dear Relations in their sickness I have seen them sick weak and full of pain I have seen their cold sweats their mortal tremblings and heard their last and dying groans and now it 's my turn to be sick and my time to die Die how hard and difficult a work is this of what great concern and everlasting importance Die who does or can know what it imports but those who are dead and gone I thought it hard to see my Friend my Father my Mother dye but shall I not find it more difficult now I am to dye my self the Messenger of Death has laid hold on me I believe this sickness will be my last I have no hope of recovery I have been sick and God hath recover'd me at the Mouth of the Grave and God hath brought me back I have gone from my Sick-bed and Chamber to my Shop and Trade but now I verily believe I shall do so no more my Sun is setting my Glass is run there are but a few remaining Sands the Grave with open mouth is waiting for me and in a little time I shall drop into it Most Holy Lord assist me now and leave me not through thy Grace I have lived help me Lord help me now to dye as a Christian in these hours and moments prepare me more and better for my last I have lived Rom. 14. 8. Rev. 14. 13. to oh that now I might die in the Lord and fall asleep in Jesus Preparation for Death Judgment and an Eternal World thanks be to God I have not neglected I did not in health adjourn this work to a time of sickness in order to this I have made many a Prayer shed many a Tear abstain'd from sin and crucified the Flesh I spent much of my time in trying my self searching my Heart and examining my State in repenting of and amending what I found amiss I was convinc'd a few death-bed Tears and languishing Prayers extorted by fears of Death and Hell would not make amends or be a sufficient compensation for the sins of a wicked Life and therefore through the Grace of God assisting me I made it the business of my Life to prepare to dye But something more is to be done that I may glorify God in my Death and be for ever happy after it what remains and is now to be done in this my last sickness instruct me Lord and help me to do it I now stand at the Mouth of the Grave upon the Threshold of Time and at the Door of Eternity Lord increase strengthen and quicken all those Graces which are proper to be acted in a time of sickness and on a death-bed Oh! that now I am a sick oh that now I am a dying man my Faith Love and Hope my Repentance Humiliation and Sorrow my desires and breathings after God my joy and delight in him may be more lively and active than ever oh that this last work of my Life may be done best my sick bed joys may be the greatest and my dying comforts most abundant through these painful hours and days this dark and narrow gloomy and frightful passage guide direct and lead me Lord The exercise of some graces the performance of some duties are peculiarly seasonable in a time of health and life and others are so in Sickness and at Death Thou hast helpt me to live and now Lord help me to die If I have made any preparation for such a time and hour as this If I have done any of the work of my Life and conversed in this World as an expectant of a better if I have any grace and at any time have been able to act it if my love has been 〈◊〉 my zeal flaming my heart softned â—umbled broken and melted and mine eyes a fountain of tears to bewail the slips and falls I have been guilty of if I have delighted in God through Christ as my reconciled Father Portion Happiness and End if I have exercised self-denyal in keeping under the flesh restraining its appetites and denying its cravings in contemning the World and slighting those adored vanities which bewitch charm and intangle so many if at any time my hope of Heaven hath been lively my longing panting and breathing after it strong and warm if I have mortified any sin resisted any temptation performed any duty with success so as to profit my self and please God if I have done any thing whereby the glory honour and interest of God and Christ has been advanced if I have imployed improved my talents and gained more if I have brought forth fruit done any work and service in my generation and place Lord it is owing to thee to the assistances of thy grace and the influences of thy Holy Spirit and I desire to acknowledge it is so saying with thy holy Apostle by the grace of God I am what I am Not I but the 1 Co. 15. 10. grace of God which was with me Oh for the same grace and mercy aid and help now I am a sick and dying man Oh that God would help me in these painful days and sorrowful hours to glorifie him yet more by doing the work which is proper to such a time that my present sickness and death may be for the glory of God the honour of Religion the good of my self and others Particularly help me Lord to be truly thankful for all thy mercies for those innumerable favours confer'd on such a worm such a wretch as I am bring them to my remembrance and enable me unseignedly to bless thee help me O my God to exercise a serious solemn and particular repentance for my past sins Let Oh! let this heart of mine be more humble broken and penitent than ever Finally help me Lord with patience and calmness submission and resignation to submit to thy holy will to be willing to die now with faith and hope trust and confidence to commit my Soul to the care of my dear and blessed Jesus And to these ends Lord bless the following meditations to me and let neither my Eye nor Tongue out-run or leave my Heart behind II. God's goodness is to be acknowledged though he afflicts us at present An enumeration of past mercies temporal and Spiritual And solemn thanksgiving for both God is good and doth good freely constantly and unweariedly and I am fully convinced of both My faith and reason prove the former my very sense and long experience the latter And though now I am sick and weak afflicted and pained though I feel the weight of his hand and the smarting of his rod neither Flesh nor Devil shall persuade me to think otherwise Though he afflicts me now yet hath he not done me good all my days and shall not I bless him for his mercies Mercies that are more than I can number greater than I can value and far beyond my deserts Shall the afflictions of a few days the pains of a few hours make me O my Soul forget slight or
Exod. 15. 2. him an Habitation he is my Father's God and I will exalt him Lord may such an one say thou art my God I have been devoted and dedicated to thee and therefore I will love and fear serve and honour trust in and depend on thee more over thou art my Fathers God and my Mothers God and as this strengthens my obligation to so the remembrance of it shall keep me from departing from thee my own God and my Fathers God I will never forsake Do I should such an one often say live walk and act deport and carry my self as one descended from Godly Parents and becoming my Hereditary Relation to God Do I frame my Life and Conversation as becomes the Child the Son the Daughter of such a Father and such a Mother oh how may such a reflection confound shame and put us to the blush fill us with grief sorrow and repentance for what is past and be in slead of many arguments to persuade to more holy strictness circumspection and accuracy for the time to come Further urge and plead this with God when you come to beg Blessings Spiritual or Temporal I know you are not strangers to secret and closet Prayer you do not dare not cannot live without it when you go take this argument along with you The Argument is strong when I can say My God it is stronger when I can go on and say my Father's God David was mov'd to do kindness for Mephibosheth for his Father Jonathan's sake and can we think the Heart and Hand of God will not be open'd to give Mercy to the Posterity of his old Friends How frequently did the Saints of old put God in mind of their holy Ancestors saying remember Abraham Isaac and Jacob. Jehosaphat goes to Prayer with this Title in his Mouth O God the God of our Fathers David pleads this O Lord 2 Chr. 20. 6. I am thy Servant truly I am thy Servant Psal 116. 16. and the Son of thine handmaid Oh how comfortable argumentative and enforcing is it to mind God who we are when we come to his Door for an Alms to say with humble and holy reverence Lord dost thou ask who I am I am thy Servant and a Child too of a dear friend of thine my Father and Mother were thine antient acquaintance Lord don't deny me don't send me away empty for their sake but shew mercy to me My holy Parents were thine thy domestick servants they were brought up and lived in thy family Lord remember I am the Child of such and give me an alms Oh pity and pardon sanctifie and save me oh let not one descended of holy and believing Parents be a cast-away let not me Lord let not me have my portion with hypocrites when Mat. 24. 51. my Holy Father and Godly Mother shall sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in Mat. 8. 