long patience in thy great goodnesse in thy rich mercies in thy fatherly affections towards me I am wofully sunk into the deep mire of sin where no stay is Lord uphold me by thy grace that I perish not eternally O deliver me for thy mercy sake for I am helplesse and poor and my heart is wounded within me Let my soul live and it shall praise thee and thy judgements shall help me As thou hast raised me by thy power so rule me by thy providence that thy grace may be far sweeter with my sufferings than my pleasure with my sins Restrain my loose desires renew my good purposes assist my weak endeavours correct mine errours sustain my infirmities give me a godly sorrow for my sins a thankfull heart for thy favours a filiall fear of thy judgements a sincere love to thy laws an holy constancy and happy perseverance to my lives end Amen CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Presumption ALass my Soul how vain art thou how wretched to presume upon the mercy of thy God how canst thou be so foolish to believe that God will favour thee in that which he so severely punished in his own Son thinkest thou that pretious bloud was spilt to cherish sin Be not mistaken for as Christ Iesus came into the world to save sinners so he came allso to call sinners to repentance Doest thou argue well to say because God is mercifull long-suffering and of great goodnesse therefore I will abuse his mercy in sinning his patience by my long continuing in sin his great goodnesse by my great unthankfulnesse is not this to mock his mercy to bid defiance to his justice to arm him with fury to invite him to revenge Assure thy self the longer he is in drawing his Bow the more forcible will he send his Arrow Deceive not thy self therefore God will not be so mercifull to thee as to be unjust to himself All the waies of God are Mercy and Truth Mercy to support thy weaknesse Truth to correct thy wilfulnesse There is therefore Mercy with him that he may be feared not that he may be slighted not that he may be shamefully dishonoured How full of falshood is thy bold presumption thou criest Peace Peace when sudden War is ready to destroy thee There is no peace to the wicked saith my God Heaven and Earth are up in Arms against thee and there is none left not so much as thine own Conscience to deliver thee Thou hast gratiously received the knowledge of the truth thou hast grievously sinned against the light of that knowledge thou hast wofully continuâ—d in thy sins without remorse of conscience without desire of repentance and there now remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a searfull looking for of judgement and violent fire that shall devour the Adversaries O remember that the Angels for one sin were thrown down from Heaven and that Adam for one sin was cast out of Paradise Thy sins O my Soul are innumerable thou hast had line upon line and precept upon precept and yet thou addest sin upon sin and transgression upon transgression Thou hast sinned against many pretious promises against many gratious performances against many fearfull judgements thou hast grieved that good Spirit by which the Saints are sealed up unto the day of redemption All these are heavy aggravations upon thee to fill up the measure of thy sins and hasten the swiftnesse of thy punishments Ah how sad is thy condition thou hast not onely wearied out thy self in wickednesse but thy God allso hear what he faith unto thee how he complaineth of thee by his holy Prophet Behold I am pressed under you as a cart is laden with sheaves Amos 2.13 and yet thou still addest more load but as thou addest sin upon sin so thou callest for wrath upon wrath as thou hast made a mock at sin so God will make a mock at misery as thou hast thy measure in sinning so God will have his measure in punishing Consider what he saith unto thee by his Prophet Judgement will I lay to the rule and Righteousnesse to the ballance Esay 28.17 18. As he hath a bottle for thy tears so he hath a bag for thy transgressions Job 14.17 their growth is recorded their number accounted their nature examined all sealed up against the great and fearfull day of the revelation of the righteous judgement O consider this thou that forgettest God lest he tear thee in pieces and there be none to deliver thee Think how suddenly thou mayst be snatcht away by those infernall Fiends to endlesse torments and then what tears will be enough to weep thine obsequies to quench those everlasting burnings But then alass instead of tears of compassion thou shalt have mocks of derision the cursed Devils will laugh thee to scorn the blessed Saints and Angels will rejoyce at thy confusion and God himself who onely can relieve thee will for ever hide his tender mercy from thee Awake therefore out of thy sleep of death look well into thy lost estate thou art now near unto making up the measure of thy sins beyond which thou canst not passe Thy God hath said to thee as to the Sea hitherto malt thou goe and here shalt thou stay thy proud waves Think how suddenly thou mayest be called to thy last account even this very hour for ought thou knowest those cursed Spirits may convey thee to thy fiery Prison O think how powerfully the wrath of God will then seize upon thee how wofully thou wilt excrutiate thy self with apprehension of thy former folly and last of all how wretchedly thou art forever banisht from eternall joyes to suffer with the damned in eternall torments Lâ—t this move thee to amend thy wicked wayes to cry mightily to God for mercy to judge thy self to condemn thy self that thou mayst not be judged of the Lord to Kiss the Son lest he be angry and so thou perish from the right way If his wrath be kindled yea but a little blessed are all they that put their trust in him Turn therefore unto the Lord thy God O my soul for he is gracious and merciful slow to anger and of great kindness and repenteth him of the evil Blessed Lord As an unfeigned sign of my repentance in anguish of heart and bitterness of soul I earnestly desire to search into the secreets of my sinfull thoughts to unbosom all my sins and lay them open to the view of all thy Saints that thou mayst have the glory they the good and I the shame of my confession that so this penitent sense of mine iniquities which I thankfully acknowledge cometh alone from thee may be an evidence unto me that thou wilt also give me pardon for them Lord I willingly confess my self to be a great and grievous sinner mine original defiled my birth polluted mine infancy stained my youth insnared my manhood corrupted mine age besotted Mine imaginations vain my thoughts sinfull my words wicked mine actions abhominable my
