and naked When the Israëlites were to give an offering to the Lord to make an atonement for their soules Ex 30.15 the rich were not to give more nor the poore to give lesse then halfe a shekel If God should require so much at my hands I should be apt to pleade the want of money or if I had so much I feare that I should appeare too unwilling to spare it But all coveteousnesse is a distrust of providence and either denyeth the power or questioneth the will of the greate disposer Hee provided for the poorest Israëlite on him therfore must I depend for reliefe comfort Something hee require's that I should offer unto him I have nothing of the world's All that I can offer is but my selfe and certainly my selfe shall be best accepted If I can but present him an honest heart it matter 's not how hungry or thirstie or cold or naked the body is which conteineth that heart Iob. 34.19 Hee accepteth not the persons of Princes nor regardeth the rich more then the poore for they all are the worke of his hands The rich may offer to him of their aboundance Mar 12 44. but I of my want will give him my heart which is all that I have Peradventure hee will say of mee vers 43 as hee did once of the widdow This poore woman hath cast more in then all they that have cast into the treasurie Thus if I sieke the Lord I cannot want for so the Prophet telleth mee Ps 34.10 The young Lyons doe lack and suffer hunger but they that sieke the Lord shall not want any good thing Saint Paul assureth mee saying 1. Cor 3.22 Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come vers 23 all are yours and yee are Christ's and Christ is God's And now what can I feare Whereat can I be displeased God is mine and I am his For what hee giveth mee I will be thankfull whatsoever earthly thing hee depriveth mee of I will be contented This poverty will not endure for ever If it continueth while I live yet it must end when I die that blessed time draweth neerer and neerer every moment I am assured of a deliverance I must attend with patience Afflicted Iob doe's certainly assure mee that Iob. 36.15 God delivereth the poore in his affliction and openeth their eares in oppression The same God promised to Tzion saying I will abundantly blesse her provision Ps 132.15 I will satisfie her poore with bread The Psalmist refresheth mee with unspeakeable comfort when hee telleth mee that Ps 9.18 Ps 72.12 The needy shall not allways be forgotten the expectation of the poore shall not perish for ever The Lord shall deliver the needy when hee cryeth the poore allso and him that hath noe helper Hee will defend the poore Ps 82.3 and fatherlesse hee will doe justice to the afflicted and needy Ps 140.12 Hee will maintaine the cause of the afflicted and the right of the poore Thus am I promised and thus shall it be performed It is noe new thing with God to take pitty upon the distressed The Prophet Isaiah saith unto him Thou hast beene a strength to the poore Is 25.4 a strength to the needy in his distresse a refuge from the storme a shadow from the heate Ps 34.6 This poore man cryed saith David and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles Againe Hee raiseth up the poore out of the dust Ps 113.7 Ps 10.14 Heb. 13 5. and lifteth the needy out of the dung-hill Therfore I resolve that I will commit my selfe unto him for hee is the helper of the friendlesse Hee hath promised that hee will never leave nor forsake them that trust in him Parents are commonly indulgent to their children yet because their naturall affection is possible to be quenched therfore say's the Psalmist When my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up I will therfore begge seing now I am poore I will begge of God because hee is rich I will begge of God to keepe mee to love mee to blesse mee that so I may never forsake my dependance on him nor hee his love and compassion to mee Earnestly will I besiech him and confidently will I resolve Rom 8 38. that Neither death nor life nor Angells nor principalities nor powers nor things present vers 39. nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall ever be able to separate mee from the love of God which is in Iesus Christ our Lord. The Prayer FAther of pitties Lord of comfort thou that hearest the cryes of the afflicted Iob. 34.28 Ps 32.4 looke downe in mercy on a distressed sinner Thy hand ô God is heavy upon mee for thou hast taken from mee what I called mine by reason that I did not acknowledg it thine ô Lord thou knowest my bleeding heart my sorrowfull eyes and my mournfull teares Thou seest how poore I am and what miseries I suffer Ps 44.13 I am a scorne to my neighbours and a derision to them that are round about mee My life is become a burden unto mee because thou hast deprived mee of the comforts thereof My lovers Ps 38.11 and mine acquaintance stand looking upon my miserie and my kinsmen stand a farre off Lord if it be thy pleasure thus to humble mee with poverty let it be thy goodnesse to give mee patience to endure it The pride of my heart and my forgetfullnesse of thee in the time of plenty did cry aloud for thy severest punishments Now ô now I feele thy just displeasure and I groane under the burden and weight thereof Yet thou Lord canst ease mee thou canst restore mee Heare Lord and have mercy Lord Ps 30.10 be thou my helper Suffer mee noe more to rely upon the arme of flesh 1. Tim 6.17 or to put my trust in un-certaine riches but make mee for ever depend upon thy bounty Forgive mee ô father the sinnes which I committed when I lived in prosperitie Ps 30.7 for I am sensible that they are a cause why at this time thou hidest thy face from mee and causest mee to be troubled O give mee a sight and sense of the greatnesse of them and true contrition and sorrow for them that so though the world forsake mee yet I may find favour and mercy in thy sight Without thy assistance this sore burden is too heavy for mee to beare Ps 38.4 Lord either remove it from mee or make it easier for mee Lend mee thy gratious and helping hand Ps 23.4 that as I am scourged with thy rod so I may leane upon thy staffe Let mee never despaire of thy comfortable reliefe but in all my miseries be thou my refuge Be pleased to endue mee with patience from above that I may give noe
