that Duty The Spirit knows the Mind of God and is the Intelligencer of Heaven he directs us to the most favourable Seasons and by soft Whispers and warm Impulses brings us in God's Presence to pray for Mercies when God is ready to bestow them He does with sensible Enlargements open our Hearts in the Duty And as under the Law when Fire fell from Heaven upon the Sacrifice 't was a sign of God's Acceptance so when a sacred Fire kindles our Affections 't is a sign our Requests are accepted He mixes in our Prayers Reverence with filial Confidence Resignation to the Will and Wisdom of God with Reliance upon his Love and Power And when a Mercy is bestowed the Spirit converts our Prayers into Praises and by the Mercy confirms our Faith inflames our Love and endears Obedience to us Concerning the Person of whom the following Papers give an account I shall only say He is a Christian inwardly who has had a stated Intercourse with Heaven and has recorded the gracious Passages of Providence the rich Returns of Prayer to him 'T is true there is a continual succession of Mercies through all the minutes of our lives which we cannot observe and remember but as there is a different Glory in the lights of Heaven One Glory of the Sun another of the Moon and another of the Stars so some are eminent and illustrious above others and ought to be remembred and acknowledg'd with Solemnity Of these Mercies he has been deeply sensible and could not be silent but opens the Treasures of his Experiences and with David the great Pattern of Thankfulness calls upon those that Fear the Lord to Read what he has done for his Soul His end is to Glorifie his Blessed Benefactors and to invite others to partake of the same Mercy May his Example excite us with diligence and delight to maintain Communion with God on Earth the sweet and sure anticipation and earnest of our Communion with him in his Temple above where Light and Love and Joy shine in their perfection for ever To the Reader WHO amongst the adopted Sons of God can behold the abounding Vice of the Prophane the profession of Christianity made a Cloak for Sin and Error and the laziness of Christians lives in our day and not awaken our selves to hear God speaking in the same language to us as to the children of Israel Isa 43.10 You are my witnesses Is God's Divine Providence practically deni'd or retrench'd when so much thereof is in the constant view of the sons of men Is the Word of Truth deni'd by a Sectary of Deists when so much thereof is felt as real in the Souls of Christians Is the Godhead of Christ with the Being of a Divine Spirit so audaciously and prophanely deni'd when those who have experienced the priviledges of the satisfaction of the first by the powerful application of the latter witness the reality of both I am resolved therefore to make no other Apology for my Printing the following Discourse than that it is in obedience to the Apostle's charge to all Believers in the 10th verse of the 4th Chapter of the first Epistle of Peter As every man hath received the gift even so minister the same one to another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God What I have imparted I have receiv'd and in these gradual steps and in the use of these means treated of in the first and latter part of the Discourse and therefore in the imparting of what God has done for my Soul and by what means I hope I stand his witness this day on the earth and approve my self a faithful Steward in ministring the same things to others and that in the way wherein they were received There seems to be a Confederacy between Satan and the men of this Age to discredit the Oracles of God but his Word is a firm foundation of Faith and sincere Christians clearly see the Characters of its Divinity and feel the sanctifying comforting efficacy of it and many have seal'd its truth with their blood Others in their dying hours when men speak with most feeling and least affectation have declared their unshaken belief of it and others in converse with those they most dearly love and therefore would not deceive Each Christian therefore is under obligation to glorify God according to their measure of experience concerning God and his Divine Truths All are not in the office of the Ministry and there seems in our day but small opportunity in conversation to witness for Christianity Converse with the Prophane is of so dangerous consequence that discourse of such things occasion God and his Truth to be mock'd yea to my certain knowledge blasphemed Converse with some under the character of greater Sobriety draws forth such open confidence in Error as to tell us God's Word the Rule of our Faith is to be laid aside and Debates in Christianity are to be left off at the first Chapter of Genesis they giving no credit to its Truths than so far as their natural Reason can comprehend whereas the Soul was corrupted in all its faculties by the Fall Although in the structure of the world and its preservation with the various turns of Providence there are clear discoveries of the Divine Maker yet how little advance did the wise Philosopher make to that perfection of Soul which was in man before the Fall or to that that is obtain'd under the influencing light of the Scripture and the Divine Spirit or shall be in man plac'd in a state of glory And though God has added to us his blessed Scripture in conjunction with the works of Creation and Providence to exercise our thoughts upon for the perfecting of our knowledge yet to what little advancement do many attain in the understanding of God and Divine Mysteries Therefore our compassionate Father in Christ sensible of our weakness in the real and firm understanding of Divine Things has given forth another help to our dark Soule in conjunction with the former even his Divine Spirit teaching us all truth and helping us to a rest and reliance upon his Word working in us a sense and feeling of those great and marvellous mysteries for preparing our Souls towards the more full and glorious perception of them The Revelation in the Old Testament was like the morning-light mixt with the shades of the night the Revelation in the New Testament is clear day but the Revelation of God and Christ in Heaven is like the Sun at noon in its full lustre If this therefore has been God's gradual method to restore men and we enjoy so bright a discovery of mercy to save us those who refuse to accept it cannot escape the condemnation due as the recompence of it the dwelling in darkness with the children of darkness and disobedience for ever Rom. 2. If those who have had no other help in the understanding of the invisible things of God besides the beholding of created things are
God in all Events and the attributing this to Chance or some external Accident if I had not discover'd God's own hand in the matter For besides God's adapting it so suitably to my present Case by the true meaning of the words there immediately issued relief to my anxiety and full quiet of mind and comfortable satisfaction without the least repining And I still find upon the occurrences of the like temptation a power not reduceable to my self as the Fountain but proceeding from Christ and conveyed by his Spirit working mightily in my Soul Let therefore these prosper and others excel me my satisfaction is founded on God's special conduct of Providence round me God's over-ruling all Events for such an end as the dethroning of Corruption and the raising of Grace to such perfection of Faith and meetness for Heaven as will be rewarded with an abundant entrance into that blessed Kingdom This divine calm of Mind was the product of the Holy Spirit the great Comforter for meer Reason and natural Constitution cannot quiet us upon such Motives and are but weak Bulwarks to defend against disquieting impressions when difficulties occur Fourthly Having set apart some time for private Prayer concerning a more than ordinary Affair and reading some Scripture before it one Verse thereof affected my thoughts by way of Instruction more than the other parts of that portion of Scripture it was the last Verse of the 10th Chapter of Ecclesiastes Curse not the King in thy thoughts nor the rich in thy bed-chamber for the birds of the air shall declare the voice and the fowl with wings shall tell the matter In the reading whereof such a divine Power accompanied me that set me a resolving from that moment to eschew speaking evil privately and that by way of whisper against my Superiors and others and to leave whatever might be express'd against my self in such a manner to the permission of a Divine Hand under whose especial Conduct I had some comfortable evidence of being stated having at this very time often and often experienc'd that upon reporting any thing injurious to others either from a foundation of Self-applause or of spreading a reproach with that privacy that I have imagin'd it impossible the reproach could ever reach their ear yet it has been heard of and providentially return'd me with the just punishment of Reproach either from the same person or from another by a reproach of the same kind And that this resolution of Conformity to this Scriptural Lesson might be the more effectually perform'd I set it upon Record with a design of viewing it every morning before my entrance upon publick Conversation to help forward that resolved watch of taking heed to my ways not to sin with my tongue To the intermission of which watch so many daily Temptations occur not only from natural inclination to applaud one's self and to disparage others but from the ill example of others who upon pretension of concern and friendship for a person and trusting to their privacy they are conversing with whisper an ill report with the name of the person reproach'd and thereby draw forth a mutual discourse upon the thing that aggravates and fixes its belief upon their minds and thoughts that it is ready to break forth on all occasions while the person reproached is perfectly ignorant and perhaps as truly innocent This is the abounding Sin of the Christians of this day either to believe a Reproach too soon or to aggravate it in its after-report and neglect the speaking to the persons concern'd for their amendment This is privately contrary to the Rule of the Gospel and hinders the obtaining of spiritual Blessings yea brings Men under the danger of that denunciation Psal 101.5 Whoso privily slanders his neighbour him will I cut off Fifthly When I have been under great concern for the omission of Duty and losing that delight therein that I had formerly enjoyed then the Lord has made that verse of the 7th Chapter of the Romans a powerful relief to my fear of its being evidence of no grace The law of the mind warring against the law of the members And when I have found before the performance of Prayer a struggle between doing and neglecting it and the most trifling occasion looking out at a Window a great noise and the like delaying of my Duty then my Soul labour'd under the weight of concern lest it betoken'd my being altogether empty of Grace and that till God was pleas'd to bear home this express Scripture-truth to be experienc'd in my self and to quiet my Mind by a Sermon Preach'd upon the 1st v. of the 4th chap. of the Hebrews Let us fear lest we come short of that rest wherein in the Explication of Fear so far as Duty he discover'd the mixture of Corruption and Grace in a Christian Soul here on Earth and that strugglings often rising thence would cause fear in the Soul but what was no ground of fear unless when overcome by them after which time I begun to observe the victory over these disturbing fears within and the exercise of a greater watch unto Prayer to endeavour their repulse Sixthly Another Scripture powerfully bore home has been that of the 16th of Matthew where Christ desires his Disciples to Remember the five Loaves which Scripture then and ever since in the steps of God's advancing Reliance in my Soul has been of great use and when God has seem'd to withdraw any sorts of Mercies it has made me have immediate recourse to former Experiences with the good effect of accusing my self for my little faith and forgetfulness so soon of his former preventing Mercies hastening me to Prayer for strength of Faith and Reliance upon him Let this be upon the Thoughts of poor Creatures under God's sensible withdrawings to prevent sinking fears lest they are without Grace when there is Grace in Sincerity but not in that sensible strength which by Prayer and the remembrance of God's former Mercies they should diligently endeavour to obtain Seventhly That Scripture of seeking the Lord while he may be found and calling upon him while he is near bore home in sweet Exercise at such a time when God's Breathing has been sensibly upon my Soul raising my frame to a Heavenliness of Mind when the Holy Spirit by warm influences excites the Soul 't is a season of Grace to the unrenewed and a precious opportunity and advantage to the real Christian This has made me to prize the smallest motions of the Divine Spirit not to quench them and watchful of entertaining them in the exercise of Meditation and Prayer eschewing what Conversation might at that time bring levity of Mind to dethrone them Eighthly Another Scripture imprest seriously upon my Heart was the 21st and 22d verses of the 18th chapter of Matthew Then said Peter Lord how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him till seven times And Jesus said unto him Vntil seventy times seven This has been a
