is become of thyne ancient mercyes wilt thou be anggry with me for euer Be thou appeased I beseeche thee and haue mercy on me and doe not turne thy face from me thou who for the redeeminge of me didst not turne thy face from such as did reproch and spitt at thee I confesse that I haue sinned and that my conscience calls for nothing but damnation and my pennance wil not serue for satisfaction but yet it is certayne that thy mercy doth surpasse all sinn Doe not I beseeche thee most deer Lord marite vp my wickednes against me to the end that thou maist enter into exact account with thy seruant but blott out my iniquity according to the multitude of thy mercyes woe be vnto me miserable creature when the day of Iugdment shall come and the booke of consciences shall be opened and it shal be said to me Behold the man and his workes what shall I doe then O Lord my God when the heauens will reueale my iniquityes and when the earth will rise vp against me Beholde I shal be able to make noe answeare but my head hanging downe through confusion I shall stand trembling and all confounded before thee Vvoe is me wretched creature what shal I say I will cry out to thee O Lord my God! For why should I consume my selfe with holding my peace and yet if I speake my greife will not be appeased But yet howsoeuer if I hold my peace I am inwardly tormented with extrcame bitternes Lament O my soule as the Widowe vseth to doe ouer the husband of her youth Howle thou miserable creature and cry out because thy spouse who is Christ our Lord hath dismissed thee O thou wrathe of the Omnipotent doe no thou rush downe vpon me for I am notable to receaue thee It is not in all the power I haue to be able to endure thee Haue mercy on me least I despaire and grant that I may repose in hope and if I haue committed that for which thou maiste condemne me yet thou haste not lost that for which thou art wont to saue sinfull men Thou O Lord desirest not the death of a sinner nor dost thou reioyce in the perdition of dyinge soules nay thou dyedst thy selfe to the end that dead men might liue and thy death hath killed the death of sinners And if they liued by thy death I beseech thee O Lord that I by the meanes of thy life may not dy Send forth thy hand from on highe and take me out of the hand of mine enemyes that they may not reioyce ouer me and say We haue deuoured him Who can distrust of thy mercy O deer Iesus since thou didest redeeme vs and reconcile vs to God by thy Blood when we were thine enemies Behold how being protected vnder the shadowe of thy mercy I come runninge to thy Throne of glory askinge pardon of thee and crying out and knocKinge till thou take pitty of me For if thou haste called vs to take the benefit of thy pardon when we sought it not how much more shall we obteyne it when we seeke it Doe not O most swete Iesus remember thy Iustice against this sinner but be mindfull of thy benignity towards thy creature Be not mindfull of thy wrathe against him who is guilty but be mindfull of thy mercy towards him who is in misery Forget the proude wretch who prouoketh thee and take pitty of that miserable man who inuoketh thee For what is Iesus but a Sauiour and therefore O Iesus I beseeche thee by thy selfe rise vp to help me and say vnto my soule I am thy saluation I presume much O Lord vpon thy goodnes because thy selfe teacheth me to aske to seeke and to knocke and therefor being admonished by that voyce of thyne I doe aske seeke and knocke And thou O Lord who biddest me aske make me receaue thou whoe aduisest me to seeke grant that I may finde thou who teachest me to knocke open to me who am knockinge And eonfirme me who am weake reduce me who am lost raise me to life who am dead and vouchsafe in thy good pleasure so to gouerne my sences my thoughts words and deeds that from hence forth I may serue thee and liue to thee and deliuer my selfe wholy vp into thy hand I know O my Lord that for thy onely haueinge made me I owe thee all my selfe and in that thou wert made Man for me and didest redeeme me I should owe so much more to thee then my selfe if I had more as thou art greater then he for whome thou gauest thy selfe But behold I haue no more nor yet can I giue thee what I haue without thee but doe thou take me and drawe me to thy selfe to thy imitation and loue as already I am thyne by creation and condition thou who euer liuest and reignest CHAP. XL. A profitable Prayer O Lord God Omnipotent who art Trine and One who art allwayes in all things who wert before all things and who art euer to be in all things God to whome be praise for euer to thee doe I commend for this day and for all my life herafter my soule my body my sight my hearinge my taste my smell and my touch All my thoughts affections speaches and actions all my exteriors and interiors my sense my vnderstanding and my memory my faith my hope and my perseuerance into the hands of thy power by day and night and in all houers and momenta Hearken to me O Holy Trinity and conserue me from all euill from all scandall and from all mortall sinne from all ambushes and vexation of Deuills and from all our enemyes visible and inuisible by the Prayers of the Patriarches by the Meritts of the Prophets by the suffrages of the Apostles by the constancy of the Martyrs by the Chastity of the Virgins and by the intercession of all the Saints who haue been pleasing to thee since the beginning of the World Expell from me all boasting of minde increase compounction of hart diminish my pride and perfect thou true humility in me Stirr me vp to shed tears mollify my hard and stony hart deliuer my soule O Lord from all the trecheryes of myne enimyes and conserue me in thy will Teach me O Lord to doe thy will for thou art my God Giue me O Lord perfect seesing and vnderstanding that I may be able to comprehend thy profound benignity Giue me grace to aske that which it may delight thee to heare and may be expedient for me to obteyne Giue me tears which may rise from my whole hart wherby the chaynes of my sinns may be dissolued Hearken O my Lord and my God hearken to what I aske and vouchsafe to grant it If thou despise me I perish if thou reguard me I liue if thou looke for innocency at my hands I am dead already and I stinke if thou looke vpon me with mercy though I stinke yet thou raisest me out of the graue Put that farr from me which thou
