Lord that thou shouldest impart any heauenly comfort vnto me I remember not that I haue euer done any good but haue bene alwayes prone to sinne and slouthfull in my amēdment It is true and I cannot deny it If I should say otherwise thou wouldest stand against me Iob. 9. there would be none to defend me What haue I deserued for my sinnes but hell and euerlasting fire I confesse in the truth of my hart that I am worthy of all scorne and contempt and it is vnfit that I should be remēbred amongst thy deuout seruants And although I be vnwilling to heare this yet notwithstanding for the loue of truth I will lay open my sinnes against my selfe that I may the better deserue to obtaine thy mercy 3. What shall I say being guilty and full of confusion I can vtter out of my mouth no other word but this I haue sinned Psal 50. Lord I haue sinned Iob. 10. haue mercy on me pardon me suffer me a little that I may bewaile my griefe before I go vnto the land of darknesse and be couered with the shaddow of death What doest thou require of a guilty miserable sinner but that he be contrite and sorrowfull and do humble him selfe for his offences In true contrition and hūblenes of heart is bred a hope of forgiuenes a troubled cōscience is reconciled againe grace lost is restored man is defended frō future wrath and God and the penitent soule meet togeather in the holy kisse of peace 4. Humble contrition for sinns is an acceptable sacrifice vnto thee Psal 50. o Lord sauouring much sweeter in thy sight then burning frankincense This is also the pleasant oyntment Luc. 7. which thou wouldest haue powred vpon thy sacred feet Psal 50. for thou neuer despisest a contrite and humble hart There is a place of refuge from the face of the wrath of our enemie there is amended and washed away whatsoeuer vncleanes hath bene elswhere gathered and whatsoeuer is defiled CHAP. LIII That the grace of God is not giuen to those that sauour of earthly things SONNE †Out Lord. my grace is precious it suffereth not it selfe to be mingled with externall things nor earthly comforts Thou oughtest therfore to cast away all hinderances of grace if thou desire to receaue the infusion therof Choose therfore a secret place to thy selfe loue to liue alone with thy selfe desire the conuersation of none but rather powre out deuout praiers vnto God that thou maist keep thy mind compunct and thy conscience pure Esteeme the whole world as nothing Matt. 19. preferre my seruice before all outward things for thou canst not attend vnto me and be delighted also in transitory vanities Thou oughtest to sequester thy selfe frō thy acquaintance friends to keep thy mind depriued of all temporall cōfort So the blessed Apostle Peter required 1. Pet. 2. that the faithfull of Christ should keep themselues as strangers Pilgrimes in this world 2. O how great a confidence shall he haue at the houre of death whome no affection to any earthly thing detaineth in the world But the weake mind is not yet capable of so retired a hart neither doth the fleshly person vnderstand the freedome of a recollected mind Notwithstanding if he will be truly spirituall he ought to renounce as wel that which is farre off as that which is neerest vnto him and to beware of no man more then of himselfe If thou perfectly ouercome thy selfe thou shalt with more ease subdue the rest It is a glorious victory to triumph ouer our selues For he that keepeth himselfe subiect in such sort that his sēsualitie be subdued to reason reason in al things be obedient to me he is truly a conquerour of himselfe Lord of the world 3. If thou desire to mount vnto this height of perfection thou must begin manfully and set the axe to the root that thou maist plucke vp and destroy thy hidden and inordinate inclination to thy selfe and vnto all priuate and earthly good Of this vice that man too inordinately loueth himselfe almost all dependeth whatsoeuer is wholy to be ouercome which being once ouercome subdued there will presently ensue great peace and tranquillity But for that few endeauour perfectly to die vnto themselues to forsake themselues wholy therfore they remaine intangled in themselues and cannot be lifted vp in spirit aboue themselues but he that desireth to walke freely with me it is necessary that he mortify all his inordinate affections and not adhere vnto any creature by priuate loue CHAP. LIV. Of the different motions of Nature and Grace SONNE †Our Lord. marke diligently the motions of thine owne nature and my grace for in very contrary and secret manner these are moued and can hardly be discerned but by him that is spirituall and inwardly enlightned All men desire that which is good and pretend some good in all their words and deeds therfore vnder pretence of good many are