11. the Kingdom of God! I am thine Lord. Save me and to enforce my plea for mercy I humbly remember thee my Father was thine and my Mother was thine Lord let me find the benefit of being the off spring of such III. Earnestly sue for the full answer and return of those Prayers they sent up to God for you 'T is one great and unspeakable advantage the Children of holy Parents have that they often recommend them and their case to God Such Prayers may do them good after their decease and that they may their Children should beg a return This now should be your work and mine Many of these Prayers are filed up in the Court above as appears by that saying of my dear Mother to me Oh pray for me for when my Children were young and could not pray for themselves I pray'd for them Thanks be to God for a praying Mother Now send New Prayers after the Old Yours after Hers Oh! suffer not so many warm and earnest Prayers so many speaking tears and pleading groans to be lost for want of suing to Heaven for a rich and speedy return May not each go to a Throne of Grace and say Lord my holy Mother who is now fallen asleep was given to Prayer she was a Friend of thine and had an interest in thee and improv'd it not only for her self but for me How oft I was in her mind and upon her heart in her secret addresses to thee Lord thou knowest Did she not again and again recommend me to thy mercy through the merit of thy dear Son and her Saviour and I hope mine too the Lord Jesus are these Prayers all answered have I all the Grace and Holiness Joy Peace and Comfort she prayed for are not many of these Prayers yet to be answered Are not many of her requests for me yet with God oh now for a quick speedy and full return tho' she be dead let none of her Prayers for me be lost Lord that I could hear thee saying I remember thy Mother a good friend of mine I remember whose Child thou art and I am resolv'd to be kind to thee lo here is the Grace Pardon Peace and Comfort thy Mother prayed for she wrestled pleaded with me and would not let me alone be it unto thee according to her Faith and Prayers Lord may such an one say my Holy Parents spoke to thee on my behalf before I was able to speak for my self how many Prayers did my Holy Father and Godly Mother make for me in my Infancy Childhood and Youth Lord read over and grant those Petitions which are of an antient Date Tho' Death hath tied their Tongues the Grave stopt their Mouths and they can pray no more yet nay the rather let those Prayers be answered that are upon the File and are committed to the Hands and Care of the Blessed Jesus the great Master of Requests Lord Jesus do thou see that none of these be lost but answered in the best time IV. Exercise a serious solemn and hearty Repentance for all sin When I consider our dear and excellent Mother was not taken away by a sudden and surprizing stroke but a long and pining sickness prepared the way that she was not taken off in the midst of her days but lent to us for a considerable number of years that she lived till she saw many of her Children's Children and did not fall asleep nor go to Bed till towards the Evening I would hope there was no particular sin of ours provoked God to remove her at this time But alas we all have many sins and should not such a Providence awaken our Repentance It should it tends that way and I pray God it may Let us search our ways examine our hearts consider what sin or sins have been too much allowed and winked at Sin is the cause of Death to our selves and to those whom we dearly love these these are the murderers of our friends and relations let us send an hue and cry after them and when we have found them out let us Crucifie them Oh
they manage their affairs without that Wisdom or rather cunning Sophistry which is from beneath Jam. 3. 15. and therefore is not only earthly and sensual but Hellish and Devilish too what a blessed World and what an happy reformation should we see But tho' this be good and laudable and more of it is to be wisht for yet it is but a particular Vertue and tho' it adorn the man it will not make nor denominate him a Christian It is only like the painting and garnishing of a Sepulchre that makes it indeed more specious and beautiful but leaves it as full of stench and rottenness as it was before This is a Flower that grows in the Garden of Nature and may spring up and flourish in that Heart which is wholly barren as to any of the saving fruits of the Holy Spirit There may be this fruit in the Life when there is a root of bitterness in the Heart such an Heb 12. 15. one is like an embalmed Carcass that is as really dead as a putrified one tho' not so loathsome and offensive to the Living This particular Righteousness will not legitimate our hopes not justifie our claim to Heaven Many of these Righteous Men will be excluded the Kingdom above tho' they shine as Stars in this World they shall set in everlasting darkness in the next They serve at present like Salt to keep the World from putrefying and corrupting but at length like Salt which hath lost its savour they shall be cast unto the Dunghil Indeed this falls in with the character of a good man but it doth not make up the whole of it This Righteousness that is at present under our consideration is more extensive and large of a more Universal and comprehensive nature and that it must be so appeareth by what it stands in a just and direct opposition to in this verse the Wicked this word doth not denote a Man guilty of one particular crime or some sinful act but a man that is habitually and statedly bad Nothing more common and frequent in the Sacred Writings than the opposition of righteous and wicked and both these terms here and in many other places must be taken in a large and comprehensive and not in a limited and restrained sence This Righteousness which is but a single particular Vertue is a part and member of the new Creature without which let men pretend what they will it is but a deformed Monster Good God! how doth Satan impose upon and our own Hearts deceive us when we can conceit our selves to be good Christians when we are not honest men Tho' this be necessary yet there must be something more to constitute the nature and compleat the character of a Righteous Man and this single and solitary Vertue is not sufficient to qualifie any for so high a priviledge as this in the Text. Therefore Secondly Righteousness must be taken in a more large and extensive sense comprehensive of much more than hath been spoken of under the former head Now there is a three-fold righteousness which we may take notice of that we may find out what is essential to characterize the Person here spoken of I. A Person may be denominated righteous from an exact and entire conformity to the Law of Works Righteousness is a relative term and doth arise from a conformity to that Law to which it hath a respect and if it have relation and be adaequately correspondent to the law of works made for innocent man it is a legal righteousness When a man is inwardly and outwardly in the frame of his Heart and actions of his Life in his deportment towards God and in his carriage towards men such as the Law requires he is righteous when every thought motion and passion every glance of the Eye every word of the mouth and every step he takes is such as the Law requires when the Divine Law in every point and punctilio of it is written in the Heart and fairly without any blots and blurs transcribed in the Life when every precept is obey'd and every commandment observ'd in the whole latitude and extent of it when obedience is entire without any defect perfect without any flaw Universal without breaking the least command Persevering without any Apostacy when all duties personal and relative publick and private to God and Man are performed and no one circumstance tho' never so minute is omitted then is the man righteous he is so in himself in the Eye of the Law and in the Account of God This Righteousness is nothing but a perfect and sinless obedience This was the righteousness of Innocent Adam This is the righteousness of confirmed Angels those elder Brethren of ours who have always been with our Father and never offended him they can lift up their faces without spot tho' Job 11. 15. to signifie how they are awed by and reverence Divine Majesty they are said to cover them with their Wings This is Isa 6. 2. the righteousness of our Redeemer he is stiled emphatically the Holy one of God and the Holy Child Jesus and Jesus Christ 1 Joh. 2. 1. the Righteous But this is not the righteousness of any of Adams wretched posterity Behold We are all of us as an unclean thing our blood was stained in the first fountain of Isa 64. 6. it and we derive sad thought guilt and pollution with the humane Nature We are guilty before we are born and sinners as soon as we are men for by the disobedience of one Man many were made sinners Rom 5. 19 Now deplorable state the whole World is become guilty before God the Law Rom. 3. 19. convinceth all of sin among all the Children of Apostate Adam in this sense there is none righteous no not one Our original Rom. 3 10. sin were we guilty of no actual transgressions one spark of Lust glowing in our Hearts did no smoak or flame break forth at our Mouths renders us unrighteous in the account of the Law nay having once sinned it can never be possible to be denominated righteous by this Law which condemns for one single crime as well as for a thousand Our whitest Garments have some spots and stains and the fairest Christian many blemishes and wrinkles our best duties have many failings as to principle manner and end our purest gold much dross and our strongest Graces many defects having a corrupt nature within every thing that cometh from us like pure Water out of a musty Cask is tainted our persons duties and graces want the blood of Christ to wash and the Mercy of God to pardon them If the holiest man upon Earth Lord what will become of the ungodly and the sinner should be tried by the Law in the Court and at the Bar of Rigorous Justice he would be cast as unrighteous He even he must say with Holy David Lord enter not into judgment with Psal 143. 2. thy Servant II. A man is