no comfort till I shall obteyne to see thee in thy celestiall bedd of state Thee who art my beloued and most beautifull Spouse my Lord and my God That beholding there in the society of such as thou hast chosen that glorious and admirable most beautifull countenance of thine which is topp full of all true sweetenes I may with profound humility adore thy Maiesty And then at last being replenished with the celestiall and vnspeakable iubilation of eternall ioy I may cry out with such as loue thee and say Beholde that which I aspired too I see That which I hoped for I haue That which I desired I inioy For to him am I conioyned in heauen whome being yet on earthe I loued witth my whole power I imbraced with entire affection and I inheared to with inuincible loue Him doe I praise adore and blesse who liueth raigneth God for euer and euer Amen CHAP. XXXVIII A Prayer to be made in affliction HAue mercy on me O Lord haue mercy on me deer Lord haue mercy on me most miserable sinner who cōmitt vnworthy things and doe endure such as I am worthy of for I am daily sinninge and daily feeling the scourge of sinn If I consider the euill which I cōmitt daily it is noe great matter which I suffer It is much wherein I offend and it is little which I endure Thou art lust O Lord and thy iudgment is right yea all thy iudgments are iust and true Thou art iust and true O Lord our God and there is noe iniquity in thee Thou O mercifull and Omnipotent Lord dost not afflict vs sinners cruelly and vniustly But when we were not thou didst make vs with thy hand of power and when we were lost through our owne fault thou didist admirablie restore vs by thy pitty and goodnes I know and am well assured that our life is not driuen on by rash and irregular motions but it is disposed and gouerned by thee O Lord our God So that thou hast a care of all butt especially of thy seruants who haue placed their whole hope in thy mercy I doe therefore beseeche and humbly pray thee that thou wilt not proceed with me according to my sinns whereby I haue deserued thy wrathe but accordinge to thyne owne great mercy which surpasseth the sinns of the whole world Thou O Lord who doest inflict exterior punishments vpon vs giue vs interior patience which may neuer faile that so thy praise may not departe from my mouth Haue mercy on me O Lord haue mercy on me and helpe me accordinge to what thou knowest to be necessary for me both in body and soule For thou knowest all things thou canst doe all things thou who liuest for euer CHAP. XXXIX A verie deuoute Prayer to God the Sonne O Lord Iesus Christe the Sonne of the liueing God who didest drinke vp that Calice of thy Passion thou being extēded vpon thy Crosse for the Redemption of all mortall men vouchsafe this day to giue me helpe Beholde I come poore to thee who art riche miserable to thee who art mercifull Let me not goe empty or despised from thee I am hungry now when I beginn let me not giue ouer empty of thee I come to thee almost starued let me not departe from thee vnfed And if now before I eat I sighe grant at least after I haue sighed that I may eate First of all O most sweete Iesus I confesse myne owne iniustice against my selfe before the magnificence of thy mercy Behold O Lord how I was conceaued and borne in sinne and thou didst wash me and sanctify me and after that I did yet pollute my selfe with greater sinnes For I was borne in Original sinn which was necessary to me but afterwards I weltred in actuall sinn which was voluntary Yet thou O Lord beinge not vnmindfull of thy mercy didst take me from the house of my father of flesh and blood and out of the Tabernacles of sinners and didst inspire me to follow thee with the generation of them who seeke thy face and who walke in the right way and who dwell amongst the Lillyes of chastity and who feed with thee at the table of profound pouerty And I vngratefull for so many benefits did after I had receaued Baptisme worke many wicked deeds and committed many execrable crymes And whereas I ought to haue remoued those former sinns I did after add new sinns to those These are my wickednesses O Lord whereby I haue deshonored thee defiled my selfe whome thou haste created after thyne owne Image and likenesse by pride vaine glorye and a number of other sinnes whereby my vnhappy soule is afflicted torne and destroyed Behold O Lord how my iniquityes haue ouergrowne my head and how they oppresse me as any heauy burden might doe And vnlesse thou whose property it is to haue mercy and to forgiue be pleased to put the hand of thy Maiesty vnder me I shall not faile to be miserably drowned in that bottomlesse pitt Consider O Lord God and see because thou art holy and behold how my enemy insulteth ouer me saying God hath forsaken him I will persecute him and take him for there is none to deliuer him But thou O Lord how long Conuert thy selfe to me and deliuer my soule and saue me for thy mercyes sake Haue mercy vpon thy Sonn whome thou didst begett weth noe small sorrow of thine and doe not so consider my wickednes as thereby to forgett thyne owne goodnes Who is that Father which will not deliuer his Sonne Or who is that Sonne whome the Father will not correct with the staffe of pitty Therefore O my Father and my Lord though it be true that I am a sinner yet I leaue not for all that to be thy Sonne because thou haste both made me and made me agayne As I haue sinned so doe thou reforme me and when thou shalt haue mended me by thy correction deliuer me then to thy Sonne Can the Mother forgett the Childe of her wombe Yet supposeing she could thou hast promised O Father that thou wilt not forgett him Behold I cry out and thou hearest me not I am tormented with sorrowe and thou comfortest me not What can I say or what shall I doe most wretched creature that I am I am vtterly without all comfort and I am cast of from the sight of thyne eyes Woe is me from how great happinesse into how great misery am I fallen Whither was I goeinge and yet where am I arriued where am I or rather where am I not To whome did I aspire and yet now what kinde of things be they for which I pant and sighe I haue sought for happinesse and behold I hawe mett wish infelicity Bebold I am euen dyinge and Iesus is not with me without fayle it is better for me not to be at all then not to be with Iesus it is better for me not to liue at all then to liue without life But thou O Lord Iesus and what
the power of a man to will that which he hath power to doe or to doe that which he cann will or to knowe what he cann will and doe but rather the paces of men are directed by thee the paces of them I meane who confesse themselues to be directed by thee and not by themselues Wee beseech thee therefore O Lord by the bowells of thy mercy be pleased to saue that which thou hast created For if thou wilt thou canst saue vs and the strength of our saluation consisteth in the pleasure of thy will CHAP. XXVI Of the auncient benefits of Almighty God CAll to mynde thy auncient mercy whereby thou diddest preuent vs from the beginning in those benedictions of thy sweetenes For before I was borne I who am the sonne of thy handmayde O Lord who hast bene my hope euen from the brests of my mother thou diddest preuent mee by preparing those wayes for mee wherein I might walke and whereby I was to arriue to the glory of thy house Before thou framedst mee in my mothers wombe thou knewest mee and before I parted from her wombe thou diddest praeordayne concerning mee whatsoeuer was pleasing to thy selfe What things are contayned and written in thy booke concerning mee in that secret of thy Consistory I for my parte doe not knowe and there vpon I am in extreme feare but it is well knowen to thee For that which I might expect to happen in successe of dayes and tymes betweene this and a thousand yeares hence all that is already done in the sight of thy eternity and that which is future is finished already there Now therefore whilest I liue in this darke night and whilest I am ignorant of these things feare and trembling come vpon mee since I see on all sides that many dangers doe sett vpon mee close at hand and that I am hunted by many enemyes and hemmed in by innumerable miseryes in this life And vnles