pleased O how truly blessed are these enjoyments what soul can be now sad in this enquiry Lord I now solemnly resolve upon this safe this sweet this blessed task I willingly abandon all excuses that may hinder me and joyfully embrace those happy duties which invite me nearer to thy heavenly presence thy yoak is easie and thy burthen light when thy grace hath redeemed me from the bondage of sin and restored me into the glorious liberty of thy child en I shall then find to my souls comfort that thy service is perfect freâ—domâ— from sin from shame from death from hell from all miseries here from all torments hereafter Be warie therefore O my soul and carefull to remove all lets that may disable thee but those especially that turn me from a Christian to a beast Satan hath many wayes to couzen me when he cannot beguile my judgâ—ment he will betray mine affections and lead me by a seeming good in friendly society to aâ—â— call evill in excess and so when he cannot corrupt my intentions he will undoubtedly divert mine actions as well knowing it is impossible for him to be devout who is not temperate Lord by how much Satan is more powerfull and malicious by so much make me more wise and circumspect that my intentions may be good my words gracious my actions vertuous my life holy my death happy Blessed God How large a portion of my little time have I bestowed on sin how eager have I been of it how negligent in asking pardon for it Lord pardon my unmindfulness of holy duties make me more watchfull for the time to come that I may constantly resolve upon amendment of my evill wayes and willingly endure thy fatherly afflictions for them Forgive those sinfull houres that have unfitted me for thy service suffer me not O Lord to wander in the waies of wickedness and when at any time the frailty of my wretched flesh shall tempt me to exceed those blessed bounds which thou hast set me O let thy saving grace restrain me let not this sinfull freedom captivate my precious soul to thy dishonour and mine own deserved shame but let thy gladding Spirit be my joyfull comfort to refresh me in life and protect me in death Make me more zealous more intent upon the wayes of godliness Lord suffer not my pious resolutions to abate with any outward obstacles let me not lean upon these broken reeds but rest on thee the rock of my defence and safety Make me content to leave these earthly vanities for thy sake who wert willing to forgoe Thy heavenly Throne for mine though the frailty of my nature hath too often led me into the bondage of sin yet let the freedome of thy grace now guide me into the footsteps of sorrow that this blessed sorrow may be turned into joy and that this joy the world may not take from me Lord open mine eyes that I may see the blessednesse of goodnesse the perfect freedome of thy service the glorious liberty of thy children so shall I willingly submit to thy commands and joyfully partake of thy rewards Blessed God with humblenesse of soul I offer up my self unto thee Lord Jesus accept of me and so assist me with thy grace that I may wholly dedicate my self to thy glory Amen CHAP. 23. Upon Unchristianlike dulnesse in affliction Lord I cannot live without crosses unlesse I can live without sin when they come therefore I will bid them welcome for thy sake from whom they are sent not one of them can afflict me without thy leave who hast directed their course limited their power let me not repine at that which I have justly dâ—served let me rather rejoyce that thou vouchsafest me this favour if I were not thy child I should not be under thy rod if thou Lord didst not love me thou wouldst not scourge me no outward thing can so well assure me of thy favour as the fellowship of thy sufferings for if I suffer with thee I shall assuredly be glorified together with thee Holy David was in trouble and it was good for him O let not that which was good for him be evill for me Lord if thy physick be bitter yet it is wholsome if it make me heart-sick now it will make me healthfull hereafter if I disturb it not by mine impatience it will work in me the quiet and the happy fruits of true repentance and amendment of mine evill waies it will remember me that I am a Stranger and a Pilgrim here that there is nothing in this life but wearine e and sorrow it will drive me from the penury of sin and tyranny of Satan to the riches of grace and liberty of goodnesse it will encourage me to walk worthy of the richnesse of my calling in Christ Jesus it will make me willing to goe home to thee my heavenly Father where I shall feel no more pain find no more sorrow suffer no more affliction where thou Lord wilt wipe away all tears from mine eyes all grief from my heart Thou O Lord alone knowest my disease and canst best temper my potion each degree must be answered so much sinfull pleasure as I enjoy so much sorrow must I drink and woe be unto me for ever if I drink it not if I tast not of this cup here I shall drink of the very dregs in hell Thou O Lord who hast freely forgiven me my sins hast not fully remitted my punishments thou who didst undergoe the misery of life and the bitternesse of death for me hast neither bought off the one nor taken off the other from me by thy sufferings I am fully and for ever freed from the guilt and torments of sin by mine own corruptions I am liable unto the act of sin and so even unto death allso as a temporall punishment for sin Thou camest not O Lord wholly to abolish sin in me but to become righteousnesse and sanctification and redemption unto me not to abate my sorrows but to uphold my sufferings that I being thereby made conformable unto thee in grace may hereafter be partaker with thee of thy heavenly glory How fearfull ought this to make me to commit sin how carefull to avoid occasions of allurements to it how thankfull how joyfull to receive Gods Fatherly chastisements for it I may here see and joyfully admire the wisedome justice goodnesse mercy of my heavenly Father his justice in punishing sin his wisedome in the proportion and end of this punishment his goodnesse by susteining me under it by redeeming me from it his mercy by making it to work for me a far more exceeding and eternall weight of glory Lord he that can droop under thy Crosse shall never follow thee to thy Crown when I once find the lightnesse of this load by the strength of thy supporting grace I shall then feel to my souls exceeding comfort that one sin is of more weight than an age of sorrow And now Lord I am joyfully prepared for the worst