God his Love to you or yours to him because it is so and so with you yet don't say nay don 't so much as think there are any more bitter Ingredients in your Cup than are necessary than both the Wisdom and Bowels of a Father advise Is Satan busie to fill you with doubts and fears needless suspicions and groundless jealousies does he draw a Curtain before or cast a Veil upon your faces does he labour to magnifie your Sins blot your Evidences and extinguish your Hope and are you cast down and go mourning all the day long because of this why should you is it not an Argument Satan has lost his game and you are none of his Slaves because he thus disquiets you Do you mourn after God and pant and breathe for him is it nothing but the light of his Countenance the smiles of his Face and a sense of his Love can content you Are you looking to see the Image of God upon your hearts and is it your grief and trouble you cannot see it so plain and legible as you should and would and desire and hereupon do you conclude you have no Grace What! when even these tears and groans tell you you have Tho' you may walk in darkness as many Children of Light have and do yet stay your selves on God and wait for him Oh how easily and quickly can the breath of God scatter all these Clouds which darken your Souls and the Light of his Countenance make a bright and a joyful day Having this opportunity to testifie my Love to you especially to your Souls I shall beg and presume on my Readers patience while upon this occasion I give you some counsels which I pray God may be useful to you and many more in the like circumstances I. Bless God it was your Lot and Happiness to be born of such holy Parents whereof one is taken and the other is yet left To be the Off-spring of them who are the Children of God to be the Postcrity of those who themselves are born from and have an Alliance to Heaven to descend from them who are the Dear and Antient Friends of God to be born of them who have a Convenant-Interest in God and can lay claim to the Covenant both for themselves and theirs how great a mercy what an invaluable Priviledge is it I am far from saying that Grace runs in a Blood that Children are Heirs to the Graces as they are to the Riches of their Parents but yet it is a Priviledge to be born of such I do and I would have you heartily bless God for it How sad a thought is it I am born of them who are Enemies to God Slaves to these Lusts and Servants to the Devil What a sad Example do such set before their poor Children in case they live and what a dreadful Legacy how many Woes and Curses do they bequeath to 'em in case they die before ' em I know sometimes sovereign Grace that even of Stones can Matth. 3. 9. raise up Children to Abraham cuts off the Entail But more frequently they tread in their Fathers steps and bear their Iniquities But how comfortable is it to sit down and think God a long time before my Birth order'd I should be born of such and such who were his familiar Friends and dear Servants I have a Father a Mother in whom I can see the Image of God who are united to Christ and sanctified by the Holy Spirit Is it not a mercy to be the Children of such Are not they more likely in a serious conscientious and sober manner to devote and dedicate their new-born Infants in Baptism to God when others only complement with God and bring them to the Laver of Regeneration out of Custom Ceremony and for Fashion sake they will do it with a deep sense of God's Goodness and Mercy And great may be the benefit of this solemn Transaction and early Dedication Will not such Parents when they look upon their own act and deed and remember what they promised in the Name and stead of their Children be put upon performing consequent Duties as earnest and servent Prayer to God for them a timely instructing them in the Christian Religion setting before 'em an holy Example and watching over their first early and ungovern'd years and how beneficial may all this be are not such Children like to have the benefit of an holy Religious Education which very oft God blesses to Conversion however may they not be kept from many open scandalous and conscience-wounding sins which in Youth They are inclined to and Others commit may not and has not God blessed such for their Father's sake These are does the great God as it were say the Children of my Covenant-servants they were born in my Family enter'd into my Service and I will be their God as I was the God of their Father and Mother their Holy Parents devoted them to me and I accepted set my mark upon them they are mine and they shall be mine and know what it is to be born of those who were my Friends and Favourites What is the peculiar priviledge of such Truly the Children of such Parents owe more thanks to God upon this account than usually they are aware of How few on their Knees heartily acknowledge God's Goodness and mercy to 'em in this respect while others pride themselves in the greatness of their Family the nobleness of their descent and that they have more pure and refined blood running in their Veins than others Bless the Lord O my Soul that I had a Father who was a Son and a Mother who was a Daughter of God This Children should do not only while Parents are alive but when dead a deep sense and a thankful acknowledgement of God's goodness should survive their Funeral render their memory very very pretious and force lively praises from us when they are faln asleep Let me add that this duty is most reasonable and the neglect of it most culpable if God hath blessed all or any of their endeavours to our Conversion Were they under God the means of our first and second birth the instruments of conveying Natural and Spiritual Life Is it owing to them that we are Men and Women and to their Prayers and Tears instructions and counsels that we are Christians Did God bless our Education and was it the means of an early and lasting Piety Our Debt is increas'd and a double Tribute of Praise is owing to God II. Learn how to make use of urge and plead this priviledge with your selves and with God With your selves that you may live and act as Children of such Parents with God that you may have the Blessings and Mercies which belong to such Vrge it upon and plead it with your own Souls that you may suppress Sin resist Temptation and live in the constant and lively performance of Holy Duties Israel makes use of this Argument He is my God and I will prepare
believe a future final and general judgment but I hope may the departing Saint say things will go very well with me in that day I have often pray'd God grant that I may find mercy of the Lord 2 Tim. 1. 18. in that Day and I hope I shall I hope that mercy and not rigorous justice will pronounce my sentence that I shall find a friend in Court that the judge himself will be so that blessed Jesus who is nay Advocate and elder Brother who died for me and washt me in his Blood who Sanctified me by his Spirit and reconciled me to God is to be my Judge and therefore I hope when I am judged I shall not be condemn'd The sentence of absolution stands upon record Mat. 25. 34. Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the Foundation of the World This this Oh! this is the blessed sentence that belongs to me I have read it again and again I have meditated upon it till I have been ravished and transported with joy What sweet what reviving words are these how worthy is each of them of a particular remark Come glorious invitation Ye blessed of my Father endearing title Inherit the Kingdom No less still more joy Prepared for you for me Lord for Worms for Men for Sinners Soveraign Grace Before the Foundation of the World what so long ago so early designed was my name written upon a Mansion above long before any of my members were written in thy Book Grace Grace Lord I admire and adore that love that free and generous and early love of thine I cannot comprehend if the reading and meditating upon these words be so delightful what will it be to hear them spoken and spoken to ME I hope now I am a dying man I hope to hear this Sentence from the Mouth of my Saviour and when these words of Life and Joy shall drop from those sweet and blessed Lips Lord what Joy shall I feel a joy which now I can neither comprehend nor bear Is this the Sentence I expect to hear O my weeping friends stop your flowing tears silence your groans hush those sobs and sighs and let us sing Psalms of praise to God oh begin and help me to praise him and with my latest breath I will say Amen Hallelujah Eighthly The Righteous hath hope in his Death what hath he hope of what of the full entire and eternal happiness of the whole man when the final judgment is past and over Sentence being past judgment being over and the Court broken up all pass to their Eternal abodes some ay and the greatest part too of that vast assembly to the Regions of horrour and darkness beneath others viz. the Righteous to the Mansions of Bliss and Light above Now oh joyful day Christ and all his friends immediately march in triumph to Heaven those everlasting Gates are open'd they all enter into those peaceable quiet and undisturbed Regions and so shall they be for ever with the Lord. 1 Thes 4. 17 Before one part was praising God in Heaven and the other silent in the Grave the Soul was the Companion of Angels the Body the Food of Worms the one as distant from the other as yonder Heaven is from the Bowels of this Earth but after the great and solemn transactions of that day the WHOLE MAN the WHOLE CHRISTIAN shall be admitted into the Heavenly State Christ their head and husband shall bring them to Heaven with a lo O my Father here are the Men thou gavest unto me here are the Men for whom I suffered and died while they were in the World I kept them and have now ransom'd them from the Power of Death and the Grave I have brought them safe to glory I present them to thee without spot or wrinkle and Father I will they be where I am that they may behold and partake of my Glory Joh. 17. 24. This perfect happiness of the whole man the Righteous hath hope of he looks beyond Death to the Resurrection beyond that to judgment and beyond judgment to Heaven and Heaven is the summ of his desires Heaven it is the center of all his hopes and wishes and such an one in his last hours may say methinks I foresee the time when my Lord and the judge of all will come methinks I hear the Trumpet sound and see the dead raised from my death-bed I have a prospect of the transacâ—ious of the last day I see by faith I see what shall then be done to the men whom the King of Heaven delights to honour methinks I see the redeemed and ransom'd of the Lord marching in triumph to the City above and the glorious blessed Jesus leading the way I shall not be left asleep or stay behind but accompany them to the everlasting Kingdom and this Flesh of mine which now must see corruption this body of mine that now must rot in darkness shall then be united to my Soul and not only my Soul but my Body shall have the happiness it is capable of This is my Faith and this is my Hope Come Lord Rev. 22. 