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A09911 The young divines apologie for his continuance in the Vniuersitie with certaine meditations, ritten by Nathaniel Povvnoll, late student of Christ-Church in Oxford. Pownall, Nathaniel, 1583 or 4-1610.; Fletcher, Giles, 1588?-1623. 1612 (1612) STC 20174; ESTC S103162 35,832 210

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mee I see no other but a two-edged sword proceed out of his mouth for my destruction and me thinkes hee is a prouiding whips to scourge me out of his Temple returning those stripes those thornes those wounds vpon mee which he hath vnworthily borne for mee denying any more to beare my crosse so that now though I crie vnto him Lord Lord he will not know mee nor suffer mee any more to haue a part in the Sonne of Ishai Since therefore thy sword is drawne O Lord against mee what can I doe but laie downe my necke and submit my selfe to the stroke of that Axe that cutteth downe all vnfruitfull and ill-fruitfull Trees For if euen the death of a sinner and ruine of a wretched soule please thee and may any way satisfie thy Iustice as indeed it cannot for thou delightest not in the death of a sinner oh how willingly should I cast away my selfe with Ionas to accalme the tempest of thine anger against mee but alas it is not my sacrifice can expiate my sins It were a good fruit of my bodie if it might be offered for the sin of my soule but how can that satisfie for sinne which it selfe is most sinnefull O no I confesse O Lord that I haue no other sinne-offering but my repentance left nor other burnt-offering then an aggrieued heart nor other drink-offering then teares nor other incense then my sighes nor other propitiation or Priest and Mediatour then thy selfe O Christ. Thou art our King to protect vs our Prophet to teach vs our Priest to make an attonement for vs and thou hast promised to make vs also Kings Priests and Prophets vnto thy Father but such is my vnworthinesse O Lord that often when I would take vpon mee the Priests office and offer my prayers as thou hast taught mee vnto my Father which is in heauen for pardon that I am quite confounded and haue nothing at all to say for my selfe and though I knowe thou art able to cure my dumbnesse yet it is safer for mee to heare thee open thy mouth to thy Father for mercie then let my mouth be opened to crie for vengeance against my selfe For I more vnnaturall then Caine haue slaine not my yonger brother but my selfe nor my selfe only but my elder brother therefore my blood cannot but with Abells crie to heauen for vengeance against him that spilt it but when I listen what the crie of thy blood my elder brother is whom my sinne hath slaine O how much better things doe I heare it speake then the blood of Abel Father forgiue him besides if I speake for my selfe my words are like the winde that passe away and goe I know not whither but most likely with my selfe into the Land where all things are forgotten but thine are like thine owne essence O Lord who art the eternall word such as heauen and earth may sooner passe away thē one tittle of thē Do thou therfore O gratious Sauiour speake and mediat for me let the many wounds inflicted on thee for my sinnes be as so many mouthes to craue mercie for me O let thy blood as when thou wert wounded it fel on the base earth be distilled also by the grace and merit thereof vpon me a vile and vnworthy sinner how happie were I if as thou madest Adam of red earth so thou hadst made me of that fruitfull red ground which thou vouchsafedst to water with thine owne blood Let thy stripes O Christ goe for the many stripes wherewith I as an euill seruant deserue to be beaten thy death for that eternall death my sinnes haue as their hire deserued and thy descent into hell for mine to free me from thence Indeede if thou wert as man is prone to anger nay were thine anger kindled but a little and were not thy mercy rather as farre aboue mans reason as his merit how long since had I perished from the land of the liuing If I looke vpon my sinnes me thinks I should alwaies see thee before me as thine Angel in the way of Baalim with the sword of thy iustice drawne against me vpon which as mad men doe vpon weapons my sinnes make mee wilfully to runne and I seem to my selfe to lie as Isaac vnder thy sword for sacrifie still expecting when thou shouldst come by mee in the whirlewindes earthquakes and tempests of thy iudgements yet to see how thou that no man might denie it to proceed only of grace and not of merit chusest rather to come in the still and soft voice of thy mercies euen vnto vs sinners wilt that thy holy spirit the spirit of meeknes come down rather in the forme of a doue without gal thē of a consuming fire