joyfulness of heart contentedly rely upon thee Enrich my heart with heavenly thoughts give me that better part which cannot be taken from me Lord what thou deniest me of these outward comforts make good unto me by thine inward mercies that all these earthly things may work together to the best to mine advantage so shall my present poverty be an undoubted earnest of my future glory Amen CHAP. 34. Upon Sickness and ungodly repining thereat AS every good and perfect gift is from above so is allso every punishment for sin by every proportion of sorrow For misery cometh not out of the dust neither doth affliction spring out of the earth Iob 1.5 6. That Divine Goodness which wisely and affectionately disposeth all things to the good of his chosen by his holy providence hath suited their degrees limited their powers and appointed their ends every pain in sicknesse every pang in death have their just number weight and measure I't is the Lord let him doe what he will nothing can befall me but by his Divine allowance nothing shall dismay me that my God inflicteth on me if my visitation be grievous I am sure it is safe For He chastiseth me for my profit that I may be partaker of his holiness Blessed be that sorrow which allureth me from sin blessed be that misery that inviteth me to mercy 〈◊〉 kiss it I embrace it and with humbleness of heart I joyfully and patiently submit unto it The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh blessed be the name of the Lord Iob 1.21 I humbly confess Lord that my great and grievous sins have most justly deserved this great and grievous affliction that thou mightest long since have deprived me of my life for depriving thee of thine honour that I am most unworthy of this thy gentle visitation for I am full of rottenness and corruption and therefore can expect no other but to be fill'd with sorrow and affliction thou hast given me a body for thy service but I have defiled it with sin and wickedness thou gavest me a soul enriched with thy heavenly graces but I have defaced it with unthankfulness and disobedience no faculty of my soul no member of my body but are most impure and sinfull in thy sight Thou O Lord knowest all my foolishness and my faults are not hid from thee thou seest how vainly I have mis-spent my pretious time how carelesly abused that continued health which thou hast given me how seriously been busied on the Creature how wretchedly neglected thee the great Creatour Thou hast often weaned me from sin by thy blessed motions by thy gratious admonitions by thy gentle visitations by a wasted body and a wounded soul and yet I still sin without ceasing without sorrowing without repenting such are my faults so grievovs mine offences that I now blush to name those sins before thee by which I have so often and so foolishly rebell'd against thee and now after all this allthough thou hast with lasting patience waited my return and art inforced to withdraw thy present mercy yet thou art moved to behold my present misery evâ—n in thy very wrath thou hast compassion on me Habac. 3.2 while thou seemest by this present sickness to withhold thy favour from me thou gratiously intendest by this blessed means to shew thy self more lovingly unto me for I know Lord that thy judgements are just and that thou of very faithfulnesshast caused me to be troubled Psal 119.75 Theresore Though thou killest me yet will I trust in thee Iob 13.15 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death yet will I fear no evill Psal 23.4 Behold Lord I am willingly and joyfully and thankfully in thy hands doe with me what thou wilt if I live I shall praise thee if I dye I trust I shall goe home unto thee and be for ever blessed with thee O thou Father of mercies and God of all consolations behold me thy sick servant with thine eye of pity and compassion O remember not my former sins but have mercy upon me O Lord and that soon for I am come unto great extremity O Lord my God I am troubled I am bowed down greatly I goe mourning all the day long thou writest bitter things against me and makest me possess the iniquities of my youth O let the sweetness of thy mercy qualifie the sharpness of thy Fatherly correction consider me O Lord that I am but dust full of frailties and infirmities forgive me for thy mercy sake Remember not the sinfull failings of my youth but according to the richness of thy goodness be thou mindfull of me O righteous Father look not on the multitude and hainousness of mine offences but look upon the bitter passion of thy blessed Son he was wounded for my transgressions he was broken for mine iniquities O by his blessed stripes let my sinfull soul be healed Enable me to suffer this thy gentle visitation with that meekness and contentedness of soul that becometh thy child and so bless it unto me that it may bring forth in me the quiet and the happy fruits of righteousness that it may drive my thoughts to immortality and fix my soul upon eternity Blessed Lord my hope is in thee my soul trusteth in thee and under the shadow of thy wings shall be my refuge untill this misery be overpast O Lord consider my complaint for I am brought very low Let my present anguish more prevail with thee to move thee to compassion than my former foolishness to stir thy wrath and indignation O enter not into judgement with thy servant for no flesh is righteous in thy sight Lord I confess my wickedness and am sorry for my sin for thy Names sake O Lord be mercifull unto my sin for it is great my confusion is daily before me and the shame of my face hath covered me my heart is disquieted within me and the fear of death is fallen upon me Lord I am thine O save me for thy mercy sake into thy hands I commend my self for thou hast redeemed me O Lord thou God of Truth Forsake me not O Lord my God be not thou far from me hast thee to help me O Lord God of my salvation O spare me for thy mercy sake that I may recover my strength before I goe hence and be no more seen Amen CHAP. 35. Upon the misery of Life and blessedness of Death I am a Pilgrim and a Stranger here as all my Fathers were I am wearied out with travell and long to be at rest I am lodged here but with great cost and greater danger this seeming sweetnesse hath cost me much true sorrow many bitter sighs and aking hearts disturbance of body distraction of soul I have sought for help here below but can find none no creature on earth to relieve me none to support me I have seen pleasure to be folly and laughter madness men of low degree to be vanity of high degree a lye their understanding vain their labours vain