20. Jesus come quickly and accomplish what thou hast promised and I and all thy Followers live and die in the hope of Thus we have finished the Doctrinal part and now proceed Fourthly and Lastly To make application of what hath been said upon this argument to our selves The most serious and weighty the most plain and searching the most important and awakening truths have little or no influence upon our hearts and lives for want of a close warm home and particular application Shall I apply what hath been said Would to God I might come to the quick reach the heart alarm the Conscience of every one that shall read these lines where shall I sharpen my Arrows that they may pierce and wound what words shall I use that drowsie sinners may be startled Lord help me Lord help the reader Lord help us both and that I might not lose my Labour and you your Souls I solemnly charge and in the name of the Eternal God I Sub-poena thee O CONSCIENCE closely and impartially to apply to the Heart what the man shall read with his Eye Conscience Now 's thy time to speak hereafter it may be too late for ever when once the man is dead and damn'd thou may'st torture and torment him but it will be impossible to fright him into Repentance Is the man drowsie O Conscience Conscience thunder in his Ears is he asleep jog and awake him is he unconcern'd as to any preparation for death judgment and an Eternal world tell him of this misery forewarn him of his danger call cry in his Ears till he is startled what shall be said in general do thou according to thine office as thou wilt answer the neglect of it to God thy Judge hereafter apply in particular if any thing be said suitable to the case of the man whose Conscience thou art be
tender bowels he has toward such Are we not ready to say How and why is it that such must die Since their door-posts are sprinkled with the Blood of the Lamb why may why does not the destroying Angel pass over them Since God hath such a love to delight in and wishes so well to them why must they Taste Death before they can drink of those Rivers of Heb. 2 9. pleasure which are at Gods right hand forevermore Psal 16. 11. Why does not such love and mercy pleasure them with an easie and instantaneous Translation These may be the arguings of carnal reason but to consider with what great and vast blessed and glorious hopes they die may help us to silence every thing of this kind Why should we entertain any hard thoughts of God or think him in the least unkind because we must first die before we can be happy When he has given us such sure and certain hopes to carry us through the Pains and Conflicts Agonies and Terrors of that hour When you hear or see that the Righteous must die do you cry out How severe and inflexible is Divine Justice Then remember they die in hope and cry out How tender is Divine Mercy How great is the Mercy of God that he sweetens this Cup with some fore-tasts of Heaven When sickness shall Summon me to die when I shall lie weak and pain'd on my last bed Lord Let me have a strong and unshaken a vigorous and lively hope Give me in that dark and gloomy hour but a prospect of Heaven and an assurance it shall be mine While with one eye I look into the Grave with the other let me look to Heaven and be able to say Yonder is a Mansion for me And I will never think much that I must die O my God I will not think thy justice is too severe but adore and Bless Love and Praise thee while I have Strength and Breathe that I have hope to comfort me in my Passage Infer IV. How evident is it that serious Religion and practical holiness is not a vain thing To mourn for our sins and repent of our past wickedness to watch our Hearts which have so oft so easily and fatally betray'd us to resist the Temptations of Satan who waits for an opportunity to destroy us to abstain from fleshly and sensual pleasures which have drowned thousands in Perdition and may ensnare and defile us to be strict and accurate in all our ways to follow the Directions of the Word the Conduct of the Holy Spirit and the light of a well-informed Conscience in all we do to be warm fervent and frequent in Prayer both in our Families and Closets to be serious and reverent when ever we have to do with God and meddle with sacred things to love our Enemies and do good to all and hurt to none to deny self take up the Cross and suffer rather than sin to be humble meek and condescending to govern our thoughts make a Covenant with our Eyes and to set a Watch on the Door of our Lips and Bridle our Passions to contemn the World and the three grand Idols of it RICHES HONOURS and PLEASURES to be contented with little and thankful to God for any thing to obey the commanding and submit to the Providential Will of God is accounted by some men and those who think themselves Wits too ridiculous and vain What profit is there in serving â—â—e Almighty Job 21. 15. Is the Language of some Men's Tongues and more Mens Hearts but Lord what mad and foolish talk is this is that vain which ends so well and has such an happy issue at last The whole Life of a sinner is but one continued vanity but one entire piece of a more solemn folly your carking and caring for your pampering a dying Body while you neglect an Immortal Spirit your thoughtfulness for Earth while you forget Heaven your heaping up Riches while you lay up no treasures for your selves in another World your purchasing Lands and Houses while you do not seek a Title to a Mansion above your sinful Laughter and carnal Mirth your ridiculing Religion and making a scorn of the Righteous your beastly pleasures and bruitish delights are all vain of these we may say Vanity of Vanities all is Vanity Should I come to you when you lie sick cold and trembling on a Death-bed and ask Sir what fruit have you of your former sinful Life would you not shake your head and with an heavy Heart say Fruit alass no fruit nothing but shame and sorrow dreadful fears of an after reckoning and frightful thoughts of Hell and Judgment to come But Righteousness and Powerful Religion is no vain or unprofitable thing suspend thy judgment a little while stay till the Righteous man comes to the end of his Journey behold him weak and languishing and yet full of hope and joy See him looking grim Death in the Face with courage and going out of the World in triumph hear him saying with a pleasant voice Oh that Death would come I long I long to dye and then judge if righteousness be vain This Doctrine exemplified in the triumphant and joyful Death of a Righteous Man is enough to convince the most sottish and stupid sinner that serious religion is no vain and empty thing Infer V. How industriously and diligently should all labour after this righteousness That Death is certain and unavoidable near at hand and will quickly come I suppose you take for granted You are dying verily my friends you are dying men and women the time is coming and how quickly will it be here when you must breath your last when neither the tears of Relations the pity of Friends the skill of Physitians nor any vertue there is in Medicines can prolong Life or keep off Death Lo this is thy Motto DUST thou art and to the Dust shalt thou return and should not you labour to be such persons while you live that you may have hope in your Death To be a stranger upon Earth is your character to get an hope of an abiding City should be your endeavour and this cannot be had without Gospel-righteousness It is not a superficial sorrow and slight repentance for your past sins a few good thoughts or wishes a few cold and lifeless Prayers in the Church or Closet it is not an escaping the gross pollutions of the flesh or doing some acts of Charity and Justice Sobriety and Temperance that will be a sufficient ground of hope in a dying hour it is nothing short of a through Universal change of Heart and Life nothing short of a supernatural principle in the Heart exerting its self in suitable actions in the life will warrant and legitimate your hope and oh how speedily and diligently should every one labour after it If you would have hope in your Death you must solemnly repent of all your sins that Heart of thine which is as hard as a Rock must be
my self in a solemn manner to be a follower of them so far as they were followers of Christ When an holy Father or Mother dies methinks this is the farewell language I have resigned and devoted my self to God and by his grace I have been enabled in some measure to live suitably to such a state 'T is true I have had my imperfections and failings many infirmities have attended me which I heartily bewail and unfeignedly lament but I have thanks be to God I have the testimony of my Conscience I have been sincere and upright and now at last God is beginning to give me the rewards of a holy Life I have had in this sickness much from God and I hope for more I am full I am full of joy I long I long to be gone would God my work were done and I were gone Religion is not a vain thing and now I find it is not I have serv'd a good Master I have been his I have lived as his and now upon a Death-bed he treats me as his own as a Friend as a Servant nay even as a Child I do not repent of my Prayers and Tears my Watching against and Wrestling with sin my Circumspect walking and my Holy Life of any of the pains I took the endeavours I used to be truly Religious Repent no no I do not I thank God for hâ—s grace bestowed on me and that his grace was not altogether in vain Tho' I relie only on the merits of Christ and desire to be found and accepted in him yet I do and can rejoice that my works prove my Faith to be more than a dead one My fears are gone my doubts are answered my peace is setled my Conscience is quiet my joy full and I can die and now by these my last comforts by these my dying hopes I beseech beg of charge and conjure you O my dear Children Whom I shall leave in a wicked World to Serve Please and Honour God What Errata's there have been in my Life let them be corrected and amended in yours And wherein grace hath enabled me to be a follower of Christ do you be followers of me I now leave you to go to the Father but this do and God be with you Amen When Holy Relations are snatcht away dead and gone what doth more nearly concern them who are left than to study