deceaued Nature is deceiptfull and seduceth intangleth deceaueth many and alwaies proposeth her selfe for her end but grace walketh with great sincerity and auoideth all shew of euill pretendeth not deceipts doth all things purely for God in whome also she finally resteth 2. Nature will not willingly dye nor be kept in nor ouercome nor be subiect to any nor be subdued but grace laboureth to mortifie her selfe resisteth sensuality seeketh to be subiect is willing to be ouercome and will not vse her owne liberty she loueth to be kept vnder discipline and desireth not to rule any but alwaies to liue and remaine wholy subiect vnto God and for God is ready humbly to bow vnto all men Nature striueth for her owne commodity and considereth what profit she may reape by another but grace considereth not what is profitable and commodious vnto herselfe but rather what is profitable to many Nature willingly receaueth honour reuerence but grace faithfully attributeth all honour and glory vnto God 3. Nature feareth shame and contempt but grace reioyceth to suffer reproach for the name of Iesus Nature loueth idlenes and bodily rest but grace cannot be idle but willingly imbraceth labour Nature seeketh to haue those things that be curious and precious abhorreth that which is meane and base but grace delighteth in plaine hūble things despiseth not course and meane nor refuseth to wear that which is old torne Nature respecteth the things of this world reioyceth at earthly gaine sorroweth for losse is moued with euery little iniurious word but grace thinketh on that which is euerlasting and cleaueth not to that which fadeth with time she is not troubled with losse nor exasperated with iniuries for that she hath placed her treasure and ioy in heauen where nothing perisheth 4. Nature is couetous and doth more willingly receaue then giue she loueth proper and priuate things but grace is pittifull liberall to all auoydeth singularity is content with a little
thy Creatour and be faithfull vnto him that thou maist attaine vnto true happines CHAP. II. That truth speaketh inwardely without noyse of VVordes SPEAKE Lord The Seruant for thy seruant heareth I am thy seruant graunt me vnderstanding that I may know thy testimonies 1. Reg. 3. Ps 118. Stir vp my hart to heare the wordes of thy mouth Let thy speach descend as the dew into my soule The children of Israel in times past said vnto Moyses Speake thou vnto vs and we shall heare thee Let not our Lord speake vnto vs least perhaps we dye Exod. 20. Not so Lord not so I beseech thee But rather with the Prophet Samuel 1. Reg. 3. I humbly and earnestly intreat speak Lord for thy seruant heareth Let not Moyses speake vnto me nor any of the Prophets but thou rather speake my Lord God the inspirer and enlightener of all the Prophets for thou alone without them canst perfectly instruct me but they without thee can profit nothing 2. They can pronounce words but they giue not spirit They speake maruelous well but if thou hould thy peace they inflame not the hart They deliuer the letters but thou openest the sense They bring forth mysteries but thou disclosest the vnderstanding of sealed thinges They declare thy commaundemēts but thou helpest to fulfill them They shew the way but thou giuest strength to walke it They worke only exterioutly but thou instructest and enlightnest the hartes They water outwardly but thou giuest fruitfulnes They sound forth wordes but thou giuest vnderstanding to the hearing 3. Let not therfore Moyses speak vnto me but thou my Lord God the euerlasting truth least perhaps I should dye and become without fruit if I be warned outwardly only and not inflamed within least the word heard and not fulfilled knowen and not loued belieued not obserued should increase my iudgment Speake therefore Lord for thy seruant heareth 1. Reg. 3. for thou hast the words of euerlasting life Speake vnto me to the comfort of my soule and to the amendment of my whole life Ioan. 6. and to thy prayse and glory and euerlasting honor CHAP. III. That the wordes of God are to be heard with humility and that many weigh them not SONNE †Our Lord. heare my words wordes of great comfort excelling al the knowledg of the Philosophers and wise men of this world My wordes are spirit and life not to be waighed by the vnderstanding of man Ioan. 6. They are not to be drawne to vaine liking but to be heard with silence and to be receaued with al humility and great affection And I said * The Seruant Psal 93. Blessed is the man whō thou shall instruct O Lord and shalt teach thy law that thou maist giue him quietnes from euill daies and that he be not destroyed vpon earth 2. I saith our †Our Lord. Heb. 1. Lord haue taught the Prophets from the beginning and cease not continually