I had thy helpe in the middest of so great calamityes I should despaire But still I haue a strong hope in thee O thou most meeke Prince and my God And the consideration of the multitude of those mercy which thou hast shewed to mee doth ease my minde the fore-running signes of thy mercyes which preuented mee before I was borne and doe now shine particularly towards mee doe sollicite me to haue good hope concerning those future better more perfect guifts of thy benignity which thou reseruest for thy freinds That soe I may reioyce O Lord my God with that liuely and holy ioy whereby thou dost euer recreate my youth CHAP. XXVII Of the Angels which are deputed to the custody of man FOr thou hast loued me O thou onely Loue of myne before I loued thee and thou hast created mee after thine owne Image and thou hast preferred me before all thy creatures Which dignity I keepe now also hauing knowen thee for whome thou hast made mee Thou hast also made thy Spirits Angels for my benefitt and thou hast commaunded them to keepe me in all my wayes lest els perhaps I might hurte my foote against a stone For these are the Guard which stands vpon the walls of the Citty of thy new Ierusalem and these are those Mountaynes which are sayd to stand in the circuit thereof keeping watch by night ouer thy flocke least at any time the Lyon should snatch away our soules whilest none were by to deliuer them that auncient serpent I say our aduersary the deuill who is euer walkeing the round seekeing whom he may deuowre These are those happy Citizens of Ierusalem that supernall Citty that mother of ours which is aboue and they are sent in ministery to them who are to take hold of the inheritance of saluation that they may deliuer them from theyr enemyes and guard them in all theyr wayes that they may comfort and admonish thy children and offer vp theyr prayers in the sight of the glory of thy Maiestie For they loue theyr fellow-Cittizens by whose society they expect that the ruine of the Schisme which was made by the rebellious Angells may be repayred They doe therefore assist vs with greate care and watchfull endeauour at all tymes and in all places succouring vs and making prouision against our necessityes and passeing with great sollicitude betweene vs and thee O Lord presenting our sighes and sobs to thee that they may obtayne for vs an easy pardon from thy mercy and may bring downe from thee the desired benediction of thy grace For they walke with vs in all our wayes they goe in and out with vs considering with greate attention how vertuously and piously wee conuerse in the middest of a wicked nation with great endeauour and desire we seeke the Kingdome of God and the iustice thereof with how greate feare and trembling wee serue thee and how also wee exult towards thee in the ioy of our harts They helpe such as are takeing paynes they protect such as are at rest they encourage such as fight they crowne such as conquer they reioyce with such as ioy I meane such as ioy in thee and they suffer with such as suffer I meane such as are in sufferance for thee They haue a mighty care of vs. Great is the ardour of theyr affection towards vs and all this for the honour they beare to that inestimable charity where-with thou louest vs For they loue them whom thou louest they keepe them whom thou keepest and they forsake them whom thou forsakest Nor doe they loue the workers of wickednes because thou hatest all the workers of iniquity and destroys all them who speake lyes As often as wee doe well the Angels ioy and the Deuills grieue But as often as wee swarue from vertue wee make the Deuill glad and wee depriue the Angels of theyr ioy For they haue ioy by one sinner doeing pennance but the Deuill hath ioy when pennance is giuen ouer by a good man Graunt them therefore O Father graunt that they may euer reioyce concerning vs and that thou mayest euer be praysed by them in vs and that both they and wee may be brought into one the same sheepfoulde that together wee may confesse to thy Holy Name O thou Creatour both of men and Angels Whilest I am calling these things to minde before thee I confesse to thee with prayse that these are greate benefits whereby thou hast honoured vs whilest thou giuest thy Spirits for Angels to assist vs. Thou haddest already bestowed whatsoeuer was contayned vnder the vaut of heauen yea and thou reputest that as but little which is contayned vnder heauen vnles thou mayest also add those things which are aboue the heauens Lett all thy Angels prayse thee also for this O Lord Let all thy workes also confesse to thee and let all thy Saints themselues blesse thee for it O thou our Supreame honour thou hast too highly honored vs and thou hast beautifyed and enriched vs with many guifts Thy Name O Lord is admireable ouer
and where that fountayne of life is and that inaccessible light and that peace of God which passeth all vnderstanding There doe wee adore and belieue thee O Iesus Christ to be true God and man confessing that thou hast God for thy Father and that from heauen wee expect thee to come as Iudge in the end of the world to iudge the quicke and the dead that thou mayest render eyther reward or punishment to all men eyther good or badd according to those workes which they shall haue wrought in this life that soe they may be eyther in rest or eternall misery For all those creatures who haue receiued a humane soule into that flesh which here they haue carryed about them shall rise at that day in the voyce of thy strength to the end that the whole man may receyue eyther glory or torments according to his merits Thou art that life and resurrection it selfe whom wee expect to be our Sauiour Iesus Christ our Lord who will reforme this poore meane body of ours by conformeing it to the body of his clarity I haue knowen thee also to be true God O thou one holy Spirit of the Father and the Sonne proceding iointly from them both to be consubstantiall and eternall with the Father and the Sonne to be our Paraclete and Aduocate who diddest also descend in the shape of a doue vpon the same God Iesus Christ our Lord and diddest appeare vpon the Apostles in tongues of fyre who also from the beginning hast taught all the elect Saints of God by the gifte of thy grace and hast opened the mouth of the Prophets that they might relate wounderful things of the Kingdome of God who together with the Father the Sonne art adored and glorifyed by all the Saints of God Amongst whome I also who am the sonne of thy handmayd doe glorify thy name with my whole harte because thou hast illuminated mee For thou art that reall light that light which tells vs truth the fyre of God the Doctour of soules the very Spirit of Truth which teacheth vs all truth by thy vnction without which it is impossible for vs to please God For thou thy self art God of God and light of light proceeding from the Father of lights and from his Sonne our Lord Iesus Christ after an ineffable manner with whome thou being coequall and coeternall art glorifyed and dost raigne ioyntly with them superessentially in the essence of the same Trinity I haue knowen thee my one liueing and true God the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost three in persons but one in essence whome I confesse adore and glorify with my whole harte