the Lord with tears that he would be pleased to give me a right understanding in what I could not well apprehend so gratious was the Lord at that time to give in answer to my poor request and caused me to find much sweetness and comfort in reading which before I never had found this raised up my heart to praise the Lord for his mercy towards me and gave me much comfort in that I hoped the Lord had not forgotten to be gratious but had in mercy owned himself to be my God hearing prayer and that the poor weak prayer of a wretched miserable creature who was looked upon with the eâ—e of scorn and much dispised this carried up my soul to joy in the Lord with praises to him in which I found much comfort and incouragement then did I in my heart resolve to wait upon the Lord with my poor petitions for strength till he should pâ—ease to give me a clearer evidence of his love and the true knowledge of his wayes which I desired to know above all earthly things tâ—us was the Lord pâ—eased to come in with a gratious iâ—fluence of his holy spirit whereby I received comfort from every â—ermon I â—eard for about 2 Months space But then how was my sinful and deceitful heart puffed up what thoughts did I begin to have of my self how had the Devil changed his notâ— and told my proud heart my state was now good and my graces were much increased for which I ought to be much esteemed how ready I was to do any thing which might secretly make me bethought well of by such as knew it then did I walk as one that was well principled in Religion and a great professâ—r O wicked wretch that after so much love should dare to be so careless as to let Satan steal away my heart yet the goodness of the Lord whose mercies indure for ever would not suffer me to rest in this condition but was pleased by a Sermon to make me behold my condition and search into with a single eye the subject he preached from was the 25 of Matthew the parable of the ten virgins whereby he shewed how far a carnal outward professor might be like a real Christian and yeâ— have never a dram of grace whiâ—h the Lord was pleased to fasten upon my soul making me to weigh my actions and the thoughts of my heart with the pure word of God where I â—ound much unsoundness and rottenness then was my heart east into its former sadness then was the Lord pleased to hâ—mblâ— my soul under the sence of a proud disâ—â—â—dâ—ent heart and made me to be more watchfull to my ways and apply my heart to reading and prayer which before it was much streightned in Thus did I look into the waies of some other professors where the Lord discovered to me many weaknesseâ— and failings by comparing of their wayes unto the pure word of God I saw a shortness of that Gospel spirit the whole Gospel so sweetly treats of this was a stumbling block to my soul thus was my trouble greatly increased wherein Saâ—an was very busie to destroy the comforts I had formerly had None could I find to declare my trouble so malitious was the fire brand of hell to cause several jealousies in the hearts of people what might be the cause of my trouble and as Daevid saies my humbling becaâ—e a reproach unto mâ— I cared not for company but most to be aloue in which I did contemplate the sweetness of his Divine Mercy yet desiring the Lord would ease me of my burden which I thought to be very great often should I sit and bewail my sad condition and be ready with Job to curse the day of my biâ—th yet in this my distress the Lord was pâ—eased to bring me to his feet then would I come with tears and offer up my poor supâ—licâ—tions before the Lord where I found my heart much inlarged beâ—ng affected with the love of God to sinners and carried out much upon those words call upon the Lord and he wiâ—l hear thee he is nigh unâ—o aâ—l that call upon him to deliver them ouâ— of trouble and many more sweet and seasonable Scriptures was the Lord pleased graâ—iously to bring into my remembrance and powerfully to apply unto my heart which made me go often unto the Lord and spread my condition before the Throne of his Grace having much incouragement to hope in his mercy thus did I find much comfort and sweetness in my secret communion with the Lord and found much ease in my troubles which I took aâ— gratious returns of my poor broken prayers and was much carried out to trust in him and to wâ—it upon him then could I sit and call to remembrance the mercies of old as a tender and a loving father who nourished up my poor soul which made me exceedingly admire the infinite riches of his Grace and the freeness of his love in Christ Jesus to my poor Souls which made me often cry out Lord what am I that thou shouldst take such notice of a poor creature that thou shouldest cast thine eye of love upon me though the Devil would yet be busie and often cast into my thoughts doubtful fear what was there in me should cause the Lord to pitty me and indeed I could do nothing in my self which began to increase my trouble yet I remembred it was the saying of David when my father and my Mother forsook me then the lord would look upon me this did at first revive me but then I considered David was a holy man after Gods own heart how dare I to lay claim to any thing belonged to him Thus was my base distrustful heart exercised with vaâ—iâ—â—y of temptaâ—ions by the Devil as to distrust the goodness of the Lord and to rob my soul of the comforts he was pleased many times to come in withall many times has the Lord been pleased to come in by a Sermon to my soul and as it were spake unto my present condiâ—ion but oh how dull have I been to remember and how did my unworthy walking cause those blessed truths to slip out of my mind yet was the Lord in mercy pleased to keep my heart sincere before him to plead for mercy for the Lords sake for whose sake he was gratiously pleased to continue his tender and compassionate love unto me The sweet experiences of the tender love of God to my Soul at Mrs. W. at School THen was the Lord pleased in much bounty to appear very gratious to my poor Soul and drawed out my heart much to long after the knowledge of his waies now being yet under the old way of Worship I bâ—sought the Lord truly to convince my Judgement as well as my affâ—â—ctions of the way which is of his own setting up but for a small time the Lord was pleased yet to leave me to my self that I found my self at a loss being dead and dull yet performing outward duties but with
