exile_n for_o the_o friendship_n of_o relation_n at_o norwell_n and_o southwell_n i_o be_o there_o beg_a pardon_n for_o sinful_a compliance_n as_o in_o sit_v late_o in_o a_o alehouse_n in_o southwell_n where_o the_o company_n be_v health_v it_o about_o though_o bless_v be_v the_o lord_n i_o drink_v not_o much_o yet_o i_o be_v a_o bad_a example_n in_o sit_v and_o sip_v with_o the_o wicked_a in_o waste_v my_o precious_a time_n my_o prayer_n therefore_o be_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v pardon_v that_o and_o continue_v mercy_n and_o give_v i_o a_o thankful_a heart_n in_o and_o a_o lively_a sense_n of_o divine_a goodness_n the_o 20_o be_v the_o sabbath-day_n through_o mercy_n i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o pretty_a good_a frame_n of_o spirit_n and_o take_v particular_a notice_n in_o my_o diary_n of_o mr._n coats_n subject_n which_o be_v come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n etc._n etc._n i_o there_o find_v a_o desire_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v work_v those_o truth_n more_o and_o 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passion_n that_o upon_o such_o account_n i_o use_v to_o be_v prone_a to_o my_o experience_n again_o there_o record_v of_o god_n gracious_a appearance_n for_o i_o 26_o mercy_n there_o again_o take_v notice_n of_o in_o the_o lord_n be_v deliver_v i_o from_o trouble_n and_o a_o petition_n that_o if_o it_o be_v the_o lord_n will_n i_o may_v be_v preserve_v from_o enter_v into_o bond_n which_o i_o and_o all_o my_o friend_n do_v believe_v will_v be_v very_o ensnare_a to_o i_o there_o i_o find_v sin_n bewail_v and_o lay_v heavy_a upon_o my_o conscience_n 27_o manifestation_n make_v of_o deliverance_n still_o from_o danger_n i_o there_o bless_v god_n i_o be_o still_o at_o liberty_n and_o hear_v nothing_o from_o the_o d._n of_o n._n of_o enter_v into_o those_o bond_n he_o require_v i_o then_o hear_v of_o dr._n temple_n execution_n and_o take_v notice_n of_o distinguish_a mercy_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v take_v and_o i_o leave_v who_o through_o man_n rage_n and_o wrath_n be_v in_o danger_n i_o there_o bless_v god_n i_o be_v not_o the_o man._n 27_o i_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o many_o comfortable_a sabbath_n that_o i_o have_v enjoy_v since_o i_o come_v home_o without_o fear_n or_o disturbance_n cousin_n billingsley_n preach_v here_o from_o these_o word_n commune_fw-la with_o your_o own_o heart_n which_o much_o affect_v i_o 28_o a_o like_a account_n as_o to_o mercy_n and_o i_o remember_v no_o actual_a sin_n that_o day_n 29_o the_o like_a account_n with_o my_o experience_n that_o god_n have_v bless_v the_o mean_n i_o have_v use_v for_o the_o cure_n of_o a_o cold_a that_o hold_v i_o 8_o of_o october_n 1685_o this_o day_n i_o return_v from_o lincoln_n where_o i_o have_v be_v some_o time_n and_o take_v notice_n the_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o very_a comfortable_a journey_n no_o sad_a providence_n occur_v in_o the_o journey_n i_o be_o yet_o deliver_v from_o enemy_n notwithstanding_o their_o rage_n and_o threaten_v and_o from_o the_o ensnare_a bond_n i_o beg_v then_o of_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v continue_v this_o mercy_n and_o give_v i_o to_o live_v a_o thankful_a holy_a humble_a and_o fruitful_a life_n and_o pardon_v the_o particular_a sin_n of_o this_o day_n and_o help_v i_o against_o it_o and_o to_o perform_v promise_v make_v under_o my_o affliction_n 9th_o i_o there_o bless_v god_n for_o the_o mercy_n of_o that_o day_n and_o beg_v pardon_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v cause_v i_o to_o live_v better_o the_o next_o day_n 10_o my_o