and imitate their Holy Lives to tread in their steps follow their example and write after their Copy Oh what a laudable ambition is it to strive who shall come nearest to the Original and whose Copy shall be fairest Fourthly Another duty incumbent on us Is to be more speedy serious and solemn in making preparation for our own departure Thoughts of Death should be serious lively and affecting and it is our sin and folly if any of them be cold flat dull and ineffectual Death carries that awful sound it is of that infinite concern and importance that every view thought and glance should be improved by us We should neither think nor speak of this solemn and weighty thing Death without concern But alas while we only entertain our selves with meer contontemâ—â—ation and naked speculation how little do the best of us advance in real piety How seldom is it that these thoughts make any deep through and lasting impressions upon our hearts perhaps they scare and terrifie us at present and produce some short-lived pangs of a gasping devotion but how few are the better for walking among graves and Tombs By reason of a croud of worldly business secular affairs present prosperity and flattering hopes of its continuance through vain sports and foolish pastimes carnal mirth and sensual joy the crafty insinuations of a subtil Devil and the fly suggestions of a deceitful heart most of these thoughts come short of that end they are proper to attain How few alas how few in this dying World of ours which every day and hour is changing its inhabitants are reform'd amended and made better don 't they love the World pursue vanity follow their pleasures neglect duty forget God and themselves have they not as strong an appetite after the little things of time and are not their affections to the great things of Eternity as cold and flat as ever But if it be so when we think of Death should it be so after we have seen it and God has been holding the frightful picture of it before our Eyes If this won't affect and awaken the Lord pity us what will When a near and dear Relation is gone the living should prepare to follow And if such an one died in hope it should add Life and Vigour to our endeavours for in them we see that to be prepared is no impossible thing After such a Providence it is seasonable adviseable and may be very profitable and useful to make this ensuing Reflection I am but poor Dust a crawling Worm breathing Clay a sinful Creature I must certainly and I may quickly die After a few more moments and hours I may after a few more weeks and years I must Ere long alas in a little little time it will be with me as it now is with this near and dear Relation of mine My breath will fail my pulse be low my tongue faulter my countenance change my visage will be marr'd my looks will be frightful and my body cold and stiff It is his or her turn to die now ere long it will be mine May not I be the next person that falls sick the next time this grave is opened may it not be to receive me The next Funeral out of this Family may it not be mine The next Arrow that is shot may it not glance by others strike me and leave me dead on the spot Do I think of living many years that it will be a long time before my present Lease be expired Vain thought do I talk of another year or day This may be my last and for ought I know it will be so And is it not O my Soul my grand duty my great concern and ought it not to be my chief care to make my peace with God to obtain the pardon of my sin and an interest in Christ to get grace wrought and the evidence of it that I may Die in Hope That on a Death-Bed I may firmly depend on the mercy of God in my sorrowful moments trust in the Merits of Christ and with my last breath commit my Soul to the care of my Redeemer with Faith and Confidence saying as some of the last words I shall ever speak in this World Lord Jesus receive my Spirit Act. 7. 59. Is one dead and another dead is my Father or my Mother my Husband or my Wife dead and shall not I prepare for the evil day that is coming apace and will be quickly here in that day in that moment I and my dearest friends must part in that moment my Soul and Body must be Divorc'd in that moment awful
serviceable more proper or powerful than to consider they died in hope may we not more easily with more submission and less reluctancy commit the Body to the Dust when we have ground to hope the Soul which is by far the better part and to which certainly we owe most love is in Heaven may not Gods Grace and Mercy to them before their departure abundantly comfort us after their dissolution we have more infinitely more reason to groan and weep Lord forgive us we do not over a wicked Relation that is dead while he liveth than 1 Tim. 5. 6. over a godly Relation that lives tho' he dies That wicked profane son of thine who lives to thy shame and Gods dishonour calls for more Tears than thy godly and religious Son who is dead i. e. gone from his Earthly to his Heavenly Father a Lugâ—s Corpus a quo recâ—ssit anima Luge animam à qua recessit Deus Aâ—g De Sanct. 13. Do'st thou weep over the Body from which the Soul is gone weep over that Soul from which God is departed b 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrys in Phil. Hom. 3. Let us saith another lament sinners not only when they die but while they live but let us rejoice over the righteous not only while they live but when they are dead If we would not offend while we sorrow if we would weep as if we wept not 1 Cor. 8. 30. let us seriously consider with what great blessed and glorious hopes our Holy Relations died and that now they are receiving the end of their Faith and Hope the Salvation of their Souls Cannot we 1 Pet. 1. 9. behold the Pale Wan Gastly and Breathless Corps they have left behind without wetting it with an immoderate shower of Tears Can't we follow them to their long home look into the deep and dark frightful and lonesome grave in which we must leave them without an excess of sorrow Let us look up and consider whither they are gone what they now are enjoy and do what employment and society they have what rivers of pleasure they are drinking of and what angelical joys they are now filled with Is their Pilgrimage over are they got to the end of their Journey Are they gone home and are they now with God After many threatning storms and tempests many fears of shipwrack and drowning has Death safely landed them and are they got well into Harbour Have they done their work finished their course and are they now receiving the reward The reward they long pray'd and waited for Is their warfare accomplisht their conflict with sin and all the legions of darkness now over and the crown obtain'd Are they gone from this to a better World to a World more holy and happy more quiet and peaceable Are they gone from Earth to Heaven To Heaven where they long'd wisht and groan'd to be To Heaven where their treasure hearts and hopes were long ago To Heaven where there is all good and no evil all that can be thought of wisht and desired to make up a compleat and entire happiness Is their trial over and their account delivered up with joy and has God said Well done good and faithful Servants Have they exchang'd Earth for Heaven Sickness for Health Sorrow for Joy pain for Ease Trouble for Rest Groans for Songs Tears for Triumph a State of Sin for a State of perfect Holiness Are they past for ever past those difficulties and dangers snares and temptations which we are liable to and must encounter Have they done wrestling and fighting watching and striving complaining and weeping Are they gone to the true land of the living and are they beyond the pain the fear the possibility of dying any more for ever Are they gone from a Sick-bed a Crazy Body an house of Clay a Tabernacle of the Flesh that was always shaking and tottering to a mansion in their Fathers house to a City that hath foundations whose Builder and maker is God Are they gone to their own countrey and their own People To God the Judge of all to Christ the Mediator of the new Covenant to an innumerable company of Angels and the Spirits of just men made perfect Have they the Beatifical vision the ravishing fight of the Man Christ Jesus in all his glory Are they in Heaven and are they glad they are Without the least thought wish or desire to return to this wretched Earth of ours again Did they run their Christian race with holy patience and constancy and have they won the prize Are they reaping the fruit of all their prayers and tears religious duties and holy endeavours Are our departed Relations who t'other day were weeping sinning and suffering with us now sate down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob with Patriarchs Prophets Apostles Confessors and Martyrs in the Kingdom of God above Did they live in the fear die in the favour of God and shall they rise in his love Did they live in comfort and at last die in peace Are their Souls gone to Heaven and does their Flesh rest in hope And is not this enough and more than enough to check an intemperate sorrow Can we as it were hear the separated Soul of one whom we lov'd knew and conversed with a while ago or of one who was related to us in the flesh upon its first arrival at yonder blessed World with wonder and admiration crying out Glorious Sight Blessed Company Happy Place Where am I What a change is this What Musick do I hear Is this Heaven Incomparable place Is this glorious Mansion for me Admirable grace Must I be with God and Christ and be with them for ever Vnspeakable Happiness Must I O ye Holy Angels and glorified Spirits be one of your Number Excellent Company But is this Heaven Is this the Heaven I heard of so often What I was told Alas poor mortals do not know what Heaven is was not one half of what I now find Is this Heaven Am I in it must I be here for ever Glory to thee O God the Father for preparing it Glory to thee O God the Son for purchasing it Glory to thee O God the Holy Ghost for preparing me for Heaven And yet immoderately weep at the thoughts of his departure Had they hope on a death-bed and are they now in possession of all they hoped for and have not we more cause to weep for our selves who are left behind than for them who are gone have not we more reason to wish Lord that my work were done my Soul prepared and my Account ready that I might be gone than wish oh that I had my Wife my Father my Mother again we that are Christians design Heaven Heaven is the blessed Port we are bound for and shall we repine and grieve that our holy Relations are safely Landed before us Is this our love to ' em oh what abundant provision has God made for the support of his people under such afflictive
