no comfort till I shall obteyne to see thee in thy celestiall bedd of state Thee who art my beloued and most beautifull Spouse my Lord and my God That beholding there in the society of such as thou hast chosen that glorious and admirable most beautifull countenance of thine which is topp full of all true sweetenes I may with profound humility adore thy Maiesty And then at last being replenished with the celestiall and vnspeakable iubilation of eternall ioy I may cry out with such as loue thee and say Beholde that which I aspired too I see That which I hoped for I haue That which I desired I inioy For to him am I conioyned in heauen whome being yet on earthe I loued witth my whole power I imbraced with entire affection and I inheared to with inuincible loue Him doe I praise adore and blesse who liueth raigneth God for euer and euer Amen CHAP. XXXVIII A Prayer to be made in affliction HAue mercy on me O Lord haue mercy on me deer Lord haue mercy on me most miserable sinner who cōmitt vnworthy things and doe endure such as I am worthy of for I am daily sinninge and daily feeling the scourge of sinn If I consider the euill which I cōmitt daily it is noe great matter which I suffer It is much wherein I offend and it is little which I endure Thou art lust O Lord and thy iudgment is right yea all thy iudgments are iust and true Thou art iust and true O Lord our God and there is noe iniquity in thee Thou O mercifull and Omnipotent Lord dost not afflict vs sinners cruelly and vniustly But when we were not thou didst make vs with thy hand of power and when we were lost through our owne fault thou didist admirablie restore vs by thy pitty and goodnes I know and am well assured that our life is not driuen on by rash and irregular motions but it is disposed and gouerned by thee O Lord our God So that thou hast a care of all butt especially of thy seruants who haue placed their whole hope in thy mercy I doe therefore beseeche and humbly pray thee that thou wilt not proceed with me according to my sinns whereby I haue deserued thy wrathe but accordinge to thyne owne great mercy which surpasseth the sinns of the whole world Thou O Lord who doest inflict exterior punishments vpon vs giue vs interior patience which may neuer faile that so thy praise may not departe from my mouth Haue mercy on me O Lord haue mercy on me and helpe me accordinge to what thou knowest to be necessary for me both in body and soule For thou knowest all things thou canst doe all things thou who liuest for euer CHAP. XXXIX A verie deuoute Prayer to God the Sonne O Lord Iesus Christe the Sonne of the liueing God who didest drinke vp that Calice of thy Passion thou being extēded vpon thy Crosse for the Redemption of all mortall men vouchsafe this day to giue me helpe Beholde I come poore to thee who art riche miserable to thee who art mercifull Let me not goe empty or despised from thee I am hungry now when I beginn let me not giue ouer empty of thee I come to thee almost starued let me not departe from thee vnfed And if now before I eat I sighe grant at least after I haue sighed that I may eate First of all O most sweete Iesus I confesse myne owne iniustice against my selfe before the magnificence of thy mercy Behold O Lord how I was conceaued and borne in sinne and thou didst wash me and sanctify me and after that I did yet pollute my selfe with greater sinnes For I was borne in Original sinn which was necessary to me but afterwards I weltred in actuall sinn which was voluntary Yet thou O Lord beinge not vnmindfull of thy mercy didst take me from the house of my father of flesh and blood and out of the Tabernacles of sinners and didst inspire me to follow thee with the generation of them who seeke thy face and who walke in the right way and who dwell amongst the Lillyes of chastity and who feed with thee at the table of profound pouerty And I vngratefull for so many benefits did after I had receaued Baptisme worke many wicked deeds and committed many execrable crymes And whereas I ought to haue remoued those former sinns I did after add new sinns to those These are my wickednesses O Lord whereby I haue deshonored thee defiled my selfe whome thou haste created after thyne owne Image and likenesse by pride vaine glorye and a number of other sinnes whereby my vnhappy soule is afflicted torne and destroyed Behold O Lord how my iniquityes haue ouergrowne my head and how they oppresse me as any heauy burden might doe And vnlesse thou whose property it is to haue mercy and to forgiue be pleased to put the hand of thy Maiesty vnder me I shall not faile to be miserably drowned in that bottomlesse pitt Consider O Lord God and see because thou art holy and behold how my enemy insulteth ouer me saying God hath forsaken him I will persecute him and take him for there is none to deliuer him But thou O Lord how long Conuert thy selfe to me and deliuer my soule and saue me for thy mercyes sake Haue mercy vpon thy Sonn whome thou didst begett weth noe small sorrow of thine and doe not so consider my wickednes as thereby to forgett thyne owne goodnes Who is that Father which will not deliuer his Sonne Or who is that Sonne whome the Father will not correct with the staffe of pitty Therefore O my Father and my Lord though it be true that I am a sinner yet I leaue not for all that to be thy Sonne because thou haste both made me and made me agayne As I haue sinned so doe thou reforme me and when thou shalt haue mended me by thy correction deliuer me then to thy Sonne Can the Mother forgett the Childe of her wombe Yet supposeing she could thou hast promised O Father that thou wilt not forgett him Behold I cry out and thou hearest me not I am tormented with sorrowe and thou comfortest me not What can I say or what shall I doe most wretched creature that I am I am vtterly without all comfort and I am cast of from the sight of thyne eyes Woe is me from how great happinesse into how great misery am I fallen Whither was I goeinge and yet where am I arriued where am I or rather where am I not To whome did I aspire and yet now what kinde of things be they for which I pant and sighe I haue sought for happinesse and behold I hawe mett wish infelicity Bebold I am euen dyinge and Iesus is not with me without fayle it is better for me not to be at all then not to be with Iesus it is better for me not to liue at all then to liue without life But thou O Lord Iesus and what
yet agayne it is afflicted because it falls back and returnes to be an Abysse or rather it findes that still it is so My faith which thou hast kindled in this night of myne before my feete doth say Why art thou sad O my soule and why doste thou afflict me Hope thou in God his word is a lanterne to my feete Hope and continue to doe so till the night which is the mother of the wicked doe passe a way till the wrath of our Lord passe away wherof sometymes we were the Children For sometymes we were darknes Till this fury of water pass cleane a way we still dragg on in our body which is dead through sinn the reliques of that darknes Till such tyme as the day shall approach all shadowes may be remoued I will hope in our Lord. In the morrow of the next life I shall assist and contemplate and I will euer confesse to him In that morrow I shall assist and behold the health of my countenance which is my God who will reuiue euen our mortall bodyes for that spiritts sakes which dwelleth in vs that now we may be light euen whilest we are saued here by hope That we may be the Sonns of light and the Sonns of God and not of night and darknes For sometymes we were darknes but now we are light in thee O our God and yet we are so here but by Faith and not face to face Because that hope which is seene is not hope All that immortall people of thy Angells praiseth thee O Lord and those celestiall Powers glorify thy Name They haue no need to read any such writing as this towards the makeinge them knowe the holy indiuiduall Trinity For they see thy Face for euer and there they read without any syllabes of tyme what that eternall will requires They read they choose and they loue They euer read and that neuer passeth which they are readinge By choosing and by loueinge they read the very immutability of thy counsell and their booke is neuer shutt and their scrowle neuer folded vp for thy self is all that to them and so thou art to be for euer O how excessiuely happy are those powers of heauen which are able to praise thee most purely and holyly with excessiue sweetnes and vnspeakable exultation They praise thee for that in which thâ—â— ioy because they euer see reason 〈◊〉 they should reioice and praise them But we being oppressed by this burthen of our flesh and being cast farr of from thy face in this pilgrimage of ours and being so racked by the variety of worldly things are not able worthily to praise thee Yet we praise thee as we can by Faith though not face to face but those Angelicall spiritts praise thee face to face not by Faith For our flesh putteth this vpoÌ„ vs obligeth vs to praise thee farr otherwise then they doe But how soeuer euen we sing praise to thee in a different manner and yet thou art but one O God thou Creator of all things to whome the sacrifice of praise is offered both in heauen and earth And by thy mercy we shall one day arriue to their society with whome we shall for euer see and praise thee Grant O Lord that whilest I am placed in this fraile body of mine my hart may praise thee my tongue may praise thee and all the powers of my soule may say O Lord who is like to thee Thou art that Omnipotent God whome we worshiâ— as Trine in Persons and Onâ—â— the Substance of thy Diety We adore the Father vnbegotten the Sonne the onely begotten of his Father and the Holy Ghoste proceedinge from them both and remaininge in them both We adore thee O Holy and indiuiduall Trinity one Omnipotent God who when we were not did'st most puissantly make vs and when by our owne fault we weare lost by thy pitty and goodnes thou did'st recouer vs after an admirable manner Doe not I beseech thee permitt that we should be vngratefull for so great benefitts and vnworthy of so many mercyes I pray thee I beseech thee I begg of thee that thou wilt increase my faith hope and charity I beseech thee make vs by that grace of thyne to be euer firme in beleiueinge and full of efficacy in working that so by meanes of incorrupted Faith and workes worthy therof we may through thy mercy arriue to euerlastinge life And there beholding thy glory as indeed it is we whome thou haste made worthy to see that glory of thyne may adore thy Maiesty and may say together Glory be to the Father who created vs Glory be to the Sonne who redeemed vs Glory be to the Holy Ghoste who sanctifyed vs Glory be to the supreame indiuiduall Trinity whose workes are inseparable and whose empire is eternall To thee our God praise is due to thee a Hymne of glory to thee all honor benediction clarity thanksgiueing vertue and fortitude for euer and for euer Amen CHAP. XXXIV He complayneth against himselfe for not being moued with the contemplation of God whereat the Angells tremble PArdon me O Lord pardon me through thy mercy pardon and pitty me pardon my great ignorance and imperfections Doe not reiect me as a presumptuous creature in that I aduenture being thy slaue I would I could say a good one and not rather that I am vnprofitable and wicked and therfore very wicked because I take this boldnes to praise and blesse and adore thee who art our Omnipotent God and who art terrible and excessiuely to be feared without contrition of hart without a fountaine of tears and without due reuerence and trembling For if the Angells who adore and praise thee doe tremble whilest they are filled with that admirable exultation how comes it to passe that I a sinfull creature whilest I am present with thee and sing prayses and offer sacrifices to thee am not frighted at the hart that I am not pale in my face that my lipps tremble not and my whole body is not in a shiueringe and that so with a flood of tears I doe not incessantly mourne before thee I would fayne doe it but I am not able because I cannot doe what I desire Herupon I am vehemently wondringe at my selfe when by the eyes of Faith I see how terrible thou art but yet who can doe euen this without thy grace For all our saluation is nothing but thy great mercy Woe be to me how comes my soule to be made so senseles as that it is not frighted with excessiue terrour whilest I am standing before God and singinge forth his praise Woe be to me how comes my hart to be so hardned that myne eyes cannot incessantly bring forth whole floods of tears whilest the slaue is speaking before his Lord Man with God the. Creature with the Creator he who is made of durte with him who made all things of nothing Beholde O Lord how I place my selfe before thee that which I conceiue of
made is good To be therefore whithout the Vvord is to be euill which yet is not properly to be because nothing is without it But what is it to be separated from the word If thou desire to knowe this learne first what this Vvord is The Vvord of God sayth I am the Vvay the Truth and the Life To be separated therefore from the Vvord is to be out of the Vvay and without Truth and life and therefore without it is nothing and so it is euill in being separated from the Vvord whereby all things were made very good To be separated then from the Vvord whereby all things were made is noe other thing then to faile and to passe from being a fact to be a defect because nothing truely is without it As often therefore as thou departest from good thou doest separate thy selfe from the Vvord because the Vvord is good and soe thou growest to be nothing because thou art without the Vvord without which nothing is made Now therefore O Lord thou O light hast illuminated me that I might see thee I sawe thee and I knowe my selfe for soe often haue I growen to he nothing as I haue separated my selfe from thee and because I forgett that good which thou art therefore did I growe to be wicked Woe be to me wretched man how came it to passe that I knewe not that by forsakeing thee I grewe to be nothing but why doe I aske how I could be ignorant thereof if I were nothing we knowe what it is to be nothing that it is not which is nothing and that the thing which is not good is not because it is nothing If therefore I were not when I was without thee I was as nothing and as an idoll which is nothing Vvhich hath eares indeede but it heareth not nostrells but it smelleth not eyes but it seeth not a mouth but it speaketh not hands but it feeleth not feete but it walketh not and it hath all the lineaments or parts of a body but yet without that sense which belongeth to them CHAP. VI. Of the fall of a soule by sinne WHen therfore I was without thee I was not any thing but I was nothing therfore I was blinde deafe insensible because I discerned not that which was ill nor felt the afflictioÌ„ of my wounds nor could I discerne myne owne darkenes because I was without thee who art the true light which illuminateth all men comeing into the world Vvoe be to me they haue any other parte thereof but onely soe farre forth as they are conserued by the Word whereby all things are made Let me therefore adheare to thee O Word that thou mayest conserue me For as soone as I departed from thee I had vtterly perished in my self but that thou who haddest made me once didest vouchsafe to make me yet againe I sinned and thou didest visit me I fell thou didest rayse me I was ignorant thou diddest teach me I was blinde and thou diddest illuminate me CHAP. VII Of the manifold benefitts of Almighty God DEclare to me O my God how much I miserable creature am bound to loue thee Declare to mee how much I am obliged to praise thee make me see how much I must procure to please thee Thunder downe O Lord from aboue with a shrill steady voyce into the interiour eare of my harte Teach me saue me and I will prayse thee who didest create me when I was nothing who didest illuminate me when I was in darkenes who didest reuiue me when I was dead and who hast fedd me from my very youth with all thy good blessings Yea and doest now nourish this vnprofitable worme who is stinkeing and rotteing in his sinnâ—s with all thy most excellent guifts Open to me O thou key of Dauid thou who openest and noe man shutteth to whome thou openest and who shuttest and noe man openeth to him to whome thou shuttest Open I say the gate of thy light towards me that I may enter in and see knowe and confesse to thee with my whole hart because thy mercy towards me is greate and thou hast drawen my soule out of that lower hell O Lord my God how admirable and prayseworthy is thy Name throughout the word And what is man that thou shouldest be mindefull of him or the sonne of man that thou shouldest visit him O Lord thou hope of thy Saints and thou tower of theyr strength O God thou life of my soule whereby I liue and without which I dye Thou light of myne eyes by which I see and without which I am blinde thou ioy of my hart and thou delight of my spirit I beseeche thee that I may loue thee with my whole hart and with my whole mynde euen with all the very bowells of my affection since thy selfe didst first loue me And how came I to obteyne this fauour at thy hands O thou Creatour of the Heauens and of the Earth and of that deepe abysse Thou who haste noe neede of any thing which is myne VVhence came I to be soe happy as that thou shouldest carry loue to me O thou VVisdome which openest the mouthes of dumbe men O thou VVord whereby all things were made open thou my mouth endewe me with the voyce of prayse that I may recount all those benefits which thou O Lord hast bestowed on me from the beginning For behold I am because thou hast created me and that thou wouldest create me and number me out in the multitudes of thy other creatures thou diddest preordeyne from all eternity before thou madest any thing in that beginning of the world before thou didest extend and spread the heauens abroade nether yet was there any abysse of the sea nor hadest thou made the Earth nor layd a foundation for the mountaynes nether yet had the fountaynes broken forth Before all these things I say which thou madest by thy Word thou didest foresee by the most certayn prouidence of thy truth that I was to be thy creature thou wert resolued that I should be soe And whence grew this benefit to me O thou most benigne Lord most high God most mercifull Father most puissant withall for euer meeke Creatour VVhat merits were there of myne What meanes was there to make me soe acceptable that it should be pleasing in the sight of thy mighty Maiesty to create me I had noe beeing and thou madest me of nothing But what kinde of thing didest thou make me Not some dropp of water not some sparke of fyre not some birde some fish some serpent or any other vnreasonable creature not some stone or peece of wood Nor any thing of that kinde which onely hath a beeing or of that other kinde which hath not onely a beeing but growth and sense but beyond them all thou wert pleased that I should be of them who haue a beeing because I am and of them who haue a beeing and encreasing because I am and growe and of them
sad people he pretends himselfe to be sad for company To the end that he may delude such as are in ioy he faynes himselfe also to reioyce That he may beguile such as are spirituall he transformeth himselfe into an Angell of light That he may insinuate himselfe and by that meanes crush such as are strong he takes the semblance of a lambe that he may deuoure such as are meeke he borrowes the face of a Wolfe All these things he takes vpon him according to the similitude and proportion of the temptations which he meanes to vse As some he frights with a nocturnall feare others by the arrow which flyes by day others by the busines which walkes by night others by expresse assault and others by that deuill of high noone Now who is he that can thinke himselfe a match for this enemy so farr as that he may so much as know him and who did euer reach to the bottome of his craft Who shall reueale the makeing of his garment to vs and who shall make vs knowe the walke of his teeth Behould he hideth his arrowes in his quiuer and he couers his snares vnder a shew of light soe he is lesse subiect to be vnderstood vnlesse O Lord O thou hope of ours we beg light from thee whereby we may discerne all things For not onely doth he striue to deceiue vs in the sensuall workes of flesh and blood nor onely in the exercise of vice which is easily discerned but euen amongst our most spirituall actions he hideth certain subtile snares vnder the colour of vertue he puts on vice transformes himselfe into an Angell of light these and many other things O Lord our God doth this very sonne of Beliall this Satan endeauour to bring against vs. And now as a Lyon then as a Dragon both manifestly and secretly interiourly and exteriourly both by day and night he is laying traynes for vs that soe he may destroy our soules But thou O Lord deliuer vs thou who sauest such as hope in thee that our enemy may haue cause to be sorry for as much as may concerne vs but that thou O Lord our God maist be praised in vs. CHAP. XVIII Of the benefits of God BVt let mee the sonne of thy handmayd who haue commended my selfe into thy hands confesse to thee O my deliuerer with my whole harte in these little poore confessions of myne and let me call to minde all those good blessings which thou hast voutchsafed to bestow on mee from my youth and in my whole life For I well know that ingratitude doth much offend thee which is the roote of all spirituall mischeife and a kinde of dry and parching wynde which blasteth all goodnes and it shutteth vp the fountayns of diuine mercy towards man and by this meanes both our ill deedes which were dead gett life againe our good deedes which liue doe quickly growe to dy and haue noe more life afterward But as for mee O Lord I will giue thankes to thee Let not mee O thou my deliuerer be vngratefull to thee since thou hast freede mee How often had that Dragon euen swallowed mee vp and thou O Lord diddest drawe mee out of his mouth How often haue I sinned when he was ready to haue deuoured mee but thou O Lord my God diddest defend mee When I did wickedly against thee when I transgressed thy commaundements he stood ready to snatch mee away into hell but thou forbadest him I offended thee and the while thou defendedest mee I did not feare him and yet thou diddest preserue mee I departed from thee made offer of my selfe to myne enemy but thou diddest fright him so as that he should not dare to carry me away These benefits diddest thou bestowe vpon me O Lord my God and I wretched creature knew it not Full often hast thou freed mee from the uery iawes of the Deuill and snatched me out of the mouth of the Lyon and full often hast thou brought me back againe from hell though I was ignorant thereof For I descended euen towards the very gates of hell and thou heldest me back from goeing in I drewe neare the gates of death and thou wert the cause why they opened not themselues to receiue mee Thou also O my Sauiour hast often deliuered me from corporall death when I was subiect to great sickenes And when I found my self in many daungers by sea by land by fyre by sword and many other wayes thou wert euer deliuering mee euer present to mee and euer saueing mee with great mercy For thou O Lord diddest well knowe that if death had then seised vpon mee hell had possessed my soule and I had bene damned for euer But thy mercy and thy grace O Lord my God preuented mee and gaue mee deliuerance from that death of my body and consequently from the death of my soule These and many other benefits diddest thou imparte to mee but I was blinde and knew them not till I was illuminated by thee But now O thou light of my soule O Lord my God my life by which I liue and the light of mynes eyes by which I see Behould thou hast illuminated mee and now I knowe thee and cōfesse my selfe to liue by the guift of thy hand and I giue thankes to thee Which though they be meane and poore full of disproportion to thy benefits yet they are the best which my frailty can affoord For thou alone art my God my benigne Creatour who doest loue our soules and hatest none of those things which thou hast made Behold I who am the greatest of those sinners whom thou hast saued to the end that I may giue an example to others of thy most benigne piety will confesse thy great benefits to me For thou hast snatched me out of that lower hell once twice and thrice and a hundered and a thousand times And indeede I was euer tending towards Hell and thou wert euer drawing mee back And thou mightest iustly haue damned me a thousand times if thou haddest beene soe disposed But thou wouldest not because thou louest soules O Lord my God and thou dissemblest the sinnes of men that soe they may come to pennance and there is much mercy in all thy wayes Now therefore I see these things O Lord my God and I knowe them by thy light and my soule doth euen faynt and is sicke with loue vpon the consideration of thy great mercy towards mee since thou hast snatched my soule out of that lower Hell and hast brought mee back againe to life For I was all plunged in death and thou hast wholy reuiued mee Be therefore all my life and beeing thyne and I doe wholly offer my whole selfe vp to thee Let my whole spirit my whole harte my whole body and my whole life liue to thee O thou my sweete life for thou hast deliuered me wholly that thou mightest possesse me wholy thou hast intirely repaired me that so againe thou mayest haue mee intirely