knowledge of Divine Things but purely as the effect of natural Curiosity inducing me both to observe and to record them with great pleasure in reviewing them and finding the more I observ'd the greater and more numerous things were presented to me I became stricter in observing things of great and smaller moment While I continued in this practice a Dispensation of Providence occurr'd that induced me not to trust in my self or second Causes but by a siducial assent to the Being of a God in his full governing Power as to Persons and Things with a full desire of being interested in the favour of this Great and Omnipotent God to live in an entire dependance upon Him The Providence was as follows Being call'd to attempt a matter of great concern that many far excelling me in Age rational Judgment and natural Activity had endeavour'd though unsuccessfully to bring about I brought the Business and that in a very few days to all seeming probability of success but being obliged by a Providential Occasion to be absent and to appear where those that had try'd their endeavour to no effect did usually reside I found the progress I had already made with the prospect of perfecting the matter had so increased the esteem of my self that disparaging of those was the Game I then exercised my self withal but returning to the place where the Business was to be performed matters were altogether chang'd for the worst and upon enquiry of the time this change happen'd my custom of Observation having brought me to some more than ordinary curiosity in it I found it exactly answering the time my Lust of Pride put forth its Tyranny in my Conversation and stepping from the Floor to my Bed that very night this Suggestion suddenly and strongly darted into my Mind That by my ill return to God's Kindness affording such hopes of success in detracting from Him the Praise that was entirely due for such an eminent Providence and in not retaining an humble Sense of my own Unworthiness and Insufficiency I had provoked the Lord thus to turn the course of the Affair immediately convincing me who it was that had made me to differ from others of more promising Abilities than I and impressing my Mind with great seriousness of Thought and force to Prayer begging Pardon from Him and His further assistance in the matter with a full resolution of looking to God extolling Him and debasing my self in the success My Prayer was immediately return'd evident by the great alteration that immediately happened as a sweet Condescention of God to train a poor Creature to the Knowledge of Himself and to delight in Him but in a weeks time more being call'd to the same place as before I found the same Self-applause return This was a full conviction to me of the great need of continued supplies of Heaven after the greatest confirmations of God's Love to preserve us from forgetting his Mercies or repeating failures and correspondent to this the same unsuccessful turn happened in the affair which was so powerfully bore home upon my Soul that I could not but see God with favour in one hand and punishment in another marvellous Mercy in bringing me to the sense of my failure and the repetition of my Address to Heaven Punishment in withholding his assistance the just merit of my forgetfulness and of my repeated failure Upon Address to God by serious and sincere Prayer with unfeign'd Confession the Business turn'd again with a favourable aspect of success suitable to the Psalmist I confessed my Sin and thou forgavest the Iniquity or Punishment of my Sin And at last by his Divine Assistance attain'd a final and perfect success though between my first undertaking and this final Issue there was four turns of Providence exactly answering my Soul's posture From hence I date my first sence of inward serious thoughtfulness of passages of Divine Providence of minding God in all undertakings with an entire dependance upon him for conduct to the right use of means and for a Divine Blessing to make them successful of the certainty of access to him for this very end with a distrust of self-sufficiency all which met as it were in a moment in my Soul by the Spirit of God's bearing home this passage upon me But from the Observation of God's further method of outward Providence and inward Workings of his Spirit I have found that these were but little glimmerings of light an Eye beginning to be open'd after a sound and secure sleep God having marvellously enlightn'd my Eyes since and made me to see what before I knew only in the notion enabling me to discourse thereof but what now I hope I may say I have felt and am well assured of even the truth of an inward change upon the Soul putting it self forth with such power as to hinder Thought Words and Actions to run in the same course from the same principle or towards the same end as before but to tread according to a Rule not of self but of God's Will I could subjoin many circumstances of this Providence here related that might marvellously affect the Reader yea other Providences concerning the Lord's first exciting designs as well as his method in bringing them successfully about were it not that I am unwilling to be known to the World and that for these Reasons First That Mockers at and Unbelievers of these great things experimental Religion has made known to my Soul may not prejudice themselves by imagining show self-commendation and applause at the bottom of this design the faithful aim thereof being to bring men off their reliance upon notional Religion and their trusting to their rational conclusions as fittest means to inform them of Christianity or to their own strength as sufficient help to the right performance of Gospel Duties and to lead them to the vital part of Christianity experiences therein not to be maintain'd by notional knowledge or quarrelling Debates but by a serious and strict use of means God commonly imparts the experience of himself and his Word by The Lord has given forth great Truths to be tryed and experienced in the Christian Soul but we are not at the pains either to observe them or by mutual converse to confirm one another in the truth of them A Second Reason is Lest it prove Temptation to my self exciting a corrupt Principle within to puffing up whereas great Humility is the companion of such Experiences when first felt in the Soul and ought to be preserv'd in imparting them to others lest we our selves be exalted above measure or ingage others to think of us above what we are Again this change wrought in my Soul is the Lord 's own doing let it therefore in its declaration glorifie him by Confirming some and Instructing others without any knowledge of my self therein but with full discovery of the actings of a Divine Spirit This Seriousness brought forth by the means of so remarkable an outward Providence in the Hand
powerfully to pray for strength to resist the temptations of reproaching others either through the natural tendency thereto the common example of others or out of the tempting-design of self-applause in the disparagement of others and answerable hereto marvellous strength of Christ's Spirit was afforded me with special Providences discovering this spiritual strength accompanied with the bearing home upon my thoughts that of St. Matthew chap. 7. ver 12. All things whatsoever you would that men should do unto you do you even so with them That then I could not but observe my self against my own corrupted inclination and others example preserv'd from this too natural and common Vice even of lazy and professing Christians who by the actual remembrance of this very passage might be an excellent means to preserve them from the malignant infection of reproaching others Fifthly I experienc'd a wonderful strength to pray for a continued sense of God's All-seeing Eye as well in Conversation as in the performance of Religious Duties suitable to which not only awful thoughts of his Majesty approach'd in Duties preventing Distraction therein seiz'd me but even a powerful awe of God affected me in common and private Actions always considering any Circumstance in the Action as might destroy God's accepting thereof especially as to Acts of Charity wherein I have found such a watch over my self as I could not have been satisfied without strict enquiry Whether unwillingliness was not in the action Whether some desire of applause or only pity and natural tenderness were not the Motives of this charitable action and nothing then has been more pleasing than to find that a willingliness to obey God's Command on purpose to please him in the compassionate relief of others a chearfulness without the least intermixture of reluctancy a sincerity without the least desire of its being known were the ingredients of the Duty I desire to witness the difficulty of thus performing actions without great and actual influences of strength from above the reception whereof is often obtain'd by that blessed means of solemn or ejaculatory Prayer wherein the Spirit of Christ intercedes for his People The same Spirit of Prayer imprest upon me a sense of God's all-seeing Eye and that Scripture was continually in my Thoughts Of doing all things as unto the Lord the constant remembrance whereof I have found greatly advancing that Gospel-perfection of an unfeigned sincerity both in converse with God in Holy Duties and with one another in common Actions and Discourses Sixthly I can tell you that at another time I have been powerfully helpt to Petition for the exercise of love to God and answerable to this I have been helpt in Prayer and in worldly Business to draw forth kindlers of Love to God from all sensible circumstances of my self and others even from the poor in the Streets both as to their poverty and imperfections of Body blessing the Lord with sweet exercise of Love to him yea this Grace of Love to God has been excited from the observation of fulness and prosperity in some but with great emptiness of the inward comfort of the experiencing Christian's Soul for sensual pleasures divert their Thoughts from the observation and enjoyment of what is much more to be valued in their Nature and lasting in their Duration At this very time happening to be alone in a Coach remarking such kindlers of Love from circumstances of others appearing in the streets suddenly and strongly this suggestion