temptation if the World frown upon them they can chearfully say and faithfully believe that A small thing which the righteous hath is better than great riches of the ungodly Psal 37.16 if it smile that They then account all things but loss and dung in compare of Christ Jesus if outward blessings be present they are humble under them and thankfull for them if absent They can patiently tarry for the Lord for they know he is their help Psal 33.14 and that No good thing will he withhold from them that love him Psal 34.10 if sickness seize upon them The Lord is about their bed and about their path and spieth out all their waies their waies of sin and their waies of sorrow yea He maketh their beds in their sickness by ease to their bodies comfort to their souls if famine threaten them they have God's promise to maintain them For the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him and upon all those that put their trust in his mercy To deliver their souls from dearth and to feed them in the time of security Psal 33.17 18. if sudden danger approach them they have heavenly succour to defend them for The Angell of the Lord tarrieth about all them that fear him to deliver them yea even Death it self is an advantage to them and therefore no waies able to affright them for Pretious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his Saints and therefore Though the Lord kill them yet will they trust in him Iob 13.15 Lord if thy mercy be thus great unto me while I am yet in my sinfull flesh how unspeakable shall I find thy love when my body is become spirituall my joy eternall From these outward enjoyments may well be derived their inward contentments but by their inward refreshments is enjoyed that incomparable inconceivable unutterable sweetness that blessed peace of God and joy in the holy Ghost which passeth all our understanding God's holy Spirit witnessing with their spirits that they are his children and most pretious in his sight and they are now fully perswaded with his blessed Apostle that Neither Death nor Life nor Angels nor Principalities nor Powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other Creature shall be ever able to separate them from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord Rom. 8. 37 38. How full of solid comfort is this blessed assurance how are our souls ravished with apprehension of the sweetness of our present comforts of the fulness of our future joyes these blessed earnests of that ever blessed Spirit are the faithfull pledges of his future embraces far above the reach of Malice to disturb or Devill to destroy Hence it is that our faith is pretious our hope lively our joy glorious our lives safe our deaths blessed and from hence arise those many and those rich endowments of the Saints their zeal burning their love wonderfull their desires earnest their longings insatiate their petitions for enjoyings importunate Lord what can I desire more of thee than what I enjoy from thee I have thy mercy without me and thy mercy within me thy mercy in life and thy mercy in death thy mercy from the beginning thy mercy to the end and thy mercy without end I am even crowned and encompassed with mercy O let me now say with holy David I will allwaies give thanks unto the Lord and his praise shall be ever in my mouth Psal 34.1 Let me not onely praise thee my self but with him allso invite others to praise thee O praise the Lord with me all ye his Saints and let us magnifie his name together Psal 34.3 O tast and see how gratious the Lord is blessed is that man which putteth his trust in him Be glad O yee righteous and rejoyce in the Lord and be joyfull all yee that are true of heart Psal 32.12 And now Lord having had a tast of the sweetness of thy Saints happiness on earth I willingly forsake all to follow them I have too long been straying in the strange pastures of impiety and am now joyfully desirous to be led home to thy fold that I may feed in the green and fresh pastures of thy sacred precepts and drink freely of those waters of comfort in thy blessed promises that I may so drinle that I may never thirst but be fully satisfied with thy grace in this life with thy glory in that to come O let this evill world neither allure me to its vanities nor betray me from thy mercies but as thou hast overcome the world for me so by thy grace assisting it may be allso overcome by me Thou hast indeed told me that I shall mourn in it but my mourning shall be turned into joy and that my joy shall no man take from me Lord I believe help my unbeliefe I embrace thy cross I despise the shame for that glory which is set before me of which I have a safe assurance by the blessed earnest of thy holy Spirit in me To thee O Father Son and holy Spirit one eternall infinite incomprehensible and ever blessed Goodness be all possible praise honour and glory now and for ever Amen O thou great God who hast tender bowels of compassions and multitudes of mercies for us miserable sinners who art not easy to be provoked but ever ready to forgive who sufferest not thy whole displeasure to arise against us but even in thy very judgements remembrest mercy and art then moved with the sight of our misery have mercy upon me a great and grievous finner Lord I have sinned I have transgressed I have done foolishly in departing from thy judgements But righteousness belongeth unto thee O Lord and unto me shame and confusion of face O let thy bowels of compassions remove out thy sight my multitudes of transgressions that I may now appear before thee with a joyfull heart and happy soul Let thy words be sweeter to me than the hony and the hony comb than the vain pleasures and false profits of this life O let my chiefest joy be in thy service my greatest delight to walk in thy waies and all false waies of pollution and uncleanness let me utterly abhorr Give me that inward peace that quietness of conscience which the world cannot take from me that when I am afflicted by it I may not be condemned with it Lord let me faithfully believe and gratiously improve the constancy of thy love in the worlds great unconstancy the richness of thy mercy in this wretched ages misery O that my eye might drop without ceasing that my heart might break forth into complaints and my soul be melted into sorrows for mine own and others sins that have occasioned these heavy judgements these sad complainings of thy people Lord as I have been a great and grievous sinner amongst them so let me be a constant and a true mourner for them as thou hast beheld us sinning so now allso behold us sorrowing