Let mee therefore loue thee O Lord my streÌ„gth let mee loue thee O thou vnspeakeable exultation of my soule And let me liue now not to my self but to thee My whole life which perished by my misery was raised vp by thy mercy thou who art that mercifull God and full of pitty which thou doest extend in thy goodnes to thousands of such as loue thy Name Therefor O Lord my God and my sanctifyer hast thou comaunded in thy Lawe that I should loue thee with my whole harte with my whole soule with my whole minde with my whole strength and with all the powers I haue Yea and with the most internall marrow of all my affections and this in all the houres and moments of my time wherein I am enioying the benediction of thy mercyes For I should euer perish but that thou doest euer gouerne mee I should euer dy but that thou doest euer quicken mee And thou doest oblige mee to thee in euery moment of my life since in euery moment therof thou impartest great benefits to mee As therefore there is noe houer or point of time in my whole life wherein I am not assisted by thy benefits soe also ought there not to be any moment wherein I should not haue thee before the eyes of my mynde and wherein I should not loue thee with my whole strength But euen this I cannot doe saue by thy guift onely to whome euery good guift belongeth and euery excellent grace is descending from thee the Father of Lights with whome there is noe transmutation nor shadow of chaunge For it is not of him that willeth nor of him that runneth but of thee taking mercy that wee loue thee Thine O Lord is this guift to whome euery good thing belongeth Thou commaundest that thou be beloued Giue vs that which thou commandest and then commaund vs what thou wilt CHAP. XIX Of the feruour of charity I Loue thee O my God and I am euer desireing to loue thee more For in very deed thou art more sweete then any honny more nutritiue then any milke and more cleere then any light Therefore art thou more deare to me them gold or siluer or pretious stone And whatsoeuer delightfull thing I had in the world was displeasing to mee in comparison of thy sweetenes and the order of thy house which I loued O thou fyre which euer burnest and art neuer quenched O loue which is euer boyling hote and neuer growest luke-warme doe thou inflame mee Let mee I say be wholy inflamed by thee and let me wholy loue thee For he loues thee too little who loues any thing together with thee which he loues not for thy sake Make me loue thee O Lord because thou didst first loue mee And how shall I finde wordes whereby I may vnfold the notions which I haue of thy singular loue to mee testifyed by those innumerable benefits by which thou hast trayned me vp from the beginning For after the benefit of the creation when in the beginninge thou didest make me of nothing after thyne owne Image doeing me honour and exalting me beyond the rest of thy creatures which thou madest and innobling me with the light of thy countenance which thou didest stampe vpon the entrie of my hart whereby thou didest disseuer me both from insensible creatures and from brute beasts which are endewed with sense and thou madst me not much inferiour to the Angels yet euen this seemed not enough in the sight of thy deity For since that time thou hast entertayned and nourished mee with daily and singular and great presents of thy benefits without intermission And thou hast giuen me comfort and made me sucke like somme little tender infant of thine at the breasts of thy consolation For to the end that I might yeild thee my entire seruice thou hast appointed that whatsoeuer thou hast made should serue mee CHAP. XX. That God hath submitied all things to the seruice of man THou hast made all things subiect to the feete of man to the onely end that man might become wholly subiect to thee And to the end that man might be wholly thine hee is entitled to a dominion ouer all thy workes For thou hast created all exteriour things for the body the body for the soule and the soule for thy selfe to the end that man might tend onely to thee might loue onely thee possessing thee by way of comforte to himselfe and thy creatures by way of receiuing seruice from them For whatsoeuer is conteyned vnder this vaute of heauen is inferiour to the soule of man which was created that it might possesse the supernall soueraigne good aboue by the fruition whereof it might be happy and wherevnto when it shall adheare outstripping and ouerlooking all relations and respects to all inferiour things which are subiect to mutation it shall calmely and constantly behold the face of that eternall immortality and the vision of that supreame Majestie to which it hath aspired here Then shall they be in fruition of those most excellent delights in the house of our Lord in comparison whereof all those things which here we see may well goe for nothing Those are they which the eye hath not seene nor the eare heard nor haue they entred into the hart of man which God hath prepared for them who loue him And these things O Lord wilt thou imparte to the soule of man And with the consideration of these things dost thou who louest soules delight the soules of thy seruants But yet why should I wonder at those things O Lord my God therein thou dost but honor thyre owne Image and that similitude of thyne according to which they are created For whilest we are yet in thâ—s corruptible and ignoble body to the end we might see thou hast giuen this light of heauen by the hands of thy vnwearied ministers the Sunne and Moone which doe perpetually obserue thy precept in serueing thy children day and night To the end that we might breath thou hast giuen the purity of the ayre That we might heare the variety of sounds That we might smell the sweetnesse of odours That it might tast the variety and quality of sauoures That it might touch thou hast giuen the bulke of all bodies For the other necessary occasions of man thou hast giuen beasts to carry him And thou hast imparted the birds of the ayre the fish of the sea and the fruites of the earth for his refection Thou hast also created out of the earth seuerall medicines which may be applyed to the seuerall infirmities of men and thou hast prepared particular comforts which are to encounter and reuerse those particular-inconueniences which may occurre And all this thou hast done because thou art full of mercy and pitty thou being our potter dost knowe the matter whereof wee are made For in fine wee are but as soe much durt in thy hand CHAP. XXI That the greatenes of the diuine counsell may be inferred by the consideration of temporall
ardent desire of our hart ought to be placed in our Lord. BVt thou O Lord the expectation of Israell and that desire to which our harte doth euery day aspire make haste to vs and doe not stay Rise vp make hast and come and bring vs out of this prison to confesse vnto thy Name that wee may glory in thy light Open thyne eares to the cry of the teares of thy forsaken children who thus are calling out to thee Giue vs O thou Father of ours our daylie breard this day in the strength whereof wee may walke day and night till at last wee may arriue to thy Holy Mountaine Horeb. And I also poore little one that I am amongst the poore little ones of thy familly when shall I O my God my Father and my strength come and appeare before thy face that I who confesse vnto thee now for a tyme may doe it there for all eternity Happy shall I be if once I may be admitted to behould thy brightenes Who will graunt mee soe much fauour as that once I may bee admitted to that happines I knowe O Lord I knowe and confesse that I am vnworthy to enter vnder thy roofe Yet doe thou admitt mee for thyne owne honnour 's sake confound not thy slaue who hopes in thee And who shall be able to enter into thy Sanctuary to consider the wonders of thy power vnles thou open him the gate And who can open it if thou shutt it For if thou destroy there is none can build vs vp And if thou shutt a man in there is none who cā putt him out If thou contayne the waters all the world will be dryed vp but if thou let thē loose they will ouerrune the earth If thou haue a mynde to anihilate all that which thou hast created who shall presume to contradict thee Now therefore ô thou eternall goodnes of thy mercy which is that whereby thou madest whatsoeuer thou wouldest thou art the Archytect of the whole world and therefore doe thou also gouerne vs. Thou didest creat vs and therefore doe not thou despise vs for wee are the worke of thy hands And it is playne enough O Lord our God that wee who are but base wormes and durt shall neuer be able to enter into thy eternityes vnles we be introduced by thee who hast created all things of nothing CHAP. XXIV That all our saluation depends vpon God BVt I the worke of thy hands will confesse to thee in thy feare that I will not putt my confidence in my bowe or thinke that my sword can saue me but that must be donne by thy right hand and by thyne arme and by the illumination of thy countenance For otherwise I should despayre But thou who diddest create mee art my hope that thou wilt not forsake such as trust in thee For thou art our Lord God sweete and patient and disposeing of all things in mercy For it we haue sinned wee are thyne and if wee haue not sinned wee are thine because we are numbred among thy creatures Wee are but as a leafe in respect of the world and all mankinde is but vanity and our life is but as a vapour vpon the earth Be not angry if wee thy poore forsaken little children fall because thou O Lord our God knowest the matter whereof wee are made Wilt thou O God of inestimable fortitude shew forth thy power against a leafe which is whipped away by the winde And persecute a withered strawe Wilt thou O Eternell King of Israell damne a dead dogg wilt thou damne a single gnatt Wee haue heard O Lord of thy mercy and thou puttest not to death nor reioycest in the perdition of dying men Therefore doe wee beseeche thee O Lord that thou wilt not permitt that which thou hast not made to haue dominion ouer this creature of thine which thou hast made Nay thou art greiued with our perdition and what then O Lord shall be able to hinder thee who art omnipotent from eternally reioyceing in our saluation If thou wilt thou canst saue mee but I cannot doe it though I would The multitude of the miseries which I carry about mee is very greate It is at hand with mee to will a thing but I cannot finde the way to perfect it Yet I cannot euen will a good thing vnles thou also wi lt nor can I performe that which I haue a will to doe vnles thy power strengtheneth mee Yea and that which I haue power to doe falls out sometymes that I will not doe it vnles thy will may be done in Earth as it is in Heauen And what I will doe can doe I doe not knowe vnles thy wisedome illustrate mee And though also I doe knowe hauing sometymes a will to doe a thing and sometymes also a power to doe it yet my VVisdome passeth away all imperfect and empty as it is vnles thy true VVisdome helpe mee But in thy will all things are placed and there is none who can resist that will of thyne O thou the Lord of all thy Creatu-Creatures who hast supreame dominion ouer all flesh and doest worke whatsoeuer thou wilt in Heauen and in Earth in the Sea and in all the Abysses Let therefore thy will be done in vs vpon whome thy Name hath beene inuoked and let not this noble worke of thyne perish which thou diddest create for thyne owne glory And what man borne of woeman is hee who can liue not see death and deliuer his soule from the hand of hell vnles thou alone doe snatch him thence Thou who art the vitall life of all life whereby all things liue CHAP. XXV That the will of man wanteth efficacy towards good workes without the Grace of God I Haue now confessed to thee O thou prayse of my life O Lord my God and the strength of my Saluation that there was a tyme when I had confidence in myne owne strength which yet was noe strength at all And when I was so resolued to runne on where I thought my selfe to stand fastest there I fell fowlest insteede of aduanceing I retyred and I was more and more estranged from that which I thought to haue apprehended And so being come to know the little proportiō of my strēgth by the many experimēts which I made for the wāt thereof I doe now vnderstand because I haue bene illuminated by thee that whatsoeuer I haue thought my selfe most able to doe that could I euer bring least to passe For I sayd sometimes I will doe this and I will perfect that I did neither the one nor the other If I had the will I wanted the power If I had the power I had not then the will because I trusted in myne owne strength But now I confesse to thee O Lord my God the Father of Heauen and Earth that noe man shall ouercome in his owne strength to giue occasion thereby to the foolish presumption of flesh and blood to glory in thy sight For it is not in
lipps But my harte hath quaked and sayd Woe be vnto me who am a man of polluted lipps because I haue not held my peace but sayd that I knewe thee And yet O Lord woe be to them who are silent concerning thee For the greatest talkers may be accounted but dumbe if they doe not speake of thee And as for me O Lord my God I will not be silent concerning thee because thou hast made mee and I haue therefore knowne thee because thou hast illuminated me But yet how haue I knowen thee I haue knowen thee in thy selfe Yet I haue no knowen thee in thy selfe as thou art to thy selfe but I haue knowen thee as thou art to mee But yet howsoeuer it is not without thee but in thee because thou art the light which hast illuminated mee For as thou art to thy selfe thou art onely knowen to thy selfe but as thou art to mee by thy mercy and grace thou art knowen to mee But what art thou vnto mee Tel me O mercifull Lord who am thy miserable seruant tell me by thy mercy what thou art to mee Say to my soule I am thy saluation Doe not hide thy face from mee lest if thou doe I dye Suffer me to speake me who am dust and ashes suffer me to speake to thy mercy For thy mercy towards mee is greate and I will presume to speake to thee though I be but dust and ashes Tell mee who am thy supplyant say O mercifull Lord to thy miserable creature say by thy mercyes what thou art to mee And thou hast thundered downe with a mighty voyce vpon the inward eare of my hart and thou hast broken through my deafenes and I haue heard thy voyce And thou hast illuminated my blindenes and I haue seene thy light and haue knowen that thou art my God It is therefore that I sayd that I haue knowen thee For I haue knowen that thou art my God I haue knowen that thou art the onely true God and Iesus Christ whome thou hast sent For thrre wat a time when I knewe thee not bu woe be to that time when I knew not tgee Woe be to that blindenes when I sawe not thee Woe be to that deafnes when a heard not thee For being blinde deafe I did rush with great deformity vpon those things which yet thou had dest made fayre and thou wert still with mee but I was not with thee And those things kept mee farre from being with thee which yet if they had not bene in thee could haue had noe beeing at all Thou diddest illuminat mee O thou light of the world and I saw thee and I loued thee And indeede noe man loueth thee but he who sees thee and noe man sees thee but he who loues thee Too late am I come to loue thee O thou beauty which art so auntient and yet so new Too late am I come to loue thee and woe be to that time when I loued thee not CHAP. XXXII A Confession of true faith I Giue thankes O thou who art my light because thou hast illuminated mee and I haue knowen thee How haue I knowen thee I haue knowen thee to be the onely liueing God and my true creatour I haue knowen thee to bee the Creator of heauen earth of all things visible and inuisible to be the true Omnipotent God immortall inuisible vncircumscribed vnlimited eternall inaccessible incomprehensible inscrutable vnchangeable immense infinite the first beginning of all both visible inuisible creatures by whome all things are made and by whome all the Elements subsist Whose Maiestie as it neuer had any beginning soe neither shall it end for all eternity I haue knowen thee to be one onely true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost three Persons indeede but one essence and the same wholly simple and vndiuided nature And that the Father is of none that the Sonne is onely of the Father and that the Holy Ghost is iointly of them both euer without beginning and for euer to be without ending to be Trine and onely One and that the true Omnipotent God That thou art that one beginning of all things and the Creatour of all things both visible and inuisible spirituall and temporall who by thy Omnipotent vertue diddest in the beginning of Tyme create both the spirituall and corporall creature that is to say the Angells in heauen and the fabricke of the world and then thou madest man as being compounded both of body and soule I haue knowen thee and I doe confesse thee O God the Father to be vnbegotten and thee O God the Sonne to be begotten of the Father and thee O holy Ghost the Paraclete to be neither begotten nor vnbegotten And I beleiue with my harte to Iustice and I confesse with my mouth to saluatiō the holy and indiuiduall Trinity in three persons coequall consubstantiall and coeternall Trinity in Vnity and Vnity in Trinity I haue knowen thee the true God and our Lord Iesus Christ to be the onely begotten Sonne of God the Creatour the Sauiour and the Redeemer of mee and all mankinde whome I confesse to haue bene begotten of the Father before all ages God of God light of light true God of true God not made but begotten consubstantiall coeternall with the Father and the Holy Ghost by whome all things were made from the beginning And I beleiue firmely and confesse truely that thou O Iesus Christ the onely begotten God wert incarnate ioyntly by the holy Trinity for the saluation of man and that thou wert conceiued through the cooperation of the Holy Ghost by the perpetuall Vithin Mary and that thou wert made true man consisting of a reasonable soule and humane flesh Who being the onely begotten of God and consequently both impassible and immortall yea for the great loue wherewith thou louest vs thou being still the same sonne of God wert yet according to thy humanity made both passible mortall who being the onely sonne of God diddest voutchafe to suffer Passion and death vpon the tree of the crosse for the saluation of mankinde to the end that thou mightest deliuer vs from eternall death And being the author of light thou diddest descend to Hell where our fore-Fathers satt in darkenes And the third day being a glorious conquerer thou diddest rise vp from the dead resumeing thy sacred body which had lyen dead in the sepulchre for our sinnes and thou diddest quicken it the third day according to the scriptures that thou mightest place it at the right hand of thy Father For haueing ledd with thee out of captiuitie them whom our auntient enemy the enemy of all mankinde had captiued in Hell thou being the true Sonne of God didest ascend aboue all the heauens with the substance of our nature that is to say both with thy soule and that humaine flesh which thou haddest taken of the glorious Virgin And thou diddest surpasse all the quyers of Angels where thou sittest at the right hand of thy Father