King's daughter Ps 45.13 vers 14 which is all glorious with in hath virgins for her companians when shee is brought unto the King Such a virgin should my soule have beene but alasse shee dare's not appeare in the sight of the King because shee hath left off the ornaments of her virginitie Ier. 13.23 Can the Ethiopian change his skinne or the Leopard his spotts Can my soule which is deflowred with the filthinesse of sinne ever hope to be reckoned among the number of virgins Can shee which hath assumed the impudencie of an harlot ever expect to be accounted modest Can shee which is deformed with the staines of iniquitie ever hope to be deemed faire and beautifull Alasse what shall I doe Unlesse my husband be reconciled unto mee it is impossible I should escape the torments of hell Some that have offended have found him gratious why may not I hope for a tast of his mercy Could I but appeare in his sight with beauty and comelinesse hee would presently renew his love and affection O but my soule is full of deformitie and for want of care shee is loathsome and uglie But is there noe recoverie of a decayed forme Is there noe way to restore a declined beauty Though shee be not beautifull yet let her be comely for thus shee may bee allthough shee is black To worke then will I goe Cant 1.5 Is 1.6 and wholly will I labour to make her amiable in the sight of her Lord. Alasse this state and condition which shee is in is full of horrour and disconsolate torments From the sole of the foote even unto the head there is noe foundnesse in her but wounds and bruises and putrifying sores they have not beene closed neither bound up neither mollified with oyntment Ps 38.5 Thus doe her wounds stinke and are corrupt because of my foolishnesse Thus through the stench of her wounds and the loathsomenesse of her sores and the deformitie of her scarrs and the impudencie of her lookes and the foulenesse of her face I know not what to doe to restore her to his favour Is 1.16 But I will endeavour to wash her to make her cleane and to put away the evill of her doeings from before his eyes With my teares I will wash her with my teares I will cleanse her For every spot of sin which hath defiled her I will shed a whole fountaine a river of teares Yet sooner can I drowne my selfe in my teares then they of them selves can recover her beauty It must be thou ô my Iesus that must assist mee it must be thy blood ô my husband wich must cleanse my pollutions Lord accept yet of my teares which are all that I can offer and wash this thy sinfull spouse in the larer of thy blood This must be the way to regaine his love from whose affectionate bosome my soule is divorced By this meanes onely shall shee once againe be receaved as a virgin though shee hath played the harlot with many lovers Ier 3.1 Thus therfore will I come and humbly will I crave his pardon and forgivenesse I will besiech him to preserve my vessel in honour and my soule in sinceritie I will begge I will intreate I will pray and begging and intreating and praying I will say The Prayer BLessed Lord Sonne of a virgin who didst honour virginitie when thou tookest our nature hearken to the cryes of a lamenting maide Mat 8.8 Lord I am not worthy to come unto thee I am not worthy to receave any favour from thee for I have forsaken thee my most indulgent husband Ier 3.1 and played the herlot with many lovers My soule is too foule to be called thine too often hath shee broken her vowes and promises to hope for thy love or thy gratious pardon But Lord what now shall I doe If yet I should fall into a despaire of thy mercies I should increase my disloyaltie and either deny or despise the power of thy passion So greate was thy love to the Church thy Spouse that thou gavest thy selfe to sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word Eph 5.25.26 My soule ô Christ is a member of thy Spouse be pleased ô Iesus so to sanctifie and wash her that thou mayest present her to thy felfe without spot or wrinkle both holy and blamelesse vers 27 Zech 13.1 O thou who hast opened a fountaine to the house of David and to the inhabitants of Ierusalem Ps 51.2 for sinne and for uncleanesse doe thou wash mee throughly from mine iniquity and cleanse mee from my sinne Lord as in mercy thou hast given mee chastitie of body so give mee likewise the chastitie of mind and the puritie of soule Suffer not either the flesh or the Devill by their wicked suggestions to seduce mee to uncleanesse Though I am a weake 1 Pet 3.7 2 Cor 4.7 Act. 9.15 Rom 9.23 1 Thes 4.4 vers 5. though but an earthen vessell yet be thou pleased to make mee a chosen vessell a vessell of mercy Cause mee to keepe the vessell of my body and to possesse it in sanctification and honour and not in the lust of concupiscence like the Gentiles which know thee not O be thou my father in the grace of adoption be thou my brother in thy pitty and compassion be thou my husband in thy love and affection and be thou my Iesus in the salvation of my sick and sinfull soule Arme mee with constancy against all assaults of carnall imaginations Give mee modestie in my countenance decency in my apparell civilitie in my behaviour sobrietie in my discourse and contentednesse in my condition Make mee obedient to my parents respective to my superiours courteous to my inferiours and loving unto all Let not my adorning be outward 1 Pet 3.3 Iam 3.17 Prov 1.9 of putting on of apparell but give mee that wisedome which is from above to be as an ornament of grace unto my head and as chaines about my neck Preserve ô Christ both my body and soule in chastitie and honour while I am here upon earth as becometh a virgin espoused to thy selfe Eccl 12.7 Reu 14.3 and when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was let my spirit returne unto thy selfe who gavest it and to thee let it sing that new song with the quire of virgins before thy throne for ever and ever Amen subject 8 THE NINETH SUBJECT Teares of a woman in the state of mariage The Soliloquie Treating of the dueties of a wife to her husband THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray MAn was created in the image of God Gen 1 27. c 2.18 vers 21 vers 22 yet because it was not good that hee should be alone the Lord did make him an helpe that was meete for him A
know that my God is powerfull who dwelleth in heaven This barrennesse may peradventure be sent mee in mercy allthough so heavily I take it for a judgment It may be I should faile in the duety of patience in the time of my travell or of love and care in the education of my children or I might be too fondly guiltie of doating on them so idolatrously robbe my God of his honour to conferre it wickedly on the issue of my loynes Moreover who knoweth what times of trouble may come upon the land or what destruction and desolation may be sent upon my countrie If persecution or warre should enforce mee to flee I can the better escape now I am free from children For this very cause my blessed Redeemer foretelling the distruction of the citty of Ierusalem sayd unto the women Daughters of Ierâ—salem weepe not for mee Lu 23.28 vers 29 but weepe for your selves and for your children For behold the dayes are comeing in the which they shall say Blessed are the barren and the wombe that never bare and the pappes that never gave suck So this barrennesse may bring content in that it freeth mee from cares and various perturbations although if it might seeme good in the eyes of my God most willingly would I embrace the trouble that I might increase his Kingdome I will resolve howsoëver to submit my selfe to the greate disposer and will hope that it may be his pleasure to send mee my desires Time was when