forc'd it self upon my mind How was it That God did show such special favour to me beyond others yea to make me differ so much from my self in former times with amazing Thoughts of the change upon my Soul and immediately that Scripture over-awed me from corrupt rational arguing or from Satan's darkening or deviateing me from right Conceptions of God and his Ways I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion from whence happened such quiet of Mind as has by the blessing of God still'd my Thoughts perfectly as to that great point of Election which is the great effect of free unmerited Mercy and in the use of means brings the children of Mercy safely to salvation This warmly excited my Love to God having an evidence of my share in his Electing Mercy by the inseparable effects of it the work of Grace begun in me and preparing me for the Heavenly Glory A Seventh Experience was When altogether insensible of the growth of Faith and when the Lord by a marvellous method was to establish it in my Soul even then I observ'd for some considerable time that I was carried out in Prayer and Meditation with zealous Affection that the Lord would turn my Eye and trust from sensible things to a trust and reliance upon God himself as to all outward things and as to the inward advancement of Hâ—liness as a mean tending to future Salvation answerable to which God has discovered himself marvellously in the steps of outward Providential Dispensations and by the inward workings of his Spirit as means of founding and establishing this Grace of Reliance in my Soul which I hope shall be increasing in the use of means till Faith obtain its perfect end the Fruition of God in Glory And tho' I hope I may say in Humility that my Soul is raised above sensible things to look to things unseen and to set my Esteem and Reliance with comfort and satisfaction upon them independently upon worldly things yet I am asham'd for the small growth of Reliance in me and that greater improvement therein has not been the fruit of the infinitely wise and condescending method of God's goodness in training me to live by Faith in his Promises and Perfections Experience of God's Method in training me to the first sense of Reliance with its further establishment and growth and that exactly as they are set down in Record in my Diary THE first Experience leading me to observe God's following Method with me was that of carrying me forth in Prayer to petition establishment of Faith in my Soul which begun most remarkably after a Fit of Sickness and has continued to be upon my Mind in all my Suits greater or lesser since that and I hope will continue to the end of my Militant Warfare A second Experience leading me to Reliance upon God was by removing all dependance from these outward fabulous Passages reckoned as ominous of such and such certain Events which undoubtedly were at first the effect of ignorance of the true God amongst the Heathen World who notwithstanding the discoveries of God in his Nature and Providence by visible things the Effects of his Power yet natural things keep first in their view and had the preheminency of God in their minds and hearts And though we enjoy the discovery of God in his Word and Providence so plainly yet how do we retain the example in reducing those things to Natural Causes that are to be appli'd
thing desired and not to the Utterance in the Prayer Spiritually perform'd and that by as eminent a Saint as ever liv'd on Earth tho' now gone off the stage of time without the sight of its return yet died in the Faith of my seeing its return but still his Thoughts was upon what he so mightily prest for in his own desire Providentially happening to design a matter of great concern and imparting the design with some passages of Providence exciting me first thereto to this Saint then on Earth he desired some time to think upon the matter ere he return'd his Advice which I found was on purpose to lay the whole affair before the Throne of Grace by repeated Addresses thereto After which he advis'd my undertaking the design from his sense of God's laying it in my way by special conduct of Providence and from his sense of his Petition accepted for Divine Assistance in it and marvellous Effects from it from which I engag'd in the endeavour but all attempts prov'd unsuccessful In the interim of which endeavour my Thoughts in Prayer never fixt to any one Petition concerning it besides Divine conduct in the use of means and Resignation to his Divine Will this endeavour between hopes from this Prayer accepted and discouragement from the unsuccessfulness of attempt continued for many months yet still easie and with amazing Resignation to God's Will till at last such a circumstance fell out as did unalterably obstruct the matter and the return that he applied his Prayer unto notwithstanding of which amongst his last words to me on Earth long after this disappointment he utter'd this Sentence with great exercise of Faith That I should meet with a full discovery of God's design therein and that in answer to his Prayer Prayer accepted and the intimation thereof given will never want its return clearly verified from comparing his Letters and Words to the Events that have attended my life since tho' the disappointment seemed an evidence of his Prayers lost yet really has led into such things as plainly appear his Prayer's return his mistake appearing to be fixing his Spirituality in Prayer with his other evidences of its acceptation to what he so much desir'd to wit the success of an outward endeavour whereas if his Utterance had been recorded reflected upon and compared with Events that even I begun to find from God in my self and did discover to him the mistake might have been prevented In one of his Letters he expresses himself thus It is becoming me with much humble sobriety to speak as to any impression on my Spirit with respect to your business though often I dare say I have had some special assurance from the Lord of his Gracious respect to you so as I could not question the evidence whereof was so full and clear and of so great testimony yet to you hereof in the way of Providence and am at the furthest of persuasion that such a breaking up of Light shall occur as shall be matter both of Joy and farther Establishment and if after such unusual and eminent Evidences he has given of his Respect and Favour to you beyond most in this day would it be strange or grievous if in so great a concern he should take a new trial of your Love and Resignation to him by giving it entirely up to his blessed disposal I know you have settled your Reliance on his Hand in ordering the present matter who has been your God and the God of your youth hitherto In another Letter his Words were You shall see the design of the Lord in this affair however dark it at present appear with that evidence as shall tend to a higher establishment of you in his Way and Truth and clear all former dark steps the greatest experiments of Trust has been most obtain'd in the greatest extremities of his Peoples case In another Letter his Words were Tho' it is not easie to write at such a distance yet I have confidence to say That one day rarely passes without some serious remembrance of you My last acquaintance with you has been amongst the most sweet remarks of my being in England especially as to the blessed way of God round you therein you have been a further strength to my Faith I know not how that matter is with you but I hope I may adventure to say That if ever I knew converse with Heaven here I have often had yea in some special way an answer of Peace and Assurance about the Lord 's Gracious Design of Grace for you and of his further testifying the same to your Soul I hope you are gaining new ground of a nearer acquaintance with the way of the Lord by which you will find that by the greatest tryals he takes of his followers here he then designs the greater tryal of himself and his Truth Now comparing the Words of this Saint express'd concerning the difficulty I was then under to my own experience of Divine Providence round me and to the Workings of Christ's Spirit in me since that time I cannot but confirm his Sense and Faith of Prayer accepted and witness its return to my self By the very words of his Letters the current of his Petitions and seeming Assurance run upon God's witnessing his special favour to me in the way of Providence and that such breaking up of Light should occur as might establish my Faith in God which blessed be his Name has been the real effect of God's disappointing my desire and endeavour after this outward thing yea has been a mean in God's hand to discover his special Love to my self in affording me a better Mercy in its room and establishing me thereby in a Trust to God as to all things else Besides since these outward attempts since those Letters receiv'd such marvellous occurrences of Providence I have enjoyed with such inward sensible workings of a Divine Spirit informing and comforting my Soul and making progress in that rich Grace of Faith and actual reliance upon God in all things both as to Soul and Body for conduct in the use of means and events following which makes out his Prayer accepted and that his assurance was firmly founded his failure being the misapplying the Prayer thus sweetly put up to a return of what he desired and not to the return exactly answering the Utterance of his Soul when Christ's Spirit breath'd upon his Petitions to God concerning the Lord's Gracious design and testimony thereof to my Soul I have had wonderful establishment no more amazing and assured to him in his actual strength to Petition it than to me in its enjoyment by way of his Prayers return'd It is conceivable by none but those who are strict observers of God's Ways How freely Words fly out of the Mouth of a Soul under a Heavenly ravishing in Prayer How familiarly they are express'd and with what quiet of Mind as to the return that if the Soul out of this frame would desire and do all that
account receiv'd has exactly answer'd the Petitions and Utterance actually put forth and not to them only design'd to be express'd in Prayer A Ninth Experience of certainty of access to God and of his Spirit 's breathing power on the Soul to ask what he knew was to be return'd has been concerning a design of three different endeavours at one time and Prayer for guidance a mean made use of I have found all shadow of Spiritual enlargement in Prayer concerning it strongly withheld and so indeed has the least degree of successful endeavour but for the second enlargement only once suitable to which successful endeavour in one circumstance thereof and at that very time did occur and for the third such Heavenliness of frame in Petitioning not only once but all along continued upon the Soul and so successful endeavour without one cloud prov'd the issue Plainer expression I cannot well use and instances I must forbear left it occasion the discovery of my self A Tenth Experience of the Lord 's exciting and preparing to ask what he was in his good pleasure to return was That of his exciting and powerfully strengthening of my Soul for a continued time to Pray for self-abasement when at the same time no outward Temptation has been my motive thereto though soon after has appeared some outward advancement and correspondent to the Divine Wisdom and loving care of Christ's Spirit enabling me to ask the exercise of Humility Self-loathing has always accompanied such outward smiles yea from observation of this Experience I have imagin'd a smiling Providence eminent from the frequency of this suit to the Lord undesign'd but greatly assisted to Petition it I have often experienced That when my Soul has not been thus carried out to Petition lowness of Mind either before or in the enjoyment of outward advancement that either security therein has fallen out afterward imbittering my Thoughts or some