and vnconceiuable before whome the Angelicall power of heauen doe euen shiuer whome the Thrones and Dominations doe adore and in whose presence all the Vertues of Heauen doe euen quake of whose power and Wisedome there is noe number who hast layd the foundations of the whole world vpon nothing who hast tyed vp the Sea as if it were in some skinne who art most Omnipotent most Holy and the most powerfull God ouer all the spirits of all mankinde From whose sight the heauen and earth doe fly away to whose becke all the elements are subiect let all thy creatures adore and glorify thy Name And I the Sonne of thy handmayd doe by faith bowe downe the necke of my harte vnder the feete of thy Maiestie presenting thee with thankes for that thou hast voutchsafed to illuminate mee by thy mercy True Light holy Light delightfull Light admirable Light superlaudable Light which illuminateth euery man comeing into this world and the eyes also of the Angels Behold now I see and I thanke thee for it Behold I see the light of heauen there is a beame which striketh brightly downe from the face of thy light vpon the eyes of my mynde and it filleth all the powers of my soule with ioy But O that once it might be perfected in mee Encrease I beseech thee O thou author of light encrease I beseech thee that which soe brightly striketh through vpon mee Let this light be dilated I beseech thee let it be dilated by thee What is this which I feele what fyre is this which heates any harte what fyre is this whereby my harte is stroken through with beames O fyre which euer burnest and art neuer quenched doe thou kindle mee O light which doest euer shine and art neuer darkened doe thou enlighten mee O how very fayne would I been flamed by thee O Holy fyre how sweetely doest thou heate how secretly doest thou shine and how delightfully dost thou burne Woe be to them who doe not burne by thee VVoe be to them which are not illuminated by thee O thou light which teachest truth to men illuminating all the world which is filled by the beames thereof VVoe be to those blinde eyes which see not thee thou being the sunne illuminating both heauen and earth VVoe be to those weake and daseling eyes which cannot looke on thee VVoe be to those eyes which turne themselues away from seeing truth and woe be to those eyes which doe not turne them selues away for feare least they behold vanity For eyes which are acustomed to darkenes haue not strength wherewith to behold the beames of soueraigne truth nor can they make any true iudgment of light whose habitation is wont to be in darkenes They see darkenes they allow of darkenes they loue darkenes and soe goeing from darkenes to darkenes they fall headlong and they knowe not where Miserable creatures they are who knowe not what they loose though yet more miserable are they who knowe what they loose and who yet fall with open eyes and dropp downe quicke into Hell O most blessed light which canst not be beheld but by eyes which are pure and wholly purged Blessed are the pure of harte for they shall see God Doe thou clense mee O thou clensing power cure my sight that I may contemplate thee with strong eyes For they are none but strong eyes which can looke on thee Putt away I beseech thee O thou inaccessible splendour the skales of that auntient mistynes by the beame of thy illumination that soe I may be able to looke on thee with certayne casts of my eye which may not be checked and beaten back and that I may see light in thy light I giue thee thankes O my light for behold now I see I beseech thee O Lord that it may be spred abroade by thee Vnuayle myne eyes that I may consider the wonderfull things of thy lawe thou who art wonderfull in thy Saints I giue thee thankes O my light for behold I see though as yet it be but by a representation as in a glasse But when will it be face to face when will that day of ioy and exultation arryue when I may enter into the place of that admireable Tabernacle the very house of God that so face to face I may see him who seeth mee and so my desire may be fullfilled CHAP. XXXV Of the desire and thirst of a soule towards God AS the harte desireth the fountaynes of water soe doth my soule thirst after thee O God My soule hath thirsted after thee O God who art the liueing fountayne when shall I come and appeare before thy face O thou fountayne of life thou vayne of liueing waters when shall I arriue to those waters of thy sweetnes from this barren vnhaunted and dry earth that I may see thy power and thy glory and that I may appease my thirst by the waters of thy mercy I thirst O Lord O thou fountayne of life satisfy mee for I thirst O Lord I thirst towards thee who art the liueing God When O Lord shall I approache and appeare before that face of thyne doest thou thinke that at length I shall see that day that day I say of delight and ioy that day which our Lord hath made to the end that wee may reioyce and exult therein O sweete and beautifull day which hath noe euening and whose Sunne hath nothing to doe with setting wherein I shall heare the voyce of prayse the voyce of exultation and confession wherein I shall heare this word Enter into the ioy of thy Lord enter into eternall ioy into the house of thy Lord and thy God where there are greate and vnsearcheable and wounderfull things whereof there is noe number Enter into ioy without sorrow which containeth eternall ioy where all good shall be without any kind of euill Where whatsoeuer thou wilt haue shall be and where nothing shall be which thou wilt not haue Where there will be a life which is vitall sweete amiable and eternall Where there will be noe enemy assaulting nor noe false delight allureing but a supreame and certayn security secure tranquillity a quiet ioy a ioyfull felicity a happy eternity and eternall beatitude a blessed Trinity a Trine Vnity a sole Deity a happy vision of that Deity which is the ioy of thy Lord and thy God O ioy vpon ioy ioy which excelleth all ioy without which there is noe ioy when shall I enter into thee that I may see my God who dwelleth in thee that soe I may there partake of this greate vision What is it which deteyneth mee VVoe be vnto mee because my habitation here is perlonged VVoe be vnto mee and how long shall it be sayd to mee where is thy God How long shall it be sayd to me Expect and reexpect But now what shall I expect Is it not thee O Lord my God VVee expect a Sauiour our Lord Iesus Christ who will reforme this poore meane body of ours and conforme it to
THE MEDITATIONS SOLILOQVIA AND MANVALL OF THE Glorious Doctour S. Augustine translated into English THE SECONDE EDITION PRINTED AT PARIS By M rs BLAGEART M.DC.LV. THE PREFACE TO THE READER before the Meditations Soliloquia and Manuall of S. Augustine THESE three little treatises of the great S. Augustine might all well haue bene called Manualls in respect that they are of soe smalle bulke as with ease to be portable by euery hand But yet as the are are little Manualls soe with all they may be accounted great Cordialls for the relation vvhich they haue and for the place vvhich they deserue to hold in the hart of man They principally consist of most sweete affections and aspirations which the enamoured soule of our incomparable Saint was euer breathing out to Almighty God beseeching him in most tender manner to be dravving it still neerer to himselfe Wee may see hovv he aspired to perfect vnion vvith that diuine Maiestie but withall vve must knowe that first he had taken paines to purge himselfe entirely from all errour sinne and vanitie and to plant the habits of vertue in his hart by a most attentiue and faithfull imitation of the humilitie and charitie of Christ our Lord. Vade tu fac similiter For vnlesse thou trauaile in that high way thou wilt neuer arriue to that iourneys end Nor art thou to looKe for any experimentall Knowledge of Gods sweetnes till by prayer practise of solid vertue the bitter iuyce of sinne and the offensiue smoake of passion be discharged But that being done roome is made for God and he will maKe thee Knowe and feele how good he is THE TABLE OF THE CHAPTERS contained in the Meditations THE FIRST CHAPTER THE Inuocation of the Omnipotent God for the amendement of his life page 1 Chap. 2. The accusation of man and the commendation and praise of the diuine mercy 4 Chap. 3. The complainte of a man who is not heard by our Lord through his disobedience page 9 Chap. 4. The feare of the Iudge page 12 Chap. 5. The Father is inuoked by the Sonne 16 Chap. 6. Heer man representeth the Passion of the Sonne to the Father page 19 Chap. 7. Heer man acknowledgeth that himselfe by his sinnes is the cause of the Passion of Christ our Lord page 23 Chap. 8. Heer man exposeth the Passion of the Sonne to God the Father for the reconciliation of man page 28 Cap. 9. Of the inuocation of the holy Ghost 35 Chap. 10. The prayer of the seruant of God conccauing humbly of himselfe 37 Chap. 11. A Prayer to the blessed Trinity 38 Chapter 12. A Confession of the Omnipotency and Maiesty of God 39 Chapter 13. How God the Eather vouchsafed to helpe mankinde and of the Incarnation of the worde page 42 Chap. 14. Of the confidence which a soule ought to haue in our Lord Iesus in his Passion 45 Chap. 15. Of the immense charity of the eternall Father towards mankinde page 48 Chap. 16. Of the twofolde nature of Christe our Lord who pittyeth and prayeth for vs. 52 Chap. 17. Of the thanks which a man owes to God for the benefitt of Redemption 56 Chap. 18. A prayer to Christ our Lord page 60 Chap. 19. He distinguisheth betweene that VVisdome which is called the howse of God and that other VVisdome which is supremely diuine page 65 Chap. 20. He prayeth that the spirituall howse of God may pray for him page 70 Chap. 21. How full this life of ours is of bitternesse 73 Chap. 22. Of the felicity of that life which our Lord hath prepared for them that loue him 75 Chap. 23. Of the felicity of that soule which departeth hence 78 Chap. 24. He inuoketh the Saynts 80 Chap. 25. The desire of the soule toward the supernall Citty of Ierusalem page 87 Chap. 26. A Hymne of Paradise page 88 Chap. 27. Of the continuall praise which a soule conceiueth by the contemplation of the Diuinity 93 Chap. 28. VVhat it is to see God and to inioy him after a sort and how we are to thinke of God 98 Chap. 29. He declareth many propertyes of Almighty God 100 Chap. 30. Of the vnity of God and the plurality of Persons in him page 107 Chap. 31. A prayer to the blessed Trinity 112 Chap. 32. That God is the true and souuereigne life 114 Chap. 33. Of the praise which men and Angells giue to God 117 Chap. 34. He complayneth against himselfe for not being moued with the contemplation of God whereat the Angells tremble 124 Chap. 35. A prayer which greatly moueth the hart to Deuotion and to Diuine loue 128 Chap. 36. A most deuoute Prayer by way of thanks-giueing 138 Chap. 37. A most holy most excellent Prayer to almighty God whereby the soule is greatly moued to deuotion page 148 Chap. 38. A Prayer to be made in affliction 161 Chap. 39. Another Prayer to our Lord Iesus Christe 163 Chap. 40. Another Prayer to God 172 Chap. 41. A Prayer vpon the Passion Christe our Lord 180 THE TABLE OF THE CHAPTERS contained in the Soliloquia THE FIRST CHAPTER OF the vnspeakable sweetnes of God pag 192 Chap 2. Of the misery and fragility of man p. 200 Chap. 3 Of the admirable light of God 206 Chap. 4. Of the mortality of Mans nature 208 Chap. 5. VVhat it is to be made nothing 211. Chap. 6 Of the fall of a soule by sinne 215 Chap. 7. Of the manifolde benefits of Almigthy God 216 Chap. 8. Of the future Dignity of Man 221 Chap. 9. Of the Omnipotency of God 226 Chap. 10. Of the incomprehensible prayse of God 228 Chap. 11. Of the hope which is to be erected towards God 231 Chap. 12. Of the snares of concupiscence 234 Chap. 13. Of the misery of man the benefits of God 238 Chap. 14. That God doth consider the workes and purposes of mankinde with a perpetuall attention 243 Chap. 15. That Man of himselfe can doe nothing without diuine grace 248 Chap. 16. Of the temptation of the deuill 255 Chap. 17. That God is the Light of iust Persons 259 Chap. 18 Of the benefits of God 265 Chap. 19. Of the feruour of charity 271 Chap. 20. That God hath submitted all things to the seruice of man 274 Chap. 21. That the greatenes of the diuine counsell may be inferred by the consideration of temporall blessings 277 Chap. 22. That the diuine sweetnes taketh away all the present bitternes of the world 280 Chap. 23. That all our hope ought to be placed in our Lord 284 Chap. 24. That all our saluation depends vpon our God 286 Chap. 25. That the will of man wanteth efficacy towards goods workes without the grace of God 289 Chap. 26. Of the antient benefits of Almighty God 291 Chap. 27. Of the Angels which are deputed to the custody of man 293 Chap. 28. Of the profound predestination and prescience of God 298 Chap. 29. Of them who first were iust and afterwards became wiked 303 Chap. 30. That a faithfull
abhorr thee When therefore thou art angry thou dost not onely not strike the offenders but euē impartest blessings to them if they giue ouer offending O thou my God! the very horne of my saluation and my vpholder I wretched creature haue offended thee I haue done wickedly in thy sight I haue deserued thy wrathe I haue prouoked thy fury I haue sinned and thou hast suffred me I haue offended and thou yet endurest me If I repent thou pardonest if I returne thou receiuest nay more then this whilest I am deferring thou expectest me Thou dost reduce me when I err thou inuitest me when I resiste thou staiest for me when I am dull thou imbracest me when I returne Thou teachest me when I am ignorant thou cherrishest me when I am afflicted thou raisest me whilest I fall thou restorest me when I am fallen thou giuest me when I aske thou art found when I seeke thee and thou openest when I knock O Lord the God of my saluation behold I know not what I may alledge I know not what to answere I haue no refuge nor hole to retire my serfe into from thee Thou hast showed me the way of good life and thou hast giuen me knoweledge how to cōduct my selfe thou haste treatned me with the feare of hell thou hast allured me with the hope of the glory of heauen And now O Father of mercyes ô God of all consolation strike through my very flesh with thy feare to the end through feare I may auoide that which thou threatnest and restore to me the ioy of thy sauing grace that by loue I may obteyne the thinges which thou promisest O Lord my strength and my fundation my God my refuge my deliuerer inspire me with what I ought to thinke of thee teach me with what words I should inuoke thee impart the power of performeinge those workes wherby I may please thee I know there is one thing wherby thou art appeased an other which thou art not wont to despise To witt an afflicted soule is a sacrifice to thee and thou vouchsafest to accept an humble and contrite hart O my God and my helper inrich me I beseech thee with these guifts defend me against mine enemy by these graces impart this refreshinge to me against the burninge heat of sensualityes and lett this refuge be open to me against the importunity of all inordinate desires O Lord the strength of my saluatiō doe not permitt me to be of them who beleeue in thee for a season but in the tyme of temptation departe from thee Ouer shadow this head of mine in the day of battell O thou who art my hope in the tyme of affliction and my saueing health in the tyme of tribulation Behold ô Lord ô thou my light and my saluation I haue begged those things of thee which I neede I haue intimated those things which I apprehend and feare but my conscience fills me with remorse the secretts of my hart reprooue me and that which loue gathered together feare scattereth and that which zeale moues me too distrust drawes me from My sinns giue me terrour but thy pitty putts me into hope thy bounty exhorts me though myne owne malignity holds me back And that I may confesse a truth the images and representations of my old sinns be still obtrudeing themselues on my memory they hold me downe from presumeing too farr CHAP. III. The complainte of a man who is not heard by our Lord through his disobedience FOr in fine when a man is worthy of hate with what face shall he desire fauour To whome punishment is due what rash boldnes is it for him to expect glory He prouoketh his Iudge who instead of giueinge satisfaction for his offence pretends to be honored with rewards He insults vpon his Kinge who beinge obnoxious to punishment will aduenture to begg a prize which is not due to him And that foolish sonne would exasperate the tender hart of his father who hauinge reproached the same father would presume to vsurpe the honour of the inheritance before he had disposed himself to pennance What is this ô my deare Father which I say I haue done I haue deserued death and yet I aske life I haue offēded my souueraigne Kinge whose aide I doe yet thus impudently implore I haue despised my Iudge whome thus rashly I desire to be my helper Most insolently haue I refused so much as to harken to my Father whom yet I am presumeinge to haue for my defender Woe be vnto me how late doe I come woe be to me how slack am I in makeing haste woe be to me who am runninge still hauing receiued fresh wounds and yet vouchsafe not when I am wel to preuent the pearcinge of new arrowes I haue neglected to forsee the darts before they came but now that I behold my death at hand I am full of trouble I added wounds to wounds because I feared not to add crimes to crimes My ancient scarrs I haue broken through with new violence because my late iniquities haue corresponded with my ancient sinns and that which thy diuine phisick had cured and closed the itch of my frensy hath opened againe The skinn which being drawen ouer my wounds did conceale my infirmity hath putrified by the breaking out of filthy blood whilest that iniquity which I iterated did euacuate the mercy which thou dist grante For I well know how it is written In what houre soeuer the iust man shall sinn all his iustice shal be forgotten And now if the iustice of the iust man shal be forgotten when he falls how much more shall the peunance of a sinner be forgotten if he returne againe to comitt those sinns How often like a dogg haue I returned to my vomitt and like a sowe haue I weltered againe in the mire I may wel confesse it for it is impossible but I should remember it How many ignorant persons haue I taught the way how to sinn how many haue I persuaded who had no minde to it I haue compelled such as resisted and I haue consented to such as desired For how many haue I laide a snare who were already in the right way and for others who sought that way I haue digged a pitt and to the end that I might not abhorr the doeinge of these things I feared not to cast them out of my minde But thou ô iust Iudge who sealest vp the accounts of my sinns and who standest watchinge ouer all my wayes and haste numbered euery one of my stepps thou I say heldest thy peace thou hast euer beene silent and euer patient But woe is me thou wilt at length cry out like a woman who is in the torment of child-bedd CHAP. IV. The feare of the Iudge O God of Gods O Lord who art too hard for the malice and sinn of man I knowe that one day thou wilt appeare I know that thou wilt not be allwayes silent when the fire shall burn in thy sight and that
Is not he ô my Lord that innocent person who beinge thine onely Sōne was deliuered by thee to the end that he might redeeme thy slaue Is not he the author of life who yet is carried like à sheepe to slaughter and being made obedient to thee did not feare to vndergoe a most outragious kinde of death which was most hydeously greiuous Call to minde ô thou who art the dispenser of all saluation that this is that very he whome although thou didst begett out of thyne owne substance and strength thou didest yet ordeyne to be partaker of my infirmity Yea this indeed is that Deity of thyne which apparelled it selfe with my nature that nature ascended vp to the tree of the Crosse endured bitter torment in the flesh which it assumed Send downe ô Lord my God the eyes of thy Majesty vpon this worke of thy vnspeakable piety Behold thy sweete Sonne beinge stretched out from head to foote Beholde those innocent hands all distillings with his pretious blood and thou beinge once appeased forgiue the wickednes which my hands haue wrought Consider that disarmed side of his which is pearced by the pointe of a cruell Launce and renew me in that most sacred springe which I beleeue flowed downe from thence Cast an eye towards those immaculate feete of his which neuer stood in the way of sinners but did alwayes walke in thy Lawe See how they are fastned with cruell nailes and doe thou perfect my paces in thy pathewayes and mercifully make me hate all wayes of wickednes Remoue the way of iniquity from me and of thy goodnes make me choose the way of truthe I beseech thee ô Kinge of Saynts by this Redeemer of mine that thou wilt make me runn with speed through the way of thy Commandemētes that so I may be vnited to him in spiritt who disdayned not to be vested with my flesh Dost thou not ô holy Father obserue how that most deere head of thy Sonne he being yet but in the flower of his youth is hanging downe vpon that necke which is as white as snowe and doth resolue it selfe into a most pretious death Beholde ô thou most meeke Creator the humanity of thy beloued Sonne and take pitty vpon the weakenes of our fraile nature That bare brest of his is lilly-pale that side is all read and goared with blood those bowells are withered with being stretched out those sweete bright eyes doe languish that imperiall face is all discoloured those long and gracefull armes are growen stiffe those marble thighes are hanging downe and those springs of that pretious blood doe bedew bathe his transperced feete Behold ô glorious Father the torne lymms of thy most beloued Sonne and in thy mercy remember that he carrieth my nature about him Behold the punishment of that man who is God and release the misery of that man who was created by him Behold the punishment of the Redeemer and remitt and pardon his offence who is redeemed This is he ô my Lord whome thou didst strike for the sinns of thy people though he be still that beloued in whome thou art so well pleased This is that innocent person in whome noe guile was found and yet he was esteemed to be one of the wicked CHAP. VII Here man acknowledgeh that himselfe by his sinnes is the cause of the Passion of Christ our Lord. WHAT hast thou committed ô thou most sweete childe that thou shouldest so be iudged what hast thou committed ô most amiable yonge man that thou shouldest be treated so what is thy wickednes what is thy cryme what is the cause of thy death what is the occasion of thy condemnation It is I it is I who am that wound which putts thee to payne and I am the cryme which kills thee and I am the man who deserued that death which thou endurest I am the wickednes wherof reueng is taken vpon thee I am that sornes of thy Passion I am the labour of thy torment O admirable kind of sentence O disposition of an vnspeakable mistery The wicked man sinns and the iust man is punished The guilty person offends and the innocent man bears the blowes the impious man errs and the holy man is condemned That which the wicked man deserues the holy man endures that which the slaue borrowes his Lord pays that which man committs God vndergoes How lowe ô Sonne of God how lowe did thy humility descend how high did thy charity burne vp how farr did thy piety proceed howe wide did thy benignity extend whither did thy loue aspire and where did thy compassiō arriue For it is I who haue done wickedly and thou art punished I who haue committed the cryme and thou art layd vpon the Racke I grewe proude and thou art humbled I was puffed vp and thou art extenuated I haue showed my selfe disobedient and thou being obedient dost answeare for the paine due to that disobedience I haue obeyed the temptation of gluttony and thou art halfe consumed for lacke of meate Distempered affection drewe me on apace to vnlawfull concupiscence and perfect charity was that which led thee on to the Crosse I presumed to doe that which was forbiddē thou didst vndergoe torments I am delighted with meate thou art in labour vpon the Crosse I am fed with delight thou art torne with nailes I tasted the sweetnes of the apple thou the bitternes of gall Eue laughs congratulats my sinn with me but Mary weeps and takes compassion with thee Behold O Kinge of glory behold how my impiety and thy piety are made apparent by one another Beholde how my iniustice thy Iustice are made cleerly manifest What! O my King and my God shall I render for all those things which thou hast bestowed on me For there is nothinge to be found in the hart of man which can beare any portion to thy singular benefites Can the sharpnes of mans conceite thinke of any thinge to which the mercy of God may be cōpared Noe it is not in the power of a creature to performe any seruice that can make full amends to his Creator But yet O Sonne of God there is somewhat in this admirable dispensation of thine there is some what wherein my frailty may answeare in some small proportion to what I owe if by the visitation of thy holy Spiritt my contrite hart may crucify my flesh with the vices and concupiscences therof And when this fauour is granted me by thee I doe already as it were beginn to suffer sweetly with thee because thou didest vouchsafe to dye for my sinns And thus by the victory of the inward man he is prepared through thy help toward an euident triumph so that the spirituall persecution being ouercome he fears not to submitt himselfe for the loue of thee to a materiall sword And in this manner if it be pleasinge to thy mercy the weakenes of our condition wil bee able accordinge to our litle strength to correspond with the greatenesse of our