the Gentiles knew not God which made the Psalmist so magnifie God for his mercies to Israël Ps 147.19 when hee sayd Hee sheweth his word unto Iacob his statutes and his judgments unto Israël vers 20 Hee hath not dealt so with any nation neither have the heathen knowledg of his law Then had the Gentiles a spirituall barrennesse for they were barren of religion and yet the Prophet comforteth them Is 54.1 saying Sing ô barren thou that didest not beare breake forth into singing and cry alowd thou that didst not travell with child for more are the children of the desolate then the children of the maried wife saith the Lord. This Prophesie is fullfilled to the joy and rejoycing of my selfe and many millions more for the song doeth noe longer runne in the phrase of the Psalmist Ps 76.1 ves 2. In Iudah is God knowne his name is greate in Israel In Salem allso is his tabernacle and his dwelling place in Sion Noe noe Lu 2.32 hee who was the glory of the people Israel did come to be a light to lighten the Gentiles Thus the Gentiles which had not beene a people Rom. 9 25. were called to be the people of the most high God shee who had not beene beloved did through his mercy become the beloved of God and shee that was barren through ignorance and infidelitie grew the faithfull spouse of the most high Why should I then give over my hopes Hee who made a fruitfull church even of the heathen which knew him not Is 54.3 can if hee pleaseth make mee a fruitfull mother of children verf 5. Her maker is her husband the Lord of hosts is his name and her redeemer is the holy one of Israel the God of the whole earth shall hee be called I am one of the members of that church which hath Christ to her husband I will therfore never despaire either of his power or mercy I dare not repine as Rachel did when shee bare Iacob noe children and envyed her sister Gen 34 1. vers 2. I dare not say to my husband as shee did to hers Give mee children or else I dye lest his anger should be kindled against mee and hee should answer mee as Iacob did her and say Am I in God's steed who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the wombe I know it is God who giveth and I know it is God who withholdeth these mercies I dare not be too inquisitive into a reason in nature lest I dis-honour him who is the God of nature I may and I will desire this blessing at the hands of him who giveth liberally Iam 1.5 and upbraideth not Yet lest my petitions should be empty if they rise not with teares I will weepe for my sinnes which have caused his displeasure and yet I will weepe in hope that hee will be reconciled unto mee Of every judgment I must find the cause in the wickednesse of my selfe I want the comfort and content of children because I my selfe have beene a child disobedient to my God But I will bewayle my sinnes and bemoane my condition and allthough hee cannot be ignorant of my servent desires yet I will lay open to him the griefe of my heart Gen 25 21. Isaak intreated him for his wife because shee was barren and hee was intreated of him and Rebekah his wife conceaved And shee had two children which strugled together in their mother's wombe ver 22 At the prayer of Elisha the good Shunamitish woman conceaved 2. King 4.17 Gen 20 17. and bare a sonne at that very season that Elisha had sayd unto her according to the time of life Faithfull Abraham prayed unto the Lord and the Lord healed Abimelech and his wife and his mayd servants and they bare children vers 18 for the Lord had first closed up all the wombes of the house of Abimelech because of Sarah Abrahams wife The Lord did promise unto Israël upon obedience saying There shall nothing cast their young Ex. 23.26 Deut. 7 12. nor be barren in thy land Another promise was made unto them by God himselfe when hee sayd It shall come to passe if yee hearken to these judgments and doe them Thou shalt be blessed above all people there shall not be male or female barren among you or among your cattell Againe they were promised by the mouth of Moses saying It shall come to passe c. 28.1 if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voyce of the Lord thy God to observe and to doe all the commandements which I command thee this day vers 11 the Lord shall make thee plenteous in goods in the fruit of thy body and in the fruit of thy cattell and in the fruit of thy ground in the land which the Lord sware unto thy fathers to give thee But I have not such an Isaak to intreate for mee as Rebekah had nor such an Elisha as the Shunamitesse had nor such an Abraham as Abimelech had What then I have the promise of my God if I be a true Israëlite indeede Io. 1.47 such a one as Nathaniel was in whom was noe guile If I obey my God and hearken to his judgments and doe them If I hearken diligently unto the voyce of the Lord my God to observe and to doe all the commandements which hee commandeth mee to doe then I may expect the blessing which was promised unto Israël The promises of God are made upon conditions
ceremeniall law yea a Priest himselfe was allowed these acts so naturall and pious Though touching the Nazarites the command was strickt which the Lord delivered unto Moses Num. 6 1. vers 2. saying Say unto the children of Israel when either man or woman shall seperate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite to seperate themselves unto the Lord vers 6. all the dayes that hee seperateth himselfe unto the Lord hee shall come at noe dead body vers 7. hee shall not make himselfe un-cleane for his father or for his mother for his brother or for his sister when they dye because the consecration of his God is upon his head Yet whereas the law said Eze 44 25. The Priests shall come at noe dead person to defile themselves it ran with this exception But for father or for mother or for sonne or for daughter for brother or for sister that hath had noe husband they may defile themselves And againe concerning the common people the law provideth saying Num 19.16 Whosoever toucheth one that is slaine with the sword in the open fields or a dead bodie or a bone of a man or a grave shall be uncleane but the time of his un-cleanesse was to continue but seaven dayes That law hath now noe power to oblige us who are under the Gospel I may touch my dead parent and embrace him yea and kisse him at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body And so I will and if there remaine any un-cleanesse in my cogitations I will purifie I will wash it away with the bath of my teares Allthough my sorrowes cannot call him from the grave yet they have power both to discover mine affection and to satisfie my desires Heb 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life againe This indeede is too much for mee to expect yet it will not be too much for mee to mourne with those women who were afterward thus comforted But then I must be just in my mourning As my love may lawfully be shewed in my teares so must my religion be manifested in my moderation