little spiritual life and my heart also was carried out after vanities then I found that I had lost the former sweet incombs of the Lord and the refreshings of this blessed spirit and was as one luâ—led a sleep by the deceitful inchantments of Satan and malitious devices O wicked and decâ—iâ—ful â—eaâ—t how couldst thou so soon forget such bondage delivered from such 〈◊〉 aâ— the Devil had so often got thee into how soon hast thou forgot the God of all thy mercies how hast thou made the Lord to serve with thy sins Yet once more was the Lord pleased to call me out of my benumbed conditions and shewed how I was running my self into my own destruction Oh the goodness of the Lord who never dâ—d leave me but to see my oâ—n in aâ—ility to live without his heâ—p then did the Lord in mercy convince me of the emptiâ—ess of all Earthly vanities and also of that way of formal worship that it was a dead carnal lifeless thing under which my soul couâ—d not prosper and so growing weary of it more and more at length besought the Lord to guide my poor iâ—norant Soul which was so easie to be led away with every wicked and â—ubâ—ile device of â—atan my heart desired much to hear goâ—d men and when I could with convenience which some took notice of and said I was one whom the Apostle speaks of having iâ—chiâ—g ears ever lâ—arning c. â—his did muâ—h afflict me about which the Lord was pleased to give me a heart to seeâ— him and that earnestly for his assistance in the knowledge of his truth One more experience of the providence of God appeared unto me as an incouragement to trust in his mercy and to wait upon him by prayer for all things I had at that time a distemper upon me of which I saw no hope of cure yet one day particularly being in a serious meditation of the infinite goodness of the Lord toward me the Lord was pâ—eased to direct my eye upon a place of Scripâ—ure where I found the woman coming to the Lord confessing that she had â—pent aâ—l she hâ—d â—o be cuâ—ed of her Infirmity and one touch of Christs garment had done it from thence may not I come trembling that have received so many testimonies of his love tryed so many medcines before I came unto the Lord or looâ—ed up to him for help then did I bewail my unpâ—ofitableness yet went unto the Lord in the language of the Lepper and said Lord if thâ—u wilt thou canst make me clean who was not deaf to my poor request but in some small time was gratiously pleased as I may say without means wholy to clear me of it this mercy carried up my heart more to praise the Lord then any yet I had received who notwithstanding all my weaknesses and sinfulnesses was gratiously pleased to follow me with many mercys Of further discoveries of Christ Then was the Lord pleased in his gratious Providence to remove me to a place in H. Sh. where I had much more advantage of means and helps for my poor Soul VVHere the Lord was pleased to give me through his grace a little more insight into the mind â—f Christ evidencing himself to be a God graâ—ious and merciful abundant in gâ—odnâ—ss c. I was filled with admiration to see the holy glorious God abase himself to so poor a wretchless Creature as I then was I cryed out with earnest desires and longings after more of the knowledge of this God but here came I under strong temptations Satan was powerful in raising up of spiritual Pride but the Lord whose goodness never failled me did then take care for me thou O Lord who broughtest me out of the Pit of despair O suffer me not to climb up to the Mount of Presumption then was the Lord pleased in the tenderness of his love to convince me that the poor in Spirit were heirs of the Kingdom that the lowly Soul was his habitation then I besought God begging at the Throne of Grace for the assistance of his gratious Spirit without which I could do nothing and that he would humble me even to the dust that so my Soul might not loose the sight of that Glory revealed in the face of Jesus Christ This the Lord was gratiously pleased to grant and sweetly bring me to see a riches in Christ Jesus and that this was more to be desired then all the treasures upon Earth The longings of her Soul after Church Fellowship and all the Ordinances of Christ THen did I long after God and the injoyment of him in his own way and said Lord thou hast made me O lead me in that way wherein I may bring most glory to thy self I durst â—ot trust my own judgement but resign'd my self unto his will and continued my petitions at tâ—e â—hrone of Grace and at length he was pleased gâ—atiâ—usâ— to answer my poor prayer â—lessâ—d be â—hy name O Lord O let my Soul be inlarged in thy pâ—aâ—ses One day the Lord was pleased by a strange providence to cast me into the company of one that I never saw before but of a sweet and free disposition and whose discourse savour'd so much of the Gospel that I could not but at that instant bless God for his goodness in that providence it pleased the Lord to carry out our hearts much towards one another at that time and a little while after the Lord was pleased to bring us together again for the space of three dayes in which time it pleased God by our much converse together to establish and confirm me more in the desires I had to jâ—yn with the people of God in socâ—ety and enjoy Communion with them according to the order of the Gospel she was of a society of the Congregational way called Iudependants and gave me so clear a demonstration of their wayes that upon considerations and searching of the Scripture for the understanding of which learnestly besought the Lord I was cleerly convinc't in my judgment that this was the way which came nearest to the ruâ—e of the Gospel and the commands of Christ then were our hearts firmâ—y united and â— blessed the Lord from my soul for so glorious and vâ—sible an appearance of his love for I had many sweet refreshments given me at that time when she was gone I was sensible of the great mercy the Lord had been pleased to show me but in an instance snatcht it from me again at which I began to be troubled but aâ—ter a few reflections to this purpose why do I not patiently submit to the will of my Father who knows what is best for me my soul was again filled with hungrings and thirstings after God for a more clear and full inâ—oyment of him and that in that bâ—essed ordinance appointed for a seal to coâ—fiâ—m the Covenant he hatâ— gratiously made through hiâ— dear Son with aâ—l believers this was at a time when the Lord was pleased as to
even from my Youth and if my deceitful heart deceive me not I dare appeal unto thee for the sincerity of it oh that thou wouldest make me usefull to thee in that way or any way thou shalt be pleased to choose that I might glorifie thy great and holy Name Sweet Discoveries of the Love of God in Jesus Christ Oh how good a God have I who is pleased every day to bear up my Soul with the sweet influâ—nces of his gratious Spirit and pretious incomes of his tender Love O how could I sit and meditate of thy loving kindness all the day long where can I find any comfort in this World but in thy presence there have I Lord indeed through thy Grace found a fulness of Joy a time of endless pleasures O what am I or what is my Fathers House that I should be the daughter to a King that I a worm a poor detestable creature madâ— up with clay and dust nay worse then a worm they being creatures which shall prey upon me for that I am aâ—pointed for their food yet that the Lord of Hosts the Holy One of Israel the High and Mighty God the King of Glory the King of Kings who is a King over the whole Earth should yet be pleased thus to abase himself as to have thoughts of love for such a poor unworthy wâ—etched creature as I am oh how unworthy am I of thy favours yet Lord because thou hast bâ—d me hope in thy mercy I dare do no otherwise nay Lord thou hast commanded me to believe Loâ—d I believe pardon my unbelief that should in any ways cause me in the least to distrust the riches of thy Grace or thy unspeakable