iniustice is great I confesse it but farr greater is the Iustice of my Redeemer For as much as God is Superior to man so much is my malice inferior to his goodnes both in quantity and quality For in what hath man sinned wherin the Sonne of God being made Man hath not redeemed him What pride was able to swell so highe as that so great humility would not be able to beate it downe What dominion of death could be so absolute which the torment of the Crosse indured by the Sone of God will not destroy Infaillibly O my God if the faults of a sinfull man and the grace of him who redeemed them be putt into an equall ballance the East will not be found so farr distant from the west nay the lowest parte of hell will not be found so farr distant from the highest pich of heauen as they two will be Now therfore O thou most excellent Creator of light pardon my faults through the immense labours of thy beloued Sonne Lett now I beseech thee his piety propitiate for my impiety his modesty for my peruersity his meekenes for my rudenes his humility for my pride his patience for my impatiēce his benignity for my harshnes his obedience for my disobedience his tranquillity for my vnquietnesse his sweetenes for my bitternesse his mildnesse for my anger and let his charity ouerworke my cruelty CHAP. IX Of the inuocation of the Holy Ghost O Loue of that diuine power the Holy communication of the Omnipotent Father and of the most blessed Sonne O thou Omnipotent Holy Ghoste the most sweete comforter of the afflicted slipp thou downe euen very now by thy puissant vertue into the most secrett corners of my hart and by the splendor of thy cleere light illuminate ô thou deere dweller in our soules these darke retreyts of our neglected habitations and by thy visitation and by the abundance of thy dewe from heauen make my soule growe fruitfull which by reason of so longe a drought is all deformed and decayed Wound thou the most retyred parts of this inward man with the darts of thy loue and inflame and pearce the very marrowe of my dull hart with those healthfull fires of thine And by the flame of thy holy feruour illuminate thou and feed the very interiour both of my whole body and minde Giue me once to drink of the torrent of thy delights that now I may noe more haue a minde so much as euen to taste of the pestiferous sweetnesse of wordly things Iudge me ô Lord and discerne my cause from all wicked people and teach me to doe thy will for thou art my God I beleeue therfore that whomesoeuer thou dost inhabite thou dost build vp a dwellinge place in him both for the Father and the Sonne Blessed is he who shall arriue to intertayne thee because by thee both the Father the Sonne will remaine with him Come come euen now O thou moste benigne Comforter of all woefull soules Thou who protectest them when they haue most need and art their helper in tribulation Come ô thou clenser of sinns and curer of wounds Come ô thou strength of the weake ô thou who stayest such as are falling Come ô thou teacher of the humble and distroyer of the proude Come ô deare Father of Orphants and fauorable Iudge of widowes Come thou hope of the poore thou cherisher of such as fainte Come thou propitious starr of such as sayle thou hauen against the danger of shipwrack Come ô thou excellent ornament of such as liue the onely helpe of such as dye Come ô most holy Spiritt Come and haue mercy on me make me fitt for thy self condiscend to me with pitty that my meanenesse may growe pleasing to thy greatnesse and my weakenes to thy strength Accordinge to the multitude of thy mercyes through Iesus Christe my Sauiour who with the Father doth liue ad reigne in thy vnity for euer and euer Amen CHAP. X. The Prayer of the Seruant of God conceauing humbly of himselfe I Knowe O Lord I knowe and I confesse that I am not worthy that thou shouldest loue me but yet at least it is certaine that thou art not vnworthy to be beloued by me It is true that I am vnworthy to serue thee but it is also true that thou art not vnworthy to be serued by thy Creatures Giue me therfore somewhat O Lord of that which maketh thee so worthy and so I shall growe worthy who am vnworthy Make me cease from sinn by what meanes thou wilt to the end that I may serue thee as I ought Grant that I may so addresse and order and end my life that I may sleepe in peace and repose in thee Grant that in the end the sleepe of death may receiue me with rest rest with securiry and security with eternity Amen CHAP. XI A Prayer to the blessed Trinity WE confesse to thee with our whole hart and with our mouth we praise and blesse thee O God the Father who art vnbegotten and thee O God the Sonne who art the onely begotten and thee O God the holy Ghoste who art the Paraclete To thee O holy and indeuiduall Trinity be glory for all eternityes Amen CHAP. XII A Confession of the Omnipotency and Maiesty of God O Supreame Trinity O thou sole power vndeuided Majesty O God of ours O Omnipotent God I confesse to thee who am the vnworthyest of thy seruāts and the weakest of thy mēbers I cōfesse to thee in thy Church and I giue thee honor by offering thee a due sacrifice of praise according to that little power and skill which thou haste vouchsafed to affoord me thy miserable creature And because I haue no external presents which I can make to thee therfore these desires and vowes of seruice and praise which by the guift of thy mercy are in me behold how with an vnfained faith and with a pure conscience I offer them to thee not onely with a good will but with a hart which is full of triūph and ioy I beleeue therfore with my whole hart and I confesse with my mouth O thou Kinge of heauen ad Lord of earth that thou the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghoste art in Persons three and in Substance one that thou art God Omnipotent of one simple incorporeall inuisible and vncircumscribed nature That there is nothing either aboue thee or belowe thee or greater then thou but that thou art sublymely and absolutely perfect whithout the least deformity Great without quantity good without quality eternall yet wholly without Tyme That thou hast life without death that thou art strong without any weakenesse true without falshoode euery where present without being scituated any where filling all things yet without any extension occurringe euery where yet without any crossinge or contradiction Transcending all things without Motion remaneinge in all things without Station creatinge all things without looseinge or wantinge any thing and ruleinge all things without
commerce O admirable and for euer to beloued benignity of the diuine mercy We were not worthy to be seruants and yet behold we are made the Sonnes of God Nay we are the heires of God and coheirs of Christ Whence came this to vs and who brought vs to this But I beseeche thee O thou most mercifull God the Father by this inestimable goodnes and piety and charity of thine make vs worthy of the many and great promisses of thy Sonne our Lord Iesus-Christe imploy thy strength and confirme that in vs which thou hast wrought Perfect that which thou haste begun that we may deserue to attayne to the fulnesse of thy mercy Inable vs by thy Holy Spiritt to vnderstand deserue and reuerence with due honor this great mystery of piety which is manifested in the flesh iustified in the spirit hath appeared to Angells is preached to Gentiles is beleeued in the world and is assumed to glory CHAP. XVII Of the thanks which a man owes to God for the benefitt of Redemption O How deepely are we thy debters O Lord our God being redeemed by so high a price being saued by so rich a guift being assisted by so glorious a benefitt How much art thou to be feared loued blessed praised honored and glorified by vs miserable creatures whom thou haste so loued saued sanctifyed and exalted For to thee doe we owe all our power all our beeing and all our knowledg And who hath any thinge which is not thyne Thou art our Lord and our God from whom all things proceed For thy selfe and for thy holy Name giue vs So me part of thy heauenly riches that by meanes of those blessings and guifts of thyne we may serue please thee in truth and that by way of returne we may dayly render thee all due praise for so many benefits of thy mercy Nor can we serue thee or praise thee by any other meanes then by thy owne guift For euery good grace and euery perfect guift is from aboue descending from thee the Father of lights wiht whom there is noe change nor so much as any shadow of mutability O Lord our God! deare God good God Omnipotent God vnspeakable God whose nature cannot be circumscribed God the ordeyner of all things the Father of our Lord Iesus-Christe who diddest send the same beloued Sonne of thyne our most sweete Lord out of thy bosome for our vniuersall profitt to take our life vpon him that he might bestowe his life vpon vs and that he might be perfect God of thee the Father and perfect Man of his Mother all God and all Man and one and the same Christe eternall and temporall immortall and mortall Creator and creature stronge weake triumphant and yet ouercome the nourse and the creature which is nourished the Pastor the sheepe he that dyed for a tyme and dyed in time and yet is liueinge for all eternity He promiseinge to such as loued him that they should be prouided for said thus to his Disciples What soeuer you shall aske the Father in my name he wil giue it to you By this Supreame Sacrifice and true Preist and good Pastor who offered himselfe in Sacrifice to thee laying downe his life for his flocke by him I beseech thee who sitteth at thy right hand and interceedeth for vt being our Redeemer and Aduocate before thy pitty and goodnesse I beseech thee I say O God the most deere and benigne louer of mankinde that thou wilt giue me grace with the same Sonne of thyne and the Holy Ghoste to praise and glorify thee in all things with great contrition of hart and a fountaine of teares with much reuerence and trembling because theirs whose the substance is theirs also are all the accessaryes therof But because the body which is corrupted doth depresse the soule I beseeche thee to rowse vp my dullnes by thy vertue and make me perseuere with strength in thy Commaundements and praises day and night Grant that my hart may wax warme within me and that whilest I am in meditation the fire may burne And because thy onely Sonne himselfe did say No man cometh to me vnlesse the Father who sent me drawe him and no man cometh to the Father but by me I beseech and humbly pray thee be thou euer draweing me to him that at last he may bring me thither to thee where he is sittinge at thy right hand where there is an eternall life eternally happy where there is perfect loue and noe feare where there is an euerlastinge day and one spirit of them all where there is certaine and supreame security and secure tranquillity and serene alacrity and sweet felicity and happy eternity and eternall beatitude and a blessed praise and vision of thee which neuer ends where thou with him and he with thee and both in the communion of the same Holy Ghoste doe sempiternally liue and being God dost reigne for euer and for euer Amen CHAP. XVIII A Prayer to Christe our Lord. O Christ my God my hope Sweete louer of mankinde Light life way health And beauty most refin'd Behould those things which thou Did'st suffer vs to saue The chaynes the wounds the Crosse The bitter death the graue Riseing within three dayes From conquering death and hell By thy Disciples seene Reforminge mindes so well Vpon the fortieth day Climeing the Heauens soe high Thou liuest now and thou Shalt raigne eternally THou art my liueing and true God my holy Father my deare Lord my greate Kinge my good shepheard my onely instructor my best helper my most beautifull louer my liueinge breade my Eternall Preist my guide into my country my true light my holy sweetnes my right way my excellent wisdome my pure simplicity my peaceable concord my safe custody my good portion my euerlasting saluation my great Mercy my inuincible patience my imaculate Sacrifice my holy Redemption my firme hope my perfect charity my true Resurrection my eternall life my excessiue ioy and most blessed Vision which is for euer to remaine I pray thee I begg of thee I beseech thee that I may walke by thee passe on by thee and repose in thee who art the way the truth and the life without whome no man cometh to the Father For thou art he whome I desire O thou most sweete most beautifull Lord O thou splendor of thy Fathers Glory who sittest aboue the Cherubins and beholdest from thence the most profound Abysses which are belowe thou light which declareth truth illuminateing light light which neuer leaues to shine whome the Angells desire to behold Loe my hart is before thee disperse the darknes therof that by the clearnes of thy loue it may be yet more fully strucken and beaten through with light Giue thy selfe to me O my God restore thy selfe to me Behold I loue thee and if it be to little make me loue thee more I cannot measure out to know how much of my loue is wanting to thee of that which ought to make it
my selfe in the most secret corner of my hart that doe I not conceale from thy paternall eares Thou art rich in thy mercy and liberall in thy rewards grant me some of thy good guifts that therby I may doe seruice to thee For we cannot serue nor please thee by any other meanes then of thy guift Strick through I beseech thee this flesh of mine with thy feare Let my hart reioyce that it may feare thy name O that my sinfull soule might so feare thee as that holy Man did who said I haue allwayes feared God like the waues of a Sea which were flowing ouer me O God thou giuer of all good things grant me whilest I am celebratinge thy praises a fountayne of tears together with purity of hart and ioy of minde that loueing thee perfectly and praiseinge thee worthily I may feele and taste and sauour with the very palate of my soule how sweete delicious thou art O Lord accordinge to that which is written Taste and see how sweete our Lord is Blessed is the man who hopes in him Blessed is the people which vnderstandeth this ioy Blessed is the man whose helpe is from thee He hath disposed of certayne degrees whereby to rise vp in his hart in this valley of tears in the place which he hath appointed Blessed are the cleane of hart for they be the men who shall see God Blessed are they who dwell in thy house O Lord for they shall praise thee for euer for euer CHAP. XXXV A prayer which greatly moueth the hart to Deuotion and to Diuine loue O Iesus our Redemption our Desire and our Loue thou God of God giue helpe to me who am thy seruant I inuoKe thee I call vpon thee with a mighty crye and with my whole hart I inuoke thee into my soule enter into it make it fitt for thy selfe that thou maist possesse it without spott and wrinckle For to a most pure Lord a most pure habitation is due Sanctify me therfore who am the vessell which thou hast made Euacuate me of malice and fill me with grace and still keepe me full that I may be made a Temple worthy to be inhabited by thee both here and in the other euerlasting world O thou most sweete most benigne most loueing most deer most powerfull most desireable most pretious most amiable most beautifull God thou who art more sweete then hony more white then any milk or snow more delicious then Nectar more pretious then gold or jewells and more deere to me then all the riches and honors of the earth But what doe I say O my God O thou my onely hope and my so abundant mercy What doe I say O thou my happy and secure sweetnes What doe I say when I vtter such things as these I say what I can but I doe not say what I should O that I could say such things as those Quires of Angells doe vtter in those celestiall Hymns O how willingly would I euen spend powre out my whole selfe vpon thy praises O how faine would I most deuoutly and most indefatigablie proclaime those Hymns of celestiall melody in the middest of thy Church to the praise and glory of thy Name But because I am not able to doe these things compleatly shall I therefore hold my peace woe be to them who hold their peace of thee who loosest the tongues of dumm persons and makest the tongues of children eloquent Woe woe be to them who hold their peace of thee for euen they who speak most may be accompted to be but dumbe when they doe not speake thy praise But now who shal be able worthily to prayse thee O thou vnspeakable Wisdome of the Father But yet although I finde noe wordes whereby I may sufficiently vnfold thee who art the Omnipotent and Omniscient Word I will yet in thy meane tyme say what I can till thou biddest me come to thee where I may say that of thee which is fitt and which I am bound to say And therefore I humbly pray that thou wilt not haue an eye so much to that which I say now in deed as to that which I say in my desire For I desire and that with a great desire to say that of thee which is fitt and iust because it is fitt that thou be praised and celebrated and all honor is due to thee Thou seest therefore O God thou who knowest of all secrett things that thou art more deer to me not onely then the earth and all that is therein but that thou art more acceptable and amiable to me then heauen it selfe and all that it conteynes For I loue thee more then heauen and earth and all those other things which are in them Nay these transitory things are without doubt not to be beloued at all if it weare not for the loue of thy Name I loue thee O my God with a greate loue and I desire to loue thee yet more Giue me grace that I may euer loue thee as much as I desire and as much as I ought that thou alone maist be all my intention and all my meditation Let me consider thee all the day long without ceasinge let me feele thee euen when I am sleeping by night let my spiritt speake to thee lett my minde conuerse with thee let my hart be illustrated with the light of thy holy vision that thou being my Director and my Captayne I may walke on from vertue to vertue and that at last I may see thee the God of Gods in Syon Now as in a glasse or in a cloude but then face to face where I shall knowe thee as I am knowen Blessed are the cleane of hart for they are the men who shall see God Blessed are they who dwell in thy howse O Lord for euer and for euer shall they praise thee I beseech thee therefore O Lord by all thy mercyes whereby we are freed from eternall death mollyfy my hart which is hard stony and rocky and steely with thy powerfull and most sacred vnction and grant that by the fire of contrition I may become a liueing sacrifice before thee in euery moment of my life Make me euer to haue a contrite and humbled hart in thy presence with abundance of tears Grant that through my great desire of thee I may be vtterly deade to this world and that I may forgett these transitory things through the greatnes of my loue and feare of thee and this so farr forth as that I may neuer reioyce nor mourne nor feare any thinge which is temporall and that I may not loue them least so I be eyther corrupted by prosperity or deiected by aduersity And because the loue of thee is strōg as death I beseech thee that the fiery and mellifluous force of thy loue may suck vp and deuoure my whole minde from all those things which are vnder heauen that I may in heare to thee alone and be fedd with the memory of thy onely sweetnes O Lord