It was a curse upon the Iewes which the Prophet pronounced when hee said Men shall not teare themselves for them in mourning Ier. 16.7 to comfort them for the dead neither shall men give them the cupp of consolation to drinke for their father or for their mother I must not exceede the bounds of modestie in my cryes lamentations but I must drinke rather of the cupp of consolation and hearken to the advice and counsell of my comforters Nature indeede may be seene in a teare and heard in a sigh but if those teares be too many or those sighes too frequent or too lowde my very sorrowes may be sinfull for my want of patience Hee for whom I grieve is better then my selfe and his condition is full of joy and delight why then should I mourne too excessively as if hee were lost why should I grieve too immoderately as if I despaired of a father Hee is gone to a place where hee is freed from sorrowes and can dye noe more onely I am on earth in a valley of teares but I shall have a time to dye too and be gathered unto him In heaven saith Saint Iohn there shall be noe more death Reu. 21.4 neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things are passed away My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtaine that world Luc. 20 35. the resurrection from the dead neither marrie nor are given in mariage neither can they dye any more vers 36 for they are equall unto the Angells and are the children of God being the children of the resurrection VVhy then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrowes and my teares are but a fruitlesse disturbance of my selfe If I am troubled at the losse of a friend so deare I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good I shall one day learne with holy Iob Iob. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father and to the worme Thou art my mother and my sister There is yet something earthly therfore which I shall acknowledge a parent but I must take heede that nothing upon earth doeth make mee an idolater The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock Ier 2.27 Thou art my father to a stone Thou hast brought mee forth This were a stupid madnesse in mee if I should so dis-honour the memorie of my father as to make the timber succeede him in my reverence But more impious it would prove if I should reject my heavenly father and insteed of him I should honour as Israel did a stock or a stone The greater that my losse is in my deceased parent the more must be my obedience to the father of lights Iam. 1.17 Heb. 12 9. Hee who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto mee for a time the father of my flesh Hee hath allso taken from mee my naturall parent that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom hee dwelleth If my trust be in God my comforts will abound my sorrowes will decrease If my name be written among the righteous my share shall be equall to theirs in the protection of my God Hee hath ever beene mercifull to them that were fatherlesse so that they relyed on his providence and served him with faithfullnesse Ps 27.10 Ps 68.5 When my father and my mother forsake mee saith the Psalmist then the Lord will take mee up a father of the fatherlesse is God in his holy habitation O that I might have the honour to be his child that so I might justly call him father O that I could truely say unto him Thou art my father my God Ps 89.26 Is 63.16 Ier. 3.19 2. Cor. 6.18 and the rock of my salvation O that I could faithfully say Thou ô Lord art my father my Redeemer thy name is from ever-lasting O that I could call him my father and not turne away from him His mercies are greate his promises are full of comfort I will be a father unto you and yee shall be my sonnes and daughters saith the Lord All-mighty O what shall I doe that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children Alas as I am I have but litle hope of it for hee is pure but I am un-cleane but I will wash my selfe with my teares of repentance and beseech his Sonne to cleanse mee with his blood Hee is righteous but I am sinfull but I will confesse my wickednesse Ps 38.18 and be sorrie for my sinnes and then I am sure hee will aboundantly pardon Lord though I have beene thine enemie thou canst make mee thy friend though I have hated thee thou canst incline mee to love thee though I have beene rebellious thou
learne to depend upon God Some things wee thinke wee can certainly foresee consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are meerely naturall but yet wee often faile in our expectations either through the defect of reason or the indisposition and weakenesse of the second causes or else yea and most chiefely by the order of the Most High Yet some are so fond as to magnifie their reason and thereupon ground a necessitie of events not well considering that Allthough this reason obligeth men yet it tyeth not him who is farre above both reason and nature Some againe in their curiositie prying too neerely into things to come borrow their assistance from the Prince of the ayer accounting their knowledg an excellency not tyed to the lawes of religion Thus did that wicked King Ahazia but contrarie to his expectation hee receaved an answer from a Prophet of the Lord vers 6. for Elijah said unto him Thus saith the Lord Therfore thou shalt not come downe from that bed on which thou art gone up but shalt surely dye O what a dreadfull sentence was this Especially to him who sought to the Devill that lyer for his knowledg but receaved such an answer from God who could not deceave Thus am I gone up to my bed too as was that bruised King I am tormented with sicknesse and I languish in a disease O what shall I doe Faine mee thinks I would be certified how long I have to live faine I would live Ps 39.4 and yet I am not certaine of life I am not readie for death and yet I am heartily afraid that I shall find this death too readie for mee But why should I not dye Am I not disturbed with heates and colds with weakenesse and feeblenesse Am I not in a world that giveth noe content That can neither bound my desires nor yet afford what I seeke While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment When I shall be gone this faintnesse and weakenesse these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weake and infirme body But what then When my body shall sleepe in the silent grave shall it continue there for ever Or shall the soule have a decay and yeald to corruption together with my body of clay and earth Noe noe nothing lesse The body shall indeede lye downe in the dust but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise againe but the soule is eternall it shall continue for ever For ever it shall rest in continuall peace or for ever it shall be tormented in ever-lasting flames Noe merveile then ô my sorrowfull soule that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh since thou knowest not whither thou shalt flye at thy departure But why should not I as well