walking hand in hand among us Surely thou hast seene it Ps 10.15 for thou behouldest ungodlinesse and wrong therfore thou callest Amos. 8.4 vers 5 saying Heare this ô yee that swallow up the needy even to make the poore of the land to faile saying when will the Sabbath be gone that wee may set forth wheate making the Ephah small and the Shekel greate and falsifying the ballance by deceit vers 6. that wee may buy the poore for silver and the needy for a paire of shooes Yea ô thou that makest inquisition for blood and forgettest not the complaint of the poore to thee wee must confesse that with the deceitfull is joyned allso among us even the bloody murderer allthough wee are well assured that the blood-thirstie and deceitfull man shall not live out halfe his dayes Ps 55.25 Yea Lord thou God of justice thou mayest allso complaine of us as thou didst of the Iewes Is 59.4 and say that few or none among us calleth for justice or pleadeth for truth wee trust in vanity and speake lyes wee conceave mischiefe and bring forth iniquity Hos 4.2 By swearing and lying and killing and stealing and committing adulterie the people breake out and blood toucheth blood Therfore doth our land mourne vers 3. and every one that dwelleth therein doth languish Thus ô thus wickedly thus contemptuously Iud 10 15. thus outragiously yea and many more and worse though closer wayes have wee sinned o Lord doe thou unto us whatsoever in thy mercy seemeth good unto thee For these Ier. 50.4 and for all other our private and publike our secret and our open our particular and our generall crimes I besiech thee o father of mercies to graunt that I and all the people of the land may goe weeping as once did the children of Israel and of Iudah Lord be reconciled unto us in the blood of that Lamb of thine who taketh away the sinns of the world Cause us all now in this time of our visitation to learne vers 5. and aske the way to Sion with our faces thitherward saying Come let us joyne our selves unto the Lord in a perpetuall covenant that shall not be broken Amos. 7.2 Dan. 9.19 Ioel. 2.21 vers 26 O Lord God forgive us I beseech thee by whom Shall Iacob arise For hee is small O Lord heare ô Lord forgive o Lord hearken and doe it so shall wee be sure that thou wilt doe greate things Cause us once againe to eate in plenty be satisfied praise thy name o Lord our God when thou hast dealt thus wonderously with us and wee shall never be ashamed Ier. 29.11 O let thy thoughts be thoughts of peace towards us and not of evill Wee should o my God 1. Pet. 3 8. wee should have loved one another as brethren and should have beene pittyfull and courteous but to our shame I must acknowledg with a sad and a broken heart that wee have beene more ready to bite and devoure one another Gal. 5.15 and therfore now are wee justly consumed one of another It is most just with thee o thou sin-revenging God thus to visit our offences with the rod Ps 89.32 our sinns with scourges Vnnaturall have beene our crimes therfore unnaturall are likewise our punishments Ps 37.15 for our swords doe goe thorow our owne hearts and wee our selves are become the destroyers of our selves O eternall mercy O eternall goodnesse be thou gratiously pleased I beseech thee to give us a true sight sense and feeling of these and all other our faylings and back-slidings give us hearty remorse contrition and sorrow for them all together with a stedfast resolution of new obedience yea and so strengthen us in these our pious resolutions and so enable us to the performance of the same yea so sanctifie us throughout that our whole spirits and soules bodies may be kept blamelesse unto the comeing of our Lord and Saviour Iesus Christ Thou hast threatned that If a man will not turne Ps 7.13 thou will whet thy sword this long time thou hast bent thy bowe thou hast prepared for us vers 14 and brought among us the instruments of death and hast ordained thine arrowes against thy persecuters Yet Lord thou art yesterday and to day and the same for ever The same father of mercies and God of all consolation Remember therfore I beseech thee how gratious thou wert to the people of Iudah to whom thou sentest thy Prophet to speake Ier. 26.3 If so be they would hearken and turne every man from his evill way that thou mightest repent thee of the evill which thou didst purpose to doe unto them because of the evill of their doeings O Lord doe thou rent our hearts in thy mercy and make us turne from our evill wayes that thou mayst repent thee of the evill of our punishments Make us turne unto thee with 〈◊〉 our hearts Ioel 2.12 with fasting and with weeping and with mourning Ex 32.12 and then turne thou from thy