circumstances in the thing enjoy'd that has imbittered its sweetness or remov'd its satisfaction nothing being more satisfactory to a Christian Soul as the reception of an outward favour by special steps of Providence argument of Divine favour accompanied with such strength of a Divine Spirit as enables the Soul to improve it with the exercise of Love and Reliance upon the Bestower and to keep the Souls satisfaction therein in its true Bounds more upon the discovery of God's Love thereby than upon the thing it self enjoyed As the Experiences already laid before you relate to outward Enjoyments so now I shall give you some Experiences respecting Spiritual Enjoyments answerable to Christ's Spirit breathing influencing-strength to Petition them A First Experience thereof was When Spiritually carried out to ask for Humility previous to any Spiritual Improvement as well as before any Temporal Enjoyment and when security accompanied with the intermission of the means of Grace has followed any inward advancement then has a cloudying of what was an inward comforting evidence to the Soul issued but when the Soul has been carried forth to ask it before hand or in the time by way of return thereto the Soul's posture has been in the exercise of self-debasement and exultation of and dependance upon Christ's Spirit for producing such a marvellous change in the Soul without the least exalting thought of self I remember that one day in Conversation with that Holy Saint mentioned before I express'd my self concern'd to know the reality of my Grace to which he humbly reply'd I have not had the least Cloud as to my interest in Heaven but should rejoyce to experience that measure of confirming passages of God's special love as I know you have enjoy'd the effect whereof I found some quiet of Mind but by the wise over-ruling hand of God was follow'd with such cloudy darkness of Mind lest Satan had excited self-exultation or sinful security till in the following Evening-Prayer God carrying me forth to bless his Name for the evidences of his Love and to Petition Humillity in their enjoyment the darkness disappear'd and his discourse was bore home with the alone effect of quiet of Mind Love to and Reliance upon God and that with humble Thoughts of self Secondly I have found that previous to any victory over some particular Sins I have been help'd wonderfully to plead with God on this very account in a most near and sensible approach to him for Conquest over Sin that Scripture being at the time often and comfortable in my Thoughts Nay more than Conquerors through him that loved us answerable to which Temptations to these has occur'd Sins but victory of them has been my Mercy both as a return to the Prayer Christ's Spirit helpt me to ask and as an evidence of such a change in my Soul as bespoke my interest in Christ by the evident supplies of his strength enabling me to be victor of those Sins that formerly I gave way to Thirdly When God has been to afford me the evidence of great supply of strength to suppress wandering Thoughts in Duties suddenly and powerfully for some time ardent desire and great spirituality in Petitioning God has seiz'd me answerable to which marvellous freedom from wandering Thoughts has occur'd and that in all the Duties I have been exercised in A remarkable instance of this Experience was When at a certain time my Petitions run out for strength to overcome wandring in Duty with full assistance of God's Spirit to supplicate and by a passage of Providence establishing my comfort though wandrings prevail'd and a mean of helping forward my victory therein The passage of Providence was thus Being one Sabbath-morning hinder'd from my ordinary place of Hearing and having an opportunity of hearing Sermon in the afternoon I found my desire with a constâ—aining force towards another place and Minister which was so strong without any rational Motives thereto that I would not be hinder'd though several difficulties occur'd in my way in the hearing of which Sermon my disposition was so spiritual that my Thoughts had full flight thither and I in the exercise of low esteem of the Earth with all its Allurements but which was the Circumstance most remarkable is a Question a Minister was desir'd to answer to What should be done to help wandring thoughts in Duties Which was the very thing my mind was hurried withal then the thing Christ's Spirit was helping me to petition strength against and to which he was giving return with sensible Supplies and with this passage of Providence quieting my mind and as a help to forward my endeavour and victory over it his word was That it is a Complaint common to all Believers so long as there is a sense and concern for it the Christian is not overcome by it go therefore on not only striving against it but begging the Lord's aid to vanquish it Fourthly Previous to a sensible change in my self as to watchfulness in Conversation against reproaching of others suddenly and undesignedly and for some continued time my Soul was carri'd
disappointing my diligent use of Means commonly leading to such Ends But discovering God's design yea infinite love in my own disappointments and my Meditations thereupon were thus Did the Lord strengthen me eminently after my Fit of Sickness and continually in most if not all my Addresses to Heaven since that time to ask for advance of this Reliance And has the Lord return'd this Petition by sensible Reliance upon himself never formerly acquainted with and that in a mysterious conduct of outward Providence shall I therefore bring forth this ill improvement of not working with God or of trusting God only in the enjoyments of smiling Favours when difficulties sensibly have tended to the increasing my dependance upon God or trust God only when other things are of no use or when Means producing such Events naturally or probably turn their course and prove ineffectual No that should be no less than height of Ingratitude and what my loving God has prevented by his Spirit 's accompanying his method of special outward Providence and therefore have great Reason to walk in a Road of Constant Dependance upon him crying out Oh the height and depth of the Love of God in first designing me such a mercy of Reliance in bringing it about and that in a method of outward Providence evidencing it sensibly to my self as well as really working it in the Soul by his Spirit going along with his outward Providences and in preserving this Reliance notwithstanding the Soul's unwillingness when Duty and Interest went hand in hand at the same time This very Experience is enough to answer all the ignorant Cavils of the Irreligious and the Doubtings of some Christians who with the Psalmist are perplext how to understand rightly the inequality of Divine Providence towards the prophane and the gracious Christian the first abounding in worldly Pleasure while the other appears under crossing afflicting Providences The private Christian's inward observ'd experience of God's method with himself affords knowledge of God and his Ways and strength to resist corrupt and Satanical Suggestions and peace and comfort even in the enjoyment of outward disappointments when their Friends are in concern on their very account or others in their circumstances ready to stagger as to God's favour to them and that by reason of these things which appear to the observing Christian the greatest tokens of Divine special Love For the better understanding of this I would have you consider First That a Christian renewed from original Corruption to Grace is received under a special conduct of God's Providence without as well as his Spirit within and that greatly different from the common Providence that attend the wicked of the Earth Psal 4.3 But know that the Lord has set apart him that is Godly for himself Exod. 11.7 The outward Providence of God was so special towards the Children of Israel That the very Dogs were not to Bark at them besides to be witness to three or four private Christians imparting God's special conduct remarkt round each one of themselves one would think that the Narrative of each argued so much of Speciality as if each had been the alone beloved Child of God about whom he had spent his special loving Care whereas those round whom is the alone conduct of common Providence they can reach no higher than the general power of a great and merciful God as Creator and Preserver of all Things but not as their God and Father or their Providences attending them as the Fruits of their peculiar Interest in him through Christ and as Heirs of his Kingdom enjoying the earnest thereof in the special outward Providences and inward workings of a Divine Spirit attending their life Great loss therefore that Christian incurs who tho' under the special conduct of outward Providence yet wants the sense thereof unless in remarkable instances of it and that for want of a general observation of all the steps of God's Ways with himself from his first Conversion to a full establishment in all the Graces of God's Spirit A Christian that has been observant of God's outward and inward conduct not only witnesses a speciality of Providence regarding God's own children but he will patiently bear afflicting Dispensations that are designed to make him sensible of his neglect of God's dealings with him and of his neglect or careless performance of particular Duties and may change his nature from secure cold and lazy to spiritual heavenly and zealous and to make him more watchful and diligent in the resisting Temptations and mortifying Corruptions and in the exercise of every Grace that may preserve him from the power of the Tempter A Christian under the same special conduct of God's care but without the strict observation of it in all the steps of God's Providence has neither the knowledge nor the strength that the observing Christian has convey'd to his Soul as the true effects of so desirable a Duty but is ready to droop in his Spirit when afflicted not knowing God's design in particular tho' relying on that blessed Word That all things work together for good to them that love God yet missing God's particular design in the present want of his Soul the present Mercy thereby to be bestowed he becomes in danger of Satan's tempting him to Despondency of a Melancholly carriage in Religion and of passing his Pilgrimage State under Clouds Secondly That since God's own Children are under the special conduct of Providence then they alone must best judge of God's Wise procedure and witness for God that what the carnal World is apt to charge against God upon the account of the present Afflictions of his Children is from Ignorance For Afflictions are the certain Evidences of his Wisdom and Love as a Father and a Physician to purge them from Sin to make them more holy and heavenly on Earth and to make them more prepared to reign with him above Tho' those who are only led by sense see not Good in Afflictions yet sincere Believers who from constant observation and by the help of a Divine Spirit have improved Afflictions they are ready to comply with God's End so soon as it appears and earnestly pray for and rejoyce in the hope of a blessed Issue If Christians were serious in searching out their Sins before or in the time of Afflictions and how defective they are in the exercise of the Graces of the Spirit they would be assured not only from Divine Revelation but from their happy Experiences of God's Mercy in all that the peaceable Fruit of Righteousness will outweigh all their Sufferings and Sorrows A Fifth Method of God to advance Reliance upon himself was by immediate specialty of a Divine Hand in passages of Providence in laying matters of great success in my way and that in the following instances First By bringing them about without the operation of second causes commonly made use of having in many instances experienced such things laid in my way wherein I have hardly been