to speake to euery one but many are deafe and giue no eare to my speach The greater number doe more willingly listen to the world then to God follow sooner the desires of their fleshe then the will of God The world promiseth temporall small things and is serued with great diligence I promise most high and eternall thinges and the hartes of men are nothing moued with it Who is he that serueth and obeyeth me with equall care to that with which the world the Lords therof are serued Esa 23. Blush Sidon saith the sea And if thou aske the cause heare wherefore For a little prebend a long iorney is vndertaken for euerlasting life many will scarce once lift a foote from the ground A thing of small value is sought after greedily for a penny somtimes there is great contention for a vaine thing and sleight ptomise men doubt not to toile day and night 3. But alas for an vnchangeable good for an inestimable reward for the highest honour and glory without end they are loath to take the least paines Blush therefore flouthfull and complayning seruant that they are found more ready to distruction then thou to life They reioyce more at vanity then thou at truth Rom. 1. Matt. 24. And yet they are somtimes frustrated of their hope but my promise deceaueth none nor sendeth him away empty that trusteth in me I will giue that which I haue promised I will fulfill that which I haue said Apoc. 2 but to him that remaines faithfull in my loue to the end I am the reward of all good Matt. 5.15 and do try my deuout seruants in forcible proofes 4. Write my words in thy hart and thinke diligently of them for they will be necessary in time of tēptation What thou vnderstandest not when thou readest thou shalt know in the day of visitation I am wont to visite my elect two seuerall waies to wit with temptation and comfort And I dayly read two lessons vnto them one reprehending their vices another exhorting them to the increase of vertues He that hath my words despiseth them hath within himselfe that shall iudg him at the last day A prayer to implore the grace of denotion 5. Lord * The Seruant my God thou art all that I can desire Who am I that dare speak vnto thee I am thy poorest seruant Gen. 18. and a most vile worme much more poore and contemptible then I can or dare expresse Remember Lord that I am nothing haue nothing and can do nothing Thou alone art good iust and holy thou canst do all things performest all things leauing only a sinner voide of all good Call to mind thy mercies and fill my hart with thy grace who wilt not that thy workes be voyd 6. How can I support my selfe in this miserable life vnlesse thy mercy and grace comfort me Psal 68. Turne not thy face from me delay not thy visitation draw not away thy comfort least my soule become as earth without water vnto thee Lord teach me to fulfill thy will Ps 142. teach me to line worthily and humbly in thy sight for thou art my wisdome thou dost perfectly know me and didest know me before the world was made and before I was borne in the world CHAP. IIII. That we ought to line in truth and humility in the sight of God SONNE * Our Lord. walke in my sight in sincerity and truth and euer seeke me in playnes of hart Gen. 17. Sap. 1. He that walketh in my sight in truth shall be defended from euill incursions and truth shall deliuer him from seducers and from the detractions of the wicked 1. Ioan 8. If truth shall haue deliuered thee thou shalt be truly free and shalt not care for vaine speaches of men Lord * The Seruant it is true According as thou saist so I beseech thee let it be done with me and keepe me bring me to a happy end Let thy truth teach
will become of thee when that light shal leaue thee Iob. 17. And when that doth happen remember the light may returne againe which for thy instruction and my glory I haue withdrawne for a time 5. Such proofe is often more profitable then if thou shouldest alwaies enioy prosperity according to thy desire For merits are not to be waighed in a man by the number of visions and comforts which he hath or by his knowledg in Scriptures or by his being placed in high degree but in that he is grounded in true humility and replenished with diuine charity if he alwaies purely entirely seeke the honour of God if he esteeme himselfe nothing and with a sincere hart despise himselfe and reioyce more to be despised and humbled by others Ps 83. then to be honoured CHAP. VIII Of a meane conceipt of our selues in the sight of God SHAL * The Seruant I speake vnto my Lord sith I am dust and ashes If I esteeme better of my selfe behould thou staÌ„dest against me Gen. 18. and my iniquities beare true witnes neither can I speake against it But if I abase and esteeme nothing of my selfe cast of all selfe-conceipt and as I am