be unthankful for the mercies of many For the mercies of my whole life Oh how evil and criminal would this be my flesh is pain'd my affliction great my sick-bed uneasie and the hand of God presseth me sore my tears and sorrows my innocent groans which I hope are only the voice of oppressed nature pierce the hearts and draw tears from the eyes of my dear Relations but yet O my Soul I charge thee by all that is solemn and sacred let there not be a murmuring thought a repining word or any peevish carriage Remember remember the days of Old the mercies of former times and be thankful Thy God hath been good is and will be so and be thou ALL LOVE and PRAISE Was it not God who form'd and fashion'd me in the Womb and brought me forth into the light with an entire and perfect body Were not all my members Ps 139. 16. written in his book and did not he watch over my substance while it was yet imperfect and did not he take care I should not be be born out of due time Was it not 1 Cor. 15. 8. he who appointed when where and of whom I should be born and did not he order all the circumstances of my birth in the best manner When I was a poor helpless infant when I hung on my Mothers breast and lay in my cradle did not he take the care of me Did not his providence watch over me in my Childhood and prevent many unknown and unseen dangers Did noâ— he in my youth keep me from the many evils which in that ungoverned age I was exposed to and might have brought upon my self Has not his careful eye been upon me from my first moments even until now how pretious are thy thoughts unto me O Ps 139 17. God! How great is the sum of them Was it not of God I had the happiness to be born of Religious Parents who set before me a good example wept over and prayed for me That I had seasonable instructions wholsome counsels and the benefit of a vertuous education in my first and early years Was it not he that restrained and with-held me from those sins and lusts which many are overtaken withal and I my self was in danger of in that age of folly and vanity Hath not he fed and cloathed provided for and defended me Been my refuge in a storm my sanctuary in a time of danger my deliverer in an evil day and my Physitian in sickness How oft hath he brought me out of the fiery furnace raised me from a sick bed renewed my strength and saved me from going down to the pit when in my own and others apprehension I was at the mouth of and ready to drop into it hath not he supplied my wants increased my substance blest my endeavours and given me a considerable portion of this Worlds goods Is it not of him I have Friends and Relations to be a comfort to me while others have none or such as are worse than none even a cross and a scourge to them Hath not his Arm upheld his power defended his mercy succoured his bounty supplyed his treasuries enricht me Hath not his providence been ever watchful over me and his holy Angels my constant and perpetual life-guard When in my affliction and pain I have cryed to him hath he not heard my groans regarded my tears answered my prayers in the fittest season and best manner eased or supported me removed my burden or given me strength and so ordered the affliction from first to last that I have been forc't to say Lord it is good for me I have been afflicted Psal 119. â—1 I have not only had the mercies of the left hand but those of the right not only temporal but Spiritual not only for a perishing body but more and greater for an immortal Soul Thanks be to God that he quickened and raised me when I was dead in Trespasses and Sins Eph. 2. 1. that he brought me to hear his Holy word and made it effectual for my conviction and conversion that the same word which was to others the savour of Death unto Death to me was the savour 2 Cor. 2. 16. of Life to Life That the same Word the same Blessed Gospel which blinded them enlightned me which left them in their sins and under the power of Satan brought me home to God for this thy special grace and mercy to my Soul Lord I do I will and hope I shall for ever bless thee Who or what am I What have I done or what can I do That I should be chosen and effectually called when others are not Lord Why didst thou call and convert me and not another me and not my Neighbour me and not him who sate in the same pew heard the same Sermon and for many years attended upon the same ministry Free grace distinguishing mercy differencing love Am I converted changed sanctified and pardon'd Lord I do I will admire and adore thy powerful and victorious grace Awake O my Soul awake prepare a song Oh love and bless and praise thy God I was an Apostate wretch a stubborn enemy a disloyal Rebel and it was a long time before I would lay down my weapons return to my duty and yield patience waited mercy invited ministers exhorted the Spirit pleaded conscience urged God expostulated with yearning bowels the Blessed Jesus called to me from Heaven and beseeched me by his wounds and tears blood-shed passion and death to be reconciled to God but I vile wretch that I was did not hear How many reproofs and counsels warnings and exhortations earnest pleadings and pathetick Sermons were lost upon me And blessed be God all were not that one did the work Did God convert me after many Sabbaths enjoyed and many Sermons heard in vain Infinite kindness Lord I bow and worship before thee and with all the powers of my immortal Spirit bless and praise thee Was it not God pityed me when I did not pity my self Who called after and stopt me when I was running head-long to Hell Who loosed my chains broke my bonds knockt off my setters and brought me out of the House of bondage Was it not he who with a mighty power and stretched-out arm delivered and rescued me when sin ruled and govern'd and Satan led me in triumph as his vassal and captive And shall not I though a sick and pained man adore and bless him Bless him I do I will Bless the Lord O my Soul Ps 103. 2. And all that is withim me bless his Holy Name Since my Conversion and becoming a new man since God took me into his family adopted and made me his Son how much and what great things have been done for me what sweet and ravishing Communion have I had in holy duties publick and private in the assembly of Saints and in my Closet what large speedy and remarkable answers of Prayer what a ravishing sense of Divine Love and Favour
what holy motions and breathings what enlivening quickening and comforting influences of the Holy Spirit have I had how oft hath God supported my drooping and reviv'd my dying Spirits answered my doubts expell'd my fears and treated me as a Friend nay more as a Son how hath God in mercy restrained the Tempter or wisely ordered the Temptation as to the nature strength and continuance of it what succour and support what strength and assistance have I experienc'd at such a time and how oft through Grace have I been more than a Conquerour when I sinn'd and fell God did not cast me off banish me his family and null the former Relation but pittied me a faln Christian when he heard my groans and saw my penitential Tears his Bowels yearned he took me up and embraced me in the Arms of his Mercy wiped my weeping Eyes comforted my sorrowful Heart and said Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven Mat. 9. 2. thee Oh! the joy oh the unspeakable joy of that hour methinks I yet sensibly feel what lively and warm impressions those words made upon my Heart upon my Heart that the moment before was ready to sink and dye within me when I was covered with Tears Blushing and Shame when I lay sighing sobbing and groaning at his Foot-stool crying out in the bitterness of my Soul I have sinned I have sinned before I rose from my knees before I said Amen my God came and said I have pardoned I have pardoned and now go in peace For the mercy and kindness of that hour Lord I bless thee now When through the weakness of my Grace the strength of my Corruptions and the power of Temptation I have wandred and gone astray when my zeal has abated my affections been cooled when I have been remiss negligent and careless back-sliding and on the declining hand he sent some affliction or other to call me back to awaken warm quicken and recover me When I have loved the World too much and my God too little when my affection to Earth has been too warm and to Heaven too cold when duties have been neglected or performed without life vigour and zeal when I begun to be too Worldly Earthly and Sensual he suffered me to meet with disappointments took away part of my Estate snatcht away a bosom Friend a dear Relation filled my Body with pain shook me over the Grave and threatned to cast me into it and all this with a merciful design to reform and make me better And Lord I thank thee any afflictions have been sanctified to such an end that the voice of the Rod has been accompanied with that of thy Spirit and both were effectual to reclaim me that at any time I came out of the fire more refin'd and purg'd and that those Waters of Affliction washt away my filthiness Lord I can do and will bless thee for seasonable corrections and the discipline of thy Rod. So good and kind so liberal and bountiful so merciful and gracious hath God been to me I have had so much for Body and Soul for time and eternity that I am fill'd with wonder and must cry out Oh the heighth and depth length and breadth of the love of God! my mercies have been more than my moments and every single mercy deserves and calls for a Psalm of Praise Lord when I am dead and in a silent Grave I cannot praise thee and