as my onely true Holy immortall inuisible vnchaungeable and vnscrutable God that one Light one Sunne one bread one Life one Good one Beginning one End one Creatour of heauen and earth by whome all things liue by whome all things subsist by whome all things are gouuerned ordered and quickened which are in heauē on the earth and vnder the earth and besides whome there is noe God either in heauen or in earth I haue knowen thee by thy faith wherewith thou hast inspired mee O thou my light and the sight of myne eyes O Lord my God the hope of all the ends of the earth the Ioy which doth recreat my youth and the good which strēgtheneth my age For in thee O Lord do all my bones excessiuely reioyce and say O Lord who is like to thee Who amongst the Gods is like thee O Lord. Not they who are made by the hands of men but thou by whome the hands of men are made The Idolls of the Gentiles are gold and siluer the worke of mens hands But soe is not the maker of men All the Gods of the nations are Deuills but our Lord made the heauens and this Lord is God As for those Gods who made not heauen and earth let them perish both from heauen and earth But let heauen and earth blesse that God who made heauen and earth CHAP. XXXIII Of the Confession of our owne basenes WHo O Lord is like thee among the Gods Who is like thee O thou who art magnificent in thy sanctity who art terrible laudable and doeing wonderfull things Too late I come to knowe thee O thou true light too late am I come to knowe thee But there was a greate and darke cloude before these vayne eyes of myne soe that I could not see the sunne of Iustice and the light of truth I was wrapped vp in darkenes my selfe being the childe of darkenes and this darkenes of myne I loued because I did not knowe the light I was blinde and I loued blindenes and by darkenes I walked on to further darkenes Who brought me out from thence where I blinde creature was sitting in darkenes and in the shadow of death who tooke mee by the hand and led me out VVho was he that did illuminate mee I sought not him but he sought me I called not vpon him and he cryed out vpon mee But who is he that did all this It is thou O Lord my God the Father of mercyes and the God of all consolations it is thou O holy Lord and my God whome I confesse with my whole harte giueinge thankes to thy Name I sought not thee but I was sought by thee I inuoked not thee and thou calledest mee Thou calledst mee by thine owne Name thou diddest thunder thus downe into the inward eare of my harte with this mighty voyce Let Light be made and light was made and that greate cloud flew away that darke thicke cloud was dissolued which had closed vp myne eyes And I sawe thy light and I knew thy voyce and I sayd O Lord that thou indeed art my God Who hast drawen mee out of darkenes and out of the shadow of death and thou hast called me into thy admireable light and behold I see Thankes be giuē to thee O thou who art the Illuminator of my soule And I looked backe and sawe the darkenes wherein I had bene and that profound blacke pitt wherein I had lyen and I did all quake and shiuer and I said Woe woe be to that darkenes wherein I lay Woe woe be to that blindenes wherin I was not able to see the light of heauen VVoe woe to that former ignorance of myne when I had noe knowldege of thee O Lord. But I giue thee thanks O thou my illuminator and deliuerer because thou hast illuminated mee and I haue knowen thee Yet still I am come too late to knowe thee O thou antient Truth too late I am come to knowe thee O thou eternall Truth Thou wert in the light and I in darkenes and I knew thee not because I could not be illuminated without thee nor indeede without thee is there any light at all CHAP. XXXIV A consideration of the diuine Maiestie O Thou holy of holyes thou God of inestimable Maiestie the God of God and the Lord of Lords who art admirable inexplicable
truth to all such as seeke him but especially to them that loue him A copious redēption is giuen to vs in the wounds of Iesus Christ our Sauiour A great multitude of sweetnes a fullnes of grace the perfection of vertues CHAP. XXII Of the remembrance of the woundes of Iesus Christ our Lord. WHEN I am sollicited by any impure thought I make my recourse vnto the woundes of Christ when my body oppresseth me I recouer strength by calling the wounds of my Lord to mind whē the Diuell is laying some ambush whereby to take me I flye vnto the boweles of my Lords mercy and so the Diuell departeth from me If the ardour of lust make any alteration in my body it is quenched by the memory of the wounds of our Lord the Sonne of God In all the aduersityes which I haue beene subiect to I neuer found so effectuall à remedy as in the wounds of Christ In them do I sleep secure in them do I repose voyd of feare Christ dyed for vs there is nothing so deadly bitter which may not be cured by the death of Christ All the hope I haue is in the death of my Lord. His death is my merit my refuge my sauing health my life and my resurrection My merit is his great mercy I shal neuer be voyd of merit as long as he who is the Lord of mercy shall not be wanting to me And since my merits goe after the rates of his mercyes looke how much more mighty he is towardes the sauing of me so much the more may I be secure CHAP. XXIII The remembrance of the woundes of Christ our Lord is our remedy in all aduersity I Haue committed a grieuous sinne nay I am guilty of many sinnes neither yet wil I despaire because where sinnes haue abounded there hath beene superaboundance of grace He who despaireth of the pardon of his sinnes denieth God to be mercifull He much wrongs God who distrustes in his mercy Such a one doth his best to deny that God hath Charity Verity and Piety wherin all my hope consisteth Namely in the Charity of his adoption in the Verity of his promise in the Piety of his redemption Let therfore my foolish thought be murmuring as much as it will whilest it is saying What a poore thing art thou and what a great glory is that and by what merits dost thou hope to obtaine it For I will confidently answere I know well who it is whome I haue trusted And because he hath adopted me for his sonne with excesse of Charity because he is true in his promises and powerfull in his performances because he may doe what he will I cannot be frighted by the multitude of my sinnes if withall I be able to call the death of my Lord to mind for those sinnes of mine cannot conquerre him Those nayles that launce doe cry out to tell me that in deed I am reconcyled to Christ if I resolue to loue him Longinus opened the side of Christ with his launce there doe I enter in and there I do safely rest He that feares let him loue for charity will put feare away There is not so potent and effectuall a remedy against the ardour of lust as the death of my redeemer He stretcheth forth his armes abroad vpon the Crosse he spreads his handes which are ready to imbrace vs sinners Between those armes of my Sauiour I resolue to liue I desire to dye There will I securely sing I will exalt thee O Lord because thou hast taken me vp hast not giuen myne enemyes their pleasure ouer me Our Sauiour bowed downe his head at his death that he might kisse his beloued so often do we giue à kisse to God as we haue compunction of our