goodness which is thy Glory since thou art pleased dear Lord to make a worm the object of thy grace Oh let my Soul injoy these sweet transcendant pleasures which lye discovered to my soul in the rich treasury of thy unbounded love whilst others take their fill of Worldly vanities When I considered the sinfulness of my nature my weaknesses my frailtyes and my many infirmities oh what is there in me should ever cause the Lord to pitty me or yet to continue his favour to me in so â—aspeakable a manner N my Soul bless thou the Lord for Jesus Christ in whom the Lord is pleased richly to look upon thee O happy is the soul that is born up by such a support how wretched had my soul been had not the Lord laid help on one who is mighty hadst not thou had the Lord to be thy Saviour Christ the dear son of God to be thy Redeemer O blessed be the Lord and blessed be my Rock who hath thus looked upon sinful mankind and thus loved the Sons of Men as to give his only dearly beloved Son to dye for such poor miserable wretches as I O the wonderful goodness of God the transcendant and unspeakable riches of his grace in Jesus Christ O my Soul canst thou but be filled with holy admiration at the infiniteness of his Glory the unspeakable and transcendant beauty of thy dear Redeemer this indeed is rich mercy That the Lord should come into the World and give his life a ransome for poor sinners but that thou shouldest be one for whom the Lord was pleased to leave his glory to take upon him the habit of a servant the nature of a sinful man that thou shouldest be one for whom the Lord became himself a curse to redeem thee from the curse that was due to thee and from that which there was no Redemption but through the blood of that pure and spotless Lamb that Christ the Son of God should give himself to dye a shameful death for thee that thou mightest live that thou mightest be partaker of those glorious benefits and gratious priviledges which came by him O my soul that thou should be one to whom such exceeding love is shown O my soul how doth the love of Christ constrain thee to love him O my poor unworthy soul how art thou bound for ever to admire and only aim at and seek the glory of thy dear Redeemer O my dear Redeemer how is my poor unworthy heart carried out to admire thy dear and tender love Lord if to injoy the Communion with thy Saints and people here on earth be such a glorious priviledge which thou hast made my soul to long after O then what is it to injoy Communion with thy Saints and Angels to all Eternity in the presence of my Lord and Saviour What darkness can Eclipse that glory or rather will not that glory quite put out that glory which the World but falsly yeilds what is all the glory of the World or all the Kingdoms of the Earth compared to the apprehention of a Heavenly Kingdom in the soul here much less to the full injoyment of it to all Eternity What is all the glory of the world but poor empty husks poor deceitful vanities a very lie which at the best makes but ashamed but Lord how glorious art thou in the beauties of holiness my Soul hath found enough in thee to fill it with a holy admiration O that I might forever be admiring of thy glory what are the treasures of the earth poor low base things that we should have our hearts so much carried after them What is it the hearts of the World runs out so much after is if there was their greatest happiness Is it not that they may gain abundance of riches and what are they when they are gotten but thorns to put out their own eyeâ— they â—oyl and labour hard in the woâ—ld â—or that which is at best of no induring substance and if they make a shift to keep it whilst they continue here yet at the Grave this the great happiness must leave them O misserabâ—e are they whose chiefest good consists in worldly vanities what is all the treasure upon Earth to that in esteemable Riches which are only to be found in Jesus Christ of how much greater value is that one pearl of great price then all the Pearls and Diamonds aâ—d the richest treasure upon earth Lord fill thou my heart with Heavenly Treasure and let my Soul be rich in grace oh tâ—at iâ— might be such in which I might bring glory to thy Name Meditations upon my Saviours Love HOw excellent a thing is Love how doth it adorn a Christian and comes most near the Image of a loving Saviour never was any love like to his love he loved us not because we first loved him no we were enemies yet even then he loved us and had compassion on us O the riches of divine Love see the sweet indearments of a loving Saviour greater love can no man show then to lay down his life for his friends yea but our dear Lord said down his life for us when we were enemies and from being enemies he is pleased to stile us friends and not only so but behold what manner of love the Father hath
upon those glorious objects let Christ be all in all to thee that thou having nothing in thy self might see thy ALL in him and fetch thine ALL from him O blessed be that fountain in whom all fullness yea everlasting fulness dwells Meditations on the 11th Ch. of Matthew verse 28 29 30. See here O Soul the pretious invitations of a glorious Christ Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest c. WHo is it the Lord invites is it not poor distressed sinners O it is such he calls to tast his mercies loe every one that thirsteth come and come freely these tenders of my Love these are the tenders of Love the Soul satisfying comforts come unto me bring hither thy wearied soul though laden with iniquities I will give thee rest cast thy burthen upon me O merciful Redeemer that art thus pleased for the good of man to bear the burthen of our sins those loads of Iniquities which we should have sunk under in wrath to all Erernity But since the Lord hath in his wisdom in his goodness in the abundant riches of his Grace been pleased to be the sinners friend O let it be of great use unto my soul who am the greatest of sinners 't is thou who seest my wearyed tired Soul O blessed be thy holy Name for the riches of this grace thy unspeakable Love that wilt not despise the poorest nor unworthy soul that neeâ—s thy help although they cannot crave it nor dare not lift up their eyes unto the Throne of thy Grace yet wilt thou be gratious unto whom thou wilt be gratious and because thy tender compâ—ssions fail not therefore thou art pleased to have mercy upon me a poor wretched creature ah to thy name be glory and let my soul dear Lord for ever live thy praise for thou alone canst work that frame upon my heart that only pleaseth thee O 't is into thy gratious hands I would commit my soul work in it Lord thy will since I am thine through grace O let me live no longer to my self for thou art my strength by which work O Lord in me such a child like frame of spirit as becomes thine to yeild thee in true obedience with holy fear O let the Image of my Lord be formed in me that so in his light I may see light that I may be filled with joy and comfort and may have something to suâ—port me in an evil day a day of tryal and temptation My soul O meditate upon the unbounded love of God in Christ thy Lord and the Lord in the abundant riches of his Grace in abâ—e thee with a