hope for felicitie as dread those torments when my life shall end Doe I aske Why The reason is too plaine What good can I expect from the hands of him whom I have never loved whom I have never obeyed Those whom hee crowneth with heavenly blisse are they who sought for it in a miserable life But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue and I have made choyce of this world for the seate of my happinesse But now alas to my woe I find that earth can neither afford any true content nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good What now shall I doe O whither shall I betake my selfe that I may be partaker of those joyes which are the inheritance of the godly Num. 23.10 Faine I would dye the death of the righteous and I wish that my last end might be like unto his But is this a desire easie to be graunted Alas had I lived the life of the righteous I might then have beene sure I should have dyed the death of them But that ô that is it which pricketh mee at the heart I have lived in sensualitie and this evill day hath beene out of my remembrance so that I cannot comfort my selfe with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet But what then Is there noe remedie at all but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell God forbid Hee who hath forborne mee so long when I went on in my wickednesse may yet if hee please afford mee his mercy It is not above his power nor will it eclipse his glory It was once his free promise to a thiefe even dying upon the crosse Lu 23.43 2. Cor. 1.20 This day shalt thou be with mee in paradise His promises allso are sure they are in him yea and in him Amen I doubt not therfore but his mercy was as greate as his word was sure Thus hee saved one which forbiddeth mee despairing yet it was but one which forbiddeth mee presuming But surely it can be noe presumption to build upon his goodnesse Hee delighteth not in the death of a sinner What good can the condemning of mee doe either to him or his creatures True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it but yet it will adde noe glory to his mercy Againe there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his praises but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies In heaven mee think's there is one too few untill I shall come thither to adde to the number In hell mee think's there would be one too many if I should be throwne into that gulfe of perdition O my God since thou hast vouchsafed mee the knowledg of a heaven yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth allthough my knowledg be imperfect thou art offended yet for the merits of thy Sonne be pleased to make mee a cittizen of heaven Rev 21 27. It is most true that there shall in noe wise enter into that place any thing that defileth neither whatsoëver worketh abomination or maketh a lye but they onely which are written in the Lamb's booke of life Upon these termes my hopes indeede doe languish and grow more faint then my feeble body But who is that which condemneth the wicked Is it not hee who likewise calleth the wicked and inviteth them to mercy Is it not hee who telleth mee by his Prophet and saith it himselfe Eze 18 21. If the wicked will turne from all his sinnes that hee hath committed and keepe all my statutes Vers 22 doe that which is lawfull and right hee shall surely live hee shall not dye All his transgressions that hee hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him vers 23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should dye Saith the Lord God and not that hee should returne from his wayes and live O who is more wicked then I Who more sinfull then I My life hath beene nothing but a continued rebellion and my time hath beene wasted in nothing but disobedience Yet while I have life I have hope If I can but know mine iniquities and get a sorrowfull spirit for them
order unto him and in obedience to his commands I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love him with the same affection as my selfe For his sake for whom I love my selfe even for God's For the same reason as my selfe even for grace conferred in this life present and for a certaine hope of eternall glory in the life to come In the same order as my selfe which shall be above the world but inferiour to my God Vpon the same ground as myselfe even because of the image of God imprinted in him and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse lastly as long as myselfe even from the beginning unto the end untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive my sad and sorrowfull soule And that my brethren my neighbours may be the better assured of my love which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe Heb 4.14 and that it may be knowne that through the grace of my God I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same without leaning either to prophanesse atheisme superstition or any other errour or heresie and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end in the end I will therfore cheerefully faithfully and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe and say I beleeve in God the Father Allmighty Maker of heaven and earth and in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord which was conceived by the holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified dead and buried hee descended into hell the third day hee rose againe from the dead hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father All-mighty from thence hee shall come to judg the quick and the dead I beleeve in the holy Ghost the holy Catholike Church the Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen Thus I believe Lord helpe my un-beliefe Mar. 9.24 Eph. 4.14 and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lie in wayt to deceave vers 15 but that speaking and believing this trueth in love I may grow up unto him in all things which is the head even Christ my Redeemer And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes and continue in love and persevere in the faith and submit to his good pleasure I will with a bended heart and a sorrowfull spirit and weeping eyes pray unto him and say exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick FAther of mercies Lord of life thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble Ps 6.2 have mercy upon mee Ps 143.4 for I am weake and my heart with in mee is desolate A sinner I am I must confesse it not deserving thy mercy a fowle a grievous sinner I am who have disobeyed thy statutes and broken all thy commandements and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee My conscience check's mee and my sinnes testifie against mee and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee O Lord be thou my protectour and my gracious father Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased Io 16.23 and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee doe thou comfort mee in these my trpâ—… and afflictions Ps 