sin_n stare_v i_o in_o the_o face_n be_v many_o and_o great_a there_o i_o find_v myself_o beg_v that_o i_o may_v eye_v the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o might_n through_o grace_n be_v interest_v in_o it_o be_v the_o only_a sovereign_a remedy_n for_o a_o poor_a sinner_n yet_o i_o be_o preserve_v from_o enshare_a bond_n and_o enjoy_v through_o mercy_n comfortable_a liberty_n and_o sit_v under_o my_o own_o vine_n with_o delight_n 11_o this_o i_o find_v a_o comfortable_a sabbath_n when_o mr._n coat_n do_v most_o sweet_o call_v invite_v and_o encourage_v sinner_n to_o come_v to_o christ_n o_o that_o i_o may_v not_o stand_v out_o the_o lord_n bless_v the_o sermon_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o pardon_v my_o sin_n 12_o no_o actual_a sin_n that_o i_o know_v of_o i_o this_o day_n beg_v direction_n from_o heaven_n about_o the_o oath_n of_o allegiance_n i_o and_o other_o in_o my_o family_n be_v call_v to_o take_v and_o next_o day_n i_o do_v take_v it_o have_v observe_v no_o intimation_n from_o the_o lord_n against_o it_o but_o be_v well_o satisfy_v about_o it_o beside_o i_o fear_v if_o i_o refuse_v it_o will_v be_v worse_o with_o we_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o our_o meeting_n which_o i_o do_v desire_v to_o keep_v up_o i_o beg_v the_o lord_n will_v enable_v i_o to_o keep_v the_o oath_n be_v take_v as_o a_o sacred_a thing_n i_o be_o yet_o at_o liberty_n and_o free_a from_o ensnare_a bond_n 15_o i_o that_o day_n beg_v the_o lord_n will_v humble_v i_o under_o any_o thing_n of_o sin_n that_o may_v be_v in_o my_o swear_v and_o take_v the_o oath_n the_o day_n before_o 16_o this_o day_n mr._n h._n acquaint_v i_o that_o one_o do_v say_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v lie_v heavy_a upon_o i_o that_o i_o be_v to_o give_v a_o security_n by_o bond_n of_o 7000_o l._n which_o will_v ask_v a_o great_a time_n for_o i_o to_o get_v and_o that_o i_o be_v only_a capt._n l_n prisoner_n at_o large_a well_o i_o find_v this_o hint_n in_o my_o diary_n that_o day_n that_o i_o can_v trust_v my_o god_n who_o have_v deliver_v i_o and_o that_o he_o will_v deliver_v i_o still_o from_o the_o fury_n and_o rage_n of_o man_n and_o the_o effect_n thereof_o 17_o this_o day_n i_o have_v a_o encourage_v letter_n from_o v._o l._n as_o if_o the_o duke_n have_v do_v with_o i_o which_o i_o beg_v then_o the_o lord_n will_v grant_v and_o enable_v i_o to_o live_v up_o to_o so_o great_a a_o mercy_n for_o several_a other_o day_n after_o i_o be_o blessing_n god_n for_o the_o comfortable_a and_o quiet_a abode_n in_o my_o house_n and_o petition_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v keep_v i_o from_o sin_v away_o such_o mercy_n 20_o waste_v time_n the_o great_a sin_n acknowledge_v this_o day_n and_o a_o petition_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v please_v to_o make_v i_o more_o active_a and_o diligent_a in_o soul-concerns_a every_o day_n as_o be_v every_o day_n near_o death_n 22d_o this_o day_n i_o observe_v from_o joh._n 7._o 44._o in_o my_o read_n this_o passage_n some_o of_o they_o will_v have_v take_v he_o but_o no_o man_n lay_v hand_n on_o he_o upon_o which_o mr._n baxter_n have_v this_o note_n god_n binder_n bad_a man_n from_o do_v what_o they_o will_v do_v and_o they_o know_v not_o how_o he_o do_v it_o i_o have_v have_v great_a experience_n of_o this_o myself_o the_o lord_n be_v praise_v 25_o this_o day_n god_n make_v a_o very_a comfortable_a sabbath_n to_o i_o and_o i_o trust_v will_v do_v my_o soul_n good_a by_o it_o and_o set_v home_o another_o sermon_n i_o then_o hear_v from_o mr._n cotes_n concern_v the_o ease_n of_o christ_n yoke_n i_o be_o yet_o through_o mercy_n continue_v in_o my_o family_n in_o peace_n and_o safety_n enjoy_v distinguish_a mercy_n and_o love_n god_n help_v i_o to_o make_v a_o right_a use_n of_o it_o and_o still_o restrain_v man_n that_o they_o do_v not_o hurt_v i_o and_o enable_v i_o to_o give_v thou_o the_o glory_n of_o that_o mercy_n thou_o please_v to_o give_v i_o the_o comfort_n of_o 26_o this_o day_n i_o be_v at_o cos_n r_n funeral_n the_o lord_n prepare_v i_o for_o my_o change_n i_o come_v from_o thence_o over_o a_o dangerous_a way_n in_o safety_n 27_o god_n have_v this_o day_n preserve_v