be swallowed up of mercy and frailty of eternity Vnite me in a blessed union with thee that I may constantly adhere unto thee and be for ever graciously accepted of thee O give me a sweet complacency of soul in thy service and a willing and a dutifull obedience unto thy commands Lord give me a thankful heart for all thy mercies to me for thy continuall preservation for thy blessed supportation for the injoyment of thy needfull comforts in this life and for the glorious hopes of those in that to come Blessed God so sublimate my sinfull soul that I may see the richness of thy love in Christ that I may soberly enjoy thy blessings here and faithfully exspect thy joyes hereafter Lord all that I have without thee is meer emptiness and nothing meer vanity and worse than nothing my glory shame mine honor ignominy my health ruin my riches poverty my gain loss my pleasure pain my laughter madness Thou O Lord art all in all unto me O grant that nothing may withdraw my service from thee that no inticing pleasure may allure me that no distracting care or sinfull sorrow may disturb me but that my soul may now and ever safely and contentedly rely upon thee Lord thou seest all my desires and my continuall groanings are not hid from thee Thou alone knowest how weary I am of the sinful travailes of this life how earnestly I long to be at rest with thee Lord pardon all my sins and put an end to all my miseries Come Lord Jesus come quickly wipe away all tears from mine eyes and bring me to that rest of thine which never shall have end Amen CHAP. 12. Upon the great danger of Security DEceive not thy self O my Soul it is not so easy a matter to inherit Heaven as thou imaginest there will be much fighting sweating bleeding much compunction of soul subjection of body hard pressing towards the mark for the price of the high calling in Christ Iesus before this happy conquest can be gained Consâ—der therefore in what condition thou now standest what ground thou hast gained of thy corrupt nature how much better thou art this day than the day past than the year past than thy whole life past nay rather how much worse by adding sin unto sin by drinking in iniquity like water by treasuring up wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of thy righteous judgement Philosophy will tell thee that in all naturall motions the nearer they are to ending the more violent their motion is Divinity will tell thee that in old age thou wilt be fat and well liking what increase of love hast thou to Gods Law what growth of hatred against sin what bosome-sin hast thou parted with what gratious improvement hast thou made in Knowledge Faith Repentance Love and all those other gifts and graces which concur to thy perfection Holy Saint Anselm was often heard to say If I could from hence behold the pains of hell from thence the horrour of sin I would rather embrace those pains than this horrour O what growth of grace was here how far am I from this degree of holinesse how easily perswaded to delude my self with shews and shadows of perfection There is no attaining unto happinesse without holy violence without beating down my body without cherishing my soul if I conquer not here I cannot triumph hereafter Lord when I look into the strictnesse of the lives of thy Saints I much lament the folly of mine own I see holy David in sackcloth and ashes consuming whole daies and nights in mourning for sâ—n washing his bed with his tears afflicted in body tormented in soul grieving crying roaring for unquietnesse of heart Blessed Paul subduing his body by fasting watching praying toyling in the Ministry and thou my blessed Saviour in continuall labour and sorrow for my sake how vain is my trust how false my hope how great my errour to believe I run when I stand still to expect a triumph without a victory a victory without a combat Lord if many that strive to enter in at the strait gate yet shall not be able what shall become of me who am so far from coming to thee that I every day am running from thee who am not onely opposite unto thee but even enmity it self against thee Sometimes I feel the stings and gripings of a wounded conscience I know my self to be a grievous sinner but I quiet my disturbances by thee my Saviour I willingly accept of mercy from thee but grudgingly repine at service to thee thou biddest me indeed to drink freely of the waters of life but thou commandest me allso to make my calling and election sure to work out my salvation with fear and trembling thou ordainest not the end without the means if I rebelliously neglect the one thou mayâ—st most righteously deny me the other Lord what can it profit me to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season when I deprive my soul of happinesse for ever O let this teach me to deplore my dangerous condition to goe on chearfully in the waies of godlinesse to think no cost too much no pains too great no grief too good to purchase Heaven to consider seriously that time once past can never be recall'd that this hour may be my last and bring me to eternity of torments where the stream is stillest there the chanell is deepest where there is least distrust there is usually most danger Satan therefore disturbs me not because I sleep in death But when thou Lord shalt open mine eyes to see the subtilty of this Deceiver I shall then find that the waters of sin are gone over my soul that I am wofully drowned in the great depth of security and can expect nothing without mercy but Satans cruelty and mine own endlesse misery To that sweet mercy therefore I appeal with earnestnesse of soul and humblenesse of heart bemoaning my sinnes bewailing my transgressions O Lord my God when I consider of thy gratious goodnesse and mine own vilenesse I am utterly ashamed to appear in thy presence Thou hast often called me to repentance but I have not hearkned unto thee thou hast lovingly invited me to mercy but I have wilfully refused thou hast clothed me with thine own garment and I have shamefully defiled it thou hast enriched me with thy grace and I have robbed thee of thine honour All this and infinitely more than this thou hast freely done for me the worst of sinners and yet for all this I have rebelliously forsaken thee and most ungratiously been most unmindfull of thee And now Lord seeing that I am dead and putrified in sins and rotten in corruptions what else can I expect from thee but to be buried out of thy sight and yet thou still sayest unto me live O thou blessed Fountain of eternall good convey those happy streams of comfort to my sinfull soul that may revive me from the grave of misery open mine eies that I may see thee in thy