I beseech thee I beseech thee and still I beseech thee that the most sweete odour of thee and thy mellifluous loue may descend and enter into my hart Lett that admirable and vnspeakable fragrance of thy sauour come into me which may kindle an euerlastingly a burning desire of thee in my hart and which may draw out from thence those vaynes of water which spring vp to eternall life Thou art immense O Lord and therfore it is but reason that thou be loued and praised beyond all measure by them whome thou hast redeemed with thy pretious Blood O thou most benigne louer of man O thou most mercifull Lord and most vnpartiall Iudge to whome the Father gaue all power of Iudgment Thou seest how vniust a thinge it is that the children of this world the children of night and darknes should with a more ardent desire indeauour and study and seeke perishing riches and transitory honors then we thy seruants doe loue thee our God by whome we are created and redeemed But if on the other side a man will affect some man with so great loue as that one of them will scarce indure the absence of the other if the Spouse be transported with so great ardour of affection to her fellow Spouse that through the greatnes of her loue shee can take noe rest nor beare the absence of that dearest freind without deep sorrowe with what loue with what labour with what feruour ought that soule which thou haste espoused to thy self by Faith and other mercyes loue thee her true God and her most beautifull Spouse who hast so loued and saued her and haste done so many and so great thinges for her good For although this world haue certayne delights and loues belonging to it yet doe they not so delight as thou O God In thee the iust man is indeed delighted because thy loue is sweete and quiet for the harts which thou dost possesse thou fillest with tranquillity sweetnes and delight On the other side the loue of this world and of the flesh breeds anxiety and pertubation and depriues thoses soules of quietnes into which it enters for it doth euer sollicite them with suspitions perturbations and many fears Thou art therefore the delight of iust persons that iustly For the strength of rest and peace is with thee and a life vncapable of perturbation He who enters into thee O deere Lord enters into the ioy of his Lord and shall haue nothing more to feare but shall finde himselfe to be perfectly well in the most excellent place which can be thought and he will say This is my rest for all eternityes this shal be my habitation for I haue chosen it And agayne Our Lord gouernes me and nothing shal be wantinge in that place of full feedinge yea there it is that he hath lodged me Sweete Christ deare Iesus fill my hart for euer I beseech thee with the vnquenchable loue and the continuall memory of thee in such sort as that I may all burn vp like any eager flame in the sweetnes of thy loue which many waters may neuer be able to extinguish in me Grant O most sweete Lord that I may loue thee and that through the desire of the I may discharge my selfe of the waight of all carnall desires and of the most greiuous burthen of all earthly concupiscences which impugne and oppresse my miserable soule that running lightly after thee in the odour of thy pretious oyntements till I be effectually satisfyed with the vision of thy beauty I may with all speed arriue thither by thy cōduct For there are two kindes of loues one good and another badd one sweete and another bitter and they cannot both remayne in one hart And therefore if any man loue any thinge in dishonour of thee thy loue O Lord is not in him That loue of sweetnes and that sweetnes of loue not tormenting but delightinge a loue which remaineth sincerely and chastely for all eternity a loue which euer burnes and is neuer quenched O sweete Christe O deer Iesus O Charity my God inflame me all with thy fire with thy loue with thy sweetnes and delight with thy ioy exultation with thy pleasure and ardent desire which is holy and good chaste and pure secure and serene that being all full of the sweetnes of thy loue and all burnt vp in the flame of thy charity I may loue thee O God with my whole hart and with all the marrow of my affections haueing thee still and euery where in my hart in my mouth and before my eyes so that there may neuer be any place open in me for any adulterine or impure loue Hearken to me O my God hearken to me O thou light of mine eyes Hearken to what I aske and teach me what to aske that thou maist hearken to me O thou pittious and most mercifull Lord doe not become inexorable to me for my sinns but for thyne owne goodnes sake receiue these prayers of thy Sonne and grant me the effect of my petition and desire by the intercession prayer and impetration of the glorious Virgin Mary my Lady and Mother and of all thy other Saints Amen CHAP. XXXVI A most deuoute Prayer by way of thanks-giueing O Christ our Lord the Word of the Father who camest into the world to saue sinners I beseech thee by the most indulgent bowells of thy mercy amend my life better my actions compose my manners take all that from me which hurteth me and displeaseh thee and giue me that which thou knowest to please thy selfe and profitt me Who is he but onely thou O Lord who can make a man cleane he being conceiued of vncleane seed Thou art an Omnipotent God of infinite piety who iustifiest the wicked and reuiuest such as are dead through sinn thou changest sinners and they are so no more Take from me therefore whatsoeuer is displeasing to thee in me For thyne eyes haue seene my many imperfections Send forth I beseeche thee thy hand of piety towards me and take from me whatsoeuer is offensiue in me to thyne eyes Before thee O Lord is my health and sicknes conserue that I beseech thee and cure this Heale me O Lord and I shal be healed doe thou saue me and I shal be saued thou who curest the sick and conseruest the sound thou who with the onely beck of thy will restorest that which is in decay and ruine For if thou vouchsafe to sowe good seede in thy feild which is my hart it will first be necessary that with the hand of thy pitty thou shouldest pluck vp the thornes of my vices O most sweete most benigne most loueing most deer most desirable most amiable and most beautifull God infuse I beseech thee the multitude of thy sweetnes and of thy loue into my hart that I may not so much as desire yea or euen thinke of any carnall thinge but that I may loue onely thee and haue onely thee in my hart and mouth Write
is become of thyne ancient mercyes wilt thou be anggry with me for euer Be thou appeased I beseeche thee and haue mercy on me and doe not turne thy face from me thou who for the redeeminge of me didst not turne thy face from such as did reproch and spitt at thee I confesse that I haue sinned and that my conscience calls for nothing but damnation and my pennance wil not serue for satisfaction but yet it is certayne that thy mercy doth surpasse all sinn Doe not I beseeche thee most deer Lord marite vp my wickednes against me to the end that thou maist enter into exact account with thy seruant but blott out my iniquity according to the multitude of thy mercyes woe be vnto me miserable creature when the day of Iugdment shall come and the booke of consciences shall be opened and it shal be said to me Behold the man and his workes what shall I doe then O Lord my God when the heauens will reueale my iniquityes and when the earth will rise vp against me Beholde I shal be able to make noe answeare but my head hanging downe through confusion I shall stand trembling and all confounded before thee Vvoe is me wretched creature what shal I say I will cry out to thee O Lord my God! For why should I consume my selfe with holding my peace and yet if I speake my greife will not be appeased But yet howsoeuer if I hold my peace I am inwardly tormented with extrcame bitternes Lament O my soule as the Widowe vseth to doe ouer the husband of her youth Howle thou miserable creature and cry out because thy spouse who is Christ our Lord hath dismissed thee O thou wrathe of the Omnipotent doe no thou rush downe vpon me for I am notable to receaue thee It is not in all the power I haue to be able to endure thee Haue mercy on me least I despaire and grant that I may repose in hope and if I haue committed that for which thou maiste condemne me yet thou haste not lost that for which thou art wont to saue sinfull men Thou O Lord desirest not the death of a sinner nor dost thou reioyce in the perdition of dyinge soules nay thou dyedst thy selfe to the end that dead men might liue and thy death hath killed the death of sinners And if they liued by thy death I beseech thee O Lord that I by the meanes of thy life may not dy Send forth thy hand from on highe and take me out of the hand of mine enemyes that they may not reioyce ouer me and say We haue deuoured him Who can distrust of thy mercy O deer Iesus since thou didest redeeme vs and reconcile vs to God by thy Blood when we were thine enemies Behold how being protected vnder the shadowe of thy mercy I come runninge to thy Throne of glory askinge pardon of thee and crying out and knocKinge till thou take pitty of me For if thou haste called vs to take the benefit of thy pardon when we sought it not how much more shall we obteyne it when we seeke it Doe not O most swete Iesus remember thy Iustice against this sinner but be mindfull of thy benignity towards thy creature Be not mindfull of thy wrathe against him who is guilty but be mindfull of thy mercy towards him who is in misery Forget the proude wretch who prouoketh thee and take pitty of that miserable man who inuoketh thee For what is Iesus but a Sauiour and therefore O Iesus I beseeche thee by thy selfe rise vp to help me and say vnto my soule I am thy saluation I presume much O Lord vpon thy goodnes because thy selfe teacheth me to aske to seeke and to knocke and therefor being admonished by that voyce of thyne I doe aske seeke and knocke And thou O Lord who biddest me aske make me receaue thou whoe aduisest me to seeke grant that I may finde thou who teachest me to knocke open to me who am knockinge And eonfirme me who am weake reduce me who am lost raise me to life who am dead and vouchsafe in thy good pleasure so to gouerne my sences my thoughts words and deeds that from hence forth I may serue thee and liue to thee and deliuer my selfe wholy vp into thy hand I know O my Lord that for thy onely haueinge made me I owe thee all my selfe and in that thou wert made Man for me and didest redeeme me I should owe so much more to thee then my selfe if I had more as thou art greater then he for whome thou gauest thy selfe But behold I haue no more nor yet can I giue thee what I haue without thee but doe thou take me and drawe me to thy selfe to thy imitation and loue as already I am thyne by creation and condition thou who euer liuest and reignest CHAP. XL. A profitable Prayer O Lord God Omnipotent who art Trine and One who art allwayes in all things who wert before all things and who art euer to be in all things God to whome be praise for euer to thee doe I commend for this day and for all my life herafter my soule my body my sight my hearinge my taste my smell and my touch All my thoughts affections speaches and actions all my exteriors and interiors my sense my vnderstanding and my memory my faith my hope and my perseuerance into the hands of thy power by day and night and in all houers and momenta Hearken to me O Holy Trinity and conserue me from all euill from all scandall and from all mortall sinne from all ambushes and vexation of Deuills and from all our enemyes visible and inuisible by the Prayers of the Patriarches by the Meritts of the Prophets by the suffrages of the Apostles by the constancy of the Martyrs by the Chastity of the Virgins and by the intercession of all the Saints who haue been pleasing to thee since the beginning of the World Expell from me all boasting of minde increase compounction of hart diminish my pride and perfect thou true humility in me Stirr me vp to shed tears mollify my hard and stony hart deliuer my soule O Lord from all the trecheryes of myne enimyes and conserue me in thy will Teach me O Lord to doe thy will for thou art my God Giue me O Lord perfect seesing and vnderstanding that I may be able to comprehend thy profound benignity Giue me grace to aske that which it may delight thee to heare and may be expedient for me to obteyne Giue me tears which may rise from my whole hart wherby the chaynes of my sinns may be dissolued Hearken O my Lord and my God hearken to what I aske and vouchsafe to grant it If thou despise me I perish if thou reguard me I liue if thou looke for innocency at my hands I am dead already and I stinke if thou looke vpon me with mercy though I stinke yet thou raisest me out of the graue Put that farr from me which thou
hatest in me and ingrafte in me the spiritt of chastity continency that whatsoeuer I may chance to aske of thee yet in the very askeing of it I may not offend thee Take from me that which hurts and giue me that which helpes Giue me O Lord some Phisicke whereby my woundes may be cured O Lord giue me thy feare compunction of hart humility of minde and a pure conscience Grant O Lord that I may euer maintayne fraternal charity and that I may not forget mine owne sinne nor busy my selfe with those of other men Pardon my soule my sinns my crymes visite me who am weake cure me who am sicke strengthen me who am languishing and reuiue me who am dead Giue me a hart O Lord which may feare thee a will which may loue thee a minde which may vnderstand thee eares which may heare thee and eyes which may see thee Haue mercy on me O God haue mercy on me and looke downe on me from that holy seat of thy Maiesty and illuminate the darknes of my hart with the beame of thy splendor Giue me O Lord discretion that I may discerne betweene good and bade and grant that I may haue a vigilant minde O Lord I begg of thee the remission of all my sinns from whome and by whome propitiation may be granted me in the tyme of my necessity and of my greatest streights O holy and immacutate Virgin Mary the Mother of God the Mother of our Lord Iesus Chirste vouchsafe to interceede of me with him whose Temple thou deseruedst to be made Holy Michaell holy Gabriel holy Raphael O you holy Quires of Angells and Archangells of Patriarches and Prophetts of Apostles and Euangelists Martys and Confessors Preists and Leuitts Monckes and Virgins and of all the Saints I presume to begg of you hy him who chose you and by the contemplation of whome you are in such ioy that you will vouchsafe to make supplication to God himselfe for me that I may obteyne to be deliuered from the iawes of the Deuill and from eternall death Vouchsafe O Lord to grant me eternall life according to thy Clemency and most benigne mercy O Lord Iesus Christe grant concord to Preists and to Kings Bishopps and Princes who iudge iustly giue tranquillity and peace O Lord I beseech thee for the whole holy Catholike Church for men and woemen for Religious and secular people for all the gouernors of Christians and all such as beleeuing in thee doe labour for the holy loue of thee that they may obteyne perseuerance in theyr good workes Grant O Lord O Eternall Kinge chastity to Virgins continency to such as are dedicated to thee O Almighty God sanctimony to maried follâ—es pardon to sinners releife to orphans and widowes protection to the poore safe arriual to such as are in iourney comfort to such as mourne euerlasting rest to the faithfull soules departed a safe hauen to such as are at Sea to thy best seruants that they may continue in their vertue to them who are but indifferently good that they may growe better to them who are wicked and sinfull as to me poore wertch that they may quickly reforme themselues O most sweete and most mercyfull Lord Iesus Christe the Sonne of the liueinge God the Redeemer of the world I confesse my selfe to be a miserable sinner in all things and aboue all men but thou also O most mercifull and supreame Father who takest pitty vpon all doe not suffer me to become an alien from thy mercy O God thou King of Kinges who haste giuen me this truce of liueing till now grant me deuotion to reforme my selfe stirr vp in me a minde which may earnestly desire and seeke thee and loue thee aboue all things feare thee and doe thy will thou who art all euery where in Trinity and Vnity and that for euer Especially therefore I beseech thee O Lord O Holy Father who art glorious and blessed for euer that all they who remember me in their Prayers and who haue commended themselues to my vnworthy ones and who haue performed any office of charity or worke of mercy towards me and they also who are ioyned to me by kindred and by the naturall affection of flesh and blood and as well all they who are now aliue as those others who are departed may be mercifully and graciously gouerned by thee that they perish not Vouchsafe to giue succour to all the Christians who liue grant absolution with eternall rest to the faithfull who are dead And moreouer I doe in most particuler manner begg of thee O Lord thou who art Alpha and omega that when the last day and pointe of my life shall arriue thy selfe will vouchsafe to be my mercifull Iudge against that maligne accuser the Deuill and be thou my continuall defend or against the sleights of that ancient enemy of mine and make me continue in that holy heauen of thyne in the society of al the Angells and Saints thou who art blessed for euer and euer Amen CHAP. XLI A Prayer in memorie of the Passion of Christe our Lord. O Lord Iesus Christe my Redemption my mercy and my saluation I praise thee I giue thee thanks though they carry noe proportion to thy benefits Though they be very voide of deuotion though they be leane in respect of the fatnes of that most sweete loue of thee which I desire yet such as they are not such I confesse as I owe but such as I am able to conceaue my soule is now paying to thee O thou hope of my hart and thou vertue of my soule and the life and end of all my intentions lett thy most powerfull dignity supply that which my most fainte weaknes doth endeauour And if I haue not yet deserued so much of thee as to loue thee so much as I ought yet at least I haue an earnest desire to performe the same O thou my light thou seest my conscience because O Lord all my desires are before thee And if I endeauour to doe any thing which is good it is thou who bestowest it vpon me If that be good O Lord which thou inspirest or rather because the inclination which I haue to loue thee is good grant me that which it is thy will that I should desire and grant that I may obteyne to loue thee as much as thou requirest I giue thee praise and thankes for what I haue lest otherwise thy gnift might proue vnfruitfull to me which thou hast bestowed of thyne owne free will Perfect that which to hast begunn and giue me that through thy mercy which thou madest me desire without any merit of mine Conuert O most benigne Lord my dull heauinesse into a most feruent loue of thee To this O my most mercifull Lord my prayer my memory my meditation of thy benefitts doe all tend that thou maiste kindle thy loue in me Thy goodes O Lord created me thy mercy when I was created did cleanse me from original sinn thy patience after that
I was washed in Baptisme hath tolerated nourished and expected me when I was all wrapped vp in the filth of other sinns Thou O my good Lord didst expect my amendement and my soule expecteth the inspiration of thy holy grace that I may come to pennance and goode life O my God my Creator my expecter and my feeder I thirst after thee I sigh towards thee and vehemently desir to attaine to thee And as the poore childe beinge depriued of the presence of his most benigne father doth incessantly weepe and cry out and imbrace by his memory that fathers face with his whole hart so I not so mueh as I should but so much as I can am mindefull of thy Passion mindfull of thy stroakes mindfull of thy stirpes mindfull of thy wounds mindfull how thou wert murthred for me how thou wert embalmed how thou wert buried and mindfull also of thy glorious Resurrection and admirable Ascension These things doe I hold fast with vndoubted faith I lament the miseries of my banishment I hope for the onely consolation of thy coming and I desire the glorious contemplation of thy face Woe be vnto me in that I was not able to behold that Lord of Angells being humbled to the conuersation of men to the end that he might exalt men to the conuersation of Angells when God being offended dyed that man who offended him might liue Vvoe be vnto me that I obteyned not to be amazed in being present at that spectacle of admirable and inestimable piety Vvhy why at least O my soule doth not the sword of most sharp sorrow pearce thy hart since thou wert not able to haue endured that launce which wounded the side of thy Sauiour since thou couldest not behold those hands and feete of thy Creator to be so violated with nayles and the bloode of thy Reddeemer so hydeously to be shedd Vvhy at least art not thou inebriated with the bitternes of tears since he drunck the bitternes of gall Why art thou not in compassion of that most holy Virgin his most worthy Mother my most worthy Lady O my most mercifull Lady what fountaynes shall I say they were which brake out of thy most chaste eyes when thou didest obserue how thy onely innocent Sonne was bound and scourged and slaine in thy presence Vvhat tears shall I beleeue did bedewe and bathe thy most sweet holy Face when thou didest behold that Sonne of thyne who was also thy God thy Lord extended vpon the Crosse without any falt of his and that flesh which was of thyne owne flesh to be so wickedly torne by wretched people wiih what kinde of sobbing sighes shall I conceaue thy most pure hart to haue beene torne when thou heardest those words Woeman beholde thy Sonne and the Disciple Vvoeman beholde thy Mother when thou tookest the Disciple for the Master and the seruant for the Lord. O that I had beene the man who tooke downe my Lord from the Crosse with that happy Ioseph That I had embalmed him with odours That I had Lodged him in the sepulchre or at least that I had followed him and had obteyned so much that to so great a funerall as that some little parte of my obsequiousnesse had not beene wantinge O that with those happy woeman I had beene frighted by that bright vision of those Angells and had heard that message of the Resurrection of our Lord That message of my comfort That message so much expected and desired O that I had heard these words from the mouth of the Angell Doe not feare you seeke Iesus crucifyed but he is risen he is not here O thou most meeke most benigne most sweete and most excellent Lord when wilt thou giue me a sight of thee for yet I neuer sawe thât incorruption of thy blessed body I neuer kissed those places of thy wounds that pearcinge of the nayles I neuer bathed those ouuertures of thy true thy admirable thy inestimable and incomparable Flesh and Blood with the tears of ioy When wilt thou comfort me and when wilt thou giue me cause to conteyne this sorrow of mine For indeed this sorrow will not end in me as long as I shall be in pilgrimage frō my Lord. Vvoe be to me O Lord woe be to my soule for thou who art the comforter therof didest goe thy wayes out of this world without so much as biddeing me farewell When thou didest putt thy selfe vpon those new wayes of thyne thou gauest thy blessing to thy seruants but I was not there Thou wert carried vp to heauen in a cloude but I saw it not The Angells promised that thou wouldest returne but I heard them not Vvhat shall I say what shall I doe whither shall I goe where shall I seeke him when shall I finde him Vvhome shall I aske Vvho will declare to my beloued that I languish for loue The ioy of my hart is gone My mirth is changed into sorrow My very flesh and my hart haue fainted O thou God of my hart and my part God who art my portion for euer My soule hath refused to be comforted vnlesse it be by thee my true sweetenes For what haue I to care for in heauen but thee and what haue I desired on earth but thee It is thou whō I desire for whom I hope and whom I seeke To thee my hart doth say I will seeke thy countenance and I will seeke it yet agayne O turne thou not thy face from me O thou most benigne louer of mankinde to thee the poore creature is lefte thou art the helper of the Orphan O thou my safe Aduocate haue mercy on me who am a forsaken Orphan I am left as a pupill wihout a father my soule is as solitary as a Vvidowe Behold the tears of my desolation and widowehoode which I offer thee till such tyme as thou shalt returne Come therefore Lord come now appeare to me and I shal be comforted Afford me thy presence and I shall haue obteyned my desire Reueale thy glory and I shall be in perfect ioy My soule hath thirsted towards thee O how abundantly doth my very flesh thirst after thee My soule hath thirsted towards God who is the liueinge fountayne When shall I come and appeare before the Face of our Lord When wilt thou come O my comforter whome I will expect O that I might be sure to see that ioy which I desire O that I might be satiated when thy glory shall appeare of which I haue so great hunger O that I might be inebriated by that springinge plenty of thy house towards which I sighe O that thou wouldest giue me to drinke deepely of the torrent of thy pleasure which I thirst after O Lord let my tears in the meane whyle be my bread day and night till such tyme as it may be said to me Behold thy God till my soule may hear this word Beholde thy Spouse Feed me in the meane tyme with my sighes refresh me with my sorrowes Perhapps my Redeemer