want_v and_o can_v come_v but_o here_o must_v stay_v and_o die_v answer_n i_o grant_v o_o soul_n it_o be_v faith_n alone_o that_o great_a unite_n grace_n by_o which_o thou_o must_v lay_v hold_v of_o christ_n the_o want_n of_o it_o be_v thy_o case_n well_o faith_n be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n thou_o know_v who_o bid_v thou_o believe_v and_o true_a repentance_n he_o must_v give_v or_o thou_o can_v never_o live_v well_o come_v sinner_n come_v away_o be_v always_o of_o this_o mind_n thou_o must_v both_o knock_v and_o call_v and_o seek_v if_o mercy_n thou_o will_v find_v lord_n mercy_n lord_n o_o poor_a soul_n cry_v thy_o mercy_n lord_n i_o crave_v or_o here_o i_o die_v in_o misery_n it_o be_v mercy_n i_o must_v have_v i_o do_v believe_v help_v unbelief_n my_o hold_n of_o christ_n i_o will_v keep_v if_o run_v i_o can_v after_o thou_o lord_n after_o thou_o i_o will_v creep_v then_o welcome_o sinner_n unto_o christ_n though_o come_v for_o a_o dole_n this_o faith_n though_o weak_a yet_o save_v 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o_o i_o be_o full_o now_o convince_v if_o happy_a i_o will_v be_v i_o must_v away_o to_o jesus_n christ_n my_o loit'r_a ruin_n i_o object_n but_o when_o i_o come_v the_o devil_n call_v whither_o away_o so_o fast_o thou_o can_v no_o entertainment_n have_v with_o christ_n thy_o time_n be_v past_a thou_o be_v not_o one_o of_o those_o alas_o for_o who_o he_o shed_v his_o blood_n nor_o be_v thou_o a_o elect_a one_o stay_v here_o it_o be_v as_o good_a soul_n nay_o but_o i_o will_v try_v and_o hasten_v in_o o_o that_o i_o will_v go_v before_o and_o if_o i_o can_v entrance_n have_v i_o will_v wait_v at_o heaven_n door_n but_o yet_o methinks_v thy_o fierce_a assault_n encouragement_n do_v give_v if_o i_o but_o go_v be_v it_o be_v receive_v and_o if_o i_o turn_v be_v it_o live_a the_o die_a soul_n last_o farewell_n to_o all._n farewell_o the_o world_n i_o once_o do_v love_n i_o now_o have_v learn_v to_o live_v above_o farewell_o my_o friend_n and_o welcome_a grave_n i_o better_a friend_n in_o heaven_n have_v farewell_o dear_a wife_n i_o can_v stay_v christ_n bid_v i_o come_v i_o must_v away_o farewell_o my_o body_n make_v of_o dust_n i_o must_v to_o he_o in_o who_o i_o trust_v farewell_o those_o sin_n i_o leave_v before_o i_o be_o go_v where_o i_o will_v sin_v no_o more_o and_o farewell_n trouble_v at_o decease_n in_o heaven_n will_v be_v perfect_a peace_n farewell_o my_o earthly_a house_n and_o land_n a_o house_n i_o will_v have_v not_o make_v with_o hand_n farewell_o all_o sorrow_n doleful_a cry_n in_o heaven_n be_v no_o weep_a eye_n nay_o farewell_o all_o my_o worldly_a stuff_n a_o single_a christ_n make_v rich_a enough_o to_o let_v all_o go_v be_v sure_o best_a to_o enter_v on_o eternal_a rest_n yet_o do_v not_o say_v that_o i_o be_o dead_a i_o be_o but_o undress_v and_o go_v to_o bed_n i_o be_o go_v you_o see_v yet_o do_v not_o cry_v meet_v i_o in_o heaven_n when_o you_o die_v the_o welcome_a to_o heaven_n god_n welcome_o my_o child_n to_o endless_a bliss_n heaven_n joy_n to_o see_v thou_o here_o fear_v not_o this_o be_v thy_o father_n house_n taste_v free_o heaven_n cheer_v