Patience through former Experience and Prayer wait without disquiet till the Divine Providence has sweetly ordered that disappointment to be for my greater good I could instance in this Experience a matter of greatest worldly concern where disappointment has fallen out contrary to desire and probable expectation from whence has issued a Providence at first appearance not so desireable or pleasing but a Mercy far beyond what I now know the other would have been and has some comfortable circumstances in it not so common in such a matter One instance greatly advancing Reliance upon God and confirming what has been formerly laid down of a certain correspondency between Christ's Spirit helping the Soul to Ask in Prayer and the Lord 's returning it was that my frame in Prayer was my great support while under no other view than that of a disappointment Who would not in the Enjoyment of such eminent Experiences leave all things to Heaven's conduct and by entire dependance thereupon with continued Prayer to be interested therein spend a whole life through this Earth and that with greater success to outward Affairs less anxiety of Mind concerning them or toil of Body to obtain them and much more sweetness than when brought about and no other Agent seen therein but outward endeavour of our selves strength of Friends or the like upon whom our Trust was wholly fixed Seventeenthly To advance an entire general dependance upon God he has marvellously discovered immediateness of his Hand in matters of very small moment and that both as a return to Prayer concerning them and as a token of special favour in them and tho' they have been such things as are reputed small yet they have been accompanied with as immediateness of Providence as clear a discovery of Divine Love as in weighty concerns designing thereby to bring me into a Dependance upon him for all things the meanest not being excluded from the compass of his Providence Many instances of this Experience I could bring forth in respect of my going from one place to another of Servants coming to and going from me yea reaching even to irrational Creatures that I have made use of I have had Experience that according to my strength in Petitioning Divine Favour concerning them and according to the time of neglecting or beginning and continuing this seriousness so successfulness or unsuccessfulness has occurr'd At this very time of God's training me into a Dependance upon himself a powerful bearing home of Scriptures upon my Soul of Promise for instruction conduct and comfort has been a remarkable mean in God's Hand and marvellously blessed with that great end of removing Diffidence and setling Reliance upon himself The First whereof by way of Promise was that of the 6th Chapter of Matthew vers 33. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you Of this Promise till now I could never feel the powerful Efficacy and apply it to my self for comfort At my first entrance upon Business in the world this Scripture suddenly seized my Thoughts without any previous Meditation thereupon or Reading it with remark in the Scriptures but with such constancy of impression that in diversions in real Business at home and abroad this Scripture would still rush upon my Thoughts Its suddenness and constancy of impression its suitableness to my circumstances at that time going to engage in the affairs of the world where Temptations to omit or intermit the seeking Grace in my Soul might abound and its correspondency to Experiences that afterward occurred in my concerns on Earth as means of sounding Grace in my Soul made me hope it was bore upon me by a Divine Power A further confirmation and certainty whereof I have had not only from its continuance even till this day in my Thoughts with the powerful influence of making me seek God first in all my concerns and to trust in him as the God that hears Prayers but also from the marvellous method of God in my life enabling me to use endeavours and giving his success to them chiefly when I am most diligent to advance his Kingdom of Grace in my Soul never could I say that I was diligent and spiritual in the means of Reading Prayer and the like for the advancement of Grace in my Soul but even then all outward Comforts flow'd in upon me with great sweetness in their Enjoyments and then Divine Providence has afforded me opportunities and success in my Temporal Affairs yea I never observ'd my self at any time disquieted or under the probable or real danger of the withdrawings of these Comforts but I always found my self out of the road of spirituality of frame and of the diligent use of means of Grace To the enjoyment of this Experience I am still held and do hope while I live shall be able to apply it as a special Gift from God's Divine and Merciful Hand Yea with the Psalmist in the 19th Psalm and 49th v. I have often found it a prevailing argument in Prayer That the Lord would remember the word to his servant upon which he had caus'd him to hope it was indeed his own work suddenly to bring and fix it upon my Thoughts at a time when I was altogether ignorant of such a thing as a spiritual Power accompanying any Scripture-Truth and a beginning only to be sensible of a special conduct of Providence round me but now it appears more plainly his work by its confirmation from the outward Providences and inward workings of Christ's Spirit in my Soul since till which confirmation I did not experimentally understand it and blessed be his Name I am at quiet that he will continue my hope therein till the Kingdom of Grace has had its Perfection here and I passed into his everlasting Kingdom of Glory where Promises shall be no more of use but there shall be the perfect Fruition of our rich Priviledges both of Grace and Glory A Second Scripture bore home upon my Soul with instruction and as a mean of advancing Reliance upon God more than upon means was That Scripture in Daniel wherein it is said That by the blessing of God the pulse nourished him that he looked fairer and fatter than these Children fed with King's meat One evening in Reading this passage of God's Word I found my Mind deeply imprest with Meditations upon it in an extraordinary manner tho' many a time I had read the same Scripture and with great seriousness but without such depth of Thought This made me hope at the time that it was the work of Christ's Spirit it proving afterwards a rule of action and a means of advancing greater Reliance upon a Divine Blessing to food than ever formerly I had observ'd in my self The Thoughts seizing me at the time were First The great weight to be laid upon a Divine Blessing for the nourishment of our Bodies as well as upon the food Eat Secondly The great seriousness that is necessary in
Scripture accompanied with great power to repel risings of Corruption towards Revenge and perfectly to quiet my Mind with a Reliance upon God concerning the matter The first Experience whereof met me in the Streets where hearing of a false and unmerited Aspersion upon my self at whose hands I deserv'd better immediately a design of Revenge was rising and was carried further on by meditating upon it till coming home and entring my Chamber and taking the Bible in my hands that very Scripture was offered to my View and by the influence of Heaven made an assisting-instrument of quiet at the time and ever since a strong help to watch my self in the like case Its suitableness to my circumstances its effectual power restraining me from complying with Satan and inward Corruption and inclining and enabling me to obey God whose Will is declared in his Word was a testimony that a gracious Providence brought that Scripture to my sight Ninthly When Reproaches against me and malicious Designs had a probability of taking effect and have been turn'd into other Events against the Design Wish or Expectation of my Enemies then that Scripture of the 11th verse of the 41st Psalm By this I know thou favourest me because my enemies triumph not over me has been not only confirm'd but imprest upon me with much inward Comfort At one time the whole 15th Psalm was bore upon my Thoughts with that strength and continuance that I was continually desiring Conformity to it and measuring my Actions by its Rule till God gave into my Soul the Evidence of some measure of Conformity to it with other spiritual Comforts at that time A multitude of other Scriptures have been applied to my Soul at the times of needing Comfort and Instruction but they would enlarge my Discourse too much and might occasion a discovery of the Author and therefore I chuse rather to stop here having enumerated so many as afford a Testimony to the reality of Christ's Spirit applying to the Precepts and Promises of the Word and bearing home Scripture Truths as instructive to instruct and remember us of our Duty and encourage us to persevere in it till we arrive at Heaven Experiences of God's Spirit 's sensible withdrawings in Prayer from helping the Christian to ask what he will not return though in his design to Petition THe First Experience whereof was That though I had designed to have Pray'd for an event yet in the Prayer I have not directed a Petition for it and though I have intended in the performance of that Duty several times to Pray for it I have been restrain'd Secondly When one day I designed to renew my Requests to God for obtaining a matter in my morning's Supplication my desires were fervently excited but in the afternoon I was much restrain'd and in some hours afterwards my Soul was drawn forth earnestly to seek it and upon enquiry I found that the three different alterations in the matter that day and the different times of the alterations exactly suited the times of different Prayer To illustrate which I 'll give you one instance amongst many concerning a Friend whose Circumstances I put up to the Lord three several times in one day and suitable to my great enlargement for them in my Morning-Prayer were much better but suitable to my Afternoons constraint were for some hours in racking misery and suitable to my return in spirituality in Prayer for them there was a return of mercy in their relief the circumstance of time exactly suited one another that there was a refreshment from Pains and a return of them according as Prayer was intense and enlarg'd or restrain'd of which I made careful Observation Thirdly Another Experience of constraint from Prayer has been concerning a matter which all circumstances considered was very likely to succeed but not finding my Heart in a frame to pray for it I suspected the issue and accordingly it was not effected An instance thereof was concerning the dearest Relation I had on Earth who being Sick for 6 weeks I was restrained from Prayer with Reliance upon God for restoring Mercy and the issue was the Death of that Beloved Person for whose recovery thorough the course of their Illness I could never put up one serious Petition Two very late passages I can set down greatly establishing my self and marvellous in themselves One was concerning a Person of great Worth of whose Death I had information in all probability certain but being in the Street all alone I found my self enlarged to pray for their Soul's Salvation and that with marvellous Pleasure as if I had been assuredly certain of their future eternal Happiness and being afterwards in serious Prayer I found the same sweetness as I have enjoyed in Spiritual Breathings from above upon this I humbly said to one who was my Bosome-friend I was not of the opinion that the Person I pray'd for was dead and imparted my Reason hereof That the Lord by his Spirit had help'd me in sweet spirituality to supplicate for them Accordingly we had an account of the Person 's being better but the next morning following I found such a restraint from Praying for that Person that I then said to my Friend That the Person was Dead and that very account we had presently after The other passage was Concerning one to be Executed for whose Salvation I found my Affections very ardently drawn forth in Prayer to the Father of Mercies but in Prayer for his Life my Desires were dried up and my Tongue did as it were cleave to the Roof of my Mouth Three times I found this change in my self being always carried out with fervency and freedom to Pray for his Soul but restrain'd and discourag'd to Pray for his Life observing this difference in my self I told an intimate Friend That I had good hope of his eternal Salvation but no hope of his Pardon The issue was the Condemned Person was Reprieved for two days and was afterward Executed and at his Death his Behaviour was so humble and Christian that the Minister that attended him declared his great satisfaction that he died a Penitent Believer Many instances of the same kind I could set down but I shall only add the following instance I was going to see a Friend that was Sick and addrest my self to God in secret Prayer before I went but a kind of terrour seiz'd my Mind and Words stopt that I could not offer up one Petition in any seriousness or with any hopes of being heard for recovery And going to see the Person found that they had been dead some time before This was a discovery to me that the Holy Spirit does often withdraw his Assistance to Ask for that which he knows God will not bestow Experiences of God's Method of training me to the serious aweful and delightful hearing of Sermons FIrst by suiting Sermons upon a Sabbath unexpectedly to things my Thoughts have greatly ruminated on through the week and by bearing home instruction