60.11 o be thou my helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man To thee I cry to thee I come with a panting heart with a sorrowfull soule with an humble spirit I have sinned ô I have sinned and done amisse and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to bind up their wounds be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony Ps 143.6 in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes To thee Ps 143.6 and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee ô Lord that soone for my spirit waxeth faint hide not thy face from mee lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction O let not these teares be refused nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely My selfe I abhorre Iob 42.6 and repent in dust and ashes my workes I disclaine for I know their unworthinesse on thee alone ô my Iesus I wholly depend and by thee alone I hope for remission Be thou my Iesus be thou my Saviour Cure mee by thy wounds heale mee by thy stripes ease mee by thy torments comfort mee by thine agonie refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat revive mee by thy death and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world present mee to thy father in the robe of thy righteousnesse Ps 94.13 Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure rely upon thy mercy be thankfull for thy chastisement and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection This sicknesse for ought I know may be unto death but in thee I trust it shall be a passage unto life If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation howsoever be pleased ô my father for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death Let mee be found of thee in peace 2. Pet 3 14. Hab 3.2 Is 9.13 Iob. 3.25 Mich 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps 119.175 that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy Vnto thee I turne for thou hast smitten mee and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee My body thou
give mee a sight of and a sorrow for the offences thereof Breake thou my hard and stonie heart with the knowledg of my sinne and my due consideration of thy heavy wrath Psal 5.4 Eze. 11 19. Psal 51.10 Deut. 4 9.10.17.17 Ps 107.35 Thou art a God that delightest not in wickednesse remove therfore from mee this heart of obstinacie and give mee a heart of flesh Create in mee a cleane heart ô God and renew a right spirit within mee Let not thy commandements depart from it all the dayes of my life Speake but the word ô God and it shall be done Sanctifie it in thy trueth thy word is trueth O thou that didst turne the wildernesse into a standing water and drie ground into water springs be pleased to shew thy mercy now in the depth of my distresse Lord heare my desires behould my necessities Without a heart I cannot serve thee without a new heart I cannot praise thee Lord give mee a heart to feare thee Is 66.2 Ps 38.18 to tremble at thy word to listen to thy promises to confesse my sinnes and to be sorrie for mine offences Give mee ô my God Ps 119.80 fuch a heart as thou requirest that so it may be allways sound in thy statutes Give mee a heart that may mourne in secret for all my sinns both secret and open that may be zealous for thine honour that may be tender of thy displeasure and that may shun both the inclination to and the desire of offending thee my greate Creatour Heare mee ô God Io. 19.34 Mat. 26 38. for thy mercies are greate Heare mee ô Christ whose side was pierced whose soule was sorrowfull and all to purchase new hearts for all that are penitent sinners Heare mee ô blessed spirit and assist mee in my petitions with sighes Rom. 8 26. Can. 8.6 and groanes that cannot be expressed Give mee a heart for thy service and then set mee ô Lord as a seale upon thine â—rme O Lord give O Lord forgive Forgive my sinnes and give mee the blessing of a righteous heart that so I may feare thee as long as I shall remaine in this vallie of teares and then receave mee ô my father into thy celestiall Kingdome that I may live with thee in glorie for ever and ever through Iesus Christ my onely mediatour and redeemer Amen THE THIRD SUBJECT Teares of Time The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 A re-view of the time past 2 A consideration of the time present 3 A resolution for the time to come The First part A re-view of the time past THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe fower beasts in the Apocalyps that were full of eyes before behind and within sitting upon the throne which was set in heaven rested not day and night saying Rev. 4.8 Holy holy holy Lord God Allmighty which was and is and is to come What a high description is here of the sacred Trinitie The Father holy the Sonne holy and the Spirit holy and yet not three holies but one holy The Father Lord the Sonne Lord and the Holy Ghost Lord. The Father God the Sonne God and the Holy Ghost God The Father All mighty the Sonne All mighty and the Holy Ghost All mighty The Father Eternall the Sonne Eternall and the Holy Ghost Etemall and yet not three Lords nor three Gods nor three Allmighties not three Eternalls but one Lord one God one All mighty and one Eternall Eternall What 's that The text saith which was not as if hee had beene but is not therfore it is added which is yet not so is as if hee should be no more therfore it is farther added and is to come Surely hee that was without beginning which is immutable and which shall be the judg both of the quick and the dead even the same God was is and shall be Holy in his essency Lord in his dominion God in his excellency Allmighty in his power and Eternall in all When I reade these deepe mysteries of my God ô how I am divided mee think's in my selfe How doe I varie in my thoughts and meditations The singing of those heavenly beasts make's mee rejoyce but their song it selfe drive's mee into a sadnesse for they tell mee that holinesse and righteousnesse and glory and power and eternitie is the very nature of God in none whereof I can find my selfe to be like unto him Lord I wish that I were with the beasts upon the throne that I might be a litle more cheerfull then I am here at the foote stoole But alasse my wishes cannot be purchases for none can come to God but those alone who are like unto God 1 Cor. 29. Before I can come to sitt upon that throne I must certainly be holy for hee is holy I must be righteous for hee is righteous and then though I shall not have such power nor glory as hee hath yet I shall have my share I shall have my proportion I shall have such power to magnifie my God as that nothing shall be able either to oppose or divert mee I shall have such glory as neither eye hath seene 1 Pet. 1 15. nor eare hath heard nor yet can enter into the heart of man to conceave yea and I shall have eternitie too for though I cannot be sayd to be perfectly eternall because I had a beginning yet I shall be certainly eternall in that I shall have