sinnes for the loue of him CHAP. XXIIII An exhortation of the soule to the loue of Christ our Lord. O Thou my soule which art dignified with the image of God redeemed by the bloud of Christ espowsed by faith endoweth with a spirit adorned with vertues rancked with Angells be sure thou loue him by whome thou art so much beloued Make him thy busines who hath made thee his Seeke him who seeketh thee loue thy louer by whome thou art beloued by whose loue thou art preuented and who is the cause of thyne He is thy merit thy reward thy fruit thy vse thy end Be thou carefull together with him who is so carefull of thee be attentiue to him who is attentiue to thee be pure with him who is pure be holy with him who is holy Such as thou dost appeare in the sight of God such art thou to expect that he will appeare to thee God who is so sweete so meeke and so full of mercy doth require that thou shouldst be sweet and meeke and gentle humble and full of mercy Loue him who hath drawne thee out of the lake of misery and the filth of durt Choose him for thy friend aboue all thy friends who when all they shall fayle thee will be euer sure to make good thy trust at the day of thy death When all thy friends are departing from thee he will not leaue thee but he will defend thee against those roaring lyons who are sharpe set vpon theyr prey And he will leade thee by a Country wherewith thou art not yet acquainted and he will bring thee to those streets of the celestiall Sion there he will place thee together with his Angels before the face of his owne Maiesty where thou shalt heere that Angellicall Musicke of Holy Holy Holy Lord God of Sabaoth There is the Canticle of ioy the voyce of exultation and saluatiō and thanksgiuing the voyce of prayse and that euerlasting Alleluya There is that high heape of happynes that supereminēt glory that superaboundant gladnes all good thinges put togeather O sigh thou ardently O my soule desire vehemently that thou mayst arriue at that heauenly citty whereof so glorious thinges are sayd where of all the inhabitants are so full of ioy By loue thou mayst ascend Nothing is impossible nothing is hard to one who loues The soule which loues ascendeth often and doth familiarity runne too fro through those streets of the Celestiall Hierusalem Sometimes visiting the Patriarkes the Prophets sometymes admiring those armyes of Martyrs and Confessors contemplating somtymes the Quires of Virgins The heauen and the earth withall which is therein doe neuer cease to let me know that I ought to loue my Lord my God CHAP. XXV That nothing can suffice the soule but the supreme Good THe hart of man which is not fixed in the desire of eternity can neuer be stable and firme but is more wauering then the wind and it passeth from one thing to another seeking reste where it cannot be foūd For in these fraile transitory thinges where the affection thereof is imprisoned it can neuer finde true repose Because our soule is of so great dignity that no
abhorr thee When therefore thou art angry thou dost not onely not strike the offenders but euē impartest blessings to them if they giue ouer offending O thou my God! the very horne of my saluation and my vpholder I wretched creature haue offended thee I haue done wickedly in thy sight I haue deserued thy wrathe I haue prouoked thy fury I haue sinned and thou hast suffred me I haue offended and thou yet endurest me If I repent thou pardonest if I returne thou receiuest nay more then this whilest I am deferring thou expectest me Thou dost reduce me when I err thou inuitest me when I resiste thou staiest for me when I am dull thou imbracest me when I returne Thou teachest me when I am ignorant thou cherrishest me when I am afflicted thou raisest me whilest I fall thou restorest me when I am fallen thou giuest me when I aske thou art found when I seeke thee and thou openest when I knock O Lord the God of my saluation behold I know not what I may alledge I know not what to answere I haue no refuge nor hole to retire my serfe into from thee Thou hast showed me the way of good life and thou hast giuen me knoweledge how to cōduct my selfe thou haste treatned me with the feare of hell thou hast allured me with the hope of the glory of heauen And now O Father of mercyes ô God of all consolation strike through my very flesh with thy feare to the end through feare I may auoide that which thou threatnest and restore to me the ioy of thy sauing grace that by loue I may obteyne the thinges which thou promisest O Lord my strength and my fundation my God my refuge my deliuerer inspire me with what I ought to thinke of thee teach me with what words I should inuoke thee impart the power of performeinge those workes wherby I may please thee I know there is one thing wherby thou art appeased an other which thou art not wont to despise To witt an afflicted soule is a sacrifice to thee and thou vouchsafest to accept an humble and contrite hart O my God and my helper inrich me I beseech thee with these guifts defend me against mine enemy by these graces impart this refreshinge to me against the burninge heat of sensualityes and lett this refuge be open to me against the importunity of all inordinate desires O Lord the strength of my saluatiō doe not permitt me to be of them who beleeue in thee for a season but in the tyme of temptation departe from thee Ouer shadow this head of mine in the day of battell O thou who art my hope in the tyme of affliction and my saueing health in the tyme of tribulation Behold ô Lord ô thou my light and my saluation I haue begged those things of thee which I neede I haue intimated those things which I apprehend and feare but my conscience fills me with remorse the secretts of my hart reprooue me and that which loue gathered together feare scattereth and that which zeale moues me too distrust drawes me from My sinns giue me terrour but thy pitty putts me into hope thy bounty exhorts me though myne owne malignity holds me back And that I may confesse a truth the images and representations of my old sinns be still obtrudeing themselues on my memory they hold me downe from presumeing too farr CHAP. III. The complainte of a man who is not heard by our Lord through his disobedience FOr in fine when a man is worthy of hate with what face shall he desire fauour To whome punishment is due what rash boldnes is it for him to expect glory He prouoketh his Iudge who instead of giueinge satisfaction for his offence pretends to be honored with rewards He insults vpon his Kinge who beinge obnoxious to punishment will aduenture to begg a prize which is not due to him And that foolish sonne would exasperate the tender hart of his father who hauinge reproached the same father would presume to vsurpe the honour of the inheritance before he had disposed himself to pennance What is this ô my deare Father which I say I haue done I haue deserued death and yet I aske life I haue offēded my souueraigne Kinge whose aide I doe yet thus impudently implore I haue despised my Iudge whome thus rashly I desire to be my helper Most insolently haue I refused so much as to harken to my Father whom yet I am presumeinge to haue for my defender Woe be vnto me how late doe I come woe be to me how slack am I in makeing haste woe be to me who am runninge still hauing