vnto vs. How far art thou from desiring the death of a sinner that whē we were both branch and roote vnder the Axe of thy iudgements and as Isaac readie to be sacrificed and made a sinne offring didst prouide thy selfe a Lambe yea thy selfe the Lambe to saue vs and to set vs free How readie art thou to snatch the perishing brand out of the fire how soone entreated to forbeare and spare the fruitlesse figtree not doing that vnto the dry tree which thou hast done vnto the greene O see if euer there were loue like thy loue thy loue and mercie as thy selfe transcending all If euer thou repentest it is of thine anger not of thy mercie if euer thou hearest not our prayers it is because they tend to our owne hurt if thou hidest thy face it is that we might seek thee and if thou fliest frō vs that we might follow after thee more eagerly if thy iustice take vengeance it shall bee onely vpon those that hate thee and in thē but to the fourth generation but if thy mercie begin to shewe it selfe it will content it selfe with no lesse then a thousand generations O thou immortall goodnes and beauty of heauen draw me vnto thee with the bands of thy loue and with the same cordes bind me that I breake not from thee let me be ward vnto the King of heauen thy grace be my Guardian Then shal mine inheritāce and my lines fall vnto mee in a faire Land euen in the vineyard and Paradise of my God whereof though the first could not yet the second Adam with his blood as Nabaoth hath kept possession out of which neither the serpent nor all the powers of darknes shal be euer able to expell me so thou onely but suffer the weak hand of my faith to lay hold on thy crosse and to eate of the fruit of that tree of life For if thou be with me I shall be safe death shall haue no sting sinne no poyson hell no victorie For thou hast ouercome all the power of hell and death not for thy selfe ouer whome it could haue no power but for vs whose weakenesse could make no resistance but if thou absent thy selfe though but for a while my weake faith which had the boldnes to cast me out vpon the sea of thy mercie that so with Peter I might meete thee walking vpon the waters will neuer haue the courage if it see the waues rise to vphold it self Lord stretch out thy hand and saue me from sinking and so henceforth binde the sacrifice with cords vnto the Altar fasten me vnto thy crosse O Christ and spread thy selfe in thy merits and mercies as Elias vpon me that I may recouer life and though out of due season be borne vnto thee O graunt me any one of the menest places of the many mansions of thy Fathers house and when Israel thy chosen children and thy invited Ghests set with thee at thy great marriage feast and many come from East to West to set with Abraham in thy kingdom when thy seruants are placed may but I take the lowest place at thy table so when thou hast fedde thousands behold thee breaking vnto me but of thy broken bread or but be suffered to gather vp the crummes vnder that heauenly table and my hungrie and thirstie soule satisfied with that angelicall Manna made drunk with the pleasures of thy house shall neuer hunger or thirst more In the mean time while I dwell in this corruptible Tabernacle O let that grace of thine which shines vpon thy worthier Seruants if any worthy vnder whose roofe thou shouldst come as thou visitest other Publicans and sinners turne in vnto thy Seruants house and dine with him FINIS Plutarch Gen. 43.9 Gen. 28.12 Isa. 37.3 1. Sam. Harmon pag. 117. Plutarch in Ages Gen. 49.6 Revel Matt. 25.9 Iob 40.18 Pers. Sat. 1. Bion apud Laert. Plut. Ier. 48.10 Eccl. 10.16 1. Cor. 3.2 part 3. c. 26. Matt. 23.4 1. Tim 3 6. Iudg. 4. Matt. 7.17 King on Ionas 2. Sam. 18.23 Isa. 54.1 Plin. l. 35. Cael. Rh. Cicer. Aristot. l. 2 Phys. Act. 17.18 Ioh. 9.6 Aquin. Eccl. 4.17 Prou. 6.9 10. Cicer. de Orat. Epist. ad Luc. Aul. Gell. Confess ●●b 4. Alex. ab Alex. Epist. 1. Cor. 9.16 Ps. 137.6 Ps. 137.5 Cicer. Tusc. qu. Luk. 10.41 Deut 5.29 Chrysost. Iudg 7. 1. Sam. Ter ●un Exod. 3. Ezek. 3.14 Ion. 1. Paul in vita Ambr. In eius vita à scipso scripta Possido Aug. Epist. 148. ad Val. Homil. 3. in acta Apost Matt. 9.38 Aug Epist. 148. in inst Quint. Curt. Matt. 22.37 Aug. epist. Act. 20.24 Act. 20.24 Phil. 2.12 In tersinitum insinitum c. Prolog in lib. Retr Num. 11 2● Plut. Eph. 3.8 Greg. Rom. 11.33 Preface in Lull Psal. 42.7 Hipp. proem in Apho Possidor in eius vita 1. De Nat. Deor. Rom. 13.12 Ezek. 47.3 Cic. Totis artubus contremisco 2. Cor. 2.17 Tull. l. 1. de nat Deor. Calvin in Exod. 30 ●3 Gen. 23.15 Plin. l 35. Plut. Laert. Tu iurabis c. Luk. 2. Ioseph antiq Gregor de curâ Past. part 3. c. 26 Possidor 2. Tim. 4 1. Seneca magni emit qui precatur ad finem Epist. predict 1. Sam. 17.28 29. Eccl. 12.