noe end But how shall I gaine this holinesse that I may come to that eternitie Surely I must looke upon the three distinctions or parts of time and if I consider them as limitted I must find my selfe in them if as unlimitted I must find my God in them For God is not so sayd which was which is and which is to come as if this description did any way come neere a full expression of his eternitie but rather submitt's as it were onely to our capacitie that so by this I may partly conjecture at what I cannot yet possibly comprehend Noe time can properly be asscribed unto God for each part thereof hath a bound and limitation which God can not have The time past is gone allready from us the time present is goeing and the time to come is not yet ours But when wee say God was wee intimate his perfection in being without a beginning of being When wee say God is wee expresse his vigour and readinesse and power to effect his purposes and when wee say God shall be wee undoubtedly acknowledg and confesse his perpetuitie The time was when I was not and I againe shall be when time shall not I shall be indeede but where shall I be Eternitie hath but two mansions heaven hell If I doe not take heede I may be tormented for ever Lord how I tremble at the thought of it
ghost c 25.8 and dyed in a good old age Iud 8.32 1. Chr 29.28 Gen 23 1. vers 2. an old man full of yeeres and was gathered to his people Gideon the sonne of Ioash dyed in a good old age David dyed in a good old age full of dayes riches and honour Sarah was an hundred twentie and seaven yeeres old when shee dyed in Kiriath arba These and thousands of others who lived greate and good ages lay downe in the dust and their spirits were caried by Angells into the kingdome of happinesse the citty of my God why then should not I endeavour to follow them to blisse Dye I must but when or where or how I can not determine Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous I shall dye their death Num 23.10 and receave their reward As neere as I am to my longest home I am not assured what death I shall dye neither by what disease nor with what torments or ease Gen 42.38 Iacob was afraid that his gray haires should be brought downe with sorrow to the grave When David gave Solomon a charge concerning Ioab hee commanded him 1. King 2.6 saying Let not his hoary head goe downe to the grave in peace Concerning Shimei hee likewise charged him vers 9. saying His hoary head bring thou downe to the grave with blood The rebellious Israëlites were threatned for their disobedience Deut 28.49 vers 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them which should not regard the person of the oldâ— nor shew favour to the young I have noe more priviledg nor prerogative then they unlesse I can prove that I am better then they Nay more the manner or the kind of death though never so tormenting is farre from satisfying for the smallest offence My death may be troublsome and sull of miserie and yet my doome may be full of horrour O what shall I doe What shall I doe to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled The more yeeres I have lived the more sinnes I have committed The words of the ould Patriarch doe more properly belong unto mes then they did unto him Few Gen 47.9 and evill have the dayes of the yeeres of my life beene O what a world of crimes is my soule oppressed with What shall I doe to pacifie my God against whom my sinnes and offences have beene committed Nothing but blood can satisfie for my skarlet crimes and noe blood can appease him but the blood of his Sonne and noe share can I have in that most precious blood unlesse I seriously and faithfully repent mee of my sinnes Lord Is 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch Behold I am a drie tree yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the dryest tree as the obdurate rockes O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of teares and a heart full of groanes If all that litle moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one teare of timely and acceptable repentance even that teare ô God would I readily offer thee Lord I grieve in my very soule for the pollutions of my soule and am seriously and heartily offended at my selfe for offending thee Accept ô God the throbs of my fainting heart and be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne O Lord I sigh ô Lord I grieve My heart panteth my bowells yerne and my very soule languisheth and pineth to receave the assurance of thy favour I will lye at the poole of Bethesda as hee did who was diseased neere fortie yeeres Io. 5.5 I will lye at the gate of thy mercy ô Iesus and there will I weepe and grieve and lament and call and cry for mercy at thy hands ô blessed Redeemer and my petitions I will tender in all humilitie and devotion praying and saying The Prayer MErcifull Lord God Is 46.3 who didst promise to carrie the house of Iacob from the belly and the wombe vers 4. even to old age and hoary haires despise not the humble suite of thine aged and feeble servant My many yeeres I must confesse I have spent in vanitie and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service as I ought to have done Every day have I offended thee and every hower have I beene disobedient to thy lawes My child-hood hath beene full of folly my youth of stubbornesse my riper yeeres have beene apt to wantonnesse and mine old and aged dayes to coveteousnesse and impenitencie Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed mee in my sinnes and have given mee a portion in the land of darknesse But now ô father since thou hast spared mee so long doe not condemne mee at the last Let the heavie heart and the trembling tongue and the shaking hands and the most sorrowfull soule of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes With thy mercy Iob. 4.4 Ps 35.3 Ps 39.4 ô Lord strengthen my weake hands support my feeble knees comfort my drooping heart and say unto my soule I am thy salvation Lord make mee to know mine end and the measure of my dayes that I may know how fraile I am vers 5. Ps 93.2 Ps 102.27 Ps 90.9 Mine age is nothing before thee for thou art from everlasting and thy yeeres shall not faile O be thou reconciled unto mee through the passion of my Redeemer for when thou art angry all our dayes are gone wee bring our yeeres to an end as a tale that is told Ps 71.9 O cast mee not off in this time of old age forsake mee not now my strength faileth mee Though the heavens Is 51.6 and the â—earth shall waxe old as doeth a garment and they that dwell therein shall dye yet thy salvation shall be for ever and thy righteousnesse shall not be abolished Ps 43.3 Ps 71.18 Ps 23.4 Ps 62.7 Prov. 23.22 O send out thy light and thy trueth to leade mee now I am old and gray headed ô my staffe and thou who art the onely rock of strength forsake mee not Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them and not to despise their mothers when they are old O my heavenly father doe thou make mee thy child by grace and adoption that I may hearken unto thee and never despise or forsake thy commandements Make mee allways remember thy workes ô Lord Ps 77.11 and call to mind thy wonders of old time Give mee grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse Tit 2.3 not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient and decrepid but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good Peaceably ô my father Iob. 5.26 let mee come to my grave in a full age like as a shock of corne cometh in in his season By the course of nature I am ready to goe the way of all the earth