receiued fresh wounds and yet vouchsafe not when I am wel to preuent the pearcinge of new arrowes I haue neglected to forsee the darts before they came but now that I behold my death at hand I am full of trouble I added wounds to wounds because I feared not to add crimes to crimes My ancient scarrs I haue broken through with new violence because my late iniquities haue corresponded with my ancient sinns and that which thy diuine phisick had cured and closed the itch of my frensy hath opened againe The skinn which being drawen ouer my wounds did conceale my infirmity hath putrified by the breaking out of filthy blood whilest that iniquity which I iterated did euacuate the mercy which thou dist grante For I well know how it is written In what houre soeuer the iust man shall sinn all his iustice shal be forgotten And now if the iustice of the iust man shal be forgotten when he falls how much more shall the peunance of a sinner be forgotten if he returne againe to comitt those sinns How often like a dogg haue I returned to my vomitt and like a sowe haue I weltered againe in the mire I may wel confesse it for it is impossible but I should remember it How many ignorant persons haue I taught the way how to sinn how many haue I persuaded who had no minde to it I haue compelled such as resisted and I haue consented to such as desired For how many haue I laide a snare who were already in the right way and for others who sought that way I haue digged a pitt and to the end that I might not abhorr the doeinge of these things I feared not to cast them out of my minde But thou ô iust Iudge who sealest vp the accounts of my sinns and who standest watchinge ouer all my wayes and haste numbered euery one of my stepps thou I say heldest thy peace thou hast euer beene silent and euer patient But woe is me thou wilt at length cry out like a woman who is in the torment of child-bedd CHAP. IV. The feare of the Iudge O God of Gods O Lord who art too hard for the malice and sinn of man I knowe that one day thou wilt appeare I know that thou wilt not be allwayes silent when the fire shall burn in thy sight and that
strong tempest shall compasse thee inn round about when thou shalt call the heauen earth at such tyme as thou wilt iudge thy people And behold all my iniquities shal be discouered then before so many thousands of nations and all my greiuous crimes not onely deeds but euen words and very thoughts themselues shal be manifested to so many legions of Angells Before so many iudges shall I desolate creature stand as there wil be men who haue farr outstripped me in good workes By so many reprouers shall I be confounded as haue giuen me examples of good life And by so many witnesses shall I be conuinced as haue taught me by good speeches and instructed me toward an imitation of them by their good examples O my Lord I can lighte vpon nothinge which I may say nothing doth occurr which I can answere And now whilest I am subiect to this sharp triall my conscience racks me the secrets of my hart torment me couetousnesse streightens me pride accuses me enuy consumes me concupiscence inflames me lust importunes me gluttony dishoners me ebriety ouercomes me detraction tears me ambition supplants me greedinesse disquiets me discorde scatters me anger disturbes me mirth dissolues me heauinesse oppresseth me hypocrisy deceiues me flattery alters me fauour exalts me slaunder wounds me Behold ô thou who art my deliuerer from these feirce nations behold who they be whome I haue liued with all from the very day of my birth whome I haue obserued and to whome I haue dedicated my selfe Those very imployments which I loued condemn me they which I praised dishonored me These are those frends with whome I did so carefully comply those Maisters whose direction I followed those Lords whome I haue serued those Counseillers whome I haue beleeued those citzens with whome I haue dwelt those domesticks whome I haue consented too woe is me ô my King and my God that my habitation here is so much prolonged Woe is me O thou light of mine eyes that I haue dwelt amongst the inhabitants of Cedar And if holy Dauid could say that he had dwelt much with them how much more may I wretched creature say O thou my God and my strong fundation that my soule hath dwelt too much with them for in thy sight noe man liueinge can be iustifyed My hope is not reposed in the sonnes of men for if thou iudge them when thy mercy is laide a side whome wilt thou be able to finde iust And if thou preuent not the wicked man by showeing mercy thou wilt not finde any good man vpon whome to bestowe thy glory For I beleeue O thou who art my saluation that which I haue beene told that it is thy mercy which bringeth me to pennance Those lipps of thy mouth more sweete then Nectar haue sounded forth these words Noe man can come to me vnles my Father who sent me drawe him Because therfor thou haste instructed me because by that instruction thou hast mercifully framed me as now I am I doe with the most inward marrow of my soule and with all possible strife of my hart inuoke thee ô Omnipotent Father with thy most beloued Sonne and thee ô most sweete Sonne with the most excellent souueraigne Holy spirit that thou wilt draw me towards thee that so I may runn after the fragrance of thy pretious odours and that I may doe it most dearely CHAP. V. The Father is inuoked by the Sonne INuoke thee ô my God! I inuoke hee because thou art present to all such as call vpon thee in the way of truth for thou art Truth Teach me ô holy Truth by thy mercy how I may inuoke thee in thee because I know not how that must be done and therefore I doe most humbly begg of thee to be taught by thee For to be wise without thee is to play the foole but to knowe thee is perfectly to be wise Teach me ô diuine Wisdome and instruct me in thy lawe for I beleeue that he whome thou teachest and whome thou instructest in thy lawe shal be happy I desire to inuoke thee and I beseech thee that it may be in all Truth What is it to call vpon Truth in Truth but to call vpon the Father in his Sonnes Thy speach therfore ô holy Father is Truth and Truth is the beginninge of thy words For this is the beginninge of thy words that in the beginning was the word In the very beginning doe I adore thee who art the prime and supreame beginninge In that very worde of Truth doe I also inuoke thee ô perfect Truth in which word I beseech thee who art that very Truth that thou will direct and teach me that Truth For what is more delightfull then to inuoke the Father in the name of his onely begotten Sonne to induce the Father to mercy by the remembrance of his Sonne to mollify the Kings hart by the mention of his dearest Sonne For thus doe prisoners vse to be freed from their restrainte So are slaues freed from their chaines and men who are lyable to the sadd doome of death are not onely absolued but growe intitled sometymes to extraordinary fauour when they putt angry Princes in minde of the loue they beare to theyr progeny And when the intercession of the Sonne is imployed the poore slaue is wonte to auoide the punishment of his Lord. Iust so ô thou Omnipotent Father I begg of thee by thine Omnipotent Sonne that thou wilt drawe my soule out of prison that I may confesse to thy name I beseech thee by that