when_o thou_o thy_o saviour_n do_v accept_v this_o jointure_n he_o thou_o make_v it_o be_v heaven_n he_o purchase_v for_o thou_o accept_v be_v not_o afraid_a but_o why_o ashamed_a poor_a soul_n come_v in_o now_o thou_o be_v arrive_v above_o thy_o soul_n be_v cleanse_v thy_o sin_n forget_v think_v now_o of_o nought_o but_o love_n spread_v out_o the_o cloth_n of_o rich_a gold_n his_o foot-cloth_n it_o shall_v be_v if_o he_o be_v dress_v then_o bring_v he_o forth_o he_o will_v keep_v i_o company_n come_v all_o that_o here_o attend_v my_o throne_n put_v on_o he_o best_o attire_n set_v on_o the_o crown_n that_o will_v out_o shine_v the_o clear_a flame_n of_o fire_n well_o bid_v he_o welcome_a to_o the_o court_n he_o be_v one_o of_o royal_a birth_n i_o must_v befriend_v he_o now_o he_o be_v here_o he_o be_v my_o friend_n on_o earth_n he_o leave_v the_o world_n whilst_o in_o the_o world_n do_v show_v whilst_o he_o have_v breath_n he_o love_v i_o above_o the_o world_n be_v faithful_a unto_o death_n soul_n a_o bride_n a_o child_n a_o wife_n a_o friend_n ragged_a yet_o adorn_v so_o soon_o my_o dunghil_n change_v for_o a_o throne_n my_o midnight_n turn_v to_o noon_n upon_o a_o deathbed_n i_o do_v lie_v and_o there_o do_v toss_v and_o turn_v my_o friend_n about_o i_o weep_v stand_v but_o here_o shall_v never_o mourn_v a_o hymn_n on_o isaiah_n 8._o 17._o and_o i_o will_v wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n that_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o the_o house_n of_o jacob_n and_o i_o will_v look_v for_o he_o my_o god_n be_v withdraw_v and_o hide_v his_o face_n i_o can_v choose_v but_o mourn_v yet_o still_o i_o will_v wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n and_o look_v for_o his_o return_n doctrine_n in_o verse_n sometime_o the_o lord_n not_o only_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o single_a saint_n but_o other_o while_n on_o this_o account_n whole_a church_n make_v complaint_n and_o when_o it_o be_v thus_o bewildered_a soul_n know'ng_v scarce_o what_o course_n to_o take_v but_o still_o they_o will_v pray_v and_o cry_v and_o call_v and_o after_o god_n will_v make_v i_o will_v seek_v the_o lord_n say_v such_o a_o soul_n and_o still_o upon_o he_o wait_v who_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o jacob_n house_n he_o will_v come_v though'_v come_n late_o a_o meditation_n upon_o matth._n 11._o 28_o 29_o 30._o come_v sinner_n come_v thy_o saviour_n call_v if_o penitent_a thou_o be_v and_o true_o weary_a of_o thy_o sin_n thou_o 'rt_v welcome_a soul_n to_o i_o take_v up_o my_o yoke_n for_o it_o be_v light_n account_v it_o always_o best_o to_o learn_v of_o one_o in_o who_o alone_o thou_o can_v have_v solid_a rest_n my_o burden_n easy_a you_o will_v find_v when_o you_o have_v learn_v of_o i_o to_o have_v a_o meek_a and_o lowly_a mind_n try_v sinner_n taste_n and_o see_v a_o poetical_a remembrance_n of_o the_o reverend_n mr._n john_n oak_n who_o die_v sudden_o be_v take_v with_o a_o apoplectic_a fit_a in_o his_o pulpit_n lord_n day_n decemb._n 23_o 1688._o with_o some_o hint_n of_o advice_n to_o survive_a relation_n compose_v and_o make_v by_o a_o true_a lover_n of_o he_o and_o he_o g._n d._n hark_v hark_v what_o mean_v the_o mournful_a look_n and_o cry_v the_o pensive_a bleed_a heart_n and_o blubber_a eye_n the_o throb_v the_o throw_n the_o sigh_n which_o do_v appear_v with_o sad_a complain_n almost_o every_o where_o why_o so_o much_o droop_v in_o a_o halcion-day_n when_o with_o loud_a acclamation_n we_o shall_v pay_v rather_o a_o tribute_n to_o our_o prince_n and_o peer_n who_o seasonable_o have_v rescue_v we_o from_o fear_n why_o so_o much_o sorrow_n now_o if_o needs_o must_v be_v occasion_v by_o