sincere heart and sound judgement to apply these sweet soul experienced comforts and relishes of Love wherewith thou hast through grace been comforted often and since prayer and Meditations is the way to make safe the soul when Satan with his subtle Engines seeks to batter Lord let him not prevail but let thy grace be now sufficient for me and now my soul tast here feed upon the sweetness of this call Come unto me it may be thou hast said thy sins are many and thou darest not come an but consider who it is that calls thee is it not Christ thy Lord yet he commands thee because thy sins are many and thou art troubled with the weight of them therefore come leave not thy sins behind thee for that thou canst not do but bring them to the feet of Christ thy Saviour he in his grace will ease the burthen wherewith thy soul was laden and give thee a blessed exchange even his own righteousness imputed to thee so hast thou found a righteousness in him made thine by which being cloathed thou hast access unto the Throne of Grace and shalt find favour with thy God yea the Lord will be thine everlasting Righteousness and though thou art polluted and defiled with sin and corruption yet in Righteousness were thou called and Christ will cloath thy naked Soul with his Righteousness a garment without spot or blemish O come and come daily at his call give no time to Satan to cast it in thy Teeth that thou shalt one day perish through the mulâ—itude of thine iniquities for Christ is mighty and of power to save unto the utmost and though thou canst see nothing in thy self but that which might bring eternal wrath upon thy head every moment yet here is thy comfort in that he hath accepted thee in the beloved for whose sake he can deny thee nothing and therefore O Lord to thee be Glory for ever who in thy love and tender compassion to my poor Soul hast delivered it from the pit of corruption For thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back O that my Soul made living by thy Grace might ever praise thee who is it calls me O my Soul behold the Lamb of God made Man to take away the sins of the World Christ Jesus the eternal Son of God dis-throned himself to be a Saviour of poor sinful Man lost and undone Man for whom there was no way of Redemption but by him and by him alone O here is love indeed Behold I come says he to do thy will O God he was willing to come from heaven to earth from Glory to be cloathed with flesh the garment of sinful man and all that thou mayest be cloathed with Glory immortality eternal life Behold O my Soul be filled with holy admiration with what manner of Love the father hath loved us that so we should we sinners be called the Children of the great and Holy God a God who inhabitest eternity whose dwelling is in the highest heavens who is the King of Glory and being come to call poor sinners co repentance through the eternal wisdom of the father perfected redemption by taking our natures upon him he who knew no sin became sin for us that we should be made in him partakers of the Righteousness which is by faith in his blood he hath paid thy debts and cancelled thy bonds he is become thy surety and has broken down that pertition wall which was between thee and thy fathers Glory hath made a way that new and living way through his own blood to approach the Throne of Grace and is there now making intercession for thee O blessed is that Soul whose iniquities thou hast covered and whose sin thou hast pardoned and blessed be that Soul to whom thou in grace shalâ— be pleased to impute no sin for how great O Lord are our dayly sinnings against thee the least of which were enough to separate this poor immortal Soul of mine for ever from thy gratious presence but 't is thy grace which makes thy unworthy creature hope and the unchangeableness of thy most glorious will O therefore it is such poor unworthy sinful creatures were not long ago consumed O blessed be God for thy grace and thy long suffering mercy whereby thou bearest and hast pitty on thy poor redeemed
therefore know thy duty in it but rejoice in as much as ye are partakers of Christs sufferings that when his glory shall be revealed ye mâ—â— be glad also with exceeding joy And in another place if you suffer with him you shall also Reign with him and let none of you suffeâ— aâ— an evill doer at a Mâ—â—derer thiefe or as a busie body in other mens matters yet if any man suffer as a Christian cleaâ—ly on that account let him not be a shamed â—ut let him glorifie God on this behalf for the time is coming that judgâ—ment must begin at the house of God and if it first begin at us what shall the end bâ— of them thaâ— obey not the Gospell of God and if the righteous scaâ—cely be saved where shall the ungodly and siners apear Wherefore let them â—hat suffer accordiâ—g to the will of God commit the keeping of their Souls to him in well doing as unâ—o a faithful Creator through grace I desire to pitch my Soul â—n everlasting faithfullnâ—ss by which I trust I shall be kept in even walking in his own paths be they never so rugged yet if I meet my Lord I shall do well his gratious presence makes every condition sweet and though this poor piâ—gramage represents nothing but thorns aâ—d bryers it will be recompensed with an eternity of glory A place where no sorrow shall be known but fulness of joy add pleasure and the compâ—eat injoyment of thy Lord for ever therefore O Lord into thy gratious care I do commit my self my Soul and spirit Lord fit me for thy will and let me only fear thy righteous judgements and be sound trembling at thy word so shall I be kept faithfull unto the end Sparks of Divine Love Love is a heavenly fire fetcht from above Irradiant beams shot from the God of Love Unâ—er those blessed shines my Soul abide Let all thy paces there be multiply'd In firength and beauty there to rest secure Through Love divine which ever shall indure Hast thou dear Lord such great things done for me And shall I not give up my heart to thee â—oo poor a thing yet Lord since 't is my All O take it Lord though it be poor and small O take it Lord by purchase it is thine Let me not any longer call it mine Nor set it on poor fond things here below Which vainly are but actors of a show Or feigâ—'d objects painted ore delights Appear a little and pass from our sights Vain shadows of a poor short Sunny day While â—e peruse them quickly fly away A praising Soul Lord shall a heaven born Soul forget to sing Eternal praises to her Lord and King Shall she be one that seemeth not to know The hand from which her mercies still do flow O quicken Lord thy servant O that she May have her life all praises unto thee O t is a life of praises thou wouldst have Thy poor redeemed ones return to thee Give Lord what thou art pleased from them to crave Of thy own store what thou acceptest must be Then my dear Lord I shall not cease to sing The Song of Canaan unto Israels King Though in a Land so far and strange I be As destitute of what I would injoy Let me by faith my Native Country see And not forsake my treasure for a toy O blessed be thy name which still doth keep My droâ—sie soul which else would ever sleep And loose its glorious comforts sweet delights Which in the