whole life a very sink of sin and all uncleanness When thy hand hath been heavy upon me I have then promised thee amendment when thy rode hath been taken off from me I have again returned to mine evil courses this plainly sheweth that I have hitherto sought but any self in thee and may therefore justly fear to be forsaken of thee I have been undutiful to thee my God envious and uncharitable to my neighbour hypocritical to the world deceitful to mine own soul My thoughts have been wanton my desires lascivious my actions unclean I have been blind to thy precepts deaf to thy promises dumb in thy praises lame in thy services sick at thine ordinances dead to thy imbraces I have broken all my promises I have slighted all thy threatnings I have abused all thy mercies I have rejected all thy favours I have delayed my repentance I have resisted the checks of mine own conscience I have quenched the motions of thy blessed Spirit and turned thy grace into wantonness and yet as if all this had been too little to condemn me I have most daringly presumed on thy mercie and most ungracionsly resolved to go on in my impieties Lord thou hast peomised to forgive those that repent to ease those that are heavy laden to raise up those that are fallen to satisfie those that are hungry and to bind up those that are broken-hearted O Lord my God I earnestly desire to repent I am laden with a burthen insupportable I am feeble and sore smitten with the terrors of thy Law my flesh trembleth and my heart fainteth I am fallen into the very mouth of hell I am sorely wounded with the remorse of mine own accusing conscience and hungry for the sweet refreshings of thy saving grace Thou O Lord hast made me sensible of this my great misery and thou alone canst make me capable of thy rich mercy unto that mercie therefore I appeal with sighs in my soul and sorrow in my heart O thou which art the blessed fountain of all goodness which desirest not the death of a sinner but rather that he should repent and live have mercy upon me O thou which art the Saviour of the world which camest to seek and to save those which were lost have mercy upon me O holy and for ever blessed Spirit thou which feedest and refreshest the distressed soules of thine Elect have mercy on me Let thy power O blessed Father support my weakness thy wisdom O blessed Son supply my folly thy love O blessed Spirit restrain my wilfulness that as thou art eternally one so I may for ever be at unity with thee although most wofully divided in my self Lord as thou hast given me a heart to pray unto thee so give me also a soul to praise thee and a serius resolution to perform those promises I make unto thee Lord sweeten all my sorrows by thy blessed sufferings inlarge my heart with thankfulness for thy many favours strengthen my weak faith restrain my rebellious nature increase daily in me the gifts and graces of thy blessed Spirit indue me with a perfect hatred against all sin and grant dear God that daring and presumptuous sinnes may never have dominion over me Amen CHAP. 14. Upon Quenching the motions of Gods holy Spirit COnsider O my soul from whence these happy thoughts arise and wherefore if they were from nature they must needs savour of corruption but now they are from Grace they summon thee to goodness they beckon thee to immortality Thy God now calleth thee to repentance he offers thee his gracious pardon for thy sin his love his protection his peace his grace his glory He now woeth thee to favour and thou a wofull wretch convicted by thine own accusing conscience condemned by divine Justice rebelliously rejectest all these gracious offers Ah what wofull folly is this nay rather what wilfull madness As there is a time of calling so there will be a time of rejecting the blessed wind of Gods holy Spirit bloweth but where it listeth when it is once gone thou knowest not whether it shall ever return God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy and whom he will he hardeneth Rom. 9. Ah wo be unto that soul whose time of calling is once past a thousand worlds cannot redeem its loss If thou wilt not now embrace these comfortable breathings of his tender love thou shalt then endure the bitter storms of his incensed wrath If thou wilt not embrace his Mercy thou shalt exalt his Justice I called unto you saith God and yee refused to come I held out my hand and ye would not look towards me therefore will I forsake you in your extremity when your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction as a whirlwind when distress and anguish cometh upon you then shall they call upon me but I will not answer they shall seek me early but they shall not find me Prov. 1.24 27 28. Gods clemency and patience in this life will assuredly exasperate his fury and revenge in that to come as his Mercy is unutterable so his Justice is intollerable both are his divine being and therefore both must needs be infinite both are to manifest his glory and therefore both must be eternall From hence is that expression of Saint Vaul It is a fearfull thing to fall into the hands of the living God Heb. 10. From hence it is that wicked men are left unto their own swing in this life that they may be payd home with Gods wrath in that to come Let this teach thee O my soul to welcome these endeared motions of the gladding Spirit to thirst for them to rejoyce in them to think no thought too dear to be disloged for them Blessed Lord I hear thee calling thy holy Apostle Saint Peter and I see him readily forsaking all to follow thee how often hast thou called me a sinfull wretch by the sweet motions of thy blessed Spirit and I have hitherto refused to forsake the very least of all my sins for thy sake who willingly forsookest all the pleasures of this life for mine Long hast thou waited my repentance but I have yet hated to be reformed Mercy hath been offered and I have not esteemed it Judgement hath been threatned and I have not regarded it thou hast not onely whispered unto me by thy gracious visits of thy blessed Spirit but thou hast even called me aloud by thy divine hand of wholsom chastisement By loss of friends by loss of means by loss of health by loss of liberty and without thy rich mercy by the great danger of that greater loss of thy Gospel and thereby of thy gracious presence in this life and thine eternall joys in that to come All this my sins have justly brought upon me and yet for all this my wretched heart desires to be a stranger to thee Lord who am I that thou so graciously invitest unto mercy Lord what am I that now presume to speak unto thee I am so