some_o depth_n of_o misery_n i_o sigh_v to_o tell_v you_o yet_o be_o hereto_o force_v my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a it_o must_v have_v vent_n or_o burst_v great_a oak_n the_o famous_a preacher_n late_o dead_a have_v hardly_o time_n to_o undress_v to_o go_v to_o bed_n and_o he_o must_v senseless_a be_v who_o now_o forbear_v to_o speak_v with_o sorrow_n or_o to_o write_v in_o tear_n the_o heart_n be_v as_o hard_a as_o flint_n that_o can_v weep_v when_o such_o a_o one_o as_o oak_n be_v fall_v asleep_o sabbath_n be_v here_o unto_o he_o a_o delight_n and_o on_o that_o bless_a day_n he_o take_v his_o flight_n from_o earth_n to_o heaven_n where_o he_o ever_o sing_v high_a hallelujah_n to_o the_o king_n of_o king_n tho'_o call_v from_o sabbath_n here_o he_o will_v not_o debate_v that_o one_o eternal_a he_o may_v celebrate_v tho'_o warning_n short_a to_o go_v he_o
come_v to_o see_v my_o need_n of_o christ_n and_o to_o be_v satisfy_v that_o a_o single_a christ_n will_v be_v of_o more_o worth_n than_o ten_o thousand_o world_n and_o these_o be_v the_o text_n of_o scripture_n that_o do_v much_o revive_v i_o viz._n that_o christ_n jesus_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n and_o that_o the_o gospel-tenders_a of_o he_o be_v to_o such_o and_o that_o the_o covenant-term_n of_o salvation_n be_v attainable_a through_o assist_v grace_n isai_n 1._o 18._o come_v now_o let_v we_o reason_v together_o say_v the_o lord_n though_o your_o sin_n be_v as_o scarlet_n they_o shall_v be_v white_a as_o snow_n and_o though_o they_o be_v red_a as_o crimson_n they_o shall_v be_v as_o wool_n o_o what_o encouragement_n be_v here_o think_v i_o for_o i_o a_o sinner_n who_o though_o but_o young_a in_o year_n be_v yet_o old_a in_o sin_n and_o another_o encourage_v scripture_n i_o often_o think_v on_o be_v prov._n 28._o 13._o he_o that_o confess_v and_o forsake_v his_o sin_n shall_v find_v mercy_n and_o isai_n 55._o 7._o let_v the_o wicked_a for_o sake_n his_o way_n and_o the_o unrighteous_a man_n his_o thought_n and_o let_v he_o turn_v unto_o the_o lord_n and_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n upon_o he_o and_o to_o our_o god_n for_o he_o will_v abundant_o pardon_v i_o then_o to_o encourage_v my_o return_n to_o god_n and_o the_o forsake_v of_o my_o sin_n think_v of_o the_o great_a sinner_n that_o have_v obtain_v mercy_n such_o as_o manasseh_n mary_n magdalen_n and_o some_o of_o the_o very_a jew_n that_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o have_v murder_v the_o son_n of_o god_n yet_o through_o repentance_n and_o faith_n in_o christ_n many_o of_o they_o be_v pardon_v and_o save_v nay_o paul_n that_o eminent_a pattern_n of_o god_n free_a grace_n to_o great_a sinner_n and_o david_n and_o other_o of_o god_n dear_a child_n that_o have_v foul_o fall_v be_v encouragement_n to_o i_o a_o prodigal_n now_o to_o arise_v and_o go_v to_o my_o father_n now_o i_o begin_v to_o set_v upon_o a_o course_n of_o duty_n which_o when_o i_o find_v i_o be_v pretty_a strict_a in_o the_o performance_n of_o i_o begin_v too_o much_o to_o rest_v upon_o they_o now_o i_o be_v for_o believe_v but_o hardly_o know_v how_o to_o believe_v that_o christ_n die_v for_o sinner_n so_o as_o to_o throw_v myself_o and_o rest_v whole_o upon_o he_o and_o to_o think_v my_o tear_n and_o prayer_n and_o other_o duty_n will_v do_v i_o no_o good_a in_o point_n of_o justification_n when_o i_o have_v serve_v in_o my_o apprenticeship_n about_o four_o year_n my_o elder_a brother_n cornelius_n be_v dead_a some_o short_a time_n before_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v the_o city_n with_o the_o plague_n which_o begin_v in_o the_o street_n in_o which_o i_o live_v upon_o