finds to please and to obey him in all his preceptive Commands and that his Experience of Free-Grace no ways tend to a Licentious Life Whatever the Notional Knowledge of Free-Grace may do amongst those who know nothing of a real Faith and experience of God's Grace in their Soul and where unstrictness and unholiness of life appears in the greatest Zealot for Free Grace it savours of nothing more than its Notion in their Brain Again the Experiencing Christian finds that when he sets himself to be most diligent to perform Good Works and Religious Duties yet in the first he is often overtaken with faults and in the latter constant failures â—â—â—ur wandering Thoughts therein discomposure of Mind from some disquiet falling in before or some suggestion from Satan or corruption within rising up at the time which forces the Soul to lay by trust to Self-sufficiency and to have recourse to the Free-Grace of God in Christ that through his Divine Spirit supplies may be conveyed enabling of us to do Works though our own yet perform'd by Christ's supplies enabling of us and accepted from us thorough his Merits perfuming them that being our alone argument to obtain both for the sake of the multitude of his tender Mercies the opening and pouring forth of which we owe to our Blessed Redeemer who has remov'd the flaming Sword and given us access to the Throne of Free-Grace but still in the use of the blessed mean of Prayer And I think it more a Soul 's concern to try the Truth of access to the Throne of Grace by Prayer in our own endeavour and observation if return'd that being a mean of obtaining of Prayer in Christ's Strength than before the trial of Prayer to pursue first the Knowledge whether Justification be previously necessary before access to this Grace as is set down in the first verse of the fifth chapter of the Romans Alas While we are a striving which things go first we are in danger of missing all while we are debating about the Notions of Religion we suffer the Truths of God in their Experience to drop Oh that our Debates were more at home with our inward Corruption sighting it with the continued use of means capable by Christ's Strength meeting us in them to overcome it and to fructifie Grace in its room and less with our fellow Christians unless in point of strict and Holy Lives Christianity needs no other bulwark from us than the true plain meaning of Scripture-truth and putting Souls in the use of such Means as God conveys the experience in and where the power of Christianity is felt let him be Church of England or Dissenter under all its Subdivisions he becomes the Object of my love because of the Impression the Divine Spirit seems to have stamp'd upon him Of their being such we may easily have discovery in discourse one with another and that without any extraordinary gift of discerning However others think of this Gospel-priviledge there is such a difference between the Nature of Notional and Experienc'd Christianity between the way and words of a meer Notional Professor though never so outwardly strict and of an experiencing Christian that to my self I find not the least difficulty And it is greatly suitable to the forecited Text in the Hebrews where it is said That it is the priviledge of grown Christians to discern good and evil and these Christians are such who have grown thereto by use and experience And where I can discover nothing of this whatever Party he is of let his Notions and Zeal in spreading them fly never so high I am always afraid that the Motive of Self bears too much room in his witnessing for God and his Truth Let all therefore be reprov'd who set up Variance with those that bear Christ's Image upon their Hearts and Lives and only differ in their Notions and Conceptions about the Truths of God Let Holy Lives and Acquaintance in Conversation with their experiencing Christianity in their Souls be the Touchstone of trying and esteeming them By the denying familiarity with such upon such differences you pinch the great evidence of loving the Brethren and shew to the world that such an one is laid aside or introduc'd to your Favour from having a name of being one of such a Party and so give occasion of producing Proselites in profession to such a Party to obtain interest and encourage thereby others to ridicule Christianity because of such Professors blemishes through the want of Christianity's power in their Souls though these inward enjoyments into which observation of outward Providences lead as a mean are incomprehensible by the prophane and meer Professor while in that state yet they are outward passages greatly discovering God bringing forth good where all evil is ominous if observ'd by meer Professors It is experimentally known that a passage of Providence dark and afflicting in its first approach has many times had in its bosom a rich mercy There is a known passage of one who broke his Leg in his Journey to go a Ship-board a dark and afflicting Providence both by reason of his breaking his Leg and the disappointment of his Voyage but in its bosom was that great mercy of saving his life the Ship being lost in which he was to have gone It is not long ago since a Wind hindring our Fleet to go forth was afflicting but in it was that great mercy of the preventing of a French Invasion such passages the prophane and meer Professor cannot dive into and if each were but observant of such like they would be reckon'd by Millions round Nations and People and all with a discovery of God the Governor of all things and would help us against repining for disappointments and advance a reliance upon him in all things by committing them to a Divine Conduct by Prayer and diligently using means providentially laid in our ways Again Is it not known with experimental Christians that the Lord many times introduces a rich spiritual mercy by a dark Providence a spiritual instruction for their establishment by an afflicting Providence It has oft been their experience to be brought under an outward disquiet on purpose to free them from a cold lazy frame of mind and to introduce a sweet heavenly posture of Soul who therefore from continued observation of this experience will not forbear repining and exercise patience till the discovery of God's design therein appears yea work together with him for the same end by addressing the Lord for strength to stand firm in the exercise of reliance and love to him which greatly establishes the Soul in the exercise of these Graces and therein honours God and is even met many times with a visible reward suited to that particular Action tho' performed by his own Divine strength the observation whereof has oft brought that Scripture to my thoughts Psal 31. Great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee which thou hast wrought for them
mock at such words as too familiar and inconsistent with the greatness of that Majesty we approach unto in Prayer not knowing experimentally the Mercy of God as well as his Power the Wisdom of God in expressing his own Mysterious Truths by Words inferiour to the Mysteries but proportioned to our weaknesses as well as the condescending steps of God with a poor guilty Creature in first planting Grace in the Soul and I am confident not knowing experimentally what a heavenly frame in Prayer is for then when the Soul is in a ravishing spiritual posture words of this kind are forc'd to drop from their Mouths and there is more satisfaction in the Soul and greater acceptance with God from a familiar style to him influenc'd by his Divine Spirit than from a whole Prayer of another where distance appears either from the words fine style therein or length of Prayer but unspiritually perform'd Yea from this very principle of Education there are some who have an outward sincerity and from thence an inward satisfaction in their Profession with a resting in their knowledge and practice as all the Religion to be obtain'd with good hopes of their state for Heaven without ever doubting either their profession or security for Heaven There are others under the power of Education alone who tho' unspiritual in their Minds in Prayer yet upon any failure of their set times are really uneasie and dissatisfied especially the breach of their continued custom And as it is for these my concern is greatly put forth so it is with those that many times greatest difficulty is to reclaim It is well known how deeply are fixt the Impressions of Education and that nothing but a spiritual working of Christ's Spirit is able to blot them out or to impress them a-new upon which very account Childrens Education with true Notions of the Christian Religion can never enough pay their Obligation to such Instructors it being an excellent preparation for renewing the practical impressions of the same Notions upon their Hearts as well as upon their Brains In a word Religion is between God and the Soul and according to the heavenliness or un-heavenliness of the Temper and frame of the Soul so a thought word or action in Duties or out of Duties is either acceptable or unacceptable to God Before therefore you leave off the Errors of Education to a right notion and performance of Prayer you are first of all to be convinced of what is Erroneous and then of what is True and Right First Therefore a laying too great a weight upon a particular place for the performance of Prayer is an error of Education I know there are some so strictly addicted to Prayer in a Church that neither earliness nor lateness will obstruct their Custom herein as if it were a circumstance material in God's account It is not against Prayer in a Church that I set my self to oppose but the great stress some from Education are pleas'd to lay upon it I do believe that if others were as painful to bring their Minds into a serious posture as these are by retrenching their natural Rest in a morning retiring themselves from Diversion through a day or at an evening to have their Bodies in the Church at the times Prayer would be better known and much more pursued in its right performance than at this day For my own part if my Soul be right with God it is neither to House or Church I affix my self but the place I can be most private in either from the diverting sight of others or their discomposing noise and if