my selfe am growen to be wholy vayne And hence also it is O Lord that I reioyce not in thee and that I adheare not to thee For I am in exteriour things thou in interiour I am in temporall things thou in spirituall my minde is scattered spilt my thought is entertayned my speach is imployed vpon transitory obiects but thou O Lord doest dwell in the eternities and art eternity it selfe Thou art in heauen I on earth thou louest high and I lowe things thou celestiall I terrestriall when shall these contrarietyes be euer able to meete CHAP. II. Of the misery and frayletie of Man WRetch that I am when shall this crookednes of mine be straightened according to that rectitude of thyne Thou O Lord louest to be alone and I to be in multituds Thou louest to be in silence and I in noyse Thou louest truth and I loue vanity Thou louest purity and I vncleanenes What should I say more O Lord thou art truely good and I naughty thou art holy and I am wicked thou art happy and I vniust thou art light it selfe and I am truely blinde thou art life it selfe and I am dead thou art Phisicke and I am sicke thou art ioy and I am sorrow thou art soueraigne Truth and I am an vniuersality of vanitie as indeede all men liueinge are Woe be therefore to me O thou Creatour of myne what shall I say Yet hearken thou O my Creatour for I am thy creature and I am euen now vpon perishing I am thy creature and am euen very now vpon dying I am the worke of thy hands and I am euen now reduced to nothing I am the thing which thou haste made Thy hands O Lord haue made me and fashioned me those hands I say which were fastened to the Crosse with nayles for me Doe not O Lord despise the worke of those hands of thine I beseech thee behold the wounds which are in thine owne hands Behold O Lord how thou haste writtē me in thyne owne hāds Reade that wrightinge of thine and saue me Behold I thy creature doe sigh towards thee thou art my Creatour and doe thou refresh me Behold I who am the worke of thy hands cry out to thee thou art life it self doe thou quicken me Behold I whom thou haste framed am lookeing towards thee thou art my maker and therefore doe thou restore me Pardon me O Lord for my dayes are nothing And yet what is any man that he should presume to speake to his Creator who is God Pardon me whilest I am speakeing to thee forgiue thy slaue who presumes to open his mouth to soe great a Lord. But necessity hath noe lawe Greife forces me to speake the calamity which I endure constraynes me to cry out I am sicke and I cry out to my Physician I am blinde and I make haste towards the light I am dead and I aspire towards life Thou O Iesus of Nazareth art the Physician thou art the Light thou art life Haue mercy on me O thou Sonne of Dauid Take pitty on me O thou fountaine of mercy Giue eare ro thy poore creature which cryes out after thee O thou light which art passing by expect this blinde man reach forth thy hand to him that he may come to thee ard may see light in thy light O thou liueing life reuiue thou this dead man But yet who am I that am speakinge to thee Woe be to me O Lord haue mercy on me O Lord on me who am a rotten carkas the food of wormes a stinkeing pott and that matter whereon fyre must feede VVoe be to me O Lord wretched man that I am Man who being borne of a woeman is to liue but a little time and is to be filled with many miseries Man I say who is growen like to vanity it selfe and being cōpared to the foolish beasts is now also become like to them But yet still what am I a darke abysse a wretched peece of earth a childe of wrath a vessell euen made fitt for reproach begotten with impurity liueing in mysery and dying in agony Alas poore wretch what am I and yet againe alas what am I to be A vessell full of dunge a hollow shell full of putrefaction full of stinkeing filth which euen breedeth horrour Blynde poore naked subiect to a world of myseries and wholly ignorant eyther how I came into the world or how I shall gett out Miserable and mortall whose dayes passe away like a shadow whose life doth vanish like awayning Moone like a flower which groweth vpon a stalke and presently decayes Now it florisheth and in the turneing of a hande it withereth This life I say this frayle life of myne this transitory life this life which how muche the more it encreaseth soe much the more it decayes how much the more it proceedes so much the nearer it drawes to death A deceiptfull life and like to a shadow and all besett with the very snares of death Now I reioyce and euen now againe I am sadd now I am strong and now againe I am weake now I liue and now I am about to dye now I laugh and now againe I weepe now I seeme happy whilest yet I am all wayes miserable And soe subiect are all things to change vpon all warninges as that there is scarce any one of them which continueth permanent for the space of an houre Here feare and apprehension and hunger and thirst and heate and cold and sickenes of body and sorrow of mynd is in all aboundance And all these are followed by vntimely death which snatcheth men out of the world by a thousand wayes It kills one man with a feauer another man is oppressed with greife of mynd hunger consumeth one thirst makes an end of another one man is drowned by water another man is strangled by a halter another is destroyed by fyre another is deuowred by wilde beasts One is killed by the sword another is corrupted by poyson and another ends his miserable life by the surprise of some strange and sodayne feare And now besides and beyond all these things a huge misery it is that as nothing is more certayn then death soe of nothing is a man more vncertayn then of the tyme when he shal dy When he thinkes he standeth fastest he is tripped vp and his hope perisheth Noe man can tel eyther when or where or how he shall dye and yet he is sure enough that dye he must Behold O Lord how great this misery of man is wherein I am placed yet I am voyd of feare How great the calamite is which I endure and yet I am farre from greife nor doe I cry out to thee But I will cry out O Lord before I passe away to the end that I may not passe away but remayne in thee I will therfore declare I will declare my misery I will not be ashamed to confesse my basenes before thee Helpe me O thou my strength whereby I am raised succour me
O thou Power whereby I am susteyned Approach to me O thou light whereby I see Appeare to me O glory wherein I ioy disclose thy selfe to me O thou life whereby I liue O thou my Lord and my God CHAP. III. Of the admirable light of God O Thou light which Tobias sawe when he taught his sonne the way of life though himselfe were blinde Thou light which Isaack sawe interiourly when he foretold future things to his sōne though his eyes of flesh and blood were full of darkenes Thou inuisible light I say to which all the abysses of humane harts are visible Thou light which Iacob sawe when thou teaching him interiourly he did exteriourly prophecie to his children Behold whilest thou art light deepe darkenes is spredd ouer the face of the abysse of my minde Behold whilest thou art truth a thicke mist is spredd ouer the wateres of my hart O thou word whereby all things are made and without which nothing is made Thou Vvord which art before all things and nothing was before it Thou VVord which guidest all things and without which all things are nothing thou Vvord which saydest in the beginning Let light be made and light was made say that also to me let light be made and let it then indeede be made And make me also knowe whatsoeuer is not light because without thy helpe I shall mistake light for darkenes and darkents for light And so without thy light there is noe truth but errour and vanity are at hand There is no order but eonfusion noe knowledge but ignorance noe sight but blindenes noe open way but wandering mazes noe life but death CHAP. IV. Of the mortality of Mans nature BEhold O Lord because there is noe light there is death or rather I cannot say that death is there because death indeede is nothing and by that we tend to be nothing whilest we are not affrayd to make our selues nothing by committing sinne And this O Lord happeneth iustly to vs. For we receiue penishement fitt for our demerits whilest we slide away like a little falling water For nothing is made without thee And by doeing and makeing that which is nothing we growe to be nothing because we are nothing without thee by whome all things are made without whome nothing is made O Lord thou who art the Word O God who art the Vvord by whome all things and without whome nothing is made Vvoe be to me miseaable creature who haue beene soe often blynded for thou art light and I haue beene voyd of thee Vvoe be to me miserable creature who haue beene soe often wounded for thou art health it selfe and I am voyd of thee Vvoe be to me miserable creature who haue soe often beene infatuated by errour for thou art Truth and I am voyd of thee Vvoe be to me miserable creature who haue soe often gone astray for thou art the way I haue wandred from thee Vvoe be to me miserable creature who haue beene so often dead for thou art life and I am without thee Vvoe be to me miserable creature who haue beene annihilated soe often for thou art that Vvord by which all things were made and I am without thee without whome nothing is made O Lord who art the word O God the Vvord who art that light whereby light is made who art the way the truth and the life in whome there is noe darkenes nor vanity nor death Light without which all is darkenes Vvay without which all is errour Truth without which all is vanity and life without which all is death O Lord doe but say this word Fiat lux let light be made that soe I may see light and auoyd darkenes that I may see the way and auoyd straying that I may see truth and auoyd vanity that I may see life and auoyd death O Lord my light doe thou illuminate me O thou my illumination and my saluation whome I will praise my God whome I will honour my Father whome I will loue and my spouse for whome I will preserue my selfe Shine forth I say shine forth thou light vpon this blinde creature of thine who is sitting in darkenes and the shadow of death and direct his feete into the way of peace Vvhereby I may enter into the place of thy admirable Tabernacle as farre as the house of God himselfe and the voyce of exultation and confession For a true Confession is the way whereby one may enter into thee who art the way whereby we may departe from all wandring and may returne againe to the same way because thou art that true way of life CHAP. V. VVhat it is to be made nothing I will therfor confesse my misery to thee I will confesse to thee O thou my Father and my Lord that maker of Heauen and Earth that soe I may be admitted to approche thy mercy For I am made wholly miserable and am reduced to nothing and I knew it not For thou art truth and I was not with thee My iniquityes haue wounded me and I was not troubled thereat For thou art life and I was not with thee They brought me to nothing because I was not with thee who art the Word whereby all things were made and without it nothing and therefore did I become nothing without thee For that is nothing which leades to nothing All things are made by him whatsoeuer are made and what kinde of things where they God sawe all those things which he made and they were very good All things which are made were made by the Word and whatsoeuer things were made by that Word are very good Why are they good in regard that all things are made by the Vvord without it nothing is made Because nothing is good withaut a participation of that souueraigne Good But sinne is there where that Good is not and for that cause it is euen nothing For euill is nothing but a priuation of good as blindenes is noe other thing but a priuation of light Sinne therefore is nothing because it is made without the Vvord without which nothing is made and that is sinne or euill which is depriued of that good whereby all things are made which haue any beeing But now those things which are not are not made by him and consequently they are nothing Therefore those things are euill which are not made because all things which are made are made by the Vvord and all things which are made by the Vvord are good Since therefore all things are made by the Vvord sinne is not made by it and therefore it remaynes that all things which are not made be not good for as much as all things which are made be good and therefore those things are euill which are not made and therefore they are nothing because nothing is made without the Vvord Sinne therefore is nothing because it is not made But then how is it euill if it be nothing Because euill is a priuation of that good whereby that which is
stone or some tree or some brute beast but because thy goodnes hath ordeyned otherwise concerning me and that thou shouldest so ordeyne was not caused by any precedent merits of myne CHAP. X Of the incomprehensible prayse of God WHence came this mercy to me O Lord and whence shall I be able to gett power wherewith I may be able to prayse thee For as thou madest me without me according to thyne owne good pleasure so art thou praysed in thy self as thou art best pleased without mee Thy prayse O Lord is thy very selfe Lett all thy workes prayse thee according to the multitude of thy greatenes Thy prayse O Lord is incomprehensible It is not comprehended by the hart nor to be measured by the mouth nor receiued by the eare For these things passe on away but thy prayse O Lord remaynes for euer The cogitation of man begins and his cogitation ends the voyce sounds and the voyce is blowen ouer the eare heares and it leaues of to heare but thy prayse endures for euer Vvho is therefore he that shall prayse thee Vvhat man shall be able to announce thy prayse Thy prayse is not transitory it is eternall He prayseth thee who beleiues thee to be thyne owne prayse He prayseth thee who knoweth that he cann neuer arriue to prayse thee enough Thy prayse is euerlasting doth neuer passe In thee is our prayse and in thee shall my soule be praysed It is not wee who prayse thee but it is thou who prayseth thy selfe and in thy selfe and by thy selfe and wee also haue our prayse in thee Then haue wee true prayse when wee haue prayse from thee when light approueth light For thou O true Prayse doest imparte true prayse but as often as we seeke prayse from any other but thee soe often doe wee loose thy prayse because that other is transitory but thyne eternall If wee seeke that prayse which is transitory wee shall loose the prayse which is eternall If wee desire that which is eternall let vs not loue that which is transitory O thou eternall Prayse O thou my Lord and my God from whome all prayse proceedeth and without whom there is no prayse I am not able to prayse thee without thee but let me possesse thee and I shall prayse thee For who O Lord am I that of my selfe I should be able to prayse thee dust and ashes I am a dead and stinkeing dog I am I am a very worme and putrefactiō it selfe Vvho am I that I should prayse thee O thou most Mighty Lord and thou God of the spirits of all flesh who inhabitest Eternity Shall darkenes be able to praise light or death life Thou art light and I am darkenes thou art life and I am death Shall vanity be able to prayse truth Thou art truth but I am a man as vane as vanity it selfe How then O Lord shall I be able to praise thee Shall my misery be able to prayse thee Shall stinkes be able to prayse pretious odours Shall the mortality of a man who is here to day and will be gone to morrowe be able to prayse thee Shall man who is rottennes it selfe be able to prayse thee and the sonne of man who is noe better then a base worme Shall he be able to prayse thee O Lord who is conceyued and borne and bredd vp in sinne verily thy prayses cannot be gratefull in the mouth of a sinner O Lord my God let thy incomprehensible power thy wisdome which cannot be circumscribed and thy goodnes which cannot be declared prayse thee Let thy supereminent clemency thy superabondant mercy thy sempiternall vertue and diuinity praise thee Let thy most Omnipotent fortitude thy supreme benignity and charity whereby thou didest create vs O Lord thou God of my soule prayse thee CHAP. IX Of the hope which is to be erected towards God BVt I who am thy creature reposing vnder the shadow of thy Vvings will hope in thy goodnes whereby thou didest create me Assiste thy creature who was created by thy benignity let not that perish through my malice which hath bene wrought by thy goodnes Let not that perish by my misery which hath bene framed by thy mercy For what doth it profit thee to haue created me if I shall descend to hell through myne owne corruption For hast thou ô Lord in vaine made all the sonnes of men Thou hast created mee O Lord and therefore gouerne that which thou hast created Doe not O Lord despise the the worke of thine owne hands Thou madest mee of nothing and if thou doe not gouerne me O Lord I shall againe retourne into my nothing For as once I was not O Lord then thou madest me of nothing soe if thou doe not gouerne me yet once againe I shall of my selfe be reduced to nothing Helpe me O Lord my life and let me not perish in my wickednes If thou haddest not created mee O Lord I had not beene and because thou didest create me Behold I am But if now thou doe not gouerne me behold I am noe more For neither my merits nor any priuiledge of myne compelled thee to create me but thyne owne most benigne bounty clemency Let that charity of thyne O Lord my God which compelled thee to create me I beseech thee oblige thee to gouerne mee For what doth it profit me that thy charity constrayned thee to create me if now I perish in my misery and if thy right hand doe not perfect me Let that mercy compell thee O Lord my God to saue that which thou hast created which compelled thee to create that which thou haddest not created Let charity ouercome thee to make thee saue which ouercame thee to make thee create because now that charity is not lesse then it was For that very charity is thy very selfe who art the same for euer Thy hand O Lord is not so abbreuiated as that it cannot saue vs nor is thine eare out of tune that it cannot heare vs but my sinnes haue made a diuision betwixt thee and me betweene light and darkenes betweene the image of death and life betweene vanity and verity betweene this lunatike inconstant life of myne thyne which is capable of noe change or end· CHAP. XII Of the snares of Concupiscence THese are those shadowes of darkenes wherewith I am couered in the Abysse of this darke prison where I lye prostrate till such tyme as the day may dawne and the black shadowes be remoued and the light may be made in the firmament of thy power Let the voyce of our Lord in power The voyce of our Lord in magnificence say thus Let light be made and let darkenes be driuen away let the earth appeare dry sprout forth fresh and greene plants which may bring forth seede and the good fruite of the Iustice of thy Kingdome O Lord our Father and our God thou light whereby all things liue and without which all things are accounted for dead doe not
one of them according to theyr workes whether they be good or bad Teach me how I may confesse my pouerty to thee For once I said that I was rich and that I wanted nothing I did not know the while that indeede I was poore and naked and a miserable wretch I beleiued that I was some-what when yet indeede I was nothing I told my selfe that I would become wise and I turned a starke foole I thought my self to be prudent but I was deceiued And now I see that all is thy guift without whom wee can doe nothing For vnles thou O Lord keepe the Citty he watcheth but in vaine who pretends to keepe it Thou hast taught me thus to knowe thee whilest thou diddest leaue mee for a while and proue mee not that thou mightest knowe mee thereby but for my sake that so I might come to knowe my selfe For as I was saying ô Lord I thought once that I was some-what of my self I conceiued that I was sufficient by my self nor did I discerne that thou wert he that gouerned mee till thou diddest a little withdrawe thy selfe from me And then presently I fell and soe I sawe and knew that thou didest gouerne mee and that it was of my self that I fell and that it was of thee that I rose againe Thou O Light diddest open myne eyes and diddest rowse mee vp and illuminate mee and I sawe that the life of man vpon earth is all temptation and that noe flesh must presume to glory before thee for soe noe man liueing can be iustifyed For if there be any good in him whether it be great or little thy guift it is and nothing is ours but that which is naught Of what therfore shall any flesh be able to vant Shall he glory in sinne This is not glory but misery May he glory in that which is good Noe For he may not glory in that which belongeth to another Thine O Lord is the Good annd thyne must be the Glory For hee who seeketh glory to himselfe and not to thee out of the good he doth that man is noe better then a theefe and robber who had a minde to bereaue thee of thy glory For he who will be praysed for any guift of thyne and seeketh not thy glory but his owne therein although he be praysed by men for that guift of thyne yet he is dispraysed by thee in regard that he sought not soe much thy glory by it as his owne And now he who is praysed by men whilest thou dispraysest him shall not be defended by men when thou iudgest him nor deliuered by them when thou condemnest him But thou O Lord who diddest frame me in my mothers wombe do not suffer me to fall vnder so greate a reproofe as that I should be charged with procureing to robb thee of thy glory To thee be glory of whome all good things are and to vs confusion of face and misery vnles thou vouchsafe to haue mercy on vs. But thou hast mercy O Lord thou hast mercy vpon vs all who hatest none of those things which thou hast made and who bestowest of thy good guifts vpon vs dost enrich vs O Lord our God with thy most excellent graces For thou louest poore creatures and thou enrichest them with thy aboundance And now behould O Lord we are thy poore children and thy little little flocke open thy gates to vs and thy poore shall eate and be satisfyed they who seeke thee and prayse thee I doe also knowe O Lord and I confesse for I am taught to doe it by thee that they onely who knowe they are poore and confesse theyr pouertie to thee shall be enriched by thee and they who conceiue themselues to be rich whereas indeede they are poore will be found excluded from thy riches For my parte therefore I confess my pouerty to thee O Lord my God and let all glory remayne to thee For all that which hath bene well done by mee is thyne O Lord I confesse to thee as thou hast taught me that I am nothing but an vniuersality of vanity a shadow of death and a blacke kinde of Abysse and a plott of earth which is all empty and vnfruitefull and which shootes not vp one leafe without thy blessing and of it selfe it yeilds no other fruite then confusion sinne and death If euer I had any good thinge I receiued it of thee Whatsoeuer good I haue now is thine and of thee I haue it If euer I stood fast I stood by thee but whensoeuer I fell of my selfe I fell and for euer had I weltered in that myre if thou haddest not raised mee And for euer had I continued blinde vnles thou haddest illuminated mee When I fell I had neuer risen vnles thou haddest reached forth thine hand And when afterward thou diddest raise mee I had instantly retournend to fall vnles thou haddest susteyned mee and I had perished very often vnles thou haddest gouerned mee So perpetually O Lord soe perpetually was I preuented by thy mercy and grace deliuering me from all my sinnes saueing me from all such as are past solliciteing me against such as were present and fortifying me against such as might be future Cutting of before my face those snares of sinnes by preuenting the occasions and causes thereof For vnles thou haddest also done this fauour to me I might haue committed any sinne in the whole world And I know O Lord that there is noe kinde of sinne which any one man did euer committ which another man may not also committ if the helpe of the Creatour whereby man is made be wanting But thou art the cause why I committed them not Thou diddest commaund that I should abstayne from them thou didest infuse thy grace that I might beleiue in thee For thou O Lord diddest gouerne mee for thy selfe and thou diddest keepe me both for thy selfe and for my selfe and thou diddest giue me light grace to the end that I might not commit adultery and euery other sinne CHAP. XVI Of the manifold temptations of the deuill THe Tempter was absent and thou wert the cause that he was absēt Fitt time and place for sinne were wanting and thou wert the cause that they were wanting The Tempter was present and nether time nor place were wanting but thou diddest keepe me from consenting The Tempter came to mee all vgly and frightfull as he is and thou diddest comfort mee soe farre as to make me despise him The Tempter came to mee all strong and armed and to the end that he might not conquer mee thou restraynedst him didest strengthen me The Tempter came transfigured into an Angell of light and to the end that he might not deceiue mee thou rebukedest him and thou diddest illuminate mee that I might knowe him For he is that great and redd dragon that ancient serpent and he is called the Deuill and Satā haueing seauen heads and tenn hornes Whose imployment is to inueigle this greate huge Sea wherein