therefore now I will blessed be God I lived till I was born again that ever I heard of that sweet that blessed that charming name JESUS and that I was enabled to believe on him for all the Mercies I have had in this World and for the hope and prospect of more and better in the next Blessed be God for Pardoning Mercy Sanctifying Grace and the Blood of Jesus to wash and cleanse me a sinner Blessed be God for the supports and comforts I have in this sickness that Satan is restrain'd and my own corruptions curb'd Blessed be God I am made meet for Heaven and that I know I am Lord what Grace is thine how free and sovereign What love is thine how constant and matchless how sweet how exceeding sweet is the thought that God hath loved doth love me and will do so unto the End I 'll bless thee Lord while I live thank thee with my last Breath and O my God through Christ thy Son and my Saviour accept my dying praises Bless the Lord O my Soul bless the Lord for me O my Friends bless the Lord O ye his Holy Angels my single voice is not sufficient may every Tongue all breath praise his holy name Amen HALLELUJAH III. After Death cometh Judgment what an awakening Thought this is and ought to be How this Thought may and should be improv'd by us in our last Sickness particularly to put us upon Confession the exercise of Repentance and earnest Prayer to God for Pardoning Mercy SICKNESS Summons Men to die Death Summons them to Judgment May this Sickness be my last and do I suppose it will hearken O my Soul and thou may'st hear Deaths Voice Come unto the Bar come give an account of thy Self to God in the NAME of the ETERNAL GOD whose Servant and Messenger I am I cite thee O Man to make thine appearance before the Tribunal of thy Maker Sovereign and Judge in the other World Awful Tidings what awakening and startling words are these must I O my Soul quickly Dye and after that be judg'd go from my Death-bed to the Bar of an Infinitely Holy Just and Jealous God must my Life be examined all my Actions scanned and my everlasting state in that moment be determined must a Righteous and Irreversible Doom pass upon me must I Dye in one moment and in the next be Judg'd and shall not I search my ways examine my state take a survey of my Heart and Life before I pass to that final and irreversible Judgment and hold up these guilty hands of mine at God's Tribunal shall I not endeavour to know what has been amiss that I may confess be humbled for repent of it and beg pardon Lord help me a sick Lord for Jesus sake help me a dying man in this serious solemn work help me to find out my sins to repent and implore thy mercy through the Lord Jesus Christ who is my only hope in Life at Death and after Death I was born a sinner and came into the World guilty and polluted behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my Mother Psal 51. 5. conceive me As I am a Child of Apostate Adam dreadful thought I am unlike to the Holy and Blessed God and resemble the Devil the worst of Beings and had I no other sin this were enough to shame confound silence and condemn me But alas have I not found this original sin active in my Heart and fruitful in my Life with what force and violence has it hurried me to the commission of sin oh
what cursed streams has this bitter Fountain been sending forth how much how often and how greatly have I offended God! what one Commandment is there I have not broken in thought word or deed my sins are more than can be numbred and how many Legions of Lusts are quartered in my Heart oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Jer. 9. 1. Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night Did I not once O my Soul live as without God in the World how many and great were the sins of my unregenerate state what a sinner Lord what a vile sinner was I then were not all the faculties of my Soul and Members of my Body the Instruments of Unrighteousness unto sin Did not sin sit in the Throne sway the Scepter and had it not the entire quiet and peaceable possession of my Heart Was not I a willing Slave an obedient Servant and a Volunteer in any wicked service was I not at the beck of every Lust the will of every Temptation and did not Satan carry me captive at his pleasure during that wretched state how did I forget God and my self Eternity and another World thwart the design of my Creation and cross the end of my being made a Man Was I not sensual carnal and earthly a stranger to an Holy Heavenly Life without any delight in God desire after or care to please him did I not run into Sin as the Horse rushes into the Battle without any fear how long O my Soul how long was I a grief to that blessed Jesus who wept and swet bled groan'd and died for me how did I despise his Grace slight his Love his dying Love spurn at his Bowels and trample on his Blood with what sweet and endearing melting and charming language did he plead with me he called but I did not answer he pleaded but I was not moved his Bowels yearned but my Heart did not relent how oft did the Holy Spirit move and work upon my Heart and how oft did I resist vex quench and grieve him how oft was my Conscience awakened and how soon did it fall asleep again Holy Lord I blush I am ashamed and confounded to look back upon this part of my life I weep Lord I weep I desire to weep bitterly for the sins of my unconverted state I wish again Oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night How many and great have been my sins since my Conversion to and acquaintance with God How oft have I fallen to the dishonour of God the discredit of Religion the wounding of my self and grieving of others how many duties have been neglected and how many carelesly performed in a cold lazy and trifling manner how many of my Talents which might have been improved for the Glory of God my own comfort and the good of others have been wrapped up in a Napkin and buried in the Earth how weak is every Grace and how much evil is mixt with all my good how oft letting down my Spiritual Watch has Satan surpriz'd me and Temptation prevail'd how much have I conformed to the World complied with the sinful customs and fashions of it how much have I lived contrary to my Profession and below my hopes as a Christian what a slow progress have I made in the ways of Holiness how many younger Christians have out-stript got the start of and are gone before me nay have I not shamefully declin'd and backsliden and lost much of my first love zeal and tenderness how frequent and strong have been the workings of Spiritual Sins as unbelief pride passion envy and uncharitableness c. Lord how many have been the sins of this state and how are they aggravated by all that love and mercy thou hast shewn to me and the long experience I have had of thy bounty and goodness Art thou my God and have I affronted my Father and have I displeased thee have I by these sins wounded that Redeemer who died for me grieved that Holy Spirit who has comforted me ah sinful silly Soul what hast thou been doing what an hearty sorrow and unfeigned grief do these sins call for I mourn Lord help me to mourn more thou hast given me the habit of Repentance give me now in this evening of my Life to act and exercise it Oh for a broken Heart and a contrite Spirit oh for inward shame and hearty remorse oh for a melting frame and a bleeding Soul oh that this Rock might be broken and this Heart be turned more and more into an Heart of flesh My time is short my strength little my sins many and great Lord help me to live repenting and die repenting to go to my grave weeping Weeping not tears of despair but tears of Gospel-sorrow which make way for eternal joys I do repent Lord from the bottom of my Soul I do repent let my last repentance be most solemn particular and serious and do thou accept it wash me in these penitential waters and because these muddy waters can't cleanse wash me Lord wash me in the blood of Jesus for that can cleanse from all sin O pardon pardon a dying penitent who confesses and acknowledges his sins and flies to thy mercy through the merits of Christ My sins are gone over mine head as a burden Psal 38. 4. they are too heavy for me Sin is an heavy burden and intollerable but most of all so to a dying man Look upon mine Psal 25. 18. affliction and forgive all my sins If I must weep with one eye Lord let me read my pardon with the other I have deserved Hell and if God should cast me into it I have forfeited Heaven and if God should eternally banish me from that blessed place I must say Righteous art thou O Lord and upright Ps 110. 137. is thy Judgment But save me from the one and bring me to the other for thy mercies sake I find it is written He that Pro. 28. 13. confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall find mercy And again if we confess our sins he is 1 John 1. 9. faithful and just to forgive us our sins This I have done this I will do and shall I not obtain mercy I am ashamed and confounded I loath and abhor my self I repent in dust and ashes I wish I had never done as I have were I to live over my life again Divine grace assisting these Errata's should be corrected I do repent and will not God pardon I do heartily mourn and will not God forgive Oh for a pardon for Jesus sake mercy mercy Lord mercy for a dying sinner who comes unto thee according to the tenor of the Gospel The thing I ask is great and I sinful I wretched I am altogether unworthy but Christ is worthy Lord lo here is the blood which bought my pardon and it has been and is now crying in thine ears with a loud voice Lord