I have opportunity of choice no place is more grateful to me than that in which I have had greatest enjoyments of God in Prayer Privacy I greatly value from an unwillingness to expose my self to the Censure of Shew and Applause or a Prayer acceptably performed to the mocking of some finding it impossible to restrain my self from more than ordinary flood of words and from a more than ordinary audible voice when the LORD is pleas'd to raise my affections above my ordinary frame The reason of chusing a place favour'd with God's presence to my Soul is that the memorial thereof may excite the greater endeavour after it and former Experiences may be one of my pleading Arguments for it This is abundantly suitable to the example of David who would often say Psal 42.6 That he remembred the hill Hermon-Missar and other places which were remarkable to him from the rich entertainment of God's presence in them from all which I drive only thither to make you know how little the consideration of Place Prayer is performed in avails in God's account or comforts the Christian's Soul within whatever customary performance or outward applause afford Privacy is recommended from Christ's own example who would retire to the Fields on that very account yea part then from his own Disciples and constant Companions And truly the more serious a Soul is the more willing to be from all and to center all his thoughts upon his dear God If therefore any labour under this failure of Education let me advise against it unless on the account of better performance of Prayer and because I hope there are some who on this very account give strict example thereof let me advise all from censuring such an Action the doing of it for a greater meetness for fellowship with God in Prayer makes it a Circumstance congruous to a well-perform'd Duty but the Circumstance of pleading for it in Conversation and fixing it upon others from a liking of the way argues it rather an Error of Education than a Circumstance experienc'd in themselves helping forward their seriousness with God for though to some it may have this advantage yet to my self it could not have the seeing of any before or with me in any performance of private Prayer proving many times visible hindrances Secondly A laying too great weight upon punctual keeping of set-times to pray is an Error of Education There are many in no other state of Christianity than that of its meer Profession and outward Acts of Worship who with marvellous strictness perform the set-times of Morning and Evening-Prayer purely from the Rule of Education but still at a loss what communion and fellowship with God in Prayer means I accuse not their praying at set-times but Professors confidence therein as evidence of their religious state or their Prayers right performance David's set-times of Prayer are instanced in his Book of Psalms and I hope there is not any experiencing Christian on earth at this day who slights their appointed seasons of private Prayer to supplicate the Lord's conduct from morning till night and from evening to morning yea by observation of continued Mercies through the day are kept in a posture of Soul fitted to ejaculate Praise and by observation of continual Wants fitted to ejaculate Supplication throughout the whole course of the day and so kept in obedience to that Divine
injoying what is Petition'd from God but in Conversation I find their observation as too narrow and confined looking upon that that may be a Christian's common Food in the close continuance in the means of Grace as an extraordinary Feast and minding it mostly concerning the recovery or the dying of Friends and not extending it to all things hoping the life or fearing the death of one from a Minister's pouring forth his Soul or from a private Christian's fervent address to God or the constraint of both It makes me remember how extraordinarily amazing and delightful such Experiences were when at first observ'd by me in the more tender days of my Knowledge in Experimental Christianity and makes me greatly afraid that however notional Knowledge abound amongst Ministers and People that have liv'd so many years under Gospel Instruction yet Heart-Service to God in the performance of Duties or at least strict continuance therein especially this delightful Duty of private Prayer is not so common and so the Enjoyments that follow are less and seldomer experienc'd But to this real and comfortable Experience of Enlargement in Prayer concerning the recovery of Friends that is more observ'd by Christians let me give you two cautionary Instructions from my own Experience therein and of which some observing Christians are not at the pains to remark concerning this Enlargement in Prayer First of all Not peremptorily to hope the recovery of a Friend from once observing your selves or others carried out in a heavenly manner in Prayer concerning them and tho' answerable to this once observ'd spirituality appear some real amendment at the time yet often without the continuance of Prayer thus spiritual their amendment falls off and suitable to their omission of further Praying thus their Friend Dies unless God act in a stream of more than ordinarily condescention to weak Christians I know not but the Reliance upon the Evidence of one Prayer spiritually put up for a Person 's Recovery may occasion carelesness in the Duty afterward and so hinder the obtaining the blessing that was thought to be coming to us I remember a Holy Christian who was in great Thoughtfulness concerning the Recovery of his Wife for whom he had so near access to God in Prayer that he had great hopes of her life but she dying gave him some more concern of Thought that he should hope on so good ground and yet be mistaken whereas his near access to God in Prayer was but once experienc'd his Eye was upon the frame of his Soul in Prayer and not upon the Words utter'd while under this Divine Influence His omission of continuing thus to Pray hindered him from clearer discovery of God's Ways His missing the observation of his Words rendered him incapable of applying the return to what God helped him to Ask to wit God's love to her Soul greatly manifested in her passage hence At this very time I can instance in a Child for whom I found great spirituality in Prayer but without the least appearance of amendment for a fourth night's time which seem'd to oppose all former Experience and might have occasion'd great mistake if I had not recorded my words as well as frame in Prayer spiritually perform'd which were centered in one Petition without the least deviating from it throughout the whole fourth night That the Lord would spare his life and that his life might be precious in his sight without the least inter-mixture of desire or word in Prayer for Health or Recovery When a Prayer spiritually put up is remarkt as such and corresponded with a return of amendment but followed with after-laziness and forbearance of the same diligence no wonder the return stopt and a contrary effect to what was desir'd or imminent appear If therefore your heavenly frame in petitioning Health or the like be once observ'd and continued in I never knew such petitions return to fail but if this frame be obtain'd but once and afterward it go off you 'll undoubtedly find amendment answerable to the time of having strength spiritually to petition it but such a frame going off either thorough the intermission of your own endeavour after or God's with-holding it nothing else but disappointment to your expectation and desire and justly to your dependance upon once experiencing the frame falls out It is laziness in the right performance of means and not continuing therein that keeps off the many experiences of inward Religion or occasions the mistakes that abounds concerning the great things of inward Religion however some satisfie themselves with the ill usage of that Proposition God's ways are in the depth It is from multitudes of instances experienc'd that if the Soul be carried forth in Prayer for any Friend ill that suitable thereto there is many times visible hopes but if this frame is not continu'd in the Friend does decline and die I know that once feeling this hopeful frame has made some Christians lazy and secure and not by serious Address afterward lay themselves in God's way to obtain the continuance of this frame and so their Health and Life has gone To conclude thence That return is not always suited to spirituality of frame is mistake and erroneous and evidence of your lazy unexactness in observation of God with the Soul Right observation hereof would discover condescending Mercy in God on purpose to keep the Christian continually holding on that Duty of Prayer till the final determination issu'd which meets commonly with great reward tho' the continuance and spirituality of Prayer continued in be his own work in the Soul A second Cautionary Instruction is Not to be peremptory in judging the spirituality of another man's Frame or an Event answerable thereto but to be strict and diligent in judging your own Frame and Events consequential to it I would advise great carefulness in judging another man's spirituality in Prayer as presaging of certain return answerable to the spirituality supposed in his Frame 1. First Because of the difficulty of judging another man's heart in Prayer It requires exactness of Observation to raise a Christian to the capacity of knowing his own Frame when spiritual or to raise him to an establishment in the reality of Correspondency between his Prayer's spirituality and its certain return but how can we be sure of another man's heavenliness I have known many under no other knowledge of Christianity than what is Notional acquainted with no other power in performing Duties than that of Education and Self-strength and yet pray with that sense distinctness and outwardly appearing heavenliness that the Hearers have been affected with a good hope of the person and a delightful thought of their spiritual seriousness in Prayer yea the strength of natural parts in the exercise of Prayer may heat the affections and may persuade a person and others that he prays in the Holy Ghost If therefore you may hear a Prayer from a meer Professor so near resembling a Christian's Prayer influenced by Christ's Spirit