which_o my_o father_n prevail_v with_o my_o master_n to_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o retire_v into_o the_o country_n to_o he_o during_o that_o visitation_n according_o i_o come_v down_o in_o the_o year_n 1665_o to_o my_o father_n house_n then_o at_o swinder_n by_o and_o then_o begin_v other_o sin_n to_o appear_v in_o i_o as_o the_o product_n or_o remainder_n of_o corruption_n in_o my_o nature_n i_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o bewail_v and_o lament_v that_o proud_a garb_n i_o come_v from_o london_n in_o have_v i_o do_v believe_v expend_v as_o much_o for_o one_o suit_n of_o clothes_n as_o will_v have_v clothe_v complete_o 40_o poor_a servant_n of_o jesus_n christ_n for_o which_o equipage_n i_o contract_v much_o debt_n in_o london_n which_o my_o father_n after_o pay_v i_o have_v then_o so_o proud_a a_o humour_n that_o i_o think_v this_o dress_n tho'_o excessive_o gaudy_a be_v but_o suitable_a to_o my_o rank_n tho'_o alas_o much_o beyond_o it_o this_o vanity_n i_o can_v hardly_o think_v of_o without_o blush_v yet_o now_o live_v a_o idle_a life_n and_o be_v dreadful_o puff_v up_o with_o pride_n tho_o alas_o alas_o i_o have_v nothing_o in_o the_o world_n to_o be_v proud_a of_o but_o rather_o to_o be_v humble_v for_o i_o present_o be_v under_o temptation_n to_o think_v that_o i_o must_v now_o carry_v it_o out_o and_o live_v at_o the_o rate_n of_o my_o father_n elder_a son_n and_o not_o as_o mr._n oglethorp_n apprentice_n and_o servant_n now_o it_o be_v that_o though_o indeed_o i_o dare_v not_o much_o associate_n with_o wicked_a companion_n that_o be_v stranger_n though_o neighbour_n to_o i_o yet_o i_o do_v it_o too_o much_o with_o those_o that_o be_v relation_n and_o think_v that_o relation_n will_v justify_v that_o practice_n not_o consider_v the_o snare_n of_o it_o i_o there_o make_v too_o many_o sinful_a slip_v go_v often_o to_o norton_n and_o norwell_n where_o i_o meet_v with_o such_o company_n as_o have_v not_o freegrace_n sustain_v i_o have_v certain_o ruin_v i_o both_o as_o to_o my_o principle_n and_o practice_n there_o it_o be_v i_o fall_v to_o the_o practice_n of_o good_a fellowship_n most_o undeserved_o so_o call_v and_o then_o have_v be_v persuade_v to_o think_v that_o time_n well_o spend_v can_v sometime_o most_o wicked_o triumph_v in_o my_o ability_n to_o bear_v strong_a drink_n not_o consider_v the_o sad_a woe_n in_o scripture_n denounce_v against_o such_o at_o that_o time_n i_o learn_v to_o drink_v and_o game_n and_o smoke_n tobacco_n and_o trifle_n etc._n etc._n and_o spend_v by_o persuasion_n of_o other_o though_o my_o bad_a heart_n be_v most_o to_o blame_v not_o only_o day_n but_o night_n in_o those_o kind_n of_o excess_n and_o here_o i_o can_v but_o observe_v how_o unwilling_a the_o devil_n be_v to_o lose_v i_o who_o so_o late_o have_v be_v his_o prey_n and_o lead_v captive_a by_o he_o at_o his_o pleasure_n but_o yet_o after_o these_o relapse_n for_o ever_o magnify_v be_v distinguish_v love_n the_o lord_n gracious_o give_v i_o a_o check_n and_o after_o some_o reproof_n and_o advice_n from_o parent_n and_o serious_a friend_n i_o again_o begin_v to_o consider_v my_o way_n conscience_n be_v startle_v and_o begin_v to_o do_v the_o office_n of_o a_o faithful_a monitor_n and_o this_o scripture_n be_v often_o in_o my_o thought_n and_o sound_v terrible_o in_o my_o ear_n he_o that_o be_v often_o reprove_v and_o harden_v his_o heart_n shall_v sudden_o be_v destroy_v and_o that_o without_o remedy_n much_o precious_a time_n i_o do_v waste_v and_o trifle_v away_o in_o those_o day_n in_o sinful_a delight_n and_o pleasure_n the_o want_n of_o which_o i_o now_o sad_o experience_n several_a gentlewoman_n one_o after_o