therefore for if thy faith be weak yet it is living if it be languishing it will assuredly recover more strength if there be blossomes now there will be fruit hereafter these happy beginnings will have gratious proceedings blessed câ—dings Consider what thy God hath promised by his holy Prophet I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax Isay 42.3 Let not the smarting therefore of thy conscience trouble thee remember who it is that searcheth it I have wounded thee saith God and I will heal thee I have broken thee and I will bind thee up Thou art therefore wounded that thou mayst be healed thou art therefore broken that thou mayst be bound up That sore which is insensible is ever most dangerous and that wound which smarteth most is most capable of remedy Blessed Lord I now feel to mine unspeakable comfort that thou hast wounded me with the terrours of thy Law that thou mayst heal me with the comforts of thy Gospell that I am therefore bruised with the burden of my sins that I may be ever eased by the merits of my Saviours sufferings all my imperfections are his all his righteousness is mine I may boldly chalenge it thou wilt not deny it I may safely plead it thou canst not refuse it Consider yet further O my Soul what thy blessed Saviour saith unto thee I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me though he were dead yet shall be live and whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never dye Ioh. 11.25 26. How canst thou doubt now O my Soul when thy Saviour biddeth thee believe and live what canst thou fear when thou hast his promise for thy safety Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of his Word shall fail Let not the number of thy sins affright thee for it is his bloud which clenseth us from all iniquity 1 Ioh. 1.7 9. Let not the nature of thy sins amaze thee for though they were red as scarlet yet he will make them white as snow Let not the long continuance of them stagger thee for At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sins from the bottome of his heart I will blot them out of my remembrance saith the Lord Ezech. 18. Thy Coâ—â—cience shall not trouble thee for Being justified by faith we have peace with God Rom. 5.1 The Devill cannot hurt thee for Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect it is God that justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again who is even at the right hand of God who allso maketh intercession for us Rom. 8.32 33. Nay which is the sum of all God himself in Iustice cannot condemn thee for There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8.1 his lustice is satisfied his Mercy magnified his Name be for ever glorified Lord let this teach me to rely with comfort on thy blessed promises and to walk worchy of them in my religious performances to manifest my increase of grace by my increase of goodness to fix my heart wholly upon thee to love thee to fear thee to honour thee and assuredly to rest in thee when thy grace shall enable me to delight in thy fear my sins can never perswade me to despair of thy favour my peace will be then inviolable my joy unutterable my happiness unalterable Blessed Lord God When I consider of the wretchedness of mine own corruptions in nature I am even ready to despair of thy love But when I look upon the blessedness of my condition in Christ I am then encouraged to sue to thee for mercy and forgiveness Allthough thy justice be severe against ane as I am a grievous sinner yet thy mercy is most sweet unto me in my Saviour I now tremble at thy judgements yet I rejoyce in thy promises allthough thy Law speak never so terribly thy curses be never so many thy plagues be never so grievous thy wrath never so tempestuous yet in the sweet mercy of my Saviour I am able to abide them all O Lord my God I abhor my self I accuse my self I condemn my self I am now ready with thy wrath to seize upon my sinfull soul and cast it down to everlasting misery Lord unto thee onely I appeal for mercy and forgiveness sweet Jesus accept of me and interpose thy blessed merits for me inrich my soul with thy sufferings be ever present with me and eternall comfort to me O holy and for ever blesssed Spirit thou that sanclifiest the souls of thine Elect assist and strengthen me quicken and revive my drooping saith increase my hope cherish my love foment those dying sparks by the sweet breathings of thy blessed Spirit that they may zealously break forth into a pure and fervent flame of holy affections to thy great glory and mine own eternall happiness Amen CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer Lord WHen I serionsly consider how manifold and great my failings are when I think of the shortness and uncertainty of life of the solemnity of death of the eternity of happiness or misery after death and by all these of the necessity usefulness and excellency of Prayer I may well wonder that I am ever from my knees My life is all sin and had therefore need to be all sorrow the greatness and continuance of my sins have added to the greatness and continuance of my misery and there is none but thou O Lord that can relieve me there is no coming to thee but by Prayer and no Prayer powerfull with thee but that which is fervent This is â—hat eye of my affection that woundeth the heart of thy compassion this is that holy violence that taketh Heaven by force that surpriseth thy Mercy that manicles thy Justice that wrestles with thy Love and will not let thee goe without a blessing This is my strong armour to defend me my daily food to sustein me my safe repose to refresh me my sweet content for ever to delight me Blessed Lord how wonderfull is thy desire to man how graciously doest thou provide for him how daily art thou mindfull of him Thy words instruct me thy promises allure me thy graces sustein me thy sacraments strengthen me thy visits comfort me thy embraces ravish me And as if all this were not yet enough to manifest thy favour towards me so unspeakable is thy love so earnest thy desires unto me that thou hast even given me thy self to be overcome by me Lord thou art all love when I strive with thee for mercy I overcome thee by thy self how great is thy goodness how tender are thy mercies unto man for whose sake thou contendest even with thine own Essence Thou hast given thy Son to die for me and in him thy self to be overcome by me Lord let this teach me to renew my acquaintance often with thee to