presence of its Lord is found Those Heavenly Glories and transcendant sights In which to empty souls Grace doth aboundi O glorious Grace let my soul still admire And warm it self at this blest Heavenly fire O shall I grieve that glorious spirit which Is pleased to bow and condescend so low Thus to a poor unworthy sinful wretch How is it Lord that I thy Grace should know And that thou shouldest be pleased to look on me So as redeem me from such misery A hymne of free grace What shall I do my soul shall I then speak Or shall I let my heart through silence break Should I be dumb then sure stones would cry Me shame and magnifie the Lord on high Who doth his riches wonderful bestow On such pâ—oâ— wormâ— as crawleth here below But now to praise him would I fain begin Who is my God my Lord and eke my King Who in his goodness hath done more for me Then can with admiration spoken be O though I would I want both power and art For to express what lâ—es within my heart But since it is the heart Lord thou wouldest have Acceptance is the thing I only crave Receive it Lord O that I could aspire Into thy aâ—ms which is my Souls desire On wings of faith and Soaring acts of Love Oh in the Clefts behold me as thy Dove My sweetest Lord help me to sing thy praâ—se And tell the world the wonders of thy grace Shall I be dumb and live henceforth as one To whom such favor never had been shown Then were I sure unworthy ere to live But Lord what 's wanting thou canst quickâ—y give Both tongue and heart that daily I may bring Of sweetest Odour my poor offering Let my soul bless the Lord with all delight Of thy glory have a daily sight Goodness and mercy that do so excel O in its fillings my Soul still dwell The ocean of his love so sweet and pure Which shall to all eternity indure What greater good unto my soul can bring Then singing praises to my Lord and King Lord take and keep me there why shall we part T is thy own hand must hold my feeble heart A short dialogue between flesh and spirit Flesh Fond foul what â—ileth thee thus low to deem Our pleasure and our comforts here below And that thou dost so highly them estâ—em As if thou didst not care such things to know Is it not better mirth for to injoy Which maketh fat the bones and glads the heart Then in thy musings thus thy self annoy At last perswaded he with them to part Spirit Fond fleshly part this all thou hast to say Cease now with all spetious flattering speech And never think by all thy pleas to sway A soul that now is got above thy reach All thy suggestions I cannot approve Seeing in earth thy comforts all do lye But I much live in flames of heavenly love With heavenly comforts which will never dye What are your pleasures that you count so great But very froths and bubbles in the wind What can they do for you at mercies seat Or can you true contentment in them find Indeed your fleshly eâ—es cannot behold These Jewels of most rich and glorious worth That pearl of price that City of pure Gold And therefore think to set yeur pleasures forth Poor Soul alass why dost thou cavil so My comforts come from a far greater spring Then are the puffs of mirth which you would know Whilst I desire the love of Christ my
Grace hath experienced and that alone hath put me upon this according to the measure wherewith the Lord hath inabled me to desire the good and eternal welfare of the Souls of my dear Brothers and Sisters and as we are all one in flesh and blood oh that it were the will of the Lord that we might be all of one and the same spirit sanctified by faith through the blood of Jesus Christ and it may be as I hope it will a Sisters counsel which hath experimentally tasted the wonderful goodness of God may work yet more upon you through the operation of his good spirit therefore suffered me to say it is good to seek the Lord whilst he may be found to call upon him whilst be is near Oh that I could perswade you to lay hold on time whilst the day lasteth not to resist the tenders of Grace when they be offered to you least they be hid from your eyes it is only the infinite wisdom goodness and mercy of God which only causeth him to look upon such sad wretched rebellious creatures as we are who could of stones raise up Children to praise him he hath no need of us nor our services but the need we had of a Saviour hath caused him to look upon us when no eye pittâ—ed us and in his infinite wisdom found ouâ— a means of deliverance even the dear son of his love whom he hath given to be broken bruised suffer death and become a curse for poor sinners that he might redeem them from the curse of the Law but this priviledge doth not belong to all sinners in general but to such who by a lively faith lay hold upon this crucified Christ else they who are sinners will be sinners still they shall dye in their sins and the wrath of God will be upon them to all Eternity great is the misery of a Christless and gracâ—less soul being an enemy to God then how can God be otherwise then an enemy to it Oh how can a soul rest in such a condition as this what peace can they have Doth it not then behove every soul to be earnest in searc hing to find out the true estate of his soul knowing for a truth they being the words of our Saviour that unless a man be born again he cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven till they are regenerated become new creatures in Christ putting off the old man with his deeds and putting on the new man which is after the spirit in righteousness and true â—oliness and this is all to be done by an interest in Christ that so his righteousness may become ours and all those priviledges of grace and mercy which he hath purchased may be imputed to us through the blood of his Cross and so by being in Covenant with the Father through the Son we shall have all things Oh what a blessed state is it to be in Covenant with the great God of Heaven and Earth Oh what a depth of Love iâ— it and how great a comfort is it to a poor soul covered over with a leprosie to see a Phâ—sitian not only able but willing to cure him for a poor lost creature which sees himself undone in himself by reason of the vast guilt and debt which lies upon him the shame which lies upon his soul by reason thereof As not daring to lift up his eyes to heaven when he shall not see only his debts paid but also Christ his advocate pleading with the Father in his behalf oh here lies the Souls true happiness and here is a believers comfort that Christ died not only for sinners but for me a sinner what is this to me or what comfort can it bring me to have a notion as most of the World hath that Christ died for sinners and I am one amongst the rest and therefore I hope to be saved by Christ had I no greater evidence for heaven my condition would surely be ever miserable but blessed be God it is otherwise with me and certainly if it were not my soul would be in a very restless condition oh did but any of you know what it is to be in a state of Grace you would surely see a sweet change you would look over and lament the many pretious hours you have let go in seâ—king after vanity and in the mean while lost so much sweetness and comfort as is to be had in the knowledge of God ways which are the