his own strength could afford yet he shall not attain that height of free utterance so Heavenly a Style or so familiar and near an approach to God in Prayer as sometimes suddenly in the twinkling of an Eye he shall be brought to and that by the blowings afresh of Christ's Divine Influences I have my self while under no other power than that of Education stood in a maze to hear Ministers express Communion with God in Duties the Influences of Christ's Spirit and the like imagining these as words chosen to set off Religion and to make it the more amiable to Souls till experience discover'd the reality thereof and since the discovery thereof to my self I have often with great concern of Soul heard Christ's Spirit mockt at Emanations and Influences from him so ridiculed that I could not but exercise Compassion comparing their Words to my own Thoughts while under the same circumstance of ignorance of Experimental Religion and the inward power of Christianity no less instruction being capable of illuminating such dark Minds than what is an emanation and influence of that Spirit so revil'd and set at nought in their Thoughts such a one and the Creature setting Christ in his Divine Nature at nought I place in the same Categorical line To this Fifth Experience I subjoin the following instance of an Undertaking where the Eyes Hands and Wishes of many were against me and no probable hope of success in a rational way but what I had from the marvellous frame of Soul and near access to God concerning it and like a Miracle the use of means obtain'd and the desired end was brought forth Here I subjoin the Experience of humble Awe and Fear always attending the clearest Heavenly frame and most satisfied quiet of Mind I ever had concerning any one thing confidence looking to me too much ominous of somewhat of Satan and commonly proves a mean of security and of less diligence in petitioning Heaven and depending upon God than when the Soul has an humble Awe going along with its erperience of God's approach to its Soul A Sixth Experience of God's Spirit carrying forth the Soul to Petition according to what God was to bestow was not only by changing of the Souls frame concerning any one Event but even by changing the verbal Petitions in the change of circumstances in the same thing As for instance At the first discovery of my inward change my words in Prayer for any undertaking would run upon its success and hardly upon the use of means to which the condescention of my Heavenly Father complied by numerous and continual returns of success tho' my endeavours at my first acquaintance with and observation of God's Ways were not so exact but upon further knowledge of his ways and greater progress and reliance upon God for conduct to the use and right use of means then my words were chang'd running out in Prayer after Divine Assistance in the performance of Duty resigning the issue to his Will answerable to which a more diligent watch over my self in the use of means and the less anxiety concerning the event appeared an experience greatly helping the Soul against mistaking God or themselves when his Ways run not in the same stream towards them their advancement in strength being gradual and many times according to the different steps of growth in Grace so God walks in different steps round them requiring a constant observation of his ways admiring their variety and bringing forth suitable improvement of knowledge of God love to him and dependance upon him How infinite therefore is the Wisdom of our Blessed God who knows the various Constitutions and the things their Thoughts are most fixt to that his breathing Divine Influence thereupon may be his readier mean to bring them to a serious discovery of God and their selves thereby How infinite is the Wisdom Love and Tenderness of our blessed Husband-man in the gradual growth of all the young tender Branches in his Vineyard and in training up his Babes in the first knowledge of him feeding the one with Milk and the other with Meat knowing well what each stand in need of and can bear either of his Smiles or correcting Stripes ordering each by degrees to the perfecting of Grace in the Soul and making it mete for Eternal Glory The Experience whereof helps the Soul to answer the Objection of some serious Christians but not exact Observers who will reply upon imparting a particular method of God with a Soul by way of caution You must be careful not to depend upon that particular way God acts with you in lest Satan make it a temptation to unbelief and distrust of God and your selves when he shall please to walk in another road with your Soul but general and strict Observers find God's Ways to be thus That according to the infancy or manhood of the Soul in Christianity or according to the different steps of advancing the Soul towards this Manhood so God's Ways to be various and according to his different ends so his courses leading thereto usually to be different marvellous argument indeed of infinite Wisdom Love and Compassion in our great God! instruction enough to make us stand off from prescribing methods according to our Inclinations or Expectations but instruction to keep our selves close in the observation of his Ways in continual Prayer for a sight of his design and the obtaining the establishment of Faith tho' the method of God be never so various with us Hereto relates my Experience of God with my own Soul that according to the beginnings and progress of my Faith of Reliance so God's Method has varied for while in the beginning of this Trust to God I think I may say That never a Prayer Spiritually perform'd wanted its return immediately and that exactly suitable to my words in Prayer but upon further strength of this Grace of Reliance upon God I have found the return of my Prayer longer defer'd yea sometimes to the last pinch of extremity but still answerable to the frame of Soul and Words utter'd in Prayer when this frame and utterance were above my own strength thorough Divine Influence argument enough of Divine Wisdom adapting his various Ways to the various Circumstances of his Childrens weakness and strength of Divine Love establishing their Trust to himself and trying their Reliance upon him as a comfortable evidence of that strength of Grace and thereby to lead them to the Sacrifice of continual Praise Admiration and Love to him How different was Christ's carriage to the Leper from his acting with the Woman of Canaan whose Faith far exceeded the other The Leper much weaker in Faith had the return of his Prayer immediately but she much stronger in Faith has the return greatly defer'd with the intermixture of many trying passages of Christ with his own silence to her own Petition and with his calling her a Dog as if she were unworthy to be taken notice of much less to receive of
his Children's food Mercies in answer to Prayer The Lord knew her strength and adapted his way of tryal thereto which issued in Honour to him and evidence to her self of the greatness of her Faith When Christ saw Peter's Faith as a Rock to build his Church upon he then tells him of the Sufferings to attend him and all that would follow after Christ his Faith being gradually brought up to such a strength enabled him to bear this report which perhaps in the beginning might have discouraged him to follow Christ or his Rules when therefore we are as Moses we may be kept six days on the Mount before the answer of Prayer comes Gen. c. 24. Let us therefore admire God's Wisdom and Love in first planting or further carrying on Grace in the Soul Let us be instructed not to limit God to any one way in converting or further perfecting a gracious Soul but let us keep in the use of all God's means with the observation of his various ways of Providence and Spirit established upon his Divine Word and experience in our Souls that so we may be confirm'd in the depth the length and height of the Love of God not only by a Faith wrought and kept in the Soul but by an evident sense thereof experimentally felt not yielding to that lazy excuse of the danger of fathoming him tho' we cannot find God out to Perfection yet we may comprehend much more of his ways than we do to keep us in continual admiration and praise of his Love making our life the nearer to resemble the work of Saints above not suffering his Ways to lie still in the depth without Record thereof or Reflection thereupon a method which might greatly prevent the many Fears that many gracious Souls meet with in their way and by which they dishonour God before the Wicked that by knowing their own Wants and God's Method of supplying them might be remedi'd A Sixth Experience of the Spirit of God's breathing upon the Soul in Prayer and of its correspondency to the certain return thereof was That according to my Morning's frame in giving up my self so has my frame continued thorough the day but most remarkably thus on a Sabbath-Day wherein I have found that my frame in hearing a Sermon has greatly answer'd to the frame of my Morning 's private Address to Heaven with that exactness that I could never observe or set it upon record without great amazement Herein mistake me not as if I passed my day without any other Address resting upon the comfortable experience of good frame in my Morning's Prayer but upon all occurrences throughout the day my supplication has been repeated my method being never to attempt any Service Civil or Spiritual without Address to God for conduct therein and when opportunity of set Prayer is deny'd the same Spirituality in Ejaculation and that correspondent to return is experienc'd confirming the truth of God's acceptance of the Spirit 's helping the Soul to groans not to be utter'd when the Soul in Meditation is under such a Heavenly Thoughtfulness to God as is impossible for it to utter I could set down numerous instances of God's acceptance of Prayer put up before entring into Company with freedom from Quarrel or Disquiet and when Disquiet of any kind has accompanied me I have found it at such a time when my Soul has been out of frame or my Addresses to God before my entring the Society has been neglected Who would not therefore advise me to rest upon God and to Petition him for all things and to have all things conveyed to me with a sight of his special Providence in it and as a return to Prayer for it that when my passage through this Wilderness is at end I may not enter unto an unknown God who has been a Father by his special conduct of Providence a Husbandman by the workings of his Divine Spirit my alone Friend to whom I have put up all my Requests and from whom I have receiv'd all the supplies of wants and that in a way of Communion with him neither to an unknown work but that of which I have had some foretaste in the use of Observation Prayer solemn and ejaculatory and Meditation admiring of God manifested and praising his Name for the experienc'd discovery of himself A Seventh Experience of Christ's Spirit exciting to Prayer and interceding with us in Prayer with the certain correspondency thereof by a return of that Prayer thus perform'd to God has been by putting words in my Mouth as well as Spirituality in the frame of my Mind and that suddenly unpremeditated yea sometimes contrary to matter and words design'd To clear this Experience I will give you amongst many instances the following one concerning a Friend's Distraction in a Fever for whom my design was to Petition God for his recovery but was carried out in Prayer and that powerfully too altogether for the return of their Reason without ever being able to ask one Petition for the abatement and removal of their Fever upon inquiry I found their Distraction gone off but the Fever remaining the same the return of their Reason exactly answering the time of the Supplication for it Another instance of this Experience was Concerning another Friend for whose Hâ—alth I had design'd to Petition God but found my Words in my Address to God strongly diverted from Petition to Praise blessing his Name for what he had done and that without any foreknowledge of amendment or probable reason to expect it but what I had from this powerful sudden and undesign'd utterance in Prayer Another instance of the same kind I very lately had concerning a Friend's beloved and only Child for whom I found in my self great and amazing freedom of Utterance and that by way of Praise tho' my design was to Petition God concerning it having all humane probability to expect its Death After the Experience of this Utterance in Prayer I was kept in the dark till at least ten days and then had the account of its recovery yea of its great amendment answerable to the time of the Utterance of Praising being strictly curious in the observation of the circumstance of time that none of these marvellous Experiences might afford the least doubting in their enjoyment but obtain a clear reception thereof and produce the greater establishment therein in the Soul Another instance of the Seventh Experience was Concerning some with whom I have had to do in matters of concern but at a distance from me and without any other opportunity of hearing the proceedings or success of endeavours than by Letter I have found that tho' I have design'd before the coming in of the Post to supplicate for a good account yet have not been able to say any thing at all concerning the matter answerable to which no Letter has come or other Petitions and Words concerning the matter has been Spiritually darted up to Heaven than was design'd correspondent to which the