pardon and save yonder penitent sinner and shall my prayer backt with the pleadings of that blood be shut out I have now but a little time my glass is almost run the day is far spent the shadows of the evening are stretched out the night will quickly come Lord be not angry if I renew my request urge thee with thy promise and lie at thy foot till I obtain my pardon and Conscience be enabled and authorized to read it I am miserable and without thy pity must be so for ever and Lord I cannot I will not take a denyal I am thine save me In this sickness I have Ps 119 94. been examining my heart searching my ways and I have done it seriously and impartially what sins I have found out I heartily bewail pardon these and those I have not Who can understand his Ps 19. 12. Errors Lord cleanse thou me from secret faults Blessed Jesus thou great friend and lover of Souls from this my sick and death-bed I look up to thee for help and mercy Oh stand my friend now plead my cause now and let me have the pardon thy blood did purchase thou didst die for me thou wast crucifyed for me and thy blood was shed for me and carest thou not if I now perish May thy Tears Mark 4. 38. Wounds and Blood speak and plead for me for I am sure they will be heard if mine cannot within a few days within a few hours I must appear before an Holy Just and Terrible God and I tremble O my Saviour I tremble to think any one unpardoned sin should meet me at that Tribunal Oh procure my pardon for me before I die if Satan meet me there to accuse me I know thou wilt answer him and plead for me But if any one unpardoned sin meet me there it will condemn me and I am lost and lost for ever I am not sinless I have not perfectly obeyed the Law but I am not impenitent To exercise repentance for my sin has been my daily work ever since my first conversion and it has been so particularly in this present sickness My heart hath been turned from the love of sin and now I loath it more than ever there 's nothing troubles afflicts and grieves me so much as sin vile sin cursed sin thou hast cost me more tears sighs and groans than all my pains have done I Repent I Repent Lord I do repent Oh! pity and spare spare and pardon pardon and love love and save me for ever Have mercy upon me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies and blot out Psal 51. 1. all my sin Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven whose sin is covered Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not Psal 32. 1 2. iniquity Blessed he and only he is the blessed man though he be a poor man a pained man a sick man a dying man yet he is a blessed man Oh that this blessedness might be mine I am now sick and I have no hope of recovery my body grows weaker and weaker and nature sensibly decays this earthly Tabernacle shakes and it will quickly tumble Death Pale and Grim Death is posting towards me I am near unto eternity but I cannot die I dare not step into the other unseen Eternal World with out a pardon Believing O my God that word of thine that word which to me is of more worth than a thousand Worlds Let the wicked forsake his way and the Psal 55. 7 unrighteous man his thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon I beg and through the mediation of thy Christ and my Jesus will expect the pardon of all my sins Let it be unto me according to thy word in which thou hast caused thy Servant to hope Amen IV. Of submission to the Divine will as to the time of our Death Many reasons to persuade to such an holy frame and resigning temper Objections Answered Suitable Petitions The Triumph and last work of FAITH I am now on my last bed this sickness for ought I do or can understand will be unto Death The warrant is issued out the commission sealed I am a dying man every moment that passeth away every clock that strikes every breath I draw every pulse that beats tells me death is near at hand and having given thanks to God for all his mercies having unseignedly repented of all my sin and begged pardon in the name and through â—he blood of Jesus and having now some hope and assurance of it what have I further to do What becomes me as a Christian as a righteous man that hath hope of great and glorious things beyond the grave but to submit to the divine good pleasure and saying The will of the Lord be done What language becomes Acts 21. 14. such an one but this O Lord who art the fountain of Life to all thy Creatures I am thine to live or die when and as thou wilt thou gavest me my Life and it is fit thou shouldst take it from me when thou wilt and as thou pleasest I submit to thy will obey thy summons and I would not live a day an hour a moment longer than God would have me God hath ordered the various circumstances of my Life in the best manner things have been much better with me than if I had been left to my own will and choice and I leave it to this wise and good God to order the circumstances of my Death To die now may be better for me than to live longer and if infinite wisdom judge it so I will readily comply and chearfully put off this Earthly Tabernacle Submissive language happy frame blessed temper thus it ought to be with all but alas how few attain to this nay how do the most even of Christians come far short of it how willing are they to live how loth to die how extremely desirous to stay here how loath to depart how passionately desirous to have a new lease granted when the old one is exspiring and almost out For one that in good earnest says I long I long to die I am willing even now to be dissolved how many with tears in their eyes cry not yet Lord not yet Oh spare me that I may recover Ps 39. 13. strength before I go hence and be no more Thus with shame and sorrow must I confess it hath been with me but in this my present sickness Lord help me to overcome my fears of Death wean me from this vain World mortify my fond affection to this present Life and oh raise and quicken in me holy earnest desires after a better Holy Paul had a desire to depart and be with Christ Oh that Phil. 1. 23. now it might be so with me let me be able to say Lord I accept the punishment of my sin I kiss the rod lie at thy foot submit
must not now pass from me I may imitate my dear Saviour in the like circumstances chearfully saying Father not my will but thine be done The arguments I have â—uk 22. 42. used are weighty and serious sufficient to convince my judgment stop my mouth and make me silent but after all O pity pardon and help me I find I am backward and loth to die now Lord make me content content that 's too little make me desirous to die and to die now God forbid that after all my Soul should be violently rent and torn from me Lord Let me have such a firm belief of a future happiness such lively hopes and clear evidences of my right and title to it such a burning and flaming love to thee my God to thee my Saviour such pleasing foretasts of Heavenly joys such a reviving prospect of that glorious future state that I might overcome the fears of Death the terrors of the Grave and Triumph over both That I may long and pant desire groan and wish to be with Christ which I must and do acknowledge to be far better Lord inspire my departing Soul with that Faith Hope and Love that I may now glorifie Thee credit Religion and commend thy holy Ways that I may strengthen the weak and encourage the fearful by a chearful and willing comfortable and triumphant departure Sanctifie these afflictions and pains and this present sickness to me and let them put me upon longing after Heaven where are none answer my doubts expel my fears arm and fortifie comfort and encourage my weak drooping and trembling Soul and the nearer I draw to my end the more warm and earnest let my desires be Oh for thy holy Spirit to excite those Heavenly and Spiritual desires in me which I cannot raise in my self O thou almighty and victorious Jesus who hast conquer'd Death and the Grave enable me in these my last moments to triumph over them saying O DEATH where is thy Sting O GRAVE where is 1 Cor. 15. 55. thy victory Many experiences have I had of thy Grace and Mercy love and kindness O my Saviour forsake me not now in this my last extremity O Blessed Jesu who hast been my support and help in Life be my Strength my Comfort and my Joy at Death While in this my last sickness I have been speaking sometimes to my self and sometimes unto God I have obtain'd the Mercy I wanted and laboured after a willingness to die now my doubts are answered my fears remov'd my sins are pardoned God is reconciled my Conscience pacified my hopes are lively my evidences clear my assurance strong and my joy full and now thanks be to God how do I long to dye shall I be afraid of Death What! of a baffled vanquisht and conquer'd Enemy I am not I was but now blessed be God I am not Am I a Member of Christ a Son of God an Heir of Heaven and shall I be afraid of thee O Death through Grace O mine Enemy I am not Methinks I am already in the Suburbs of Heaven and I long to enter into that holy City I have a prospect of yonder blessed World and this prospect is so ravishing and transporting that I wish for a present possession No Heir ever longed more for his Inheritance no Captive ever longed more for Liberty no sick and pained man ever longed more for ease than I now do for Heaven When I am there what charming musick shall I hear what glorious sights shall I behold what blessed and delightful company shall I have what joy will enter into possess and fill this Soul of mine what a Mansion of Light and Glory shall I enter into when I have put off this earthly Tabernacle how does a thought of this make my fettered and yet imprisoned Soul cry out How long Lord how long farewel vain World farewel not Earth but Heaven is my home and I long groan and wish to be there Is the time of my departure at hand Is the time come that I must die Lord I do submit thy holy will be done My Body I chearfully bequeath unto the dust O faithful grave keep what I commit unto thee this Body till my Lord shall come and then deliver it up In the dust shall this flesh of mine sleep and rest in hope My Soul my pretious and immortal Soul O my God I resign to thee into thine hand I commit my Spirit Thou Psal 31. 5. hast redeemed me O Lord God of truth Father into 〈◊〉 â—ands I commit my Spirit Lord Luk. 23. 46. Acts 7. 59. Jesus 〈…〉 Must I die now Lord 〈◊〉 in thy will believing thy promise trusting in thy mercy thro' the ALL-SUFFICIENT MERITS of thy Son and my Saviour I wait wait Lord I long for the happy moment And my last Petition and dying prayer shall be Come Lord Jesus come qickly Rev. 22. 20. 1 Thes 4. 17. that I might be for ever with the Lord come Lord Jesus come quickly Amen Amen FINIS