accompt my selfe to be dust thy grace will be fauourable vnto me and thy light will be neere vnto my hart and all estimation how little soeuer shal be swallowed vp in the depth of my nothing and perish euerlastingly There thou shewest my selfe vnto me what I am what I haue byn and whither I am come for alas I am nothing and I knew it not And if I be left to my selfe behould I become nothing a masse of infirmity But if thou suddainly looke vpon me I am presently made strong and filled with new ioy And it is a great meruaile that I am so suddainly lifted vp and so graciously imbraced by thee that of myne owne waight alwaies sinke downward 2. Thy loue is cause heereof freely preuenting me and releeuing me in so many necessities preseruing me also from grieuous dangers and as I may truely say deliuering me from innumerable euills For surely by euill louing my selfe Ioan. 12. I lost my selfe and by seeking thee alone sincerly louing thee I haue found both my selfe and thee and for thy loue haue more deeply brought my selfe to nothing For that thou o most sweet Iesu dealest with me aboue all desert and aboue all that I dare hope and request 3. Blessed be thou my God for although I be vnworthy of all good yet the noblenes of thy bounty and thy infinite goodnes neuer ceaseth to do good euen to the vngratefull Matt. 5. and to them that be turned away far froÌ„ thee Turne vs vnto thee o Lord that we may be gratefull humble and deuout for thou art our safety our power and our strength CHAP. IX That all things are to be reserred vnto God as vnto the last end SONNE †Our Lord. I ought to be thy chiefest and last end if thou desire to betruly blessed With this intention thy affection shall be purified which is oftentimes inclined inordinatly to it selfe and vnto creatures For if in any thing thou seeke thy selfe thou presently faintest and driest vp within thy self Direct therfore all thinges chiefly vnto me for I am he that haue giuen all Eccles 1. Consider euery thing as flowing from the highest good and therfore all things are to be reduced vnto me as vnto their first beginning 2. Out of me as out of liuing fountaines the litle and the great the poore the rich Ioan. 4. do draw the water of life and they that willingly and freely serue me shall receaue grace for grace 1. Cor. 1. But he that will glory out of me or be delighted in any particuler good shall not be grounded in true ioy nor enlarged in his hart but shall be many waies hindred and straitned Thou oughtest therfore to ascribe no good vnto thy selfe nor attribute the praise of vertue vnto any man but giue all vnto God without whome man hath nothing I haue bestowed all 1. Cor. 4. and will that all be returned to me againe and with great seuerity I require thanks 3. This is the truth that putteth to flight vaine-glory And if heauenly grace and true charity enter in there shall be no enuy nor grudging of hart neither shall there be any place for selfe loue For diuine charity ouercommeth all enlargeth all the forces of the soule If thou vnderstand aright in me alone thou wilt reioyce in me alone thou wilt hope for none is good Matt. 19. Luc. 18. but God alone who is to be praised aboue all things and to be blessed in all CHAP. X. That despising the world it is sweet to serue God NOVV * The Seruant I will speake againe Lord and will not be silent I will say in the eares of my God my Lord and my King that is on high O how great is the multitude of thy sweetnes Lord Ps 30. which thou hast hidden for those that feare thee But what art thou to them that loue thee What to them that serue thee with their whole hart Truely vnspeakable is the sweetnes of thy conteÌ„plation which thou bestowest on them that loue thee Gen. 1. In this chiefly thou hast shewed me the sweetnes of thy charity Ps 118. Matt. 15. for that when I was not thou madest me and when I went astray far off from thee thou broughtest me back againe that I might serue thee and hast commanded me to loue thee 2. O fountaine of euerlasting loue what shall I say of thee How can I forget thee that hast vouchsafed to remember me euen when I withered away and perished Thou hast vsed mercy with thy seruant beyond all the expectation of my hart and hast bestowed thy grace and friendship beyond all merit What shall I returne vnto thee for this grace Psal 115. For it is not graunted to euery one to forsake all things to renouÌ„ce the world and to vndertake a life of religion and perfection Is it much that I serue thee whome all creatures are bound to serue It ought not to seeme much vnto me to serue thee Iudic. 16. but this rather seemeth much and meruailous vnto me that thou vouchsafest to receaue into thy seruice one so poore and vnworthy to ioyne him with thy beloued seruants 3. Behould all is thine which I haue 1. Cor. 4. and wherby I serue thee And yet in very deed thou rather seruest me then I thee Behould heauen earth which thou hast created for the seruice of man are ready at hand and do daily performe whatsoeuer thou dost command and this is little Ps 90. Heb â—1 yea thou hast also appointed the Angels to the seruice of man But that which exceedeth all is that thou thy selfe hast vouchsafed to serue man and promised to giue thy selfe vnto him 4 What shall I