see O make them lampes to burne alwaies before thee in thy Temple willing euen to consume themselues to giue light vnto thy house and readie beeing set on fire as it were in a burnt offering spend themselues for thine and thy Churches seruice and let me the least of them all finde grace with my Lord to see my candle also lightened by the Father of lights and so set it in thy Temple not suffering it at any time to be remooued out of the Candlestick but in thy mercie as thou didst encrease the widowes oile all the time of the famine so also increase thy grace in my lampe that it may with the wise virgins be found burning and shining at the comming forth of the Bridegroome and so I receiued into the rest of my Master Guide the Armie of thy Ministers with thy principall spirit O Lord lead them out of Egypt with a stretched out arme that all the powers of darknesse bandied especially to assault them preuaile not against them It is Sathans desire to grinde and winnowe them to make the watchmen of thy holy city to sleepe that so it may be betraied Out of his hatred to thee he seekes most to persecute these whome thou hast set in thy stead that the light of thy Temple beeing extinguished and put out and their Candlesticks remooued he may walke himselfe in the darke and that their eies beeing darkened the bodie blinded may fall into his pits and snares Thou therfore O God goe forth with our Armies vnto battell the cause is thine set bounds vnto the raging sea that it ouerflow not thy holy Land And now Lord since I am come into thy seruice and haue left all to followe thee let me neuer leaue thee to followe any other thing For as thou couldst neuer haue chosen a worse seruant so shall I neuer find so good a Master or meet with such a seruice it beeing fit onely indeede for thy heauenly Angels but because it hath pleased thee as that King to set earthē vessels among the golden ones of thy Temple therefore as euerie creature euen the silly worme doth striue to doe the seruice in his kind and order so among the vnworthiest of them doe I present my humble seruice vnto thee and knowing not what other thanks to render thee who hast made me fellow-seruant with thy Angels that are ministring spirits sent for the good of thy choosen I will euen render thy grace vnto thy glorie and ioyfully yeeld vp my selfe and my soule which thou hast so graciously accepted vnto the hands of my faithful redeemer there is nothing worthy to haue part with thee nothing shal vsurpe thy right in me or robbe thee of thine honour Though O Lord it is not I that doe or can do thee seruice It is thou that seruest thy selfe by me as by an instrument I haue not so much as moouing of my selfe it is thou that workest in me both the wil and the power I am of my selfe but a iarring instrument quite out of tune it is thou that tunest me and makest what soeuer musique and harmonie is in mee that so I among the rest of the Leuites might with ioy and mirth helpe to bring home thine Arke vnto Hierusalem that is aboue I haue nothing that I can call properly mine owne but my sinnes weakenesse and imperfections and wretchednesse whatsoeuer is else in mee more then these is thine O God of thy free gift and grace and therefore bound vnto thy seruice A meditation vpon the first of the seauen paenitentiall Psalmes of Dauid Psalm 6. vers 1. O Lord rebuke me not in thine Indignation neither chastice mee in thy displeasure I Require not O Lord that thou rebuke mee or chastice mee not at all it beeing the prerogatiue of thy children here in this world to be chastened and punished for their sinnes whereas thou sufferest the wicked without troubling to heape vp wrath against the day of wrath till they haue filled vp the measure of their iniquitie My sinnes I know exact chasticement onely I desire that thou correct mee in thy mercie not in thine anger as a sonne not as a bastard with the correction of thy Israel not with the plagues of Egypt to amendment not destruction to the humbling not the hardening of my heart to my comfort not confusion that thou reaching out thy helping hand as thou didst to Peter when he was sinking I be not ouerwhelmed in the waters of temptation or as the burning bush or three children be not consumed in the fire and furnace of affliction but that they may be to mee as the whale to Ionas not to swallow but to preserue and to my sinnefull soule as salt to tainted flesh to keepe it from putrefaction Set bounds O Lord to the raging seas that they ouerflow not and put thy bridle and hooke into the mouth of the beast that it deuoure not the heart of the Turtle If thou rebuke in thy wrath who can beare it if thine anger be kindled yea but a little who can stand before thee if thou but touch the mountaines must they not smoake for it The least breath of thy displeasure is able to blast all the beautie of the world and as a word of thy mercie made all so a word of thine anger is able to destroie all How glad would they be that beare the insupportable burthen of thine anger if in exchaunge thereof the mountaines would fall vpon them and the hills couer them Oh how light a load are the greatest mountaines in comparison of thy least heauie displeasure At the day of thy wrath the heauens shall be rowled vp as a peece of parchment the starres fall from the firmament the moone be turned into blood and the sunne darkned then Lord who am I withwhom thou shouldst be angrie or what is flesh and blood what seely man that thou shouldest striue with him Turne the edge of thy wrath O Lord against those principalities and powers of darknesse that resist thee from vs poore soules that submit our earthen vessells euen to be broken in peeces by the Potter that made vs. O thou Lion of the Tribe of of Iudah spare them that lie prostrate before thee and pardon vs if not thy punishment yet thine anger then if thou killest vs we shall loue thee and in death it selfe remember thee in the pit giue thee thankes Vers. 2. Haue mercie vpon me Lord for I am weake O Lord heale me for my bones are vexed O God whose mercie is thy greatest glorie and whose glorie and power is most seene in mans weaknesse and frailtie as wherein there is no other power seene let not thy invincible strength striue with so weake an adversarie as an arme of flesh wrastle not O God with thy poore seruant as with Iacob vnlesse as vnto him thou chaunge his name to Israel and giue him the blessing of preuailing with God For O Lord thy yron rodde if it as that of Moses he turned