meete thee my God and my mercifull Redeemer O God comfort mee O Christ strengthen mee O Iesus save mee Prepare mee for the happie hower of my deliverance from this world and then bring mee out of this valley of teares to those waters of comfort where I may sing tryumphantly to the honour of thy name through Iesus Christ my Lord and my Redeemer Amen subject 25 THE TWENTIE-FIFTH SUBjECT Teares of a mother on her death-bed blessing her children The Soliloquie Consisting of two parts viz 1 Her preparation to blesse them 2 The blessing it selfe ending in a prayer part 1 The First part of the Soliloquie being her preparation to blesse them THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray CHildren are an heritage of the Lord saith the Psalmist Ps 127.3 and the fruit of the wombe is his reward True indeede they come from the Lord and happy are they if they returne unto him Gracious hath my God beene to mee in the loane of my issue but unlesse hee shall be pleased to adde grace unto nature his blessing will be fearfully converted into a curse Weakenesse possesseth my body faintnesse my spirits 2. Tim. 4.6 and the time of my departure is neere at hand Goe I must yea and I am willing and joyfull to meete my God but oh the thought of my children disturbeth my mind and the consideration of what may become of them filleth my dying heart with cares and anxjeties If they live not in the feare of him who lent them unto mee my poore issue may become the fewell of hell What shall I doe If I should live I would take such care by the blessing of my God as that I might be a meanes to nurture them up in the feare of the most high but if I am taken away from them who can tell what their education may prove Strangers may governe them and such people for ought I know may undertake their tuition as may neglect the care of religious instructions and suffer them to runne head-long to the gulfe of perdition O what a curse would it prove beyond expression if that part of my selfe which is divided into litle ones if those which cost mee so many pangs and throwes should be disobedient to my God and so be sentenced to the flames of eternall horrour Alas I can doe noe more then what the Lord will permit mee While I am here I am bound both by nature and grace to endeavour my utmost for their holy advantage but when I shall be dissolved lye in the cold clods of my mother earth then can noe more care be expected from mee Ah my poore infants litle doe they thinke how they will misse their mother and wish mee alive againe as if they envyed my happinesse Hither and thither they may be tossed and tumbled and which is worst of all they may be brought up in ignorance or in lewdnesse and sensualitie Mee think's I see the frownes of a stepmother and the knitted browes menacing nothing but crueltie and tyrannie and then mee think's they weepe in one corner and lament in another bemoane their hard happ in the losse of my selfe Their hungrie bellies may be pinched with famine their bodies with cold and their backs with stripes when I shall not either heare or see or know it my head being layed in the low and silent grave Helpe they may call for when none will have the pittie to render them helpe So they may want and cry and be beaten and cry and be turned out of doores and cry when yet neither mercy will heare nor charitie hearken to the complaints of the motherlesse But why doe I spend so many of these swift minuits of my short continuance in such pensive melancholick and distrustfull thoughts and feares of what may happen True it is that these and others yea and worse inconveniences may happen to their bodies and yet they may prove the children of the Most high That ô that is all that I aime at for though I would not willingly have them suffer in their bodies yet I would not for a thousand worlds that they should suffer in their soules Hunger and thirst and stripes and nakednesse may be endured and in time either age or wealth or friends may free them from these out-ward sufferances but ignorance and ungodlinesse without the infinite mercies and goodnesse of my Redeemer will be punished with torments that shall never have end O what shall I doe then for my poore distressed children Grieve I doe but I feare that I offend in it mourne I doe but I doubt it is more then indeede I ought God is not weake or ignorant or impotent Hee hath beene a father to mee from the time of my conception and shall I yet distrust in his providence and protection of my children This were either to suspect his power or to deny his mercie I know it is his desire that they should be heires of salvation and I know that hee can effect whatsoever hee desireth To him therfore I will leave them to his care and tuition I will referre my tender and beloved plants And that hee may the more willingly become their guardiaen when I shall leave them while I live I will beseech him with abundance of my teares to admitt them his servants The wife of Zebideus made a bolder request to my gracious Redeemer Mat 20.21 for shee be sought him that those her two sonnes might sit the one on his right hand and the other on his left in his Kingdome vers 22 Shee poore woman as Christ replyed did not know what shee asked Shee knew not that the Kingdome of Christ was celestiall but dreamed of an earthly diademe and glory Her request was therfore the fuller both of boldnesse and ambition whom noe place would serve for those her children but what was highest and next to supreamest majestie Yet mee thinks I cannot much blame her for her love to them whom so dearely shee had bought There is noe earthly love to be compared to the love of a woman nor is any womans love to be compared to the love of a mother Surely David did not know how strong this passion of love is in the weaker vessells when hee said The love of Ionathan to him was wonderfull 2. Sam. 1.26 passing the love of women Wee mothers are like unto the charet of King Solomon whereof though the pillars were of silver Cant 3 10. and the bottome of gold and the covering of purple yet the midst thereof was paved with love for the daughters of Ierusalem Is 49.15 Can a woman saith God forget her sucking child that shee should not have compassion on the sonne of her wombe 'T is very rare indeede and yet it is possible for hee himselfe doeth say that they may forget Yet