things only delightful having substance and reality and can only proffit the Soul All other things are meer shaddows empty husks which cannoâ— satisfie the Soul these things which appear so pleasing to you now would when bâ— Grace you come to see the evil of them be the objects of your hatred there is nothing so gloriâ—us so sweet and so lovely as is the Lord Jesus he is aâ—together lovely to a gratiouâ— Soul who has tasted of divine goodness and hath been refreshed with the sweet streams of his Love which had you once but tasted you would surely see all earthly injoyments but poor vain things and count them all as nothing yea worse then nothing in comparrison of that hidden treasure that unsearchable riches which is laid up in the Lord Jesus and shall â—e revealed in his Saints oh that the Lord would incline your hearts to consider and weigh these things in your mind which is it better that your bodies should for a moment of time injoy the deceitful pleasures in this World then that your immortal Soulâ—s should injoy those transcendant and certain pleasures which shall never fade those heavenly Mansions of eternal rest which those Souls shall find who are in Christ at the last day and shall live in the presence of their dear redeemer for ever where the Soul shall never find more trouble but be ever praising the Loâ—d and singing HALâ—LE-LUJAHS to the King of Sainâ—â— oh how glorious a time will this be who is it then that would not be content with Balaam to dye the death of the righteous but unless we live the life of the righteous our latter end would not be so if Christ be not in us we are reprobaâ—es we lye under the heavy Wrath of an angry God and as it were dropping into hell every moment there ro receive the just reward of our doings in eternal distruction from which there is no redemption in a Lake which burneth with brimstone and fire and never goeth out is not assurance better then suspence is it not good to have assurance aâ—ways about us that when we shall come to render up our Souls at what timesoever they are required of us we may have nothing to do but resign it unto our fathers bosom Oh presume not in thy own supposed goodness Nothing but Christs blood could purchase Redemption and if by a lively faith thou canst lay hold on him thou shalt be made partaker of Christ and his benefits his righteousness made over to thee Then mayest thou with
boldness thorough Christ have â—câ—eâ—s unto the throne of Grace and through the Son injoy communion with the Father being related to God having him to be thy Father bâ—ing a member of Christ being bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh the temple of the Holy Ghost the Spirit of God dwelling in you and is God thy Father then consider who 't is is pâ—eased to own thee for a child not a man no nor the best of men would you not think it great honour to be the Son of some Noble Man much more if you were Son to a King is it honour to be Son to an earthly King an will you count it no glory to be Son to the King of Kings will you give honour to an earthly King and will you not honour him by whom Kings Reign surely if God becomes thy Father he deserves honour from such a poor wretched creature as thou art consider the transcendant love and iâ—finite wisdom of the great God in calling all out of the world if thou belong to him he will look on thee when thou art in thy blood when thou art covered over with a Leprosy of sin and corruption and no eye pittied thee when thou wert dead then he saith lâ—ve ye being an enemy he reconciled to himself through the Blood of his own Son the Son of his love in whom he was well pleased in whom he delighted in whom there was no sin neither guile found in his Mouth yet this was the infinite unspeakable Love of God to poor sinners and for our sakes was the Lord of glory willing to come down out of the Bosom of his Father into the Circle of corruped earth to disrobe himself of his gloâ—y and take upon him sinful flesh nay he took upon him the form of a Servant and â—umbled hâ—mself unto deaâ—h even thae cursed death of the Cross that he might exalt thee and purchase for thee a crown of Glory what heart is there but a heart of stone that these charractors of Gods unspeakable Love cannot make impression upon have you seen the Love of God in Christ and not been touched with a lively sence of so infinite a mercy have you experienced it is any wise and not found the love of Christ to be a constraining Love surely those that have tasted the gratious sweetness of the Lord will be filled with a holy admiration and will have a heart full of breathings after those Heavenly visions and long for a more intire Communion with the Father of mercies and the God of Love But these seem to be strange things to a carnal Soul they are not to be seen with the eyes of flesh but by the eye of faith through the opperation of the Spirit the holy spirit of God the holy Ghost the comforter which our Saviour promised to send to his disciples and with them the whole elect of God now did we but consider the miserableness of our condition by nature being dead duâ—l blockish having no life or sence at all in any spiritull action yet that the Lord should awaken such out of the graves of there sins and reveal the righteousness of Christ unto them who can but admire the infinite goodness of our God now when this spirit of God workes it comes with power discovering sin and teaching the Soul to deny all ungodlyness and sinfull lusts and to live righteously and soberly in this present evill world the Soul is convinced of siin before of righteousness Christ came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance who will seek to a physitian that is not senâ—able of any want he have of him be that thinks himself most secure hath the most need of help Laâ—dicea said she was rich and full and needed nothing when Christ found her poor blind and naked and she knew not not her miserable condition being destitute and wholy wanting When we see our selves at a loss O whether shall we go but unto Christ who is infinitely able to save unto the utâ—eâ—most all that by faith come unto him let us not dispaire for God is faithfull who hath promised and his word shall stand for ever let us fly unto the throne of his graee by that new and living way which he hath found out and appointed for the eternall comfort of poor sinners even the Lord Jesus Christ the Lord of glory and the Son of his love that whosoever truly repents from his heart and by faith lares hold upon him shaâ—l not perish but have everlasting liâ—e O let us admire the infinite goodness of the â—ord and dilligently inquire whether we have ever had this change effectuall wrought in us or no have we the shâ—mtâ—mbes of a new born Soul in us then we shall â—ee what cause we have to magnifie the riches of his grace in calling us from the world unto himself by his holy spirit that hath not suffered us to lye buryed under the ruins of our own sins out of which we cannot come without the drâ—wings of God and the greatness of the mercy wiâ—l heighten our praise when we consider the infinite number of dead Souls on the right hand and on the left and yet that the Lord should please in a