another_o i_o court_v be_v invite_v thereto_o by_o one_o friend_n or_o other_o and_o too_o many_o of_o my_o address_n of_o that_o nature_n be_v too_o extravagant_a inconsiderate_a and_o sinful_a which_o the_o lord_n have_v humble_v i_o much_o for_o since_o from_o swinderby_n i_o go_v to_o barkston_n with_o my_o father_n and_o his_o family_n who_o go_v to_o settle_v there_o for_o the_o sake_n of_o mr._n trott_n the_o minister_n of_o that_o town_n and_o a_o worthy_a good_a man_n whilst_o there_o i_o go_v sometime_o to_o grantham_n to_o hear_v some_o nonconformist_a minister_n as_o there_o be_v opportunity_n for_o their_o preach_a which_o be_v but_o seldom_o much_o soul-advantage_n i_o receive_v then_o through_o the_o lord_n blessing_n upon_o mr._n sharp_n ministry_n who_o be_v then_o a_o nonconformist_a of_o very_o great_a note_n after_o this_o my_o father_n buy_v a_o house_n at_o lincoln_n we_o remove_v to_o it_o and_o thither_o the_o lord_n in_o his_o providence_n send_v holy_a humble_a and_o worthy_a mr._n abdy_n to_o be_v pastor_n of_o that_o congregation_n for_o which_o he_o have_v liberty_n by_o the_o king_n proclamation_n and_o licence_n of_o indulgence_n here_o i_o delight_v great_o to_o attend_v upon_o those_o ordinance_n through_o god_n blessing_n upon_o which_o and_o a_o intimate_a correspondence_n i_o hold_v with_o he_o i_o receive_v much_o benefit_n then_o begin_v i_o in_o good_a earnest_n to_o set_v my_o face_n heaven-ward_n and_o to_o mind_v the_o great_a work_n the_o lord_n send_v i_o into_o and_o continue_v i_o in_o the_o world_n about_o now_o begin_v i_o not_o only_o to_o observe_v my_o private_a retirement_n for_o prayer_n but_o to_o pray_v in_o my_o father_n family_n though_o too_o hypocritical_o in_o those_o my_o first_o attempt_n i_o have_v cause_n enough_o to_o believe_v however_o have_v cast_v a_o look_v heavenward_n hell_n be_v present_o in_o a_o uproar_v the_o devil_n storm_n at_o it_o my_o old_a companion_n begin_v to_o upbraid_v i_o for_o it_o which_o yet_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o bear_v with_o patience_n as_o know_v that_o i_o have_v much_o better_o bear_v and_o endure_v the_o frown_n of_o wicked_a man_n for_o be_v religious_a than_o the_o everlasting_a frown_n of_o the_o great_a god_n for_o not_o
through_o grace_n in_o 2_o day_n so_o well_o that_o i_o can_v see_v to_o record_v this_o singular_a providence_n which_o escape_n and_o deliverance_n i_o desire_v to_o ascribe_v to_o divine_a goodness_n as_o a_o return_n to_o prayer_n and_o desire_v i_o may_v use_v my_o eye_n more_o to_o the_o honour_n of_o god_n 6._o january_n the_o 14_o 1683_o i_o and_o my_o man_n sam._n fone_n be_v go_v a_o journey_n to_o rotheram_n about_o seven_o mile_n off_o of_o nottingham_n sam_n be_v horse_n slip_v and_o fall_v on_o the_o side_n of_o a_o hill_n with_o his_o leg_n under_o he_o which_o be_v greivous_o bruise_v and_o strain_v and_o he_o so_o full_a of_o pain_n that_o i_o be_v force_v to_o return_v to_o nottingham_n with_o he_o in_o my_o return_n such_o a_o like_a fall_v i_o get_v my_o horse_n lie_v upon_o i_o a_o considerable_a time_n for_o he_o can_v not_o rise_v and_o have_v he_o rise_v of_o himself_o it_o may_v have_v break_v my_o leg_n which_o lie_v just_a in_o a_o cart-rut_a and_o sam_n be_v lame_v before_o can_v not_o help_v i_o but_o now_o providential_o a_o person_n come_v ride_v by_o just_a at_o that_o instant_n do_v help_v i_o up_o and_o through_o mercy_n i_o get_v not_o the_o least_o hurt_a though_o my_o fall_n seem_v much_o more_o dangerous_a than_o sam_n be_v who_o be_v lame_a and_o under_o the_o surgeon_n hand_n long_o this_o be_v a_o distinguish_a mercy_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o