the power of a man to will that which he hath power to doe or to doe that which he cann will or to knowe what he cann will and doe but rather the paces of men are directed by thee the paces of them I meane who confesse themselues to be directed by thee and not by themselues Wee beseech thee therefore O Lord by the bowells of thy mercy be pleased to saue that which thou hast created For if thou wilt thou canst saue vs and the strength of our saluation consisteth in the pleasure of thy will CHAP. XXVI Of the auncient benefits of Almighty God CAll to mynde thy auncient mercy whereby thou diddest preuent vs from the beginning in those benedictions of thy sweetenes For before I was borne I who am the sonne of thy handmayde O Lord who hast bene my hope euen from the brests of my mother thou diddest preuent mee by preparing those wayes for mee wherein I might walke and whereby I was to arriue to the glory of thy house Before thou framedst mee in my mothers wombe thou knewest mee and before I parted from her wombe thou diddest praeordayne concerning mee whatsoeuer was pleasing to thy selfe What things are contayned and written in thy booke concerning mee in that secret of thy Consistory I for my parte doe not knowe and there vpon I am in extreme feare but it is well knowen to thee For that which I might expect to happen in successe of dayes and tymes betweene this and a thousand yeares hence all that is already done in the sight of thy eternity and that which is future is finished already there Now therefore whilest I liue in this darke night and whilest I am ignorant of these things feare and trembling come vpon mee since I see on all sides that many dangers doe sett vpon mee close at hand and that I am hunted by many enemyes and hemmed in by innumerable miseryes in this life And vnles I had thy helpe in the middest of so great calamityes I should despaire But still I haue a strong hope in thee O thou most meeke Prince and my God And the consideration of the multitude of those mercy which thou hast shewed to mee doth ease my minde the fore-running signes of thy mercyes which preuented mee before I was borne and doe now shine particularly towards mee doe sollicite me to haue good hope concerning those future better more perfect guifts of thy benignity which thou reseruest for thy freinds That soe I may reioyce O Lord my God with that liuely and holy ioy whereby thou dost euer recreate my youth CHAP. XXVII Of the Angels which are deputed to the custody of man FOr thou hast loued me O thou onely Loue of myne before I loued thee and thou hast created mee after thine owne Image and thou hast preferred me before all thy creatures Which dignity I keepe now also hauing knowen thee for whome thou hast made mee Thou hast also made thy Spirits Angels for my benefitt and thou hast commaunded them to keepe me in all my wayes lest els perhaps I might hurte my foote against a stone For these are the Guard which stands vpon the walls of the Citty of thy new Ierusalem and these are those Mountaynes which are sayd to stand in the circuit thereof keeping watch by night ouer thy flocke least at any time the Lyon should snatch away our soules whilest none were by to deliuer them that auncient serpent I say our aduersary the deuill who is euer walkeing the round seekeing whom he may deuowre These are those happy Citizens of Ierusalem that supernall Citty that mother of ours which is aboue and they are sent in ministery to them who are to take hold of the inheritance of saluation that they may deliuer them from theyr enemyes and guard them in all theyr wayes that they may comfort and admonish thy children and offer vp theyr prayers in the sight of the glory of thy Maiestie For they loue theyr fellow-Cittizens by whose society they expect that the ruine of the Schisme which was made by the rebellious Angells may be repayred They doe therefore assist vs with greate care and watchfull endeauour at all tymes and in all places succouring vs and making prouision against our necessityes and passeing with great sollicitude betweene vs and thee O Lord presenting our sighes and sobs to thee that they may obtayne for vs an easy pardon from thy mercy and may bring downe from thee the desired benediction of thy grace For they walke with vs in all our wayes they goe in and out with vs considering with greate attention how vertuously and piously wee conuerse in the middest of a wicked nation with great endeauour and desire we seeke the Kingdome of God and the iustice thereof with how greate feare and trembling wee serue thee and how also wee exult towards thee in the ioy of our harts They helpe such as are takeing paynes they protect such as are at rest they encourage such as fight they crowne such as conquer they reioyce with such as ioy I meane such as ioy in thee and they suffer with such as suffer I meane such as are in sufferance for thee They haue a mighty care of vs. Great is the ardour of theyr affection towards vs and all this for the honour they beare to that inestimable charity where-with thou louest vs For they loue them whom thou louest they keepe them whom thou keepest and they forsake them whom thou forsakest Nor doe they loue the workers of wickednes because thou hatest all the workers of iniquity and destroys all them who speake lyes As often as wee doe well the Angels ioy and the Deuills grieue But as often as wee swarue from vertue wee make the Deuill glad and wee depriue the Angels of theyr ioy For they haue ioy by one sinner doeing pennance but the Deuill hath ioy when pennance is giuen ouer by a good man Graunt them therefore O Father graunt that they may euer reioyce concerning vs and that thou mayest euer be praysed by them in vs and that both they and wee may be brought into one the same sheepfoulde that together wee may confesse to thy Holy Name O thou Creatour both of men and Angels Whilest I am calling these things to minde before thee I confesse to thee with prayse that these are greate benefits whereby thou hast honoured vs whilest thou giuest thy Spirits for Angels to assist vs. Thou haddest already bestowed whatsoeuer was contayned vnder the vaut of heauen yea and thou reputest that as but little which is contayned vnder heauen vnles thou mayest also add those things which are aboue the heauens Lett all thy Angels prayse thee also for this O Lord Let all thy workes also confesse to thee and let all thy Saints themselues blesse thee for it O thou our Supreame honour thou hast too highly honored vs and thou hast beautifyed and enriched vs with many guifts Thy Name O Lord is admireable ouer
and where that fountayne of life is and that inaccessible light and that peace of God which passeth all vnderstanding There doe wee adore and belieue thee O Iesus Christ to be true God and man confessing that thou hast God for thy Father and that from heauen wee expect thee to come as Iudge in the end of the world to iudge the quicke and the dead that thou mayest render eyther reward or punishment to all men eyther good or badd according to those workes which they shall haue wrought in this life that soe they may be eyther in rest or eternall misery For all those creatures who haue receiued a humane soule into that flesh which here they haue carryed about them shall rise at that day in the voyce of thy strength to the end that the whole man may receyue eyther glory or torments according to his merits Thou art that life and resurrection it selfe whom wee expect to be our Sauiour Iesus Christ our Lord who will reforme this poore meane body of ours by conformeing it to the body of his clarity I haue knowen thee also to be true God O thou one holy Spirit of the Father and the Sonne proceding iointly from them both to be consubstantiall and eternall with the Father and the Sonne to be our Paraclete and Aduocate who diddest also descend in the shape of a doue vpon the same God Iesus Christ our Lord and diddest appeare vpon the Apostles in tongues of fyre who also from the beginning hast taught all the elect Saints of God by the gifte of thy grace and hast opened the mouth of the Prophets that they might relate wounderful things of the Kingdome of God who together with the Father the Sonne art adored and glorifyed by all the Saints of God Amongst whome I also who am the sonne of thy handmayd doe glorify thy name with my whole harte because thou hast illuminated mee For thou art that reall light that light which tells vs truth the fyre of God the Doctour of soules the very Spirit of Truth which teacheth vs all truth by thy vnction without which it is impossible for vs to please God For thou thy self art God of God and light of light proceeding from the Father of lights and from his Sonne our Lord Iesus Christ after an ineffable manner with whome thou being coequall and coeternall art glorifyed and dost raigne ioyntly with them superessentially in the essence of the same Trinity I haue knowen thee my one liueing and true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost three in persons but one in essence whome I confesse adore and glorify with my whole harte as my onely true Holy immortall inuisible vnchaungeable and vnscrutable God that one Light one Sunne one bread one Life one Good one Beginning one End one Creatour of heauen and earth by whome all things liue by whome all things subsist by whome all things are gouuerned ordered and quickened which are in heauē on the earth and vnder the earth and besides whome there is noe God either in heauen or in earth I haue knowen thee by thy faith wherewith thou hast inspired mee O thou my light and the sight of myne eyes O Lord my God the hope of all the ends of the earth the Ioy which doth recreat my youth and the good which strēgtheneth my age For in thee O Lord do all my bones excessiuely reioyce and say O Lord who is like to thee Who amongst the Gods is like thee O Lord. Not they who are made by the hands of men but thou by whome the hands of men are made The Idolls of the Gentiles are gold and siluer the worke of mens hands But soe is not the maker of men All the Gods of the nations are Deuills but our Lord made the heauens and this Lord is God As for those Gods who made not heauen and earth let them perish both from heauen and earth But let heauen and earth blesse that God who made heauen and earth CHAP. XXXIII Of the Confession of our owne basenes WHo O Lord is like thee among the Gods Who is like thee O thou who art magnificent in thy sanctity who art terrible laudable and doeing wonderfull things Too late I come to knowe thee O thou true light too late am I come to knowe thee But there was a greate and darke cloude before these vayne eyes of myne soe that I could not see the sunne of Iustice and the light of truth I was wrapped vp in darkenes my selfe being the childe of darkenes and this darkenes of myne I loued because I did not knowe the light I was blinde and I loued blindenes and by darkenes I walked on to further darkenes Who brought me out from thence where I blinde creature was sitting in darkenes and in the shadow of death who tooke mee by the hand and led me out VVho was he that did illuminate mee I sought not him but he sought me I called not vpon him and he cryed out vpon mee But who is he that did all this It is thou O Lord my God the Father of mercyes and the God of all consolations it is thou O holy Lord and my God whome I confesse with my whole harte giueinge thankes to thy Name I sought not thee but I was sought by thee I inuoked not thee and thou calledest mee Thou calledst mee by thine owne Name thou diddest thunder thus downe into the inward eare of my harte with this mighty voyce Let Light be made and light was made and that greate cloud flew away that darke thicke cloud was dissolued which had closed vp myne eyes And I sawe thy light and I knew thy voyce and I sayd O Lord that thou indeed art my God Who hast drawen mee out of darkenes and out of the shadow of death and thou hast called me into thy admireable light and behold I see Thankes be giuē to thee O thou who art the Illuminator of my soule And I looked backe and sawe the darkenes wherein I had bene and that profound blacke pitt wherein I had lyen and I did all quake and shiuer and I said Woe woe be to that darkenes wherein I lay Woe woe be to that blindenes wherin I was not able to see the light of heauen VVoe woe to that former ignorance of myne when I had noe knowldege of thee O Lord. But I giue thee thanks O thou my illuminator and deliuerer because thou hast illuminated mee and I haue knowen thee Yet still I am come too late to knowe thee O thou antient Truth too late I am come to knowe thee O thou eternall Truth Thou wert in the light and I in darkenes and I knew thee not because I could not be illuminated without thee nor indeede without thee is there any light at all CHAP. XXXIV A consideration of the diuine Maiestie O Thou holy of holyes thou God of inestimable Maiestie the God of God and the Lord of Lords who art admirable inexplicable
the one and indiuiduall essence of the supreme Trinity For to see the face of the liueing God is to possesse the soueraigne good It is the ioy of the Angells and of all the Saints the reward of eternall life the glory of spirites the eternall Ioy the crowne of beauty the prize of felicity the rich repose the beauty of peace the internall and externall Ioy the celestiall Ierusalem the Paradise of God the happy life the fullnes of felicity the delight of eternity the peace of God which passeth all vnderstanding This is that full beatitude and that totall glorification of man to see the face of his God to see him who made heauen and earth to see God who made him who saued him and who glorifyed him He shall see him by knoweing him he shall apply himselfe to him by loueing hym and he shall praise him by possessing him For he is the inheritance of his people of the people of Saints of the people which he redeemed He is the possession of they re felicity he is the reward recompence of they re expectation I will sayth he be a great and excessiue reward to thee For great things become great persons Indeed O Lord my God thou art excessiuely great beyond all Gods and thy reward is excessiuely greate For it cannot be true that thy self should be great and thy reward litle but as thou art great so thy reward is great for thy reward and thy self are not two seuerall things But thou thy self artexcessiuely great and thou thy self art that reward which is soe excessiuely great Thou thy self art he who crowneth vs who art the crowne thou thy self art he who maketh the promise and who art that very promise it selfe Thou art he who bestowest the guift and who art the guift it self Thou thy self art the rewarder and thou art the reward of eternall felicity Thou art therefore he who crowneth and thou O my God art the crowne and diademe of my hope which is ad orned with glory Thou art that recreatiue brightnes that reuiuing light that gracefull beauty thou art my great hope the desire of the harte of thy Saints and desired by them Thy vision therefore is the totall pay the totall reward the totall Ioy which wee expect For this is eternall life this I say is thy wisedome This is eternall life that wee may knowe thee onely true God and Iesus Christ whome thou hast sent VVhen therefore wee shall see thee the only God the true God the God liuing Omnipotent simple inuisible incomprehensible not to be circumcribed and thy onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our Lord who is consubstantiall and coeternall with thee whome thou hast sent into the world for our saluation in the vertue and power of the Holy Ghost they being Trine in persons and one in essence one onely Holy God besides whome there is noe God Then wee shall enioy what now wee seeke which is eternall life and euerlasting glory which thou preparest for them who loue thee and hidest vp for them who feare thee and wilt impart to them who seeke thee them who seeke thy face for euer And thou O Lord my God who framedst mee in the wombe of my mother who recommended mee ouer to thy hand do not permit mee any longer to be distracted into many thinges from thee who art one But gather mee vp from exteriour obiects into my self and then take mee from my self into thee that my hart may be euer saying to thee my face hath sougt thee O Lord I will seeke thy face The face of our Lord power wherein alone of the totall eternall glory of blessed soules doth consist the vision whereof is the eternall life euerlasting glory of the SS t s Let therefore my hart reioyce that it may feare thy name let the hart of such as doe but euen seeke our Lord reioyce but much more let them reioyce who finde him For if Ioy be taken in the search of him what ioy will that be which is felt in findeing him Therfore I will be euer seeking thy face ardently and without giueing ouer to see if once at length that doore and gate of Iustice may perhaps bee opened vnto mee that I may enter into the Ioy of my Lord. This is the gate of our Lord and the Iust shall enter into it CHAP. XXXVII A prayer to the blessed Trinity O You three coequall and coeternall persons who are one true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost thou who alone dwellest in eternity and inaccessible light Who hast layd the foundations of the earth with thy power and who gouernest the world with thy wisedome Holy Holy Holy Lord God of Sabaoth terrible and powerfull Iust and mercifull admireable laudable and amiable One God three persons one essence power wisedome one onely vndeuided Trinity Open thou the gates of Iustice to mee who am crying out after them and being once entered by them I will confesse to thee O Lord. Behold I who am a poore begger doe knocke at thy doore O thou who art the soueraigne Master of the house command that it may be opened to me thou who say dest knocke and it shall be opened to you For the desires of my bowells which do euen roare againe and the cryes of the teares of myne eyes are they who knocke at thy gate O most mercifull Father Before thee is my whole desire and my groanes are not hidden from thee And thou O Lord turne thy face noe longer away from mee and decline not in thy wrath from thy seruaunt O thou Father of mercyes hearken to the loud crye of thy poore childe and reach forth thy best helping hand that it may drawe me out of the profound pitts of water and out of the lake of misery and out of the durt and dregs that I may not perish whilest the mercy of thyne eyes is beholding mee and the charity of thy bowells is lookeing on But enable mee to escape to thee who art my Lord and my God that I may see the riches of thy kingdome and may behold thy face for euer and may sing prayse to thy holy name O Lord thou who workest wonderfull things thou who makest my hart ioyfull by the memory of thee and who illuminatest my youth doe not despise my old age but fill my bones full of ioy and renew my grey heires as that of an eagle is renued All glory all prayse all strength all power all magnificence all beatitude all mercy be ascribed to God the Father and the Sonne and the Holy Ghost Amen The end of the Soliloquia Deo gratias THE MANVALL OF S. AVGVSTINE THE FIRST CHAPTER Of the wonderfull essence of God THov O Lord dost fill heauen earth carrying all things and yet they are no burthen to thee Thou fillest all thinges without being shut vp by them Thou art euer working yet euer quiet gathering togeather yet thou needest nothing seeking yet wanting nothing louing yet