more perticular manner gratiously to look upon us A Heaven born Soul as new born babe desires the sincere milke of the word that it may grow thereby which being fed upon through the power of the spirit is able to bring the Soul into a perfect state in Christ Jesus who is the word of life and the express image of his fathers person A new creature finds in himself a wonderful change every faculty of his soul is changed Christ died to redeem us to himself from the world from our vain conversations As well to sanctâ—fie us as to save us that we should live no longer to our selves but to him that hath bought us and purchased to himself a peeular people zâ—aâ—ous of Good Works that he might reign as a King in our hearts who is the King of righteousenss and who has commanded us to be holy as he is hâ—ly without which there is no seeing of the face of a holy God and siâ—ce it is onely Love and new obediance which proceed from Love that the Lord of Glory hath required of us in return of those unspeakable tokâ—ns of hiâ— Lovâ— to us O what are we or what is our Love that we should not think all we have two little for so good a God that we should not willingly render unto the Lord our ALL is nothing at all what is good is of the Lord not ours and his but just that he should have his own O then let us not keep back any part of what the Lord hath required of us but let us turn to him with the whole heart for it is his by purchase and though he hath in mercy afforded us greater comforts for our use it is not that our hearts should be taken up in them
ones O then my Soul fly thou unto the Throne of Grace Loose not so great an opportunity of coming to thy Saviour refuse not so great love tendred unto thee the bearing so great a burthen the weight of which would sink thee down into the bottomless pit of eternal perdition under the heavy wrath of God there to have perished to all eternity O the unfathomed and transcendant love of thy God and Heavenly Father O my Soul how canst thou read and not live ever in the meditations of such great and glorious Love as this where with the Lord hath loved thee he was content to give himself a ransome unto death to satisfie the Justice of his Father and to regain that favour for thee which thou by sin hadst lost he was content not only to forsake the bosom of his father to empty himself of all his glory but to come down upon this sinful earth he who was the glory of the whole world was content to confine himself in a Virgins Womb he who had possession of the utmost parts of the earth was now content with a poor lodging in a stable he who is a King of Glory was pâ—eased to take upon him the form and habit of a servant and all for thee he was content to be come poor and low that thou through his poverty mightest become rich he who with one blast of his Nostrils could have consumed at once his enemies was now content to be scourged buffeted spit upon crowned with Thorns and all this to purchase life for sinners he who was equal with God the express image of his fathers person he the Son of God the dearly beloved of his Soul was sweetly content to bear the scoffs and base reproaches of sinful maâ—e and prayed for them Father forgive them for they know not what they do this the Lord Jesus was pleased to undergo for thee nor is this all but O those bloody sweats which run down his tender cheeks for thy hard heart those terrible agonies of Soul he felt having the whole wrath of God due unto thee and the world of sinners poured forth upon himself being smitten as with the strokes of an enemy which made him cry out my God my God why hast thou forsaken me these are the gratious evidences of the Love of God to these poor sinful Souls and thus hateful is sin in the eyes of a holy God as not to spare it in his dear and only Son who never sinned but in that he took upon him our sins he must also bear our punishment he himself bear our iniquities in his own body upon the tree he became a curse for thee to redeem thee from the curse of the Law this was the love of thy Saviour O behold the Love of thy Redeemer how powerful and constraining is this Love was ever any Love like this Hardly shall we see a Man lay down his Life for us when we were enemies to be buried in a Grave that with him thy sins might be buried in everlasting forgetfulness he rose again that in him thou mightest be glorified and to prepare a place for thee in endless Glory where he is now at the right hand of God making intercession for thee who would not have an Interest in this Christ who would not be in union with this Saviour O Soul tast and behold the goodness of this Lord in whom it hath pleased the Father all fulness should dwell Oh the sweet constraining power of his transcendant Love who loved thee when thou wert miserable to make thee happy O who would not fear thee O thou King of Naâ—ions and now what hath thy glorified Redeemer thy Lord required of thee for all his love to thee he caused thee to cast thy burden upon him when weary and heavy laden and imposeth nothing upon thee but a sweet and easie yoke take my yoke upon you be intressed in my Love what is this yoke but a sweet complacency of love in uniting of the parties loving Soul saith the Lord of Lords give me thy sins and take my self to be thy Saviour take my yoke on thy neck that so thou mayest become in union with me thou maist become mine and I thine as my tender Spouse Lord what are we poor empty sinful creatures that thou shou dest thus condescend to woe invite intreat such poor despicable creatures who mightest command us by thy power to do whatever pleaseth thee O were it not the infinite goodness of our God to poor sinful man thou mightest have left us to have perished in our iniquities and raised up children of the stones to praise thee O sweet condescending love for us to be yoked in your affections unto thee and from enemies become thus thy friends to receive the yoke of Christ it is to receive the love and commands of Christ and be united as a branch unto the vine by which thou doest injoy true Spiritual communion with thy God what happiness like this how great and many are the priviledges that come by him O blessed be God for this love and the eternal riches of his grace in effecting and calling thee to so great an eternal weight of glory O had it not been through free grace what benefit couldest thou have had of this most glorious redemption by Jesus Christ what power couldest thou have had to come and cast thy self at his feet uâ—der the weight of thy sins it was free grace that led the out to see thine own insufficency unto any thing that was good and thy miserable condition without a Christ O was it not free grace and mercy by which the Lord was pleased to draw thereby the cords of love unto the Lord Jesus by whom a lone thou hast redemption O what hadest thou been and what had been thy life had it not been for this sweet crown of all thy comforts therefore O Lord to thee be glory for the riches of thy grace by which my soul is yet alive to praise thee and blessed be thy mercy for it is great to me poor miserable sinner what are the priviledges thou injoyest through this sweet union with thy Saviour O surely they are enough to make rhee live for ever in the meditations of them who can fathome that bottomless Ocean O how canst thou comprehend that which is in comprehensible this love which passeth understanding into which the more thou searchest the more thou admirest O what canst thou say but be filled with holy admiration to behold with what manner of Love the Father the omnipotent King of Kings and the eternal Lord who reigns in endless Glory hath loved thee Meditations on the great mistery of Godliness O how great is the mistery of Godliness in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ HOw wonderful excellent of how great concern to know him aright Help thou my Soul dâ—ar Lord to meditate on this swâ—â—â— incomprehensible subject O fill it with this Rich and Heavenly Treasure O let me not