onely begotten Sonne of thine who is coeternall with thee that thou wilt discharge me from these fetters of my sinns and that by the mediation of thy most pretious issue who is sitting at thy right hand thou wilt of thy goodnes restore me to life who for my great demerits am threatned with the sentence of death For I know not what other intercessor I should be able to vse towards thee but him who is propitiation for our sinns and who sitteth at thy right hand pleadinge for vs. Behold ô God the Father him who is my aduocate with thee Behold that supreame Bishop who hath noe need to be expiated by any others blood because he is resplendent by being all bathed in his owne Beholde here the holy Sacrifice which is holy perfect and wel pleasing which is offered in the odour of sweetnes so accepted Behold the lamb without spott who is silent before the shearrer and who being beaten vpon the face with blowes and defiled with spittle and reproached with scorne did not yet so much as open his mouth Behold he who neuer committed sinn hath borne our sinns and by his owne wounds hath cured our diseases CHAP. VI. Here man representeth the Passion of the Sonne to the Father BEholde deare Father thy most holy Sonne who hath suffered such bitter paines for me Behold ô most clement Kinge who it is that suffers and mercifully remember for whome he suffers
labour Giueinge a beginninge to all things thy selfe haueinge noe beginninge makeing all things changeable beinge yet vnchangeable in thy selfe being infinite in thy greatenesse Omnipotent in thy power souuereigne in thy goodnesse inestimable in thy wisdome terrible in thy decrees iust in thy iudgements secret in thy thoughts true in thy wordes holy in thy workes plentifull in thy mercyes Towards sinners thou art most patiēt towards penitents thou art most pittifull Thou art euer the same eternall sempiternall immortall vnchangeable God whome neither space can dilate nor littlenesse of place can streighten nor any receptacle can keepe in or constraine nor the will vary nor partiality corrupt nether doe sad things afflict thee nor ioyfull things transport thee From whome neither forgetfullnes takes any thinge neither doth memory restore any thing neither doe things past passe away nor future things succeed To whome neither the first gaue beginninge nor the continuance of tyme increase nor shall any accident giue it any end But thou liuest for all eternity both before and in and through all aages And lett immortal praise and eternall glory and souuereigne power and supreame honor and a Kingdome Empire for all eternity remaine with thee through those infinite vnwearied and immortall ages of ages Amen CHAP. XIII How God the Father vouchsafed to helpe mankinde and of the Incarnation of the worde HItherto O Omnipotent God the beholder searcher of my hart I haue confessed the Omnipotency of thy Maiesty and the maiesty of thy Omnipotency But now as I beleeue with the hart to Iustice so will I confesse before thee with the mouth to saluation in what sort thou haste beene pleased at the end of many ages to releiue the misery of mankinde Thou O God and our onely Father wert neuer to be sent any whither But of the Sonne the Apostle writeth thus When the fullnes of tyme was come God sent his Sonne When he saith sent he doth sufficiently showe that then he came sent into this world when being borne of the euer B. Virgin Mary he became and appeared true and perfect man in flesh But what is that which that cheife of all the Euangelistes saith He was in the world and the world was made by him He was sent thither in his Humanity who was euer and is there by his Diuinity Now that this Mission is the worke of the whole blessed Trinity I confesse with my whole hart and mouth But how then didst thou loue vs O thou holy and good Father how much didst thou loue vs O most deare Creator who didst not euen spare thyne owne Sonne but didst deliuer him vp for vs wretched Creatures He was subiect to thee euen vnto the death and that the death of the Crosse takeinge the hand-writinge of our sinns and nailinge it to the same Crosse He crucified also sinn it selfe and killed death He who onely is free amongst the dead haueing power both to lay downe his life for vs and afterward to take it vp againe Hence was he both the conquerer and Sacryfice And therfor the Conquerer because the sacryfice for vs To thee he was the Preist and the Sacrifice and therfore the Preist because the Sacrifice Most iustly haue I a strong hope in him that thou for his sake who sitteth at thy right hand and is continually interceedinge for vs wilt cure all our languishing diseases For my infirmityes O Lord are great and many great they are and many The Prince of this world hath much to say against me I knowe and cōfesse it yet deliuer me I beseeche thee by that Redeemer of mine who sitteth at thy right hand in whome he was able to finde none of his malice By him I beseeche thee to iustify me by him who comitted noe sinn nor was there any guile found in his mouth I beseeche thee by that head of ours in whome there is noe one little spott deliuer this member which yet is his how weake and poore soeuer it be Deliuer me I beseeche thee from my sinns my vices my faults and my negligence Fill me with thy holy vertues make me of most innocent conuersation And grant for thy holy names sake that I may continue euen to the very end in those good workes which thou commaundest according to thy holy will CHAP. XIV Of the confidence which a soule ought to haue in our Lord Iesus in his Passion I Could easily haue despaired through the excesse of my greiuous sinns and of my infinite negligences if thy word O God had not become flesh and had not dwelt amongst vs. But now I dare not despaire because when we were enemyes we were reconciled by the death of thy Sonne how much more now we beinge already reconciled shall we be saued by him For all the hope and stay of all my confidence doth consist in that pretious blood of his which was shed for vs and for our saluation In him doe I take breath and hopeing firmely in him I earnestly desire to come to thee not haueinge any iustice of mine owne but that which is in thy Sonne our Lord Iesus-Christe We doe therfore thank thee O most Clement and benigne louer of mankind who when we were not didst powerfully create vs by Iesus-Christe thy Sonne our Lord. And whē we were lost by our owne fault thou didst admirably deliuer and recouer vs. I giue thankes to thy mercy many thanks doe I giue thee with the whole affection of my hart who through that vnspeakable charity wherewith thou didst vouchsafe with strange goodnes to loue vs miserable and vnworthy Creatures didst send thyne onely begotten Sonne from thyne owne bosome for our common good so to saue vs sinners who were then the sonns of wrath I giue thee thanks for his holy Incarnation and Natiuity and for his glorious Mother of whom he vouchsafed to assume flesh for vs and our saluation that as he was true God of God so he might also be true man of man I thanke thee for his Crosse and Passion for his death and Resurrection for his Ascension into heauen and for his seat of Maiesty at thy right hand For vpō the fortieth day after his Resurrection ascendinge aboue all the heauens whilest his Disciples were lookeing on and being seated at thy right hand he did according to his promisse powre forth the Holy Ghoste vpon the Children of adoption I thank thee for that most sacred effusion of his most pretious Blood wherby we are redeemed and withall for that Sacred and Holy and quickninge Mistery of his Body and Blood which dayly we eate and drinke in the Church and wherby we are washed and sanctified and made partakers of that one supreame diuinity I thank thee for this admirable and vnspeakable charity of thine wherby thou hast so loued and saued vs vnworthy creatures by that onely and beloued Sonne of thine For thou didst so loue the world as to giue thy onely begotten Sonne that euery one who beleeued