affections of the mind to the dominion therof Loue alone is sufficient is pleasing of it selfe and for it selfe Loue is the merit it is the reward it is the cause it is the fruit it is also the vse of the fruit for by loue we are conioyned to God Loue maketh that two spirits grow to be one Loue maketh that the same thinges be willed and not willed by them Loue maketh vs first to order and compose our liues afterward it enableth vs to consider of all thinges which are present as if they where absent and in the third place it enableth vs to behold internall and supernall thinges with a cleane and pure eye of the hart By loue we are first taught how to vse those contentements well which may be taken in the world afterward those worldly contentements grow to be despised and at the last euen the secretes of God come to be disclosed CHAP. XIX What it is which God requireth of vs that so we may be like him selfe GOD the Father is loue God the Sonne is loue God the holy Ghost is the loue of the Father and the Sonne This charity this loue doth require somewhat of vs which is like that that is to say it requireth charity whereby as by a kind of coniunctiō in bloud we may be associated and ioyned to him Loue forgets that supreme dignity it considers not the reuerence which it is bound to beare He that loues doth of himselfe draw confidently neere to God and expresseth himselfe in a familiar manner without perturbation or feare He looseth his labour and liues in vane who loues not But he that loueth doth still carry his eyes erected towardes God whome he loueth whom he desireth vpon whom he meditateth in whome he delighteth by whome he is fedd and euen made fat Such a louing and deuout person doth so sing and so he reades and in all his actions he is so ful of circumspection and care as if God were euer present before his eyes and so indeed he is He doth so pray as if he were taken and presented before the face of that Maiesty in his soueraigne Thron Where thousands of thousands are seruing him and a million of thousands are present with him When loue visiteth a soule it awaketh her if she be asleep it counselleth softneth and doth wound the hart It illuminateth those thinges which are darke it vnlocketh those thinges which are shut vp it inflameth those things which are cold it mitigateth a harsh vntoward impatient minde it puts sinne to flight it represseth all carnall affection it amendeth manners it reformeth and reneweth the spirit and it bridleth the light acts and euill motions of slippery youth All these thinges are done by loue when it is present but vpon the departure thereof the soule begins already to be faint weake as if the fire were withdrawne from vnderneath a pot which had beene seething CHAP. XX. Of the confidence of a soule which loueth God A Great thing is loue wherby the soule of her selfe doth confidently approach to God doth constantly inheare to God doth familiarly aske questions of God and consulteth with him vpon all occasions The soule which loueth God can neither thinke or speake any other thing she contemneth all thinges else she loatheth all Whatsoeuer she considereth whatsoeuer she saith it smells of loue it sauours of loue so truly doth the loue of God make her all his owne Whoso euer desires to haue the knowledge of God let him loue In vaine doth any man giue himselfe to reading to meditating to preaching to praying if he do not loue The loue of God begetteth loue in a soule makes her bend her selfe towards him God loueth to the end that he may be loued againe When he loueth he desireth no other thing but to be beloued as knowing that they who loue him are to be made happy by that loue The soule which loues doth renounce al her owne particular affections and doth wholy apply her self to loue that so she may be able to pay loue with loue And yet when she shall haue spent whatsoeuer she either hath or is vpon the loue of that torrent which flowes out from that ouer tunning fontaine of loue we must take heed of thinking that there is any equality of springing plenty afforded betweene that loue and this loue betweene God and the soule betweene the creatour and the creature And yet on the other side if the soule do loue as much as it can there can be nothing said to be wanting where al is giuen Let not that soule feare which loues but let that other tremble which loueth not The soule which loues is caried on by praiers she is drawn by her desirs she dissembleth her merits she shuts her eyes against his Maiesty she opens them to delight in his beauty she lodgeth her self in him who is her sauing health and she treateth with him after a confident manner By loue the soule doth step aside and doth grow into excesse beyond the senses of the body so that she which feeleth God doth no longer feele her selfe This is done when the soule being allured by the vnspeakeable sweetnes of God doth steale her selfe as it were from her selfe or rather when she is forcibly carried and so doth slip from her selfe that she may inioy God with supreme delight Nothing were so highly sweet if withal it were not extremely shorte Loue giueth familiarity with God familiarity giues a daring to aoproach that daring giueth gust that gust giueth hunger The soule which is touched with the loue of God can think of nothing els can desire nothing els but doth often sigh and say As the Hart desireth the fountains of water so doth my soule desire thee O my God CHAP. XXI What God did for man GOD for the loue of men came downe to men he came into men and he was made man The inuisible God was drawne by loue to become like his slaues Through loue he was wounded for our sinnes Weake and wicked men may finde a safe strong retreate in the woūds of our Sauiour There do I securely dwelle for I see his very bowells through his wounds VVhatsoeuer is wanting to me I fetch from those wounds of my Lord which flow with mercy nor want they holes through which it may be able to flow By those holes which were made in his body we may discerne the very secrets of his hart we may discerne a great mystery of goodnes we may discerne the bowells of the mercy of our God where with that Orient from on high hath visited us The wounds of Iesus Christ are full of mercy full of pitty full of suauity and full of charity Men digged through his handes and feet they transpierced his side with a launce By these ouertures I haue meanes to tast how sweet my Lord God is for indeed he is meeke and sweet of aboundant mercy to all such as call vpon him in
truth to all such as seeke him but especially to them that loue him A copious redēption is giuen to vs in the wounds of Iesus Christ our Sauiour A great multitude of sweetnes a fullnes of grace the perfection of vertues CHAP. XXII Of the remembrance of the woundes of Iesus Christ our Lord. WHEN I am sollicited by any impure thought I make my recourse vnto the woundes of Christ when my body oppresseth me I recouer strength by calling the wounds of my Lord to mind whē the Diuell is laying some ambush whereby to take me I flye vnto the boweles of my Lords mercy and so the Diuell departeth from me If the ardour of lust make any alteration in my body it is quenched by the memory of the wounds of our Lord the Sonne of God In all the aduersityes which I haue beene subiect to I neuer found so effectuall à remedy as in the wounds of Christ In them do I sleep secure in them do I repose voyd of feare Christ dyed for vs there is nothing so deadly bitter which may not be cured by the death of Christ All the hope I haue is in the death of my Lord. His death is my merit my refuge my sauing health my life and my resurrection My merit is his great mercy I shal neuer be voyd of merit as long as he who is the Lord of mercy shall not be wanting to me And since my merits goe after the rates of his mercyes looke how much more mighty he is towardes the sauing of me so much the more may I be secure CHAP. XXIII The remembrance of the woundes of Christ our Lord is our remedy in all aduersity I Haue committed a grieuous sinne nay I am guilty of many sinnes neither yet wil I despaire because where sinnes haue abounded there hath beene superaboundance of grace He who despaireth of the pardon of his sinnes denieth God to be mercifull He much wrongs God who distrustes in his mercy Such a one doth his best to deny that God hath Charity Verity and Piety wherin all my hope consisteth Namely in the Charity of his adoption in the Verity of his promise in the Piety of his redemption Let therfore my foolish thought be murmuring as much as it will whilest it is saying What a poore thing art thou and what a great glory is that and by what merits dost thou hope to obtaine it For I will confidently answere I know well who it is whome I haue trusted And because he hath adopted me for his sonne with excesse of Charity because he is true in his promises and powerfull in his performances because he may doe what he will I cannot be frighted by the multitude of my sinnes if withall I be able to call the death of my Lord to mind for those sinnes of mine cannot conquerre him Those nayles that launce doe cry out to tell me that in deed I am reconcyled to Christ if I resolue to loue him Longinus opened the side of Christ with his launce there doe I enter in and there I do safely rest He that feares let him loue for charity will put feare away There is not so potent and effectuall a remedy against the ardour of lust as the death of my redeemer He stretcheth forth his armes abroad vpon the Crosse he spreads his handes which are ready to imbrace vs sinners Between those armes of my Sauiour I resolue to liue I desire to dye There will I securely sing I will exalt thee O Lord because thou hast taken me vp hast not giuen myne enemyes their pleasure ouer me Our Sauiour bowed downe his head at his death that he might kisse his beloued so often do we giue à kisse to God as we haue compunction of our sinnes for the loue of him CHAP. XXIIII An exhortation of the soule to the loue of Christ our Lord. O Thou my soule which art dignified with the image of God redeemed by the bloud of Christ espowsed by faith endoweth with a spirit adorned with vertues rancked with Angells be sure thou loue him by whome thou art so much beloued Make him thy busines who hath made thee his Seeke him who seeketh thee loue thy louer by whome thou art beloued by whose loue thou art preuented and who is the cause of thyne He is thy merit thy reward thy fruit thy vse thy end Be thou carefull together with him who is so carefull of thee be attentiue to him who is attentiue to thee be pure with him who is pure be holy with him who is holy Such as thou dost appeare in the sight of God such art thou to expect that he will appeare to thee God who is so sweete so meeke and so full of mercy doth require that thou shouldst be sweet and meeke and gentle humble and full of mercy Loue him who hath drawne thee out of the lake of misery and the filth of durt Choose him for thy friend aboue all thy friends who when all they shall fayle thee will be euer sure to make good thy trust at the day of thy death When all thy friends are departing from thee he will not leaue thee but he will defend thee against those roaring lyons who are sharpe set vpon theyr prey And he will leade thee by a Country wherewith thou art not yet acquainted and he will bring thee to those streets of the celestiall Sion there he will place thee together with his Angels before the face of his owne Maiesty where thou shalt heere that Angellicall Musicke of Holy Holy Holy Lord God of Sabaoth There is the Canticle of ioy the voyce of exultation and saluatiō and thanksgiuing the voyce of prayse and that euerlasting Alleluya There is that high heape of happynes that supereminēt glory that superaboundant gladnes all good thinges put togeather O sigh thou ardently O my soule desire vehemently that thou mayst arriue at that heauenly citty whereof so glorious thinges are sayd where of all the inhabitants are so full of ioy By loue thou mayst ascend Nothing is impossible nothing is hard to one who loues The soule which loues ascendeth often and doth familiarity runne too fro through those streets of the Celestiall Hierusalem Sometimes visiting the Patriarkes the Prophets sometymes admiring those armyes of Martyrs and Confessors contemplating somtymes the Quires of Virgins The heauen and the earth withall which is therein doe neuer cease to let me know that I ought to loue my Lord my God CHAP. XXV That nothing can suffice the soule but the supreme Good THe hart of man which is not fixed in the desire of eternity can neuer be stable and firme but is more wauering then the wind and it passeth from one thing to another seeking reste where it cannot be foūd For in these fraile transitory thinges where the affection thereof is imprisoned it can neuer finde true repose Because our soule is of so great dignity that no
light is glorifyed by the Saints wher the Maiesty of God is beheld present and the mind of the beholders is satiated by this food of life without all defect They euer see and yet they euer desire to see but they desire without anxiety and they are not glutted by their satiety Where the true Sonne of Iustice doth recreate them all by the admirable sight of his beauty and so doth illuminate all the inhabitants of that heauenly Countrey Where the light of them who are illuminated by that other superiour illuminating light doth shine farre beyond the splendor of our Sun and beyond the clarity of al the Startes adhering to that immortall Deity them selues being made thereby incorruptible and immortal according to this promise of our Lord and Sauiour Father they whome thou gauest me I will that where I am they may be also there that they may see my brightnes and that they all may be one as thou O Father art in me I in thee so they also may be one in vs. CHAP. VIII Of the kingdome of Heauen THE kingdome of heauen is a most happy kingdome a kingdome which hath no death nor end where there shal be no succession of tymes nor no interruption of the day by any night Where the victorious souldier is euen laden with vnspeakeable treasures an immortal crowne being placed vpon his triumphant head O that the diuine mercy hauing first discharged the weight of my sins would commaund me who am the least amongst the seruants of Christ to lay downe this burthen of flesh and bloud that so I might passe on towards my true repose in those eternall ioyes of his Citty that I might beare my part among th' inhabitants of those heauēly Quires that I might assist in glorifying our Creatour with those blessed spirits that I might behold the face of God there present that I might not be so much as touched with the least feare of death but that I might securely reioyce through the incorruptibility of immortall glory that being conioyned to him who knoweth all things I might loose all blindnes of ignorance that I might esteem meanely of all earthly thinges that I might no longer vouchsafe to behold or euen so much as to remember this valley of teares the life whereof is laborious and corruptible a life which is full of all bitternes a life which is the mistresse of sinne and the slaue of Hell The humours of our body doe puffe it vp paynes put it downe intemperate heats dry it the ill affections of the ayre indispose it meate makes it fat fasting makes it shrinke loose myrth dissolueth it afflictions consume it solicitude straitens it security makes it sottish riches make it vane pouerty makes it base youth extolleth it age makes it stoope sicknes breaks it sorrow deiects it the Diuell lyes in wayte for it the world flatters it the flesh is delighted the soule is blinded and the whole man is disioynted And to all these so many and great mischiefes death doth furioussy succeed doth so impose an end vpon these vayne ioyes that when once they leaue to be it is scarce so much as beleeued that they euer were CHAP. IX How God doth comfort an afflicted soule after too great lamentations BVT what prayse what thakes shal we be able to giue thee O our God who euen in the midst of these great miseries of our mortality dost not faile to comfort vs with the admirable visitation of thy Grace For Behold when I am full of many sorrowes whilst I am fearing the end of my life whilst I am considering my sinns whilst I am meditating vpon death whilst I am frighted with thinking on thy iudgement whilst I tremble at the torments of hell whilst I am ignorant with what scales my works are to be wayghed by thee whilst I cannot knowe by what kind of end shal be able to shut them vp whilst I am ruminating vpon these many other things in my hart thou O my Lord and my God according to thy wonted pitty art present with a resolution to comfort me wretched creature And when I am in the midst of these complaints and excessiue lamentations and in the profoundest sighings of my hart thou takest vp this afflicted and perplexed minde aboue those high topps of the mountaines euen to those odoriferous spicy beds of thine and thou dost place me in that deepe pasture neere those brookes of sweet waters where thou preparest in my sight a table full of choice curious meats which may refresh my wearied spirit and may giue ioy to my afflicted hart And so at last being all restored by those delights and forgetting mine owne many miseries and being exalted aboue the highest partes of the earth and earthly thinges I repose in thee who art true peace CHAP. X. Of the sweetnes of diuine loue O My God I loue thee I loue thee and faine would I loue thee yet more and more Grant to me O Lord my God O thou beautifull beyond the sonnes of men that I may desire thee and that I may loue thee as much as I list and as much as I ought Thou art immense and without measure thou oughtest to be beloued especially by vs whom thou so hast loued and so hast saued and for whom thou hast done so many and so mighty things O loue which euer burnest and art neuer quenched sweet Christ deere Iesus O charity my God kindle me with all that fire of thine with thy loue with thy lyking with thy sweetnes with thy desire with thy Charity with thy ioy and exultation with thy piety and suauity with thy pleasure with that ardent desire of thee which is holy and good chast cleane That so being all full with the sweetnes of thy loue and all perfumde sweetened by the flame of thy Charity I may loue thee my most sweet and most beautifull Lord with my whole hart with my whole soule with my whole strength with all the application of my mind with much contrition euen with a very fountaine of teares with much reuerence and trembling loue carrying thee in my hart and in my mouth before mine eyes at all tymes in all places that so there may neuer be found any roome in me for any disloyall and impure loue CHAP. XI Of the preparation of our Redemption O Most beautifull Christ Iesus I beseech thee by that most sacred effusion of thy most pretious bloud whereby we are redeemed graunt me contrition of hart and a very fountaine of teares especially whilest I am offering vp both my vocall and mentall prayers to thee Whilest I am singing the Office of thy prayse to thee whilest I do either declare with my mouth or consider in my mind the mystery of our redemption that expresse testimony of thy mercy Whilest I though vnworthy am assisting at thy sacred Altar intending to offer vp to thee that admirable celestiall sacrifice which is so worthy of
all reuerence and deuotion and which thou O Lord our God our Priest didst immaculately institute and didst commaund to be offered vp in commemoration of thy charity that is of thy death and passion for our saluation and for the dayly reparation of our frailty Let my mind be confirmed whilest I am in the midst of those so great misteryes by the sweetnes of thy presence Let it find that thou art there at hand and let it reioyce before thee O thou fire which euer flamest O thou loue which euer burnest sweet Christ deere Iesus thou eternall and neuer fayling light thou foode of life which dost refresh vs and yet dost neuer diminish in thy selfe who art dayly eaten and yet dost euer remaine entiere shine thou vpon me kindle me illuminate and sanctify this vessell which is thine owne Make it empty of malice replenish it with grace and when it is once full keep it so that I may receaue this food of thy flesh to the saluation of my soule and that by feeding on thee I may liue of thee and by thee that so I may arriue to thee and repose in thee CHAP. XII Of spirituall ioy O Thou sweetnes of loue and thou loue of sweetnes let my stomacke feed on thee let euen my bowels be all filled with the Nectar of thy loue and let my mind vtter that good word O charity O my God thou hunny which is so sweet thou milke which is so white Thou art the food of strong persons make me increase towards thee that so I may feed vpon thee and tast thee withth epalate not of a sick but of a sound person Thou art the life by which I liue the hope to which I doe adhere and the glory which I desire to obtaine Hold thou fast my hart rule my mind direct my vnderstanding erect my loue suspend my thoughts and draw the mouth of this spirit which thirsteth after thee into those liuing streames of celestiall running waters I beseech thee impose silence vpon these tumultuous thoughts of flesh and bloud let these conceits of the earth of the waters and of the ayre and of these heauens which re we see hold their peace Let all visions reuelations which are imprinted vpon the imagination be silent and euery tongue and sensible expression and what soeuer els which hath his complete beeing by passing on Let euen the soule be islent to it self and let it outstrip and exceed it selfe by not thinking of it selfe but only of thee O my God because thou in very deed art all my hope all my confidence For in thee O my God and my Lord in thee O most sweet O most amiable O most mercifull Christ Iesus there is a part of the flesh and bloud of euery one of vs. Now therefore where a part of me doth raigne there do I beleeue my self to raigne Where my bloud hath dominion there do I also confide my selfe to be in dominion where my flesh is glorifyed there doe I know my selfe to be glorious For howsoeuer I am a sinner yet I cannot despaire but that I shal be admitted to this communication of thy grace And although my iniquityes forbid me yet that substance of mine doth inuite me and although my sinnes do exclude me yet that participation of nature doth not suffer me to be reiected CHAP. XIII That the VVord Incarnate is the cause of our Hope FOr our Lord is not so an enemy as that he can forebeare to loue his owne flesh and the parts of his owne body his owne bowells I might iustly haue despayred by reason of my excessiue sinnes vices of those infinite negligences and faults which I haue commited and which I dayly do commit by thought word and deed and by all those meanes wherby the frailty of mans nature may sinne vnlesse the Vvord my God had become flesh and had dwelt amongst vs. But now I dare not despaire because he growing obedient to thee euen to the death and that the very death of the Crosse did take that hand-writing of our sins and nayling it to the same Crosse did crucify both sinne and death In him therefore doe I securely conceaue hope who sitteth at thy right hand and interceedes for vs. And confiding in him I trust I shall arriue to be with thee in whome we are risen and haue liued againe and haue ascēded vp to heauen and are remaining there To thee be praise glory honour thankesgiuing for euer CHAP. XIV How sweet a thing it is to thinke of God O Thou most mercifull Lord who didst so loue and saue vs who didst so quicken and exalt vs O most mercifull Lord how sweet is the memory of thee How much more I meditate on thee so much more art thou sweet amiable to me Therefore doth it delight me extremely to behold thy excellencyes with a pure sight of the mind and with a most sweet affection of pious loue according to the little power I haue in this place of my pilgrimage Where although I be apperrelled with a poore garment of flesh and bloud I do yet continually aspire to the consideration and desire of thy admirable amability and beauty For with the dart of thy charity am I wounded and I am all on a light fire of desire concerning thee I couet to arriue to thee and thee doe I desire to behold Therefore will I euer stand vpon my guard with vigilant eyes I will be singing in spirit and I will also sing with my vnderstanding with all my forces will I prayse thee who art both my Creatour and my Redeemer I will penetrate the heauens with my affectiō and I will so approch to thee with my desire that I may be held but onely in body by this present misery and all my thoughts and the greedines of my desire shal be euer vpon thee that so my hart may be where thou my treasure art who art so desirable so incomparable and so deerely amiable But behold O my most pittifull and most merciful God whilest I am applying my selfe to the consideratiō of thy immense goodnes and pitty my hart is not able to goe through with it For thy grace thy beauty thy vertue thy glory thy magnificence thy Maiesty and thy charity doth exceed all the powers of our mind And as the splendour of thy glory is inestimable so is the benignity of that eternal charity of thyne vnspeakable whereby thou hast adopted them for thy sonnes ioyned them close to thy selfe whom formerly thou hast created of nothing CHAP. XV. How much tribulation endured for Christ our Lord is to be desired O My soule if dayly we were to suffer torments yea and euen to endure the very paines of hell that for a long tyme together to the end that we might arriue to see Christ in his glory to be associated to his Saints would it not be fit for vs to beare all that affliction if therby we