thou part with him on any terms surely thou hast not loved him for Loaves only but for that excellency the Father hath cloathed him with the fear of man brings a snare but he that trusteth in the Lord shall be safe man says thou shalt not doe this c. t is disobedience to commands of men and the Issue of it will be either prison Banishment or death but the spirit of God says pay thy vows though it come in competition with thy very life for he that loveth his Father Mother c. Ye his very life better then me is not worthy of me and he that taketh not up his Cross to follow me cannot be my disciple then surely t is better disobeying man on earth then to be found an offender of the Majesty on high the waies of Christ are still the same good waies in persecution and they were in peace nor are they a whit the less disowned by Christ for being disallowed of man the soul that truly is established in Gospel truths is upon a sure foundation and owning Christ to be his Lord and King gives the honour due unto his King his Lord and Law giver As thy redeemer as thy saviour as a mediator now in heaven interceeding for thee as thy Lord and King as one who being fully interested in the fathers love and in all the father is and hath also made thee through grace to perticipate thereof O the unbounded richeâ— of free love what love was ever like to that of Christs who loved not his life unto the death but gave it freely for thee that thou mayest thereby freely come out of that cursed damned estate thou else hadst lain in unto all eternity and into the glorious liberty of Sons O how sweetly sounds that word Sons and Daughters heirs of a Kingdom and Co-heirs with Christ Jesus this is a believers portion and a glorious portion through the lively exercise of faith for the Lord in the offers of his grace sayes come come freely without any worth in your selves or good of your own and take my Son and with him all that shall make you eternally happy the Lord Jesus he a lone is thy redeemer he a lone is thy Redeemer he alone hath perfected the work of thy Redemption And unto him be glory ye all glory for ever and for ever who still had been a glorious and a holy God though thou hadst perished to all eternity and now what hath he required of thee O my soul but to love him to own him and this love begits obedience to him and love unto his laws and from which if thou shouldest now draw back thou wilt deny thy love to him and through a slavish fear make Shipwrack of thy faith deny the power faithfullness soveranity and omnipotency of the great God and so be come a prey to Satan and loose thy soul thy God thy Christ and all thy heavenly treasures forever the Lord in his mercy prevent it and all this for a song a sinful compliance with the men of the worâ—d and for fear of there threats sin against such Light such Love such Convictions of Conscience as the Lord through rich grace hath manifested to thee then consider how the Lord speaks to his poor covenant people who art thou that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall dye when I am on thy side who hath power to do with all men whatsoever he will am not I your Father and cannot you trust me with your preservation though in suffering times there fore O my soul trust in the Lord let him bee all thy stay and â—â—e assured all shall be well with thee if suffering be thy Lot as it is all theirs that will live Godly â—â— Christ â—esus the Lord will give out strength proportionable for he hath said that he will lay no more upon thee then he will inable thee to bear then let thy sufferings be what they will they shall be crowned with a glorious Isue thy small moment of affliction shall work for thee an eternity of glory say they then vaunt over thee with reviling speeches and reproach the too with sedition Hypocriâ— Hereticks Schismaticks c. Better is it to bear the Reproach then be truly guilty but what is this when the Lord saith Blessed are ye when all men hate Reproach and speak all manner of evil against you for my sake shall the Disciples be abâ—vt his Lord for what can they do to thee that they have not done to him He suffered a vile and shamefull death without the camp for the bearing this reproach he was scoffed at made a scorn off reviled buffered spit upon and at lengt crucified and all for thy sake taking it patiently and quietly and can't thou be content to suffer some small thing for his sake who hath suffered such great things for thee therefore my soul fix thou thy faith on Jesus Christ who ever liveth to make intercession for his affiicted ones is ready at hand to give seasonable supplies for every condition O be found still walking in his wayes and full of love to his pretious Laws and trust him with thy condition who can deliver thee from trouble or else preserve thee and bear thee up under it Blessed David saith the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me and for thy sake I have borne reproach shame hath covered my face it was good Davids portion to fall under such reproaches as were even ready sometimes to have broken his heart yet for his help hath his recourse to God ye though the Lord is pleased seemingly to turn away his ear yet he will seek no other help I was a reproach to all mine enemies but especially among my Neighbours ye his very friends reproached him but says he As for me I will call upon God and he shall save me evening and morning and at noon will I pray and cry aloud he shall hear my voice O let this be thy work to approve thy integretie and sincerity unto God And so plead with thy God for mercy and deliverance for what matter is it how man Judgeth of thee so thy heart be right with God what disadvantage will reproaches bring unto thee Mâ—ses esteâ—med the reproaches of Christ greater riches then the treasures of Egypt therefore says Paul I take pleasure in reproaches Yea if you be reproached for the name of Christ hâ—pâ— are ye for the spirit of glory and of God in a more eminent manner resteth upâ—n you the Church of God in all ages hath lain under such afflictions and the father hath so ordained it for the purging away of sin the purifying of man from his dross that so he might become as tryed silver resigned fit for holy use and therefore seeing the necessity of it saith the Apostle beloved think it not stâ—ange concerning the fiery tryal which is to try you as though some strange thing happened unto you t is no new thing