of thine owne blood O Lord thou diddest loue me more then thy self since thou didest resolue to dye for me By so costly a bargaine and at soe high a price thou diddest reduce me from banishement thou diddest redeeme mee from seruitude thou didest retyre mee from punishement Thou diddest call mee in thy Name thou diddest marke me out with thy blood that the memory of thee might for euer stand before mee and that my hart might neuer receede from him who did not refuse the Crosse for mee Thou didest annoynt mee with that oyle which belonged in cheyf to thy selfe that as thou art Christ soe from thee I might be called a Christian And in thy hands thou hast written mee that thou mightest haue a continuall memory of mee with thee vpon condition that the continuall memory of thee might be still with mee Thus hath thy grace and mercy euer preuented mee For thou O my deliuerer hast often freed me from many and greate daungers When I wandred thou broughtest me back to the way when I was ignorant thou diddest teach me when I sinned thou diddest reproue mee when I was in sorrow thou diddest releiue me when I was in despayre thou didest comfort me when I fell thou diddest rayse mee when I stood thou heldest mee when I walked thou diddest lead mee when I slept thou diddest guard mee and when I cryed out to thee thou diddest heare me CHAP. XIV That God doth consider the workes and purposes of mankinde with a perpetuall attention O Lord my God and the life of my soule thou hast imparted these and many other benefits to mee whereof it would be a deare thing for mee to be euer speaking euer thinkeing and euer giueing thankes That I might for euer praise and loue thee for all thy good blessings with my whole harte and my whole soule and my whole mynde and my whole strength and with all the very marrow and the most intimate parts of my affection and with all the parts and powers of my whole man O Lord my God who art the happy sweetnes of all them who are delighted in thee But thyne eyes haue seene my imperfections Those eyes I say of thyne which are farre brighter then the Sunne lookeing downe round about at ease vpon the wayes of men and vpon the profound Abysse and they doe euery where contemplate both the good and badd For as thou doest preside ouer all things thou being all for euer present euery where and takeing particular care of all these things which thou hast created because thou hatest none of them which thou hast made so also dost thou consider all my paces and steps and doest euer keepe a watchfull guard ouer mee day and night and like a perpetuall centinell dost diligently note my wayes as if thou haddest forgotten all the whole world of thy other creatures both in heauen and earth didest not care for the rest For nether would the light of thyne owne vnchangeable sight encrease in thee though thou shouldest behould but any one onely thinge nether is it diminished although thou behould diuers and innumerable things For as thou dost perfectly and at once consider any one thinge by one onely acte of seeinge soe doth thy whole sight most perfectly and that at once behould the whole of euery particular thinge how different soeuer they may be among themselues And as it considereth all soe it considereth one and as any one soe euery one and all of them at once doest thou consider without any diuision or mutation or diminution Therefore all thou in all time without time doest consider all mee at once and that cōtinually as exactly as if thou haddest nothinge else to consider And soe therefore doest thou stand in guard of mee as if thou wouldest attend to mee alone diddest forgett all the rest For thou doest euer shew thy selfe to be present and if thou finde me ready thou doest euer offer thy self also ready Whither soeuer I goe O Lord thou forsakest me not vnles I be the first to forsake thee wheresoeuer I be thou departest not away for thou art euery where and wheresoeuer I goe I shall finde thee By what meanes may I be kept from perishing without thee since without thee I cannot be at all I confesse that whatsoeuer I doe whether it be litle or much I doe it all in thy presence and whatsoeuer that be thou seest it better then my selfe For whatsoeuer I doe thou findest thy self present there as a perpetuall spectatour of all my cogitations intentions delectations operations O Lord all my desires thoughts are euer standing before thee Thou discernest O Lord whence the spirit comes where it is whither it goes For thou art the ponderer and waigher out of all spirits and whether that roote be sweete or bitter from which the faire leaues of our actions are sent out thou as an internall Iudge dost know best Yea and thou dost sifte most subtilely into the most secret parts and pith of those very rootes dost not onely obserue number contemplate and keepe accompt of the intention by the most exquisite truth of thy light but also of the most profound and hidden sapp of that roote to the end that thou mayest repay to euery one not onely according to their workes or theyr expresse intention but also according to that interiour and originall spirit of the roote of theyr actions from whence the intention of him that worketh doth proceede To whatsoeuer I tend when I worke whatsoeuer I thinke in whatsoeuer I am delighted thyne eares heare mee thyne eyes see me and consider mee Thou dost marke and iudge and note and write in thy booke whether it be good or badd to the end that afterward thou mayest render eyther rewardes for that which is good or torments for that which is euill When thy bookes shall be opened all soules shall be iudged according to those things which shall be written in those bookes And this perhaps is that which thou didest already say to vs I will consider the last thinges of those men And that also which is sayd of thee O Lord He considereth the end of all men For thou O Lord dost in all those things which we doe more attend to the end of our intention then to the act of our operation And when I consider those things diligently O Lord my God who art soe terrible and full of strength I am alike confounded betweene huge feare and shame For a mighty necessity is imposed vpō vs of liueing with rectitude and iustice who doe all the things which we doe before the eyes of a Iudge who seeth all things CHAP. XV. Tat man of himselfe can doe nothing without diuine Grace O Thou most mighty and Omnipotent God the God of the spirits of all flesh whose eyes are ouer all the wayes of the sonnes of Adam from the day of theyr natiuity to that other of theyr death to the end that thou mayest reward euery