improve_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n 7._o the_o 18_o of_o june_n 1677._o in_o the_o close_a of_o that_o day_n in_o closet-prayer_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n so_o warm_o carry_v out_o after_o god_n that_o nothing_o will_v serve_v my_o turn_n but_o god_n and_o i_o trust_v god_n give_v i_o himself_o bless_a lord_n enable_v i_o to_o improve_v such_o a_o privilege_n 8._o my_o father_n disney_n in_o his_o time_n and_o i_o for_o some_o year_n after_o he_o be_v perplex_v with_o long_a and_o tedious_a suit_n by_o john_n oliver_n of_o lincoln_n a_o bankrupt_a who_o sue_v in_o formâ_fw-la pauperis_fw-la he_o do_v most_o wicked_o occasion_v several_a people_n to_o forswear_v themselves_o against_o i_o particular_o one_o jane_n farrow_n of_o lincoln_n age_a about_o 54_o a_o woman_n ofa_fw-mi bad_a life_n and_o no_o principle_n she_o be_v subpenae_v by_o j._n o._n to_o be_v a_o evidence_n for_o he_o at_o our_o sit_v a_o commission_n at_o lincoln_n for_o that_o purpose_n she_o the_o say_v jane_n farrow_n do_v swear_v positive_o that_o the_o good_n in_o j._n oh_o shop_n at_o the_o time_n my_o father_n seize_v they_o be_v worth_a 1500_o l._n and_o therefore_o she_o will_v conclude_v my_o father_n be_v complete_o satisfy_v j._n oh_o debt_n and_o have_v no_o right_a to_o detain_v his_o estate_n long_o from_o he_o though_o i_o at_o the_o same_o time_n bring_v substantial_a witness_n and_o person_n of_o good_a credit_n and_o reputation_n who_o upon_o oath_n make_v appear_v just_o the_o contrary_a one_o mr._n snowden_n in_o my_o behalf_n swear_v that_o he_o have_v a_o judgement_n 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very_o frequent_o speak_v the_o same_o or_o the_o like_a word_n o_o say_v she_o thou_o be_v come_v to_o fetch_v i_o i_o be_o certain_o thou_o and_o shall_v be_v with_o thou_o ever_o long_o she_o further_o add_v it_o must_v needs_o be_v so_o if_o mrs._n disney_n mean_v my_o mother_n and_o mr._n disney_n mean_v myself_o do_v not_o forgive_v i_o some_o about_o she_o tell_v she_o for_o she_o have_v many_o visitor_n daily_o that_o she_o must_v call_v upon_o god_n for_o mercy_n who_o alone_o for_o christ_n sake_n can_v forgive_v she_o but_o she_o bid_v they_o say_v no_o more_o of_o that_o for_o she_o have_v nothing_o to_o do_v with_o god_n nor_o christ_n nor_o will_v she_o receive_v any_o soul-advice_n as_o conclude_v she_o must_v be_v damn_v she_o send_v for_o j._n o._n that_o wicked_a wretch_n who_o be_v certain_o the_o ruin_n of_o that_o poor_a woman_n soul_n if_o the_o lord_n show_v not_o mercy_n at_o last_o gasp_n and_o tell_v he_o that_o for_o his_o sake_n and_o at_o his_o request_n she_o have_v damn_v her_o soul_n in_o forswear_v herself_o against_o mr._n disney_n he_o endeavour_v to_o pacify_v she_o by_o tell_v she_o she_o have_v swear_v nothing_o but_o truth_n and_o advise_v she_o not_o to_o regard_v what_o any_o say_v to_o the_o contrary_a but_o this_o do_v not_o do_v for_o she_o still_o cry_v out_o most_o horrid_o against_o herself_o desire_v those_o about_o she_o to_o pray_v for_o her_o death_n but_o say_v some_o by_o she_o jane_n we_o fear_v you_o be_v very_o unfit_a to_o die_v to_o which_o she_o present_o reply_v she_o know_v she_o must_v be_v damn_v and_o the_o devil_n stand_v ready_a for_o she_o and_o thus_o she_o live_v 2_o or_o 3_o day_n and_o go_v out_o of_o the_o world_n in_o a_o sad_a despair_a condition_n a_o most_o remarkable_a instance_n indeed_o it_o be_v of_o god_n vengeance_n upon_o a_o perjure_a person_n may_v other_o take_v warning_n by_o it_o and_o such_o as_o be_v guilty_a in_o the_o same_o kind_n repent_v in_o time_n 9_o a_o instance_n 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