that as our sins have provoked thee to anger so our tears may move thee to compassion that thy mercy may be magnified our miseries relieved our sorrows comforted O let not these bitter aggravations of thy judgements extort from us the least measure of impatience nor beget in us the least degree of distrust let us neither complain of thy justice nor despair of thy mercy but quietly and thankfully rely upon thee and in thy blessed hour enjoy a sweet inlargement by thee Lord pity the forlorn condition of thy sons and daughters in affliction repair their outward losses by thine inward graces that what is wanting to them of these earthly comforts may be abundantly supplied in thy heavenly joyes Forgive the great disturbers of the peace of this thy Sion Lord open their eyes that they may see how much they have erred from thy waies Lord sanctifie their hearts that they may speedily return unto thee and be for ever gratiously accepted of thee O that thou wouldst give us one heart and one voyce that we might serve thee without ceasing that we may be all truly humbled before thee and truly joyfull in thee Restore me for thy rich mercy sake unto that blessed union of Love which is the bond of Peace that as thou our God art one so thy distressed Church may be one thy divided people one their wishes and desires their prayers and tears their actions and endeavours one for thy glory the Churches safety and the Nations happiness That we may have peace with thee our God peace with our enemies peace with our own souls and everlasting peace with thee in thy Kingdome Amen A comfortable PRAYER to bee used at the point of death by the Visitors of the Sick O Eternall Almighty most mercifull and for ever blessed Lord God of Heaven and Earth wee thy poor and most unworthy creatures miserable and distressed sinners in all humility of heart and dejectedness of spirit are here prostrate before thee Lord we confesse that we are utterly unworthy to approach thy glorious presence Blessed God we are confounded and ashamed to lift up our sinfull eyes unto thee whose gracious goodnesse we have so much neglected whose patience and long-suffering so long abused whose anger and indignation so justly provoked whose wrath and fury so wretchedly deserved Lord we are heavy laden with the burden of our sinnes and thou alone art able to relieve us to thee therefore we addresse our sinfull souls for mercy and forgivenesse O thou that art the blessed Shepheard of our erring soules that camest into the World to seek and to save those that are lost have mercy upon us O thou that hast espoused us unto thy self and hast given us thy love have mercy upon us O thou that callest us to come unto thee and embracest us when we are come receive our prayers Lord give us prepared hearts to meet thee in this holy duty Quicken our benummed soules with holy fervencie that our devotions may ascend unto thy gracious presence Lord thou hast promised to be near unto all those which call upon thee with sincerity and faithfulnesse of heart for thy blessed promise sake we most humbly beseech thee let our humiliations be comfortable our prayers acceptable In full assurance of the sweetnesse of thy mercy towards us wee are now bold to become Petitioners unto thee for this thy sick servant whose life is drawing near unto the grave Blessâ—d Lord God it is thou that killest and makest alive that bringest down to hell and raisest up again we most meekly beseech thee therefore for thy rich and tender love sake to thine Elect to mitigate that bitter curse which thou hast layd upon us all in Adam Lord look upon his affliction and his travail and forgive him all his sinnes give him sure patience to endure with meekness whatsoever thou art pleased to inflict upon him Lord lay no more upon his feeble body than thou shalt make him able for to bear impose no more upon his wounded spirit than thou in mercy shalt support him under Forsake him not O Lord our God be not thou far from him let him remember that this chastisement of thine is common to thy dearest children that thou hidest thy face from him but for a small moment but with everlasting kindnesse thou wilt have mercy on him Lord settle and compose his thoughts for thy Kingdom let no disturbance of this life distract those blessed meditations which invite the weary soul to rest and quietnesse let him now see and joyfully beleeve that thou wilt order all these outward things to thine own glory and the good of those that have relation to him let him freely forgive all injuries on earth and heartily desire to meet his greatest enemies in heaven O let his soul be now transported with the sweetnesse of thy love and favour towards him Lord qualifie this bitter potion which thy holy providence hath alotted to him let him now remember that the sufferings of this present life are not worthy of that glory which shall be suddainly revealed in him and when the outward man is drawing nearest to its dissolution Lord Jesus strengthen and rejoyce the inward man with comfort and assured confidence of thy salvation To this end O Lord we most humbly beseech thee to illuminate his understanding that he may see the sadnesse of his own condition in himself that â—he may deny and utterly abhor himself that he may disclame all sinfull confidence in his own actions and endeavours and wholly cast himself upon the righteousnesse of him in whom alone thy wrath is fully satisfied Lord give him a serious and a true remorse of conscience for his many and his great offences Lord Jesus grant that they may not now appear unto the terror and amazement of his sinfull soul O let him now remember that it is thy precious blood which purgeth him from all iniquitie that thou O blessed Saviour art become unto him righteousnesse and holinesse and sanctification and redemption Lord comfort and assist him in this last and greatest tryall of his faith And because the sensible decay of his infirm body and the violent disturbance of his sicknesse will not suffer him to call upon thee with digestednesse of mind and quietnesse of spirit we therefore humbly pray thee to sustein and comfort him even in his greatest weaknesse and extremity Blessed God let the sorrowfull sighing of thy sick prisoner now come before thee O let thy blessed Spirit which is in him put up humble supplications to the Father for him O satisfie him with thy mercy and that soon Let those happy sighs and groans which cannot be expressed become a pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse to thee and a sweet savour of eternall rest to his departing soul O thou that art the God of power protect him from the fury of that roaring Lion who is now seeking to devour him O thou that art the blessed Saviour of the sinfull world compassionate his