standeth heareth him Ioan. 3. reioyceth with ioy for the voice of the Bridegrome so I also wish to be inflamed with great and holy desires and to offer my selfe vp to thee with my whole hart Wherfore I offer also and present vnto thee the ioyes feruent desires excesses of mind spirituall illuminations heauenly visions of all deuout harts with all the vertues and praises exercised and to be exercised by all creatures in heauen and earth for my selfe and all such as are commended to me in prayer that by all thou maist be worthily praised and glorified for euer 4. Receaue my Lord God the affections of my hart and desires which I haue to giue thee infinite praise and thankes which according to the measure of thy vnspeakable greatnesse are due vnto thee These I yield thee and desire to yield thee euery day and moment and I doe intreate and inuite all the heauenly spirits and all thy deuout seruants to giue thankes and praises togeather with me 5. Let all People Tribes and Tongues praise thee and magnify thy holy and sweet name with great ioy and feruent deuotion and let all that reuerently and deuoutly celebrate thy most high Sacrament and receaue it with full faith deserue to find grace and mercy at thy hands and pray humbly for me sinfull creature And when they shall haue obtained their desired deuotion and ioyfull vnion and depart from thy sacred heauenly table well comforted and meruailously refreshed let them vouchsafe to remember my poore and needy soule CHAP. XVIII That a man be not a curious searcher of this Sacrament but an humble follower of Christ submitting his sense vnto faith The voice of the Beloued THOV oughtest to beware of curious and vnprofitable searching into this most profound Sacrament if thou wilt not sink into the depth of doubt Prou. 25. He that is a searcher of Maiesty◠shal be oppressed by glory God is able to worke more then man can vnderstand A pious and humble inquiry of truth is tolerable so he be alwaies ready to be taught and do endeauour to walke in the sound pathes of the ancient Fathers doctrine 2. Bessed is that simplicity that forsaketh the difficult waies of questions and goeth on in the plaine and assured path of Gods Commandements Many haue lost deuotion whilst they would search after high things Faith and sincere life are exacted at thy hands not height of vnderstanding nor the depth of the mysteries of God If thou doest not vnderstād nor conceaue those things that are vnder thee how shalt thou be able to comprehend those that are aboue thee Submit thy selfe to God and let thy sense be subiect to faith and the light of knowledge shall be giuen thee in that degree as shall be profitable and necessary for thee 3. Some are grieuously tempted about faith and the Sacrament but this is not to be imputed to thē but rather to the enemie Do not regard nor dispute with thy thoughts neither do thou giue answere to the doubts moued by the enemie but belieue the words of God belieue his Saintes and Prophets and the wicked Serpent will fly from thee It is oftentimes very profitable to the seruant of God to suffer such things For he tempteth not Infidels and sinners whome he already securely possesseth but he sundry waies tempteth vexeth the faithfull and deuour 4. Go forward therfore with a sincere and vndoubted faith and come to the Sacrament with vnfaigned reuerence And whatsoeuer thou art not able to vnderstand cōmit fecurely to Almighty God God deceaueth thee not he is deceaued that trusteth too much to himselfe Ps 19. c. 118. God walketh with the simple Matt. 11. reuealeth himselfe to the humble giueth vnderstanding to little ones openeth the senses of pure minds and hideth grace from the curious and proud Humane reason is weake and may be deceaued but true sayth cannot be deceaued 5. All reason naturall search ought to follow faith not to go before it nor impugne it For faith and loue do chiefly excell worke in a hidden manner in this most blessed and excellent Sacrament God who is euerlasting and of infinite power doth great and inscrutable things in heauen and in earth and there is no searching of his wonderfull workes If the workes of God were such as might be easily comprehended by humane reason they were not to be called wonderfull and vnspeakable FINIS